The haunted house had officially been over for a half hour now, but Jonathan had refused to turn the lights back on, making the task of gathering all three of her brothers especially challenging for Harley. And Pam also…where was Pam? She'd promised them a ride.

"Hey, Harry!" She spotted the oldest sitting with his back against the wall, his mask pushed on top of his head, staring at his phone (no surprise there).

"I'm coming," he grumbled, pulling himself to his feet.

"You seen Zeb?" Harley asked.

He shook his head, not acknowledging her further.

"Great…" Harley sighed. And then she heard it: Henry's voice above the sound effects Jonathan had neglected to turn off just yet.

"C'mon, I wanna introduce you to my big sister. She's really fun." Henry was assuring someone…Henry was assuring Selina. He dragged her by the hand out of the maze, brandishing the sword she'd lent him in his free hand.

Selina was smiling amusedly, thoroughly charmed by this little boy, but her expression shifted as soon as her gaze fell on Harley—her smile sinking away and the twinkle in her eye turning colder.

"This is my big sister, Harley." He grinned, indicating the blonde. "She goes to this school."

The smile slowly began to return to Selina's lips as Harley watched, Henry looking back and forth between them, waiting for someone to speak.

It was Selina who finally took the lead. "Your sister is on my gymnastics team." Her tone was warm, kind, different than what Harley was accustomed to from her. "And do you know Pamela?"

"Pfft, yeah." Henry grinned.

"She's Harley's girlfriend," Harry mocked.

Selina chuckled at that. "They're pretty gross, huh?"

"Yeah, we've seen them kiss," Harry reported. "And they're always texting each other."

That seemed to push Harley out of her initial shock phase and into action because, uh, last time she and Selina talked, Harley distinctly remembered the girl bragging about taking Pam's virginity, so…but wait a minute, Harry. "Well then, who are you always texting?" Harley wanted to know.

"She got you there, dude." Selina smirked, before turning her attention back to Henry. "Well anyway, Pamela is my best friend. Has been since we were even younger than you."

Harry crossed his arms, putting his phone down to give Selina his undivided attention. "Really?"

"You ready to go, babe?" Bruce was suddenly there, with a hand around Selina's waist.

"Whoa, do you play football?!' the third Quinzel brother asked, coming in through the front door for some reason, trailed by Pam and Diana.

Bruce laughed. "I do. You've got a good eye, little man."

Harley looked confusedly at Pam as the redhead came to stand beside her, interlacing their fingers. "What were you guys doing outside?"

"This little guy thought it would be a bright idea to just wander off," Diana explained. "Pammy and I had to chase him down. He's faster than he looks," she added with a wink in Zeb's direction, earning a toothy grin from him.

"So…are you guys all friends with my sister?" Harry asked, something nearing pride flashing in his expression.

"No—well, they're Pam's friends," Harley corrected suddenly, desperately wanting to avoid anything awkward.

"And any friend of Pam's is a friend of ours, Harley," Selina assured her, a bit too sweetly to be completely genuine.

"Boys, go get your candy." Harley pointed them over to the wall where they'd set their things. They obliged, a bit begrudgingly, as Selina continued.

"That's sort of the way it works around here, Harley. Just like Professor Gordon is clearly our newest ride or die bitch." Selina nodded her head across the gymnasium and they all turned to see Dick leaning casually against a wall (still dressed in only a speedo), laughing at some hilarious joke Gordon had evidently just cracked. The professor herself was sitting in her chair, seemingly bemused by his reaction.

The group raised a collective judgmental eyebrow.

"Yo, Jailbait!" Selina shouted, visibly startling Dick, who turned to look at them guiltily. "Back away from the nice lady, she's too pretty for prison."

"Here, Dick…come here." Pam laughed, shaking her hair out of her wig and pushing her glasses back into place. "It's safe over here."

Embarrassed, the boy quickly bid his teacher adieu and jogged over to his friends, who were now all sporting knowing smirks. "Will you guys knock it off?" Dick whispered, harshly.

"We didn't mean to embarrass you, Richard," Diana gave him a few friendly pats on the shoulder. "We just happen to like Gordon. Well…except for Pam, but that's just because she finally found someone who didn't melt at that camera-ready smile."

Bruce laughed. "To Barbara Gordon," he held up an imaginary glass. "Immune to Pam and Dick's charms; inspiration to us all."

Selina and Diana joined in the toast, clinking their non-existent glasses together.

"Mmm…" There was something wicked in Pam's smirk that Harley hadn't seen before (and according to the sudden twisting of her stomach, she liked it). "How fortunate for you there are children present."

"And if there weren't?" Bruce's blue eyes sparkled with mirth.

With that smirk still playing on her lips, Pam's hands twisted in the front of his costume and she pulled him closer, leaning up to whisper in his ear, "I'd have to make you melt."

"Well…damn," Dick lamented as the redhead released him. "That did it for me. By proxy. Pamela Isley, color me impressed."

Pam looked at him, that same playful malice in her smirk, and told him, "I'm not wearing these all night," referring to the glasses. "so get your kicks in now."

Oh my God, is Pam a flirt? Wait…did she and Bruce ever…? Or, she and Dick? No. Pam said Selina was the only one…and Pam isn't even into guys. Chill, Harley. These are her friends. Maybe that's just how they are.

"Hey, on that note: you guys coming over or what?" Bruce asked.

The way he said it…to Harley, it sounded like his invitation included her. She wanted to learn more about these people. Learn more about the version of Pam that they knew. See what she was like around people that actually knew her. Had known her.

"Yes." Harley answered suddenly, drawing an odd look from Pam. "Yes, yeah." But when the rest of the group began to give her the same look, her heart rate hastened, sweat beading on her brow. "Oh, I just meant—I wasn't sure if—ha ha," Is there a lake nearby I could throw myself into? "I probably wasn't invited."

"No, uhh—totally!" Bruce recovered. "Like Selina said, any friend of Pam's is a friend of ours."

"Right…yes…that is a thing I said just then, isn't it." Selina's delivery was robotic.

Ugh...the Selina problem…but you know what? Selina didn't own these people. Harley was free to have fun with whomever she chose. As was Pam. Selina didn't get to dictate Harley's relationships. Not with Pam, and not with Diana or Bruce or Dick, either. Even if Bruce was her boyfriend, and Dick and Diana were her boyfriend's best friends, leaving Pam as Selina's best friend and Harley as, well…Pam's girlfriend. Fine! She was totally fine with just being Pam's girlfriend. Who wouldn't want to be Pamela Isley's girlfriend?

Harley read Pam's expression as mostly apprehension, but with a little excitement thrown in there as well. That would have to do.

"Will your mother be home?" the redhead asked. "To look after the children?"

"Oh, yeah." Harley nodded assuredly, glancing at the boys who'd maintained silence for a pretty impressive stretch of time.

"Then it's settled!" Diana smiled, clapping her hands. "Pam, take Harley to drop the kids off, then meet us at Bruce's."

Harley kept glancing nervously at Pam the whole way home, tuning in and out of the conversation the boys were having with Pam about her car. It seemed she knew every feature, understood every mechanism…she really was a walking encyclopedia of ridiculousness, and the boys absolutely loved it.

"Should I come in?" Pam asked, once she'd parked outside the apartment building.

"Umm…well, you don't have to…but my mom might like it, since you're whisking me away again." Harley batted her eyelashes.

"OK," Pam chuckled, leaning forward and placing a kiss on the tip of Harley's nose, which garnered a giggle from Henry and Zeb and a "gross" from Harry as they filed out of the car.

"Hey, Mom?" Harley called as she opened the door, the boys pushing past her to get inside with their candy.

"Yeah, I'm right—Oh," Ms. Quinzel stopped just as she came into view, a smile growing on her face. "Hello, Pam."

"Ms. Quinzel," Pam nodded respectfully.

The woman narrowed her eyes at the girl. "Let's see…you're…Amy Adams in Talladega Nights?"

Pam had left her vest in the car but kept the prop glasses on, and Harley's face soon lit up with realization as she took another look at her. "Oh my God, babe! You totally could have been."

The redhead blushed at the term of endearment, taking the glasses off and looking sheepishly at Harley's mom, who was clearly a bit surprised as well, although there was something sly in her expression. "I was Tina Fey…from Mean Girls." Pam told her.

Her mom had known what she and Pam were going as – Harley had told her. So Harley shook her head with a giggle as the woman continued to give Pam a hard time.

Ms. Quinzel crossed her arms. "Coffee stain on the sweater or funky vest?"

"I—umm—funky vest," Pam confided, like she could barely believe there was someone capable of distinguishing between the two. "But I left it in the car."

"Ah," Ms. Quinzel smiled. "Well, that explains it, then. I bet you looked great."

Harley decided this was the best time to interrupt, as Pam was distracted tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and her mom didn't seem to have any more questions. "So…I got invited to hang out at Bruce Wayne's house tonight."

"Oh?" Her mom looked both surprised and impressed. The Waynes were pretty famous in Gotham City. Harley remembered seeing the story about Bruce's mom being shot by a mugger on the front page of the paper. She wasn't quite sure why that image still stuck with her…the boy in the picture had looked so sad, his dad's hand on his shoulder…weird to think of that as the same Bruce Wayne she now knew.

"Yeah, he's like Pam's best friend, they've known each other forever, and…anyway, Pam and I were probably just gonna watch a movie or something but then he offered and—don't worry, I'll take plenty of pictures inside the house." Harley assured her.

"So…" Ms. Quinzel seemed a little confused. "Bruce Wayne just wanted to hang out with you and Pam?"

"Oh, no," Harley laughed. OK, yeah that does sound a little weird. "His girlfriend's gonna be there, Selina Kyle, she's the captain of my gymnastics team. And—uh—Dick Grayson, he plays tailback on the football team, he's got a crush on a teacher who sorta looks like Pam, but she's in a wheelchair and is more like, understated, ya know? More like hot computer nerd or—or hot literature professor, I guess," Harley laughed, sensing that she was rambling but unable to stop herself at this point. "Anyway, yeah. So that's Dick. And then Diana, she's the one we went on the double date with, remember? I told you about her. She's the captain of the lacrosse team and her girlfriend—well—also sort of looks like Pam, I guess?"

"It's widely theorized that all redheads are related." Pam helped. "That we are all descendants of a single ancestor that carried the currently active gene for red hair, although estimates placing the occurrence vary between 20,000 and 100,000 years ago."

Ms. Quinzel was clearly charmed by the girl. "That so?"

"Yes," Pam confirmed. "You know; red hair is actually the rarest naturally occurring hair color in the world. I'm one of roughly 2% of the population that shares the trait. Green eyes, like mine, are far more common than the blue eye-red hair combination, though, which is the rarest minority in the world, period. "

"Ooh, Professor Gordon has blue eyes!" Harley said, excitedly.

"OK, girls," Ms. Quinzel waved her hands to stop them. "I think you passed the test. You're good to go."

"Yay!" Harley cheered, planting a quick kiss of appreciation on her mom's cheek before scurrying off to her bedroom to change. Pam stayed behind…which was fine, she and her mom could make conversation for two minutes, right? Pam was like every parent's dream.

Harley yanked off the velour sweatsuit, and then the white tank top she was wearing underneath. Quickly, she removed the copious padding in her bra and tossed it all onto the floor, opening her dresser drawer and pulling out a pair of jeans and a faded Ramones t-shirt. She changed at a record pace before sliding her red Converse out from underneath her bed and lacing them up.

"It was a truly satisfying experience," Pam was telling her mom when she reentered the living room area. "Your daughter is extraordinary, really. Unquestionably talented."

What are they…?

"And the moment she finished-gorgeous. Her body position was-"

Harley's mouth dropped open in horror. "Oh my God, Pam! TMI!"

Both Pam and her mom turned to look at her curiously. "I'm…sorry," Pam apologized, although it was clear she didn't know why she was doing it. "Your mother was lamenting having to miss your first meet. She asked me how it went…Is that—was I oversharing?"

Ms. Quinzel looked equally confused…for a moment…and then she realized where Harley's mind had gone and covered her face with her hands. "Really, Harl?"

Shit, fuck, no, God, why?

Attempting to flee her embarrassment, Harley lunged for Pam's hand and began dragging the bewildered redhead out the door.

"See ya later, Ma! We'll be safe!"

Harleen Frances Quinzel, get. your. mind. out. of. the. gutter.