Confessions of a Third Wheel
A debate on gender equality and the war of the sexes
(Part One)
Merida was savoring the taste of nachos when raised voices where audible, too audible, inside her ears. She had to growl in frustration to let them know her contempt but the people she's currently associated with were behaving like wild banshees. Merida almost laughed at herself; she was actually thinking that they're misbehaving! And here she was not leading the argument! What has happened to you? She said to her inner reckless self.
"You don't get it, boy, just because you think you are men that doesn't mean you're the only ones to take seriously!"
"I'm not implying that, Blondie; I'm just saying you're just tad too short and chattery to look serious." A laugh follows.
"You're egotistical, you know that?"
"Says the girl who spent her 16 years growing her hair before cutting it because it's the new trend."
Snort.
"Well, I have you know it wasn't my idea to grow it so long! You stepped on them twice! And it's not that bad if we want to follow trends, what are you, a hipster or in some cult that hates mainstream too much? Anyway, don't you dare try me, Flynn. I know you have a crazy fetish for crowns."
"What the fuck, man?" Jack's laughter bellowed.
Flynn smacks the back of Jack's head, "You're suppose to side with me."
"Geez, can't a guy get a good laugh? You're uptight! Calm down man, you're becoming like a girl, I'd say."
Anna retorted, "And you have a sick fetish for crooked staff."
"I do not!" Jack furiously reddened.
Anna looks past at Jack, at her sister, as if to say 'really, Elsa?' and held an incredulous look on her face.
"You kinda do." Elsa finally said. Looking sheepishly at Jack.
"Why?" Jack feigning a look of hurt, hands on his chest, "I thought you love me."
"I do, and even you have that... fondness for -erm...That, I still do."
"Let's cut the bull, we all know guys are way more awesome even with our cravings," Flynn cuts in, clearly not liking the idea of them making up or worse, making out in this place. "And you, Blondie, is just as bad as me, like, paper lanterns? Really?"
Rapunzel sat up, startled and offended at the thought, "Ugh! Conceited, I tell you, conceited!" she now looked at Merida, "Are you not going to say anything about this?!"
The redhead raised her eyebrow in question, "And now you're noticing me?"
Rapunzel has the urge to roll her eyes, "You're too preoccupied!" holding out her arms to represent the nachos and fries on the table.
"Nah, I'll just leave it to you kids, this is a fight I don't have the patience to indulge in." Merida said while popping fries inside her mouth.
"I can't believe you!" Rapunzel stared at her in disbelief.
"Let's be real guys, without us -men, you'll not be able to open up pickle jars. It's high time for you ladies to learn your place in the kitch-OW!" Merida abruptly flicked Flynn on the ear; the latter looked at her and hissed.
"Okay I'm in!" Merida announced, still chewing a nacho, "Anything and everything guys can do, girls can do it better." she said.
Anna, who was making saccharine looks at Kristoff, finally stood up, "Anything boys can do, we can do better."
"Why am I feeling that you've sang it in a sing-song kind of tune from somewhere..." Merida muttered.
"Annie Get Your Gun." Elsa nodded, "you're good, 10 points to girls!"
"How is that counted?" Flynn said, crossing his arms.
"Musicals are the best. You can't do it, can you?" Rapunzel challenged him, a fierce look on her face, whereas Flynn did the same.
"Ooooh—It's on!"
A game it is.
The couples (plus Merida!) have been at it for god knows how many hours. Determination in the air at the price of irrational pride. Merida, of course, was the single pringle out of them. "And I thought It's Girls versus Boys, seems like a partner war..." silently muttering to herself. Suddenly —she saw something blue slightly moves, readying her gun for an unwanted attack, closing her eyes and listened intently.
Crunch.
Merida hastily jumped out of her hiding place, gun in hand and ready to shoot. A flash of blue appears, just as she dodges an incoming assault when someone had bumped her on the back, sending her to the cold ground. She remembered a gooey color blue of a ball hits her on her tummy, cursing, and a lot of happy cheering from baritone voices.
She stayed like that on the ground, not wanting to move, eyes closed and still holding her gun. At this moment, she felt at peace, blocking out the triumphant cheers of her idiot male friends. The floor was now like bed to her as she contemplates sleeping on it, maybe a minute or so, and then again she could hear footsteps on the floor followed by a bitter murmur, "The boys won this round."
Merida grunted in response, "Yeah, no shit."
Still not bothering to open her eyes, Merida felt something, a tugging somewhere on her feet then a —"What the fuck!?" Merida was being hauled on the floor, with her feet on the air, by Anna and Rapunzel. "What the hell are you two doing?!"
"We're devising a plan."
Merida slumped her head back while being dragged on the ground, starting to regret that she signed up for this.
"You go this way," pointing to the left, "and I'll go that way.," pointing to the farthest right, "and Elsa, please, pease make sure Anna is in check." Rapunzel gave Anna a meaningful look.
"Hey! I'm so totally in check!"
"I've seen you two aiming at each other then proceeding to shoot in an unreasonable method. Like a couple suicide, but with paintball guns, and minus death."
"Kristoff has purely nothing to do with this. He was dragged by his own will! He wouldn't even want to play this kind of game."
Merida chortles, "Go figure. He'd rather play house with his dog and clean the living room multiple times, sometimes using his saliva as antiseptic."
"Hey!"
Shrugging her shoulders, Merida, despite their shortcoming, gave out a hearty sentence, "Let's give them our A-game, gals!"
Rapunzel Corona was no pushover.
Sure she does whatever her nonbiological mother's command, she is a grateful adoptive daughter after all, but that was before the big reveal. Sighing, Rapunzel hid further in the dark, gun on her slightly shaking hands. Flynn had done it. He's testing her temperament again. He knows how and when to push her buttons, and she's going to make him regret belittling her.
Flowery Punzel, that's what most people call her, that's what everyone thinks of her; soft Rapunzel, sweet Rapunzel, compassionate Rapunzel... It made her sick. She's never taken very seriously by other people because of her sanguineous personality, now; she's going to make a point to her blabber mouth of a boyfriend.
"I can smell your perfume, Blondie." His voice rung out, taunting in the air. Rapunzel made an extra effort not to growl.
She blended in the dark, an advantage, but she couldn't see where he was. Closing her eyes shut, Rapunzel decided to feel her surroundings - she sensed footsteps, light they may be but it was audible enough for her keen ears.
She wiggled out of her hiding spot, his outline was visible, his broad shoulders flexed up as he aimed the gun straight ahead. Unfortunately for him, she was behind him. Walking like a graceful gazelle was no easy task, however, for Rapunzel's petite form and lithesome weight, there's no such thing as a heavy footsteps.
"It's Brunette to you." Flynn quickly looked behind him; the mouth of the gun was few inches away from his chest. He was aghast to see that look on her face despite of smudges of paint—it was something he wasn't used to. She'd only made that kind of look when she defended herself and him from the old hag... he didn't know if he's to be scared or be amuse by her. Before he could facial his expression, she'd already pulled the trigger.
That crazed look in her face changes to a smirk.
"Mayday! We need backup!"
"Dude, relax."
"How can I?! Blondie's winning!"
"Correction: The girls are winning, and they've won two or three times, I guess. No pressure."
"Guess again, Six times."
Jack widened his eyes, "I'll be damned. Wow, we've been at it, huh? So," shrugging his shoulders, "Can we eat now?"
"We're not done yet."
"Bull, man. Can we at least have something to replenish our aching stomach?"
"You're just as bad as Merida. After the game, If we won, the girls are gonna pay. That's the deal."
"Total shit. It's gonna take us hours to beat them! How are you not objecting to his ideas?"
Kristoff looks at them, boredom in his eyes, "The faster this game ends, it doesn't matter whose team wins."
"That's the game spirit!" Flynn deadpanned. "Speaking of Merida, she's the heart of the group, the guarded sniper, making us outnumbered. She doesn't have competition in this."
"..."
"..."
"..."
Then it dawned on them.
Flynn smiles so hard, it felt like it was breaking up his face, "I know someone."
She's going to be so pissed.
