One thing about coming from a rich family that Addison loved was that she rarely had to fly on a commercial jet. Flying on a private jet was so much less stressful! Addison looked out the window of the plane smiling as she remembered the previous night. She looked over at Derek, who was sleeping across from her. Was he serious about what he said last night? Was he really going to try this time? She also couldn't get out of her head what he had told her about almost kissing Meredith. What would have happened if she hadn't passed out?
"Ugh! I have to stop worrying about all of this! I have to forgive him just like he forgave me. At least, I think he has forgiven me." she thought. Soon she had drifted off to sleep as well.
They arrived in New York in the late afternoon. As they loaded their stuff in to the car, Addison noticed how quiet Derek was. He had barely said two words to her since they landed. She knew he was dreading going to the Brownstone as much as she was.
As they were driving towards their house, Derek kept looking out the window. It felt so strange to be in New York. Had it really only been 18 months since he had left? In some ways, it felt like a lifetime ago. He had so many emotions going through him, it was hard to know really what he was feeling. On one hand, he was really excited to see his family again. He had missed all of them. But on the other hand, he was about to enter the place his world fell apart for the first time in a year in a half.
The car pulled up to the Brownstone, they unloaded their luggage, and slowly walked up to the front door. "TIme to rip off the band aid." Derek said with a pained expression on his face.
"No anesthesia. " Addison replied quietly.
Derek looked at her, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Everything looked exactly the same as he stood in the entryway. The grand staircase to his left. The sitting room to the right. The living room in front of him. He looked at the stairs for a long time, full of anger, shame, and regret as he remembered the last time he was there.
18 months ago
Derek could not believe what he was seeing. His best friend and his wife were having sex, in his bed. He felt like he was in a dream. "What the hell?" he yelled.
Addison pushed Mark off of her. "Derek!" they both yelled.
Derek immediately turned around and left the room.
"Get out of here!" Addison yelled at Mark as they both threw their clothes on, tears streaming down her face. She chased after Derek ignoring all the protests Mark was giving. Mark left, knowing there wasn't anything he could say or do to make this situation better.
Addison ran all over the house looking for Derek. Next thing she knew, he was coming down the stairs with an armful of her clothes. He threw them out the front door all over the steps. She ran up to him, pulling on his arm. He proceeded to push her out the door into the rain.
"Derek! Please! Let me in." she cried banging on the locked front door.
Derek looked through the door at Addison crying outside. She was barely clothed and was getting wet. As angry and hurt as he was by what he saw, he knew he couldn't leave her out there. He slowly opened the door and Addison flew into his arms.
"Derek. Please let me explain! " she sobbed. Derek pried her arms off his neck and backed up.
"You can't leave! We won't survive if you leave now." Addison said. He barely even heard her. He was in such a daze and didn't want to be here. He turned around, walked out the door, and left a sobbing Addison balled up on the stairs.
"Derek." Addison said quietly, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"
Derek looked at her with pain in his eyes, but it wasn't for what she thought it was. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. "I am so sorry." he whispered in her ear over and over again.
She pulled back and looked him in the eye. "What for?" she asked thoroughly confused. She thought the hurt and anger she saw on his face was at memories coming back from seeing Mark and her together. But in reality, he was angry at himself for how he just left her crying on the stairs and for having no contact with her for months.
"I shouldn't have pushed you out in the rain. I shouldn't have left you crying on the stairs. I should have listened to you. After 11 years of marriage, you at least deserved that much. I am sorry." he said pulling her back in to a hug.
Addison felt his tears soaking her shirt as he held her crying. She too was crying. They stood there for a long time, just holding each other. Finally, Addison stepped back. "I forgave you a long time ago." she said.
Derek leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I too have forgiven you for Mark." It was the first time he had said it to her.
He took her hand and led her up the stairs. When he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see it looked completely different. The walls had been painted. There was new furniture. New bedding. He looked at Addison questioningly.
"I, uh, should have told you." she stammered. "When I didn't hear from you for a month, I decided to remodel our bedroom. I couldn't handle coming into this room with all the memories of you, and, uh, and what happened with Mark. I thought my marriage was over and needed a fresh start."
Derek looked at her and said, "Did you ever sleep with Mark in this bed? When you stayed with him after I left?" He barely got the words out, but he needed to know the answer.
"No." she said quietly. "We only ever stayed at his place. He hasn't been back to this house since that night."
They proceeded to get ready for bed in silence. So much had happened is such a short time.
"Derek." Addison said as they were getting in to bed. "I am really nervous about meeting with Dr. Koracick tomorrow." It was the first time she had mentioned anything related to the tumor since they discussed it before leaving the hospital in Seattle.
"I know." Derek said pulling her to him. "I am too. I know the chances for complications are very slim, but it is definitely different when it is my wife getting operated on. Especially when I am not the one operating. No matter what happens, Addie. I am here."
Derek continued to hold her until she fell asleep. He on the other hand was having a very difficult time falling asleep. Even though the room was redecorated, and they were in a different bed, every time he closed his eyes, Derek saw Addison and Mark having sex. Yes he had forgiven her, but it was a hell of a lot harder to forget.
He gently eased Addison off of himself and went downstairs. He looked aimlessly on the bookshelves for a book that might help him fall asleep. It was there that he found a very old photo album that he hadn't looked at in a long time. It was an album of him growing up. Many of the pictures were of his dad, Mark, and him. Pictures from summer camp outs, from baseball games, of the fort his dad helped them build when they were 10.
As Derek continued to look through the photo album, he was filled with a deep sadness. He missed the closeness he had with Mark when they were kids. He had been his brother. Mark spent more nights at Derek's house than he had his own. He wondered if he would ever have that closeness with him again. He knew he would see Mark tomorrow at the hospital and didn't know how he felt about it. He realized deep down he had forgiven Mark, but he also realized that he would never look at him the same way again.
Derek turned a few more pages in the photo album until he came across a picture of just his dad and him. He pulled the picture out of the sleeve and just stared at it. They were standing in front of Yankee's stadium. Derek's dad's arm was draped around his son's shoulders. Derek was holding a new glove in his hand with a huge smile. He remembered this trip well but hadn't thought about it in many years. It was a special trip his dad had taken him on for his 13th birthday. A kind of coming of age trip. They had gone camping for a couple of days and then ended the trip with a visit to NYC. Derek turned the picture over and was shocked to find his dad's handwriting on the back. "It's all about the G.L.O.V.E." it said.
24 years earlier
Derek was so excited about his trip with his dad. He couldn't wait to get away from all the drama that his sisters caused. "Just the two Shepherd men." That is what his dad had said. He was now 13 and his dad had said that this was a "man's trip". Derek didn't quite know what he meant by that but he was excited to hear his dad refer to him as a man!
Derek and his dad had arrived at the lake an hour ago and had set up camp. "Dad, come on. Let's go fishing. I am starving!"
"Derek." his dad chuckled. "You just had a ton of food in the car ride here! You can't be THAT hungry!"
"Dad. I am a teenager now. I am always hungry." Derek said seriously.
"Ok. Ok." his dad said. "But before we go fishing, I want to talk to you. Come sit down."
Derek walked over and sat down by his dad. He looked so serious, Derek wondered if he was in trouble.
"This is a special trip, Derek." his dad began. "I told you it was a man's trip. Part of being a great man is how you treat women. Especially your wife."
"My wife?" Derek asked confused. "I am 13 Dad. I don't think I will have a wife for a long time."
"I know son, but it will be here before you know it. I want to give you something that is the key to being a good husband." He then proceeded to reach in to a bag and pull out a baseball glove. He handed it to Derek. "This son is the key. It's all about the glove."
Derek thought his dad was losing it. "A glove? What am I supposed to do, teach my wife to play baseball?"
"No." his dad laughed. "That is what this trip is about. Learning that it's all about the glove. Now, how about we go fishing before you starve to death!"
Later that night as they were sitting around the campfire, his dad said, "Give her grace."
"What?" Derek asked baffled.
"The G is for Give your wife grace."
"Oh. You mean the G in glove?" Derek said beginning to understand this trip was going to be a lot more serious than their other camping trips.
"Derek, when you are married, there is going to be times when your wife does things that make you really mad. That may even hurt you. During those times, you need to remember to give her grace."
Over the next few days, while they were fishing, hiking, or just hanging out, Derek's dad continued to explain what the letters were for
L:Love her through the hard times.
O: Outlandish, romantic gestures.
V: Very frequent love making
E: Everyday find something to laugh about.
Derek hadn't thought about the G.L.O.V.E. acronym in many, many years. Two years after that trip, his dad had died. Derek thought over the last 12 years of his marriage in the context of the acronym. In the early years, he had done all of those things. Over the last 5 or 6, however, he had gotten worse. Now, he was even failing at the V.
Derek got up and went up to the attic. He was digging around in boxes when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Derek. It is 2 in the morning. What are you doing?" Addison asked him sleepily.
"I am looking for the baseball glove my dad gave me." he said as if it made perfect sense. "It's all about the glove."
"Um. I don't understand, but I can help you look."
They looked for another 10 minutes until Derek yelled, "I found it!"
"Great. Now can we go back to bed?" Addison asked.
"Addie, I want to tell you why this glove is so important to me." He then proceeded to tell her about the trip. "I completely forgot about this glove until I saw the picture tonight. My dad was right about all of it. I want to keep this glove out where I can see it and never again forget that It's all about the GLOVE."
Tears began to form in Derek's eyes. Addison pulled him close. "I miss my dad so much." he cried. "I am fairly certain if he was still alive, he would have followed me out to Seattle and dragged my ass back here. He would have reminded me about the glove."
A few hours later, the sun woke Addison up. She was confused at first as to why she was sitting in the attic with Derek's head in her lap asleep, and then she remembered. They must have fallen asleep sitting there.
"Derek, wake up." she said quietly, gently shaking him. "We need to get up and get ready. We are supposed to meet Amelia at the hospital at 10."
As they were getting ready, Derek remembered one thing he loved about their bedroom - how big the shower was. He slipped in behind Addison while she was washing her hair and grabbed her from behind.
"Oh, hi!" Addison jumped in surprise. She turned around and leaned up to kiss Derek. "What are you doing in here?"
"Having hot sex with my wife!" Derek said between kisses. "This is a lot better than in that small shower in the trailer!"
A little while later, they were getting out of a taxi and in front of Mt. Sinai. It felt very strange to be back. This had been their place of work for almost a decade, but they were not the same people anymore. It made them nervous to see their former colleagues, most of whom knew some version of their affairs. "We can do this." Derek said. "We are DerekandAddison." Addison smiled and felt a swell of love for him. He hadn't referred to them like that in several years. She took his outstretched hand, and together they entered the hospital. Whatever was about to happen, they would face it as a team.
Let me know what you think! Next chapter will involve the meeting with Dr. Koracick and Derek and Addison reuniting with friends and family that they haven't seen since before Seattle!
