Chapter Two – Try Again
... or the years before Hogwarts

I did my best to survive the next ten years until I got to Hogwarts. Being a girl meant that Dudley generally left me alone because he was afraid he would get cooties from me and I sighed in relief when I realized that. I wasn't as athletic as Harry was at that age, because Dudley didn't chase after me with his gang, but I tried my best to become so, even if I hated every minute of it. Going to Hogwarts would be too much of a shock to my system otherwise.

Of course there were some bouts of accidental magic, but not many. Not because I wasn't powerful enough, but because I knew what was happening, so I could control them somewhat. Not the real accidental magic, no, but I could control my magic somewhat. I could mould my magic into a small ball of light whenever Vernon and Petunia felt that I didn't need the light bulb in my cupboard, or healing the scrapes and bruises that I was left with whenever I couldn't complete my chores fast enough or correctly.

This was glossed over in the books, but Harry was probably physically abused as well, because I definitively was. I knew that going to the authorities would probably amount to nothing because Vernon and Petunia were respectable members of the community and I also doubted that Dumbledore would allow me to get away from the blood wards that were erected.

I found a safe harbour in the library, surrounded by books that I devoured because I was extremely bored in school. It was interesting to learn about things in English, because I wasn't born English in my last life, but it was also boring because it was elementary stuff that I already knew, even in English, before.

I had gathered enough courage to talk to my teacher, asking her not tell my aunt and uncle about my great grades, because, and I quote myself here, I didn't want Dudley to feel bad because his were worse than mine, and in turn make my relatives worry about him needlessly or heap unfair expectations on him.

Either the teacher was stupid and bought it, or she knew there was another reason for it, after seeing how differently Petunia and Vernon acted around me at a school fair.

Either way, she kept mum about it and I kept acing my tests without my aunt and uncle's knowledge.

I was offered to skip classes more than once, but that would require letting my relatives know that I was smarter than Dudley and that just wouldn't do, so I went with the excuse that I didn't want to skip them because I would miss Dudley and my other (non-existent) friends that I had in my class, and they left it at that.

My teachers did look at me weirdly because of it, seeing as they knew that Dudley and I ignored each other and the other kids ignored me, but they usually let it be. Might be because they actually liked me – I was a perfect student after all. Quiet and studious, knew the material when asked, and had good grades. I wasn't a teacher's pet by any means. I was way too shy to actually raise my hand in class, but I did answer the questions asked of me.

I think I was a dream come true to some of my teachers, because they obviously favoured me over the others. They sometimes gave me chocolates or candy for an excellent score on the tests. It could also mean that they were aware that my home life wasn't exactly perfect but couldn't really do anything about it.

Whatever. I was just happy to get to eat the sweets I otherwise wasn't even allowed to look at.

When my thoughts went to Hogwarts, I knew that the Hat would probably have a hard time putting me into a specific house, even though I've always identified with Slytherin the most. I was "officially" sorted into the snake house on Pottermore, and other unofficial quizzes as well. But I was also a closet Ravenclaw with my thirst for knowledge, a Hufflepuff because when I wanted to, I could be a real hard worker, and also a Gryffindor, just because I was a survivor not only in my life as Adaline Potter but also in my previous life.

I couldn't wait to see the Hat's expression when he figured out that I knew a lot more than the Wizarding World expected of Adaline Potter, who was supposed to have no knowledge of magic before getting her Hogwarts letter. Harry Potter in the books was an average student of magic who excelled in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch, and went for the easiest subjects for his third year. I was in no way average, nor would I allow myself to be, what with a new chance to live and all. I also wouldn't touch a Divination book with a foot long-pole if I could help it. No, I would probably take Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures. Mainly because I didn't care for the Wizarding version of Muggle Studies, Divination you already know my hatred of, and I just didn't get numbers, which I heard Arithmancy was all about. Well, I'll probably check out a book about it when I got to Hogwarts anyway, to see if I might change my mind about it.

I'm probably going to be like Hermione in wanting to know everything I could about magic.

If you couldn't tell already, I was extremely excited to go to Hogwarts and start learning about magic.

Which Harry Potter fan wouldn't be? I know that in my previous life I was still waiting for my Hogwarts letter to come, even if I was thirty-two at the time of my death.

Thinking of Hogwarts usually meant I also started thinking about the characters in the books I've read over and over again. I wondered how they would react to an autistic Adaline Potter. They probably wouldn't expect that.

I bet you didn't expect that one either.

Yes, I am autistic. Or, to make it easier for you to understand, I have Asperger's Syndrome.

So if this story of mine sometimes makes no sense, this is probably the reason.

I wondered if I could get away with some things about my Hogwarts schooling, like as few oral examinations as possible, because I usually got so nervous I forgot everything I knew. My teachers at the elementary knew that and just wrote more questions on my tests and graded me a bit differently, instead of letting my grades suffer because I got so nervous I blacked out when I was supposed to have an oral examination.

Or to get private tutoring in things I didn't understand. I haven't read anything about those in the books, and so wondered if it was even a thing at Hogwarts.

But most of all, I was wondering if I should confide about my previous life in someone at Hogwarts, so that I wouldn't be all alone and having to pretend I was just your typical pre-teen girl all the time.

It did get tiresome sometimes, even if I didn't act like a kid most of the time.

Also, I was lonely. I wanted to talk to people, make friends, even with my social anxiety. I wanted to change the Wizarding World for the better with the influence I had over it.

And I knew I couldn't do it alone.

I needed someone to talk to.

And I'll probably sound extremely biased now, but I kinda wanted that someone to be Severus Snape.

He had always been one of my absolute favourite characters in the series and I was extremely excited to actually meet him now that he was a real person in a real world. I was also extremely frightened of him because I knew that he was a Legilimens and I was afraid that he would just take what information I had on the future from my head and go and report it to Dumbledore.

I didn't trust Dumbledore too much. I didn't like the fact that he didn't prepare Harry enough before he died and expected him to die like "a pig for slaughter" as Snape so tactfully put.

I really, really wanted to get along with him. I wanted to learn from him. I was really excited about studying Potions – even if Snape wasn't my favourite character, Potions would be my favourite subject at Hogwarts.

It might be a bit more difficult, since I looked so much like Lily, but I promised myself that I would do my best to get along with the curmudgeon.

The day I got my Hogwarts letter I was all prepared to sneak it into my cupboard and read it immediately, but instead Vernon wanted me to clean his car before he went to work and I only had time to stuff the letter into my cupboard before going outside because I knew that if I dawdled, he would be angry, and an angry Vernon wasn't a good thing.

Aunt Petunia handed me a long list of chores to do after I was done with the car and I had to go do those immediately as well. And so I didn't get the opportunity to read the letter until a few weeks later.

I might admit, under duress, that I waited to read the letter just to see the expressions on their faces when the multiple letters started coming. I especially loved moustache-less Vernon.

I did manage to read the letter a few days later, after I was sure that it was only a few days before we were supposed to flee to the hut on the sea. I definitively did not want to row us across in that weather, because I hated thunderstorms. Plus, rowing the two pigs that were Dudley and Vernon would be extremely hard, since they were so heavy.

And so, I read the letter. It was exactly the same as Harry's in the book, except instead of "Dear Mr Potter", it read "Dear Miss Potter".

I found it extremely funny that indeed, inside the envelope there was only the acceptance letter and the list of school things I needed to buy. There were no other papers, explaining where to buy the things, or how to get to the Hogwarts Express. Definitively one of the things that needed to change. I hid the letter under my pillow again and went to the library. Aunt Petunia actually allowed me to go to the library once a week!

In the library, I begged the librarian for a piece of paper and a pen before going to sit in my usual corner.

I stared at the blank paper, before biting my lip and starting to write:

Dear Whoever Gets This Letter or Dear Hogwarts,

Thank you very much for the acceptance letter and I apologize for the late reply. This has been my first and only opportunity to get away from my relatives and actually read what you have sent me, although I must admit to a bit of amusement at watching my aunt and uncle's expressions when the letters came flying through the chimney, especially as it was a Sunday and my uncle wasn't really happy about it since postmen don't usually deliver letters on Sundays.

I'm not really sure what you meant by awaiting my owl, but I'm writing this letter in the hope that I'll find a way to get it to you.

I admit to being really surprised when I read this letter. My first thought was that it was an elaborate prank thought up by my relatives, but then I remembered that not only do my aunt and uncle hate anything to do with abnormality and magic, but they also have no sense of humour, nor do they believe in imagination, and realized that it wasn't a prank from them. Then I tried to think of who would send me a prank like this and came up with no one, because I don't know that many people and most of them are children who, to be honest, couldn't think of something as elaborate as this.

Then I started thinking, what if it's true and I am magical? It would explain all the odd things that tended to happen to me sometimes, like shrinking the jumper aunt Petunia wanted me to wear (it was hideous) and my bruises healing overnight. I've also never been sick and have never really needed a haircut. Is this all because of magic?

I read the enclosed list of supplies I'm supposed to buy, but I have no idea where to buy them (I imagine I won't find it in normal stores) and how to buy them since I have no money – and my relatives definitively won't be paying for it. Are there funds for students that can't afford school supplies or scholarships? If so, I would like to get more information on those.

Second, the enclosed ticket for Hogwarts Express doesn't tell me where Platform Nine and Three Quarters is or how I am supposed to get there. Are there any magical transports that could help me get to King's Cross in London on the 1stof September? I'm not really sure if my relatives will want to drive me there since they really don't like me too much.

I would also ask that, if you can of course, you send someone to answer the questions I have – for there are a lot of them.

Oh, and I'm assuming that my father's surname was Potter since I also have it and know that my aunt's maiden name was Evans, so therefore she is probably my mother's sister. And seeing as I'm a witch, I'm thinking (more like hoping) that one or both of my parents were magical as well. I've been told they died in a car accident, but seeing as anything coming out of my relatives' mouths should be taken with a grain of salt, I'm not too sure if that's true.

But this wasn't what I had in mind when I started writing about my parents. Is my father also from a normal family or is his family magical? Is there anything I'm supposed to know about my family that I'm not at liberty to know at the moment?

Also, are there any social norms I'm supposed to know about before making a mistake by alienating someone in the magical world by being impolite by accident? I don't want to make enemies from being rude, even if by me not knowing how to behave in the magical world. I would greatly appreciate if you could send me some reference materials for study about the magical world, like magical traditions, nobility and how to address them, magical subjects that every magical child should know before entering Hogwarts and other things that you think would be relevant for me to study.

Thank you again for the letter and hope to hear from you soon,

Adaline Potter

I read and reread the letter a few times before sighing and deciding that I would send it as it is. I'm sure that whoever read this letter would find it weird, definitively too long and full of words that normal eleven-year-olds wouldn't have in their vocabulary.

I would definitively make a few people curious.

I had to wonder who they would send, if I managed to send the letter. Hagrid was my first thought, but then again – let's be honest here – Hagrid wasn't the brightest bulb in a shed, or however the phrasing went. I imagined it would be either Professor McGonagall or Professor Flitwick that would come. McGonagall for being my assumed Head of House (the whole Wizarding World was probably expecting me to get Sorted into Gryffindor) and Flitwick for being a Ravenclaw – and my letter did sound like a muggle-born Ravenclaw. I hoped it would be Flitwick, since I really liked him in the books and he sounded like he wasn't as prejudiced as McGonagall probably was.

But before we get to that part of the story, I still needed to send my letter.

When I went outside the library, there was an owl waiting for me. Did it know I needed to send a letter, or was it sent when my letter was opened and there was a charm to notify the owls that someone with no access to owls wanted to reply to it? Oh well, at least I could send my letter now without worrying about it too much.

In preparation of sending a letter by owl, I had put the piece of paper inside an envelope that the librarian had also given me and rolled it into a small roll which I then tied together with a piece of string I took from my aunt's garden supplies. She probably won't miss it.

The owl let me pet it a bit before showing me where to put the letter. I watched it soar away for a while, then returned to 4 Privet Drive to make dinner for three.


Author's Note: I got myself a Beta! So all hail to Child of Music and Dreams for going through this story and correcting it!