Interlude - Children


Sigurd announces his decision in the morning, to the uncomfortable dread of all. He notes that every parent will make their own decision, even stay, but the ones that stay have to be aware that they can't guarantee their safety. The recent incidents have proven that all too well. With that weighing on our heads, we move to Lubeck Castle in relative silence.

I cling to Caitriona and Conall, and they know something is wrong. But they don't know what. I… hate all of this.


The day after we moved to Lubeck, the worst of the shock had passed, though not the pain and the dread of making the choice. Did we stay with the army and send the children away? Did we stay with the army and keep the children near? Did we all leave? All had their dangers, and each one weighed heavily on us all, making the choice near impossible. But more than the parents were affected by this, and when the shock faded, other emotions came into play. In Oifeye's case, that included anger and pain.

"Oifeye, my decision is final," Sigurd tried to firmly say. He was too tired, though, to give it any sort of authority. He hadn't slept last night. In fact, that was the whole reason why I was stuck listening to this. Sigurd had nearly passed out and I'd dragged him to his study to give him a check up, because it had been the closest room. Then Oifeye had burst in. "You will leave-"

"No, I'm not!" Oifeye snapped right on back. He clenched his fists at his side, trembling from hurt and anger. As I awkwardly stood next to Sigurd, I distantly noted that this was the first time I ever saw Oifeye yell, especially at Sigurd. He normally kept a good grip on his emotions. "I'm not a child that needs to be protected, Sigurd! I don't bring it up, but I am an adult, older than some of your soldiers!"

"That isn't…" Sigurd tried to stand up, but I stopped him. Sigurd raised a hand to his head to ward off dizziness. He really wasn't healthy enough for this. As I checked him over, I saw how he'd lost weight as well. He hadn't… he wasn't holding up well at all. "Oifeye…"

"So, why are you sending me away?!" Oifeye's voice cracked, but he didn't cry. He stubbornly refused to. "No, forget it! I'm not leaving your side, sir! I'm here until-"

"Oifeye, please." Sigurd put everything he had into those two words, all of his own hurt and fear. "I don't want to lose Seliph. We have no idea where Deirdre is. Quan and Ethlyn are in Leonster. Eldigan is dead. I can't lose more people, Oifeye. But all these battles have proved so clearly that I can't both fight and take care of him." Sigurd's voice barely rose above a whisper, but if anything, that made them all the more heartbreaking. "The attack at Agusty, the start of the civil war, Langbalt… all of them prove that."

"But sir…"

"But I know you can protect him. I know you can take care of him. So, please?" Sigurd looked at him entreatingly, just so incredibly tired. He was too tired to cry at this point. "Please, keep him safe? I'm not sending you away. I'm begging for you to make sure Seliph doesn't die."

"I… that…" Oifeye looked down suddenly, clenching his fists even tighter. I feared he'd bloody his palm. "That's not fair. I can't refuse that." After a moment, Oifeye looked up again, revealing he'd lost the fight against his tears. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll guard him with everything I have." Even with the tears, though, he glowered. "But you have to promise to come get us. I won't leave otherwise."

"Of course." Sigurd tried to smile, but it looked and felt flat. It hurt him to send Oifeye away, just as much as it hurt him to send Seliph away. With Duke Byron dead and Ethlyn in Leonster, he would be without family for the very first time since this campaign began. "I promise. Once things settle, once it's safe, we'll find you."

"Okay." Oifeye deflated and slumped, covering his face to try and muffle his crying. "Okay."

Sigurd tried to get up again, to comfort him, but I stopped him, again. Sigurd needed to rest and he would comfort no one if he fell flat on his face. So, I stepped around the desk to give Oifeye a hug. However, I only made it two steps before the door slammed open again, this time revealing a surprising irate Shanan.

"Hey, what's this I hear about Oifeye leaving with Seliph?" he demanded with a scowl. After a moment of the rest of us staring in various degrees of shock, Shanan roughly shook his head. "Nope, no way! Deirdre put me in charge of protecting Seliph, and I'm not handing that job to anyone, not even Oifeye, until she says it's okay!"

"I… Shanan…" Sigurd began, not sure what else to do. He gave me an incomprehensible look, and I just shrugged and held my hands up in silent surrender. I was just as lost as him. "Shanan, for safety…"

"No, no, I get all that. Aunt Ayra explained. I'm just leaving with them!" Shanan drew himself up proudly. Once again, Sigurd and I exchanged looks. We had been wondering what to do with Shanan, since he was still a 'child', but not one so young that decisions had to be made for him. We also worried it would trigger memories of his flight from Isaach. "Besides, you're from Grannvale, remember? And Grannvale is probably not well liked. But I'm their prince. I can keep them safe with that!"

"...All right." Sigurd smiled sadly. "You can leave with Oifeye and Seliph, then. You're right. You can keep them safe too."

"Yep!" Shanan laughed, victorious, and then blinked a few times. "Oh, wait, Oifeye, you're in here. Oops."

I used that as an opportunity to make all three of them sit down for tea, talk, and rest. I made some medicinal tea for both Sigurd and Oifeye, to deal with exhaustion and headaches respective, and a sweeter one for Shanan because he hated bitter things. I sent for food as well, and only when I was certain all three would be okay did I leave. I tried to not breathe a sigh of relief at my escape. I certainly didn't regret helping Sigurd or anything, but that had been uncomfortable to be caught in the middle of. Worse, it made me wonder if that was how my own children would react. They were too young to understand, yet…

"Argh, I'm so tired of this!" Dew's annoyed voice startled me, and I jogged towards the sound, wondering what was going on. I found Dew scowling at Jamke in the gardens, though, and quickly hid behind some of the bushes to avoid being caught in the middle of another argument. "Everybody has been saying that," Dew continued, voice surprisingly angry. I was also surprised by how deep his voice was. The 'you are too young to be around' thing. But I'm seventeen now, you know. Pretty sure that's considered 'adult' in most places." A quick look showed Jamke was a little startled by all of this. "I'm sick of it! We're not desperately losing or anything, but everyone's being weird! Then you're saying the same thing as them! The hell?"

"I…" Jamke began. He paused, grimaced, and then nodded. "Sorry, you're right. We're all on edge. Crossing Yied won't be easy, so we're all desperately thinking 'must get the children away to safety', and forget that some of these 'children' aren't anymore."

"I get it. It's just annoying." Dew shrugged and then looked down. "Hey… uh…"

"Hmm?"

"I never thanked you for setting me free. I know it was just because Aideen asked you to, but you still could've ignored it. But you didn't. So, I'm really grateful." Dew actually bowed slightly. "And I'm grateful that you've kept an eye on me all these years too, so I'm also sorry for any and all the trouble I've caused."

"Dew…" Jamke was startled for a moment before he grinned and ruffled Dew's hair. "What are you doing, getting all mushy like that? Now you're the one being weird."

"Yeah, well, that's just in case someone manages to chase me off to 'safety'!" Dew stuck his tongue out and Jamke laughed. "But I mean it. You're like a big brother or something, and I appreciate it. And now, I'm going to run away!" He grinned and bolted. "See you later!"

"Until then!" Jamke watched him leave, his smile fading the farther Dew got. "He senses something too, huh?" He sighed, shook his head, and turned. Automatically, I ducked back behind the bushes to hide. But I might as well not have bothered. "Alicia?"

"Um… hello?" I called sheepishly. I leaned out from behind the bushes and waved awkwardly. "I… uh… take it that this was a bad hiding spot."

"From where I stand, I can clearly see the top of your head," Jamke noted dryly. He covered his mouth to try and hide his laugh. "And how tangled your hair is."

"How…" I pulled at my hair and groaned when I realized he was right. My hair was tangled in the branches. "Darn it…"

"Here." Jamke crouched by me and helped me free my hair. "Why did you hide?"

"In retrospect, I should've left, but that clearly involves more sense than I have." After a moment, I just let Jamke handle my hair. All I was doing was tangling it up further. "I just left Sigurd, Oifeye, and Shanan…"

"That had to be a comfortable talk." Jamke's voice was so sarcastic that I just had to laugh. "I think I can guess from there." He got the last of my hair freed and helped me up. "You're pale. How are you doing?"

"That's…" I struggled to think of a word that described everything, but eventually, I just smiled bitterly and shrugged. "That."

"Right. Should've anticipated that. Midir has been agonizing over the decision as well." He hesitated a moment before patting my shoulder. "You know; it is temporary. The separation, I mean. I'm sure it still hurts and all, but it's not that different form, say, when the army marched off to Trove."

"...I think you mean 'Thove'."

"That… um…" Jamke blushed with embarrassment, and I couldn't help but laugh. "R-regardless! It's just temporary. You'll see them again, if you decide to send them away. It won't be forever."

"...I suppose…" I smiled, finding some comfort in the awkward words. I had been thinking of it like my own abandonment, but he was right. It wouldn't be like with my mother, who died after sending me away. I would reunite with them. With luck, they wouldn't even remember this separation. "I've been overthinking."

"Everyone is on edge." He shrugged and smiled. "Anyway, I'm guessing you're heading to the infirmary."

"Am I so predictable?" I held up a hand when he smirked. "No, don't answer that. I would, however, appreciate an escort, just in case there are more awkward conversations that I don't want to eavesdrop on."

"Of course." He laughed. "Let's go, then."


"I am going to stay." The words were hard to say, particularly when I just blurted them into the silence. Chulainn and I had been playing with our children before bed, but the weight of the decision had made us far quieter. "I am going to stay with the army," I repeated, not looking up. I just continued playing a clapping game with Caitriona, wondering when I would next get a chance to. "There are too few healers, and I have promises to keep." I had to keep an eye on Sigurd, for both Eldigan and Deirdre. "So…"

"Okay," Chulainn replied quietly. He didn't look at me either. He was on the floor, making Conall's stuffed dog jump about like it was a real dog. Conall loved it. "That makes sense."

"Yes." Caitriona and I finished the game and she reached up for a hug. I clung to her tightly. "You could leave with them, though. The children, I mean. I'll miss you all, but I know you don't fighting and-"

"And who's going to make sure you don't work yourself to an early death?" Chulainn smiled up at me and shook his head. "I'll miss the children dearly, but they will be safer within Isaach's borders. The Yied is harsh on a child, as I well know."

"You… oh, of course you crossed it." The only way to leave Isaach was through the mountains or through the desert. Though maybe some ships…

"Worked in it. Yied is neutral technically, but it's close enough to the Manster District and Thracia for there to be frequent conflicts. You get a lot of mercenary jobs." He shrugged and moved to sit on the bed by me. Conall, sensing something wrong, immediately crawled into my lap to hug me too. "But the fighting will be difficult. So will the healing. We will both be too busy to properly keep an eye on them."

"When we reach Phinora, I'm sure things will be better." Phinora was one of the two major cities within the inhospitable Yied Desert, the other being Darna. "Velthomer isn't all that far from there. Erinys could even fly over."

"Reaching there, however, will be difficult." Chulainn continued to play with Conall and Caitriona, the two enjoying the 'game' with the stuffed dog. "The desert is the closest place to death and hell that I can think of, including a battlefield. There is a beauty to it, but the heat will burn us. The nights will freeze us. The sands are hard to move through. And that's not even going into the possibility of a storm." He stopped playing with the two to run his hand through Caitriona's hair. "A child can easily die in the desert, even with the parents being attentive. One mistake can mean the end."

"Yes…" I hugged Conall and Caitriona crawled into Chulainn's lap for cuddles. "But are you sure you want to keep fighting, Chulainn? If you're worried about me, our friends do keep a good eye on me."

"Yes, but I do want to keep fighting for Sigurd. He'll need all the blades he can get for this last part of the journey home, and he's dear to you." Chulainn held Caitriona above his head, to her laughter. She loved that 'game' the most. "Ayra is also here, and even if she's been bothering me about nonsense, she's still my best friend. I'd hate to lose Beowolf, because it's fun snarking about the knights and how they can't hold their alcohol. Lex needs someone to keep an eye on him. I could go on, but.." He brought Caitriona to his chest and kissed her head. "I'll fight for their sakes."

"I see." I smiled in relief. I'd hate if he stayed just for my sake. "Well, it won't be for forever. It'll just be until things are safe."

"Exactly." He set Caitriona on the bed and kissed my cheek. "I'll go tell Sigurd."

"...Thank you…" I smiled tearfully at him. Even though I knew this was best, it still hurt. I didn't want to cry in front of Sigurd over this, though. I knew he hated himself for the decision and the pain it was causing us. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed me sweetly and left the room, shutting the door to make sure Caitriona and Conall couldn't sneak out after him. Smiling a bit, I moved Conall to the bed as well and watched as he and Caitriona played. I wanted to remember this and their smiles. It would be a bit before I could see them again.

However, to my surprise, someone knocked on the door not too long after Chulainn left. "Come in?" I called, frowning. It was quite late, after all. "Is there an emergency?"

"No, there's not." Aideen opened the door and tiptoed inside. "Or if there is one, I don't know it," she tried to joke. However, her smile was strained. "I just had a question."

"It couldn't have waited until the morning?" That was… odd. Aideen had never needed to ask me such an important question. Normally, she'd go to Brigid or Lachesis. "Well, what is it then?"

"Well…" She fidgeted with her hands, like she was trying to weave the words she wanted together. To give her time, and to stop frowning over her odd behavior, I focused on my twins, who were playing with their toys without a care in the world. "Are you staying? With the army?"

"Yes, I am." I returned my attention to her, just in time to see her breathe a sigh of relief. "Was that truly a wonder? I am a bit of a workaholic."

"Well, yes, but I… oh, never mind." She grimaced and fidgeted even more. "So… um… oh, why is this difficult?" Now she just growled in frustration. "Argh…"

"You could emulate Brigid and be as blunt as possible."

"Brigid isn't that bad." She made a face, but did relax slightly. "Oh, very well. So, I thought I was feeling nauseous over the decision, but then I got dizzy, so Midir insisted I get looked at. A good thing." She smiled tearfully and rested her hands on her stomach. I finally figured it out then. "I'm pregnant again, and I want this child so badly."

"You can't stay here then!" I was on my feet in an instance, automatically giving her a cursory checkup. I could already tell… "Your first pregnancy was hard, as was the birthing, and that was without all this stress."

"Exactly. So, I think I'll leave with Oifeye and Shanan. It'll be good for there to be a healer with them anyway." Now she started to cry. "Ah… why…? I can't stop…?"

"You were weepy the first months of your first pregnancy, remember?" I rested my forehead against hers and cupped her face. "I will feel infinitely better sending Caitriona and Conall away, knowing you'll be there as well. Oifeye and Shanan are skilled, but some things, only a healer can deal with."

"P-precisely." She managed a smile through the tears. "And it's just temporary. We'll see each other again. It's just…"

"It's painful, because we're all so used to being together." It was painful, because there were going to be so many things I'd miss. But if it meant them being safe… gods, I really did understand why my mother chose what she did. "Try to keep mine from wild animals?"

"I'll do my best!" She laughed. It wobbled a lot, but it was a laugh. "They'll be fine. I promise."

"Then I have little to fear." At least, I had little to fear for them. It was everything else that scared me.

Why was all of this happening? Why couldn't we have just stayed in Silesse? Why did Langbalt have to attack us? Why?


After Chulainn and I made our decision, the other parents began talking to us. That was when I learned most had talked to Erinys, since she had left Ced back in Silesse Castle. After that, I felt silly twice over. The first was because I had, idiotically, only thought about it in my own head. The second was being so shaken when Erinys went through the same. When I talked to her, though, she noted that my chief problem lied more in my own issues, which she couldn't help with sadly, and that she left Ced in the loving care of his grandmother, in a defensible castle, surrounded by knights. We were sending our children into the outskirts of Isaach, a dangerous area, but less dangerous than the Yied Desert. The offer to send the children to Silesse was still there, but considering how well Langbalt had infiltrated, we were honestly worried. Erinys admitted to me she was terrified, actually. But she had faith in Queen Rahna and the knights that remained.

"I feel like how I did after Eldigan died, if you can forgive the melodrama of it all," Lachesis murmured. She and I were walking through the gardens, while I listened to her. "I feel horribly lost. I don't want to leave Diarmuid. For one thing, he's my son and Finn hasn't even gotten to meet him yet. For another, Diarmuid doesn't eat solid foods yet, so I'm terribly worried about how they would feed him."

"That is a legitimate worry," I reassured. Honestly, I worried about such things too. It would be hard for Aideen, Oifeye, and Shanan to feed everyone while being on the run. But I had to hold faith and it wouldn't be for long. ...I repeated that phrase so many times, but it was honestly the only way I was making it through this. "Though, if they can make it to a village…"

"They can find a wet nurse. I know that, but I worry anyway." She sighed. "Then there's the whole leaving thing. I know I could, but I… I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes, I'm scared that if I leave, I'll hear that Sigurd died soon after I left. Like how Eldigan died." She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. I tugged her into a one-armed hug and kissed her temple. "Plus, you know, I've trained hard to become a Master Knight, finally accomplishing it. With Aideen leaving, I also feel you need the extra healer. I know I'm not the most magically powerful, but I'm skilled enough to wield the strongest of staves."

"That you are." She could wield every single staff I could, in fact, with only the Valkyrie staff being out of her reach. "I'm not sure you'd be put in charge of an infirmary, but Tailtiu honestly could do that." Tailtiu had been doing rather well helping out in the infirmary, and she was almost as good with staves. I'd discuss it with Claude and her, later. "With that said, though, since Diarmuid's feeding is your primary concern, and honestly should be one of the deciding factors, I'd recommend talking to Aideen, Oifeye, and Shanan."

"...Yeah, that's probably a good idea." She hesitated a bit, but I nudged her forward. "Thanks, Alicia! I'll talk to you later!"

"Have a good talk!" I waved her goodbye, keeping my smile until she was out of sight. I let it fall as soon as she was out of sight, though, and took a deep breath to help calm myself down.

The mention of Finn reminded me that we hadn't heard from Leonster in a couple of months. We had just gotten one letter after Diarmuid's birth, all that the messenger could carry safely given everything. It had consisted of Quan, Ethlyn, and Finn all fighting over the pen. It had provided as many laughs as there were words, from Quan and Ethlyn freaking out over how Finn was a father and had eloped with Lachesis to Finn quietly panicking over the knowledge that he was, in fact, a father. In between the laughs were heartwarming words of reassurance and love. I wondered how they were all doing. I wanted to see them again. I knew Ethlyn could relate to the worry of sending a child away to safety while fighting. I knew she'd make me smile to help me feel better. I knew Quan would quietly fret over everyone and make sure they had their favorite things. I knew Finn would be a silent pillar of support, helping in small ways and never calling attention to it. I hoped I got to see them soon. I really did.

Still, that was a hope for the future and there were still many things to worry about in the present. So after a few more breaths to help me calm myself a bit, I continued on my walk, since I still had time before my shift in the infirmary. Eventually, I heard snatches of conversation and walked towards them curiously. It wasn't long before I discovered it was Lex and Azel, though they were up on a balcony above me, and had no idea I was near.

"But that's neither here nor there," Lex laughed, poking Azel's cheek. The sound was a little hollow. "You look horrible Azel." From what I could see from below, both of them looked like they hadn't slept in a while. "You and Tailtiu having a spat or something?"

"No, not at all," Azel growled. He batted Lex's hand away. "What are you so happy for anyway? Considering…"

"Ah. My dad." Lex fell silent, looking out over everything. Neither saw me. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't hurt from it. But he deserved his death. Caused a war just to assassinate Prince Kurth. Killed Ayra's family for that. Not to mention the whole…"

"You started living with us in Velthomer after he beat you." Azel smiled faintly. "You always said that it was just temporary, but Arvis would always say that you could stay as long as you wanted."

"Well, Arvis gave us a lot of free reign. Always has been kind to us, though a little unreadable."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. But leaving when I did, to fight and all…" Azel fell silent, closing his eyes. "I think I can understand him a little better now. Maybe I should've moved out or something before then."

"Spread your wings, find your own path and life. That's all."

"Yeah…" Azel opened his eyes again and looked at Lez. "What are you going to do? With your children?"

"...Ayra and I are still trying to figure it out." He winced, though, and Azel rested a hand on his back. "It's a hard decision."

"I know. Alicia's been crying a lot. She tries to hide it to not worry me, but I can tell."

I decided to keep on walking then, mostly because of how guilty I felt. I really had been trying to keep to myself to not worry him, but it had the opposite effect. I supposed that made sense, but it still… ah, I didn't know. I'd have to make it up to him, and I did need to make sure he had plenty of opportunities to play with Caitriona and Conall, since it would be a while. Of course, the plans made me think longingly of taking a walk and going on picnics. It was too dangerous to do so now. We'd have to have a large family picnic when all of this was over, with Tailtiu, Arvis, and Diadora as well. It would be fun.

"Sylvia, please think on this!" Erinys's near-desperate plea startled me and I ran towards the noise automatically. I checked myself just before I burst into the room where I heard it, and peeked inside to see Erinys near tears, Sylvia already crying, and poor Lene being very confused and upset. "It's going to be dangerous!" she snapped. It was really unusual for her to snap. "The Yied Desert-"

"I've traveled through the desert, Erinys!" Sylvia retorted harshly. I had never heard them argue before. "I lived in Darna for a time. I know how dangerous it can be."

"If that's the case…!"

"But I'm not changing my mind. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not sending Lene away. She's been having health troubles. It's better she stays near." Sylvia shook her head roughly. I half-felt like storming in to shake her, but stopped myself. I didn't have that right, friend or not. "That's all there is to it."

"Sylvia!" Besides, Erinys looked ready to shake her too. "Of all the times to be stubborn!"

"I'm scared, okay?!" Sylvia's voice cracked and poor Lene began crying, because of all the loud noises. "Everyone I've ever cared about has either hurt me or left. Lewyn was the first person to be kind and stay. This army is the only home I know. I can't leave it!"

"But Lene…!"

"I'll be careful! And if there's only a few, it should be safer! I'll handle everything. It's not like I'm much use on the field anyway!" Sylvia was barely understandable through the tears now. "Let me stay! Please! If I leave, I'm sure everyone will just…!" Sylvia completely broke down, and Erinys's worried-anger immediately fled, replaced by frantic comforting of both Sylvia and Lene.

I thought about stepping in to help, but then I decided to instead go get Claude. He was working in the infirmary, so I'd just take over his shift so that he could go to Sylvia. Besides, much as I was annoyed and frustrated, I also couldn't blame Sylvia. I, too, was scared that this separation would be permanent, even though all logic dictated we'd see them again before long. The only reason I didn't break down was because I had more experience controlling my own emotions, due to my healer's training, and because I knew Chulainn and I simply wouldn't be able to spend all our time with the children to make sure they would be safe. But it would be okay. It would all… be okay...


Almost a week after Sigurd's announcement and our move to Lubeck, it was time for Oifeye, Shanan, and Aideen to depart with most of the children. Only Lene would remain, with Claude reluctantly agreeing to Sylvia's pleas. I thought it was more that she out-stubborned him, but it wasn't my place to ask. It was just as it was, and there was too much to worry about as it was. There were bags to pack, for instance, filled with clothes, diapers, trinkets, toys, and some of the portraits. There could only be one pack for each 'set' of parents, since there was already so much else to carry. Chulainn and I had stayed up most of the night packing as much as we could while still being reasonable. At first, I feared that Caitriona and Conall would have to leave behind their stuffed-dogs, but their ability to walk fairly well saved them from that. They could just carry them.

"There are small things in the bag, so please be careful," I warned Oifeye, handing him Caitriona and Conall's bag. "There's a pair of earrings, for one thing."

"Got it," Oifeye reassured. He slung the bag over his shoulder and smiled bravely. I knew he was about to cry, and I… I felt the same. Oifeye had been here since the beginning. He had helped me through that very first battle, way back in Jungby, when things were simple. "...This is weird. We say goodbye for battles, but…"

"It does feel different." I hugged him tightly, holding back tears. "Ah, whatever am I to do without my helper?"

"Hey, I made sure to help out extra these past few days." Oifeye hugged me back, clinging. "Thank you for everything you've taught me, from mending to medicine making. I'll keep everyone safe, so you just worry about coming to find us, okay?"

"As soon as it's safe, I will be right there." I pulled away and kissed his forehead. "Thank you for watching them for me, Oifeye. I'll see you soon."

"Yes, soon." He smiled warmly, and abruptly walked away. I laughed a bit, knowing it was because he was holding back tears. He was determined to not cry today. We would see each other off with smiles.

"Alicia!" Shanan jumped over for a hug and I caught him easily. "Alicia, you promise to come get us, right?" he asked, sulking slightly. In the last couple of days, he'd gotten second thoughts about leaving, remembering of how he and Ayra had left behind his father to 'go to safety'. His father had died. "Right?"

"Of course," I reassured. Thinking of something I'd seen in the village, I held out my pinky. He hooked his around mine, grinning. A 'pinky swear' was supposed to be a promise that couldn't be broken. "When I see you again, let's go to that waterfall."

"That'll be amazing!" He laughed, bright and cheerful now. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." I hugged him again, marveling at how much he had grown since we first met. He was twelve years old now, just starting a growth spurt, and he started to wear his hair long, much like Ayra. His voice hadn't started changing yet, but it would soon likely. "You've grown up well. I look forward to seeing how tall you get."

"I'm determined to be taller than Uncle Lex!" Shanan puffed out his chest and I had to laugh. Lex was one of the tallest in the army; he certainly didn't set his sights 'small'. "Just watch!"

"I look forward to it." I kissed his forehead and walked with him over to where Caitriona and Conall were playing with their dogs. However, they immediately toddled over to me, knowing something was wrong, and reached out for hugs. I hugged them tightly and kissed their cheeks. "We will meet again, you two. I know it. So be good for Shanan, okay?" I pulled away, but the children clung. "Ah…"

"Hey, it'll be okay!" Shanan helped me step away, and he took their free hands in his. "We're playing a game. We're going to hide super well, and they're going to find us!" I wasn't sure if they quite understood the words, but they recognized his cheer and smiled. "Come on! You'll hide with me!"

"I love you, Shanan."

"Love you too, Alicia!" He began walking away. "See you soon!"

"Yes…" I watched them for a moment, making sure to smile and wave when Caitriona and Conall looked back. I nearly broke down when they smiled and waved back. "Ah…" To distract myself, I looked away, noticing that most of the goodbyes were wrapping up.

"Sir, I can't take this!" Oifeye protested about something. It took a bit of finding him in the crowd to see he was trying to refuse Sigurd giving him a silver sword, the same silver sword that Arvis had given him, when all this began. "It's…"

"If you're worried that I'll be without a weapon, Oifeye, I do have Tyrfing now," Sigurd reminded gently. Ignoring Oifeye's stammers, he attached the sword to Oifeye's belt. "But if you're going to protect everyone, you need a good sword. Chulainn is giving Shanan a silver blade to practice with, but I know you can use this."

"But…"

"You're just keeping it until I come for you, okay?" Sigurd smiled warmly at Oifeye and, after a moment, Oifeye smiled back. "It's to make sure you have a good weapon to fight with, if you have to."

"Yes, sir." Oifeye leaned against Sigurd, still struggling to hold back tears. "We'll be waiting."

"I'll be there soon."

"Alicia!" Aideen caught me in a giant hug. "Ah, I miss you already," she whispered. I hugged her back, not really saying anything. We had said our 'goodbyes' last night, where we could safely cry. "Be back soon."

"We will, as soon as we can." I smiled as brightly as I could for her. She smiled back just as brightly. "So, until then."

"Until then." She kissed my cheek and walked off, joining the departure group. After one last set of goodbyes and waves, they… they began to leave.

Almost as soon as they turned away, some of us began crying. I held Lachesis as she quietly sobbed. She had been debating whether or not Diarmuid would leave with them. She ultimately decided that his safety took priority, especially since Ayra found a village not far away where they could find a nursemaid. But it had been painful, and it was… this was one of those strange decisions that you didn't really regret, but gods, you hated all the pain.

"Ayra, why are you staying with us?" Sigurd asked quietly at some point. He passed her a handkerchief to help wipe her face. She, like most of us, had been crying. Honestly, only Chulainn was dry-eyed; I'd long lost my own battles against my tears. "Not that I'm not grateful. You're one of our strongest fighters. But you were…"

"Yes, I promised my brother I'd take care of Shanan, but Shanan is old enough to watch for himself now," Ayra explained. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, once she dried her tears, no more joined them. "As you can tell by him deciding to leave on his own."

"Yes, but…"

"I will return to Isaach as soon as this war is finished, but it wouldn't be right to leave you now, Sigurd." She smiled warmly, reassuringly, and proudly. "I owe you more than I can ever say and ever hope to repay, Sigurd. Thanks to you, Shanan and I survived and thrived. So, I will not leave until you are safely home, Sigurd. It is the absolute least I can do."

"...And there's no way I can convince you that you don't owe me anything, huh?"

"Not in the least. In Isaach, we repay our debts. My sword arm is yours, Sigurd. I will fight to the end with you, and not regret a second of it."

"Thank you." Sigurd smiled softly and then turned to the rest of us. It was just us parents here, minus Sylvia, Claude, Erinys, and Lewyn. We had begged for that quiet. "Okay, everyone. Let's head inside. Knowing… everyone, actually… there's warm drinks and treats waiting for us."

I passed Lachesis off to Sigurd, letting her continue to sob into his shoulder so that I could rub at my eyes. When I made to follow the group, though, Chulainn hugged me from behind. I wondered why for a brief moment, but then he hid his face in my shoulder and I felt the tears. So, instead, we lingered outside, with me leaning into him, so that he could quietly cry without anyone fussing over him.

It was safer. We knew this. But gods, it was painful. It was so, so painful.


Author's note: The Jamke-Dew, Lex-Azel, and Sigurd-Ayra conversations are all based on talks in the game, which can be viewed after Lubeck is conquered. The 'argument' Sigurd and Oifeye have is also based on their dialogue in game, as is Shanan insisting on coming along. Aideen leaving with the children comes from the Oosawa manga (Lachesis also leaves at this point in the manga, because Diarmuid isn't born yet). Ayra's line about paying debts and fighting to the end alongside Sigurd are based on her Heroes dialogue.

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