Chapter 9

Sasuke studied the woman carefully and, sensing no immediate threat, turned his attention back to Sakura. The medic's expression was saturated with concern, her pink eyebrows furrowing together and her lips forming a frown. Within seconds, the cheery demeanor the pinkette expressed had changed form into seriousness. "It's late, Nao-san," Sakura said carefully. "Do you need me to walk you home?"

Ignoring Sakura's question, the woman reached into a pocket in her skirt and pulled out a small, robin's egg blue envelope decorated with unmistakable pink cherry blossoms and green hearts. Sasuke noticed the childish strokes of colored markers in the dim streetlight and frowned as Nao tossed it unceremoniously on the ground near the medic's feet. Sakura's eyes flittered to the piece of stationary before looking back at the woman who seemed less than friendly towards her. Nao sniffed indignantly at the pinkette. "From Nana," the woman said bitterly, pivoting on her heel and sauntering away.

Sakura deflated a bit before her hands clenched into tight fists and Sasuke watched as she bent over on the ground to pick up the item of stationary between her fingers. For a fraction of a second, Sakura allowed herself to sigh tiredly before turning on her heel and brusquely walked past Sasuke toward the steps of the complex to lead the way to her unit. Sasuke walked closely behind her and took a brief moment to glance over his shoulder to watch as the peculiar woman turned the corner and disappeared into the darkness of the night.

When they entered her home and slipped off their sandals, Sasuke cleared his throat, figuring that what had just occurred could not be brushed aside. "Sakura—"

"Go ahead and shower first, Sasuke-kun," she interrupted, a tight smile forming on her lips. She hadn't let go of the letter in her hand. "There's a spare towel and some clothes Naruto left behind when he stayed over in the closet."

Her shyness, her playfulness, her happiness…all had dissipated and what remained of Sakura was a shell of sadness. He felt a nagging in the back of his mind telling him couldn't let this go. "Is Nana her daughter?"

Sakura's lips fell into a frown again, and she noted his persistence silently. She studied his gaze for a moment, as though testing his trustworthiness with her eyes, like a secret was about to slip from her soft lips. Sakura shifted her green eyes to the envelope in her hands and turned away from him slightly.

"Was," Sakura corrected slowly, holding the letter in her hands as she examined the small drawings. "She was wounded during a White Zetsu attack in their village during the war. She had spores in her body that fed off of her. Nao-san carried Nana here from their village for treatment. She died unexpectedly the other day." Sasuke watched as she thumbed the smooth stationary. "She was a sweet, bright child. She was also all Nao-san had left; her husband and son died in the war." Sakura's voice grew quieter as she said, "And Nana died while under my care."

"She blames you."

Sakura took a few steps to her kitchen counter and placed the little envelope on its surface before letting her hands drop to her sides. "And she has every right to."

Sasuke thought back to the night Sakura was late to dinner and remembered she arrived over two hours after her shift normally ended. He vocalized this thought to her.

Without looking at the Uchiha's careful gaze, Sakura replied, "I was searching through Nana's medical file and scouring more information about possible treatment routes." She gave a humorless chuckle, as though making a bitter joke about herself. "Two days before Nana died, the biopsy sample we gathered from her and distributed to other villages for assistance helped find some improvement for a similar affliction in Sunagakure. They delivered the results as fast as they could and it made it here the morning before Nana died as a file on my desk. I didn't know, but I could have, if I had just gone straight to my office that morning. Then I could have called Nao-san to come in before..."

"One treatment hours before death might not have done anything."

"But it might also have done something."

"She was probably already too far gone."

"It could have helped."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that, Sasuke-kun," she snapped. Realizing the misdirected agitation, Sakura let out a shaky breath, lowered her voice, and murmured, "I failed Nao-san. I failed Nana."

The pinkette lifted her hand and swiped at her cheeks to remove the trails of tears that left hot streaks against her skin. Guilt swelled in her chest and the image of little Nana, curled on the hospital mattress with blood and bile trickling from her mouth, haunted her for the silent moments that passed.

"I failed," she murmured again, mostly to herself.

Sasuke frowned deeply at the sight and realized he felt frustration towards Sakura. He couldn't place why his agitation suddenly bubbled in his chest. Seeing her being so self-deprecating was…annoying. Failed? he scoffed internally. Absolutely not.

It was as though his body moved on its own. He needed to get his point across, perhaps plant the seed of what he saw in hopes that her ears were not deaf to his observations. Sasuke took a careful stride towards her and gently, yet firmly, placed his fingers on her chin to turn her head to face him. He felt her freeze under his touch, but she moved her head in accordance with his hand. Her eyes were downcast and nearly closed as she refused to meet his gaze. Stubborn, he thought.

"Look at me," he urged quietly.

She closed her eyes and furrowed her brow in weak protest.

"Sakura."

Suddenly, green held onyx and violet, the former of which holding immense pain as more tears threatened to fall.

"You didn't fail."

"But—"

"A marginal improvement is not a guarantee of success and points only to the possibility of greater longevity. I know that much." He watched as she blinked a few times, allowing tears to trickle down her cheeks and onto the tips of his calloused fingers that still held her chin. "You're smart. You did what you could, and that's more than what anyone else could have done."

Another humorless chuckle escaped her lips. "The great Sasuke Uchiha," she whispered, mirroring what she'd said in the training grounds, "likely still concussed and spouting compliments to flatter a girl on her birthday."

Sasuke frowned at that. "It does no one a service to flatter you," he said, his voice quiet to match her volume. "I'm only speaking the truth."

It was then that Sasuke noticed how close the two of them had gotten, their bodies radiating heat that mixed together tantalizingly. There was a pull in his chest that made him want to gravitate further into her and close the distance between them, one that felt almost as though their hearts were attached by an invisible string that dared to shorten. Her eyes bore into his own, unmoving. In his periphery, he saw a streak of dirt from their earlier sparring tainting her cheek with a trail of her tears running through it. He felt his thumb move slightly with desire to brush the mark off of her smooth skin, not only to reveal the softness underneath but to feel it, as well.

He noticed how their breaths mingled in the short space between their faces and his gaze flickered quickly down to her plump, parted lips before flickering back to look into her eyes. Despite not having had much interest or time to explore the concept of romance in the past, Sasuke was no fool. He didn't even need Sakura's childhood blubberings to explain what emotion suddenly rose to the surface now, an emotion that suddenly ignited a strange awareness of their distance and soft tones. It seemed Sakura had also noticed the shift in the atmosphere between them, and her expression had changed from one of humorlessness to curiosity and…expectance.

Control yourself.

Sasuke released her chin and took a step back from the medic. He forced his gaze on the floor space that now stretched between them. "And…I'm not concussed. Anymore."

Sakura wilted a bit in front of him, her eyes reflecting confusion with a tinge of hurt. She then gave him a weak smile as she brought her arms up to hug herself. "I guess not."

Silence.

"Sasuke-kun."

The Uchiha glanced up at her in acknowledgement.

"Thank you," she said, though her voice still trickled with hurt.

He nodded curtly, still trying to collect himself from the moment that came and went regretfully fast. "I'll just go and…," he started awkwardly.

"Oh, shower is, um…," she gestured behind her and bowed slightly to signal him to pass. Sakura tucked her hair behind her ear and had her gaze trained on the kotatsu as though it was the most interesting thing in the room.

Sasuke moved by her and strode into the bathroom, trying to remain as languid as possible to mimic his usual gait. When he flipped the light switch and closed the door behind him, he raised his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. I might as well still have a crack in my skull, he hissed at himself, trying to press the complicated feelings back within the recesses of his mind so he could focus. Why did I even ask to stay the night?

On the other side of the door, he heard Sakura's gentle footfalls wander around the living room and trail into her bedroom. He stood there silently and stared at his bare feet. I'm here because we're friends. I'm a friend here to celebrate her birthday after…going on a date with her.

Great.

"Everything okay, Sasuke-kun?"

Her voice sounded concerned and tired through the door. For a moment, he froze, for his first instinct was to say no. He held his tongue and pinched the bridge of his nose tighter.

He could hear the frown in her voice as she tried, "Are the shower handles confusing?"

"No, it's fine," he replied hurriedly, trying not to sound irritated but also not too flustered. He shook off the feelings and walked the short way to the shower stall. He turned the lever this way and that until he managed to get a steady spray of water with an increasingly warming temperature. He sighed before reaching for the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head.

It had been only a little over two hours since they had finished sparring, but the months of inactivity, locked and secured in a maximum holding facility did its toll on his muscles. The weakness spread across his shoulder blades and even went as far as his abdomen as he revealed his bare skin, marred with residual scars from his time as a rogue. As he slipped out of his pants and boxers, he could feel the muscles in his legs strain in protest. Checking the water temperature with his hand, he was able to finally look at his surroundings.

Sakura's bathroom was not fully what he expected: simple white tiles and a pearly, faux marble countertop with a mirror spanning the width and warm light fixtures above the reflective surface, protruding from the wall and hanging like wilted tulips. The countertop itself was quite small compared to his own, enough for about the length of two hands on either side of the basic sink basin. A modest, pastel blue soap pump in the shape of a teardrop sat to the right of the tap and a few lotions, creams, a toothbrush in a cup, and bobby pins rested to the left. A plush bathmat rested beneath his feet with a matching rug at the foot of the cabinets beneath the sink. Over the simple toilet on the white wall was a bar that held her own blue towel and a painting of a sea of Konoha fir trees with a sunrise spanning their backs. To the left of the shower stall was a white door where, he supposed, Sakura kept Naruto's spare clothes and extra towels.

He was careful to not enter this space during his previous visits, the nature of such a private space keeping him away from the unknown of what he might see. For some reason, he pictured the space to be a messy girl's haven. Perhaps discarded clothes in the corner and a trash bin overflowing with empty hairspray cans, makeup palettes and lipstick tubes scattered around a stained hand towel.

She's grown up, he thought, surprised at the realization he hadn't thought to have until now.

He stepped into the hot shower and allowed himself to be soaked in the heat. He diligently scrubbed his hair with the familiar scent of rosemary and mint that filled his nose and caressed his scalp with comfort. Sasuke took the time to lather and massage his sculpted body in hopes to provide some relief to his aching muscles. When he reached over to scrub the remnant of his arm, he froze in surprise. The sensations of the washcloth were reaching, providing him with the scratchy, abrasive feeling that he felt on the rest of his skin. The last treatment on the training grounds had done the trick, and he was able to feel again.

Never one to waste time on personal chores like showering, Sasuke rinsed himself quickly so as to not hog the space and also tell Sakura about the sensations that tingled where the nerves were once fried by his own chakra. He reached into the closet, pulled out the spare towel she mentioned and ruffled his hair into the plush cloth. He reached in once more and pulled out the loser's clothes: an oversized, light gray shirt and a pair of navy-blue sweatpants. After donning the clothes, Sasuke looped the towel over his shoulders to catch the water droplets that fell from his dark strands, folded his used clothes to grip in his hand, and let himself out of the bathroom.

Sakura didn't react from where she sat at the kotatsu, her eyes locked on what appeared the contents of the little blue envelope Nao had tossed her way. Scribbled handwriting of a child was sprawled on the white paper's surface in purple ink. Sasuke stayed a careful distance away, not wanting to break her concentration, until he saw a tear slide once more down her cheek.

"Sakura."

The pinkette startled and whipped her head in the Uchiha's direction, her hands moving to her face to wipe away at the moisture that clung to her skin. "Sasuke-kun," she started. "How, um, was your shower?"

He studied her for a moment, ignoring her question and pondering whether he should point out the obvious sadness that was running down her face.

Sakura seemed to catch on to his wonderings and gave a soft chuckle. "She wrote this after I helped the two of them find a place to live in the village. It's actually pretty close to here because it's an easy walk to and from the hospital." She rose to her feet, leaving the letter on the wooden surface. "You can read it; there's nothing personal in there. It's just memories that are causing all of this," she said, gesturing to her reddened face.

Sakura slipped by him and hurried into the bathroom as though she was afraid Sasuke would open his mouth to begin questioning again. When the door shut, he was left alone with the peculiar letter. Despite having her permission, it seemed like an invasion of privacy to read the words that were enough to bring tears to her eyes. Curiosity is a strong force, however, and Sasuke knelt where Sakura had just left when he heard the shower begin running behind the door.

Misspelt words were scribbled out, no doubt indicating that the young girl had her mother help her write properly. He imagined what this mysterious Nana child was like for Sakura to have taken such a strong liking to her. Sakura was always one for tears and playing with village children, but to see the way this one had affected her was surprising.

Haruno-san, it read, Mama and I love our new home. It smells like flowers like your hair. Thank you for talking to me and giving me medicine. I feel good and Mama smiles a lot, now. Please teach me more big words. Love, Nana.

Sasuke felt a frown form on his face and the ache of empathy curling around his chest. He never interacted with children. In fact, he never really had the interest to do so, as they were far too loud and difficult for him to understand despite being a playful one with his brother in the past. But something was different about Nana: she had Sakura's stamp of approval, straight from her heart as indicated by the tears that still flowed from her emerald irises.

Sasuke decided to make some tea for the two of them to sip after providing his own thoughts of mourning for the child, hoping that perhaps this would ease Sakura and bring her back to the happy demeanor she carried earlier in the night, happiness worthy of a birthday.

He poured himself a cup of the tea and rounded back to the kotatsu as he took a sip of the hot liquid just as the bathroom door inched open and stopped when a small slit allowed for the smell of steam and soap to escape. He paused midstep and turned his attention to the sight of Sakura's damp pink hair and face rivaling the shade. She seemed to be hiding the rest of her body behind the door panel.

"Um, Sasuke-kun?"

He froze and stared at her, surprised.

"I, um…I forgot my clothes in my room."

Oh, god.

Sakura shook her head furiously, perhaps reading his expression. "I don't want you to go digging in my closet, but could you just turn around for a moment?"

Still holding the cup to his lips, he slowly turned and faced the exit to her apartment, considering whether he should run out due to embarrassment and a new aching feeling he sensed near his abdomen. Control, control, control.

He heard her feet pad furiously out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. The click of the closed door sounded, and her muffled voice rang out, "Okay, you can turn around again!"

Sasuke hardly noticed that the entire time the cup was to his lips, the hot liquid had been settled on the tender skin there. He hissed and snapped his head away from the heat, raising his left shoulder to press the hot skin against the cloth of the loser's shirt. He muttered a curse to himself as he sauntered back to the kotatsu, sitting back in the seat he normally claimed during his time at her apartment. He set the cup down and pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe staying here was a mistake.

Sakura stepped out from her bedroom in a loose green shirt decorated with a small bouquet of flowers on her lapel made of thread. It looked worn and well-loved, as the green had a faded appearance to it. She also wore loose black shorts that stopped midway down her thighs. Her hair was still damp, and she ruffled the towel through the dripping locks before sighing and giving the Uchiha a small smile. "You made tea," she observed.

"Ah."

Sakura moved toward him and offered her hand out to take the towel from around his neck. He handed it to her, and she disappeared into the bathroom to hang both his and hers to dry. When she stepped out again, she poured herself a cup of tea and settled in her usual spot across from Sasuke. They sipped in silence for a few moments.

"Did you read it?" she asked, breaking the quiet.

"Yes."

"Every appointment I had with her, I would teach her a new synonym for the color blue, since it was her favorite. That's what she meant by 'big words.' I even took the time to look up new words that mean blue once I ran out of ones I already knew."

"How long was she your patient?"

"Since early November, so that makes it…," she counted on her fingertips, "just about five months. I would see her two to three times a week."

He took another sip from his tea thoughtfully. "Did this ruin your birthday?"

The pinkette raised her eyebrows in surprise before cradling her cheek in her hand, elbow resting on the table surface. Her gaze drifted to the letter with Nana's scribbled handwriting. "No," she said slowly, as though testing the word to be sure it fit with her feelings. "No, it just…hit a tender spot, I guess."

Sasuke eyed her quietly, not knowing how to be a comfort during the lull. The seconds passed painfully for the Uchiha as he watched her sulking form. He decided to share some of the triumph he discovered earlier to help, for perhaps making tea wasn't enough. "I can feel things in my arm, now," he tried. "I think whatever you did on the training grounds worked."

She smiled weakly. "I'm glad."

Silence.

"I normally don't like sweet things, but the anmitsu wasn't too bad."

She watched him carefully for a beat.

"I can see that your form's improved and so different from when we were kids."

Sakura raised her eyebrows at that, and a look of confusion crossed her face. Sasuke felt pressured to say something more, tell her something that would make her smile genuinely.

"And you managed to pin me down. I never thought that would happen."

"Sasuke-kun."

He closed his mouth and felt embarrassed for having spoken so much.

She looked at him puzzledly. Sasuke was frustrated when she was so self-deprecating, roused when she was so close, anxious when she was sad. So many emotions that he hadn't felt for years were springing up in a too-fast frequency that he wasn't accustomed to feeling. Something kept nagging in his chest now to try, try, try. Suddenly, he blurted, "I don't know how to make you smile."

Sakura blinked a few times, hand still cradling her cheek, before she bit her lip to stifle a chuckle. However, as though her mouth was a dam holding back water, she burst into laughter and used her free hand to clutch the shirt at her belly.

Seeing her laugh threw Sasuke back into another whirlwind of emotions. He felt…embarrassed. But also relieved. He felt his face grow warm and he scowled before bringing his cup up to his face to take a long sip of his tea. He muttered, "I wasn't trying to be funny."

"Sorry, Sasuke-kun," she giggled, flashing the genuine smile he'd been searching for. "That just surprised me. I'm okay, really. And," she shrugged sheepishly, pink dusting her cheeks, "you don't have to try so hard to make me smile. You being here is enough."

"But Nao-san."

Sakura let her eyes fall a bit before raising them once more to meet his gaze. "Nao-san surprised me and I'm still grieving for Nana. Although, if I were alone to have experienced all of that, I think I'd be far worse than I am right now."

Sasuke nodded and felt his shoulders relax, not realizing that they were tense.

"Thank you, Sasuke-kun," she grinned, "for being such a good…friend."

At the sound of the last word, he noticed her grin dip almost imperceptibly. At the same time, he felt something in his gut take a hit. Sasuke stilled himself to become more motionless than stone to hide the sudden discomfort.

Friend. That's fair. He'd told himself earlier that he was just a friend trying to brighten his friend's birthday despite going on a date with her. Despite feeling the strange heat that radiated in his chest he was almost sure she felt, too, but perhaps he was wrong. Perhaps he needs to take a step back. This Sakura is different. She'd grown up from her childish fawning and gawking over him long ago, the separation and war forcing her into a mental age of someone above the elementary love story. This Sakura might not want to have anything to do with him other than friendship.

Not that he was disappointed.

No, he had no right to be disappointed.

But maybe he was at least a little…bothered. He shook off the feeling and went back to sipping his tea, not wanting to acknowledge the stinging feeling in his chest.

"I have to get an early start tomorrow morning at the hospital," she said quietly, stretching her arms up above her head. "Would it be okay if I turned in for the night?"

Sasuke nodded and the two of them cleared the kotatsu and moved it against the wall to make room for the spare futon he was to sleep on for the night. She provided him with a plush blanket and pillow, all of which smelled sweet as the cherry blossom girl beside him. He knelt beside his resting area and Sakura bid him a goodnight. He crawled into the space and rested with his hand behind his head as he stared up at her popcorn ceiling. He stayed awake for hours and hours and, before sleep took him, he swore he heard the distinct sound of a series of sniffs coming from Sakura's bedroom.

*

"Te-ME!"

The blond war hero waved his arm excitedly at the Uchiha who'd walked into the room just as the former was prepared to discharge. Naruto had been in the midst of packing his things and dropped his backpack to hurry over to his dark-haired best friend. Sasuke sighed exasperatedly, not entirely thrilled to be in the presence of someone so keen to disrupt the man's train of thought.

Naruto threw his arm over Sasuke and brought him close. "How was the alone time with Sakura-chan, huh? Is your thing gonna stay attached?"

"It doesn't—"

"Yeah, yeah, it doesn't work like that. So you say."

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed a heavy sigh before shrugging his friend's arm off his shoulders. He made his way to the green reclining chair and sat cross-legged in its plush seat. "We trained, ate food, and got stopped by some woman whose daughter died."

Naruto's brow furrowed in concern. "Are you talking about Nao-san?"

Sasuke raised a curious eyebrow. "You know her?"

Naruto frowned, picked his bag from the floor, and zipped it up clumsily. "Yeah, I even met her a few times. Her daughter, Nana, she was something special for Sakura-chan. I could see why, too. She was really loud and kept talking about how she liked my eyes."

"Because they're blue."

"Yeah. Sakura-chan told you about her?"

Sasuke nodded and thought back to how Sakura mentioned the extra effort she made to find more words that meant the color blue. He pictured the pink-haired medic bouncing on her way to work, looking up at the skies he couldn't see, and whispering different synonyms to describe what spread above her.

"Well, yesterday Nao made a ruckus after you left on your date," Naruto said, his face grim. "She was looking for Sakura-chan and waving around an envelope, talking about her daughter's cremation and ashes. That's when I heard Nana died and the nurses started talking about the funeral."

"She'll be buried here?"

"No, Nao-san's being escorted back to her home village. It's a three-day trip, so the funeral's in four and they're leaving as soon as they—hey, Teme, you're supposed to help me carry some of this!"

Sasuke rushed out of the room and strode quickly through the halls of the unit to head for the elevator. During their walk to the hospital earlier in the morning, she'd mentioned she would be focusing on paperwork for the majority of the day. She'd likely be holed up in her office, surrounded by stacks of documents, probably sulking about the girl, Nana.

When he came upon the sign that read her name on a gold plaque by the door, he swung it open without hesitation or introduction. The pinkette startled from her spot next to a towering bookshelf, jumping up and reaching instinctively for her thigh that was absent of her weapon's pouch. Her posture relaxed the moment she laid eyes on the Uchiha. "Sasuke-kun," she breathed, "you scared the hell out of me." She then looked him up and down, noting how his breath was shallower than usual from speeding over to her office. "What hap—"

"Call off work for the rest of the week."

Sakura raised her eyebrows. "What—"

"We're going to Nao's village."