Chapter 9: History Lesson
"Wh-what?"
He hadn't expected those words. He hadn't expected their talk to head in this direction.
"I think it would be best to talk about the other Gems now, Steven."
Steven did not like what Mr. Araki was asking him.
"Why?"
It should have made him relieved to talk about anything other than Peridot. To forget about his grief. But he found himself moving away slightly from Mr. Araki. And he suddenly felt uneasy; like he shouldn't be talking to the blonde businessman.
But he had no idea why.
Mr. Araki still wore the same pleasant smile. It was a smile that had only lost its kindness once or twice throughout their talk when they were discussing his dead family. He felt his worry grow as it continued to scratch at his mind and for the first time since he woke up, he could no longer feel the sorrow eating away at his soul.
He could only feel anxiety now. For apparently no reason at all.
"Because there's something I wish to confirm, Steven."
"What's that?"
Mr. Araki looked right into his eyes. He felt uncomfortable staring into the man's purple pupils. He did not know why; they emitted a gentle warmth that he had only seen from the Gems before now. There was nothing about Mr. Araki's purple eyes that should cause him to feel so unsettled.
"First, I like to ask you a question."
He had yet to see Mr. Araki blink. And that made him want to look away. But for some reason, he found his eyes would not move. It was like he was trapped in the businessman's gaze.
He felt his heart beating faster than usual.
"You said you don't know how you were born, correct?"
His stomach twisted. A familiar pain entered his body and was now residing in his heart.
"Yes."
He really wanted to look away.
"Tell me, how often has this happened?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Wha...what do you mean?"
"I mean, how often do your guardians not explain things that you should know?"
Too often. He couldn't even begin to count how many things he still didn't know about the Gems. He still had no knowledge of the world they came from. He still knew nothing about the Corrupted Gems he fought.
He still didn't know anything about the Crystal Gems' past.
"I don't know."
"That's not a good answer."
His hands curled into a fist. He wasn't being fair. Mr. Araki wasn't being fair. They might not tell him stuff, but he still knew enough. He knew who they were as people.
That was all that mattered.
"Does it matter?"
His eyes narrowed at Mr. Araki.
"Of course it does."
"Why?"
"Because, Steven, this sounds like..."
Mr. Araki trailed off. His eyes glanced to the side and stayed there.
He felt fear slip into his body; it slithered and quickly gripped his chest.
"Wh-What?"
"Nevermind. I believe I was mistaken."
Something was growing within him.
"No, what is it?"
"It's nothing. If you say that it doesn't matter, then surely it's inconsequential."
Whatever was growing within him was beginning to rot. It was something that begged to leave his body. It wasn't fear, this was different—too toxic to be fear. And the pain he suddenly felt was different from the one he had been feeling from his sorrow. This pain was somehow more agonizing than his grief. And it was familiar. He had felt this feeling before, had felt the same thing skewing him to the spot multiple times in the past.
He could barely even breathe now as he shakily spoke.
"Just tell me, please."
Mr. Araki looked back at him.
"Well... I suppose, to me, it sounds like their keeping secrets from you."
Secrets.
So many times he had thought about the hushed whispers the Gems told each other when he wasn't there, had thought about all the terms and names they knew but he didn't. So many times he thought about how his enemies kept telling him things he hadn't know before. About how they informed him more about his heritage than then his own family.
I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz, shatter Pink Diamond!
So many times did he want to know what they were keeping from him. He desperately wanted to know what secrets they refused to tell him.
The secrets he deserved to know.
"At least, that's what it sounds like to me. I could be wrong though."
He did not respond. He once again found himself unable to look away from Mr. Araki's pupils.
"Well, you're wrong. The Gems wouldn't do that."
Even he could hear how pathetic his words sounded. He could almost see the doubt flooding his voice as he spoke; he felt the uncertainty whirling in his expression.
"Steven, be honest. Do you think your guardians keep secrets?"
Mr. Araki's words made his pain so much worse, turning it cold. His body felt like it was suddenly transported to the middle of a blizzard.
He did not want to talk. He wanted to just sit in silence.
"Steven...please answer the question."
But those words suddenly commanded him to speak; as if his mouth was forced to speak. Mr. Araki's words urged him to talk.
To finally admit what he had known for so long.
"Yes."
The pain actually seemed to decrease, and the coldness began to fade
Mr. Araki lips were back in his kind smile.
"I know that must have been difficult to admit, but these questions serve a purpose."
He had never really known anyone who sounded as nice as Mr. Araki. Beach City was full of good people, but Mr. Araki was different. He seemed to be full of nothing but cheer and kindness. He barely knew anything about him, but already he could tell what kind of man Mr. Arakri was. Someone who cared for others around him. Someone who always gave people a joyful smile when he felt they needed it most.
But for some reason, he could hear something telling him that Mr. Araki's kindness was the reason why he felt so anxious. Like it was... unnatural for anyone to be so nice.
He blinked as he realized just how dumb those thoughts were. People were nice. There wasn't anything wrong with that.
"Now, tell me, why do you think they keep secrets?"
"I... I guess to protect me."
"Protect you from what?"
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He tried to think of an answer, but nothing came to his mind.
"Steven?"
"... I don't know."
"Are you seeing the same thing I am?"
"What?"
"That your guardians seem to have a habit of not explaining things to you."
Those words could not have been more accurate. There were so many times he could think of where a simple explanation would have helped him greatly. So many problems that could have been solved if the Gems explained anything to him. Mysteries that could be solved in an instant if they just talked to him.
So why didn't they? Why was he the one who always had to try and figure things out by himself?
Why did they feel the need to exclude him?
He shook his head. That...that wasn't right. They didn't exclude him. They...they loved him. He couldn't forget that one basic fact.
They loved him. That was what mattered the most. Not their secrets. And not anything else.
"They have their reasons for not telling me stuff. I'm sure of it."
Mr. Araki raised an eyebrow.
"Really? That is what you believe?"
He gave him a firm nod. They were his family. He trusted them with his life. And he knew they felt the same.
"Yes."
"Steven..."
Mr. Araki paused. There was something in his expression that he didn't like. Something that seemed to say the blonde gentleman knew something he did not. Some emotion he could not identify whirled in his face as the businessman tried to put what he wanted to say into words.
He could feel his fear once again rise and twist inside him; a dull and painful throb suddenly appeared in his chest.
"Let me ask you this Steven. Do you think their secrets have ever caused you problems?"
"Wha-What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you think there has ever been a time in your life where their secrets have directly or inadvertently caused you harm in some way?"
What? Of course no-
"Or perhaps a mistake from their past causing harm to someone you know?"
His thoughts stopped dead in their tracks.
And his mind became consumed by images. Images of a mirror. Images of his friend crying her heart out after finally being set free. Images of a blue woman who was so furious she nearly killed the Gems.
He was not sure when, but he had started to sweat.
"I take it by your expression that the answer to my question is a yes."
He let out long shaky breaths. He slowly brought a trembling arm up to wipe away his sweat. He had recalled that memory so many times in the past, but it had never felt so intense before. This was the first time he had practically been transported back to that night. The first time he his eyes had practically zoomed in on Lapis' tear-stained face. He could feel the anguish that radiated from her frail body on that day on the beach.
And it was horrifying.
"N-No, that-I mean, that's not right."
Mr. Araki's eyes narrowed. And the man in front of him seemed far more stern than he did moments ago; he felt the intensity from the businessman's pupils. He was surprised that Mr. Araki could look so...intimidating.
"Steven, please don't lie. You're trembling like a law student scrambling to answer questions on a test he doesn't know the answers to. If the Gems have hurt you because of their mistakes, then-."
"No! They haven't hurt me! It's just-!"
He didn't know if he should talk about that night. If he should talk about Lapis. It wasn't his place to speak about her past to people she did not even know.
"It's complicated."
He knew that the answer he gave was weak, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. He couldn't tell him about Lapis and the mirror unless she gave him permission. And he knew she would never do that; she would rarely ever talk about the trauma she went through, even to him. Instead, she chose to ignore it and try to move on with her life...even though she was failing horribly at forgetting the damage a thousand years locked in a mirror had done to her.
And he could only imagine what seeing her best friend die only a few feet away from her most have done to her already fragile mind.
Mr. Araki let out a sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
"Steven, is there some reason you're not telling me what your guardians did?"
The blonde businessman was frustrated. Mr. Araki wanted to help him, but he knew that he was making that rather difficult due to his hesitance.
"It's not-I mean technically-."
He took a moment to wipe more cold sweat away from his forehead.
"I can't tell you what exactly happened because that would mean I would have to tell you about something bad that happened to one of the Gems. And I can't do that because it's not my right to tell her story behind her back."
He had finally found the right words to express his situation. Mr. Araki raised another eyebrow. The blond gentleman seemed to take a moment to think about his words. And a second later, it looked like he found an answer to his problem.
Mr. Araki gave him another smile full of affection.
"Steven, do you know what doctor-patient confidentiality is?"
"No, what's that?"
"Well, normally it applies to when a psychiatrist talks to his patient. You see, the psychiatrist can't talk to anyone about anything his patient has said to him during their sessions."
"You're a psychiatrist?"
"Well, no. But do you know why a psychiatrist can't talk to anyone about what their patients say to them?"
"Because they don't want you to tell other people what they said?"
"Yes, that's part of it. But there is a much larger reason as to why."
Mr. Araki leaned a little closer to his face. The smile on his lips grew a bit bigger.
"It's so that the patient feels comfortable talking to their psychiatrist. It's so that they know they don't have to hide anything from them. Even if what they say involves other people."
The smile he wore became even bigger. It was so compassionate that he could feel the warmth leaving Mr. Araki's lips with each word he spoke. The businessman's voice compelled him to talk. It assured him that it was okay to talk about whatever he felt the need to keep secret.
"So know that no matter what you say, I will keep it to myself. If you're worried about revealing something personal about your friends, don't be."
He looked down to the bench. He shouldn't even be thinking about this. Lapis wouldn't want him to do this.
"I promise that I won't tell a soul about whatever we discuss here. Any personal details you tell me about your guardians will be locked safely away in my mind."
Mr. Araki was a kind man. Of that, he had no doubts. He wouldn't do something that would harm either him or his friends. He knew that the businessman would keep his word. The benevolence packed into his every word basically assured him of that fact.
But he still wasn't sure...
"Besides, I feel like your family would want you to take whatever steps necessary. They love you, you said so yourself. Surely they wouldn't mind you talking about them if it meant you'd recover faster? If you can talk freely to me, then I know we can make some real progress with helping you deal with your problems."
He...did not know the answer to that question. Would they really not mind? If something was upsetting him, then maybe he could imagine Lapis wanting to do anything to help him out. She gave Peridot, the gem who had captured her, another chance simply because he asked. Even though she was against the idea, she still listened to him. So maybe he could picture her giving him permission, even if it meant him talking about her past and all the pain she suffered through.
But he felt that if he shared some of the Gems' past, they would not like that. He had trouble imagining them being completely fine with revealing their past to a human they'd never met.
Well, considering all the secrets they liked to keep from him, was it really that surprising?
...He did not like how resentful that last thought sounded.
"I... I mean, I guess they'd be okay with it."
Yeah. They definitely would be fine with it. He was just...being paranoid, that was all. If it was to help him, he knew they wouldn't get upset over talking about their past. After all, they loved him. They wouldn't mind at all.
They'd understand...they'd absolutely understand.
"Good. Now, let's get back to our previous question."
Mr. Araki crossed his right leg over his left. The man's purple eyes once again gazed into his pupils.
"Before you said that technically one of your friends had been harmed because of your guardians keeping secrets. Could you go into more details about what happened?"
"Well..."
He took in a long breath.
This was to get help. Mr. Araki promised him this would help him get over his grief. It was the right thing to do.
"Lapis, the Gem I told you about before-."
"The one who can control the ocean?"
"Yeah, her. She...ended up trapped in a mirror for thousands of years because of the Gems."
There was a pause. And after a few seconds, the blonde gentleman spoke.
"...A mirror?"
Mr. Araki seemed intrigued by his words as he stared.
"If it's alright with you, can you go into a little bit as to how your Gem biology works? I'm afraid I'm a tad...in the dark about certain aspects of your physiology."
It was a fair question. Rarely anyone in Beach City knew how the Gems' bodies actually worked.
Though, he was a bit surprised. To him, Mr. Araki didn't seem all that distressed over hearing someone going through such a trauma. Then again, maybe the businessman just hadn't fully processed his words yet.
"Well, Gems are kind of like..."
He tried to remember how Pearl phrased it.
"Holograms with mass. They don't have a physical form; instead, their bodies are projections of their gemstones. And if their gemstones get damaged-."
He stopped talking.
He could hear Peridot again. He could hear her screaming his name. Could feel the fire that killed her burn his skin. Her terrified face flashed through his mind. The fear was unlike any he had seen before. He could feel the agony she was going through just before...before...
"If they get damaged..."
Another image of her cracked gem appeared in his mind. The rock that had once been a part of his family was burnt pitch black. The friend he had made was now gone. In an instant, everything that she ever was had been wiped off the face of the earth.
"If they get damaged..."
Sorrow submerged him. He could feel it flooding his body. Could feel it drown every thought he had. With each second it became all the more painful. A torrent of icy water had submerged his heart and it made every twitch of his body agonizing. The world around him grew darker as his body trembled.
"If they get damaged..."
In the darkness surrounding him, he suddenly another image appeared in front of him
The same thing that was from his dream.
In the darkness, he could see a pair of pink eyes glaring at him.
"Steven?"
The darkness faded.
He whipped his head to the side.
And saw two purple pupils staring down at him.
"Tissue?"
In Mr. Araki's hand was a blue handkerchief.
He brought a hand to his eyes. And he realized that he was crying again.
"Tha-Thank you."
His voice had never sounded so raw before. It had never been so full of misery once in his life.
He wiped away the tears with the neat napkin.
"I know this is difficult Steven, but you must continue. It will help me greatly, I can promise you that."
He gave him another smile. This one somehow had even more kindness in it than his last smile. That smile made him feel safe. Mr. Araki's words made his grief easier to handle. With just a small gesture, he had made him feel just the tiniest bit better since this day began.
"Now then, let's get back to Ms. Lazuli. We can talk about your biology later. You said she was stuck in a mirror for a thousand years, correct?"
His lips moved into a frown.
"Yeah. It was awful for her. Not being able to move for centuries. Not being able to go back to her home. And she spent all that time alone."
He looked down.
"It really messed her up."
When he looked back up, Mr. Araki had a frown on his face. He could see the sorrow forming in his expression as he glanced to the side. He must have felt bad that someone had to go through such an awful tragedy. The man was extremely empathic to other people's problems.
"I can imagine. She must still have nightmares about such an ordeal."
His eyes then moved back to him.
"But how exactly is her getting trapped in a mirror your guardians' fault?"
He let out a breath.
"Well, they didn't trap her in the mirror, someone else had done that during the Gem War-."
"Gem War?"
Mr. Araki raised an eyebrow.
He quickly realized his mistake.
"Oh sorry. The Gem War was this big war fought on earth between the rebellion, the original Crystal Gems, and Homeworld, the bad Gems."
"So what you are saying is there was a war fought on earth between an alien race?"
"Yeah. Homeworld wanted to take earth for its resources, but my mom and the other Crystal Gems stopped them."
"So, during this war was when Ms. Lapis became trapped in a mirror?"
"Yeah. Apparently, Homeworld thought she was a Crystal Gem and they trapped her in the mirror. When the war was over, they left her on earth and that's when the Crystal Gems found her."
He took a moment to pause. He wanted to make sure he hadn't lost Mr. Araki. When the man nodded his head, he took that as his sign to continue.
"They took her in, but they didn't know she was in the mirror. So, they basically left her in storage for thousands of years."
He still had trouble believing that the Gems had been so...carless. He couldn't believe they hadn't realized that there was someone in that mirror for thousands of years.
"So, because of the Gems, Lapis had to spend thousands of years in a prison. Because of their rebellion, an innocent woman had to suffer. And because of their mistake, Lapis was trapped and couldn't escape until I found her."
He glanced at the floor. It was no wonder that the blue-skinned woman hated the other Gems so much. Saying it all out loud only made it clear as to just how much pain she had gone through.
"Are you sure about that?"
He blinked. And then he glanced back to Mr. Araki. The man in the blue suit had on a rather curious expression. And he could see something slowly creeping into his eyes.
To him, it almost seemed like... Doubt.
"What do you mean?"
"May I ask how you knew Lapis was in there?"
"Well, she couldn't speak, but she could repeat images or words. Like, say she saw you laughing. She could record that image, and play it again at any time. Sound and all."
Mr. Araki's eyes narrowed.
"Steven...are you sure your guardians didn't know Ms. Lazuli was inside that mirror?"
His heart stopped.
The coldness from before returned. This time it was far more chilling than before.
He didn't... Did he just suggest...?
"What?"
His voice was incredibly quiet.
"I said, did your guardians truly not know that Ms. Lazuli was trapped there."
"OF COURSE NOT!"
He had stood on top of the bench. An anger unlike any he had felt before burned within him, blazing throughout every part of his body.
He couldn't believe Mr. Araki suggested that. The Gems would never do something like that. They would never hurt an innocent living person. They would never ignore someone's cries for help. They were good, no matter what kind of secrets they kept from him. Nothing would ever convince him otherwise.
And as he looked at Mr. Araki, he saw the man was not at all disturb by his rage. The businessman's face remained in the same frown, never looking away from his eyes despite the fact he knew they were more fearsome than they had ever been before.
The only noticeable change he saw was that Mr. Araki's lips twitched a little.
The blonde businessman in front of him seemed to be thinking about something, but about what he did not care. He didn't want to talk to him anymore. The Gems might have secrets, but they wouldn't-.
"Steven, you just said that Lapis had the power to communicate with others. Despite the fact she was imprisoned, she could properly let others know that she was no ordinary mirror, correct?"
"Yeah, so wha-!?"
He stopped talking.
And his eyes widened.
No...
"Which means that she could have easily talked to your guardians about what had happened to her."
No...
"She surely must have had some image she could replay for them. Some voice clip that would let them know what had happened to her."
That...that couldn't...
"She surely would have tried to tell your guardians what had happened to her...yet for some reason, she still remained trapped."
You...You three knew and you didn't do anything!
Her words from that night came crashing back like a tide. It submerged him as his body suddenly felt very numb.
"It's impossible to think that she didn't tell the Crystal Gems what had happened to her...and it's impossible to believe that your guardians didn't hear her cries."
Did you ever wonder who I used to be!
No,no,no,no,no,no!
They wouldn't...they'd never...
No!
"They would never do that!"
He shouted again...but this time he could hear something else in his voice. Something besides his vicious anger.
I'm Lapis Lazuli, and you can't keep me trapped here anymore!
...It was doubt.
"You really have that much faith in your guardians?"
"Of course I do! They're my family! After everything we've been through I know them! They love me and I love them back! They deserve my trust!"
"You don't sound so sure."
His breath hitched in his throat.
"It might be small, but I can still hear the doubt in your voice."
He once again saw Lapis with tears streaming down her face. He heard how sure she was that the Gems had willingly allowed her to suffer.
And he remembered their response.
Guys...y-you wouldn't...you didn't trap her in that mirror, right?
Of course not Steven.
They didn't trap her. That they had assured him of. On that night, the Gems told him that they would never do something like that.
...But they never told him if they knew she was in there.
The doubt within him grew. It whispered into his ear with a sly grin. What if the Gems had known Lapis was there? What if they allowed her to suffer for so many years?
What if, they simply didn't care about her?
He felt fear consume him. Immense and cold fear that grew with every bead of sweat that fell down his face.
No, that...that couldn't be it.
"Can you really say from the bottom of your heart you can't picture your guardians doing something like that?"
...He didn't want to answer that.
"You don't know that Lapis could always communicate."
His voice was shaky.
"Couldn't she?"
"She doesn't remember everything about her time trapped in the mirror. Some of its blurry."
Every word that left his mouth was spoken as softly as possible. The shakiness of his voice carried into his words and he had trouble trying not to stutter.
"But when you found her, she could communicate through the mirror?"
"Yeah."
"And you think that on the day you found her, she just so happened to realize she had the power to replay images in order to communicate with others?"
It sounded ridiculous when Mr. Araki phrased it like that. It sounded so unlikely. When he really thought about, the chances of them not knowing decreased with each second.
To him...it was starting to become more and more likely the Gems had-.
No.
He wouldn't believe that.
They weren't like that.
They wouldn't ever consider leaving someone to go through such a fate. That would be the same as shattering them. And they wouldn't-.
I watched the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz, shatter Pink Diamond.
Stop it!
Fresh pain had entered his body. It stabbed at his heart and made his stomach twist. His thoughts became vile. They kept telling him that the Gems weren't what he thought they were. That the secrets they kept were far darker than he could ever imagine.
He could hear his doubt once again whispering into his ear.
Were the Gems really incapable of doing that?
"You don't know them."
He tried to make his voice sound firm. He tried to pour in as much confidence as he could into his words. He partially succeeded. His voice was louder and was no longer shaky, but he could not silence the doubt that still crawled within it.
He glanced to the floor.
"You have no idea what they're like. You can't judge people you haven't even met."
"You're right."
He glanced back towards Mr. Araki.
And he looked...different.
"It would be unreasonable to cast judgment on people I know nothing about."
It wasn't just that his warm smile had been replaced by a deep frown. But it was his posture. It was his face.
All of sudden, the man in front of him seemed so different.
He seemed..cold.
"But why don't you help me understand where you're coming from?"
The smile was back. And the chilling air that surrounded him was gone in an instant.
He must have been imagining things. His own doubt must have been clouding his senses.
"I think it would be best if you describe each of your guardians. That way, I know exactly who they are."
That was a simple request. He should have been fine talking about the other Gems.
But something stopped him. Something inside his mind begged him not to talk. Something from within his heart warned him that he should stop this conversation now.
But he couldn't stop now. Otherwise, Mr. Araki might end up thinking the worse about the Gems. He might think they were bad people.
But they weren't. He knew that for a fact.
He bubbled away the doubt within his heart. He pushed aside the pain slicing his body.
He needed this talk. To help him through his grief.
And to prove the Gems weren't like what Mr. Araki thought of them.
"Alright. Who should I talk about first?"
"May I suggest the...ivory one?"
"Oh, you mean Pearl. Tall, pink hair, Gem on her forehead?"
"Yes, her."
"Well, she's really graceful. She moves like a ballerina. She's always kind and loving, just like the other Gems. She's a bit of a perfectionist though."
"In what ways?"
"Sometimes she can be a bit...demanding. She can sometimes get a little carried away with things. Like she can nitpick over really small details."
"Does she ever criticize you?"
"Well, sometimes. But mostly she just criticizes..."
He trailed off. He thought about Pearl and everything she went through. Thought about all her flaws and how he was about to talk about them to a man she hadn't met.
"She criticizes what, Steven?"
"...Herself, mostly."
He needed to be open. He couldn't leave anything out. Just like Mr. Araki said.
"Could you explain that a little more?"
"Well... Pearl has some issues."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"She...she thinks she has little to no self-worth as a person."
Mr. Araki raised an eyebrow.
"Go on..."
"She thinks that she's inferior to the other Gems. She thinks that she constantly needs to prove her worth."
"When did she first start developing such a mindset?"
"I think when she fought alongside my mom during the war. She...she would do anything for Rose. She'd thought the only way to prove her worth was to constantly risk her life to prove herself."
When Garnet told him that, he wasn't that surprised. He had known that Pearl always...idealized his mother. It wasn't hard for him to guess that she had gotten the idea that she had to be perfect from Rose. He knew that Pearl thought Rose was the epitome of what a person should be, whether they be Gem or human. She thought that she had to try and be as perfect as Rose was.
She thought she had to have no flaws like his mother.
Even though Rose Quartz wasn't perfect.
"Tell me more about Ms. Pearl's relationship with your mother."
Mr. Araki leaned a bit forward.
"Well, Pearl was with my mom since the beginning of the war. They had met on Homeworld, and Rose gave Pearl purpose. She inspired Pearl to fight and rebel against the people hurting earth. Ever since then she stayed with my mom."
"How did she do that?"
"Huh?"
"How did she inspire Ms. Pearl to fight?"
He paused.
And then blinked.
He actually had difficulty finding an answer for such an easy question.
They... Pearl had to have told him what Rose did to inspire her at some point. She always went on and on about Rose, so there was no way she could forget to leave out such an important detail.
Then he remembered something.
"Oh right! Back on Homeworld, Pearls aren't exactly viewed as a type of Gem. My mom was the only one who treated them like people. On Homeworld, their viewed more like-."
"Slaves?"
He once again paused.
He...wasn't sure if that was the right word. He had never heard Pearl once refer to herself as a former slave. And there would be no reason for the ivory Gem to keep that hidden from him. He always thought of Pearls to be more like servants. But "slaves" did seem to also fit how she and the other Gems had described Pearls in the past. Pearl did say that other Pearls were-.
Wait.
Now that he thought about it...what exactly had Pearl said about her race? The most she had ever said was that not every Pearl knew each other. The most any of the Gems had said was that Pearls weren't viewed kindly in the eyes of Homeworld. Pearl had never really explained anything about her race, even once.
Most of the information he had learned about her race was from...Peridot. And that was only because the green Gem had insulted Pearl when she was still trying to adjust to earth.
What exactly had the Gems told him about any of the many races that belonged to Homeworld?
"I... I guess you could say that."
When was the last time they told him anything about Homeworld?
He couldn't answer his own questions. Within his stomach, he could feel his doubt once again expand. A cold dread slowly embedded itself into his very heart. Because now that he thought about it, the Gems...they had never told him much about Homeworld.
The Gems seemed to be actively avoiding saying anything about Homeworld.
But...why?
"You still have yet to explain how your mother inspired Ms. Pearl to fight."
His dread became colder. It had begun to coil around his throat as it continued to grow.
He swallowed audibly.
"Wha-What?"
"How did your mother convince Pearl to fight against Homeworld?"
Mr. Araki's eyes narrowed.
"In fact, how exactly did your mother meet Ms. Pearl?"
He opened his mouth.
And promptly closed it.
"... You don't know do you?"
No. No, he did not.
She hadn't even told him that. He knew how Garnet met Rose. He knew that Amethyst joined after the war. But he did not know how Pearl had met the woman she idealized. Even though she went on and on about how great his mother was, she never once mentioned how they met.
"No."
His right hand gripped his pants leg. Why did she not even tell him something so simple? Why was it that she never talked about what she did before the war?
"I see..."
Mr. Araki's expression became contemplative. He could not tell what the blond businessman was thinking, but the way his unblinking eyes stared at him for some reason unsettled him. With just his gaze, the fear within him grew. It began to swallow his stomach as it slithered towards his mind.
He didn't think he would like what Mr. Araki was about to say.
"Tell me Steven, you said that Pearl has an inferiority complex, correct?"
"What's an inferiority complex?"
"It's the belief that you don't have any self-worth. That you constantly doubt yourself and believe you will never measure up to the standards of those around you."
"Oh, well in that case, yeah. Pearl's mostly gotten over it, but there are times when she still feels...less than useful."
Mr. Araki brought his hand underneath his chin.
"Has her issues ever caused you or your other guardian's trouble."
An image of the Communication Hub appeared in his mind.
And it was soon followed by Garnet glaring right at Pearl.
"Yeah."
He did not like remembering that night.
"I take it that whatever happened was not exactly pleasant."
That was an understatement.
"No, it wasn't. Do you know what fusion is?"
"Is that what you and Connie did when you faced off against those creatures from the sea and that orange woman? If my memory serves right, you two combine to form a whole new person. It was quite fascinating to watch."
"Yeah, that's it. Usually, it can only be done with other Gems, but since I'm half-human, I could fuse with Connie, a full-human."
He glanced to the side. He really didn't like talking about that day. He hated remembering how Garnet had become even more stoic than usual. Hated how fearful he had gotten whenever Pearl and Garnet were in the same room. How he was afraid they would start fighting at any moment.
"When Gems fuse, they're still inside the fusion. The people who made up the new person don't just fade away. Their always a part of the fusion."
"Sort of like Dragon Ball."
Though Mr. Araki muttered those words, he could still hear them. He stopped talking as his eyebrows furrowed.
"What?"
"Nothing. Please continue."
Okay...
"The people who made up the fusion can feel everything the fusion does. They can feel the warmth flowing through their bodies. Feel the new powers that seem like they've always had them. They become connected to the other person. It's like you...become the other person."
He was drawing on his own experiences and what the Gems had described to him when they fused. He could still remember the day he fused with Connie. It was on that day that he learned why Garnet always stayed fused.
Fusion was something special. It made him feel connected to Connie in ways he never thought were possible. It made him feel stronger than he had ever felt before.
...And that was the main reason why Pearl did what she did.
"Pearl loves fusing. She loves the feeling of power she gets when she fuses with someone. She loves the warmth that you get whenever you combine with another person. When she fuses, she's more powerful than she's ever been. She's a new being that has limitless possibilities. When she's a fusion she feel's... Strong."
He really did see why Pearl wanted to do what she did.
But still, it didn't make what she did any less...underhanded.
"And one of Pearl's more powerful fusions is a gem called Sardonyx."
"I hate to interrupt, but I'm rather curious as to what the fusion with you and Connie is called?"
"Oh, that would be Stevonnie."
"...Stevonnie?"
"You know. Steven and Connie together... Stevonnie."
"Ahh, I see."
Mr. Araki rubbed a finger underneath his chin.
"Please, let's get back to Pearl."
He let out a sigh.
This was going to stink.
"Pearl...really liked turning into Sardonyx. She liked it so much that she...tricked Garnet, the other Gem that made up Sardonyx, into fusing with her. And...she did it a couple of times."
He paused, and after a few seconds of silence, Mr. Araki spoke.
"I take it Ms. Garnet was not very happy when she found out she was being deceived."
No. No she was not.
The glare she gave Pearl once again flashed through his mind.
"Yeah. She was really angry at her. She felt...she didn't really tell me how exactly she felt, but I could see she was really broken up about it. She was hurt by how Pearl had...betrayed her."
He looked down.
Really, when he said it all out loud, it sounded a lot worse than he remembered. It sounded so awful when he summarized what had happened on that day. He had thought about what Pearl had done before, but hearing the words leave his lips only made him feel that her acts were...crueler than he had first realized.
"When you fuse, is it safe to say that the process is rather...intimate?"
"Yeah. You're experiencing a whole new set of feelings that belong to both you and the person your fusing with. Intimates really the best way to describe it."
"And is it safe to say that Ms. Pearl knew that Ms. Garnet would be rather cross with her should she learn that she was being tricked."
He saw there was something lying beneath Mr. Araki's words. Something that made him pause before answering; something that made his heart beat a little faster. He felt worry slowly twist his chest as he looked into the blonde businessman's eyes.
They were the same purple color as before. But for one moment, he thought he saw...something appear in them, if only for a moment.
"Ye-Yeah, she knew."
Mr. Araki paused for a moment.
"So let me see if I understand the situation correctly."
He adjusted his tie.
"Ms. Pearl manipulated Ms. Garnet. Someone who was her friend, someone who would have helped her through her inferiority issues if she had voiced them previously, for her own benefit. She constructed a false scenario just to get close to Ms. Garnet, to get her to fuse because Ms. Pearl knew she would never agree otherwise."
And he thought his words sounded bad.
He could feel himself wince the moment those words left Mr. Araki's mouth. His stomach filled with dread; A pain began to spread to every corner of his body. His breath hitched in his throat as he could not look away from Mr. Araki's gaze.
"She knew that Ms. Garnet would be mad at her for such an act, but ignored her feelings and proceeded to trick her dear friend without a care in the world."
His fear was now gripping his throat. It made him unable to tune out Mr. Araki's words. It forced him to listen to the blonde businessman even though he did not want to.
That...that wasn't...Mr. Araki didn't have...
"Ms. Pearl choose to trick Ms. Garnet simply because she wanted to feel better about herself."
No...that...he wasn't...
"You're not being fair!"
He wasn't shouting this time. The pain he felt rising within his body would not let him. But he did raise his voice, if only slightly.
"Pearl... Pearl might have done that, but you're making her sound like some kind of...bad guy."
Mr. Araki furrowed his brows.
"Was anything I said inaccurate?"
"No, but-."
"Then what is the problem?"
"You're making it sound like Pearl didn't feel bad about it! You're making it sound like she didn't feel guilty or sorry about what she had done!"
Yeah... Pearl felt bad about it. She might have tricked Garnet, but that was only because she felt like such a waste of space that she just wanted to feel strong. Even if it only lasted for a moment.
"Pearl made a mistake. We all do that. But she had reasons for doing what she did. She just wanted to stop feeling so down...she just wanted to feel strong."
His voice had lost a little of its firmness near the end, but he felt like he made his point. Pearl wasn't some jerk who would play with people's emotions. She was a part of his family.
She loved him. She made mistakes, but that didn't matter. She was his family.
"So you're saying it was perfectly okay for Ms. Pearl to do what she did simply because she "felt bad" about her actions?"
Mr. Araki narrowed his eyes.
"No. I'm saying that her actions were bad, but it wasn't like they weren't understandable. She just wanted to feel like she wasn't weak. And she realized her mistakes and learned from them. Like any person should do."
"Really? She's hasn't hurt someone because of her inferiority issues ever since then? Or hasn't done a similar act in the past?"
"No, she hasn-."
Why won't you just let me do this for you Rose!
Dang it!
He flinched. Badly.
Why...why did he have to think about...that.
"Steven?"
He knew his expression had become sullen. He could feel the weight of his misery on his face.
Dang it...why was his own brain betraying him? Why was it making him hear those awful words Pearl had said back then.
"Steven, has Pearl done something similar to what she did to Ms. Garnet before?"
He could not look up.
"...Yes."
"And I take it by your reaction that she hurt you in some way."
"Yeah."
It still hurt remembering that time.
"What happened?"
He let out a shaky sigh.
"Pearl... Pearl started to train Connie in sword fighting. Connie wanted to get stronger. She wanted to help me whenever I fight against a... Corrupted Gem or something like that."
He had never said the words "Corrupted Gem" with such anger before. He had never heard such disdain in his voice from just saying two words.
He let out a shaky breath before continuing.
"Pearl was a really good teacher. She taught Connie so much in months. Course, Connie was a really good student. She had gotten so good I thought she had been training for years."
Though there were some days when...
"But Pearl had also been teaching Connie...other things."
Some days when he wished...
"What do you mean by that, Steven?"
"... I mean Pearl...made Connie think she was nothing."
He glanced at the floor. He hated remembering how...how... eager Connie was to throw her life away without a second thought. It was why...he sometimes wished she had never agreed to become Pearl's disciple.
Because Pearl had turned his best friend into nothing more than a tool. It was like she enjoyed making people feel the same way she-.
No. Stop it. She was Pearl. The woman who raised him. He shouldn't think like that.
"How exactly did she do that, Steven?"
He let out another heavy sigh.
"She... She kept telling her that she was nothing more than my tool. She made her throw away her self-worth...for me."
"For you?"
Mr. Araki furrowed his brows.
"Why would she do that?"
"Because...because she thought that Connie...needed to throw her life away for me. She thought that Connie needed to think she was nothing but a weapon for me to use. She kept telling Connie that she had to be willing to sacrifice herself for me."
Disgust rose within his stomach. He could hear it slip into his voice as it festered and grew. He did not want to feel so revolted. He understood why Pearl did what she did...but he still couldn't believe the ivory Gem thought it was perfectly fine for her to teach his friend she was worthless. To teach her that her life wasn't important.
He glanced at the ground.
"She thought that Connie was like a miniature version of herself. She thought that it would be best for Connie to think she wasn't even a person..."
"Why won't you just let me do this for you Rose!"
Why couldn't he block out those words? Why did he have to keep hearing them?
His hands were in tight fists.
"She thought that me and Connie's relationship should be the same as what she had with my mom. Or at least, what she thought was the same relationship."
Calm down.
He...he wasn't thinking right. Pearl...Pearl messed up big time. There was no doubt about that. But she regretted it. It was a mistake.
But...It still hurt to think about that. It hurt how his friend had gained a lifeless look in her eyes.
And it hurt how she called him-.
"Steven was your mother's relationship with Ms. Pearl a good one?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
"Because, unless I'm misunderstanding you, your mother made Pearl feel like she was nothing."
He once again winced. He...was uncomfortable talking about Pearl and his mother's...Past.
"Well... Kinda. Rose made Pearl feel...good. When she was with my mom, Pearl was happy. Happier than she'd ever been before. My mom treated her as an equal. As someone she respected. As someone who she valued as a...friend."
Though, from how Pearl had described Rose, it sounded like they were something...more.
"Pearl had never experienced kindness like that before. So she thought that the only way to pay my mom back would be to act as her weapon. She wanted to help my mom even if meant her destruction."
"And she taught such a philosophy to Ms. Connie."
He paused for a moment.
"Yeah."
"Steven, it sounds like Ms. Pearl projected herself quite a bit onto Ms. Connie."
"She did."
"And did she perhaps do something similar to you?"
He twitched.
"Steven?"
He...he couldn't hold anything back. He needed to be open.
No matter what.
"Yeah. She has."
"What exactly has she done to you?"
He glanced at the bench. He wanted to do nothing but stare at the blue planks of wood. He did not want to have to talk.
But Mr. Araki assured him that this would help.
"She... She sometimes..."
He bit his lower lip.
"She sometimes... Calls me Rose."
Mr. Araki did not respond immediately. Instead, the blonde businessman just stared at him with his purple eyes. His expression was...different. To him it was emotionless. Completely blank as he continued to look at him without saying a word. Mr. Araki looked so different than before. When exactly had his expression changed so much?
"She calls you by your mother's name?"
"Yes."
"How often does she do that?"
"Not that often anymore."
"But she has called you by your mother's name in the past?"
"...Yes."
"So before, is it safe to say she called you by her mother's name more than your own?"
"No. She didn't call me "Rose" that much in the past."
But sometimes it felt like she did.
"So, she taught Ms. Connie to get rid of her self-esteem because she thought that was what your friend wanted."
His eyes narrowed.
"And she also taught her such a mindset because she thought Connie was a younger version of herself."
He looked right into his purple pupils. And there was something there. Something he couldn't identify.
"And she thought that you were Rose Quartz. Except, she seemed to literally believe you were her."
His eyebrows furrowed together. The blond businessman looked towards his stomach.
"And only a short time after this event, she also manipulated Ms. Garnet?"
He slowly nodded his head. He did not want to speak.
"So, what you are telling me is that after essentially turning your best friend into a mindless slave, she also emotionally manipulated her close friend?"
A new pain rose within him. He could feel it slowly constricting the rest of his body. It was even colder than before.
"Even though she did something similar to Ms. Connie, she proceeded to do the same thing again. She constantly does what she thinks is the best or what she wants. Never considering other people's feelings."
No. That wasn't right. She wasn't like that.
Yet... why did he feel so much pain in his chest with each word that left Mr. Araki's lips?
"It's as though she doesn't care about their feelings."
That wasn't right! She did care. He knew that. She had to. She wasn't like what Mr. Araki was saying.
Yet, even though he knew that wasn't true, he could feel doubt crawling within his chest.
"Tha-That's not right."
Why did his voice sound so weak to him? Why was there barely any confidence in his words?
"She... She just made a mistake. People make mistakes. No one's perfect."
"So you're saying we should praise Ms. Pearl for her mistakes? Praise her for emotionally manipulating her close friend as well as your best friend?"
"No I-...that's not..."
His words were failing him. He could barely get out a sentence without stuttering.
But he needed to. Pearl... Pearl was kind, nice, loving. She wasn't manipulative.
"You're twisting my words!"
He once again hardened his voice. There were no traces of his earlier stuttering.
"Steven, you seem to be misunderstanding something."
Mr. Araki's expression changed in an instant. The warm kindness from before had returned. Another smile that radiated with care crossed his lips. He could see the benevolence glowing from within his purple eyes as they stared into his own.
He found himself scooting backward on the bench. But he did not know why.
"I am not trying to make your guardians sound like cruel people. I am simply interpreting what you have said about them as best as I can. If you believe I am wrong, then by all means, tell me so."
His smile began to turn into a small frown. The benevolence slowly disappeared from his expression.
"But you also must understand that what you have said so far has been... troubling, to put it lightly. I hope you can see why exactly I would be drawn to some rather uncomfortable conclusions after what you've been telling me."
He glanced at the bench. He did not want to admit it...but Mr. Araki had a point. When he replayed everything he had just told him, it did sound kinda cruel. Like Pearl was some kind of manipulator. Like the Gems had in fact chosen to keep Lapis trapped in a mirror.
But...but Pearl wasn't mean. And the other Gems would never keep someone trapped like that for so long.
"I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to snap at you."
"It's perfectly alright Steven. But why don't we get back on track?"
"Okay."
"Now then, let's take a step back. Can you please go into a bit more depth of Ms. Pearl's relationship with your mother?"
He raised a brow. He thought he had already explained Pearl and his mom's past.
"Well, like I said, Pearl really idealized my mom. She spent hundreds of years fighting by her side."
Mr. Araki raised a brow.
"Are you sure "idealized" is the right word to use?"
He suddenly coudln't keep eye contact with Mr. Araki as he glanced at the bench.
"Ye-yeah. I mean, she basically...worshiped her. She would do anything for Rose if she asked her to."
"Yes, but, do you think there was something...more, to their relationship."
He glanced to the side. Why... Why did he suddenly want to stop talking? It was a simple question, and it had an equally simple answer.
Yet... He found his mouth clamp shut.
"Steven?"
"I... I'm not sure what you mean."
Mr. Araki furrowed his eyebrows.
"I think you do, Steven."
Mr. Araki moved a little closer to him. He wanted to move away, but he found his body locked in place.
"Tell me, Steven..."
Why did he feel so much fear right now? Why did his mouth feel so dry?
His blood felt as cold as ice as Mr. Araki spoke.
"Did Ms. Pearl love your mother?"
...He really should have expected this question. But his breath was taken away the moments those words left Mr. Araki's lips.
Rose Quartz and love were two things that seemed to go hand in hand. Garnet and Amethyst loved her from like they had all been one big family. His dad loved her from the bottom of his heart and just wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
But for Pearl...her love was different. It seemed almost like an...obsession.
"...Do you mean if she loved her as more than just a friend."
"Yes."
He was about to reveal one of his guardians most precious secrets. Something that she had tried to hide for years. Something she had never once even bothered talking to him about.
Not that it mattered. He had always known whenever she talked about her fallen leader. The way she smiled. The way her eyes would light up. The way she cried.
It was obvious.
"...Yeah. Pearl loved Rose Quartz."
It felt...strange to admit that out loud. The pain within him had stopped growing for a moment. The coldness that had surrounded his body faded slightly.
Why did saying that make him feel better? It was the same when he admitted the Gems kept secret. His pain and the coldness gripping his body had decreased than as well. But why?
"She loved her very deeply I take it."
"Yeah, she did."
"So much so that she confused your relationship with Connie to her own? Thus leading to her teaching Connie such a harmful philosophy?"
"Yeah."
He often wondered what his mother's response was to Pearl's self-sacrificing nature. Did she try to convince Pearl to abandon such a mindset? Surely she must have noticed. There was no way she couldn't have. Pearl had a song memorized about her devotion to Rose Quartz.
But what if she did notice and just...didn't care? What if she allowed Pearl to develop such a mindset because it was beneficial to her?
Because that way she'd always have a pawn she-.
What the heck was he thinking? Those...those thoughts weren't his own. They were far darker than any ideas he had ever had about his mom. He had thought she might have shattered Pink Diamond, but he never thought she'd ever been so cruel to her friends. He had never once considered she would do something almost equally horrible to her family.
And now he couldn't get rid of those ideas. Rose Quartz kept secrets... But would she do something so cruel to someone who loved her?
"So, before she had you, she was in a...heated, relationship with Ms. Pearl."
He did not know exactly what Araki meant by "heated..."but he had a rather good guess.
"Not really. Pearl loved Rose, but Rose...I'm not sure she ever felt the same."
It was a bit troubling to say this out loud. He thought that Pearl would appear at any moment and be shocked to hear him tell someone all of these precious secrets.
But he was being paranoid. And he needed to tell Mr. Araki everything.
"Did Ms. Pearl ever tell your mother how she felt?"
He did not know. Pearl had never told him that.
He felt his eyes narrow slightly. But he shook his head as he let out a sigh.
"I don't know. She never told me if she did. But I don't think she would have confessed her feelings. She's kinda...private about that stuff."
Mr. Araki seemed to take a moment to think.
"Do you think your mother knew how Ms. Pearl felt?"
He blinked.
Did she know? She had been with Pearl for years. Pearl had fought alongside her in the war. She was always by Rose's side.
And they had fused.
Could Rose really have not felt Pearl's love whenever they turned into Rainbow Quartz? Did she not see how much Pearl enjoyed fusing with her? And even without fusing, she should have noticed.
If he could notice, someone who would freely admit was bad at reading people, then surely she would have noticed.
Unless she didn't care.
"I-I don't think she did."
He had to stop thinking like that. After everything, the Gems told him about his mom-
I saw the leader of the Crystal Gems Ro-
Stop it! Stop thinking about that. Stop remembering the things the Rubies told him. That stuff didn't matter.
He was shaking slightly.
"So, her love went unrequited."
"Ye-Yeah."
"Steven, may I ask if Ms. Pearl's love for Rose has ever caused you any other problems."
An image of his dad appeared in front of him.
And it was quickly followed by an image of Pearl in a suit singing on a balcony.
"Yeah, it has."
He had only recently noticed, but before Pearl and his Dad had gone with him to Empire City, their relationship was...strained, to put it lightly. It was only now that he realized the bitterness Pearl had about his dad marrying her leader. That she was still angry at the fact that Rose had chosen him and not her.
And that resentment had led to them not really talking to each other for years to come.
"She wasn't exactly on the best terms with my dad because of it."
"I can imagine."
"She was bitter that Rose had fallen in love with my dad instead of her. She was-."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah."
"Did Ms. Pearl ever fight with your father?"
"I don't think so. At least, not in front of me."
"Does Ms. Pearl still resent your father?"
"No."
They had worked through their differences. He had seen how relieved their faces were as they drove back to Beach City. They were happy that they had finally gotten over their issues.
That he knew for a fact.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm positive."
He saw Mr. Araki raise an eyebrow.
He did not like that.
"Wha-What is it?"
"It's just, after everything you've told me, I hope you'll forgive me, but I found it a little hard to believe Ms. Pearl is no longer in love with your mother."
He felt cold again.
"Well, she is."
His voice suddenly rose with anger. What Mr. Araki said shouldn't have made him feel so annoyed, but for some reason, it did. Even he knew he was being kinda defensive about a simple statement.
"Well, if she is, then why did she confuse you for your own mother?"
That question made his breathing come to a stop.
"That does not sound like someone who has moved on."
"I told you she hasn't done that in a while!"
He raised his voice. He wasn't quite shouting, but he was very close to doing so. The anger in his voice had grown. He could hear it burn within his words. Could feel it blaze throughout his body. He knew that he was slowly losing his control. He knew that he getting angry would not solve anything.
But right now he did not care.
Mr. Araki's words brought up memories he hated. Of the times Pearl had accidentally called him "Rose." Of the longing looks that she had on whenever she went on about how much of an amazing leader she was. Of the sadness that would always end up swirling in her expression when she finished speaking about how the person she loved was gone.
And every time this happened, he had always felt guilt swallow his stomach. There would always be a toxic feeling in his heart whenever Pearl went on and on about Rose. His misery would grip at his throat, and he would instantly be reminded that he wasn't the legendary leader of the Crystal Gems.
And Pearl never even seemed to consider that one simple fact.
"So you honestly believe she is completely over your mother."
Why did he keep asking him the same question?! The answer wouldn't change! If Pearl said she wasn't in love with his mom, then she-.
Another image appeared in his mind.
And this one made all his anger fade away into nothing. And it made his eyes widen.
He saw a girl. A girl whose name he did not know. A girl Pearl had shown an interest in dating.
A girl who shared similarities to Rose.
If she wasn't still in love with his mom...why was it that she went after someone who looked so similar?
"By your expression, it looks like you've realized something."
She said she was ready to move on. He had believed that she was being honest. Pearl said it wasn't because of the pink haired girl's looks that she was interested in her.
But then why was she interested in the mysterious biker? What exactly did Pearl see in her?
Well, it was obvious, wasn't it?
She saw the same thing in her that she saw in him.
Rose Quartz.
"No."
His voice was as quiet as a whisper.
She told him she was over his mom. He had seen her and his dad work out their issues.
"Steven?"
"She... She wouldn't do that... She wouldn't-."
She wouldn't what? Lie to him? By now he should have realized that Pearl was an expert at lying to him. At keeping secrets from him.
His hands gripped his pants.
"Steven, what did Ms. Pearl do?"
Mr. Araki somehow made him speak. Even though he wanted to just be silent, the businessman's words almost forced his mouth to open. There was something inside his voice that made him feel the need to speak.
"Pearl... Pearl started liking a human...a human that looked almost exactly like my mom."
Mr. Araki did not respond. Instead, his purple eyes looked towards his hands that were currently gripping his pants in a death grip.
"I take it you can see the problem with this?"
"Yeah."
He never really considered just how suspicious it was for Pearl to suddenly take an interested in a human. He had pointed it out before, and even Amethyst had agreed with him, but Pearl assured them that was not it.
But then, why on earth did she suddenly find the mystery girl so attractive?
He couldn't figure out the answer.
"Steven, may I give you my opinion as to why Ms. Pearl likes another human?"
Mr. Araki's calm voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"I... sure."
Yeah, that sounded fine. He could sort out all his confusing thoughts if he had someone else's perspective on his guardian. Mr. Araki was a smart man, and he had told him a lot about Pearl. He should be able to figure out her reason easily.
"Thank you."
He adjusted his tie.
"I believe the reason why Ms. Pearl likes this human is because..."
Mr. Araki paused. He thought there was hesitance in the man's expression. But why-?
"Is because she is not a good person."
...What?
"And frankly, I believe that she isn't fit to raise you."
That... He couldn't have heard that. There was no way Mr. Araki actually said that.
"I'm sorry Steven, I am just telling you what I honestly believe."
"What?!"
This time he was shouting.
"I-I can't...why would you say that?!"
He could hear his voice cracking. Could hear the raw emotion within it. He had never once heard his own words sound so confused and angry in his life. The pain inside him had grown worse. Colder. The bewilderment and fear in his stomach had begun to mix and spread throughout his body. It left a nauseous taste in his mouth. Like he was about to vomit.
"Steven... Ask yourself this."
Mr. Araki narrowed his eyes. His purple pupils to him looked almost...menacing.
"Do you think Pearl is a good person?"
The coldness within him choked his throat.
"What?"
"You heard what I said, Steven. Do you think from the bottom of your heart that Pearl is someone you would consider a good person?"
"Of course!"
"Really? Because to me, I just see the same selfish woman who has hurt her family over and over again."
Those words slammed into his gut. He could feel all of his breath being sucked away. He had never heard anyone speak about Pearl like that. Never once had anyone ever called her "selfish." Jasper and Peridot only called her names and insults because she was a Pearl. In their eyes, she was inferior.
But Mr. Araki didn't say these words based on his prejudices. He just genuinely did not seem to like Pearl. Which shocked him, since the man across from him was so kind and caring.
But now he was different. Now, to him, there was something off about Mr. Araki.
"How can you say that?!"
But he didn't care. Right now, someone he loved was getting insulted. Pearl was about as far from selfish as possible.
"She isn't selfish! She's one of the kindest people I've ever met! She's always there for me! She loves-."
"Then why is it she always projects her issues onto you."
He stopped talking.
Mr. Araki's words brought up memories. Very unpleasant memories. Times when Pearl had called him Rose. Instances where she would sometimes look at his stomach instead of his face.
And that one time...she glared at him.
Right before he fell down and almost plummeted to his death. He suddenly began to relive that falling sensation. It was like he could not control any part of his body. Like all he could do was fall down and down. All he could do was wait for his fall to end.
"Let us go over some of the things you have told me about Pearl. Due to her inferiority complex, she has constantly projected her guilt and anguish onto other people. You seem to be the most common target.
"That's-."
"And because of this mindset, she has hurt people. Some of them were your friends and others your family. All so she could feel better about herself or relive a happier moment in her life."
"I-I don't... That's not-."
"Before you told me how she was over her complex now. Yet the evidence you have shown me here begs to differ. If she were truly over it, then why is she now currently interested in a human?"
"I... I... Well-"
"The only reason I can see is that she wants to be loved by someone she knows is inferior to her. Someone who is weaker to her both physically and emotionally. She wants to be the one in power now."
"You don't-."
"And as an added bonus, she gets to have her love with someone who is an almost perfect replica of your mother. She now has the opportunity to relive the love she was denied all those years-."
"SHUT UP!"
Something snapped.
He was standing on top of the bench. He had moved in an instant. Both hands were now grabbing Mr. Araki's suit and brought the taller man down to his level. The business man's face was now only inches away from his.
He saw that his eyes were noticeably duller than before. Any traces warmth and kindness were gone.
But he didn't really care about that.
Right now all he knew was anger.
"You're wrong!"
He was snarling. Something he had never once done in his life. Something he always seen other people do. Something he never thought himself capable of doing before.
But now here he was.
Jasper was the most common person to snarl and growl in front of him. She was incredibly intimidating whenever she even glared at someone. So her snarls only made her all the more terrifying.
And right now he felt like his snarl could rival her's.
No, wait, that wasn't right.
For right now, his roar was even scarier than hers.
"You...you...jerk! Pearl is the kindest most respectable person I know! She constantly battle's creatures from her world to save people's lives! She always stands up whenever the going gets tough! She's grown and moved past issues a lot of people could never do!"
Rage. That was the only word to describe what he was feeling right now. He could feel it ignite from the bottom of his soul. Could feel it light up his body in violent flames. Right now he wanted to see the man across from him regret ever saying such horrible things
And had yet to even bat an eye. He almost looked bored. His eyes were half open and they just stared into his own pupils. He could not tell what the man was thinking. And that only made his fury even worse. He wanted to see this man at the very least acknowledge-.
"If she's grown as a person, then why does she keep repeating the same mistakes?"
Those words were spoken in a calm voice. It was eerily quiet. For some reason, it unsettled him.
But it was only for a moment.
For his rage once again exploded within him.
"She doesn't!"
His grip got tighter.
Mr. Araki still didn't blink.
"You've just told me that after manipulating Ms. Connie, she manipulated her close friend just so she could feel better about herself."
"That's only twice! She's only made mistakes like that twice!"
"The fact that's its happened twice is far from a good thing, Steven."
He let out another growl. This one sounded like it belonged to Lion.
"That still doesn't mean she isn't learning from her mistakes! Her fears and doubts aren't just gonna disappear within months! It takes time!"
"And in that time it's perfectly okay for her to get away with actions? That it's okay for her to make similar mistakes down the road? Mistakes that could hurt you, but so long as she learns from them, that makes it fine? Even though she has had years to sort out these issues with her teammates and is only now doing something about it?"
He had never wanted someone to shut their mouth so badly before. He had never wanted so badly for one man to stop talking.
Never once did he think he'd ever have to punch a human and not a Gem.
"At least she's trying to become a better person! At least she knows she made mistakes! She doesn't want to keep hurting her family! She knows she messed up and-!"
"Tell me Steven has she ever once apologized for shoving her doubts and insecurities into your family and friends' faces?"
The man had interrupted him.
That no good lousy-!
"Of course she's apologized! She said she was sorry to Garnet after the whole fusion fiasco! She apologized to Amethyst for making her feel like dirt! She-."
"What about you?"
He looked at the man. The man who still had yet to blink. The man who still had yet to raise his voice. The blonde businessman who still had not even one sign of fear or anger in his expression.
There was just nothing. Almost like the man wasn't feeling anything at the moment.
That... disturbed him more than he cared to admit.
"What?"
Purple eyes narrowed to slits. He only now noticed just how icy his pupils were. How the man who they belonged to now looked...dangerous.
"I said, has she ever apologized to you for making you feel like it's your fault your mother is gone?"
Those words made him loosen his hold on Mr. Araki.
Regret began to flood his body. He could feel his anger fighting to remain in his body. Could feel the flames try to withstand the storm of his guilt.
But it was a losing battle.
Sorrow swirled within him. It was cold; like an iceberg had just settled into his stomach. He could feel it bite into his very soul.
"What?"
There wasn't even an ember of the fury that once raged within him left in his voice. Because any anger left in his body had just been swept away by misery.
"I... I never said I felt like that."
Mr. Araki's eyes seemed to soften. He wouldn't have noticed usually, but since they were so close it was impossible to miss.
"You didn't have to. It's obvious how Pearl has made you feel Steven."
He wanted to deny that. He wanted to scream at the man and tell him how wrong he was.
But he couldn't.
For he felt all of his strength leave him.
"She calls you Rose. She constantly makes you feel miserable by reminiscing about times when your mother was alive. She knows that you didn't ask to be born, yet she still blames you, doesn't she?"
He remembered the glare she gave him when he just wanted to find out why she was bothered by Lion having Rose's scabbard.
She didn't even have to say anything. The glare made her message as clear as day.
Her problem was that he existed.
Sure, she loved him. Sure she kept praising him constantly. She always insisted that his mother would be proud of him.
But he did not miss how she still sent longing looks to the painting in the Beach House. Even though she said, in her own words, she was over Rose.
"She still hasn't even considered how you feel. How it must be agonizing for someone to help the person who is supposed to take care of them. She says she's over her issues yet, in reality, someone else always has to help her through it. Even if that someone feels nothing but sorrow because said issues always leave a hole in his heart."
So many times did he feel pain whenever Pearl talked about Rose. It was like a stab to his heart. To him, it was clear as day that Pearl desperately wished Rose was still there. He always wanted to help people in need. And when he helped Pearl with things like her inferiority problems, he saw that her issues always seemed to come back to Rose Quartz. And because of that, whenever he tried to help her he was constantly reminded about Rose Quartz and how she was no longer in this world.
Because of him.
"And she doesn't even realize how much she hurts you."
He let go of Mr. Araki.
He tried to ignore his feelings. He tried to be strong for Pearl. To be there for her when she needed help. But... it was hard. Really hard. Hearing her talk about Rose in vague details. Listening to her tell him how she was the epitome of a leader. It always made him feel awful. Even though he wanted to know more, he didn't ask because he knew he would only get more vague answers.
And also because he was scared those answers might make him realize just how inadequate he truly was. Even when she was vague, Pearl always made it sound like Rose was someone he could never be.
And she never seemed to notice how much her words stung him. Somehow, she was blind to his turmoil. She never noticed how he felt about his own mother.
She always seemed to be focused on just...her problems.
"Tell me, have you ever once told her how you feel whenever she goes on and on about Rose?"
It took him a moment to find the answer to that.
"No."
Maybe that was why she never noticed. Because he had yet to open up? Yeah, that would-.
"Steven, are you thinking that Pearl not realizing your distress is somehow your fault?"
...How did he know that?
He found himself unable to look up.
"This is not your fault. It is not right to think that just because Pearl has not noticed your obvious turmoil it is somehow your fault. As your guardian, she should see when one of her own family members is distressed."
Mr. Araki could tell what he was thinking. A man he had barely known was able to easily figure out what he was feeling.
So...why couldn't Pearl? Because she really didn't focus on anything but her own issues? Because she was still not over the death of Rose, even when it happened so many years ago? Because she didn't care?
Because she wasn't a good person?
"She...She's saved Beach City. She's saved the world."
He had to be wrong. There was no way she could be a selfish person.
But...why couldn't he stop thinking about all the times she had hurt his friends and family. About the times she made him feel like he was...
Inferior.
...Like her.
Could... Could she have done that on purpose?
"How can someone who saves the world be a bad person?"
That sounded impossible. How could someone who risked their life to save so many people possibly be bad? Especially someone like Pearl. Someone who had saved his own life so many times.
"You'd be surprised. There a plenty of people throughout history who have arguably saved the world. But some of them are as far from 'good people' as imaginable."
He looked up.
Mr. Araki wasn't looking at him. Instead, he seemed to be looking straight ahead.
"Just because people do something most would consider 'just' or 'kind' does not mean the motivation for doing so is the same. There are plenty of selfish people who would do good if it meant their lives would improve."
He felt like Mr. Araki was directing his words at Pearl. He did not say anything in response.
It confused him greatly. If bad people did good things, then didn't that mean they had some good in them? He had met people before who started off as bad but they had changed.
Centi and... Peridot came to his mind.
One was a corrupted Gem and the other was a mechanic from the world that wanted to destroy the Crystal Gems. They hadn't done a single good thing since he met them, but slowly, he was able to understand them. He had learned about their past. He learned what they cared about. He learned that they weren't the bad people the Gems seemed to think they were.
Which now that he thought about, they seemed to do a lot.
Pearl more so than the others.
He felt cold again.
The...the point was that even bad people could be good. He had managed to turn enemies into allies. He had been able to convince an angry green Gem to become a protector of the world. He had reunited a lost soldier back with the only friends left on this planet.
So surely if a bad person had done some good in the past, then they to should be able to become a good person. Right?
"Pearl might save the planet, but tell me Steven, after reviewing every deed she's done in your mind, do you think she's not selfish?"
He wanted to deny that. He was screaming at himself to say just one word. This was Pearl. She...she wasn't bad. She wasn't selfish.
But memories flashed through his mind. All the times Pearl hurt him when she called him "Rose." The times when she manipulated Connie and Garnet. The times when she stared into that painting of Rose on the wall.
He felt his heart twist. His body had become colder.
And no words left his lips.
"I believe the reason why you haven't told Pearl about who your feeling is because you don't feel like she would be able to understand your issues. That her own inferiority problems and love of Rose blind her from being able to help you."
He...he didn't want to believe that was the reason. But...a part of him...a part whose voice was slowly getting louder, couldn't help but agree.
He suddenly felt scared.
"Do... Do you really think Pearl's a bad person?"
"After seeing the damage she has done, I can't help but say yes."
He shouldn't even be listening to Mr. Araki right now. He should be furious. He should be defending Pearl, the woman who raised and loved him.
But he wasn't.
More images appeared in his mind. Some were of Pearl as she trained Connie. Others were of her smiling as she told him he was getting better with his shield and that one day he'd be as good as his mother.
And once again he saw her on that beach the night Lapis was set free.
We would never do something like that Steven.
...He had never noticed before how Pearl's eyes glanced to the side as she said that. And how there was some kind of emotion within her expression, but what exactly it was he could not tell.
And that unknown emotion worried him. He could feel his anxiety flood his body. It felt like he could barely breathe.
"I think you should tell me about your other guardians now. Hopefully, they haven't done anything like Pearl has done in the past."
Mr. Araki had moved so that his back was now leaning against the arm of the bench.
"I... Sure."
There would be no point in trying to deny him.
And besides, there was no way they were-.
"Would you mind talking about the...short one with the purple skin."
Mr. Araki's words brought him out of his thoughts. That was good. He...He could sort them out later.
"Amethyst?"
"Yes."
"Well, she's different from the other Gems. She wasn't born on Homeworld, but here on earth."
"And how exactly was she born?"
"Well, during the war, Homeworld sent these...machines to Earth to create Gems. They inject the core components of a Gem into the ground and then it sucks out all the life around it. And after enough time has passed and enough nutrients are absorbed, a Gem pops out of the ground."
He had only learned this after Amethyst showed him the Kindergarten. Pearl had explained to him what exactly it was.
But he did not miss how much she hated having to talk about that place. He thought it was because that the Kindergarten brought up bad memories.
But now it was more likely because she was essentially forced to tell him something for once. That was one secret she couldn't keep hidden any longer.
He felt his doubts once again slithering within his stomach.
"She...she joined the Crystal Gems after they found her in this place called the Kindergarten. It's where a lot of Gems like her were born. She came out later than the others so she was the only one there."
"Do you know what happened to the other Gems who were also born there?"
"I... I think they died in the Gem War."
"You think?"
"... Pearl and Garnet never told me what happened to other Gems that were there. But I think that's what most likely happened."
He had thought about the Kindergarten and the Gems that once lived there before. He imagined what had happened to them during the fight against the Crystal Gems.
Sometimes he imagined Rose Quartz...shattering one of them.
He tried not to. He tried to tell himself that Rose wouldn't do it. That Pearl and Garnet wouldn't let her.
But recently, ever since he learned about Pink Diamond, he was having trouble believing Rose hadn't only shattered one of the tyrants from Homeworld.
He hated himself for thinking such thoughts, but the doubt engulfing his mind would not allow him to throw out these ideas.
"So, what exactly is Ms. Amethyst like?"
"She's...funny. Always telling jokes even when stuff gets serious. And she almost always says whatever's on her mind."
"Would you say Ms. Amethyst is impulsive?"
"Yeah. In some ways anyway."
"Could you give me an example?"
"One time she ate a bunch of chum we happened to find near the docks. When I asked her why she said she wanted to see if 'there was a reason why all fish like this crud.' She said it wasn't bad."
He expected maybe a small chuckle. Or perhaps a raised eyebrow at the purple Gem's antics.
The emotionless expression Mr. Araki had on was a reaction he hadn't expected. He once again felt uncomfortable under the man's gaze.
"That's rather... Colorful."
He let out a tiny cough.
"Yeah, she is. But most of the time when she acts crazy, it's just too..."
He paused.
He once again thought about what he was about to say. Revealing another of his guardian's secrets to someone outside of their family. But this time he found himself more willing to talk then when he told Mr. Araki about Pearl's secrets.
"It's to distract herself from...hating herself."
Mr. Araki raised a brow.
And for some reason that...bothered him.
"And why does she hate herself?"
"Because she feels like she was...a mistake."
He took in a breath.
"She feels like she was born weaker than other Gems because she stayed underground too long. She's always thought that she wasn't as good as Garnet or Pearl."
It didn't exactly help that Pearl had only recently realized just how damaged Amethyst was. And it only took her a few centuries to see. Was that how long it would take for her to realize his own issues?
He could once again feel how resentful his thoughts were. But this time, he found himself a lot less willing to stop them.
"So, two of your family members have inferiority complexes?"
"Well...kinda, I guess."
He couldn't focus on those thoughts. They were talking about Amethyst, not Pearl.
"She's gotten over it though."
"Didn't you say the same thing about Pearl?"
He flinched at those blunt words.
"Yeah. But, this time I'm positive."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because we fused."
Fusion. The experience that let him get to know Amethyst in ways he never thought possible. When they had turned into Smokey Quartz, he could feel all her pain. He could feel all the hatred she directed at herself. The isolation she always felt was cold enough to make him shiver, even though at the time he technically didn't have a body.
And when they had fused, he could feel her sadness, her anger, and her misery fade away.
"Like I said, fusion allows you to feel what the other person's feeling. And I could feel her doubts and self-loathing die down when we fused into Smokey Quartz. That's our fusion name."
"So, you didn't feel even an ounce of her insecurities left in her after you fused?"
He paused.
He thought back to when the moment he had fused with Amethyst. When they had turned into Smokey Quartz, he did feel her hatred for herself fade. He had felt how happy she was that he was there for her. That he would always be there for her. Becuase, in her words, worse Gems stick together.
But...he had felt something else. And what he felt was toxic. While the feeling was small, it was still there. He could feel it grip his throat. His vision had blurred and faded to black. It was only for a moment, but he felt something awful while fused with Smokey Quartz.
He hadn't really thought about what exactly it was he had felt until now.
"Well...maybe she's not completely over it."
Now he realized what he had felt were Amethyst's lingering insecurities. His words had helped, his actions had shown just how much he loved her, but her self-hatred was still there.
"So, Ms. Amethyst still continues to hate herself?"
"Yeah. But, not nearly as much as before. Now she has a lot more confidence in herself."
"But what about before she had gained more confidence? Did her self-loathing ever cause her to hurt you or your family like Pearl did?"
He remembered when she and his Dad were watching reruns of their favorite show.
And then he saw her shapeshifting into...
"Yeah, she has."
He could hear how quiet his voice had gotten. He never liked to think about that moment.
"What did she do?"
"She..."
He could almost see himself back in his dad's garage as he watched her transform.
"She turned into my mom."
Mr. Araki did not respond. He just stared at him with his purple eyes. And he saw the blond businessman's lip twitch. As if he wanted to frown, but seemed to be holding himself back.
"She turned into your dead mother?"
Just hearing it being said by another person made him wince.
"Yeah."
"...I'm sure I don't have to tell you how this makes Amethyst look, do I?"
He didn't have to. It was obvious how his words would paint Amethyst as someone who was selfish.
As someone who was a bad person.
"It...It sounds bad I know-."
"It doesn't just sound bad, it is bad."
He winced again. His eyes glanced at the floor.
"Why did she turn into your dead mother?"
"Because...she wanted to...get my dad to stay with her."
He did not hear the whole situation, but that seemed to be the reason. Neither his Dad or Amethyst ever told him the exact circumstances that led her to turn into Rose.
"To stay with him?"
"Yeah. She and my dad, they had started to hang out again. They hadn't really done that since Rose died."
Huh. Did he ever really admit that Rose was dead out loud before? He couldn't really think of a moment where he did. In fact, had any of the Gems ever said she was dead?
He let out a sigh.
"She didn't really have anyone to talk to back then. So when she and my Dad reconnected, she was scared it might end and she'd be alone again."
He could see Amethyst in his mind.
And then he saw her shapeshifting into Rose.
Before, when he thought about that moment, he only felt pain in his heart as he saw Amethyst with his mother's face. It became so much worse when he realized that seeing Amethyst turning into his mom would be the only time he would ever get to meet Rose Quartz in real life.
But this was the first time he felt...disgusted when remembering that day. He never felt so sick before when he remembered Rose's face and saw his Dad covering his ears and shutting his eyes.
And it was the first time in his life that he ever felt such revulsion directed towards Amethyst.
He bubbled those thoughts away.
He...he needed to continue.
"She and my dad hung out for days. They didn't even notice how much time passed. When my dad finally decided to leave and go back home, Amethyst wouldn't let him. So...so she turned into Rose."
He had heard her as he crawled through the heaps of assorted garbage his dad kept in his garage. At that point, he had never heard her sound so...cruel to anyone before. Now, he had heard her use the same tone on people like Jasper.
And to think she had treated his Dad like that. Like he was an enemy. Like he was the one at fault just because he wanted to leave and go return to his family.
It made him...angry.
"How exactly does this relate to her self-loathing issues?"
He looked up.
Purple eyes seemed to be drilling holes into him.
He swallowed.
"What?"
"While this event is horrible, I fail to see how exactly this relates to her hatred for herself."
Something seemed...wrong. He couldn't explain it, but there was something off about Mr. Araki's words.
He shook his head. He was imagining things. Mr. Araki was only helping him with his family.
There was nothing wrong with that.
"Well, back then she didn't think that anyone really understood her. She thought the only one who really got her was Rose. She was the only one who realized that Amethyst hated herself. So when she died, Amethyst thought that no one else would ever get her the same way Rose did."
To Amethyst, Rose was the first person who saw all her flaws and still accepted her. She thought the purple Gem was perfect the way she was.
"So when she hung out with my Dad, she remembered all the good times she had with Rose; when she wasn't so focused on hating herself. And the fact that my dad enjoyed hanging out with her made her feel happy. So she really didn't want it to end. Because then there would be nothing to distract her from her problems."
And because of that, she had turned into Rose. And his Dad had most likely relived so many painful memories the moment he saw the purple Gem shapeshift.
All because she didn't want to focus on her own self-hatred, and had taken it out on his own Dad.
"Steven, did Ms. Amethyst also not talk about her issues with her teammates like Pearl did?"
"No."
His response was immediate. He didn't even take a moment to consider Mr. Araki's question.
"Why do you think that is?"
"Becuase Garnet and Pearl back then didn't really get her. They never understood how painful it was for her to be born the way she was. They didn't get how she felt like she was less of a Gem and more like a mistake."
"So her friends, who she spent centuries with, never took the time to understand her? To figure out what she felt inside, even though they're a family?"
He blinked.
Now that he thought about it, how was it that neither Garnet or Pearl realized Amethyst's issues? It wasn't until Amethyst shouted at Pearl all her doubts and insecurities that she finally realized what Amethyst actually thought of herself. Pearl had similar issues to Amethyst, so if anything, she should have been able to identify with Amethyst's own problems.
And how did the others not notice Pearl's issues? Garnet seemed to have a firm understanding about Pearl's mentality, yet it looked like she hadn't really done anything to help considering Pearl still...had some problems. That much he could now see.
How could the Gems be so...blind to each other's torment?
"No. No, they did not."
There was something in his voice. A faint bitterness lying beneath his words. Even though it was small, it was still somewhat sharp.
He saw Mr. Araki raising an eyebrow.
"Before you describe Ms. Amethyst as someone who often tells jokes. Would it be safe to say she often uses jokes or humor to distract herself from the fact that Rose is gone? From having to admit her own issues?"
"Yeah."
"I take it you have been forced to help her with her issues at some point?"
He...he did not like how Mr. Araki had said he was "forced" into helping Amethyst. But he still answered his question.
"Yeah."
"And despite you helping her, she still has these issues. Despite your best efforts she still hates herself. And would it be safe to say she hasn't talked about her self-lotathing since you two fused."
He could once again feel the same horrible nausea choking him when he turned into Smokey Quartz.
"Yes."
"So, let me see if I understand this correctly."
He felt cold again. He could suddenly feel dread swirling at the bottom of his stomach. And it only grew as Mr. Araki took a moment to pause and cross one leg over the other.
"Ms. Amethyst once turned into your mother just to hurt your father because he wanted to leave her. Instead of talking through her issues, she chooses to instead hurt the person who accidentally made her remember a better time. The same person who no doubt was deeply disturbed by seeing his dead wife."
He felt his breath leave his body. He could not move a single inch. Every word Mr. Araki said was clipped and curt. Every word made him feel like he was being punched right in his chest. Fresh pain was suddenly strangling his heart.
"Despite you helping her, she still has these issues to this day. And instead of talking to the one person who can understand her, she chooses instead to hide behind a facade of jokes and humor to ignore her issues."
"That...that's not true."
He found his voice hidden underneath his pain. It was shaky, somewhat quiet, but he knew Mr. Araki could still hear him.
The blond businessman narrowed his eyes.
"I believe you said something similar about Ms. Pearl."
His lips turned into a frown, fingers curling into fists.
"Well, I know I'm right this time. Amethyst doesn't just choose to not talk about her feelings. It's hard to open up and tell other people that you think you suck."
"Yet, even though you've helped her in the past, she refuses to accept it again? When you yourself admitted she still has some lingering issues?"
His anger continued to consume him. It was like a fire was slowly being ignited within his soul, and with each moment it became bigger.
"Amethyst knows that she can come to me whenever she wants to. Besides that, I know she doesn't hate herself nearly as much anymore. And it's not like she's hurt anyone."
"Except your father."
He bit his tongue.
"That...was one time. And me and my dad both forgave her for that."
She made a mistake. That was all. It wasn't fair to judge her just because of that one mistake.
"Do you perhaps think that you are too forgiving? That perhaps Ms. Amethyst uses that fact to get away with such awful behavior?"
"Wha-No!"
He was shouting now. His eyes glared at the blonde businessman across from him.
Mr. Araki's purple eyes were in the same blank stare as before. The man hadn't even flinched at his sudden change in volume.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"It's just, Pearl has done somewhat similar things in the past. And judging by our earlier conversation, you've seemed to forgive Pearl for her actions rather easily in the past."
He could once again see Pearl in his mind. And he could hear her voice in his ears.
"Why don't you let me do this for you R-"
Any ounce of self-control was lost as he shouted as loudly as possible.
"Well, unlike Pearl, Amethyst actually learns from her mistakes and doesn't just worship Rose! She's not nearly as idiotic as Pearl!"
His eyes widened.
He brought a hand to his mouth and immediately stopped talking.
Did... Did he really just say that?
Mr. Araki did not respond. Silence was the only thing he got as a response to his thought.
He wasn't sure if she was really over Rose's death. He wasn't sure if she wasn't aware of his turmoil. He was starting to wonder if she was a selfish person. And all of his doubts brought up bad memories about her past mistakes. Throughout the conversation, he could see memories he had with Pearl that were not exactly pleasant, if only for a second. It was upsetting, and it hurt him to remember those times. It made him start to question who Pearl was.
But he still couldn't believe he said Pearl was idiotic. In his anger, those words had come from somewhere deep with his mind.
"I...I didn't mean that."
He didn't. There was no way he could.
"Yes, you did."
Mr. Araki was staring right into his eyes.
And he found himself unable to look away from his gaze. He suddenly felt scared to even blink.
"No I-I just got angry. I didn't mean that. I-."
"Steven, don't you understand?"
Mr. Araki gave him a smile. It was smaller than his other ones, but the empathy from before had returned the moment his lips curled.
"You're finally starting to see."
That smile disturbed him. It actually made him want to run away. Why he was so intimidated by a smile, he had no idea.
"What? See wha-?"
"Tell me, Steven, have you ever told Ms. Amethyst how Pearl has made you feel?"
His mouth felt dry.
"I... I..."
He remembered something.
"Or perhaps told her how you feel about your mother?"
A time when he had told Amethyst how he felt.
"Yeah."
It was after they had their battle to see who was the worse Crystal Gem. When he was laying on the ground, exhausted and somewhat bruised, he told her. Maybe it was because he was tired and couldn't keep his doubts within himself like he usually did. Maybe it was because after hearing her talk about how useless she felt after getting beaten by Jasper, he thought it would be good to share with her how he could relate.
But no matter the reason, he still told her.
"Really?"
"Yeah. It... It was only once, but I told her how I felt. Well, sort of, I guess. I... I told her that I wasn't Rose Quartz."
"How did she respond?"
"She understood what I meant. She realized that just like her, I kinda felt like I wasn't who I was supposed to be. That I was just a...mistake."
He glanced to the ground.
"She saw how upset I was, and she really felt bad about it. I could tell just by looking at her face. She apologized to me afterward for making me feel like that."
"And then?"
He tilted his head to the side.
"Huh?"
"What did she do after that? Did she offer to help you through your issues the same way that you helped her?"
Did she?
He tried to think about what exactly she did after he confessed, but he couldn't remember anything of note. Sure, for the first few days after he told her, she had asked him how he was feeling, telling him that he was himself and not Rose.
But after a few days...she never brought it up again.
It was like she had...forgotten about his confession.
"I... No, she didn't."
"So, she knew about your inner distress, and chose to do nothing?"
He bit his lower lip.
"Yeah."
Mr. Araki did not respond. And the silence that followed was absolutely suffocating.
"Steven... You just saw it before, so why can't you see it again?"
See what? What was it Mr. Araki wanted him to see?
The blonde businessman spoke before he could ask what he meant.
"Allow me to tell you what I think of Ms. Amethyst."
This wasn't going to be good.
"I will admit, that from what you have told me, Amethyst seems to have better control of her issues than Pearl does."
The blonde businessman's eyes narrowed.
"But that is not exactly saying much."
He had expected him to say something along those lines. But that didn't mean they didn't hurt. He winced as he felt like he had once again been punched in the stomach.
"Amethyst has hurt the people who loved her in the past because she was busy wallowing in her insecurities. She couldn't focus on anything more than her own self-loathing and consciously choose to harm your family. Your father being the prime example."
He winced again. He felt his entire body tremble. His eyes were facing the bench. He couldn't bring himself to look up. Before, when Mr. Araki had said similar things to Pearl, all he could feel was anger.
But now...
Now all he could feel was...fear. A cold, bitting, fear.
He could see images of Amethyst. Some of her laughing at her own jokes. Others of him and her playing video games together.
But there was one that stood out. One that seemed to keep repeating in his mind.
It was of her transforming into his mother. And for the first time, he saw just how cruel her grin was before she turned into Rose.
"Amethyst is the type of person who, much like Pearl, hurts the people who are trying to help her. You've been trying to help her for so long, and though she's made strides, she still has lingering issues. And instead of seeking help from the one person who seems to care about her, she chooses to keep bottling them up and deal with them herself. Even though she couldn't deal with them centuries ago, she now thinks she doesn't need the aid of the person who has selflessly helped her even when she didn't deserve it."
Bottling them up. That sounded like... What he did with his feelings.
"Tell me, Steven, if Amethyst continues to refuse help from you, do you think that another incident like the one with your father will happen again? Or perhaps she'll do something similar to Pearl? Emotionally manipulating you and your friends just to make herself feel better."
She...she wouldn't do that...right?
He thought back to Pearl. She was someone he loved and who loved him back yet...she had hurt him and the rest of their family.
All because she...she...
He didn't finish that thought.
"I don't know."
"The fact that you can't answer whether your guardian may hurt you in the future is far from a good answer, Steven."
He knew it wasn't but...it was the only thing he could come up with. And that irritated him to no ends. Anger was slowly rising within him. He could feel it slowly move its way to his chest.
"And she can't even help the person who confided in her his own issues. She's supposed to take care of you, yet when you needed her most, she left you to deal with your problems by yourself. Even though she knows how ineffective that method is."
Mr. Araki's words were now spoken in a hushed voice. He looked up and saw that the man's expression was no longer emotionless. Instead, all he could see was pity in the man's half closed eyes. It was as deep as the ocean. Like he felt sorry for him that he had to have Amethyst as a guardian. And his sorrow only seemed to grow with each moment.
He should have been angry. Should have been yelling at someone for thinking Amethyst was...a bad person.
But strangely, he felt... nothing. Like he couldn't even decide how he should feel. That couldn't be a good thing.
"And all because she's selfish. All because she only wants other people to help her with her problems, and not the other way around."
Mr. Araki leaned in closer.
And for a moment, his eyes looked...different.
"Just. Like. Pearl."
Suddenly he could only feel fear. A massive terror that was incredibly cold. He felt like he was falling again. He could once again see himself plummeting through the air as he someone watched him. While someone he loved just stood there and watched
Except this time Pearl wasn't alone. For one moment, he swore he saw Amethyst standing right next to her.
And then he stopped falling.
And he was brought back to that night on the beach.
Yeah, Steven...we'd never do something that bad.
Why did she look so...guilty when she said that?
"Tha-That can't be true!"
Even he knew how desperate his voice sounded. He felt his eyes widen as his fear continued to grow.
"There's no way... Amethyst made mistakes but, she's learning. She might have hurt people before but-."
"That's the problem. She's your guardian, she's not supposed to hurt the people you love. She should be mature enough to accept the fact that she needs help, but instead, she doesn't. She's similar to Pear, only in her case she's slightly better. For Pearl doesn't even admit she has problems or that she's hurt her own family."
He couldn't look away. He wanted to, but his body refused to move. He couldn't even breathe right now. He wouldn't have ever agreed with Mr. Araki twenty minutes ago, but now...now he started to see things.
Times when Pearl and Amethyst had hurt either him or his family with their words and actions. Times he had tried to forget, but still festered in the back corners of his mind.
Each and every memory he saw made a cold pain grip his heart. Never had these memories made him feel like this. It was only now, as he truly started to think about the implications of their mistakes, that he began to wonder...if...
If...
He didn't finish.
"I believe you have one more guardian to talk about, Steven. Ms. Garnet, I believe is her name, correct?"
Mr. Araki once again looked different to him. Like a completely different person.
And for some reason, this new person he was looking at...scared him. There was something about his purple eyes. Something that seemed to flash within them, if only for an instant, and then disappear.
"I'm waiting, Steven."
He shook his head. He was seeing things. Things that he couldn't even explain properly.
But he still felt uncomfortable, despite realizing how ridiculous it was.
He just needed to talk. That would make this feeling go away.
"Garnet's been the leader of the Crystal Gems since Rose died."
"So, she hasn't been the leader for that long?"
"I guess compared to Rose she hasn't been."
"I've seen her walking around town, and if you don't mind me saying so, she's rather...intimidating."
Yeah. He could see why some people would get that impression of her.
"She is a little bit intermediating. But, that's only because she's always so serious. She doesn't really express herself that much."
He thought back to moments where she'd let her serious mask slip off.
"But when she does, she's really kind. She's always there for her family and always willing to do anything to save us. She's the wisest person I've ever met, and probably the strongest Gem out there. And all of her traits make her the best leader for The Crystal Gems."
But...just because she was the best leader the Gems could have, that didn't mean she didn't make mistakes.
And for a woman who had future vision, she seemed to do that a lot more than one would expect.
"Is there anything else I should know?"
"Well..."
No secrets. He couldn't keep anything hidden from Mr. Araki. He needed to be honest.
Unlike the-.
He bit his tongue. He just needed to talk about Garnet, that was all.
"She's... Not technically not just one person."
Mr. Araki raised an eyebrow.
"I'm going to have to ask you to explain a little bit more, Steven."
"She's a fusion."
He saw curiosity swell within the man's purple eyes.
"A fusion?"
"Yeah."
"She's always a fusion? As in, she was born a fusion?"
"Well, no. See, Garnet is made up of two Gems named Ruby and Sapphire."
The moment those words left his lips, Mr. Araki's expression seemed to change. Maybe it was just him, but there seemed to be some new emotion lingering with the man's face.
The uneasy feeling within him was growing again.
"Is...something wrong?"
"Not at all. Please, continue talking."
He must have been seeing things.
"Ruby and Sapphire used to serve Homeworld. But one day, they were forced to run away because they accidentally fused with each other. So they ended up on earth, and they slowly learned more and more about one another. Soon, they were in love, and once again they fused. Except this time, they didn't un-fuse. They realized how amazing it was to be fused with the person they loved, and they decided to stay like that. They could be what they wanted to be."
That was how Garnet described the day they ran from Blue Diamond. As a tale of two lovers becoming an answer to questions they had been wondering about since they left their world.
"So, she's always fused? She never...stops being a fusion?"
"No. Garnet's basically the embodiment of their love. And their love's at their strongest when they're fused."
"I see..."
The businessman trailed off. His eyes looked to the side for the moment, like he was thinking about something before they looked right into his own pupils.
"Tell me, Steven, you said before that Ms. Garnet was rather stoic, yes?"
"Yeah."
"Does she ever seem hard to approach?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, does her serious attitude and demeanor ever discourage you from talking to her?"
"Not really. When it's just us, me and the other Gems, she's not nearly as serious."
He paused for a moment. It was true Grant wasn't as serious as she was whenever they went on missions, but she was still somewhat intense.
And he remembered times that when he wanted to talk to her about certain things...he instead chose to say nothing.
"Well, I mean, there are some things that...I guess...I have trouble talking to her about."
"Like your mother."
He flinched. His eyes immediately looked down at the bench.
"Yeah."
It wasn't like it was easier to talk to any one of the Gems about his mother. Pearl... Pearl was probably the most difficult one out of all the Gems when it came to talking about his mother. She was always praising her. Always saying how wonderful she was. How she had sacrificed so much for so many Gems.
It just reminded him that he was nothing like this spectacular woman Peal adored. And after his conversation with Mr. Araki about her feelings for his mother still existing and how...she might be a bad person...
Well, the feelings of inferiority were slowly being consumed by his own doubts. Doubts born from the ivory Gems words about herself and his mother.
Amethyst didn't praise Rose nearly as much as Pearl, but she still loved her. To her, Rose was the kindest person she met. The first one to love her. The first one to accept her. When she did talk about Rose, she didn't gush about her like Pearl did. Instead, she chose to describe how Rose made her feel like she was meant to be born the way she was. That she wasn't a mistake, just different.
It was like Rose was her mother as well as his.
And seeing the melancholic expressions crossing her face whenever she talked about a moment between her and Rose...it hurt. And now that she knew how he felt about his mother, and despite that fact she still went on about her amazing she was made his pain even worse.
But Garnet, when it came to talking about Rose, was almost equally as difficult as the other two Gems.
"Sometimes I feel like Garnet...is impossible to talk to when it comes to Rose."
"Why is that?"
"Because she always talks about her like she was...perfect."
"Like what Pearl does?"
"No, it's...Different."
He let out a sigh. He tried to find the right words to describe what he felt.
"When Pearl talks about Rose, it's mostly about how she was a wonderful person. How she always saw the good side of people. How she never made a mistake. How she always knew when-."
He realized that a sharp bitterness had entered his words as he spoke. The faint anger in his voice was slowly becoming hotter with ever syllable. And these emotions had been growing without him even noticing until right now.
He saw Mr. Araki was looking at him with furrowed brows. He let out a tiny cough before he continued.
"Basically Pearl usually talks about Rose's personality. What she liked and what she didn't like. But Garnet talks about her as a leader."
"A leader?"
"Yeah. She always talking about how Rose made the best decisions. How she never lost her cool in any situation. No matter what, Rose made the best choices possible, and she saved countless Gems because of her leadership skills."
His eyes glanced down.
"But...she rarely talks about her as a person. As the woman behind the rebellion. She's told me...the basics I guess, but she never goes into detail about...anything when it comes to Rose."
"Similar to what the other Gems do when you ask about information regarding their home planet?"
"...Yeah."
All of the Gems were vague. All of them rarely ever talked about Homeworld. They never seemed to talk about other Gems. Not even when they were catching Corrupted Gems did they ever explain what exactly the Gem was like before they became corrupted. They didn't say anything about their past. They rarely talk about the Gem War other than the fact that so many good Gems died fighting it. Which was an obvious fact, even to him.
But the thing they were vague about the most was...Rose.
And Garnet seemed to be the vaguest one out of all the Gems.
"I've...Asked questions before to her about Rose. I've only asked her because I thought...she'd be the one to give me a straightforward answer out of all the other Gems. Like, I asked her what did Rose do before the rebellion? And she told me that Rose, even back then, was always striving to break away from Homeworld. I've asked her how she escaped the Diamonds, she said through her wits and cunning."
He felt his lips move into a frown.
"But when I ask her if she can go into more details, she would tell me that's a story for another day."
It was...frustrating to not have such basic information. That the one who was the wisest out of all the Gems couldn't see why he was asking these questions. How could she be so blind as to why he was asking these questions in the first place? Why didn't she just give him an answer instead of just a vague summary of what Rose did?
Why did all of the Gems do this?
It's obvious. They didn't want to tell him. They thought he didn't deserve to know what they were keeping from him. It's because they're being vague on purpose you id-.
He blinked. And then he wiped some sweat off his forehead with his hand.
Where did that thought come from? It was so... harsh. That thought shouldn't belong to him.
And it was only now that he realized certain thoughts had been almost equally as harsh as this one.
"Steven...out of all your guardians, you said Ms. Garnet seems to be the wisest, correct?"
"Yeah."
"And did Rose entrust her to lead the Crystal Gems after she died."
"I...I guess."
"You guess or you know? Hasn't she ever talked about what happened when she announced when she was having you?"
"Not even once."
He felt his fist tighten. There was anger in his words. His voice wasn't loud, but the venom within it was obvious.
He did not like that. He did not want to be so angry.
But he couldn't stop his feelings no matter what he tried.
"So, is it usually her that most of the other Crystal Gems look to for guidance?"
"Yeah. If... I don't help them first."
It always seemed like he had to be the one to fix their issues. The kid who barely even knew what he was always had to be there for the other Gems.
He could feel anger once again rise within his stomach.
He bit his lower lip.
"Can she not see?"
Wait...what?
He raised an eyebrow as he looked into Mr. Araki's eyes.
"Like...do you mean, if she's blind?"
"Yes."
"...No."
"Ah, I see. Forgive me for that assumption. With that visor of hers, I can't see her eyes, so I couldn't tell. They're a lot like Ms. Peridot's now that I think about it."
Something was bothering him about what Mr. Araki just said. But whatever it was, he could no longer feel it after a second.
For as he stared into the man's eyes, he once again thought he saw something hiding within them. And whatever he was looking at...was incredibly disturbing.
"Because if she was blind, then that might excuse her horrible actions towards her friends."
He felt fresh pain and a coldness once again entered his body.
"What?"
Out of all the Gems, Garnet was the only one who he could remember...not committing a deeply wrong or cruel act to the ones she loved. It was...not easy to admit, but after talking to Mr. Araki, he realized that Garnet was the one who had never once done something similar to Pearl and Amethyst. She had never turned his friend into anything more than a shell. She had never turned into his own mother just because she wanted to traumatize his dad.
She never did anything even close to the horrible deeds Pearl and Amethyst had done.
"She hasn't done anything to them!"
He was surprised he was shouting. Even with the pain and coldness gripping him from within, he still had the strength to shout.
"She's never done anything even remotely close to what Pearl and Amethyst have done to me!"
He realized he had forgotten a few people.
"And...And my friends and my dad."
Those last words were spoken in a much quieter voice. And the coldness seemed to become more piercing the moment those words left his lips.
"Really? Then why is it she's allowed both Amethyst and Pearl to continue to wallow in their own insecurities and do nothing? Why hasn't she tried to console Pearl about her feelings for Rose or Amethyst's self-hatred? "
"Because...she doesn't know about their-."
He stopped himself.
He felt his heart stop. The coldness within him now completely engulfed his body. He felt numb; like his body had forgotten how to move.
"I..."
"Steven you're starting to see it again. Not the full picture, but parts of it."
Mr. Araki scooted a little closer to him.
"Keep going."
Garnet... Garnet had been a part of the Crystal Gems for centuries. Just like Rose, she had been a part of their family for so long.
"She...She does know about their problems."
She was probably the first one to realize their issues. She had been the one who told her about how Pearl was willing to sacrifice herself for Rose. She had been the one who wasn't surprised when he told her Amethyst hated herself after he returned from the Kindergarten.
"She know's...But she doesn't do anything to help them."
There was no way she didn't know. He realized their issues. Someone who was not nearly as smart as her. Someone who lacked centuries worth of interactions and memories with his guardians when compared to her.
She had to realize it.
Just like...Rose.
"There's...there's no way they didn't know."
If even half of what the other Gems said about Rose was true, then she was probably smarter than even Garnet. Most likely even more attentive than anyone could imagine. She had spent centuries with the Gems, so she probably knew them better than themselves.
So...she had to have known.
Rose knew. She knew and did nothing. She knew about Pearl's feelings. She knew she loved her. She had to have known her leaving would cause Amethyst to hate herself even more than before. She knew all of this... And still chose to leave them all behind. She chose to leave them when they still needed help. When they were so obviously damaged.
Was it because she was...selfish?
Becuase she was...a bad person?
I saw the leader of the Crystal Gems Rose Quartz shatter Pink Diamond!
Was Garnet...just like her?
"No..."
He lowered his head. He gripped chunks of his hair with both hands.
There...there had to be a reason. There had to be some kind of explanation!
"There's no way she's...a bad person. She's...she's kind and loving. She's saved the world."
"Amethyst and Pearl have as well, Steven."
He glanced up.
Narrowed Purplish eyes looked won at him.
Wait...Purplish? That wasn't right, they were clearly pure purple. Where did he get-?
"And I think we both know that just like Garnet, they are far from good people."
He couldn't even breath the moment Mr. Araki said that.
No...that had to be wrong...if Garnet was a bad person...if the other Gems were as well...
Then what did that mean about all their secrets? Were the things they kept hidden from him a way to prevent him from learning the truth about them?
About...Rose?
"That-."
"You're about to say something along the lines of that Garnet isn't like Pearl and Amethyst, correct?"
He stopped talking. The only thing he could do was slowly nod his head.
Mr. Araki let out a sigh.
"Steven... Let me ask you, why on earth would Ms. Garnet never help her friends when they needed it?"
His lips moved into a thin line.
"The only answer I can see is rather simple."
No. Don't say it. Please don't-.
"She doesn't care about their problems."
Mr. Araki stopped speaking. There wasn't a single sound that could be heard for miles.
He was shaking now. Every part of his body had been consumed by an immense fear. He could feel it stab right through his heart as cold sweat traveled down his forehead.
Why? Why was he so scared? He should have been angry at Mr. Araki for saying such an obvious lie. For saying something that couldn't possibly be true.
So why was he trembling?
"She has had years to help her friends sort out their issues. Instead, she chose to ignore them. To let the people she calls a family despair over their fallen leader."
The blond businessman leaned in closer. Cold eyes that did not even resemble the kind pair he wore before almost glared at him.
"And she does all this because she is selfish."
He moved even closer.
"Surely as their friend, she would have chosen to help them. If she truly cared, she would have been there to console them after their original leader died. But it is obvious she did not do that. As if Pearl and Amethyst treatment of you isn't a clear enough indication."
Mr. Araki's lips twitched. The businessman leaned until his head was inches away from his own.
His eyes looked different again.
"I'm afraid that Ms. Garnet is just as bad as the rest of your guardians, Steven."
No...
His shaking had gotten even worse.
They weren't bad people.
He felt like vomiting. He felt like his stomach was turning inside out.
The Gems...they couldn't all be bad people.
They loved him. He was sure. More than sure. They-.
He saw Pearl glaring at him in his mind again.
He saw Amethyst turning into his mother.
And then he saw Garnet standing on the beach with the rest of them after Lapis had escaped.
She doesn't know what she's talking about, Steven.
She had said those words in the same emotionless voice she always spoke in. Even though a Gem they had thought was nothing more than a relic from the past had told them she had been trapped in a mirror because of them. Even though it should have been shocking, or at the very least upsetting, to know that they had accidentally imprisoned a Gem for thousands of years.
And yet, she stood on the sand with an emotionless expression.
Almost like she knew.
Almost like she didn't care.
"NO!"
He was screaming. There were so many emotions in his voice. Fear ,rage, sorrow, regret. So many feelings were jammed into one word. That word held the weight of every awful emotion running rampant within him.
"She's not a bad person!"
He looked right into Mr. Araki's eyes. His cold, purple eyes. Eyes that disturbed him for some unexplained reason.
But he refused to look away.
"Maybe she didn't talk to them because she thought that leaving them alone was the best way to help them!"
"Steven, surely after a few days she would have seen how awful of an idea this was. If a parent saw that one method wasn't working to help their child through an emotional time in the life, they would change and try new ways to console them."
Mr. Araki's eyes looked right at him.
He found himself breathing heavily now.
"Garnet would have realized this method was useless. She'd have to be an idiot to think that doing nothing for years while Pearl and Amethyst lamented would be better than doing anything at all. The only reason I can see as to why she didn't truly try to help them..."
He paused.
And in an instant, his purple eyes terrified him. To him, there almost seemed to be something...dark, hiding within his eyes. And whatever it was struck the very center of his heart.
For a second, Mr. Araki's eyes almost looked like a different color.
"Is because she doesn't care about their problems. Just like how they don't care about hers."
His fear crushed his heart in a deadly grip. He could barely even think straight. His eyes were wide as his breaths came out at alarming speeds.
No. There's no way. They weren't like that. They weren't. They were his family. His everything.
They loved-.
I saw the leader-.
"SHUT UP!"
He glared at Mr. Araki. Every emotion within him had been channeled to his face. Every ounce of sadness, anger, and fear had entered his eyes. He could feel every one of gis emotions fighting each other as they swirled in his words. Like a whirlpool that was made of his darkest thoughts.
And yet the man did not even blink.
"They do care! They're always there for each other! If one of them was in danger, they come running! If one of them died, then they would cry! And they've been doing that ever since Peridot died! So explain that!"
They had to be good people. If not, then why would they be fighting for earth? Why would they risk their lives so many times for people they didn't even know?
And what kind of secrets would they be keeping if they were bad people?
"Because they want to hurt each other."
Mr. Araki did not even hesitate slightly. He simply narrowed his eyes as the words left his lips.
He felt his heart slamming against his ribs. He could no longer look at the man and instead choose to focus on the bench.
"Wha-What?"
"They want to hurt each other. Your guardians have feelings, Steven. They know how to love, how to cry, and how to smile. What you have told me has made that clear. However..."
He paused.
His heart was beating like a drum now. A horribly loud drum that would not stop.
"It's clear that somewhere along the way, their relationship with one another has become toxic."
He was suddenly transported to the bottom of the sea.
And he could only see a giant green eye.
Toxic. That was the word Garnet had used to describe the fusion of Jasper and Lapis. A relationship that thrived of each person hurting one another.
And that was what Mr. Araki was calling the Crystal Gems.
"Why do you-."
"Because it's the only thing that makes sense Steven. They risk their lives for each other, yet they never seem to take the time to understand one another. They care enough that they'll cry if one of them get's hurt, but the next day they might end up being the one hurts the other. They're more than willing to put their desires before their supposed friends, but for some reason still feel bad about treating them like trash."
That describe the Gems perfectly. He absolutely hated that he was so quick to admit it but...Mr. Araki words seemed incredibly accurate.
He once again felt like vomiting. He hated every fiber of himself for saying that but...a small part of him felt the pain, the pain he had been feeling for so long...dwindle slightly.
He was shaking again.
"They like each other enough to live in the same house, but hate themselves enough that they're more than willing to let it out on one of their teammates. Or some of them just don't care either way and are more than willing to sit back and watch the fireworks."
Fireworks. Like the ones that began right after he saw Peridot die in a horrible explosion.
He could feel sorrow once again flood his body. But it was quickly pushed away by a cold, uncaring fear.
"But...they save the world."
Mr. Araki raised a brow.
"As I said before, even selfish people can do some good, even if they don't mean to. Tell me, after everything we've talked about, can you honestly say that you know why they fight such horrible creatures from their planet? Do you truly know if their motivations are good and not selfish?"
He thought he did. Before, he would say it was because they were good people and wanted to help.
But...now...
"Can you even tell if what they said to you wasn't just another lie? That there's not some alternate reason why they do this?"
He didn't respond. They had lied to him before. They kept lying to him whenever they kept another secret from him.
Whenever they pretended they weren't still in love with a dead woman.
When they tricked themselves into thinking they didn't hate themselves any longer.
When they convinced themselves they had done a good job of being a leader when their team was in shambles.
He...they...why did he have to think like that? Why wasn't he screaming at himself for such ridiculous thoughts? Why couldn't he just deny Mr. Araki's accusations?
Because you agree with him. Because you finally realize just how much the Gem's have-.
No! He refused to believe that!
"They... They might have flaws but... I know them. I love them."
Yeah. He loved them. That was-.
"Really? Even though it was only moments ago you said that Pearl was an idiot? That she was stupid for worshiping Rose"
He stopped talking. His eyes went wide; The coldness choked his throat. His entire body felt like it was made of ice.
"I...I didn't mean-."
"Yes you did Steven, don't lie to yourself."
"No... I would never-."
"You already admitted that the Gems have hurt you. That they keep hurting you over and over again."
"But...but they're...they're my family."
"Just because they're your family doesn't mean you have to love them, Steven. That you have to keep forgiving them for mistakes they keep making."
Mr. Araki moved closer. His hands gripped the shoulders of his jacket.
"It's time you saw the completed picture, Steven."
He felt trapped. Like he couldn't run away. Like something bad would happen if he tried to.
"Do you want to know why I am so sure that the Crystal Gems are awful people? Do you know what I wanted to confirm before we began this chat?"
He couldn't verbally respond. He was too scared to speak. All he could do was shake his head.
"It has to do with one thing. Or rather...one person."
He didn't want to listen. He wanted to cover his ears.
"It seems like all of their issues, have one linking factor. It seems like thier secrets all go back to one person."
Mr. Araki was so close he could feel his breath brush against his skin.
"It all seems like Rose Quartz is at the heart of all their problems."
He could see Rose smiling at him in the videotape she gave him. In his mind, that smile seemed even bigger than before.
Even as Pearl wept on that battlefield.
As Amethyst shouted about how much she hated herself.
As Garnet laid defeated on the beach.
"I...I..."
His body trembled so badly he was close to falling off the bench. He was like a leaf in a typhoon. Unable to stop itself as powerful winds forced it to move against its will.
"Rose seems to be someone who troubles you greatly, Steven. You've barely called her "mom" throughout our conversation, only referring to her by her first name. Like your avoiding calling her your mother."
He...he hadn't realized that. Now that he thought about it, he had rarely even called Rose his mother even in his own thoughts. As if he was ashamed of that fact.
Because you are ashamed. Because who would want to be related to that horrible person?
Shut up! Shut up!
Where did that voice keep coming from?! Why did he keep having to hear it constantly tell him those horrible things?!
"Well, I suppose I could understand why. After all, your guardians have essentially made Rose an object for you to hate."
Hate? Did he...hate Rose?
He felt pain whenever he was reminded about how great of a person she was from Pearl. He felt remorseful whenever Amethyst told him about how Rose was the only one who really got her. He felt inadequate whenever Garnet told him about how Rose led them to victory in so many battles.
But...did that mean he hated her?
Mr. Araki was still staring right into his eyes. The blonde businessman's purple pupils seemed so calm and looked so cold.
He saw something appear within them again.
"Steven, think about all the secrets they keep from you. You don't know anything about the planet they are from. You don't know anything about their past. Anytime you try to find more answers, all you get is more questions."
There had to be a reason for that! There just had to! If there wasn't...then, why on earth did they feel the need to keep such stuff from him?
Because they're bad people-.
No, shut up! Shut up! Why wouldn't that voice shut up!
"And all of these secrets, of all these lies are meant to keep something from you. But what is the question? What on earth are they so desperate to protect? Well, I have a rather good guess as to the answer."
His voice became a whisper. But the blond man next to him might as well have been shouting.
"They're keeping the truth about Rose from you."
He felt his eyes widened.
He had learned so much about Rose in such a short time. He learned she lied. He had learned she kept secrets from her closest friends.
He had learned she was far from perfect.
A fact the Gems seemed blind to.
"The only reason I can see as to why they keep so much from you is that they don't want you to know that Rose was far from perfect."
It was terrifying hearing the man in front of him essentially speaking his thoughts. To hear someone else think the same way he did about Rose.
Because it meant that he might be right.
"Your guardians have glorified Rose to the extreme. They make her sound like some sort of Goddess descended from the heavens themselves. When in reality, she wasn't. Yet they are so determined to keep up this false idea of their leader no matter what."
Mr. Araki's lips twitched. He had no idea as to why.
"Probably because pretending that such a perfect woman had been a part of their lives might make them feel like less awful people."
He was surprised how Mr. Araki's grip never lost its hold even as his trembling grew worse—the man's fingers held him down with ease.
No... that... That...
"That can't be right!"
Their secrets had to be different than that! They had to be something good! If they weren't, if they were really about how Rose was a bad person...about how she had shattered Gems in the past...
Then...what would that make the Gems? The people who knowingly kept such things from him?
"They...They love me! Bad people can't feel love!"
That was what motivated him. That was what gave him strength on a daily basis. The love he had for his home. The love of his friends.
The love of his family.
If they were bad people, then they wouldn't protect Beach City. If they were bad people, then how could they always smile whenever he accomplished something. When he helped defeat some random Gem monster. Every Gem he had met was a good person. Even the ones who had tried to kill him. So the Crystal Gems had to be good people too. Because if people who tried to murder him in cold blood were good, they must have been to. They had to be. They were people who always helped others. People who would never shatter anyone. People who-.
"Do they really love you, Steven?"
His shaking stopped.
Every thought came to a halt.
"What?"
His voice came out in a shrill gasp. His words sounded broken. Shattered. Like nothing could ever make them whole again.
Mr. Araki's grip tightened.
"How do you know they love you...and not Rose."
Mr. Araki's eyes pierced him. Powerful eyes easily saw through his every thought. His every emotion.
His very soul.
"One of them call's you Rose. The other talks about times with your mother as if your her and not you. And the last one talks about her skills as a leader as if she was right in front of you."
Mr. Araki looked down at his stomach.
At his Gemstone.
"They keep trying to steer you down the same path she walked. They keep telling you about all the things she did because they want you to be her."
That...that...
He couldn't even think. His trembling was so bad
"They're trying to turn you into a copy of the one they lost. To construct you into their ideal image of Rose. To finally have their imaginary idea of their leader come to live."
His voice failed him.
"To them...you're not Steven Universe."
He placed a hand on his stomach.
"You're just Rose Quartz."
The moment those words left Mr. Araki's lips, he felt something wrap around his limbs. His fear instantly dragged him into an abyss. The world faded and all he could see was darkness. The horror that suddenly assaulted him was vicious. It killed every other emotion within him. It made him know that he was at its mercy.
His terror let him know that Mr. Araki's words could not be truer.
"NO!"
Every part of him was trembling. Sweat fell down his skin like icy cold waterfalls.
"They don't think I'm Rose!"
He wasn't Rose Quartz! He wasn't their dead leader and he would never be!
They had to know that! They couldn't be that stupid!
"They're not bad people! They just make mistakes!"
"Mistakes which have deeply upset you, Steven. I'd even go as far as to say traumatized."
The calmness of those words only made him feel worse. They only made his fear all the more deadly.
"They help people!"
"Most likely for their own selfish reasons."
They weren't selfish! They couldn't be! He wouldn't believe it!
"Rose Quartz wasn't a bad person! She freed so many Gems!"
"For reasons, you don't know. For reasons they refuse to tell you."
"She would never shatter anyone!"
"I do not believe I ever suggested she did."
He could feel his fear swallow every fiber of his body.
Why? Why couldn't he ignore the voices? His fear? Why did these words hurt him so much?
"She hasn't done anything wrong!"
"Is that a fact?"
He stopped talking.
Mr. Araki's grip on his shoulders became harder.
His thought he saw something...glowing within his eyes.
"You're saying leaving three broken women alone to raise a child and never once trying to help them get over their issues is perfectly fine?"
"I-."
She... had done that.
"You're saying willingly choosing to leave your father alone and heartbroken is okay?"
He...no. That wasn't okay.
"You're saying that choosing to have a son at the cost of her own life, even though there are still threats on earth, even though there is apparently a galactic empire trying to destroy it, is okay?"
Of course not.
Mr. Araki was glaring at him now.
"You're so close to seeing it, it's frustrating. Why can't you see it?"
"See what?"
"Can you honestly sit there and say you can't think of one moment, one moment, where Rose Quartz's decisions have come to wreak havoc on your life?"
Yes. He could.
The Rubies coming after them. Jasper determined to destroy the Crystal Gems because of Rose. Homeworld having it out for the earth because of one woman.
And then there was-.
Nice to see you remember me.
His eyes widened.
No...not now.
Finally starting to see it, huh Steven?
Why did he have to hear her voice now!?
"I don't want to talk anymore!"
He tried to move out of Mr. Araki's grasp. He tried to look away from his gaze.
But the blonde businessman would not let him go.
His eyes were gleaming with something...malevolent.
"You have to. This is for your own good."
The man's voice sounded so...empty.
He closed his eyes. He didn't want to look at Mr. Araki anymore. He had seen enough of the man's purple eyes for a lifetime.
"I don't care. Please, let me-!"
"Steven..."
That one word stopped him. That one word made a new fear drown his body. It was dark; It was violent. It was like his terror was telling him he had suddenly brought on the wrath of something like Jasper. Only whatever he had made angry was far more powerful than Jasper.
He opened his eyes.
Cold, emotionless eyes glared at him. Eyes that belonged to something horrible. To something that would hurt anyone it wanted.
Eyes that were a disturbing shade of pink were staring right through him. Eyes that were as far from purple as possible. Eyes that destroyed any control over his body he had left.
Eyes that belonged to the monster from his dream.
"Answer the question. Now."
He wanted to run. To run and never stop running. Everything was screaming at him to run. The words that left Mr. Araki's lips only made his fear all the more agonizing.
"Let me go!"
He could almost see the terror in his voice. The unyielding fear in his words slipped into the air. It made everything around him look like the cruel creature from his nightmare.
He suddenly felt like he was surrounded.
Like he was trapped.
"Not until you see it."
He struggled to break free. But the man's grip was incredibly strong.
Cold pink eyes continued to glare at him.
"See what?!"
"That your guardians, that Rose Quartz, are the cruelest people you have ever met!"
Mr. Araki was screaming. For the first time, he could hear anger in his voice. He could almost see it. It was cold yet hot. Something that burned people to ashes but also froze them to the spot.
"That they keep secrets not to protect you, but to prevent you from seeing the truth!"
He heard Eyeball's voice again. Except this time it was louder than it had ever been before. It rang in his ears a thousand times over.
"I saw the leader of the Crystal Gems, Rose Quartz, shatter Pink Diamond!"
"That there selfish people! That they're horrible!"
The next words left his mouth before he could stop them.
"I KNOW THAT!"
Mr. Araki finally blinked.
Once. Then twice.
The blond gentleman let go of him.
His eyes were no longer pink. They were back to his normal color.
But he was still shaking. His fear still strangled him from within.
Mr. Araki's lips were in a firm line.
"Keep going."
He could feel tears building up in his eyes.
"I... I'm always cleaning up after Rose Quartz's mistakes. Me and the Gems are always suffering because of her actions."
There never seemed to be a day where Rose Quartz's decisions didn't come back to bite him and his family.
"I keep learning things that the Gems don't want me to know."
So many times. He kept learning darker and darker secrets about the dead leader of the Gems. So many times was he shocked to hear about the things she had done. Jasper accusing Rose of only helping those who were at their weakest so that she can use them as tools. The Rubies saying she shattered Pink Diamond and Homeworld believing that as well.
Her bubbling Bismuth and lying about it to the very end. Never once letting the rainbow-haired Gem's friends know the truth. Even in death, she was planning on having Bismuth trapped in Lion's mane for who knows who long.
"Rose... Rose is my mom, but she's done horrible things. She's lied. She's hurt, people. Even her own friends. Even people who were loyal to her and just wanted to help. She was happy hiding things from everyone she's known."
She could have told them at any time. But she never did.
"The earth, her family, are all in danger because of her. But she still wanted to leave it all behind. Even though she said she loved all of them, she was more than willing to give it all up. To run away from her mistakes."
Like the Gems. They said they loved him, but their actions screamed that they didn't.
"She never talked to Pearl about her feelings for her before she died. Or to Amethyst about her self-loathing. Or even giving Garnet any advice on being a leader. She never stopped to consider how much her leaving the Gems would hurt them."
Did she even have a plan before she decided to give birth to him? Did she even once think about how exactly the Gems were going to deal with all the threats still wreaking havoc on and off earth?
Of course not.
Because she would never have done that if she truly cared. She would never have left the Gems if she actually wanted to help people.
She would never have done that if she wasn't a selfish, awful person.
"And the worse part..."
He was sobbing now. Tears once again fell from his eyes.
"Is that the other Gems don't see how much she sucked!"
They didn't see the full picture.
That Rose was a bad person.
They never had. And they never would.
"You're right! They're always saying how perfect she was. How loving she was!"
His words were blazing with fire. Every part of his voice was scorching. The hatred in his voice was unlike anything he had ever felt before.
Yes, hatred.
Hatred for his mother. From the bottom of his heart, he truly hated her.
He finally realized that thank to Mr. Araki.
"If she was so loving she wouldn't have abandoned the man who loved her! The team she fought for centuries with!"
If she truly cared, she wouldn't have left. If she hadn't left, then so many problems would have been solved instantly.
And Peridot might still be alive if the Gems had a competent leader.
"The Gems... My dad..."
That might have been the worse part. That his own father believed her lies. That a man so kind had been deceived by someone who was so awful.
"They keep believing that she's wasn't a bad person! Even though they keep seeing all the awful thing's she done with their own eyes!"
They barely mentioned Bismuth anymore. Like she never even existed. They never even talked about what the Rubies said about Rose after they returned from the moon. Like it wasn't a big deal.
It was disgusting. How could they be so cruel? How could they never bother to acknowledge all these horrible deeds? How could they not... feel anything after seeing all of this.
It was simple, really.
"Probably because they're almost as bad as her!"
He could see their smiling faces in his mind.
But this time he didn't see the usual kindness in their eyes.
Instead, he only saw how much those smiles enraged him. The fact that they were smiling, even though they were broken, even though they still weren't over their leader, they smiled.
They kept telling him to be his own person, despite them clearly wanting him to be another Rose Quartz.
And they said that lie with a smile.
"They always hurt me but they never notice! They're too busy fawning over Rose to even care!"
The pain constricting his body had almost completely faded. The fear had disappeared from existence. He finally realized why.
Because he was speaking the truth.
Mr. Araki had helped him see it. That the Gems were awful. That they never cared for him.
That they...never loved him.
Only Rose Quartz.
Because people who loved each other, people who were a real family, never would have done all the despicable deeds they had.
His jacket was completely covered in tears.
"I... I don't know what to do anymore."
Those last words were lower than a whisper. He could hear how empty his voice had become. How lifeless. As if every ounce of emotion had left his body and left only a corpse.
He had never felt so defeated in his life.
The Gems...the Gems were bad people.
They were bad people. They were bad people. They were bad people. They-.
He felt something wrap around his head.
He looked up and saw Mr. Araki had wrapped him in a hug.
"There, There..."
His warm features were back. The benevolence had returned and had gotten rid of any traces of his cold eyes from before.
He was smiling at him. A big, cheerful, smile.
"It's okay, Steven. I know how difficult this has been for you."
His hand moved to wipe away some of the tears staining his face.
"I'm sorry if I seemed cold before. I had to be harsh with you in order to get you realize it."
That explained it. Mr. Araki was a nice man. He was just being cold to get him to finally see something so obvious.
When had seen the cold eyes of the monster from his dream, it must have been because of all the stress he had been feeling.
That was it.
"But now that you have, I think it's time to move onto the next step."
He was confused by those words.
"The next step?"
"Yes. We will have to continue these conversations of ours. Say, every once in a while you come to meet me outside my house. You tell me a little bit about the Gem's past, whatever you know anyway, and I'll see how I can help you."
His smile seemed to get bigger.
And for a moment, he thought it was...creepy.
"You have just lost someone important to you. And I have just learned that the Gems are not suitable guardians for you. They've hurt you for years, and who knows how deeply their damage runs. So, I think we should meet up in somewhere private and just talk."
That...that did sound like it would help. To finally find someone he could be honest with.
And who better than a man who actually cared about him. Who didn't see him as Rose Quartz. His dad saw him as himself, but he loved Rose Quartz. He couldn't open up to him.
"Maybe... Maybe you can help the Gems to?"
Mr. Araki raised a brow.
"To help them see how Rose was a bad person."
He was surprised at himself for actually wanting to help them. Even though he could see all their horrible deeds replay in his mind.
Mr. Araki frowned.
"I don't think they'll see what we see, Steven."
Yeah...they wouldn't. It was stupid to think otherwise.
"In fact, I think it would be best if you didn't tell them about our talk. Or any future talks if you decide to have them."
"...Okay."
Right. He was going to have to face them again. He was going to have to see them again now knowing how awful they were.
He felt his heart twist. The fear from before had returned. And it was slithering with glee within his stomach. Because it knew just how bad any attempted conversation with them would go now that he had realized the truth.
"Would you mind...staying with me for just a little bit longer."
The frown was gone in an instant. His bright smile was back in its place.
"Of course not Steven."
He slowly wrapped his arms around the bigger man's waist.
Tears continued to fall down his eyes.
And he knew they wouldn't stop anytime soon.
He'd never have thought he would learn so much from the chubby boy in front of him in such a short time.
But he had. And he was having trouble not chuckling.
Kira didn't even mind that the boy was staining his clothes with his mucus and snot.
For he had hit a goldmine.
The Crystal Gems weren't some tightly knit family everyone in this town believed they were. They weren't loving people who protected Beach City like some shonen manga hero.
No. They were broken.
They were human.
One was a remorseful lesbian who apparently wanted to have sex with a dead woman.
Another hated herself for being born.
And the last one was such a bad leader she was blind to everyone's torment.
It really was difficult to not laugh.
He truly was blessed. Having enemies that were already broken would make it so much easier to fight. Having people who had so many issues that not even the world's best shrink could help with would make any encounter so much more enjoyable.
And it was all thanks to Universe. All because Universe had been at the center of such pathetic people for years. All because this boy had no one else to talk to with.
All because the chubby idiot hadn't realized just how cruel his "guardians" were. And thanks to him, Universe had finally realized the most obvious thing in the world.
That they were the saddest, most pitiful people on the planet.
Really, the fact alone that they hadn't realized their "son" was holding such vast insecurities confirmed just how clueless they were. It basically screamed that they were too consumed with their own idiotic thoughts to notice that someone they "loved" was going through such torment.
It was hilarious. He honestly had great difficulty not smiling several times throughout their talk.
Now that he had Universe, he could learn as much as he wanted about his guardians. All their secrets. All their powers.
All their weaknesses.
Every action he took had been thought out. Ever moment he showed his true face, his true nature, had been to make sure Universe would spill his guts. There were risks, and few times perhaps he had been to menacing, but he had overcome them just like every obstacle before.
This had been a plan that used every art of manipulation he had learned after so many years of pretending to be a normal man. A plan that when it worked, would put him on an entirely different playing board then the rest of the idiots he was fighting.
And it worked to perfection.
He had already learned so much from this one conversation, he could not even imagine how much more he would learn from the next.
And the boy would willingly tell him all of this.
Because he believed Araki Hirohiko was a good man. Because the boy believed he wanted to help him.
He truly was an idiotic brat.
It was then he thought he heard something. He turned his head to the left but saw nothing.
Strange. Oh well, it must have been a random bird.
He looked back down at the sniveling child who was still hugging him.
He supposed in Universe's defense, he was technically helping him. He was pointing out the things anyone with an ounce of actual intelligence would have noticed. Really, how could anyone not see how shattered these people were? How could the boy who lived with them only now notice after, what, twelve? fourteen years?
Well, his age didn't really matter at this point.
Because after all, to a corpse, age is-.
He heard something again.
It sounded like something was...clanging against some kind of surface.
He turned his head.
He once again saw nothing.
No...something was wrong. There had to be something here. He was sure of it.
He eyes glanced down. And he saw what had made that noise.
A manhole cover. A manhole cover that was currently overflowing with dirty water.
He raised an eyebrow.
This didn't look natural.
As more water came from underneath the manhole, the cover began to shake. It kept clanging as the water continue to slip out from underneath and onto the streets.
And then, like someone had increased the pressure of on a faucet, the water became more violent.
In an instant, the water was now rushing from underneath the manhole cover. It flooded almost half the street in just a few seconds. It was as if a river had suddenly come into existence from underneath the manhole.
And the manhole continued to clang more and more with each second, spinning around its edges like a top.
His lips moved into a frown.
And an explosion of water came from underneath the manhole.
Water shot into the sky. Like a geyser has just been born underneath the street. The sudden torrent of water that erupted into the air shattered the silence that had been enveloping the streets for so long. He could feel droplets of the water pelted his skin and clothes.
He made sure not to swallow or inhale any of the filthy water. This was going to be a pain to get out of his clothes later.
He saw the manhole cover flip high into the air.
And from the corner of his eye, he saw Universe looking up at the geyser of filthy sewer water. Tears still in his eyes as he looked at where the manhole cover had once been.
"What the-?"
The boy didn't finish. Near the end of the street at an intersection, another geyser erupted into the air.
And over a set of buildings, they could see another manhole twirl high into the air as another explosion of water followed it.
And about a dozen or so geysers soon followed. Each one from a different location in the city. Each one visible as they seemed to go higher and higher into the air.
And then, the filthy water on the ground began to vibrate.
"Wha-What's happening?"
He wanted to roll his eyes. What was the point of asking such a stupid question?
He saw the water on the floor slowly become droplets. Bit by bit, the stream covering the street turned into tiny droplets of water that flew up into the sky. Thousands of tiny droplets seemed to be pulled by an invisible force as they went higher and higher. It was like it was raining in reverse.
He watched this with eyes that he knew held no emotion whatsoever.
And once every ounce of water had been turned into droplets, they began to converge. Each droplet smashed into each other. Every ounce of liquid seemed to shimmer as they began to take shape.
The first thing he saw was a long yet thick stomach.
The second was how the head became rough. Even though it was water, he could almost see a translucent skin slowly molding into bestial features.
The third was the tail. It was slimmer than it's main body, but it was still large. He could almost see the weight of that one appendage.
And the last thing were the eyes. Not even a drop of water had been used to create eyes. Instead, it only had empty, rectangular slots in the front of its face meant to act in place for pupils.
It was probably the length of about two school buses. Even though its teeth were made of water, he could tell they were very sharp. It's jaw looked powerful enough to snap a building in two. It did not have wings or legs, though; its body was more serpentine in nature, with the exception of two large arms that were half the length of its body. He could see water dripping down from its body and back onto the ground.
The water dragon that floated in the air was rather menacing, he would admit.
He continued to look at it with a blank expression.
Universe, on the other hand, was looking at it with wide eyes and an open mouth.
"...Lapis?"
Ahh. So that was it. Apparently, the blue woman could control the very shape the water she manipulated would take.
And he instantly knew why she had done so. She must have truly been distraught over that green midgets death.
How adorable.
The dragon continued to hover in the air. The water that made up its body seemed to be in constant motion. He could see it swirling. Could see it moving up and down in periodic patterns.
He then saw the dragon move its head to the right.
Towards the Beach.
He moved his head in the same direction. He couldn't quite tell, but it seemed like the dragon was looking at the general area of the hill on the beach and-.
No... that wasn't what it was looking at.
No, what this beast was looking at was The Beach House.
Well...maybe he wouldn't have to fight against alien women after all.
"Oh no..."
Universe was looking in the same direction as the dragon.
It was at that moment, the dragon moved. Like a jet, it flew through the air and headed straight towards the beach.
"No!"
He could hear the worry in Universe's voice. He could see how it weighed on his face as he wiped away the tears on his eyes.
Well, it looked like he still partially cared about his "guardians" well-being. He truly was an idiot. After everything they just talked about, he still cared if they died?
Universe jumped off the bench and ran after the dragon. Running as fast as his little legs would carry him.
Once he was out of sight, he slowly got up. He reached for the spare handkerchief that he kept in his left pants pocket. He was thankful he always kept two since he gave the first one to Universe.
He began to wipe away at the filthy water covering his face and clothes. Once he felt that he had gotten rid of as much as he could, he proceeded to walk in the general direction of his house.
Go ahead, Universe. Save your family. Be the hero.
It'll be the last time he'll ever save anyone.
It'll be the last time he'll ever care about his family.
Because after a few more talks...he would have the perfect little weapon to kill any sort of bonds these idiots had left.
His lips moved into a smile. And he could feel just how sinister it was. How much cruelty that one smile released with every second.
He truly loved this world.
To Be Continued~
Hello again my faithful readers!
Firstly, once again, I know this story is a little late. This time it was due to a combination of things. One of them being busy with real life stuff. The other is that this chapter was probably the hardest one for me to write so far.
I am aware there was a lot of talking in this chapter, but I feel like it is needed. I wanted to make sure it was believable that Kira could manipulate Steven in a way that didn't seem too forced. And to do that, I had to make this chapter long.
Also, during the next chapter, there will be a bit of a time skip. It'll take place at the begining of "Steven's Dream." With some obvious changes. What happened after the end of this chapter, especially the Lapis parts, shall be explained next time.
And speaking of the next chapter, you know who finally arrives in Beach City.
And after he does, I will finally get to write the arc I have been visualizing since the beginning of this story.
Also, recently I have uploaded this story to Space Battles, so if any of you guys have questions or want to have a discussion you can do it there.
As usual, if anyone has any thoughts, suggestions, or predictions as to where this story is going, don't be afraid to say so in the reviews! This is the Black Mage of Phantasm signing off. Peace!
And Next Time:
Chapter 10: The Storm
Edit:
(7/14/17)
Side Story: Home
Something seemed...wrong.
Jotaro Kujo took another sip of his coffee. The drink held just the right amount of bitterness that he had developed a taste for ever since he hit his thirties. Once he finished, he gently placed the white coffee mug back on the table.
"So, how is it?"
"It's good."
His eyes looked away from the cup as he gazed at the black-haired woman sitting on the opposite side of the table.
A small smile graced Tomoko Higashikata's lips.
"Well, I'm glad you don't think it tastes like shit."
He reached for the cup again and took another sip. He never knew the mother of Josuke Higashikata could make such good coffee. Though, he had never known a lot of things about Tomoko before. But the more he visited her house, the more he learned about her.
Ever since Josuke had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth, he had frequently come over to talk with his mother. After a few days of searching for the teenager, Tomoko had begun to get suspicious. He had at first told her that Josuke would be spending more time with him because he needed help on researching certain marine life. This had been mere hours after he had been told what had happened to his Uncle by Hayato, the son of the man Kira murdered, and a shell-shocked Okuyasu.
He knew that it might take a while to find Josuke. Instincts refined after so many encounters with the supernatural told him they would not find Josuke right away. That his Uncle might not be found for some time.
He had hoped his instincts would be wrong.
But still, he took precautions. And at first, she believed his words. Why wouldn't she? Josuke had been spending more and more time with him as they hunted for the bastard sociopath hiding in Morioh. And he had used the exact same lie in the past, so it was consistent and didn't seem too strange.
But then the days slowly passed by, and Josuke still had yet to return to his home. Tomoko had become more aggressive. She had made frequent calls to his personal phone, Josuke had told her his number some time ago, asking if she could speak with her son. He had told her more lies to try and placate her. To try and stop the slight glares she would send him whenever she visited his hotel and asked if Josuke was here.
He had realized that if nothing were done, Tomoko would stop asking and start demanding. He could tell she barely restrained herself from yelling whenever they talked. He could see the small twitches her hands would make whenever he denied her. If her anger was anything like her son's whenever someone insulted his hair...he would rather avoid facing off against a pissed off mother.
So with a few calls to the Speedwagon Foundation, he had constructed an intricately planned story.
And the next time he saw Tomoko, he told her a new lie.
That Josuke was studying abroad.
Of course, the instant those words left his mouth, Tomoko immediately let all her doubt and mistrust pool into her expression. She immediately glared at him, and in that moment, she knew that he was lying to her.
That is, until he showed her the papers.
The employees at the Speedwagon Foundation were some of the best when it came to forgery. Several times when he had been sent on quests to find rogue Stand Users, he had the foundation make him fake passports or ID's to get into several different countries. By now, he had at least twenty-three different passports, each one filed under a different name he kept back at his home. The foundation could create fake documents that would even slip under the CIA's radar. They looked so authentic that no one, not a single government organization or group, not in the seventy plus years since they were founded, had ever been able to tell that something they forged was a fake.
So showing Tomoko a list of transcripts, scholarships, several letters from real high schools including Josuke's own and colleges that wanted him to take up fake boarding school programs, a strongly worded letter of recommendation written by himself, had lessened the hostility taking shape in her features.
He quickly explained that after seeing him researching local starfish, Josuke had shown a passion for marine biology. He told him he saw that the teen was in interested in marine life, so he had given him some practice test, to see just how much knowledge he had on the subject at hand, and Josuke's results had shocked him. The teenager had done remarkably well, and he had seen just how much Josuke loved marine life. After pulling some strings, Josuke had met with several of his colleagues and friends and they too saw the potential the high school student had. So, they had given Josuke a list of schools that had study abroad programs he could apply to, and promising to put a good word for him to every and any school he wished to join.
Tomoko was still skeptical. Why hadn't her son discussed this with her his plans of studying abroad? Why hadn't she heard even a peep from Josuke in the days and why couldn't she talk to him? Why hadn't he even said goodbye to her?
Why had her son, the person who loved Morioh from the bottom of his heart, just like his grandfather, decide to just leave?
These were all fair question, and he had an answer to every single one.
He told her that the process was rigorous. He told her that the moment Josuke was accepted, he had to study and talk with numerous professors of the school he was attending. He told her that telling mother had slipped his mind. He had been spending so much time with him and preparing for his new boarding school life he had honestly forgotten. And by the time he wanted to tell Tomoko, he was already off. And the reason why he couldn't call him was that he was still settling in his new home. He wanted to call his mother and tell her how he was doing, but there weren't many phones in the school and he didn't get many chances to use them since he was constantly busy. The life of a man studying to become a marine biologist was extremely difficult. However, he told her that he could send her that when Josuke did get fully adjusted to his new schedule, he would call her immediately.
He told Tomoko that Josuke had promised he would call her as he dropped his Uncle off at his new school.
He made sure to add that Josuke felt guilty about not telling his own mother. He told her how her son had felt awful about letting such a thing escape him. Josuke did not mean to leave his mother without saying goodbye or telling her his plans, but he had been too caught up in his studies. He had been too focused on trying to get into the boarding school that he acted like, in his words, a dumbass.
Tomoko still wanted to know why Josuke chose to leave Morioh behind.
Why he had chosen to leave her behind.
It was no secret to him that Josuke Higashikata loved his mother from the bottom of his heart. The only thing that ever came close to his love for Tomoko was his love for his home and friends. So it was suspicious that her son would willingly choose to be separated from the things that mattered most to him.
He had explained that Josuke would return immediately to Morioh the moment his boarding school program ended. It wasn't that he didn't love Morioh anymore, they both knew that the boy's love for his home was perhaps greater than even his grandfather's. And it certainly wasn't that he didn't love his mother anymore; not that Tomoko needed him to tell her that. The reason why was because that Josuke had recently been concerned about his future. He had been wondering what he should do with his life now that he was getting closer to adulthood.
And with his grandfather's sudden death, he had begun to realize how short life could truly be.
He knew using her father's death as a reason for Josuke's decision was cruel. It was something that left his mouth with a bad taste. But it was better than telling her he had no idea where her son was.
Better than telling her there was a chance Josuke might be dead.
Her suspicion once again decreased once those words left his mouth. And after about another hour of talking, he was able to convince her. She was still upset but was far less so than before.
And ever since then, she had often invited him to her house. She wanted to know if he had any information on how Josuke was doing at school. He often told her the same answer. That he had received letters from colleagues over at his school saying that his Uncle was doing fine.
Of course, he showed her these letters. One of them said that the phones at school weren't working, so it might take some time for Josuke to contact his family again.
He did not miss the way Tomoko eyes had narrowed whenever he gave her one of his lies. Though he could tell it was mostly out of frustration at being once again being denied contact with her son. Still, as two weeks passed, she seemed to believe him more and more.
But now, something was...different.
He did not know why he felt like that there was something wrong when he walked into Tomoko's house again. There was a voice in the back of his head whispering that something was amiss about the mother of Josuke. A lingering feeling in his gut warned him that the woman in front of him was hiding something.
Years of battling Stand Users had made him learn to trust these signs. To trust the voices in his mind that warned him of danger. If his instincts were warning him something was wrong, then there most likely were right.
But still, he entered the house. Because if Tomoko had something in store for him, he rather not prolong whatever it was.
He took another sip of his coffee.
"I have to say, I was really shocked when you walked through my door."
His eyebrows rose.
"Why's that?"
Tomoko's smile grew.
"Because I still can't believe that you have a daughter."
He let out a small grunt. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"You're not the first to think the same."
He had a daughter. What was the big deal about that? Plenty of people on the planet had kids.
He looked towards a window on the far wall to the left. He could see a soccer ball being flung high into the air before coming back down to the ground and out of view. It then reappeared, this time flying even higher than before.
He could faintly see locks of hair done in a bun-shape when he squinted his eyes.
"I don't see why so many people are so surprised when I say I have a daughter."
Joylene was currently playing outside by herself. He figured it would be better for her to get some fresh air as opposed to sitting on the sofa bored out of her mind while he talked to Tomoko.
"Well, I think what really shocks people is the fact that such a cute girl can be related to such a frightening looking man."
He made sure that his face remained in the same stoic front it always had on. Because right now he could feel his lips threatening to turn into a smile.
"Oh? I look frightening? And here I thought I gave off a warm and cuddly vibe to other people."
Tomoko had to bring a hand to her mouth as she let out a short snort.
"Damn it, that was good."
This time he did allow his lips to curl into a small grin.
He had grown to like Tomoko after spending so much time at her house. She was someone who was honest. Someone who wasn't afraid to be blunt. She was the type of person who wasn't afraid to speak her mind when she wanted to.
Which was partially why he felt that something was wrong.
For she had yet to ask a single question about how Josuke was doing.
Usually, she would almost immediately ask if he had heard any word from her son. But he had been in her house for the past hour and she had yet to even mention Josuke. Instead, she had just been asking questions about anything other than Josuke.
This was strange. Tomoko was plotting something.
He took another sip.
And his instincts told him that Josuke's mother knew how suspicious she was acting. That she knew she was setting off the tiny voices in his head that were now warning him.
She was enjoying this. Whatever she was planning-.
"Hey, Jotaro."
Her words interrupted his thoughts.
"Yes?"
He watched as she placed her elbows on the table. Both of her hands rested underneath her chin as she stared right at him.
"I was wondering, what's your wife like?"
Yeah. Something was going on.
He raised a single eyebrow
"My wife?"
Tomoko had asked about his wife before. It was after he had told her he had a daughter. He would say she was surprised when he told her, but a gaping mouth and widened eyes made him feel like shocked was a more accurate description. Back then, he had told her almost everything about his wife and kid. He had answered any question she had.
So why was she asking again?
"I thought we already talked about her?"
Her smile grew just a little bigger.
"Well, yeah, once. But you didn't really go into that many details about her. "
"I didn't notice."
"I mean, I don't think you ever once told me how you two met. Or when you realized you wanted to marry her."
"Is that really important?
Once again, her smile grew. Though this time, there was something there. Something that lingered on her lips before disappearing.
Whatever he had seen looked...almost challenging.
"Well, to me it is. I love hearing about how cute couples meet."
He resisted the urge to narrow his eyes.
His family...he made it rather obvious that he wasn't exactly...good at describing the moments most would gush over. When people asked how they met, he would just sum it up in one sentence.
"I'm pretty sure by now you've realized how bad I am about describing those kinds of moments from my past."
"Yeah, I know."
Tomoko eased back into her chair. She crossed one leg over her knee.
"But I'm really curious to see what kind of a woman could get you to settle down."
She was genuinely curious. She honestly wanted to know what woman could make him...fall in love.
Ugh. Even in his thoughts that sounded overly sentimental.
But there was something else. Slipped in between her words was a steel he had only seen from warriors from his past. And there was something else lurking within her voice. Something that waited patiently, and when the time was right, would strike.
Tomoko had some kind of hidden weapon up her sleeve. And she was only going to use it after he answered her.
He let out a sigh and took another sip of his coffee.
There would be no use in trying to delay or stall her.
He gently placed the cup down on the table.
"We met while I was doing research back in Osaka."
And by research, he meant tracking down some lunatic Stand User.
"She was a tourist from America. The very first thing she asked me was 'Hey, fuckface, do you know where Osaka Castle is?'"
He saw Tomoko smirk.
"Heh. Should've known you'd go after women with bad attitudes."
"Actually, she just misspoke. She knew how to speak Japanese, but it had been a while since she had to use the language, so she was a little rusty in some areas. She almost immediately realized what she said, and apologized to me for being so rude."
He looked up at the ceiling. He could almost see her flushed face, he still remembered that mortified look even to this day.
"Before she apologized, my first thought upon meeting her was that she had a lot more balls than most people I've met."
The smirk turned into a smile.
"And then?"
"Then we went our separate ways. But somehow, we kept bumping into each other."
He knew how, of course. The bastard he was hunting had a Stand with the power of attraction. It could make it so that two objects would eventually find themselves converging with each other. It was no coincidence that he kept running into his wife. In fact, everyone around him kept meeting with people they had bumped into at some point during the day. The Stand's range was incredible, but the only problem was that its user couldn't lock in on his position. So it had to unleash its power throughout the city in order to properly find him.
And one point he had to pummel a building heading to crush him.
"Ahh, like a cheesy romantic comedy."
"My thoughts exactly."
"So, when did she start to melt your cold heart?"
"Never."
She seemed to think that was a joke.
It was not.
"As we kept bumping into one another, we learned more about each other. Even back then, I had to admit that she...wasn't the worse person I had ever met."
"How kind."
"Back then, that was honestly the closest I had ever come to genuinely complimenting a woman."
"You're a true gentleman."
The sarcasm in her voice was thick. There was a mocking gleam in her eyes as her smile grew.
She leaned in a little closer to the table.
"So then what happened?"
"Then, as the day went by, I grew to like her. I wouldn't say I was in love, but I did enjoy having her around. At the end of the day, she had to return home to America suddenly because her mother had fallen ill. So we exchanged information to keep in touch and she flew back to America.
"And what did you after that?"
"I watched some fireworks."
Fireworks caused by him having Star Platinum beat the shit out of the scrawny bastard he had been hunting and sending him flying into a nearby gas station.
The embers from the giant fireball that erupted into night sky were enough to light his cigarette.
"As the years went by, we kept contacting each other, arranging times when we could meet face to face. And eventually..."
He paused. He wasn't sure how to phrase this.
"I figured that she was probably the best women for me to marry."
Tomoko blinked, now looking interested in his last words.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that she was probably the closest thing I could find to my ideal version of a wife."
Her eyes narrowed.
"And why's that?"
He let out another sigh.
This was why he never talked about his love life.
"Because she didn't really have a lot of baggage to her."
Tomoko raised an eyebrow.
"Come again?"
"She didn't really have any issues, mental or physical. She didn't have any drama from her past that may one day come back to haunt her. She had no enemies and had led a fairly morally upright life."
Blue eyes looked straight at Tomoko.
"I enjoy talking with her. Spending time with her. So it wasn't that hard to imagine living the rest of my life with her. I decided that marrying her would probably lead to a family life with little to no issues."
Tomoko's lips turned into a frown as she slowly processed his words.
"So...you wanted a wife who was...low maintenance?"
"That's one way to put it."
There was a beat. Neither he nor Tomoko said anything. The only thing she did was narrow her eyes to slits.
"A wife...who didn't require a lot of effort."
He sighed.
"Yeah."
He was well aware of how that made him look. As if he didn't care about his wife as a person. As if he was just a cold bastard who decided to get married on a whim.
And in all honesty, that statement wasn't that far off from the truth.
He knew that Tomoko would view him in a different light now. After all, to her, it seemed like he had chosen a woman who he knew wouldn't require a lot of patience or care. And to the woman who his shitty gramps left, this would probably-.
"I guess can kinda understand that."
...Huh.
He honestly didn't expect those words.
He raised an eyebrow.
"I figured you'd be a bit mad once I told you that."
Tomoko shrugged.
"Well, I've learned that men have a lot of preferences for women. Some want them to have blond hair, or big tits, or something along those lines. Some want their possible future wife to be nice, loving and caring. But in my opinion, I don't really care what is it exactly about their appearance or personality that makes someone wants to get married."
Her eyes became...distant. They held a nostalgic look as she let out a tiny sigh. She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, before looking back at him.
"So long as they're happy together, I think that's all that matters. So long as they treat the other right, always be there for each other, I won't care what exactly was the reason that made either person decide to start a family together."
She turned her head to the left, her eyes now staring at the window on the wall. And as she did so, a soccer ball came into view.
"And despite the fact that you're an incredibly cold, borderline unfeeling, person Jotaro...would it be safe to say that your wife...that Jolyne makes you happy?"
"Of course."
He didn't even have to think about her question. His response was immediate.
He cherished them. He was horrible at expressing himself. He absolutely hated showing an emotional side under any circumstance. But he still cared for his family.
For his family...for his wife... for Jolyne... he'd do anything to keep them happy.
To protect them.
"I can honestly say that since I got married I've...changed. For the better."
Tomoko didn't turn around to face him. She just kept staring at the window.
"Would you do anything for them?"
"Yes. I would."
He saw her lips slowly turning into a frown.
"So...in that case, what would you do then...if someone you knew took Jolyne away from you."
He did not respond.
Tomoko's fingers clenched into a fist.
"What would you do...if someone took your baby, the person you've raised, the person you loved..."
Those last words were said in a barely contained growl.
"If someone took away the only family you had...what would you do, Jotaro?"
He could feel the acid in her words. It dripped to the floor, slowly advancing towards him with a vengeful glare.
Tomoko had turned to face him. Her eyes were vicious. Her entire body was tense. It was taking everything she had not to leap over the table to strangle him. To beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
He calmly raised an eyebrow.
"When did you figure out I was lying to you?"
He wouldn't play dumb. That would only make her more pissed off.
"When did I figure it out?"
She laughed. It was incredibly bitter. Her lips moved into a mocking smile as she continued to let out a round of sarcastic chuckles.
"Since the fucking beginning!"
She slammed her hands onto the table as she stood from her chair. The mugs of coffee shook and almost fell over.
"Did you really think I would ever believe that Josuke would ever willingly leave Morioh behind!?"
He saw her fingers curl into fists.
"How stupid do you think I am?!"
He could hear the fury in her voice. She glared at him with a face that would make some of the asshole's from his past wither under.
"When you showed me all those bullshit papers, I tripled check every little thing on them. I called Josuke's school, the colleges, even the professors you listed and they all supported your story."
He knew that. They had all contacted him after they finished talking with Tomoko to let him know she was asking questions. Though, he felt it would be unwise to interrupt her.
"But I knew there was something wrong. Ever since you got here..."
She paused; her fury faded somewhat. Her eyes glanced at the floor as she bit her lip. She was remembering something. From her expression, it didn't look like a pleasant memory.
"Josuke has...changed."
He tensed.
Changed in what way?
"I can't remember anything from July 15th. That whole day is a blank for me."
That was when Enigma had turned her into a piece of paper. When Josuke had turned that bastard into a book.
"When I woke up, Josuke told me that I had collapsed and he had taken care of me the whole day."
Her anger returned. It burned throughout her face as she snarled.
"Back then...I honestly believed him. But now looking back, there was something...different about Josuke."
Tomoko's expression became irritated. Like she had just realized something she should have seen a long time ago.
"He...shit, I don't know how to say it! When he lied, he didn't show any of his usual tells. He acted like nothing was wrong, he gave me that sweet smile of his to try and get me to stop worrying. But...when I think about the look in his eyes..."
He felt his eyes narrow. He remembered the expression Josuke wore after the teen told him he beat Miyamoto Terunosuke and his Stand. Now that he thought about it, his face at that time was similar to an expression he had seen on the high school teen before.
It was almost exactly like the expression he had on after turning Angelo into a rock.
Damn it.
"It was like...there was something wrong with his expression. But...You couldn't tell unless you really looked into his eyes. He pretended everything was alright on the outside, but once you looked into his eyes, you could see. You could see what was going on inside him. It was like there was some...darkness growing inside him. Like it just kept building up and crawled inside him and he didn't even seem to care about it."
Shit.
He should have known. How could he have missed that?
"It was like there was some kind of...dark fire within him."
His lips went from a thin line to a frown.
God damn it.
As she talked, worry became embedded in her words even with all the anger raging throughout her body.
He knew what she was talking about. He knew why it unsettled her.
Because he had seen it too.
A dark fire that threatened to be unleashed at a moment's notice. A frightening rage that would not be satisfied until everything that pissed it off was dead. Despite the flames that made up its very being, the storm of bottomless anger was somehow calm. Precise. It was cold rather than hot.
Because that way, it would tear apart whatever it saw as enemies with accuracy unfit for such a mass of hatred.
Something like that was growing inside Josuke.
Fuck. He should have seen it the moment Josuke told him about Enigma. How did he miss that and only realize it right now?
When did Josuke get so good at lying?
"And...I saw it before too. After my Dad...died."
Tomoko gnashed her teeth together.
And could see Josuke standing over his grandfather's corpse.
"It was a couple days after that. I was trying to be strong for him. I didn't cry, I didn't just sit on a couch and brood for hours on end. I just tried to be there for Josuke. But...one day...when I was making coffee. He..."
She paused. Sorrow began to take over her expression for a moment, but she managed to get control of herself a second later. The sadness faded back into her body as her eyes once again became vicious. She didn't want him to see her vulnerable. Not now.
"He went up to me, and he just stood next to me for a couple of minutes. I asked him what was wrong, and he gave me a hug. And then he whispered into my ear that I've been an amazing mom and told me he loved me."
She glanced at the table. Her voice was quiet now, some of the sadness from before was immersing her words.
"Neither of us had said "I love you" out loud in such a long time. I didn't know what to do. So I just stood there and wrapped my arms around him. We didn't say anything after that. We didn't cry. We just stood there. For how long I'm not sure."
Tomoko's eyes looked back at him. They slowly turned into a glare.
"Just before he hugged me, I thought I saw something in his eyes. I thought I was imagining things back then, but now I know. I know that on that day, that dark fire was there. It wasn't as big back then, but it was still burning."
Her frown got deeper.
"And these changes all happened after you arrived. Since you've got here weird shit has been happening to Morioh. People apparently living after trying to impale themselves on sharp rocks off a cliff only to bounce back up. Someone apparently living inside a giant steel tower. And then there are the people that have gone missing from town."
He frowned.
Tomoko leaned over the table.
"All this weird shit keeps happening, and for some reason, I can't help but feel like you're involved in this mess somehow."
The sarcasm in her voice only rose with every word.
"And then...you tell me, that just as all this weirdness seems to reach its peak, that my son spontaneously decided to become a marine biologist, without ever discussing it with me."
Her glare became harder; her eyes were now furious. She wanted him to regret ever lying to her. The look she had on was similar to the look her son would get when he was truly pissed off.
"I mean..."
Tomoko's voice now burned with fury. Flames resided within every one of her words.
"Marine biology, are you fucking kidding me!? The guy who's scared shitless of turtles wants to go to the place where there's thousands of them!?"
His eyes widened slightly.
He remembered the first time he saw Josuke. He could see the worry engulfing his expression as he picked up a turtle and placed it back into a fountain.
Shit...he forgot about that.
"Somehow along the way, you got my Josuke involved. And now, something's happened to him. I have no idea what, but I know it can't be good."
She once again slammed her hands on the table. With each second that passed, her anger grew.
"So you're gonna tell me just what the hell's going on. You're going to explain just what the hell happened to Josuke or else I am going to flip this table and kick your God damn ass!"
He had been threatened many times over the years. Most were by enemy Stand Users. Most were people who had a power that could defy what others would consider possible. Tomoko Higashiakta was not a Stand user. She was an ordinary mother. She had no special abilities whatsoever.
But the did not mean she wasn't dangerous.
He had fought against a man that could stop time. A blonde vampire that had broken so many of his bones and had made him bleed buckets worth of blood. Someone who was, to this date, the strongest person he had ever faced.
And the fact that the threatening look on her face was almost as menacing as Dio's told him enough. The fact that every instinct within him was screaming about how dangerous this ordinary mother was let him know one simple fact.
Pissing her off anymore would only lead to a massive headache.
So, he calmly reached for the mug of coffee and took a sip.
And after he finished, for the first time since Tomoko began her rant, he spoke.
"You want the truth?"
There was a hardened edge in his words. It was a voice that had developed after years of fighting. A voice that could intimidate even the most powerful of Stand Users. A voice that let anyone know how bad of an idea it would be to piss him off.
Tomoko Higashikata did not even blink. Her only response to his words was a glare. A glare so angry and vicious he almost felt burn his body.
"Kujo Jotaro, where the fuck is my son?"
He stared right into her eyes.
Slowly placed his coffee mug down.
And told her.
He told her everything.
About why he first came here.
The real reason behind her father's death.
The world lying underneath Morioh that normal people never knew about.
Stands.
How Josuke had dealt with his grandfather's killer.
How he had fought against several people like him.
How he had been fighting against a man even worse than the bastard that killed his grandfather.
...And that he had no idea where her son was.
She listened. She did not interrupt him once. She hadn't even asked a single question as she spoke. Even as he called Star Platinum and had it lift the table they were sitting around into the air to make sure she didn't think he was making this up. Even as he told her about things that shouldn't even exist in this world, she hadn't uttered a word.
Even as he told her that Josuke had disappeared off the face of the earth while fighting a serial killer, she just continued to stare at him with arms resting on the table and not making a single sound.
When he was done, he looked right into Tomoko's eyes.
They were full of rage.
"I'm sure you have questions-."
"No, I don't."
He could almost feel the heat from the fire in those three words.
He slowly raised an eyebrow.
"You have...no questions?"
Then she did something he hadn't expected.
She smiled.
"Well, okay, I do have just one, tiny, little, question."
The fury in her voice grew more blazing with every word. She wasn't doing anything to control her anger as her muscles tensed.
He braced himself.
Because knew what was com-.
Tomoko Higashiakta grabbed the end of the table and flipped it to the left.
The coffee mugs crashed onto the ground.
She crossed the distance between them in an instant.
And she threw a right hook that made his entire head whip to the side.
The strength of her punch easily knocked him off his chair. He could hear something cracking. His hat flew off his head as he crashed onto the tiled floor.
"Are you telling me-!"
She picked him up with one hand and just as he got to his feet she launched an uppercut at his gut. Her fist dug into his stomach as his breath left him.
"That you let Josuke turn someone into a fucking rock-!"
Another punch hit him on the left side of his chest. He was sent a few feet back as he crashed into the wall behind him.
"You allowed him to keep fighting fucking super-powered teenagers-!"
A right cross hit him in his eye. He could feel it start to swell.
Star Platinum was suddenly standing right next to him. He called it back into his soul.
He deserved this.
"You constantly let him risk his life-!"
She punched him right under his chin. Blood erupted from his mouth as he grit his teeth.
"And now, after fighting a god damn murderer-!"
Her knee slammed into his crotch.
"He somehow vanishes from Morioh-!"
Two more punches hit him in his face. He felt his brain colliding with his skull.
"And you-!"
Her punches got stronger. Her fury carried over into each strike. His ribs cracked as she threw a cross that hit him in the center of his chest.
"Have no idea-!"
He spat blood as she punched him in his stomach again.
"Where-!"
His head whipped to the left.
"The fuck-!"
More blood came from his mouth as she hit him with the strength he had only encountered from The World.
"HE IS!?"
She kicked him on his right side. The force sent him off his feet as he crashed to the floor again, his head hitting the ground with a loud thunk.
He let out a groan. He could feel the bruises that began to form on his body throb. The metallic taste of blood in his mouth was familiar. Almost nostalgic. It had been a while since he had gotten beaten this badly. He knew some of his bones were broken. It was rather hard to move without having pain shooting through his nerves.
But he still slowly got onto one knee as labored breaths exhaled from his mouth.
He was honestly surprised that Tomoko wasn't still beating him while he was down. Small mercies he suppo-.
"Why?"
Her voice was different now.
There was still anger burning within it; there was still an inferno blazing throughout every word.
But underneath that, he could hear sorrow. A cold, cruel sorrow.
He looked up.
And saw that there were tears falling down Tomoko's eyes.
Shit.
"What in the hell...were you thinking?!"
She was screaming at him. Unleashing every emotion inside her as she shouted.
"He's just a kid. He likes playing video games on his Nintendo 64. He hangs out with his friends and does dumb shit every teenager does at some point. He likes reading Dragon Ball and watching Sailor Moon!"
She brought her arm up to wipe away the tears. But new tears streamed down her face the instant she cleared the old ones.
"He's already been through shit no teenager should have to go through. He grew up without a damn father. He had to listen to people making snide comments about him just because his mom wasn't married. He had to deal with all those shitty bastards looking at him like he was something wrong with him when he was the best damn person in this entire town!"
She sniffled as her sobs became louder.d
"And the fucking crazy part is, he didn't care. He honestly gave no shits as to what those fuckers said. He just lived the way he wanted to. Even when he had so much working against him, he preserved and became a man I know my Dad is smiling at from Heaven."
She glared at him. Even with her tears, she still looked menacing.
"And then you come into his life talking about the Dad he never knew. You come into our town and tell him about this world that he didn't need to know about. You let him get into life and death fights on a weekly basis. You allowed him to turn a man into a rock, which is a fucked up punishment that no one, especially God damn teenager, should ever have to give! And now..."
She was trembling. She had to pause as she swallowed a lump in her throat.
"Now...he's gone. After you allowed him to hunt some messed up hand fetishizing serial killer who can explode people."
Her trembling got worse. She suddenly looked...frail. A word he had never used to describe her before.
"Why did you let him do this? You've apparently been dealing with crap like this for years, so why the hell did you see a need to drag a high school teenager into this shit? You could have handled this on your own. You didn't need his help. And you sure as hell shouldn't have just watched as he put a man, a scumbag but still a human being, into an inanimate object and just leave him to go insane from doing nothing. And then watch and do nothing as he does the same shit to another person. You must have seen the same darkness I saw. I..."
She placed both of her hands over her face. Her sorrow drowned the room. And with each second, it became more painful.
"I hate the fact that someone as kind as him has apparently had to do something so fucked up. That he keeps going through things that barely anyone could even begin to wrap their heads around. I know that darkness I saw in his eyes had grown, and right now, I'm scared how much he's changed because of it. I just...I want to see my son again and just..."
He could see her tears crashing against the floor.
"Just make sure...that he's okay. That even with everything he's been through... After everything, he's had to do...He's still my Josuke."
She took away her hands from her face.
Tears were still descending down her face. But her eyes were in a glare that could melt steel. They could kill any person they wanted with just a glance.
"Why...why did you do this? why...why didn't you stop him before that darkness grew again? Why did you constantly allow him to risk his life again and again?"
Her eyes glanced to the floor.
"Why didn't he tell me?"
Her voice became quiet with those last words.
Jotaro Kujo was a man had been thrown into many hopeless situations, but this was one of the worse ones yet.
Good grief...crying women...were something he wasn't good at handling. And seeing Tomoko cry made him feel like a filthy bastard.
If Josuke were here, he'd kick his ass to the damn moon for making his mom cry.
He let out a sigh. A bit of blood went down his lips as he did so before he wiped it off.
He slowly stood up, his legs wobbling slightly as he did so, but he eventually managed to get on his feet.
He pushed aside his pain.
And then he spoke.
"Tomoko, on the day you're father died, Josuke was about twenty feet away. Angelo had killed your Dad when he was so close, and he still couldn't do anything."
Tomoko's expression grew more venomous with each word.
"You motherfu-!"
"When I found him standing over his corpse, I could see that dark fire burning in his eyes. He wanted revenge. He wanted to channel his anger into his Stand and beat the ever-loving shit out of the man who hurt his family."
She was stepping closer to him. He could already see she was getting ready to punch him.
"But there was something else I saw."
She stopped moving.
"I saw something I never thought I see from a man who just lost someone they loved."
She was still glaring at him...but he could see she was at least listening to his words.
"...What did you see?"
He saw his hat was on the floor a few feet away from him. He slowly bent down to pick it up as he wiped away any dirt it had gotten.
"Underneath all that hatred...that burning fury...that dark fire..."
He put his hat back on top his head.
"I saw a sense of justice that shined as bright as a diamond."
Even with all his anger, Josuke still hadn't succumbed to the darkness infesting his body. Even when his rage continued to burn within him, he still held onto himself. He wanted to kill Angelo, but that wasn't all he wanted to do.
He wanted to protect his town in the same way his grandfather did. This belief embedded itself into Josuke's soul. And he knew that Josuke would always hold onto that same idea that his grandfather held to the end.
"There was a darkness in him. You're right that I did see that. Hell, he probably still has it. But I also saw a will that wanted to do the right thing. I saw a person who wanted to make sure that no one else had to die like his grandfather did."
Tomoko's glare lessened.
"I won't lie-."
"Anymore that is."
"Some of the things Josuke has done are fucked up. And I'm sure that dark fire gets stronger whenever he does something like turning people into books or rocks. I could have done more to help him deal with that darkness if I was more...open."
Sometimes he really hated just how cold he could be.
"Perhaps I shouldn't have involved him in this. Maybe I could have handled this on my own. I could have told him to leave Angelo to me and to live a normal life. I could have asked him to stop involving himself in this kind of shit at any time. But I didn't. Do you want to know why?"
Tomoko's was no longer glaring at him.
"Because I knew, that no matter what I said, he would involve himself. If he saw some injustice going down in his home, he'd risk his life to put an end to it. The moment he realized just how much evil lurked in his town was the moment he decided he would do anything to stop it."
He let out a long breath.
"Because Josuke has a Golden Spirit. A will to always stand up to the people who want to hurt the innocent. A soul that radiates justice with every step he takes."
He looked into her eyes.
"And in his eyes, there's a righteous fire that will always burn away the darkness within him."
He looked down at the floor.
"Really, he's a lot like me when I was his age."
He wasn't sure if that was a good thing.
He looked back at Tomoko.
She didn't say anything. The only sound he could hear was the slight ringing in his ear.
But slowly, she brought her arms up and wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her shirt.
"That...that does sound like Josuke."
There wasn't any anger in her words. Sadness still swirled within her expression, but it wasn't as large as before.
"I'm truly sorry that Josuke disappeared under my watch, Tomoko. But I know he's alive. There's no way someone like him would die in such a shitty way."
His words actually made her smile. She let out a small chuckle as she finished wiping away the tears.
"Heh...I won't lie, I honestly thought that by the end of our talk I would put you in a body bag."
She probably would have.
"But...you have a point. Josuke...he wouldn't ever sit down and let some jackass do what he wants. Guess he's a lot more like my Dad than I thought."
She glared at him.
"I'm still pissed though...just not nearly as much as before."
"I can understand that."
He really could. What kind of mother would be okay after learning that her son constantly risked his life? That there was some kind of dark fire within him that seemed to be changing him? In all honesty, had someone told him the same thing about Jolyne, he would have done the same thing Tomoko had done to him.
Only he wouldn't be the one throwing the punches.
"You really mean it, right?"
She stopped glaring at him as she took a step forward.
"Josuke...He's out there somewhere, right? He's not-."
"I wouldn't say otherwise unless I was sure."
He could feel his expression harden. He spoke each word with a fierceness that surprised even him. He made it sound like he was stating a fact.
"You'll see your son again."
He adjusted the rim of his hat.
"I should go now."
There was nothing left to be said.
He turned around and began to walk forward. The moment he took a single step, he could no longer ignore his injuries. Pain began to spread throughout every inch of his body. With every movement he made, a bringing ache would grip his limbs. It was getting harder to see out of one eye.
"Wait."
He made about five steps before Tomoko spoke. He turned his head to the side.
Tomoko was looking at the floor. Specifically, the parts that were covered with his blood. And then she looked at his body.
"You...look like you could use some bandages."
He almost sighed.
"It's fine. This is far from the worse beat down I've taken."
Though, it was still pretty bad.
"I'll be fine in a couple days."
"Yeah but..."
She trailed off. She slowly pointed a finger to the left. He followed the direction she was pointing in.
And he saw a soccer ball once again fly into the air through a window.
"I don't think Jolyne will like seeing her dad coughing blood."
He paused for a moment.
"...Good point."
Tomoko let out a laugh.
He was glad she was laughing again. It was a lot better than her crying.
And hopefully, the next time he came over to talk, without any lies this time, he wouldn't be swallowing his own teeth.
And maybe by then...if they were lucky...maybe they'd find Josuke by then.
Hopefully, anyway.
Hey guys!
I'm currently hard at work at the next chapter! Sorry it's taking so long, there are just some scenes that I've been writing are really hard to nail and I've been pulling my hair out because of it! Right now, it's about 1/3rd complete, so hopefully I'll be able to upload it by the end of the month.
But, there are other things I've been working on. Whenever I slam my head against the wall trying to figure out how to write a scene for the next chapter, I work on other things in order to keep my health afloat.
Also, I have an announcement to make. This fanfic got its very own TV Tropes page! If any of you guys can, please, add to it. I really appreciate all the people who have already added to the page, and hopefully it keeps on growing!
I hope you enjoy this side story, and I promise I'll try my best to get the next chapter out as soon as I can!
Peace!
