The next day Addison barely saw Derek. She knew he was preparing for Caden's surgery the next day. She still missed him though. She passed the time between therapies and check ups looking through some photo albums Derek had brought her. They both hoped it would help jog her memory. As she looked through the pictures from their 30th birthday parties, a party celebrating the end of residency, and more family gatherings than she could count, Addison continued to feel as she had the past couple of days. Occasionally a memory would start to form and then slip away.
She put the the photo album down in frustration. She was staring out the window when she heard a knock on her door.
"Hey, Red. You ok?" Mark asked as he slowly entered Addison's room. He could see she was deep in thought.
"Hey Mark." Addison said sweetly. "I'm ok. I am just frustrated that I can't remember the last 7 years of my life!"
"Eh, you just want to stay in your 20s!" Mark teased.
"It was quite a shock to think I was 29 and then find out I was 37!" Addison laughed. "Can you tell me a story of something funny that happened that I am forgetting?" she pleaded.
Mark looked over at her. The stories he wanted to tell her involved the times Derek had put work before their relationship. The times Mark had stepped up in his absence. But Mark had made Derek a promise not to tell Addison what had happened. After sleeping with his wife, Mark figured he owed Derek that much.
Mark walked over and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"Ok. Do you want to hear about the food fight you started in the cafeteria or the time you dyed your hair blue?" Mark asked with a smile.
"Definitely the food fight." Addison exclaimed.
October 2002
"I am so exhausted!" Addison exclaimed sitting down next to her husband in the cafeteria. It was the wee hours of the morning. They had both been paged around 6:00 the night before for a major car accident. Addison had been operating most of the night saving the lives of a pregnant woman and her baby. Thankfully both had survived. She reached over Derek and stole some of the croutons off his salad.
"Hey!" Derek said pulling the plate away from her. "I am starving too. Go get your own food." Addison knew he was teasing. In response, she stood up and went to get a pudding cup. She purposely got Derek's favorite pudding. The kind he always ended up taking from her. When she returned, she sat down next to Mark instead of Derek.
"Why are you sitting over there?" Derek asked confused.
"So you can't steal my pudding. Since you don't want to share and all." Addison winked. Derek instantly got up and ran to the other side of the table. Addison realized what he was doing and she too jumped up. The two married attendings were smiling at each other across the table.
"What are you two doing?" Mark asked looking around to see who was watching. Thankfully there were only a few other people in the cafeteria thanks to the hour. "You realize you are acting like children, right?"
Addison looked from Mark to Derek and back to Mark again. "No, Mark. This would be acting like a child." She proceeded to walk over to Derek, stick her finger in the pudding, and wipe it across his cheek. She then went back on the other side of the table before Derek could respond. He stood there stunned for minute. Had she really just done that? He quickly recovered and tossed a crouton at Addison, hitting her on the forehead.
"Oh, you are so dead Shepherd!" Addison exclaimed. Soon they were tossing food at each other and then ducking behind the chairs. Mark got caught in the crossfire and soon joined in. Soon all 3 collapsed on the floor in a fit of laughter.
"It was such a stressful night for all 3 of us. You knew how to help us blow off some steam." Mark said, finishing the story.
"Chief Hutchingson wasn't too thrilled about it when he found out, was he?" Addison said "We had to work weekends for a month!"
"That's right, Red. You remembered something!" Mark exclaimed jumping up and hugging Addison. Addison looked at him in shock. It was true. She actually remembered the food fight and its aftermath.
It was at that moment that Derek walked in. He stopped immediately when he saw Mark and Addison hugging. Flashes of the night he had found them in bed together instantly popped in his head.
"What the hell?" Derek said angrily. Mark instantly let go of Addison and jumped back. Addison was taken aback by Derek's reaction.
"I remembered something Derek!" Addison said quickly. Derek's eyes instantly flew to Mark. Did Addison remember what happened between Mark and her? Was that why they were hugging? Mark knew exactly what Derek was thinking.
"I told her about the food fight in the cafeteria. She remembered us having to work weekends for a month after. That's it, man. I gave her a congratulatory hug. Relax." Mark clarified. He slowly backed away from Addison's bed.
"What is going on?" she asked looking back and forth between the two men, thoroughly confused.
"Nothing" they both responded at the same time. Derek did his best to calm down but the image of seeing Mark hugging his wife brought back a lot of repressed feelings of anger.
"I need to go check on Caden." Derek said leaving the room. Addison began to feel guilty as she watched her husband walk away. Why was she feeling guilty? Why was Derek so angry? Why did Mark look upset as well? There was definitely something they weren't telling her.
"Mark, what is going on?" Addison asked. Mark just looked at her and walked out of the room. He couldn't lie to her but he also didn't want to break his promise to Derek. Addison knew there was something big she wasn't remembering. She didn't know how, but one way or another, she was going to get Derek to tell her.
"Derek!" Mark yelled as he ran after him down the hall. Derek ignored Mark and entered a stairwell. Mark caught up with Derek quickly and grabbed his arm.
"Dude! What was that all about?" Mark said angrily. "You might as well tell her what happened after that! 7 years ago there is no way in hell you would have acted like that! She knows something happened!"
Derek jerked his arm away from Mark. Deep down, he knew Mark was right, but he was still disgusted by the memory of seeing his wife sleeping with his best friend.
"I just need some space Mark! I know it didn't mean anything, but all I can see in my head right now is you and Addison having sex in my bed!" He turned around and continued down the stairs hoping Mark wouldn't follow him.
Mark went back to his office in frustration. Things had been going so well between the men. He hoped this would not affect the surgery in the morning.
Derek ended up sleeping in an on-call room that night. He couldn't face Addison. He tossed and turned the whole night. He thought he was past this. The hurt and anger. He knew he had forgiven both Addison and Mark, but that didn't mean he forgot. It meant that he had made a choice to stay and work through their issues. He was not going to run.
The next morning, he went to Mark's office before the surgery.
"I am sorry about yesterday." Derek said to Mark. "I shouldn't have gotten angry like that."
"Derek, it is ok to be angry and hurt about what happened. What we did was horrible. What is not fair is to take it out on the Addison upstairs who has no memory of it. Or at least it isn't fair if you haven't told her." Mark answered.
"I know." Derek said running his hand through his hair. "We go home tomorrow. I will tell her once we are home."
Mark looked at his friend and just shook his head. "Come on. Let's go to surgery."
Caden's surgery lasted longer than he had expected, but he was successfully able to remove the tumor. It was late afternoon before he was done, and he knew Addison was going to be pissed at him. He hadn't talked to her since storming off almost 24 hours ago.
Addison sat in her bed reading a medical journal. It was so weird to be reading an article she wrote but had no memory of. The one thing that really was odd, was that it said "Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepherd of Seattle Grace Hospital." Seattle? Why didn't it say Mt. Sinai? She had so many questions and neither Derek or Mark had come back to her room since they stormed off yesterday. She knew they had a big surgery today, but still. What were they hiding?
The good thing was that she no longer was exhausted during therapy and could even get a shower by herself again! She was so ready to go home in the morning!
Addison was so deep in thought, she didn't hear Derek enter the room.
"My lady" he said getting her attention. "Your chariot awaits." He was dressed in a tuxedo with a wheelchair in front of him. He also had a beautiful black dress slung over his arm. He held it out to her.
"What are you doing?" Addison asked, trying to hide her smile. She wanted to stay mad at him, but his big romantic gestures always made her melt.
"I am taking my love out for dinner. Well, not really "out", more like up." he said pointing to the ceiling. "I also brought a dress for you, but I wasn't sure if you felt up to changing. You look beautiful in whatever you wear." he said shyly.
Addison just stared at him in disbelief. He had said those exact words to her 13 years ago.
13 years ago
Addison walked out of the scrub room exhausted. She had been working over 24 hours and had barely slept. She was covered in more bodily fluid than she cared to think about, and she hadn't seen her boyfriend in several days besides passing each other in the halls of Mt. Sinai. But she was living her dream.
As she turned the corner, Addison stopped dead in her tracks. Derek was standing in the middle of the hallway with a dozen roses dressed in a tuxedo. He had a black dress draped over his arm.
"My Love. I am here to whisk you away to a fancy dinner with an amazing view." Derek said grinning. Addison walked up to him and gave him a quick kiss.
"Oh really. And where would that be?" she laughed.
"You will just have to come with me to find out." he teased. "I also brought a dress for you, but I wasn't sure if you felt up to changing. You look beautiful in whatever you wear."
Addison just looked at him. "Oh really? I look beautiful covered in puke, poop,and pee?" She had been working with babies all day and still hadn't figured out the art of changing diapers!
Derek looked her up and down. "Yes, dear. You look divine!"
Addison laughed, took the dress out his arms and went to the locker room. Twenty minutes later, she was ready. Derek led her to the elevator.
"Derek, where are we going?" she asked leaning her head on his shoulder. It felt so good to be spending time with him.
"We are going to have a romantic dinner on the roof," he said, laughing at the surprised look on her face.
"Seriously?" Addison exclaimed. "How did you pull that off?"
"I have my ways." he said, leaning in to kiss her.
When they got to the roof, Addison saw a table and two chairs set up with candles. It was a beautiful summer night and they could see a good portion of the city from on top of the hospital.
"Wow! It is beautiful!" Addison said amazed. She turned around to give Derek a kiss but found him down on one knee. Addison gasped in surprise. She knew Derek was going to propose soon, but no part of her had expected it like this!
"Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery, I love you more than words can express. I love the way your nose crinkles when you laugh, the way your eyebrows furrow when you are mad at me, the way you chew on pens when you are deep in thought.. I love the way you challenge me and make me laugh. I love how you always have my back. I love to watch you in surgery. I want to go to fall asleep and wake up with you for the rest of my life. Will you do me the greatest honor in becoming my wife?"
Tears were pouring down Addison's face. She had been searching for such a love her whole life. She was completely speechless.
"Yes!" she finally managed to squeak out. Derek took her hand and placed the ring on it. The ring looked tiny compared to the other rings Addison had on.
"Sorry it is so small" Derek said a little embarrassed. "I could only afford a carat diamond, but I promise when I am a big, hot shot doctor, I will buy you another one!"
Addison immediately took Derek's face in both of her hands. "Derek Christopher Shepherd. This is the best ring anyone has ever gotten me. I don't want you to get another one. I love it!" She knew the fact that she was rich was always a sore spot for him.
Derek took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. The rest of the night was a blur of eating spaghetti on the roof top and having a passionate sex in the on-call room. It was one of the best nights of their lives.
"At least this time I am not covered in any bodily fluids." Addison joked. Derek laughed.
"No, but you still look just as breathtaking today as you did 13 years ago!" Derek said walking over to the bed and giving her a kiss. "I am sorry for storming off yesterday. There is a lot we need to discuss, but not until we get home. Tonight, I want to enjoy a romantic dinner with my bride."
Addison loved it when he called her "his bride". She smiled up at him and began to get up. Derek immediately put his hands out to help her.
"I am ok Derek. You haven't been here in a couple of days, but I am now able to be up and around the room by myself. Hand me the dress. I will be out shortly."
Addison walked over to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she came out. Except for the bandage on her head, you wouldn't have known she had just had surgery a few days before.
Derek wheeled Addison out of the room and to the elevator. They received a few odd looks from the few nurses in the hall. It was late, so most people were not still working. When they got to the rooftop, Addison was again surprised to see it set up exactly like it had been the night Derek proposed.
As the night progressed, husband and wife reminisced over days long gone by. Derek even shared a few stories with Addison from the last 7 years. To his surprise, she would occasionally fill in some of the story. It seemed her memory was slowly coming back. Addison really wanted to ask Derek about Seattle and why he responded the way he did, but she sensed it was going to open a can of worms. Tonight, she wanted to just enjoy a break from being in a hospital.
"Dance with me Addie." Derek said standing up. Addison stood up. Soon she heard one of her favorite songs playing from Derek's phone, I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith.
As they were dancing, Derek began to sing softly in Addison's ear
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
Tears began to form in Derek's eyes as he sang. He realized how close he had come to losing Addison. He pulled her tighter against him and continued to sing as they swayed to the music.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
As the song came to an end, Derek could no longer hold the tears in. He sat down on the roof and just let the tears flow, staring out into the bright lights of the city. Addison sat down next to him.
"Derek, are we still married?" she asked seriously.
Derek turned to look at her. "Yes" he didn't trust himself to say much more. Addison could see the question pained him.
"Let me rephrase that. Are we still happily married?" Derek remained quiet for a long time. His silence spoke volumes. Finally, he responded.
"The last 3 years or so of our marriage have been very rocky." He continued to stare out over the city. Addison too looked out over the city. She loved New York. There were so many places to shops, so many activities to do. Their family and friends were here. But she also had a gut feeling that this city now represented a sadness that she couldn't explain.
"We live in Seattle now, don't we." Addison stated.
Derek snapped his head to look at her. "Who told you that?" he exclaimed. Everyone had promised they wouldn't say anything! Was she remembering something?
Addison flinched a little at his hard response. "No one told me Derek. I read a journal article I wrote last year, of which I have no memory, and it said I worked at Seattle Grace Hospital" Derek slumped back. This he had not expected.
"Yes, we currently live in Seattle but we still have the Brownstone and Hamptons here." Addison was very quiet as she took this all in. How the hell did they end up in Seattle? She never would have moved there on her own! That much she was certain of. Derek knew Addison was really confused. He pulled her into his lap. She rested her head on his chest.
"Addie, I promise I will tell you the whole story soon. Please just wait until we get out of here."
"Ok." She responded, enjoying being held by her husband. They sat there for along time in silence. Derek eventually realized Addison had fallen asleep. He proceeded to carry her back to her room.
As Derek was trying to change Addison in to something more comfortable, she woke up.
"Derek," she said slipping on some pajamas. "Will you sleep next to me tonight?" She still couldn't remember what happened, but the bombshell of living in Seattle and having a rocky marriage made her not want to be alone.
"Of course, my love." Derek said climbing in the bed. Derek held Addison as she quickly fell back asleep.
Derek felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He saw that Meredith was calling, again. He ignored the call, again. He hadn't spoken to her since the night of the prom. He didn't want to deal with Seattle at the moment. He just wanted to hold his wife and sleep. Unfortunately, sleep was a long time coming. He knew that tomorrow would be a long, painful day trying to explain to Addison the past 3 years.
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