Confessions of a Third Wheel

Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets


"Hey, Princess, they're looking for you, you know, Jack and the lot, I don't want to tell them without telling you first. They suspect I know something."

"Umm, can't you just tell them I'm with you?" she said and then shook her head as if something has occurred to her at the very moment, "Oh no, wait, no, bad idea. Don't tell them anything. Maybe tell them I'm on a vacation to Peru or something. Tell them it's really far and the connection sucks. Just don't tell them anything yet, especially Punz. And Anna, really especially to Anna."

"A vacation, really? They won't buy that."

"Sounds like horse shit, I know, but the guys can shut up but they've been known not to keep secrets from each other and the girls. And the girls, right, my parents knew their parents. I'm pretty sure my mom had asked everyone she personally knew about me," and had possibly asked the men in blue, Merida cringed inwardly, "And Rapunzel gets queasy if she's lying, and Anna, she can't help but blubber." she said before sighing, "I love those girls, but they can't keep a secret to their parents or to mine or to anyone, apparently."

Hiccup stayed silent for a while.

"Is that why you..." he couldn't even ask her directly. He feared he might upset her. "Okay, I get it. I know what I'll have to say."


"Hiccup called," Flynn smirks at his girlfriend, "they're totally fuckin'."

"They are not."

"I know Hiccup and his tone when embarrassed."

Rapunzel rolled her eyes at him, "Shouldn't he be happy if they're doing that?"

"C'mon, Punz, Hic's a shy type kinda guy. Yet he knows how to get the girls on his bed."

Rapunzel punched him in his shoulder, "Merida's been missing for days. Her mom contacted me. We should be looking for her." she sighs, "and Merida's not that kind of girl, okay? You two were friends first, you should know her more."

Flynn smirked, "Oh yes, I know her. I know her well enough to know that underneath her loud feminist exterior there is a lonely girl wanting to have that mushy relationship. And Hic's a great guy, he would never do her wrong."


Hiccup didn't know what to draw.

He was a bit taken aback by that actually, he didn't know what to do with this blank paper before him and he was quite aggravated at his useless hand holding his more so useless charcoal pencil.

Think, Hiccup! Find your inspiration. Okay, dragons . No, not dragons, god you've already had much of it. Maybe a Chinese dragon with the body of a unicorn? Hiccup shook his head in shame. What has his mind had come to? The piece of blank paper laughed at him. Or that's what he imagined just right now.

"I've constantly like Johnny Depp's portrayal of different characters," started Merida while munching on a homemade, sweet and sour popcorn (that she, at first, absolutely hated and had voiced out, more than on one occasion that it truly sucked), "but this one, oh boy, this one really makes me uncomfortable."

Seeing her looking so serious with that particular movie, as if she hasn't seen it before or picking up unknown details about it that maybe she'll finally understand something, and then—everything to him just clicked into pieces.

His creative mind suddenly wants to create bountiful drawings of a particular fancy, however they're many and his hand wouldn't draw them up easily and quickly as his mind needs him to.

"He radiates to me that kind of a person who uses candies to lure children into his haven and do serious sick things to them. I mean, look at his hair! Doesn't that look like a perverted 80's creep to you?"

Just by seeing her smile made him smile too, her every expressions suddenly came to his mind like photos in a gallery. So many valuable shots in the mind can only conjure up.

He now knew whom to draw.

And just like that his hand and the pencil between his pointing and thumb finger were in rhythm. Teamwork. He had the look of pure ease on his face, but his mind, his brain is shooting ideas to ideas, thinking of beautiful colors he'll yet to add. He was engrossed in his work and musings that he didn't quite catch up to Merida and her own musings too.

After many minutes, he didn't look at anything but his muse, when Merida's rough yet low voice echoed around, and he knew all too well the meaning of it. There goes a bad comment again in three, two, one...

"That's bullshit right there,"

Ah. He never fails.

Hiccup finally looked up to see what she's been watching and commenting for the past few minutes. He chuckled and continued his precious drawing.

"I mean, it's only for a stupid factory that's been closed for years!"

"But it's a chocolate factory." Hiccup finally spoke after letting her have her little commentaries. Though he didn't stop his drawing, she looked at him for a straight two minutes, with her serious eyes. He gulped his saliva that's been building on inside his mouth.

Merida struggled to find a rebuttal, true, no one can deny chocolates and to tour the place where delicious chocolates are made of? Pure heaven with diabetes! Her soul is in line with Augustus. But the portrayal of exaggerated excitement had her shaking her head.

"You wouldn't find me breaking into tears or hugging loved ones when I get to have that golden ticket."

Hiccup smiled to himself.


"You know, I got a call from Hiccup."

Rapunzel shrugs her shoulders, "Flynn did too."

"Well," Anna was tired of her less than three words answers, maybe Rapunzel's mad at Flynn, again, "what did he say?"

"Said she's safe, we shouldn't worry."

"Ah, an improvement." Anna said in a snide remark. "He said to me that she's away to relieve the stress from her family. If you're truly her friends, stay away, please."

Rapunzel ears perked up, "I think that's a warning."

"It is. I don't get it, we've been friends for years and this guy, Hiccup, has wormed his way into her life and suddenly he's now Merida's official best friend? The Audacity!"

"Or maybe it's our fault too, because we've been neglecting her emotionally and we were too preoccupied in our own personal lives that we oftentimes forget her." Elsa finally spoke up from the backseat, finally had enough with the two.

"Ridiculous." Anna rolled her eyes, "We'll go there and shake her enough to come out of her senses and face reality." she swirled the car into a secluded spot, her phone in hand, dialing Flynn's number.


Everything was smooth.

Today was rather uneventful, they spent the morning watching and now she's spending the afternoon watching by herself.

Another episode of How I Met Your Mother?

Merida sighed.

There can't be much sadder than this lifestyle, she thought during which she's on the process of burying her face on the pillow. Out came the muffled scream.

Hiccup has gone out again.

"Of course," Merida muttered to herself. It's not like he's committed to stay with her every hours and minutes of the day.

She'll bore her mind out if she watches another one of Ted's bullshit— then there's someone knocking at the door.

Slowly, she got up, this isn't Hiccup, he got his own key and didn't knock in his own apartment. Ever. Merida lightly walked up to the door and could easily hear the sound from the outside. Those people didn't even try to hush their tone.

"Open the door, Hiccup, you son of a bitch!" and one of those people is Anna. Most probably with Rapunzel and Elsa. They always come in three before Merida.

"Anna, please." Elsa's soft voice carried out inside.

"If she's really here she would ignore us anyway, you think she'd tell you her problems when your very own mother is in cahoots with her mother? And the fact that you're nosy?" Damn right you are, Punz, Merida thought, still keeping her ear on the door.

"Oh!" Anna exasperated a mock hurt, "I am not nosy. And don't forget your mother is also in league with her mother. Practically sharing the latest gossip, no doubt, I say they're most likely talking about Felix's adopted fifteen kids right about now."

Before Rapunzel could add a nasty remark, Merida stubbed her toe in one of his paper drawers and she let out a gasp. The noise from the impact was heard outside and Anna let out a sigh, "Merida, I swear to God..."

"Anna! What are you going to do?"

"Relax, Elsa, this will be in a moment."

"How'd you gonna open this door from the outside? you dummy." Rapunzel quipped, not liking this situation at all.

Fuck me, Merida grunted and sprang lightly off the door and dashed her way into Hiccup's bedroom (which is now her bedroom, because he refuses to let her sleep on the couch) and searches for places she could hide. Anna was not stupid, that Merida was sure of, they were both in the same camp all those years.

She eyed the closet and she knew it to herself this is the typical place one should NOT hide because movies depict it as such an easy way to be found. But where could she go? Under the bed? Her ass would get stuck halfway through. And in that hysterical search she found out that the closet would have to do, so she opened it and went inside. His jackets were hung up and there were no lights seeping through. Her back was on the dead end and something was sticking down to her lower back. Merida blindly fumbled for it and was alerted to know it was a handle of a sort. Something like from her childhood home, her dad made a secret room for her non-girly toys.

It was for safe keeping from her mom's displeased mind. That little room full of Merida's beloved things and her prized bow, away from being sorted to the trash. Merida warmly smiled to the memory and turned the handle to unlock it. Without any light, Merida pushed through it and heaved a breath, she went and hid there.


"How do you even know how to do that?" Elsa asks, looking from side to side to see if there's anyone who might happen to see what they were doing.

"From summer camp."

"They taught you how to break into somebody's home in summer camp?" Rapunzel crossed her arms.

"From a boy I used to like in summer camp."

"Well, who?"

Anna manages to open the door with a prize grin on her face and winks at her two companions. She lets herself in first, Rapunzel throws Elsa a questionable look, to which she answers with a sad knowing smile, "I think it's Hans."


"Umm, hey dad, yeah it's me, oh I know this has a charge but I'll be quick— it looks like we're coming home," he added a yehey that sounded close to a monotone, "yes, with someone, by Wednesday probably, yes, the guest room, dad, she's not a guy or Flynn for that matter. Okay, bye, thanks, miss you so much, dad!" he quickly disconnected the phone call in fear of personal questions from his ever questioning father.

But one thing's for sure when he got home, there would be a lot and lot of interrogations.

He's not even sure from whom.


She controlled her breathing. Inside the closet's secret little compartment had little air, and the smell of wood and the lack of space was suffocating. And still she remained her composure and listened very attentively to the intruders who are her friends.

"Hiccup!"

"Merida!"

"Hiccup!"

"Red!"

A pause.

"Okay, let's get out of here."

"You can't just quit, Elsa."

"Anna, this is wrong. What if she's really not here? Not only we broke into Hiccup's home, we broke his trust too."

"But Merida's our friend."

"And that's precisely why we need to get out, because if she really needs us, she'll tell us right away. She needs time to herself."

"It's just..." Merida thought Anna was closer to the closet, her voice was nearer. "I feel really guilty."

Merida couldn't see them or what they were doing, she could only hear and guess their actions. She felt awkward hearing them.

"Because we should be here for her."

"Anna, we could've been with her, but we can't do anything about it."

"I know it's just that..." Anna plops on the bed, "we couldn't even take her in into our own home because mom and dad thinks it's for the best if she return to her family. We can't do anything for her. And here's Hiccup, a guy she only just met, is with her, taking care of her. It should have been us, we were her friends first."

"Hey, you." This time it was Rapunzel's calm voice, "we couldn't stop it even if we tried. If we were born in different families that didn't connect with hers, we could have helped her in some ways. But we can't. And I know Merida understands that."

"C'mon now, you guys, don't do this to me. Her family is worried sick about her, you've seen her mother, didn't you?"

"Anna, it's not our place, really. You know how I was with our parents back then."

"But you went home afterwards. What if Merida doesn't come back? You know how she is, she's stubborn as a mule."

"Then that's her decision. We can't force her to something she doesn't agree on."

"Then what are we good for if her very own friends can't help her, make her think about her choices."

"I think you're doing this because you're guilty not mainly you can't help her, I think it's the fact that she was with you when it happened and she stood up for you when no one else has. Not even him. And that makes you angry at yourself and your recent distrust of Hiccup stems from your own experience with—" Elsa didn't dare say the name but with her pointed look at Anna, she knew whom it was. She continued, "It's easy for you to trust someone, Anna, but I can see it in you that since Merida's been hanging out with Hiccup, you're sometimes vocal about him."

Anna sighs and looks at the floor to evaluate Elsa's words. Because in her mind, her sister's not wrong. At first she's okay with the idea of having another friend in their group but that friend got close to Merida real fast, they formed a rather peculiar friendship; Merida and Hiccup, and she knows there's sexual attraction amidst all of it. Everyone can see it, only the two idiots are unaware of it.

And Merida is her best friend, she didn't want her to be heartbroken like she was years ago by a stupid, thieving prick named Hans Isles.

Hiccup, on the other hand, had been respectful to Merida at every turn; at every hangouts he saves her a seat if she's running late, would pick the best slice for her and never did call her derogatory names.

"Alright, alright, I'm gonna stop for the meantime, I'll turn a blind eye for her but if I heard any news of him hurting her, I know how to give a knuckle sandwich."

Anna stands up, looks for a drawer, she was searching for something to write on. If Merida didn't want to be found, she'll have to pass a message.

She opened a drawer full of stationary things and saw a sketch, it made her smile, a genuine one at that, she found a paper and pen and starts writing.


She didn't hear anything else after that, maybe they finally went away for good.

Merida inhaled a breath she was holding. She never knew Anna had felt that way. She doesn't blame her friends for their helplessness, she never even thought about it that way. It was all her troubles and they shouldn't have to feel they were obliged to her care. They're her best friends, she could never hate them nor think differently about them.

She didn't have the heart to drag them to her mess like what she has done to Hiccup. One person is enough to see her that way.

But Hiccup in all of the people she trusts?

Hiccup is the kind of a person who'll listen to you. He's got that eyes that'll capture you and your trust and he'll take care of it. He's a nice person—and Merida can't see anything wrong with him, and it infuriates her. Because perhaps someday, one day, he'll turn out to be just like every other guy there is, and she'll still like Hiccup as he was.

Anna was just being protective, like what Merida had been for her all those years in summer camp. She was the only one who could see right through the Isles boy's facade, had been the one to tell Anna what she thinks of him and she, in turn, didn't listen. And she'd been right all along, and yet, didn't have the heart to tell Anna 'I told you so.'

Anna must've felt it's her time to protect her now, Merida thought, she didn't need it, Hiccup is a good guy. However her time was always with Hiccup ever since they met, maybe Anna thought she was being left out, the both of them were close and this was the first time Merida didn't include her with any of her current problem.

Merida laid back on the same bed Anna, Elsa and Punzie had been. Their scent still lingering inside the room, "I'm sorry." she softly said, the receiver's already gone.


"I got pizzas!"

Merida jumped up to meet his way, ready to manhandle the food. And she didn't missed him. No, no, no, she shook her head. She did NOT wait for him for approximately four hours and eighteen minutes, and she didn't look up to a wall to see the clock, no, no, no—that's really sad to do. And Merida's not that overly pathetic.

No. Just no.

"Where have you been?"

"Somewhere. Why? Missed me already, eh?"

"No, I— I'm hungry." she looks away.

She, Merida "Runaway" Dunbroch, the master of sneaking out of Sunday classes from mom and sensei of excuses, can actually feel shame when lying to him.

And it's not because he's letting her stay in his abode or him providing her food or any of his salvation made her indebted to him, of course she felt she's at his mercy, no doubt, but lying to him makes her feel sick.

It frustrates her.

She can tell him anything..

But not her feelings, and that's a lot.

"Hey, you okay?"

She broke out of her stupor. "Yes, just a bit woozy."

He touched her forehead, "your temperature is okay, did you watched a whole season again? Wait, I think I still have those aspirins."

This...his closeness to her and his ever so caring attitude...it makes her sick too. Like she's actually going to faint.

And fainting is for ninnies.

"No. I'm fine. Really." she said with her tone of masculinity, even patting him on the back. One lie after another, it breeds more. She bit her lip.

"I think some pepperoni and bacon, strictly no pineapple, just what you like, will ease you."

Merida looks at him, a serious expression written on her face, and he seemed to broaden his smile, casting a more radiant glow around him. And she felt scared.

Not of him, but of herself. That, this guy, he actually listens and knows what she wants, who she was and is, and it made her bare before him. And it's not just because he knew her favorite toppings that she's feeling a bit dramatic, rather she's scared that he's brewing up certain feelings she's never felt before.

And it most certainly scared her.

"And Dr. Pepper's," he wiggled his eyebrows at her. Looking somewhat like an idiot who's really geared for a night out like this, or as though he's really content with just pizzas, cooled beverages, Netflix and her— and the last part is the most she hoped for.

To her, she can live forever like this; just him and her.


Hiccup widened his eyes in disbelief.

"So you're telling me Anna, Punz and Elsa went here?"

"Ambushed, a better term."

"Did they see you?"

"No, I hid inside your dingy closet and damn, it has a compartment inside fit for a whole person. It's me, I'm person." She looks at him with eyes that say he better explain.

"I got it on a garage sale after I inquired for an apartment. Some old lady said it's an antique and quite useful for hide and seek if you want to be the winner."

"Jesus Christ, Hic. Aren't you a bit old for that?"

"Yes, but I do collect old stuff and apparently you got its advantage."

She was lucky, indeed, to come across it. Who knows what could've happened if the girls happen to see her? "And oh," Merida's eyes caught his in a deadpan manner, "your security is total shit. Anna somehow got the door open."


Merida enjoys nights like this one; she and Hiccup, lounging on his sofa with his laptop on both on top of their legs', sharing one huge green blanket and food on either sides. Though she didn't like his obvious affection he was throwing at her so easily, he was calm.

How does he do it?

From her periphery she could notice Hiccup was now looking at her. And when the screen turned black, rather fast but still it gave her the momentum she needed, she saw she had been right; the screen reflected him looking at her with those deep, searching eyes and she couldn't help herself but to turn to his way.

"What now, Haddock?"

"Have you ever tried watching films on a plane for a long period of time, I don't know, seven or eight hours, in just one sitting?" Hiccup asks, not at all embarrassed to have been caught staring.

"No. But I listen to music and sleep my way out or focus to stop myself from yanking my hair whenever somebody's kids are crying so loud." She nonchalantly answered. Merida did hope she would look nonplussed because her heart stammered the way she doesn't like, and it's making her feel the sensation of a schoolgirl in love—which she wasn't (or that's what she keeps implying to herself) because she wasn't. Period.

"How about we finish this seventh season inside the plane? Or if someone's kid starts crying we could share earphones."

Hiccup paused their viewing and looked at her, she looked at him back, one of her eyebrows raised, a question ready to be blurted out by her lips. Just as the scene was getting intense, he had to pause it. And he got that goofy smile on his face that she likes, even though she's scowling, she will not admit that, and he took her hand to his warm ones, and she prayed above that he doesn't notice her shaking. Hiccup put something on her palm, light and solid, something like smooth paper. She stares at it for three minutes.

A pair of plane tickets.

She lingered her eyes at them.

He smiled that disarming smile again and she looked back and forth; him and the tickets, which made her head dizzy. Her mouth formed an O and seeing her name and his name and the time of their departure and every detail of the tickets, she found herself cursing and laughing.

And looking at the plane tickets again, she knew, at last, what Charlie had felt, she'll apologize for saying dirt to him earlier —if he's a real person that is, but for now, she's got the blood of a Viking; her most trusted friend to thank for. Her ancestors would have a field day, for sure.

"I like warm hugs too." Hiccup said, returning her sudden embrace.


A/N: I'm really sorry for the wait, really I am. These past few years were really hectic and my studies cannot be put on hold. And 2020, wheeeew! You are such an asshole. THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR ME. THANK YOU! For that, I will be posting more. Their journey isn't over yet.

AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH. .