Brian & Ellie 5: Family Life
Based on the TV Series "Family Guy"
Sequel to "Return of The Labrador"
CHAPTER 5
Potty Training Pups
In the puppy room, the Griffin puppies are playing with the new puppies.
"Oh no," said Mitzi playing with her Princess Peach plush. "Somebody please save me!"
"Let her go, Megatron!" said Brian Jr. playing with his Mario plush.
"Never!" said Frank playing with his Megatron. "You must choose how you think she'll be tortured! Play the Baby Shark song at full blast by Soundwave, or death by Play-doh quicksand! Choose, Mario!"
"I choose Paw Patrol and Superman!" said Brian Jr.. Martin and his young siblings came with Martin's Superman action figure, and their Paw Patrol figurines.
"What? That's not a choice!" said Frank.
"Okay Paw Patrollers," said Martin playing with his Superman action figure. "Do something to hold Megatron down, I'll save the princess for Mario."
"You can count on us, Superman." said Harry playing with his Marshall figurine. "Let's get Megatron, pups!" The young pups came around Frank and knocked Megatron out of Frank's paw and landed into the Play-Doh mould.
"Oh, you got me!" said Frank.
"Heat vision powers, activate!" said Martin, then he flipped the switch to turn Superman's eyes red, then Mitzi untied the string.
"I'll save you, my dear princess." said Brian Jr..
"My hero." said Mitzi, then she used her Princess Peach plush to smooch his Mario plush.
"Thank you, Superman." he said.
"No problem Mario." said Martin turning Superman's eyes back to black. "I had to bring some of my friends to help."
The parents came home with a big box. "We're home." called Ellie.
"Hi Mom." said Mitzi.
"We're playing Mario saves the princess from Megatron." said Brian Jr..
"Ooh, that sounds fun," said Ellie. "Anyway, your Dad and I have a surprise for you."
The puppies came to their parents. "What is it, Dad?" asked Sally.
"Yeah, what the heck is that thing?" said Frank.
Brian chuckled. "I'm glad you asked, pups." said Brian. "But first, I'm gonna ask you this. Ever wondered what it's like to go outside our home and go to the bathroom in one of our shrubberies?"
"Nuh-uh." said Tammy.
"I am never gonna ruin our garden by peeing in a bush." said Frank.
Brian chuckled again. "Well in this case, you don't have to." said Brian. "This my friends, is the Potty-Hydrant."
"Wow." said the puppies.
"Your Mom and I bought this from Jack Russell's Family Emporium, and it was quite a bargain." said Brian. "Now I'm gonna install this in the bathroom upstairs." Brian takes the box upstairs to the bathroom.
"And I'll help your father." said Ellie, then she follows Brian.
"I've got a bad feeling about this, guys." said Brian-John.
"What are you talking about, John?" asked Mitzi.
"Well, what if I don't have to go?" he asked.
"Oh, come on John." said Harry.
"Even dogs have to go sometimes, John." said Dean.
"Oh sure," said Brian-John. "All dogs go everywhere. There's lampposts, trees, fire hydrants, dumpsters, bushes, and even brick walls."
"Chill out, little brother." said Brian Jr.. "You'll have to go, sometimes."
"Yeah, it's not all that bad, John." said Coco. "It's just a simple fire hydrant."
"Not that bad?" said Brian-John. "I had to pee in the backyard and in one of the bushes, and I had to let Mom pick up my poop with a plastic bag, that was already left on the grass out there."
"Well, things have got to change," said Martin. "It's time you used that hydrant, like a dog you are."
o - o - o - o - o
In the main bathroom, after Brian had installed the Potty-Hydrant with help from his wife, he teaches their puppies how to use the hydrant. "Alright pups," said Brian. "Here's how it works. When you wanna go take a pee, whether you're a boy or a girl, you normally walk a lap around the hydrant sniffing it, then when the time is right, for boys, you lift your leg up and do your business, and for girls, you squat down with your legs spread open and empty your flood. And when you're finished doin' your business, all your contents will flow down into this compartment, that should contain your pee. Then afterwards, we'll open the hydrant, take this compartment, empty your contents into the toilet and flush it away."
"I guess that makes a lot of sense, Dad." said Brian Jr..
"But Dad, what if some of us gotta go take a poop?" asked Frank.
"Not to worry, son." their Dad said. "That's why it comes with a poop bin." he takes out the Poop bin.
"So you see kids," their Mum said. "When you wanna go Number one, you might wanna use the hydrant, and there's the poop bin for your Number two. That makes sense?"
"I guess so, Mommy." said Jenny.
"But we don't want to go right now," said Harry. "Not just yet."
"You know pups," their Dad said. "Every puppy has to go someday. Whether it's Number One or Number Two."
o - o - o - o - o
Back in the puppy room, the puppies are still playing with their toys before dinner. "What's the matter, John?" asked Brian Jr..
"I'm most certainly not sure how to use the hydrant, Junior." replied Brian-John. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to be a dog yet."
"Yes you are, John." said Frank.
"Frank, please." said Brian Jr. stopping him. "Let your brother handle this. Now John, I'll try and go easy on you, it's a dog world out there, where dogs chew on bones, drink fresh water, and sometimes mark their territory, and when a dog finds the right girl and falls in love with her, not only they'll be made for each other, eventually they'll become mates, and have a family of their own."
"I see where you're getting at, Junior." said Brian-John. "I don't see why I should… Uh oh."
"What's the matter, John?" asked Martin.
"I… I…" said Brian-John holding onto his crotch with his paws and shaking his legs.
"Why are you holding onto yourself?" asked Dean.
"I gotta go!" cried Brian-John, then he howled like a wolf.
Their mother came in suddenly. "Oh dear God," said Ellie, then she carried Brian-John and hurried him to the bathroom. "Brian, this is it."
"What is it, Ellie?" asked Brian. "What's the rush?"
"It sounds like it's John's time to use the hydrant." she said.
"Where?" he asked.
"In the bathroom." she said.
"Finally, our first user." he said.
"Brian," she said.
"I'm comin' up." he said coming upstairs following her. Some of the puppies saw their parents rushing Brian-John upstairs to the bathroom.
"Where the heck are Mom and Dad taking John to?" asked Frank.
"To the bathroom obviously." answered Dean.
In the main bathroom, Ellie set Brian-John on to the Potty-Hydrant. "Brian, hurry." she said calling her husband.
"I'm comin', honey." he said coming in. "Am I too late?"
"No dear, you're just in time." she said. "Okay, now that Brian-John's at the hydrant, what do you suppose we do?"
"Well, according to the manual, we're supposed to wait for our puppy to do his business around this hydrant, and then afterwards, we praise him." he said.
"So is that it?" she said.
"Yeah, just wait." he said.
"But, what about dinner?" she asked feeling worried.
"Did you set the timer?" he asked.
"Yeah, I set the timer." she said.
As Brian and Ellie Griffin wait for Brian-John to use the Potty-Hydrant, the dog couple sat on the cold bathroom tile floor talking about their Summer plans, then they both play 'Go Fish', then they both took a nap.
The puppies came into the bathroom to check on Brian-John. "Are you okay, John?" asked Brian Jr..
"Is it so much to ask, Junior?" asked Brian-John. "Is it so much to ask? I just want things to stay the way they've always been."
"Oh come on, John." said Frank.
"Why are you acting like such a puppy?" asked Dean.
"Yeah, they're gonna make you pee on this hydrant anyway, John." said Jenny. "Why don't you just go along with it?"
"Of course Jenny," said Brian-John. "When it happens to you guys, maybe that's what you should do."
"Happens to us?!" said Jenny, Harry and Lottie. "Nah."
"Well, I guess I don't have to go after all." said Brian-John getting off the Potty-Hydrant. The puppies saw Brian-John peeing on the bathroom floor.
"Uh, John, why are you peeing on the floor?" asked Martin pointing to him.
"What are you talking about?" asked Brian-John, before realising he was peeing on the floor. "Uh-oh." he saw the wet spot.
"Ew." said Mitzi. The puppies backed away from his urine.
Seconds later, after the puppies and Brian-John left the bathroom, the dog couple cleans up Brian-John's puddle of urine on the floor.
"I don't understand Brian," said Ellie. "John was standing next to the hydrant."
"It was an accident, Elle." said Brian. "Lots of puppies haven't been potty-trained at his age."
"Really, like who?" she asked.
"Like Stewie for example." he said.
"Well you know how Stewie is with his diaper." she said. "And how Lois always changed him." she suddenly heard the timer beeping. "Dinner!" she then rushed downstairs to the kitchen.
o - o - o - o - o
During dinner, Ellie told Brian that the report cards came in the mail. "Our nine pups got their report cards in the mail today." said Ellie. "And none of them have F's."
"Your mother and I are so proud of you, kids." said Brian. "Not even a single F."
"Well, it was the last day of school, Dad." said Brian Jr.. "I've got A's and B's."
"I've got all A's, Junior." said Eli.
"I only got C's and D's." said Dean.
"We've got A's and B's, same as Junior's." said Sally.
"I've also got A's and B's." said Martin.
"I've got same as Junior's, Dad." said Frank.
"I've got Two A's, Two C's and a P." said Coco. That made Brian-John almost have the urge.
"What did you say Coco?" asked Brian Jr.."
"I said a B, Junior." said Coco. Brian-John was puzzled.
After dinner, the family was watching a movie for Family Night.
"We gotta put that fire out!" said the character in the movie.
"With what?!" asked another character in the movie.
"With this hose!" said the character. Brian-John was feeling nervous.
"Calm down, John, it's just a movie." said Dean.
"You would say so, Dean," said Brian-John. "Seeing this running hose almost makes me wanna go."
"You always worry about wanting to go, John." said Mitzi. "You might go in the middle of the night sometimes."
"I think I'll hold it in." said Brian-John.
"Are you sure?" asked Frank.
"I'm completely sure, Frank." said Brian-John.
o - o - o - o - o
Later that night, the family is currently asleep in their beds and basket, then Brian-John begins to have a dream. In Brian-John's dream, he was floating on the raft on a flowing river. He saw an elephant squirting water on its baby for its bath, he thought it was nothing, then he saw a garden sprinkler sprinkling all over the grass, nothing either, then he saw thunderstorms, then he saw two firemen playing hoses running from the fire hydrant, this made Brian-John have an urge to pee. He held his paws onto his crotch with his legs pressed onto his thighs. Then he saw the audience cheering for the cheerleader.
"Go! Go! Go!" shouted the audience. "We're number one!"
"Give me a 'P'!" shouted the cheerleader.
"P!" shouted the audience. "Go! Go! Go! P! P! P!"
This made Brian-John woke up with a start panting heavily. "Whoa, I really gotta pee." said Brian-John, then he got out of the basket, then he rushed to the bathroom.
As Brian-John quickly ran into the bathroom, he got on the Potty-Hydrant, sniffs around it by a lap, he lifts up his leg and sighed as he pees on the hydrant.
Brian woke up as he heard his son using the Potty-Hydrant for the first time ever. "Ellie, wake up," said Brian.
Ellie moved her sleeping mask (embroidered with the words 'My Show Dog Wife', that Brian gave her on her fifth Birthday) on her forehead. "What is it, Brian?" asked Ellie yawning.
"It's John," he said. "He's doing it."
"You mean…" she started before her husband says,
"Yes." he said.
"I think we better check on him." she said. The dog couple got out of bed and walked outside their bedroom and towards the main bathroom.
In the main bathroom, the couple walked in and saw Brian-John on the Potty-Hydrant. "Oh my God," he said. "He did it. He actually did it."
"Did what, honey?" she asked.
"John went to the bathroom all by himself, got by the hydrant, and he went Number one." he said.
"I'll say." she said, then she praised Brian-John. "Bravo John."
"Way to go, John, you potty pup." he said praising Brian-John.
"Dad, is it my turn to use the hydrant yet?" asked Lottie.
"What's the matter, Lottie?" her Dad asked.
"I think I drank too much water." she said pressing her legs onto her thighs.
"Honey, how much does this hydrant carry up to?" he asked.
"I guess it carries up to 75 ounces." she said.
"I see." he said. "Well go ahead, Lottie. The more the merrier."
"Thanks Dad," she said. "Can I have some privacy please?"
"Sure, Lottie." her Dad said, then the parents and Brian-John left the bathroom for Lottie to use the hydrant.
"Well, you know what they say, John." said Brian Jr. walking to his brother. "Everybody who's anybody is potty trained."
"You said it, Junior." said Brian-John. "I promise, I will use it every time I need to go."
"Hey John," said Harry. "I don't mean to wake from our sleep, but I think some of us need to use that hydrant." Harry, Richard, Jenny and Tammy held their crotches in need to use the hydrant.
"Oh, come on." said Brian-John palming his face with his paw.
END OF CHAPTER 5
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know this is an adaptation to the Rugrats episode "Chuckie Vs. The Potty", but this is the puppy version. Chapter 6 is in development.
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from Family Guy, which is a registered trademark of FOX and The Walt Disney Company. I do NOT own any of these Family Guy related characters, they belong to Seth MacFarlane, FOX and The Walt Disney Company. The story I tell here focuses on my fantasy of Brian X Ellie is my own invention and is not purported or believed to be part of Seth MacFarlane's story canon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and is not part of an official plot. I am not making any money of this fan fiction using any Family Guy characters. I am truly grateful for Seth MacFarlane for his awesome show taking place in Quahog, Rhode Island, for without his show, my story wouldn't exist.
