I know, I know... you are thinking where the fuck has she been! I hate...HATE that I am now considered one of those writers that do not finish their story. But, I've had my reasons and those reasons being me! I had to do some soul searching and I finally put myself first for once and it feels damn good, but enough of that.
I feel as though I've lost my touch and it shows heavily in this chapter so much so I almost deleted it last night and said fuck it, but then I thought about how much time I put into it and said screw it - it's getting posed.
Anyhow, here's the next chapter, I am sure it has tons of mistakes because after a while the words just blend, but hope you can push through.
"It's know it's in here somewhere," she growled to herself while she rummaged around the closet of her bedroom all the while the front door slamming shut went unnoticed.
She had been searching for a keepsake box that was normally on the left side shelf just inside of the walk-in closet. She had noticed the periwinkle blue box every time she stepped foot in the room, but for some reason when she actually needed it it was nowhere to be found.
"Ugh," Arizona huffed becoming more frustrated at her partner by the second as she began throwing clothes around the room in search for the container.
She had searched ten minutes for it while on the phone with Teddy and another ten while waiting on her wife to call her back, which by the way, she knew was useless at the moment.
For the past few days Callie avoided most of her texts unless it was an absolute emergency and Arizona was getting tired of it. She had done absolutely nothing wrong, yet Callie was taking it out on her for what transpired last weekend and the more she thought about it the more perturbed she became.
She was so engrossed in her annoyance and in finding the box she didn't even hear footsteps or a thud on the nightstand until she felt a presence behind her.
"Whoa," she flinched at a touch before her mind could register what was happening.
"Mmmm..." Callie grabbed her and purred in her ear after inhaling her wife's scent. She couldn't help but wrap her up from behind when she saw her stand up from her kneeling position in the closet. "Bed," she growled biting the lobe of the woman's ear. "Now!" She couldn't wait to devour the blonde's body.
"Wha," Arizona jumped feeling herself become wrapped up unexpectedly but quickly relaxed when she felt her wife's presence. "Mmmm," she hummed tilting her head to the side enjoying the feel from the woman.
This was nice, unexpected, but nice.
It felt like it had been weeks since she had felt the intimate touch of her lover and it was beyond exquisite as always. "I take it," she wiggled to turn around and wrap hers around Callie's waist. "You are finally over your crazy spell?"
Even though she was pissed she could quickly get over it if Callie would come to her senses.
"I said now!" She exclaimed pulling away to swot the woman on the ass before exiting the small room stripping her clothes in the process.
And, Arizona's comment went ignored.
"Damn," she growled. "Where has my Calliope been?" She questioned watching the woman undress leaving a trail of clothes in her wake.
Callie had been oblivious to her advances as of late and finally seeing she seemed to be over it turned her on terribly.
She missed her wife.
"Do you really want to talk or do you want to get naked?" She turned with a raised eyebrow questioning the blonde after shedding her undergarments.
"You have avoided me at all cost," Arizona caught up to the barely naked woman, grabbing her hips from behind and shoving her down on the bed so she could straddle her after she flipping her on her back. "So, I want to do both."
"I pick you," Callie husked feeling her wife's hot breath on the soft skin of her face which turned her on immediately. "naked, on me... now." she begged.
After leaning down for a quick kiss on those soft red lips she loved Arizona breathed, "not yet," she pecked them again before her eyes went back to roaming her lovers golden skin.
"Yes," Callie wiggled but was pinned down by her wife's arms.
"Tell me," Arizona's grasp tightened on the brunette's wrists after placing them above her hair.
"What?"
"First...tell me you love me." She spoke as her eyes now wondered over her wife's luscious chest.
"You kn..." Callie tried to reason but was stopped by a sexy voice.
"Ahh... ahh... I said tell me you love me," she glared back up into chocolate brown eyes. "You used to tell me you loved me all the time, and the last week or so it's been few and far between."
Looking into deep blue eyes Callie saw all the love she ever needed glaring back at her which caused her to instantly feel stricken for treating her wife the way she had lately. She knew it wasn't Arizona's fault, but she couldn't stand what had transpired.
"Make love to me, Arizona!" She pleaded without voicing her love. She just simply needed to feel the closeness of her wife.
Of course she loved her. Callie had never been in love with anyone the way she was with the blonde but her jealousy got in the way of voicing that.
"Callie," Arizona let out a frustrated sigh and released her hold on the brunette to raise up. She just couldn't do this with her wife showing so much lack of emotion towards her as of late.
"Please," she asked grabbing ahold of Arizona's waist to keep her from moving any further.
"You want me to make love to you," she laid her hands on top of her wife's which still rested on her hips. "Yet," she was becoming frustrated. She knew Callie loved her, but this was getting ridiculous. "You can't even tell me you love me?" She questioned with annoyance written all over her face.
"Of course I love you," she stated bluntly. "That's why I came home during lunch, so we could make a baby."
"You came home to make a baby?"
"With you, yes."
"So you are not here because... ohh, I don't know," she spat with a quick shrug as if she were thinking. "You just wanted to be with me?"
Callie only lowered her eyes with that statement.
"Ya know...I want to make ten babies with you," Arizona spoke up again while pulling her wife's hands away from her body. "But, not when you are acting like an ass!" She shoved her hands away and quickly retreated from the bed before Callie could protest.
"Babe, I..." She quickly sat up when she stormed off towards the bathroom.
"No," she quickly turned and growled, cutting her off in the process, "you don't get to babe me," she pointed at Callie. "You have refused to have a regular conversation with me much less call me any type of pet name in days because you are pissed off at an old friend of mine. Then out of the blue after ignoring me unless it is important you come home during your lunch wanting to make a baby with me?" She waited for a reply but Callie just stared in shock. "Is it too much to ask for you to come home and make love to me during your break because you simply want to be with me?"
"I want to be with you," She defended. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be with you."
"No," she held her hand up for the woman to stop. "You are here naked in our bedroom while on your lunch break because you are clearly ovulating, if you weren't you would still be at the office." She paused as silence filled the room. "Am I wrong?"
"Yes and no," Callie whispered. "I don't want to do this with anyone else." She said looking into blue eyes.
"I'm talking about now, Callie. Would you be here right now if you weren't ovulating? And, don't lie we both already know the answer to this."
Arizona watched her wife sigh and run her fingers through her thick, long brown hair in frustration.
"I want to make babies with you, Callie. I want this whole damn house full of tiny feet running around here yelling and screaming. And, I wouldn't share that with anyone but you either," Arizona implored. "But, I refuse a quick fuck and then send you on your way. That's not how we will make our second baby, Callie."
"I'm sorry," she quickly grabbed her shirt off the floor to cover herself after feeling vulnerable in the moment.
"Save it for when you are actually sorry." Arizona grabbed her cardigan sweater off the back of the chair. "I refuse to make a baby with you while you are acting like I did wrong when all I am guilty of is loving you and our daughter." She finished walking out of the room and heading straight for the backyard leaving Callie to think about her actions.
Arizona had to get away from her wife because seeing her naked on their bed wanting sex from her was killing her with want, but she knew it wouldn't do either of them any good at the moment.
Callie was jealous, this she knew, but she didn't get why she was taking it out on her.
And, that jealousy made her want to give Callie exactly what she wanted and fuck it right outta her because the surgeon was smolderingly hot when she was jealous.
It's not that she didn't want to have sex with her wife right now, hell it took every fiber in her being not to devour her right then and if it had been any other time she would have. She would have pushed her against the wall and slammed inside her and gave the brunette all she could handle and then some. She would have left Callie in a puddle on the floor sated after showing her there was no one she'd rather share that intimate contact with than her.
But, she just couldn't stand the thought of possibly getting her wife pregnant in that way. Arizona wanted it to mean something. She didn't want to conceive a baby during a spat. She wanted it to be deep and meaningful not in a moment of heated argumentative haste.
So... she walked away.
Since her lunch break Callie had felt a pain in her chest. She debated on texting her wife to see where she stood with her at the moment, but she decided against it.
Before she even realized Arizona was out the back door and on her way to the water down by the backyard before she even moved from her position in the bed.
Having Arizona turn her down felt like her world crashed, but after some time and a lot of thought throughout the afternoon she realized she would have more than likely done the same as her wife.
She knew this plan she had wasn't her best idea. It wasn't a way to even try to conceive a child, not for them.
She was agrravated at herself.
She despised feeling jealous.
Callie was never the type before the blonde came along, yet seeing some woman her wife had sexual encounters, yes more than one, in a few compromising positions with Arizona last weekend during the her school reunion sent her over the edge.
Of course she knew she would never hurt her in that way. Callie trusted her wholeheartedly, however seeing that woman who had had a fun and crazy past with HER wife filled her with so much jealousy she couldn't see straight.
She had been slightly jealous in the past when JoAnn showed up, but Callie had no insecurities when that women reared her ugly face.
But, this time was different. Although she told her wife her old friend wasn't all that in the looks department reality was Callie thought she was beautiful which upped the jealousy even more last weekend.
Arizona's old friend had it all, the body, looks, outgoing personality and she and her wife seemed to meshed so well together.
What made it worse was they were old fuck buddies still on great terms, so she didn't like seeing them laugh and getting along so well together.
So, she discretely kept a eye on the woman to make sure she didn't overstep.
Callie became furious after catching the woman discard her swimsuit and try her best to hang all over her wife. She knew Arizona was not at fault. Her lover had not made a single move towards the woman much less pay any attention to her. But, she couldn't help but be pissed especially when the blonde acted as if it were no big deal when Callie pulled her away to voice her displeasure.
It was a big deal to Callie so it should have been to her wife as well. She knew if Arizona was in her position she would have been the same way no matter what the blonde said.
So when Arizona said was she was overreacting it hurt.
The brunette felt as if the blonde didn't care about her feelings towards the subject which hurt, and after a bit it turned into anger.
Arizona kept defending her actions by saying that's just the way we were in school, fun and carefree.
Although Callie knew her wife kept her distance as much as she could from the intruder, it didn't stop the fact that the woman was being pushy in her eyes.
However, at the end of all of that happened at lunch today she realized she was in the wrong for taking it out on the wrong person.
The whole ordeal wasn't Arizona's fault, but yet she was the one punished. So, she set out to hash things out with her lover when she returned home from work.
She knew she had some major apologizing to do, so she stopped by Arizona's favorite flower shop to grab her an arraignment of flowers and then stopped by her favorite restaurant and picked up some take out before groveling at her wife's feet.
Unfortunely upon arrival at home Callie found no sign of the woman anywhere downstairs.
Checking upstairs she saw River roam into their bedroom down the long hallway so she made her way inside because if Charlee wasn't home she knew the dogs were glued to her wife.
But, what caught her attention first was not Arizona or the dogs, it was the mess that was in the floor by their closet.
"What the hell," she whispered to herself after seeing a box of their personal items strung out all over the wooden floor.
Upon closer inspection she saw that her wife had finally found their birth certificates which were needed at at the office, the whole reason she was searching in the first place.
Bending over, Callie inspected some of what appeared to be old movie stubs, their behind the scenes passes to the sea turtle exhibit in Miami and older pictures of them.
Slowly going grabbing a handful she couldn't help but smile softly when she saw herself holding their newborn daughter in moments after her birth.
That was the best day of her life.
Placing the pictures back in the abandoned box, the woman finally stood and chanced a glance towards the bed to find Arizona snuggled up to her pillow, napping.
Sighing because she was now feeling more terrible than ever about her rudeness towards her lover, she walked over to her side of the bed and gently sat down on the edge not to disturb her wife.
A few tissues laying near the pillow cause Callie to quickly peer up to the blonde's face.
That is when she noticed her red puffy face.
It looked as though Arizona had cried herself to sleep, but why?
It couldn't have been because of their tiff earlier. They've been through worse things than that without her shedding a tear so something else had to have happened.
It wasn't until she went to grab her wife's soft hand did she see the cause of Arizona's pain.
"Oh, honey," she whispered when she carefully took the print out of her grasp.
At first glance she grinned when she saw the picture but upon further inspection her heart dropped when she saw the date on the photograph.
She hadn't saw this picture in a few years.
Running her finger softly over the ultrasound photo she fought back her own emotions when she saw their very first sonogram of their baby they had lost prior to Charlee.
They have tried several times to get Callie pregnant and with each negative result the ache intensified. So, she couldn't imagine losing a child that was growing inside of her. It had to be a thousand times worse than what she experienced which is why in her eyes Arizona would always be the strongest person she knew.
A soft noise stirred Arizona from her sleep along with a shift in the bed.
Slowly opening her eyes thinking it was one of the dogs she was quickly met with the presence of her wife.
Callie was sitting on the bed before her holding the same picture she fell asleep holding.
Watching the brunette's fingers tenderly swipe over the picture, she watched the woman's eyes become watery.
"That's our baby boy," Arizona quietly spoke startling Callie from her memory.
Taking her time, Callie finally lifted her eyes to meet those of her wife's. "Yeah," she whispered still clutching the paper. "You finally admit that he was gonna be a boy." She couldn't help but sadly give her a shy smile.
"His other mommy wholeheartedly believed that he was a boy," she accepted the photo back from Callie. "So ... yeah, I thought it was gonna be a boy, too," she stated staring at the photo again wishing things were easier for them.
"He was," Callie nodded as they became silent again. "Are you okay?" She faintly questioned.
"I'll never be okay with this," she briefly paused and glanced at the sonogram before continuing, "But, I have learned to move on."
"It upset you today. I saw the tissues," she stated picking one up as evidence. "You can talk to me."
"I know." She whispered as the room became silent once again.
She watched Callie nod and crunple the tissue before she decided to speak again.
"Obviously, from my mess you can see I was looking through stuff," she got the brunette's attention again. "I found it," she laid the picture down on the pillow beside her head. "And, with everything that's been going on... I just," she paused, "let myself go there."
"I'm sorry," Callie whispered becoming upset at herself more so than anyone.
Arizona watched as her wife fought back her tears. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"That's not true," she breathed wiping her nose. "That's not true at all. I have a lot I'm sorry for."
"But, not this." Arizona touched the photograph. "I'll never be sorry for getting pregnant with our baby boy," she moved it and patted the pillow next to her head. "Lay down with me."
Callie quickly obliged her wife's request and laid her head against the blonde's.
"I get it," Arizona spoke once Callie became comfortable beside her.
"What?" She turned her head slightly.
"You being upset with the situation last weekend."
Sighing, Callie's guilt over treating her wife horribly came back yet again. "No, don't," she picked the picture up again so both of then could see it. "Don't apologize. It's like you said a few dozen times since then, you didn't do anything."
"I didn't, but maybe that's the problem. I could have at least told Carlie to back off, and I didn't simply because that's how she was when we were younger and I never thought anything about it."
Last weekend was Arizona's reunion.
She along with her wife and some old friends rented a cabin for the weekend after her reunion in the Archfield Hotel conference room.
Things were going great until Carlie got drunk and started acting like she was in a teenager again.
At first Arizona paid no attention to her actions because it was simply Carlie being Carlie.
They had all been out in the hot tub and pool all night and drinks were heavily flowing through everyone. But, after a while Carlie became naked then things got a little tense when she started getting closer and closer to Arizona which caused Callie to become visibly upset.
When events began to get a little wild Arizona sought out her wife if just to seek eye contact to shoot her a smile or a few subtle touches because she could tell Callie wasn't liking what was unfolding.
But things quickly became worse when the brunette witnessed a naked Carlie run up and wrap herself around her bikini clad wife and slung her into the pool with her.
Both blonde's came up out of the water laughing, or that was until Arizona saw the anger in her wife's eyes.
She began to get out of the pool to try to calm the steaming brunette, but just as she lifted herself out of the pool Carlie pulled the strings of her bikini bottom causing them to drop.
Callie had had enough by then.
She understood they were carefree long ago, but they were goddamn adults now and this kind of advances to her wife were uncalled for.
Throwing the glass down she had in her hand, caused eyes to be on Callie as she stormed closer for the water to give Carlie a piece of her mind.
"I swears she wants you, I know it."
"Callie,"
"You already slept with her, it's obvious she does."
"That was so manyyears ago," she glared at her wife. "Don't say it like that. That was well before you came into my life and I slept with her cause I had nothing else better to do, not because there were any sort of feelings there."
"But the way she looks at you," she shook her head. "It is the way you look at me."
"Well I don't even notice how she looks at me, so what's that tell you?" She rolled over to face her lover.
"That she's not pretty like I am, duh." She teased.
"Exactly,"
"She is, though Arizona," Callie finally admitted. "She is way prettier than I'll ever be."
"Not to me," she placed her hand over her lovers heart. "You are my heart stopper."
Callie could only shake her head no. "She still wants you and if I weren't there she would have tried her damnedest to get you." Callie stated.
"She could," Arizona shrugged. "But that doesn't mean I'd fall for anything."
"I know," she whispered turning to face her wife as well.
"Then why?" She questioned.
Reaching for the pendant on Arizona's necklace, Callie lightly shrugged and toyed with the piece.
"Because..." Arizona stressed making the bruntte meet her eyes. "I'm in love with you," she grabbed the hand from her neck. "It doesn't matter if there are thirty naked women in a room... my eyes are gonna immediately seek you out...every time." she stated as she watched the brunette's face slightly blush. "Come here," she pulled for her to lay on top of her.
"You are mine," she stated boldly after situating herself on top of her wife. "No one else's," Callie brushed her lips against the soft skin of the blonde.
"I don't want to be anyone else's."
"I'm sorry I've been hateful," she gently brushed her red lips against pink before pulling back. "I love you."
"I love you, too," she gently caressed her thumb across her bottom lip before leaning up and softly pecking the red lips she loved so much.
"Does this mean we're through fighting?" She looked down at her lover and brushed some blonde strands of hair out of her face.
Stilling herself a moment, Arizona gazed at the soft skin of Callie's face above her before she finally spoke, "yea," she replied quickly rolling out from under the brunette and darting out of the room.
Shocked, Callie watched the woman hurriedly leave the room before flopping her upper body down on the bed. "Ugh," she let out an exasperated sigh when her face meet the warm sheets her wife just abandoned.
She didn't want this tiff to go on any longer. She needed to go find her lover to see what was going on now, however just as soon as she started out of bed the object of her affection appeared again.
"So we have roughly two hours until mama brings Charlee home," Arizona spoke causing the brunette to quickly raise her head. "Still wanna make a baby with me?" She questioned holding up the white bag Callie had brought home earlier in the day.
Callie stared sincerely into blue eyes until a smile swept across both their faces. "Get your naked sexy ass over here," she patted the mattress as the women quickly stripped herself of her clothes.
"I'm coming."
"Ohh, you will be!"
