Chapter 29) Why?
The journey to Belhalla is long and lazy, especially when compared to how we normally travel. Azel and I spend most of the time sleeping, though occasionally, he'll point out landmarks he recognizes through the window and shares stories of traveling along th roads. To avoid Reptor and his forces, we take a winding way to Belhalla, and Azel and I joke that we'll get to Belhalla after the main group at the rate we're going. But eventually, the city of Belhalla comes into sight and, with it, the promise of safety and sanctuary.
It's finally over. Thank everything. Finally, we're all safe.
When we arrived in Belhalla, a Velthomer soldier met us at the entrance and showed us the way inside, easily navigating the sprawling hallways. Belhalla's castle was as large as Agusty's, if not larger, and I was sure it was just as pretty, though I was far too tired to actually study anything. I'd look better over the next few days, and maybe find some gardens to walk through. But for now, Azel and I followed the soldier, nodding politely to those we passed, both rather excited as we processed what all of this meant.
Eventually, the soldier left us at the door of a study, leaving with a quick bow. Azel and I knocked on the door, but frowned when there was no response. We looked at each other in confusion, and he nudged me. After a moment, I called, "Lord Brother?"
There was a long second of silence before we suddenly heard the sounds of someone abruptly standing up and knocking over a chair, of papers and various objects falling, and of someone cursing and scrambling about. Azel and I looked at each other again when we definitely heard the sound of someone falling. But that didn't matter, because after that, the door opened to reveal Arvis. He was thinner than last time I had seen him. His hair was longer, and a bit mussed from the antics inside. But his smile was the same as always.
"You're home…" he breathed, seizing us both in a hug. We hugged him back tightly, fighting back tears. "You're finally, finally home." He kissed both of our cheeks and showed us inside his incredibly messy study. "Come in. Sit. Let me get a fire started… no, Azel, sit and rest. I mean it." Azel rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out childishly. "Let me… clean up a little… I swear this place is normally neat. No, sit and rest, you two!"
Though Azel and I repeatedly tried to help, Arvis insisted that we just sit by the fireplace and relax while he straightened things up, got the fire going, and sent for a servant to fetch something. I smiled when the servant returned with three steaming mugs of apple cider. It reminded me of the promises both Arvis and Azel made me, and I couldn't be happier, though I did have to wonder if he had this specifically set aside for us.
"Aida sent word you were on your way, but you got here earlier than I thought," Arvis explained after he finally sat down with us. I noticed he wore a pair of beautiful cufflinks and recognized them as Sigurd's wedding gift for him. That also made me smile; Sigurd had ordered them custom. "I'd actually hoped to meet you at the entrance."
"Aw, but then we wouldn't have gotten to surprise you!" Azel teased. The trip over, and the knowledge that we were finally safe, had brought back quite a bit of his cheer, and it was a delight to see him smiling freely again. "Were you surprised?"
"Completely and utterly. I clearly need to be careful when you two conspire." Still, he laughed, not bothered in the slightest. I noticed his smiles were freer than they had been, and was glad the married life seemed to suit him. "But enough of that. Is it just you two? No Lex and Tailtiu? I'd hoped to meet Chulainn, Caitriona, and Conall, at least."
"Chulainn remained with the army to help with the fighting," I explained. When he frowned, I shook my head. "Oh, don't fret so. He's a very skilled fighter and he dare not risk my wrath if he gets injured."
"Of course…" Arvis whispered. His eyes were a little dark, and I frowned because it didn't seem to be just from worry. But I couldn't place what, and Azel didn't seem to notice anything, so maybe I was just paranoid. "Caitriona and Conall?"
"They're in Isaach." I smiled sadly, remembering that parting. It still hurt. But soon, I would see them again. "We had a couple of hard battles, and didn't want to risk the children going through the desert, so we sent them to safety in Isaach."
"I'm not sure how safe Isaach is, at least for Grannvalians." Arvis was definitely frowning now, but the worry in his eyes now seemed 'normal'. "It's been quite chaotic there. Danann has asked for reinforcements many times while trying to keep order."
"Yeah, but Shanan went with the group," Azel pointed out quickly. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, knowing he'd brought that up to reassure me too. "Besides, Alicia's kids are half-Isaachian anyway, and got the Odo blood, with a Mark and everything. They're all perfectly fine. I'm sure of it." He waved off any worries we might've had, and Arvis relaxed after a moment. "But that's besides the point. You should see Alicia's ring!"
"Ring?" Arvis repeated. He immediately returned his attention to me, and I laughed at how his eyes sparkled. "When did you get a ring? You didn't write about that."
"It was right before Andrei ambushed us," I explained, setting down my mug. I took off my glove, though, and held out my hand so that he could see. "Isn't it pretty?"
"It's beautiful!" Arvis took my hand and angled it so that the rings was a little more visible. "So, is this your engagement ring?"
"No, it's a 'bought this because the little brother just would not shut up about it and it is painful seeing him try to be subtle' ring." I giggled, though, especially when Azel looked away sheepishly. "But Chulainn bought a set of earrings for Caitriona that match!" I picked my mug back up and sipped the cider. It was really good. "Though, Conall could also wear them. We don't know if either of them will even like earrings."
"I hope so. It'll be fun, buying them jewelry." Arvis laughed and looked at both of us, fondly and worriedly. "You're both weary. I can see the tiredness in your smiles."
"A lot happened in a short amount of time, Arvis," Azel noted quietly. I winced as I thought of Ethlyn and Quan again. That was going to hurt for a while, even with the relief of things finally being over. "But we're together again, and everything is going to be fine. We'll have time to talk of sad things later."
"I suppose so," Arvis whispered. He smiled sadly at us, but quickly changed the subject. "Say, Alicia, I forgot to ask and Aida has been bothering me about this. Have Caitriona and Conall shown magic talent yet? It's not uncommon for those of Vala to start playing with fire around age one."
"Oh, don't tell her that!" Azel laughed and I comically grimaced, truthfully more than a little worried now. I hadn't known that and hadn't thought to warn Oifeye, Aideen, or Shanan about that. I could only hope there were no accidental fires. "They hadn't when we last saw then, but I'll start with lessons or something once they're back."
"You?" Arvis sulked a bit. "I can teach them, you know. I taught you."
"Yeah, but you're going to be busy! You've got the kingdom to worry about now, and a wife!" Azel grinned and then made a point to look around. "Say, where is Diadora? I've been looking forward to meeting her."
"She's with King Azmur at the moment." Arvis got a thoughtful look on his face, and I went through my pack to pull out the Book of Naga before I forgot, again. I needed to give this to them. I promised Sigurd I would. "Actually, Alicia, if you don't mind, can you look at him? His health began deteriorating after Prince Kurth's death, and while he improved after Diadora appeared…"
"Oh, of course, I can!" I agreed without hesitation. "I'd be happy to!" I scowled when Azel rolled his eyes. "Shush, you."
"You're both complete workaholics," Azel teased anyway, sticking his tongue out. I huffed a bit and stood up, grabbing one of my healing staves and the Book of Naga. Silence and Sleep were next to my pack, and while part of me thought I should take at least one, I decided against it. I wouldn't need them here. "Whatever. It's not like we have to rush in catching up."
"Very true." I leaned down to kiss his cheek and to whisper in his ear. "Hey, don't tell him about you and Tailtiu until I can see too?" Azel was still determined to surprise Arvis with that. He even tucked his necklace under his collar, to make sure Arvis couldn't somehow guess based on that. "He really will have the best reaction."
"Mmm, okay. Just for you, Lady Sister."
"What are you two talking about?" Arvis asked. He'd moved to the door and watched us in confusion. "What are you doing?"
"Conspiring," Azel answered instantly with a bright grin. Arvis frowned suspiciously. "Go on, go on! We're just plotting another surprise."
"I'm doomed, clearly." Arvis rolled his eyes, and Azel and I laughed as I followed Arvis out the door and down the hall. "What surprise? What else is there?"
"You're not getting a single hint from me," I teased, shaking my head. I practically bounced as I stepped, just… happy. It was fun, being able to tease him again. It was nice, to work on someone with an illness and not bleeding out. "You just have to be good and wait."
"I really am doomed!" Arvis groaned. Still, he smiled. "Ah, I missed this. I'm so glad to see you again. I don't think I ever went even a year without seeing you, and then…"
"You went ten years, or nine years I suppose, once."
"Those don't count. I hadn't met you yet." He tugged me into a one-armed-hug, and I laughed, conceding the point. "This way, though. I can't wait for you to meet Diadora. You'll adore her."
"I already do. She sent me letters, remember?"
"Ah. Right."
"Did you really forget?"
"Shush."
"You did!"
As we walked, I continued teasing him, mostly because I found it so easy and hilarious, and he teased back and protested in equal measure. The servants we passed smiled at us indulgently as they bowed politely, and I wondered how many knew I was his sister. I wondered how many guessed. I wasn't wearing a hood at the moment, simply a jacket, so my hair was clearly visible. With Arvis right next to me, it was very obvious what shade of red it was. But I could fret on that another time. After all, I was still fairly certain Chulainn and I would live in Silesse, so it wouldn't matter as much if people knew or didn't know.
"Oh my, I didn't expect people at this hour." An oddly familiar voice caught me off-guard, and I broke off mid-teasing to look for the source. It wasn't hard. The man in a hooded robe was the only other person in the hallway, besides Arvis and me. "Good afternoon," he greeted, bowing his head slightly. The robes were familiar. The voice was familiar. I didn't like that they were familiar. "Are you visiting King Azmur?"
"Yes, Manfroy," Arvis replied easily. While he held himself warily, he still talked politely. He knew this man. "But you need to be careful walking around still."
"As I said, I expected the hallway to be empty. We try to keep things quiet for the ailing king." He smiled slowly, and dread creeped down my spine at how familiar it was and at how familiar the calculating gleam in his eyes was. If I didn't know better, I would swear this man was the one who nearly killed me, and kidnapped Deirdre. But… but surely, that wasn't… "Best be careful later. The sky grows overcast."
"I'll keep it in mind." Arvis nodded, and I frowned, becoming more and more confused by the second. It couldn't be that man. But if it was, then what was he doing here? How would Arvis know him? "Until later, Manfroy."
"Of course." Manfroy bowed slightly, his eyes falling on me briefly before leaving, walking down the hall and disappearing from sight.
Still, horribly confused, I opened my mouth to ask Arvis about him, but no sound came out. I couldn't formulate the words, or string together my thoughts coherently enough. Arvis didn't notice my shock, and instead lead me to a door with surprisingly intricate carvings. After a moment, I realized that the carvings very subtly traced out common symbols to Naga. I wondered why for a moment, and then Arvis knocked on the door and it became obvious. This must be King Azmur's room.
"Just a moment!" A cheerful voice filtered through the door, and I froze at it. I knew that voice. I definitely knew that voice. I'd know it anywhere. "Yes?" Just as I knew the person who opened the door, the young woman with long silver hair held back with a circlet and sparkling-warm amethyst eyes. I'd always recognize her. "Ah, Arvis!" she laughed, kissing his cheek in greeting. "I thought you were busy?"
"I was and still am, Diadora," Arvis replied, smiling ruefully. At the name, my eyes darted to the necklace she was wearing and the earrings. Both were the wedding gifts I had sent to 'Diadora'. But the person I was looking at was… "However, two special guests arrived and I thought it would be nice for you to finally meet one of them, at least."
"Oh?" She focused on me then, frowning in confusion, and then her eyes went to my hair. "Vala-red… oh! Are you Alicia?!" She took my hands in hers, smiling brightly. The smile was the same. Everything was the same! "It's so nice to finally meet you!" Deirdre, we already knew each other! "This is the best day!" What was going on?!
"She's offered to look into King Azmur's health."
"You're the sweetest, Alicia!" Deirdre… Diadora… tugged me into the room with her. "You keep on doing what you need to do, dear. But don't hurt yourself, please? I'd grieve horrendously if anything happened to you."
"I will be perfectly fine, Diadora." Arvis took her hand and kissed it, laughing at her blush. "You still get embarrassed? We're married."
"Oh, go back to work!" She shoved him playfully down the hall and Arvis laughed. I could only stare in total incomprehension. Why was Deidre here? Why was she…? What was…? "I love you!"
"Love you too." Still laughing, Arvis walked down the hall, eventually disappearing from sight.
"I'm going to get him back for that." Deirdre shut the door and skipped over to the older man lying in bed, moving his pillows up. "Grandfather, a healer is here to check up on you. Please be good for her."
"I'm not sure another healer is going to change things, but I'll go through the check up for you, Diadora," the man replied. So, this was King Azmur. I had never seen him before. He looked… old? That was all I could tell. I was completely stunned by everything, confused beyond belief. "The hair… ah, you must be Arvis's sister. The healer he boasts is the best in all the lands."
"I see Arvis is exaggerating again," I instantly deadpanned. At that point, all of my training kicked in and I shoved everything aside to be 'the healer'. "Well, let's see how you are, and if it's treatable, shall we?" I walked over and absently set the Book of Naga on the nightstand, not finding it even remotely important in the current situation. Diadora… Deirdre… giggled and headed over to the curtains to pin them back better. Outside, the sky was grey, like rain was about to come. "When did the symptoms start?"
"When I lost my son." King Azmur said the words simply, yet the raw pain was enough to make me wince even with my training. Then again, I was also terrified of outliving my children. It was a fear most parents could relate to. "So honestly, I'm not sure it's an illness and just…"
"There is no such thing as a pain without reason. If you are ill, then you are ill. That it might be triggered by something emotional doesn't make it any less of an illness." Using my staff, I checked over him carefully, noting the physical signs, as well the parts where he 'should' be fine, physically, but clearly wasn't. "Still, I think I get your meaning. I think your condition is simply age and stress taking their toll. There are medicines that can reduce the symptoms and extend your life, though. I'll make them up later."
"Oh, good. My greatest hope is that I live to see my great-grandchildren." He smiled warmly and, startling, it reminded me of Deirdre's. Though, then again, that made sense she she was… apparently… "Stress, huh? I can see that easily. Running a kingdom isn't easy…" His voice got softer and softer, like he was just thinking aloud. So, I barely paid attention and worked on easing what symptoms I could. "Still can't believe Byron would kill Kurth, though…" I paused and frowned, wondering why he'd say that. Then again, between how softly he was 'talking' and how disoriented I was, it was entirely possible I misheard.
"So, what's the verdict?" Diadora appeared by the bed again, watching me heal some of King Azmur's aches with sparkling eyes. "Oh, wow, healing is amazing," she breathed, smiling. "I've some skill with staves, but I can't get healing staves to work at all for me. It's weird."
"It's just a little quirk, dear one," King Azmur reassured, reaching out to hug her. She laughed and hugged him back. I remembered how Deirdre had mentioned how lonely she was, growing up. "But with that said, you shouldn't be stuck inside with an old man. Go outside! It's cloudy, yes, but the fresh air will be good for you."
"Well, all right. If you say so." She kissed his cheek, waited for me to be done, and then promptly tugged me out of the room with her. "Love you, Grandfather! I'll be back by for dinner!"
Knocked out of the healer mindset, I went right back to confusion and let Deirdre pull me this way and that, following like a ragdoll, albeit a ragdoll that kept an iron grip on her healing staff. All of this was familiar. It was definitely her. But why was she here? What happened to her memories? She was the Naga Major? How had I not noticed? The silver in Seliph's Mark… the timing of Deirdre's disappearance and 'Diadora' appearing in Velthomer… Thousands upon thousands of tiny hints and clues filtered through my head, easy to ignore and forget at the time, but now… but now, I… Then there was the simple matter how how I never asked what she had looked like. If I had, I would've known. If I had asked what others considered 'basic knowledge', this could've… but no, I hadn't considered it and Arvis and I made it a game, a game that...
"And here are my favorite gardens!" Deirdre suddenly declared. Though based on her wording, it hadn't been 'sudden'. She must've been rattling off locations as we went. I had just been too lost in my thoughts to hear her. "There's always flowers growing here, no matter the season!"
"I can see that," I whispered, looking around as if the scenery would ground me. But it didn't. All I could process was 'bunches of colorful and pretty flowers, despite the cold'. "It's pretty."
"Isn't it?" Deirdre giggled, skipping ahead. I followed slowly, like a puppy, because I had no idea what else to do. "Ah, I'm so glad you're here! I finally get to meet you!" She clapped her hands in delight, meaning every word. But they hurt my heart, because it was Deirdre. She was my best friend. Yet she didn't know me anymore. She didn't… "You know; I sometimes wonder if I came from a place with pretty flowers and trees. There's something so nostalgic about them."
"Maybe you lived near a forest." There was no 'maybe' about it. I knew she had. But what was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? She was clearly happy. What could I…?
"Oh, maybe!" She laughed, still skipping ahead. I stumbled over nothing, barely keeping myself from falling on my face. "Oh no, was there a loose stone? I'll get someone to check into that."
"No, no, it's fine." I continued to struggle with what to say and how to react, but as I did, I noticed a very strange sound on the wind. It almost sounded like screams and… and fighting. But that wasn't… why would there be…? "What is that?"
"Hmm? Oh, that's Arvis dealing with the rebels who killed my father likely." Deirdre clasped her hands in front of her and smiled sadly. "I'm sad that they must fight, but sometimes, you just have to kill the evil sorcerer to save the princess, you know?"
"Rebels?" Cold dread dripped down my spine. We were too far away to deal with Reptor right? "What rebels?"
"Well, the ones led by someone named Sigurd." She hummed a bit in thought. I felt like I'd been stabbed. "You know; there's something strangely familiar about his name and… wait, Alicia?!" It wasn't until I heard her yelp that I recognized I was running. I was so out of it, so disoriented, that I hadn't even noticed. "Alicia, not that way! That leads…!"
I didn't stop. I just kept on racing through the halls, as fast as I could. As I ran, I saw meteor spells raining down from the sky. I smelled acrid smoke and saw it spiraling up into the uncaring sky. I smelled blood and burnt flesh. I heard the sounds of fighting, from metal clanging on metal to screams of fury and pain. I knew some of those screams. I recognized them, and that made me run all the faster. I dodged well-meaning soldiers and servants left and right, pushing my way outside. Whenever a way was completely blocked, I turned a different way and kept on going. After what felt like an eternity, I finally found a way outside through a side door and stumbled through, heading for the sounds of chaos, trying to desperately to find my friends, wondering just what was going on. None of this made sense to me. None of this processed. But I could figure that out later. I could figure out everything later. For now, I just had to find…!
I swung around a corner and was 'treated' to two sights. One was the battle itself, where our army was fighting for their lives after getting hit with the perfect ambush of royal guards and Velthomer mages. The second was Chulainn, all alone, being hit with two Meteors at once.
"Chulainn!" I screamed, running towards him. I barely caught him as he fell, both of us crashing to the ground, and winced at all the burns he had. Gods, one of his eyes was seared shut! "Chulainn, hang on!" Thankfully through all of this, I still held onto my staff. So, I began healing him except… except the healing magic… it wouldn't take… "Why? Why isn't it working...?"
"Alicia…?" Chulainn rasped. He opened his remaining eye slightly. It was unfocused, cloudy. I wondered if he'd taken a head injury before this. "Alicia, is that…?"
"Yes, I'm right here." I leaned down to kiss him, wincing at the soot and how chapped his lips were. But even with that, it was still warm, and still sweet, like all of his kisses. "Hang on, dear. I'll heal you right up."
"You need to… get out of here…"
"I will, after I heal you." However, no matter how much power I put into my staff, it wouldn't take. It wouldn't… why couldn't I…? "Then we'll go together."
"You know… this is a better end… than I thought I would have…" He leaned more against me and closed his eye. I kept trying to get my stupid staff to work. "A better life really… than I thought…"
"Stop talking like that." I held onto him a little more tightly and brought up my staff to see if it was broken. But no, it was whole. The gem on top sparkled in the light of the various fire spells trying to kill my friends, as if to mock me. "I…"
"Got to reunite with my best friend… got to make new friends and a new family…" Chulainn smiled warmly, even with the burns to his face. "Fell in love with a wonderful woman… fathered two adorable children…"
"Yes, and we have to go get them, remember?" My voice cracked and I held onto him even more tightly, desperately trying to will the staff to work, for the healing magic to take. "Why isn't it working?! I've healed burns before! I've healed so many before!" So why? Why?!
"Ah, but who is… going to… take care of you? You overwork so much…" He raised his hand and slowly hunted for mine, running his fingers over the ring he bought me. I only wore one glove. I never put it back on after showing Arvis the ring. "You're so stubborn…"
"Right? That's why you…!" I coughed, trying to clear my throat. The air was thick with the smell of smoke and burnt flesh, with the smell of blood and the smell of death. "Just be quiet while I heal you! I will heal you!"
"See? Stubborn." He smiled sweetly, though. "I love you, Alicia. I love you more than anything and anyone. I am so glad I met you."
"I love you too…" My voice cracked again and the tears began falling. "I love you too! So please, don't leave me!" His hand fell from mine. "Don't leave me, Chulainn! Please!" There was no answer. "Chulainn…?" He was still smiling, but he didn't answer me. "Please…?" He didn't move. He wasn't breathing. "Please don't… don't leave me…" But, of course, there was no use pleading. Corpses didn't exactly have a choice when death came.
Still, even knowing that, I continued trying to shake him awake. I continued trying to heal him. I knew it wouldn't work. I knew it wouldn't take. But I couldn't… he couldn't be gone. That wasn't… that wasn't fair. He had appeared in my life out of nowhere, a twist of fate where he happened to be in the arena and fought Ayra. He had taken care of me, supported me, teased me, loved me. But he wasn't supposed to leave as abruptly as he entered my life. He was supposed to stay. He had promised to stay. He was… this wasn't… this couldn't…!
"Alicia!" Lachesis appeared at my side, hair patchy from burns and matted from blood. In one hand, she wielded her Earth Sword. In the other, she held a staff. I wondered where her other weapons were. They were probably lost to the chaos. "Hey, we have to move!" she insisted, shaking my shoulder. She glanced down at who I was holding and saw me 'healing' him still. "Oh, right, of course. Sorry, I hyperfocused there." She knelt down and took Chulainn's arm. "Here, I've Hezul's strength, so I can easily carry…" She trailed off as she realized what had happened. Her fingers were right on his wrist, after all. "Oh… oh no…" She dropped Chulainn's arm and stared at him in horror before looking at me, noticing my tears at least. "Oh, Alicia…" Slowly, carefully, she got me to let go of Chulainn and she moved him safely off to the side. "We'll… we'll come back for him." Then she pulled me up, steadying me when my legs refused to work. "I've got you, Alicia. Stay with me. Just like you helped me, I'll help you."
She took my free hand and dragged me behind her as she ran, killing any enemy that tried to block our path with ease. It was a good thing she could, and that the Earth Sword healed her as she killed enemies, as I was as useful as a doll or a heavy piece of baggage. I couldn't think. I couldn't react. Meteor spells hit the nearby buildings and blasted them apart, sending rubble flying all of the place, killing more people. There was blood everywhere. There was death everywhere. I knew, distantly, that I should try to heal someone. I should try. But would it work? What was the point? I failed to heal… I couldn't...
"Arvis, you bastard!" Sigurd's uncharacteristic anger broke through the cobwebs in my head, and reminded me of how I had promised Eldigan that I'd watch out for him. So, focusing on that, I turned towards the sound, ready to shout and tell him to just run. I saw him at the base of the stairs heading to the castle and, somewhere in the split-second I had, I noticed he didn't have Tyrfing in hand and I wondered why. Had he disarmed because this was all supposed to be peaceful? I wanted to ask. I wanted to tell him I'd seen Deirdre. I wanted to apologize for… for all of this. I wanted a hug.
But the very next second, flames that roared with power drowned him and those nearby, the heat alone enough to crack the ground. When the fires cleared, there was only ash. Sigurd was gone. Sigurd was dead. There wasn't even a body to bury.
"N-no…" Lachesis whimpered, swaying slightly. Her grey face and wide eyes showed she had watched too. That split-second… "No, why…?" It wasn't right. It wasn't right. Sigurd had always been bright and cheerful, passionate and driven. "Why is this…?" Sigurd had always been the knight in shining armor, larger than life. "What did we do to deserve this?" It seemed impossible that he'd be gone, especially so quickly. To have no chance for final words, for final hugs, for final smiles… "Why do the gods hate us this much?" It shouldn't be possible. This shouldn't be happening. This shouldn't have happened. It was like finding Ethlyn and Quan all over again, except… except… "Why…?!"
There was no answer, and both of us just stood there dumbly, staring at the ash as the wind slowly scattered it. Then someone bumped into us and we were both moving again. It wasn't like we wanted to move or anything. We had both just automatically stumbled to not fall on our faces, and that had been enough to make our bodies move. Our minds couldn't process everything that was going on, but our bodies had decided between 'fight, flight, and freeze' and had picked 'flight'. So we ran. We ran and ran until we found people we knew: Jamke, Brigid, and a dead Midir.
"Damn it, Midir, wake up!" Brigid snapped, shaking him. Blood trickled down her face, and her long hair had been cut at some point. The even ends hinted that it had been deliberate, for whatever reason. "Come on!" Midir's head lolled about on his neck. Distantly, I thought about how this all technically began with me healing Midir. The gaping hole in his gut, though, showed that trying would be pointless. My, how useful I was. I was a healer, and yet, all I could was watch as everyone died. "What… what am I supposed to tell Aideen?!"
"I think we need to prioritize surviving to tell," Jamke retorted, pulling her from Midir. He looked up then and saw Lachesis and me, just staring at them, and dead Midir. "Oh, yay, living people. Hi."
"Hi," Lachesis replied automatically. I attempted to wave awkwardly, but Lachesis held one hand and I still kept my iron grip on my staff with the other. "Midir…"
"Later. We need to get out of here." He helped Brigid stand and the two limped over to us. Automatically, I tended to their injuries, focusing on their legs and arms, so that they could run and they could fight. I could do that much, at least. Amazing. "Thanks."
"I'm glad to help," I mumbled. I smiled brokenly at Jamke, remembering a conversation we'd had once. "Ha… I guess I shouldn't have…"
"Nope," Jamke cut me off, likely remembering it too. "Not a word. Not your fault." Jamke hugged me and kissed my head. "It's his, for abusing that trust. Not yours."
"But…"
"I mean it."
"...Sure…" If only it was so easy to believe as it was to speak. But I could only think of a thousand and one things I should have noticed, but didn't. "I…"
"Sigurd is dead, so we really need to run," Lachesis whispered, keeping everyone focused. Jamke and Brigid both winced. Jamke was good friends with Sigurd, had been since the Verdane campaign, and no doubt Brigid was wondering how she'd explain that to Aideen too. Gods, that was going to be an awkward conversation. 'Hey, your childhood friends and your husband died!' "Do we know where the others are?"
"Not a damn clue," Brigid growled. She pushed her hair out of her face, and then spun, drawing Yewfelle and firing in a smooth motion. A royal guard fell easily, as did the one behind them. Yewfelle's arrow of light had pierced through both of them. "We were trying to find Dew. We got separated."
"Oh no…" Lachesis teared up. "I told him to stay back."
"So did we. But hey, he's always been quick. Maybe he got lucky. Someone has to get lucky in this scenario, at least." She pointed down a path. "Let's head that way for now. It's as good of a path as any, right?"
Silently, we all agreed, and we moved quickly. I stumbled a few times, not being athletic at all, but Jamke caught and helped me. Lachesis and Brigid handled any fighting we had to do, pushing through in random directions to try and find some path out of the chaos. There was no 'winning' this battle. Surviving was hard enough.
"Hey!" Sylvia's surprisingly cheerful greeting caught all four of us off-guard, and we turned to see her and Claude safely tucked behind a broken building, with Claude healing her leg. To my relief, Lene was also alive and surprisingly untouched. The worst seemed to be the soot and, despite everything, she was asleep in the sling Sylvia kept around her always. "A child's trust is humbling to be certain," she murmured, smiling at us. She'd noticed where most of our attention went. "Hey, Alicia, Claude's injured. Can you…?"
"Of course," I whispered, already moving. He silently asked me to wait until he was done with Sylvia before letting himself be treated. "How is Lene?"
"She's fine. Sleeping because she somehow believes we'll be okay." She shrugged and turned towards Lachesis, Brigid, and Jamke. "Hey, have you guys seen Erinys or Lewyn? Claude and I had stepped away because Lene was bothered by all the noise…"
"Well, this is a fine mess we're in," Claude murmured, wincing as I patched him up as best as I could. There was no point at listening to the conversation the other four were having. The answer was likely 'no, we have no idea where they are'. "I always knew Arvis was clever and ambitious, but…"
"Did you know this was going to happen?" I asked quietly. When I finished healing him, I tugged his sleeve, looking down at the ground. If I looked at him, I might just snap. "Was this why you were always sad? Was this…?"
"What I saw in my vision was nowhere near as extensive or devastating as what we're dealing with." So, yes, he had. I now wondered if he was lying, because saying that he had seen all of this would definitely have led to me screaming. We didn't have the time for that. "And while I did see Sigurd dying, there was a body left behind." He held up the Valkyrie Staff, practically gleaming despite the soot, blood, and mud. I was sure it was mocking us. "I thought the gods wanted me to use Valkyrie on him, a conviction that strengthened with each one I failed…"
"Can you still…?"
"No, you need a body. It won't work without…" He closed his eyes and gripped Valkyrie tightly, enough for it to shake. "Why did the gods give us this? Did I miss the opportunity to use it? I have no idea. At this point, I am as lost as anyone else."
"I see." I fell silent, not sure how to respond or how to react. The screams were slowly growing quieter, hinting that the 'battle' was ending, though meteors still rained down, likely to eradicate any resistance at all. "We should-"
Claude suddenly shoved me back, hard enough to make me crash to the ground. I scrambled to my feet, a flash of fury flooding me as I wonder why he'd do such a thing. Then the building we'd been near collapsed, the rubble separating me from them. I coughed at the dust and ash it kicked up and then stared blankly when I noticed just where it had fell. That would've killed me. That definitely, definitely would've...
"Alicia!" Lachesis desperately shouted. I barely heard her, even when I pressed against the rubble to get as 'close' as I could. "Alicia!"
"I'm fine!" I shouted back. The pile of rubble creaked ominously, hinting that it wouldn't stay 'stable' for long. "Are you?"
"Yes, we're all fine! The worst is that Lene woke up crying!" That was so easy to imagine. It had been very loud. "We should… argh, it's covering the whole damn path!" It was and, worse, it continued to creak. It was going to collapse again. "I don't think I can climb… damn it!"
"I'm… I'm going to try and find some of the others and escape!" This was… this was all I could do for her. Gods, this... Why…? "You need to get out of here!"
"But-!"
"You need to get to Leonster, to Finn! They need to know what happened here!" A small piece of stone fell onto my shoulder. There was no more time. "Quickly! More is about to fall!"
"But…!"
"She's right! We must run south!" Claude declared firmly. I had to strain to hear him. "Now! Before we're all crushed!"
"Alicia, I love you!" Lachesis shouted desperately. I heard her struggle to stay by the rubble, to say just a few more things. "I'm glad I met you! Thank you for everything! I'll.. I'll see you…!"
"I love you too!" I shouted back. My free hand dug into the stone, like I could claw my way through, but that was impossible. I doubted even Hezul himself could move this. "I'm so glad I met you! Sylvia, Claude, Jamke, Brigid, thank you for everything! I will see you again, so stay safe!"
Another stone fell near me. I jumped back, stumbled, and ran a few steps away. On the fourth step, the rubble collapsed again, along with more of the nearby buildings, very firmly blocking the path. If I had stayed near, I would've been crushed. I hoped the others had managed to escape. I hoped… well, I hoped for a lot of things and honestly, I wanted to collapse and scream. But instead, I made myself run. I tripped quite a few times, unable to keep coordinated. The smoke was getting overwhelming and the buildings were creaking. A few collapsed right next to me, with me barely dodging. Some part of me thought the gods were giving me repeated little 'miracles'. Most of me thought the gods weren't anywhere near, much less helping us.
"Ack!" I yelped as I crashed right into someone hard enough to actually bloody my lip. The person steadied me and I jerked my head up to see it was Lex. He was sooty, muddy, but surprisingly not hurt at all. "Lex…?"
"Hey there," he replied, smiling slightly. "Oh, thank everything. Azel was wondering…" He hugged me, and then just outright picked me up and carried me down the path. I didn't mind. I was back to being shocked, stunned, and disoriented. "Hey, found Alicia!"
"Well, maybe the gods are giving us some sort of blessing!" Ayra appeared and helped me down. "You don't look… too worse for wear," she murmured. "Now, we have to find Chulainn…"
"Chulainn's…" I began. My eyes filled with tears, though, and I couldn't say the word. "He's…"
"...Oh…" She hugged me tightly. "Oh, they'll pay for that. They'll pay for all of this."
"Lachesis, Brigid, Jamke, Claude, Sylvia, and Lene all escaped south, I think. Midir is…" Again, I couldn't say the word. "Sigurd is…"
"They're paying for all of this." She kissed my head and gently rocked me. I just leaned into her. "Gods, they should be glad I wasn't near the front."
"Yeah…" I pulled away to look at her. Like Lex, she was uninjured. "There's no blood. I'm glad, but why?"
"Damned lucky," Lex growled. He gestured for Ayra and me to follow him. "Ethnia found Tailtiu in the crowd and insisted on us following her away from the group. Thought it weird, but she must've known what was planned. Thanks to it, we avoided the initial hit, though we got separated from Ethnia. Lewyn wasn't so lucky, though. Damned that cloaked bastard."
"What do you mean?" I asked. However, as we walked down the path, the sound of sobbing slowly grew louder. "Oh no. Oh no, no, no…"
We turned the corner and ended up in what must've been a small market square if this had been a normal day. Now, there were corpses strewn about, small fires smoldering, shattered buildings, and blood turning the ground muddy. In the center of it, I saw Lewyn laying on the ground with gaping wounds bleeding sluggishly, and Tailtiu feverishly attempting to heal him. Nearby, Erinys was bawling into Azel's shoulder and he tried to comfort her. Over her head, he and I shared a look of total incomprehension. The smoke, the screams, the blood… it all clearly stated what happened what happened, but we couldn't… we couldn't…
"Alicia!" Tailtiu called. She looked up, silently crying. "Can you…?" Automatically, stiffly, I knelt down by Lewyn to see if I could do anything. Lex and Ayra both drew weapons, ready to protect us if need be. "Thank you!" She hopped to her feet and helped Azel reassure Erinys, but I thought the gratitude was… well, it was just like with Chulainn. I could see that easily, and though I tried anyway, I saw how the healing magic shied away from him. He might be breathing, barely, but he was too far gone. I couldn't… once again, I was just helpless while…
Then, all of a sudden, the wounds began healing. I frowned, noticing that the healing magic hadn't done that. They just healed on their own, at a pace that defied all logic and reason. They healed and Lewyn took a deep breath and started coughing, groaning and rolling onto his side. The others cheered, thinking that it was just a difference in power or skill that had saved Lewyn, but I knew what I'd seen. I'd had nothing to do with this. This was…
"Lewyn, what just happened?" I whispered, helping him sit up. Nearby, I saw Erinys call for her pegasus, the only mount I had seen in this chaos. I wondered where the others were. They probably died, or scattered in fear. "What did you do?"
"I made…" he began, leaning heavily against me. He coughed, struggling to breath. Now healing magic worked, but I could only ease some of it. "I made a bargain."
"You did?" That didn't make any sense at all! "Who?"
"Forseti." He smiled painfully. "So that he can help."
"...Make sure you tell Erinys." It still made no sense to me, but I supposed it didn't have to. "Okay?"
"I will. Thank you."
"I didn't do anything."
"It's for everything, Alicia. It's for everything you've helped me with, throughout the years." He leaned even more heavily against me, his eyes closed. "I should've seen you and Azel off. I should've warned you about how the wind was nervous about something. I stupidly thought it was just Reptor, since he had a Holy Weapon. I should've listened better."
"All of us probably should've made different decisions." Though, at the same time, I wasn't sure what those decisions should've been. "Come on. Let's get you up."
"Okay…"
"You should just head ahead with him," Ayra was saying to Erinys as I helped Lewyn limp over. Tailtiu held the pegasus still while Lex helped Lewyn actually get into the saddle. "If you fly high enough, you should escape detection with ease and warn Queen Rahna about what happened."
"But I can't just leave you all!" Erinys insisted. She was still crying, overwhelmed by everything. "You all… ah!"
We all looked up to see three meteors flying our way. Azel 'seized' one with his magic and dissipated it. Tailtiu blasted the second one apart with a Thoron spell. Lewyn gestured sharply, appearing to use wind magic to redirect the last one, but in the split-second before the meteor changed directory, I swore I saw I saw a tiny little ball of light that flashed briefly into Annand's form. But that was more than likely me hallucinating. Then again, Forseti...
"See? There's no time to argue," Arya pointed out. She and Tailtiu helped get Erinys mounted and secure. Lewyn leaned heavily against her back, truly unable to do anything else. "Get going. Get back to your son. We'll be by before long. We just have to take a different way."
"Okay…" Erinys reluctantly agreed, sobbing. "But you have to promise…"
"Of course."
"Okay…" Erinys reached out and Ayra gave her a hug. Then Lex did. Tailtiu. Azel. When it came time for my hug, she whispered, "thank you so much. For everything."
"Fly safely," I whispered back. I stepped away and she took off. Lewyn moved just enough to wave us goodbye before leaning fully on Erinys, still struggling to breath.
As soon as she was out of sight, past the smoke, all of us were running again. I quickly fell behind though, because I was just so tired. I had never run this much in my life and I had never been athletic. I cursed myself for how I was slowing the group down, making them frequently stop for me to catch up, and wondered if I should just stop and have them go ahead and leave me behind.
Then, as if my thoughts had summoned it, another one of the nearby buildings collapsed, separating me from the others. Maybe I shouldn't ever think again. Ever.
"I'm okay!" I shouted automatically, pressing against the rubble in the hopes it would help them hear me better. I heard some sort of movement beyond the stones. "Just run! I'll find another way!"
"Lady Sister!" Azel shouted back. Something hit the stone and the top ones shifted. One actually fell right next to me. "Lex, don't hit it again! It'll fall on us!"
"I love you very much, Azel!" I made myself smile, even though I knew he wouldn't see it. "I am so glad I finally got to meet you!"
"I love you too! I'll see you again! We'll head to Silesse, so meet us there!" There was the sound of squeaking, or so I thought. "Tailtiu loves you too!"
"I love her too!" I yelped as more stones fell, again right next to me. "Get going!"
"Alicia!" That was Ayra. Azel and Tailtiu must've already left. "Alicia, Lex and I will eventually make our way to Isaach, so if you can't make it to Silesse, head there!" she instructed. She sounded surprisingly calm and perfectly sincere. She believed the words with everything she had. "We'll find you!"
"That sounds good!" I replied, making myself laugh. I rested my hand on the stone and my ring caught the light. It reminded me of the conversation we'd had in the desert. "Everything is all the more precious when you might part, right?"
"And I don't regret a single second. But I'll find you in Isaach or Silesse. I promise."
"I love you and Lex very much."
"We love you too."
That was it. I thought I heard the sounds of running, hinting that they were making their escape. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that they, at least, would be safe. I hoped. But I had to do more than hope. I had to escape. I had to get away. I had to…
Something wet fell on my hand, but when I looked, there was nothing there. That confused me for a long moment, but then a tiny white snowflake landed on my hand and I thought to look up to the overcast sky. It was snowing. It was the first snow of the year, for me at least. We had left Silesse before the first snow hit there. Langbalt and Andrei had attacked when they did to avoid getting caught, and we had also left to avoid getting caught.
But during the first snow last year, Chulainn and I had walked through the gardens with Caitriona and Conall. Since it had been before even the Sillesean Civil War, everything had been peaceful. Chulainn had first predicted Caitriona and Conall's eye colors during that walk, correctly at that. We had talked about living in Silesse once things calmed down. I was going to be a simple village healer again, living quietly. Chulainn was going to be a 'house husband', who would take care of the house and children while I worked. We were going to have two dogs that would likely drive me crazy, but would make him and the children laugh and laugh. We were going to visit the others. We were going to… we were supposed to…
My legs buckled and my knees hit the ground hard enough to bruise. I leaned to the side and crashed into the fallen rubble, ignoring the tiny stones that fell near and on me. My staff tumbled from my hands to roll across the bloody, muddy ground. My arms hung awkwardly next to me, one lying across my stomach for no other reason besides momentum. I knew I should get up. I knew I should move. I knew I still had things to do. I had to escape. I had to find my children. I had to keep my promise to Shanan. I had to reunite with my friends. There were so many things I had to do, but I couldn't move. No matter how many times I tried to will myself to stand up, to keep going, I couldn't. Nothing would respond. All I could do was stare blankly as the snow slowly fell and covered the blood and soot, as if it could hide everything that happened, as if its prettiness could mask all the death.
I might have stayed that way until the snow and cold took me, but crunching footsteps caught my attention enough for my eyes to dart to the side. Once I saw the cloaked man, 'Manfroy', the one who had kidnapped Deirdre, the one who apparently 'killed' Lewyn… I managed to move my head up and over to look at him properly. It hurt, though, and it took all my strength. But I did it. I felt oddly proud of myself for that.
"Poor sweet child of Vala," Manfroy whispered, voice mocking in its 'comfort'. He continued to walk towards me. "All alone among the snow? You look like you're in pain. I'll make it go away for you."
"Will you kill me?" I asked softly. The words came so easily, almost too easily. "Is that what you mean, or do you mean whatever you did to Deirdre?"
"While tempting to do the former, since you're as unpredictable as the rest of your army, the latter seems much more… useful." He continued to come closer, slowly. "But it'll be fine. You'll forget the pain and find a new path."
"So that's what you did. You took her memories, dropped her off in Velthomer, and then… what?" I wasn't sure how much I cared. I was just… talking. I was talking, because I couldn't move. Maybe I could move if I stopped talking, but… "Why?"
"I don't see a reason in answering that." Manfroy shrugged and reached out towards me. "You'll just forget the answer, as soon as I'm done helping you forget."
"So that I am useful? You intend to use me against Arvis?" That sentence finally sparked something in me, and I drew on the power of my Holy Blood. The snow around me melted into mud and he paused, eyes wide with fright. "I hate to break it to you, but even in this state, I'd still rather die than be used." Fire began crawling across the ground, melting more of the snow. Manfroy stumbled back, shaking at the heat. I remember how he'd flinched at fire, the last time I'd seen him. I'd hesitated then. This time, though… "I should've burned you then. But I can try and fix that-"
"Alicia!" All resolve shattered at Arvis's shout. "Alicia, there you are!" All energy faded when he pushed past Manfroy, nearly knocking him to the ground, and crashed down next to me. "Good, you're not injured," he whispered, looking me over and cupping my face. He smiled gently at me, warmly, and I wondered how he could do that. I wondered how he could wear Sigurd's wedding gift and kill him. I wondered how he could do all of this and still… "Come on. It's snowing. We should get you inside and-"
"Why?" My voice was terribly small and terribly fragile. "Why?" I repeated, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't say anything else. I couldn't do anything else. All I could do was cry and ask… "Why?"
A tear hits her hand and she jerks back to avoid staining her writing. It's a good thing as the very next second, she's coughing up a lung, which might have messed up her writing even more. That would be bad. She had been working on this for quite some time. She doesn't want it ruined at the very end.
Once the fit subsides, she looks at everything she has written and decides that it's as good of an ending as anything. She honestly isn't sure why she wrote everything down. She just… she just wants it to be known. The truth has been lost, untold, and she remembers Lewyn telling her, once, how interesting it would be to read of a war from a healer's perspective. She hopes it's good enough. She has no idea how to explain how they had just been a group of people, a group of fools really, who had continually done what they thought was right, who had continually fought for their ideals, and who had been rewarded with all their dreams and hopes scattered on the battlefield, lost and unfulfilled. Honestly, writing it all down just makes her wonder if there had been any meaning to their efforts. Still, the longer she looks, the more it just looks… incomplete. So, after a moment, she begins listing the names of the people she had known personally, their ages during final year, and what she has learned about their fates over the years.
Sigurd, 26, deceased at Belhalla (He was incinerated by Valflame, after meeting 'Diadora' when she came outside to try and find me. What a wonderful thing to see, right before the end...)
Naoise, 24, deceased (He was killed by the royal guard buying time for others to escape. It had taken half a day to recognize him. He, apparently, just kept charging at the enemy.)
Alec, 24, deceased (He was killed by the royal guard buying time for others to escape. He was easier to recognize, thankfully.)
Arden, 29, deceased (He was crushed by rubble, holding it up to buy people time to escape before collapsing. His body had been so mangled by it that I'd recognized him more by his armor than his face.)
Quan, 26, deceased (He was killed by Travant during the Yied Massacre.)
Ethlyn, 20, deceased (She was killed during the Yied Massacre.)
Finn, 20, missing (He disappeared after the fall of Leonster in 762. Most think he's alive, as there's been no sign of Leif either.)
Azel, 22, missing (He was last seen disappearing into the mountains of Silesse. I heard something about Friege soldiers finding him, but if so, they're keeping silent.)
Lex, 22, deceased (He was conveniently killed by 'bandits' in Isaach a few months ago, as reported by Danann, his elder brother who never got along with him.)
Midir, 25, deceased (He was killed by the royal guard, protecting Brigid and Jamke. The only survivor of the group that attacked them reported that, at last. The rest of the group had been slaughtered by Brigid and Jamke in retaliation.)
Aideen, 24, missing (She's somewhere in Isaach, hopefully still with Oifeye, Shanan, and the children. I hope her pregnancy, and birthing, went well.)
Dew, 17, missing (He disappeared in the chaos of the initial ambush. There's been no sign of him at all, so he's assumed to be one of the many bodies that couldn't be recovered or identified.)
Ayra, 21, deceased (She was conveniently killed by 'bandits' in Isaach a few months ago, just like Lex. You'd think Danann would be smart enough to come up with a different lie.)
Jamke, 25, missing (Though the body found south near the Thracian border might be his. I haven't seen it, but a couple of the items described do remind me of things he carried.)
Chulainn, 24, deceased (He was killed by meteor spells. He'd been separated from the group because he'd been helping people escape. Of course he had...)
Lachesis, 19, missing (She disappeared after the fall of Leonster in 762. No one knows anything about her, though I hope she's with Finn.)
Lewyn, 23, missing (He's somewhere in Silesse, though perhaps that bargain he made with Forseti means he's elsewhere. I don't know.)
Sylvia, 20, missing (She was last seen somewhere in Darna. Inquiries lead to no extra information, not even on Lene.)
Erinys, 21, missing (She's somewhere in Silesse, possibly in the north near Thove. With Queen Rahna dead, she and Lewyn rule.)
Beowolf, 28, deceased (He was killed by meteor spells. I don't know the circumstances, but based on the bodies around his corpse, he'd gone out fighting.)
Tailtiu, 21, missing (Though rumors imply she might be in Alster with her family, but if so, they're hiding her from me.)
Claude, 27, missing (He, like Sylvia, was last seen somewhere in Darna. No one knows where he is, or the Valkyrie Staff for that matter.)
Brigid, 24, missing (If that was Jamke's body, then she's probably somewhere in Thracia. I wonder if she and Jamke ever married and had children.)
She finishes the list and smiles ruefully. These were all the people she knew the names of, just twenty-three people in the entire army. There were countless others in the army who had died that day, but she doesn't know them. She wonders if their families still grieve. She wonders if their families buy the propaganda lies. She knows Chalphy doesn't. They remain defiant, even now, chasing out every single lord that tries to rule and every single knight that tries to enforce the laws. Chalphy is part of the Grannvale Empire in name and name alone, and nothing but war is going to change that. It makes her smile.
Someone knocks on the door, but she doesn't respond. Instead, she grabs a new piece of paper and starts writing down tiny details that hadn't been important, but that she still remembered, like what Beowolf's favorite drink was or the exact mixtures for the specialized teas she had made people. She doesn't stop writing and remembering until she smells incense and a hand rests on her shoulder. She knows without looking up that it's Arvis. Every morning, Arvis heads to the crypt to burn incense for Chulainn, and the smell clings to him for a few hours afterwards. Arvis had insisted Chulainn be buried there, with the full honors as her 'husband'. A few had brought up she and Chulainn hadn't been officially married; they regretted it quickly. In Arvis's eyes, Chulainn was family, and her husband, and that was the end of the matter.
"What are you writing?" Arvis asks, peering at the paper curiously. She flips over the page, not wanting him to read it, yet. "Ah, a secret something?"
"Yes," she replies. She puts the last page in the pile with the others, marveling at how large it is. It makes sense, considering how much time is covered, but she's honestly surprised by how much she remembers. "I want it in a safe place."
"There's that vault in Velthomer that can only open to family. I'll put it there for you." He offers her a hand up and helps her walk out of her room when she takes it. "You're meeting Diadora in the gardens, right? I'll walk you there."
"Very well." She follows him slowly, and lets him continue to hold her hand. "You didn't have to escort me, though."
"It's a good excuse to spend time with you." He glances at her and smiles hesitantly. "I love you dearly, little sister."
"I love you too, Lord Brother." Things would be so much easier for her if she could hate him, she thinks. But then again, she's also well aware that if his 'sacrifices' hadn't been her friends, her family, she wouldn't have been nearly as affected. She likes to think she still wouldn't have liked it, but she knows she wouldn't have thought much about it before long, just as she didn't think much of the nameless soldiers she had healed and seen die. "You rule well."
"I try." That is their unspoken agreement. So long as he rules this new empire well, she 'forgives' him. Though, it's less 'forgiving' and more like what she did with Jamke, simply moving past the incident. It's less 'forgiving' and more like how she recognizes that just because she doesn't like something, that doesn't make it inherently wrong. Leaders sacrificed for the greater good all the time. Just because it hurt her, it didn't mean it didn't change things for the better for the 'many'. "I try."
They walk in silence until they reach the gardens, and he helps her to a bench to sit and kisses her cheek before heading to his morning meetings. It's how he and Diadora split their duties, most of the time. He handles the morning things, often the more political, while Diadora handles the afternoon things, often more focused on administrative. At least, she thinks. She honestly had never bothered to try and figure it out. She doesn't care. There's few things she cares about, nowadays.
"Ah, Alicia, you beat me here!" Diadora rushes over, smiling brightly like always. She smiles back, doing her best to make it as warm as possible. After all, Diadora is one of those 'few things'. "Thanks for walking with me!" she laughs, taking her hand and pulling her up. "It's always so much fun!"
"I enjoy it too," she murmurs. It's not a lie. She's renewed, reestablished?, her friendship with Diadora, just accepting the loss of memories for what it is. She's never told either her or Arvis the truth about how Diadora was Deirdre, even telling Arvis that they learned Deirdre died to hide it. She doesn't see the point. All it would do is cause them both pain. She tells herself that it's little different than a widow remarrying. It's just that Deirdre's first husband hadn't died before her remarriage. Some days, she wonders if it's the right decision. Most days, she can't bring herself to care. "Are you sure you're bundled up enough? It's cold."
"I am perfectly fine!" Diadora makes her voice haughty and it gets a bit of laughter from her. "Let's go… this way first!"
So they make their slow way through the gardens, gossiping about this and that. It's something they do as often as they can, because it gets her up and about. Without the walks, she might very well just spend all of her time in her bed, staring at nothing. But once she's up, she can keep on moving, which is often a good thing, particularly when there are rambunctious children about getting hurt and not quite learning that limits aren't always broken by pushing past them stubbornly.
"I'm sorry!" Ishtar blurts as they walk down the path. Ishtar had found her as soon as Diadora left for some empress-y duty and tugged her off, stopping only to let her get a staff. "I swear we were paying attention, but…!"
"We both know Julius is very stubborn," she reassures, ruffling Ishtar's hair. She's always had a soft spot for Ishtar; Ishtar is the same age as her twins. Sometimes, when she's particularly wistful, she thinks of what good friends Ishtar might have been with Caitriona and Conall. "But you do need to remember that four year olds can have difficulties gauging things."
"Right…" Ishtar droops, but perks up as soon as they reached the small courtyard where she had been playing with Cyas, Julius, and Julia. "Found her!"
"Oh, good!" Cyas breaths, smiling in relief. She can see how he had been using her lessons to stabilize Julius, but she knows he'd been worried it wouldn't be enough. He'd also likely been worried that Manfroy would be by first. "He just collapsed and…"
"Ishtar told me," she murmurs, cutting him off gently. She crouches down next to little Julius, absently comforting Julia as she hovers nearby worried, and within moments, she has it all cleared up. "Bed rest for you for the rest of the day."
"Aw…" Julius whines, sulking even as he recovers from the difficulty in breathing. He cheers up when she leans down and kisses his forehead. As always, her lips buzz a bit, due to the dark red Holy Mark right there in the middle his forehead. She kisses there on purpose, aware that Julius is self-conscious about it. She imagines that when he is a little older, he'll wear a circlet much like Diadora does to hide hers. "Okay." He reaches up to silently ask her to carry him and she scoops him up with some difficulty. He is getting heavier, and she is getting weaker. "Sorry, Julia."
"Nap with you later," Julia replies, smiling. Just as Julius takes after Arvis in looks, Julia takes after Diadora, down to having the Major Naga blood despite being the younger twin. She knows it'll cause some succession issues later, but for now, this is enough. The two adore each other and are rarely apart for long. "Love you."
"Love you too." Julius waves and leans into her shoulder and she carries him out of the courtyard. She knows that, in a moment, Ishtar and Cyas would help Julia to the room for the promised nap. It had happened often enough for there to be a pattern. "Love you, Aunt Alicia."
"I love you too," she murmurs, struggling to carry him. A week ago, she could do this without a problem. That she struggles now screams what she's long since realized. Her body is falling apart. "Time for a nap." Still, even with that difficulty, she does make it to his room, and manages to tuck him in. He's asleep before she's even out the door, and it makes her smile. "Always pushing himself."
"That's what little boys do." The slightly patronizing voice makes her skin crawl and she makes a point of shutting the door to Julius's room before facing Manfroy. "I had heard he collapsed," he continues, pretending to not notice her frigid hostility. "I thought I'd check in."
"I have told you many times, Manfroy, that I have it completely under control," she reminds him tartly, venom in every word. Arvis, she still loves and can 'forgive'. Manfroy? She still wishes she had burned him. She hopes, one day, that perhaps she can play some small part in turning all his dreams and victories to ash, as he had turned hers. "I have also told you that Cowen also has it well in hand. There is no need for you to get involved in his health. We're fine."
"Such hostility." He sighs, shaking his head. "From a fellow heal-"
"You are no healer. Don't you dare pretend to be one." She glares at him. "I'm sure you're quite busy. You should get back to that."
"My, my…" He shrugs and walks down the hall. She notices him wincing and knows his scars are bothering him with the cold. "Well, we'll see what-"
"I'll mix up another balm for your scars later." She smirks when he whirls to face her, startled by her words. "As I said, you are no healer. That you are shocked by my actions each time I do this proves it."
She turns away, walking off with her head held high. She bites her tongue so much in matters dealing with him, not wanting to taint the very real happiness Arvis and Diadora had. So she's always quite pleased when she gets the last word with him, and she is even more pleased by how she's slowly warned the children about him. Cyas and Ishtar both hate him with a passion, and Julius and Julia already keep their distance. She hopes it continues, in the years to come. She simply does not trust Manfroy, though she has little problem with the Loptyrians themselves, so far at least. The children are adorable. There is a little boy named Salem in particular who she teaches staves to and he's always eager to learn more. It makes her smile, teaching is surprisingly fun, and provides another reason to get up in the mornings. Though she wishes…
Well, whatever her wishes, her body reminds her that it's not holding on for much longer. She begins coughing again, hard enough that she has to lean against a wall to stand up, and there's blood on her hand when she pulls it away. She's been falling apart ever since the massacre, and her body is finally giving up. Stubbornness only takes you so far, even when someone is as stubborn as her. She had hoped to hang on to at least see her children again, but...
A hand takes hers and turns it so that the blood is more visible. She looks up and sees Arvis looking sadly at the blood. Part of her winces at making him sad. Another part is sickeningly happy about it. "I'm going to strengthen the search for the children," he whispers. She closes her eyes at the reminder. Ever since the massacre, Arvis has sent search parties to look for the children. For what she thinks is obvious reasons, he's been unsuccessful. "That way…"
"Seeing my children again isn't going to magically make me better, Arivs," she points out tiredly. She watches the blood slowly drip down her hand, thinking of all the times her hands have been bloody in the past. It's been a long while since it was her own blood. "Who do you even have looking for them now?"
"Aida."
"Oh, well, she might keep your promise then." It had been one of the first things she had gotten out of him, when she had learned he was looking for them. 'Do not kill them.' He had agreed instantly, of course. He had no intention of killing children. That was part of the reason why he had done all of this. "She's very good at following your orders."
"The ones she agrees with." That's all he says, and she's grateful. Aida is much more difficult to 'forgive' for her part in the massacre, particularly her part in getting Azel away since Azel could have warned everyone about the meteors as he had in the desert. She knows it's hypocritical or something, but she can't help it anyway. "You're very worried."
"I am not convinced by Danann's story about how Lex and Ayra died." She's also not certain how safe things are here. That's why she's never gone herself to look for the children. It's not 'safe' yet. It might never be 'safe'. "That's all."
"I'll look into it." He wraps an arm around her shoulder and leads her down the hall. "For now, why don't we get you something to drink? There's fresh apple cider in the kitchens. I'll get you some."
He leads her back to her room before leaving to get the promised cider and she lingers by the window, looking out over the lively, thriving city of Belhalla. It had recovered well from the destruction of the massacre, and while she's grateful people can rebuild and recover, some part of her is bitter that there isn't a single trace of the massacre that had stolen everything from her. The city rebuilds on the blood and bodies of her family, and pays them no mind. It's probably silly to be angry; people rebuilt all the time. But she suppose it's human nature to be at least a little hypocritical.
She gasps when she notices flurries dancing on the wind and presses her hand against the glass to confirm what she sees. It's the first snow of the year. With it, she knows, far better than any actual date, that it's the anniversary of the massacre. By this point, it has been five very lonely, very long years. It has been five years since she has seen any of her friends, has seen her children. It has been five years since…
"I have a horrible feeling that our children are going to take up our blades in the future," she whispers to no one. She swipes her hand over the glass to try and see better and blood smears it instead. She thinks it's fitting. "They'll fight to dispel the regrets we left behind, the messes we created but couldn't fix. I hope they can forgive us for leaving them with such awful burdens." She looks up at the grey sky and smiles bitterly. "Oh gods, if you ever hear a prayer of mine, if you will ever hear a prayer of mine, please let it be this one. Please, watch of them and keep them safe." She closes her eyes and, for a moment, she swears she hears her friends, her family. She swears she hears Chulainn and Sigurd, Ethlyn and Ayra, Quan and Midir and Lex. "So I beg, and so I pray. For their sakes, please… please, keep them safe."
A fortnight later, the bells of the city ring for the funeral of Duchess Alicia of Velthomer, younger sister of Emperor Arvis I, High Priestess, and Healer without Peer. She was twenty-eight years old.
Author's notes: So, if you've ever wondered why this game is affectionately dubbed 'A Song of Ice and Fire Emblem' (fun fact, the first book of that series was published a few months after this game released, iirc), why there are comparisons between Ned Stark and Sigurd, or why Sigurd has a lot of fire jokes associated with him, here's why! Unlike Awakening (which utilizes time travel) and Fates (which utilizes the baby realms), FE4 utilizes the generation system via killing off the first generation. It's often considered one of the biggest twists in a Fire Emblem story (though between time and the nature of the game, most people know it's coming when they play), and Sigurd remains the only lord to die in his game, and stay dead. (Chrom dies in an alternate timeline in FE13, but remains alive in the 'present'. Hector dies in FE6, not FE7. Celica is 'killed' in FE15, but quickly brought back to life via Mila.)
The fates of most of the males after the Battle of Belhalla (or Belhalla Massacre) is left ambiguous in canon (though Kaga did release some of his 'scenarios', I don't consider them canon), while most of the women have their fates set in stone (the main exceptions to that are Ayra and Sylvia, though you get a few more hints for Sylvia than Ayra). We'll talk more about all the fates and the like when they're relevant. Note that the list up there is to the best of Alicia's knowledge, and she's aware she doesn't have all the information.
Since it's finally made a proper appearance, let's talk about Valflame a bit. It's the Holy Weapon of Fire, having 30 might like the rest of them, and it boosts magic, defense, and resistance by 10 each (it's Awakening incarnation boosted magic by 5 instead). Since Arvis has 30 magic, that's 70 attack going straight after the normally lower resistance of your units, and combined with the defensive boosts… well, you're going after him with a Holy Weapon or you aren't going to survive. The utter destruction that the battle caused is based off of a drawing made of the battle, shown in Fire Emblem: Thracia 776 Illustrated Works.
Yes, I know there's the lovely meme from the original fan translation of 'Arvis, you dastard!', but that didn't flow right in the story. Manfroy attacking Lewyn comes from the opening scroll of FE4, actually, providing far more hints towards a twist at the end of gen2. Annand 'appearing' (possibly) comes from the Oosawa manga (ish. It's complicated). The paragraph before the list of names has some dialogue from the game, and the list itself is based on the end-of-gen scroll that happens. Salem, briefly mentioned here, is a playable char from FE5 (and, in fact, holds the honor being the very first playable dark mage in the series). Alicia's final words, her prayer for the future, is based off of some of Sigurd's dialogue from Heroes (highlighting the influence he had on her).
(Oh, and since this was asked and doesn't involve spoilers. I don't own a physical copy of the mangas, but the Oosawa manga has been translated all the way through Game-Chapter 6 so far, with the translation group slowly making their way through the rest of the series. Serenes Forest has a forum topic about it, and it has links to download all the currently translated pages. Seriously, they're all amazing. Go give them compliments or something.)
Next Chapter - Intermission
