Chapter 11) Feathers


The days after confessing are strange. We act mostly the same around one another, except when he brushes my hair from my face, he often leans in to kiss my temple. When he catches my hand, he lifts it to kiss. I hug him when I have a free moment, and, at times, let him nap against me while I mend or make medicine. Deirdre and Aideen give us weird looks, but Lachesis and Ayra simply giggle and coo over us. Azel and Chulainn also have 'talks' that I am forbidden to ever listen in on.

A week or so after confessing, Sigurd brings his tired group to Mackily, and the infirmary swells with all the wounded. It's clear taking Heirhein and Anphony had their prices.


Sigurd sent the wounded ahead of him, guarded by a mercenary I didn't know by the name of Beowolf. He and Chulainn seemed to recognize each other, enough to chat while I directed the injured into the infirmary and divided up duties between Aideen, Lachesis, and myself, since Ethlyn remained behind with Sigurd, in case of an ambush or if someone's injury suddenly worsened. The steady stream of returning soldiers continued for a week, give or take, and the castle walls echoed with the screams of the injured and the wails of the mourning.

At the end of the week, Sigurd returned, along with Ethlyn, Lord Quan, Lord Oifeye, and others I recognized by face, such as Alec. I met them in the courtyard, thinking that Ethlyn, at least, might want to see a reassuring smile. The way she bolted for me for a hug hinted I was right.

"I received a letter from Lady Grahnye just the other day, and it has some stories about the trouble Ares and Altenna are getting into," I told her, stroking her hair as she curled into me. She didn't cry, but it was clear she had long since run out of energy. "I've got most of the injured secured as well. You did wonderfully."

"If you say so," she murmured tiredly. Still, she peeked up and managed a warm smile. "Thanks for the hug. I really needed it."

"I thought you might." I laughed a little, keeping my cheer. She needed it. "We'll gossip after you rest. You clearly need it."

"Ooo, gossip~!" She giggled, looking more like her old self. "But yeah, passing out sounds good. I'll go do that before I faint in front of everyone." She gave me a quick hug and skipped off inside the castle. I watched worriedly when I saw her trip, but Deirdre caught her and helped her walk. So, instead, I turned and gave the others my greeting. I hoped that most would find reassurance in it, since it implied their friends were not so wounded that I felt I couldn't spare this much time.

It seemed to work. I was certainly met with a lot of smiles.

"Miss Alicia!" Lord Quan's voice echoed through the crowd, and it wasn't long before he jumped out of the group, smiling far more warmly than I expected considering our last interaction. But the cheer was enough to make me smile. "I'm glad to see you're well! You will not believe how much Sigurd fretted."

"I think he frets as much as me, and I am a healer," I joked, laughing. Clearly, he was not the type to hold grudges. "Finn is fine, by the way."

"Oh, I knew he would be. You're the one healing him."

"Well, I actually left Lachesis in charge of that."

"Oh, even better~" He laughed, also clearly interested in seeing what became of Lachesis's affection and Finn's humble adorableness. "Is it alright if I visit?"

"You and he can even train in a couple of days, so long as it's light. He's in his own room. Have a servant show you." I frowned, though, and touched his cheek to angle his face better towards me. "You haven't been sleeping."

"Sigurd and I took last watch last night so that everyone could get some sleep." He shrugged, smiling wryly. "I'm fine. Remember, Ethlyn is a healer. She doesn't let me get away with even a sniffle."

"Well, of course. She won't want to catch it either." I dropped my hand, and gave him a stern look, even if I kept my smile. "You'll let me check you over when I next have a free moment, though, yes?"

"I yield." He brought his hands up in defeat. "I think I will check in on Finn, though."

"I'm sure he'll be glad to see you're safe." I struggled to think of a way to say a better farewell, but I was saved through Lord Oifeye giving me a giant hug. "Whoa!"

"Sorry, are you okay?" Lord Oifeye asked. He popped back and smiled sheepishly. Lord Quan took that opportunity to disappear. "I'm sorry. I was just really glad to see you again. Was everything alright? The letters said so, and you conquered Mackily, but-"

"Breathe, Oifeye," I chided, smiling a bit. Belatedly, I realized I'd dropped his title, but I didn't have the heart to correct myself when he smiled so brightly. "Everything is well, though things shall be quite busy."

"Do you need help?"

"I would rather you rest first, silly." I stroked his hair, smiling as he sulked. "Rest, and spend some time with Finn and Shanan. It will be good for you to relax. I'm not so overwhelmed that I'd demand assistance now. Why else do you think I'd be out here?"

"I suppose that's true." He gave me another hug, this time gentler. "I'll go talk to them, then. But if you need help, let me know!"

"I will." I hugged him back. "Go on. Check on Shanan first."

"I will!" He grinned and ran off, filled with more energy than I expected. I wondered if he'd slept on the way.

"I seem to have been abandoned by everyone." Sigurd appeared at my side, grinning. "Dare I hope for a greeting from my favorite healer?" he asked, eyes dancing. However, his tone and posture betrayed his exhaustion.

"You had best hope Ethlyn, Lachesis, and Aideen don't hear you say that," I teased. I rested my hand on his cheek as a silent acknowledgement, before letting it drop. "But, welcome to Mackily, Sigurd. Things have been quiet here, and we've many letters from Noldion for you to read."

"I'm glad to hear it's been quiet." He sighed, letting himself droop for a brief moment. He straightened almost instantly thought. "That's the first good news I've heard in a while."

"Well, we'll give you some more. But first, go see Deirdre." I smiled up at him. "She has some very good news for you."

"Oh, is it an explanation of how you all managed a bloodless takeover because I still can't believe that." Still, he relaxed, laughing. "But fine, I shall seek out my darling wife and tell her how much I missed her. I'm saddened she's not here to greet me."

"Yes, yes, go on. You may complain to her how you lost to your own sister. I last saw her helping Ethlyn."

"Alack, alay!" He bent down to give me a quick, but warm, hug. "It's really good to see you. Let's catch up after I've had a good bath?"

"Sure." I returned the hug gladly. "Anyone here I need to see in particular?"

"Well, while I'm sure Lex would love to talk to you, he's busy teasing Azel and Ayra." He pulled away and pointed to where Lex really was teasing the living hell out of the two, while Chulainn watched with that slight smile on his face. "So, there are two new members with our group. Lewyn and Sylvia."

"So, you picked up three new ones? I met Beowolf briefly." I laughed, amused for some reason. "Well, I'll go find them. You go to Deirdre, and that bath."

"Thanks, Alicia." He gave me another quick hug before disappearing into the crowd. I watched for a bit to make sure he wouldn't trip or anything, before slowly moving through the crowd, hunting for faces I didn't recognize even a little bit. While I didn't know the names of most in the army, I did know many of their voices and faces, mostly because I'd spent so much time patching most of them together. So, instead, I focused on the sound of unfamiliar accents, and soon came across two people I definitely didn't recognize.

"Well, aren't I lucky?" the man, wearing a bizarre outfit that included a scarf and a feather of all things, commented as soon as he saw him. The girl, wearing an outfit that covered so little that I worried she was actually walking around in her underwear, gave him a sulky pout before eyeing me curiously. "Another beautiful woman to grace my eyes!"

"I take it you're Lewyn?" I asked, keeping my tone polite. He nodded. "It's nice to meet you. I am Alicia, Chief Healer of the army."

"Oh, you're her. Ethlyn kept on saying how she wished you were around when we were up to our ears in injured." He winked. "She didn't mention you were so pretty though."

"I imagine I'm not her type." I shrugged before sighing. "I should let you know that I am involved with someone though." I found Chulainn in the crowd, listening to a ranting and flailing Ayra, and pointed to him. "Him to be specific."

"Wow, he's nice looking." Lewyn grinned, perfectly unrepentant. He then bowed with a little flourish. "However, I understand that my words made you uncomfortable. While they are true, I will reassure you that I have a policy to not go after women with lovers, particularly ones who look like they can break me in half with their pinky." He winked again. "Just let me know if I cross a line. The last person I want angry at me is the healer." He grinned audaciously, though. "However, I find myself so very curious about him! I think I'll bug them both!" He skipped off, laughing all the while.

"He's like the wind," the girl sighed. I guessed she was the 'Sylvia' Sigurd mentioned. Another look proved she wore a scarf with bells attached, anklets with even more bells, and no shoes. "Once you think he's staying still, off he goes."

"That does seem accurate," I murmured. Watching him instantly jump in on teasing Ayra, it was very easy to imagine him as a particularly playful breeze. "You're Sylvia, yes?"

"I am, yeah." She smiled at me. "I'm a dancer. Lewyn and I have performed together in the past. He's a bard."

"I suppose that explains a lot." I laughed a little, and tried to think of a topic. But then I noticed something that almost made me squirm. She had fading bruises right on her hip, and they looked suspiciously like someone's fingers. "You're injured."

"Hmm?" She glanced down, looking confused, before snapping her fingers. "Oh, this?" She gestured to her hip. "It's nothing big. Just a customer that got a little rough." She said the words lightly, with a smile even, but the look in her eyes was dark and sad. That told me exactly what she meant by 'customer'. "Lewyn took care of them for me, so they won't do that again to anyone."

"..." I tried to think of how to reply, so that she wouldn't think I was simply pitying her. She was a young girl who made a life for herself, however she had to. Honestly, she didn't look much older than Finn, maybe around Ethlyn's age. So, I simply smiled and gently touched her cheek. "Want me to check you over? There could be other bruises you've missed."

She eyed me warily, mentally debating thousands of things. "...You don't mind?"

"Of course not. It's my job to take care of people." I widened my smile and hoped I conveyed that I did not judge or… anything. She did what she had to do, and it was clear that even if it pained her, she didn't want pity for it. "I'll be happy to tend to you."

"...Okay." The smile she gave me then was small, far smaller than the previous, but combined with the genuine relief in her eyes, it was the brightest smile I'd ever seen. "Thanks! I appreciate it!"

Things were going to be quite a bit livelier around here. I could already tell. But it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.


I spent the next few days catching up with everyone and tending to the injured. Sigurd had comically demanded to duel Chulainn when he learned Chulainn and I were dating. Lex had laughed hard enough to fall over, before challenging Chulainn to a drinking match. I'd told them all to behave themselves, because I wouldn't treat any of the injuries or hangovers that resulted. Deirdre soon distracted everyone with the official announcement of her pregnancy, which made Ethlyn squeal and Lord Quan already make plans for getting the baby, Altenna, and Ares to be friends.

"So, do I mix them like this?" Sylvia looked at me curiously, but there was a tiny hint that she knew the answer. But she was… desperate for praise. It was clear life had not been easy for her, and she latched onto the few who were kind with everything she had. I didn't mind, though. I remembered what it was like, longing for praise. I'd just gotten it from Arvis, and it had been enough. "Alicia?"

"Sorry, I was trying to think for a synonym for 'wonderful' and came up blank," I answered, laughing a little. She giggled, preening a little. "Go ahead and mix them up then, Sylvia."

"Will do!" She laughed and went to work, carefully measuring and mixing, frowning in concentration.

I watched her work for a moment before returning to my own mending. Sylvia actually had a knack for healing, though she refused to learn staves. It was a bit of a shame, but I respected her wishes, just as I respected how she refused to let anyone see her upper back. She mentioned something about an old scar, but I wondered if it was something else. But that wasn't my business. She was great help to me, and between her, Shanan, Oifeye, and Finn, I actually had a lot of medicine on hand for the inevitable next battle. That left me plenty of time to not only mend blankets, but to even mend various other things for the army, like shirts and pants.

I finished tying off a thread, and glanced out the window, to the inner gardens of Mackily. Lord Quan and Finn were actually practicing, where I could keep a distant eye. To my surprise, they were actually joined by Lachesis and Beowolf. I wondered why, but then saw how Lachesis kept glancing at Finn and figured that perhaps she had been so distracted by her worrying that she was doing poorly in whatever Beowolf was trying to teach her. I watched the pairs for a moment before looking to another tear in the shirt I was mending and starting on that.

"Afternoon, everyone!" Lewyn appeared at the entrance to the infirmary, and was met with cheers from the patients. "Sorry, I know I'm late today," he laughed, snagging a chair and sliding it to the center of the infirmary. He bowed to me, before bringing out his flute and sitting in the chair. "So, what are the requests for today?" As always when he asked, the injured shouted all sorts of songs, so many that the names mushed together for me. However, Lewyn's eyes sharpened and I knew he was remembering each and every song requested. "Ah, there's one that caught my fine ear. We'll start with that!" By the time he took a break, I knew he'd have played through everyone's requests, just as he had the past couple of days.

Lewyn and Sylvia often performed for the soldiers during the evenings, but the injured in the infirmary couldn't make it to those performances for obvious reasons. So, Lewyn made special trips to the infirmary, early in the afternoon, to play especially for them. Having such special attention boosted their mood considerably, and I had to admit that Lewyn was very skilled at playing the flute, so it was a delight to have my afternoons filled with various songs.

Today, though, some sort of yelling stopped the songs short. A loud commotion, loud enough to make poor Finn and Lachesis jump outside, to make Sylvia stiffen and Lewyn pause mid-song, echoed through the halls. I set my mending to the side and headed out, going to investigate. It was easy to find the source, thanks to all the noise, but I was still very, very confused by the large crowd at the gates. I pushed my way to the front, wondering just where Sigurd and Deirdre were, and frowned when I saw why there was such an uproar. There were four armored women standing by pegasi. One of them, a girl with long green hair, was trying to say something, but the roar of the crowd drowned her out.

Sighing, I almost turned away to look for someone I knew, but then I noticed something. It wasn't just the four girls and their pegasi. There was a fifth among them and they were…!

"Move!" I snapped, lunging out of the crowd and bolting for the group. Someone tried to snag my arm, to keep me back, but I jerked away from whoever it was. "Let me see them!" I kept on running, pushing right past the girl to the bleeding child resting next to one of the pegasi. I'd barely seen them. "Easy… easy…" I knelt down by the child and my eyes widened when I realized the true extent of their injuries. They'd been run through, and their pulse fluttered under my fingertips when I grabbed their wrist. There wasn't much time. "Come with me to the infirmary, quickly. There's… still a chance, and I will not waste it."

"Hold on!" Someone protested behind me. I had no idea who. I didn't care. "We don't know who they are and-!"

I whirled to my feet, knowing that my temper was burning, knowing that my fury was showing on my face. "Let them through," I ordered, glaring at the entire army. "There's an injured child, and anyone who dares try to stop me from doing my job will have to contend with a very angry healer! They could be Chagall for all I care! Let them through!" There was a split-second pause, but then Sigurd and Deirdre, appearing from absolute nowhere by my eyes, cleared a path and I dashed through, the girls carrying the child behind me. When I reached the infirmary, I noticed Lewyn was gone, but Sylvia had remained. She yelped when she saw the child, and pulled an unused cot a little closer so that we could lay them down and get to work. I went through various healing staves and medicines. Ethlyn appeared at some point to help, coming at Lewyn's suggestion. We worked together with Sylvia's help, doing everything we could to try and save the child.

But it was all for naught. The precious seconds wasted in front of the castle, wasted in what appeared to be deciding if the group was friend or foe, had pushed the child into death's arms and no amount of healing could coax Death to let them go.

"Why did your guards not listen?" I demanded hours later, pacing the length of the room Sigurd took as his study. I knew I shouldn't be yelling, but it was just Sigurd, who listened to my ranting without interruption; the leader of the pegasus quad, who had collapsed to her knees, still covered in that child's blood; and Deirdre, who wrapped a reassuring arm around the girl, though one hand fell to her abdomen, where her baby grew even now. I knew she was wondering if her own child, not yet born, would die like this one. "I'm damn sure that was probably the first thing out of her mouth, but did they listen?! No, they decided to be paranoid!" I stopped pacing, but mostly so I could duck my head and hide the tears burning my eyes. The child had looked to be only five years old. They had been right there, and yet I… "Sorry, I…"

"You're frustrated," Sigurd summarized. He gave me a reassuring smile. "You know you did all you could, but are frustrated, because you know that if you had just a few more seconds, you might've been able to save them."

"Thank you for turning a tirade into a single sentence." I gave him a droll look, letting my minor annoyance with him take over the sheer frustration I'd felt. Poor Ethlyn and Sylvia had crumpled when I'd announced the child was dead. They'd tried so hard too, but there just hadn't been enough time. A healer couldn't save everyone, and I knew that, but this had been a single patient, and there had been those extra seconds just wasted. "I feel so much better."

"I had the benefit of hearing it all at once, whereas it came to you as a flood." His smile became a little mischievous, but it faltered as he studied my tense posture. "I'm sorry."

"Now why are you apologizing? You weren't there."

"That's why. I could've told them to stand down, but I got there after you." He sighed, leaning against his desk. "If I had run a little faster, then perhaps…" He sighed again, and looked to the girl, knowing as well as I did that the real person he wanted to apologize to was the child. After all, I was the same. "I apologize to you as well, miss. You were only trying to help, and yet my guards treated you as a criminal."

"No, you're at war," the girl whispered. With Deirdre's help, the girl shakily stood. A few feathers clung to her hair till, a sign of just how fast she and her group had flown. But it hadn't been enough. "It is only natural to be cautious. I came from the direction of Agusty, after all, and Chagall did tell me some troubling things, but I'm…" She bowed her head, and her legs shook. She was taking this loss hard, and I couldn't blame her one bit for it. "Oh, I never even introduced myself. I'm Erinys, a knight of Silensia."

"A pleasure to meet you," Sigurd replied. He pulled a chair from his desk and moved it over towards her. Unnaturally silent, Deirdre got her to sit to keep from collapsing again, and kept her arms around her. "Do you mind explaining just… what happened?"

"How the child was injured, you mean? I only saw the last bit." Erinys drooped, and Deirdre left her side only briefly to get her some water. "Thank you, my lady." She made sure to smile before sighing. "The people of Augusty… they were planning on leaving, seeking refuge here in Mackily. King Chagall terrifies them, whereas your efforts in protecting the people from bandits have earned you their trust. They also know you hope to free Lord Eldigan, and they love him." She laughed a little brokenly, and sipped the water to try and hide it. "Much like how our people love our prince. But he disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Sigurd paused and then shook his head. "No, later. Please, continue."

"Right." She took a shuddering breath, and Deirdre rested a gentle hand on her back to reassure her. I remained where I was, feeling like I didn't… have a right to comfort her right now, not while I was still so frustrated, and not when I had failed to save the child. "The soldiers were preventing people from leaving, but they were insisting, pushing forward. That's when…" She paused, eyes wavering with tears. "They snatched the boy from the crowd and… and skewered him, lifting him up in the air even. They then said something about how that's the fate everyone else would suffer if…"

"They used a child… as an example?" Sigurd's voice took a deadly hush, and I remembered the fight with Gandolf or whatever his name was. It was the same quiet fury. "That is…" Sigurd growled and punched the desk, the loud 'crack' making me jump. "Damn him. Doing that to a child… tainting Augustria like this…" He sighed and slowly, visibly, relaxed. "No, that won't help us right now." Instead, he smiled gently at Erinys. "You did a brave thing, trying to save the child. If there is anyone to blame for their death, it lies in Chagall's soldiers and mine. You did everything you could."

"It's strange how those words don't bring comfort." Still, Erinys laughed. It was a watery laugh, but one nonetheless. "Still, thank you for seeing to my girls. It was a hard ride."

"I'm sure." Sigurd sighed. "Still, you came all the way from Silensia and get caught up in another's country war. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be. Maybe I can find our missing prince." She smiled bravely. "We got word he was somewhere in Augustria, you see."

"Oh?" Sigurd hesitated, but nodded after glancing at Deirdre and me. This was a much 'safer' topic for all of us. "You mentioned he disappeared. Why?"

"Our king died unexpectedly a few years ago, and Prince Lewyn was to inherit." She sighed, and didn't notice how all three of us tensed at the name. "But his uncles protested, threatening civil war. The people didn't care, citing how they'd willingly die for him, but Prince Lewyn… he couldn't bear that, I think. So, he left, hoping to remove the center of the conflict and that maybe things would calm." She tightened her grip on glass. "But we… we want him to succeed. We want him to rule. So, we've been searching for him, and now…"

"I see." Sigurd glanced at Deirdre and me again, his silent question clear in his eyes. Deirdre hesitated, but I shook my head. If her 'Prince Lewyn' and our 'Bard Lewyn' were the same, then I worried the shock might tip her over into hysterics or a faint. For now, she needed rest. "Here, why don't you let Deirdre lead you to your room? It's quite late, and it's been a long day." He looked to me. "What of you, Alicia?"

"This recent event makes it clear that Chagall is going to hold onto this to the bitter end," I replied. I sighed, and made myself relax, slipping back into the calm, cool healer mask. "I will return to the infirmary to check our stocks and to try and get as many on their feet as possible. Will we be leaving in the morning?"

"No, I think two days from now," Sigurd answered with a small, small smile. He didn't like giving this order, but it had to be done. "I'd like to show Erinys around the army." That would definitely be one way to figure out what Lewyn will do. "Try not to overwork, Alicia."

"We'll see about that." I waved at them, giving a warm smile to Erinys, and headed out the door, closing it behind me before walking down the hall. But there, at the end of the hall, was Chulainn, resting against the wall. He opened his eyes and looked right at me and I knew, knew, he had been waiting for me. By now, word would've spread that the child had died. I knew how camp gossip worked.

He almost hesitantly held out his arms, and I felt my mask crumble as I threw myself into the hug and silently sobbed, letting my tears bleed out my frustration at not being able to save a child, since I had that luxury for once. He held me gently, saying nothing, just being a pillar of support I desperately needed right now.

I could be the healer again after crying. But I needed this. I needed this so that I didn't break. He knew that. He knew, and offered comfort freely. I'd have to thank him for it, later.


Records on Sir Midir:

Bow Knight of Jungby, 21 years old

A long-time knight of Jungby, born a commoner like most of Jungby's knights. He is Aideen's personal bodyguard.

Since he's been trained as a bodyguard, he actually has difficulties on the battlefield unless he is specifically protecting someone.

Gossips in Jungby just assume he'll be Aideen's husband before long, to the point that they often forget the two aren't even courting yet.


Author's notes: Now, in game, Erinys and her group actually attack Evans Castle and have to be recruited by Lewyn. I went with the Oosawa Manga's version of her recruitment, though, while removing her meeting Lewyn again to focus more on her. Beowulf is a char that has to actually be hired in game, starting his own Archetype iirc (Hugh from FE6 is another example). Lewyn and Sylvia join automatically after Heirhein falls, and they're the only way you can really protect the villages from bandits. Because Lewyn is a badass.

Beowulf has a conversation with Lachesis that boosts some of her stats and her love points with him, which is a bit reflected in him training her. Technically speaking, Sylvia has a talk with Alec that boosts love points, while Sigurd has talks with both her and Lewyn that give a little more insight into their personalities.

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