Note: It's back motherfuckers. The worst story ever written. Time to take this shit to another level. And trust us, you ain't seen nothing yet...


"Okay, just hear me out."

"You know, nothing good ever came out of your mouth after you've said that."

"Tons of good ideas have come out of my mouth. This is the best one yet."

"I can guarantee it will not be."

Yang brushed her girlfriend's complaints to the side. "Oh, humbug. Anyway, here's what I'm going to be proposing to Ironwood: official Huntress uniforms."

Blake was taken by surprise. "Oh. I was expecting worse."

"See? I'm reasonable," Yang explained. They were walking back to their room after a long day of Huntress-ing, which was usually the time of day when Yang had her worst ideas. Blake blamed the adrenaline. Whenever Yang got hyper, she tended to lose it. It was also, coincidentally, the times when she got the best sex, and that was probably why she was willing to put up with most of Yang's nonsensical bullshit. This, however, was not nonsensical bullshit—at the moment.

"Why uniforms?"

"I feel like it would bring a sense of unity, you know," Yang explained. "Something to show the world that we're Team RWBY, and we're back together as a family, and we're gonna kick their asses, and that we're hot as hell!"

"Yeah, that sounds great," Blake agreed. Then, she did a double-take. "Wait… hot as hell? Yang, what do these uniforms look like?"

"Duh!" Yang laughed at her. "Their swimsuits!"

Blake facepalmed. "What?"

"Come on! What else would they be beside super-thin G-string bikinis?" Yang asked doubtingly. "Just imagine us soaring through the air, tits ready to burst from our tops, descending to the earth and crushing the Grimm beneath our long, slender legs. Ass cheeks everywhere. Breasts bouncing. Sunglasses on. It would be super dope."

They arrived outside of their dorm room, and Blake leaned against the frame, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Yang, don't be ridiculous."

"What? Don't you think that'd be super hot?" Yang pouted.

Blake groaned. "Obviously, it's super hot! Who doesn't love ladies kicking ass in as little clothing as possible? But Ironwood isn't going to approve that. He's like a full-blown fascist. Promiscuous women are like poison to him."

"Then let us be his poison!" Yang declared boldly. "We'll show up in his office all dressed up, and then I'll bend over so that he basically sees my whole asshole, and then he'll have to let us do it."

Blake sighed and pushed open the door to their room. "Honestly, I just don't think that he'd—"

Blake froze and gasped in shock. Upon entering their room, they were immediately greeted with the sight of Nora lying on her back in Yang's bunk, completely nude, legs spread wide and shoving some large, phallic object directly up her ass. A Scroll was in her other hand, and she was holding it up in front of her watching—by the sound of the video—some very kinky shit on its holographic screen. She moaned disturbingly loud, practically in tears as she pumped the enormous dildo away at her ass, and she was in such heavenly bliss that she barely noticed her two friends enter the room. Blake cried out in horror, closing the door behind her so that no one would see the naked Huntress plowing herself on her girlfriend's bed. Yang rushed forward and smacked the Scroll out of Nora's hands, and Nora yelped in frustration as Yang began to chew the redhead out.

"What the actual fuck, Nora?" she screamed.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Nora protested, hand still resting on dildo and dildo still resting in ass. "They were just getting to the double penetration."

"I'm about to double penetrate your face if you don't tell me what it is you're doing on my bed!" Yang said, drawing back her fists and pumping the shotguns around her wrists. Nora rolled her eyes.

"Um… I'm masturbating? Pretty clear, if you ask me," she said casually.

"But why in my bed?" Yang demanded to know. "If you want to shove a…" She froze, her eyes growing wide. "Is that a cucumber?"

"Zucchini," Nora said with a nod. "The stem is currently inside me, so I get how it looks like a cucumber though."

"Whatever. My point is that if you want to do perverted shit, do it somewhere else," Yang said sternly.

"But Ren kicked me out of my room and I was horny!" Nora moped. The zucchini was still inside her and she had no intention of pulling it out anytime soon. "He got mad at me because he said I was being too rough with him… as if that's ever stopped him before. Coward."

"I don't give a shit," Yang said, taking a deep breath. "Ruby doesn't want us doing any more weird sex shit. If she catches you in our room with a zucchini up your ass, she'll kick our asses."

"But wouldn't you rather just join me instead?" Nora asked with a devious smirk.

"Yeah, obviously!" Yang said obviously. "I would do so much weird sex shit with that zucchini it'd blow your mind."

"And I would watch her do weird sex shit with that zucchini!" Blake called out from behind her.

"But that doesn't matter," Yang said. "I'm trying to be a normal person dammit. Now put on your pants and take your vegetable-fucked asshole out of my room before she gets back."

Nora sighed in defeat. "Fiiiiiiine. I'll leave. But can you at least help me get this zucchini out? I think it's stuck."

Yang groaned miserably. "Blake, can you turn off that porno while I help Nora?"

It had become an unfortunate standard practice for them to do things like this. A few months ago, they never would have imagined getting so intimate with each other. One vision of the future and a startling confession later, though, and everything got flipped on its head. Before, doing something like pulling a delicious vegetable out of her teammate's anal cavity would have been nothing more than a bizarre wet dream for Yang. But now, it was relatively tame. She could easily picture the ways in which it would be more fucked up. If she was eating the zucchini, for example, or if that zucchini was jammed up Ruby's ass instead of Nora, or if her mother was watching the whole thing with an amused smirk on her face while stroking her massive cock. She was thankful it was just a plain case of stuck zucchini instead. Far simpler. Blake agreed, too. It was for the best that they tried to put their kinky shenanigans behind them. No one needed any more of that when they were trying to save the world from the increasingly sexy Salem. They could not afford to be distracted by porn or sex.

That didn't mean they weren't distracted, however. Take, for example, the moment when Blake picked up Nora's scroll and accidentally caught a glimpse of the lewd images on the screen. It was, in a word, intense.

"Hey, Nora, you've got some good taste," Blake stated passively as Yang struggled to free the zucchini.

"Thanks, Blake. I put a lot of effort into—" She hissed suddenly as Yang pulled a teensy bit too sharply. "I try to find videos that entertain my mind as much as my pussy. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I feel you," Blake said, biting her bottom lip. "I can't watch any video that gets straight to the fucking, you know? Give me a story. A narrative. Character development. Make me feel something more than just another orgasm."

Nora nodded in agreement. Yang crawled onto the bed for better leverage, rising to her knees and wrapping both hands around the base of the zucchini. She gritted her teeth and pulled with all her might as Nora gasped and seized at the harsh movements within her.

"You got a… oh my god… you've got a point," she said through staggered breaths. "Though I also like those behind the… good god, holy shit… behind the scenes videos also."

"Behind the scenes videos?" Blake asked.

With a sudden pop, the zucchini was freed, and the force sent Yang flying backward across the bunk. The vegetable sailed far across the room, smacking against the opposite wall with a heavy, moist fall before dropping to the floor. Nora released an orgasmic scream and plunged deep into the pillow beneath her, trembling and shutting her legs as she came down from the intense high she just experienced. After having a solid minute to breathe, she took a deep breath and looked up a Blake with a knowing smile.

"Yeah. Behind the scenes videos," she explained. "You know, where you get to see the makings of the porn and there are usually a bunch of funny outtakes with the crew. It's getting to see your favorite porn stars in a totally new light. You know… like they are actual people instead of sex toys for our amusement."

Actual people? Blake was stunned. Was that even possible? She had to see it to believe it. Yang could see her thought process playing out across her features, and she felt a sense of imposing dread. She was really trying to take her horniness hiatus seriously—okay, she wasn't really, but she liked to tell herself that she was taking it seriously, dammit! That had to count for something! Maybe? That Blake and her horny fantasies were going to ruin everything. She had to stop her before Ruby came back, before it was too late. Before the horniness took control of them yet again. However, Nora could also see where Blake was headed by her eager facial expressions, and before Yang could protest, Nora jumped up to her feet, and on shaky legs, she hurried to Blake's side, moving her fingers to the Scroll.

"Come on. Let's watch one together. You'll love it!"

Blake nodded excitedly, and before Yang could stop them, the two Huntresses were looking through the categories on .com for the most delectable behind the scenes video they could find. It did not take very long before they found what they were looking for.

"Here's a good one," Blake said happily. "'Sexy Lesbian Director Steps In To Show Male Star How It's Done.' Perfect!"

"Let's watch!" Nora said, clicking on the screen. They leaned into each other, Nora pressing her boobs up against Blake's back and resting her hands upon the Faunus's shoulders. After a fifteen second add for an online game that dared them not to cum, the video began. Yang could not see the video from her position on her bed, and she didn't dare try to look at it herself lest she relapse into Eternal Hotness. But the girls never bothered to turn down the audio from before, so she could clearly hear the events as they unfolded. She could only read the expressions on Nora and Blake's faces, and based on solely that, she determined that what they were watching was rather entertaining.

"You like that, you dirty bitch?" the man in the porno said through his terrible acting.

"Oh, yeah, give that monster cock to me, baby," the woman said, her acting equally terrible.

Nora laughed and pointed. "Geez, look at his form. He's barely getting up inside her!"

Blake snickered. "Come on, man! You're in doggy style. You can go deeper than that!"

"You like my dick, baby?"

"Yeah! I love your dick!"

"She absolutely does not love his dick," Nora said, her hand wandering down to her crotch. "You can see it all on her face."

"Yeah. She needs someone to come along and give it to her right," Blake moaned, licking her lips in anticipation. The faked orgasmic sounds continued on for a little longer, and the tension grew thicker and thicker, and their groins grew wetter and wetter, until finally, they heard a woman's voice calling from off the screen.

"Cut! That's enough, Paulo!"

Yang could not place it, but that voice… it sounded strangely familiar.

"Ooh, here she comes!" Nora gasped lustfully. "Oh, I hope she's blonde. Blondes are the best—except for my Ren, of course."

"I hope she has massive tits," Blake said, drooling over herself.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I'm just not feeling the energy, Paulo. Let me show you."

Yang did not see the director walk onto the screen. She did not see her gently push her male star off to the side and give him a quiet talking to. She did not see her mount the other girl from behind and gently move her into a more erotic position so that her ass would be better sticking up in the air for the camera. Blake and Nora saw this clearly, but Yang could only see their faces. They did not read like she expected them to. She thought they would start fangirling or screaming, or hell, even just start making out with each other in pure, unfiltered sexiness. Instead, she saw them stare blankly at the screen. First, in amusement. Then, in joking confusion. Then, in actual confusion. Then, in shock. Then, lastly, in unbridled, tearful bewilderment. Nora clasped her hand over her mouth, tears swelling up in her eyes. Blake's hand trembled so violently that she almost dropped the Scroll entirely, barely holding it in her fingertips. Yang was baffled how a sex scene could be so incredible that it would bring two of the filthiest sluts she knew to the emotional brink. But then, the female director spoke up again.

"You see, Paulo," she said distinctly, "you really have to fuck her like this. Plunge yourself as deep as you can go."

That voice… it couldn't be…

Yang bounded off the bed and crowded behind her teammates, and what she saw caused her mouth to drop open. She saw the standard porn bedroom, devoid of all furniture and reused in a thousand sex-laded shoots. She saw the star actress down on her forearms and knees, ass sticking so far up in the air it could touch the clouds, moaning into oblivion as she was given a proper fucking. And then, she saw the female director that was pumping into her, a strap-on placed over her otherwise totally normal and proper clothing. Yang recognized the young woman immediately. Her bright red hair cascading down her shoulder. Her sharp features. Her muscular build nearly ready to burst out of her blouse. And her stunning green eyes that spoke of stoicism and bravery in the face of battle… and the face of death.

"So, if you do it like this," the porn director said casually, driving her hips ferociously into the actress's pussy, "I think you'll really improve the overall mood of this scene. Do you understand me, Paulo?"

Nora fell to her knees in shock. Blake went numb. Yang instinctively reached forward and exited the video out of fullscreen. She scrolled down to the video description where the credits lied. She had to be mistaken. There was no way. No chance in hell. She read the names of the people in the video, and time stood still.

Starring: Paulo Deranamo

Starring: Star Starbright

Directed by Nyrrha Pikos.