Note: Thank you to everyone for your requests. We'll try to do as many of them as possible... somehow... in this story's usual fashion, of course. Anyway, let's get going. We don't have time to waste. Enjoy.


The board room was colder than the frozen landscape outside. Winter never knew how that was possible. Maybe it was the constant cold presence of her father that sent such chills down her spine, even when he was no longer there. She sat pensively at the table, hands clasped together in front of her, back straight, staring at the woman across from her for whom she shared no goodwill. Why Robyn Hill was invited to the meeting she would never know. They were long-time political enemies, and even though she may have—to the tiniest degree—appreciated her message, it had been one of her central goals for the past several months to keep that woman out of that very board room for as long as possible. Yet now, that woman was alone with her in said boardroom—at the very behest of her own sister.

Weiss entered the room with a confident stride, Penny gleefully following her. A bold smile across her face Weiss took her proper seat at the head of the table and looked to both of the strong women with great satisfaction.

"Hello, Winter, Miss Hill. I'm so glad you could make it," she said warmly.

"Why did you summon me here?" Robyn asked, annoyed. "We're not friends. We're barely enemies."

"Speak for yourself," Winter sneered.

"Ladies, please, calm down," Weiss insisted. "I brought you here because for too long, the women of Atlas have been pitted against each other by the powers that be. They have conditioned us to be nothing more than servants, to believe that we are inferior to the opposite gender, that we must be slaves to their whims. We battle against each other with our petty squabbles, yet our real enemies are plotting behind the scenes, trying to continue their dominance over us. Whether it be the Grimm, or Salem, or our father, there will always be people trying to destroy us. That's why I've called us here: to put our differences aside and unite for the common good."

Robyn looked at her with confusion. "Who's Salem?"

Winter crossed her arms. "Yeah, sis. Who's Salem? It's not like she's top-secret information or anything."

"Oh, no one cares," Weiss dismissed her casually. "My point is that our team has recently come up with a plan that we think will build bridges amongst our two warring factions and bring peace to not just Atlas and Mantle, but Remnant as a whole."

"You're proposing an alliance? No deal," Robyn said bluntly. "I appreciate your attempt at overt feminist rhetoric as much as the next radical. But my issue has always been with upper-class snobs like your sister enforcing policies that bring corruption and steal from the people who need it. At the end of the day, I am never going to align myself with someone who will never hold the interests of Mantle above the interests of herself."

"For the record, I don't want to partner with you, either," Winter stated. "You're a dangerous anarchist whose going to bring Atlas to the brink of destruction. I may not like my father, but I have a responsibility to ensure our Kingdom's prosperity—and our future can't afford someone like you." She paused momentarily. "Plus, she wants to give everyone free healthcare! Lunacy!"

"Free health care is a right, goddammit!" Robyn screamed, shoving her fist into the air. Weiss quickly moved to settle the room.

"Okay, that's enough politics out of the two of you," she said thoroughly. "Now I get that you'll never be able to reconcile your differences. That's why I'm not asking you to become allies permanently. I'm merely asking you to put aside your grievances for one—maybe two—nights of passion to save the world."

Winter and Robyn stared at her like she had just spouted a second head.

"I'm sorry," Robyn said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Did you say a night of… passion?"

"I know," Weiss said understandingly. "I'm not the biggest fan either, but it might be our only option."

"Um, Weiss? What are you proposing, specifically?" Winter asked worriedly.

"Well, sis, this is going to be a little awkward," Weiss said sheepishly, extending her arm out to Penny. "So I've brought along a little video to help explain it. Penny, if you would please?"

Penny approached the table with a USB drive in her hand, and she passed it off to Weiss gladly. The heiress took the drive and reached toward the projector embedded into the table. It was used to display projects and charts on the opposing wall as large as possible for shareholder meetings and the like but Weiss was intent on using it for more practical purposes. She was going to show them something all right. She only hoped it would be convincing enough. After around seventeen minutes of fumbling with the technology, including screwing up the cables, getting the sound to work with no video, getting the video to work with no sound, breaking the whole computer for a few minutes until they had an IT repair guy come and fix it, she was finally able to show the two opposing figures her team's pitch to save the world. She smiled as the video started. She almost felt like a proper Schnee.

Almost.

A pair of tits flashed up upon the wall with big, rainbow strobing letters on top of it. SEX TIME.

"Hey, you filthy sluts," the voice of Nyrrha Pikos moaned as short clips of lesbian in the midst of fucking appeared in rapid succession. "Do you want to get hot and heavy to save the world from the brink of annihilation?"

Immediately, Robyn and Winter looked back at Weiss, whose cheeks flushed as she sunk back into her chair. Penny smiled behind her, cheerfully unaware of her friend's embarrassment. Admittedly, Weiss did not watch the trailer Pyrrha made beforehand; she simply trusted the former Huntress's word that it was "Informative and subtle" in its attempt at persuasion. So, when a picture of a close-up vulva appeared with the flashing words LICK ME YOU DUMB WHORES plastered on top of it and stayed on the screen for twenty uninterrupted seconds, she felt a little betrayed.

"Get ready to fuck and suck all of your horny friends to defeat evil," Nyrrha said seductively as fourteen women scissored each other with jazzy saxophone music playing in the background. "You'll need to get real good at eating cunt if you want to—"

Before another word could be uttered, Robyn calmly reached across the table and turned off the video with a single button press.

"Okay, seen enough of that," she stated. "I'm out of here."

She tried to leave the room in a hurry but Weiss stood up and desperately blocked her path.

"Wait! You can't leave!" she pleaded. "We need you and your gang of lesbians to destroy the Grimm with the power of sex!"

Robyn placed her hands on her hips and sneered. "First of all, that sentence doesn't make any sense. Second of all, what do you mean by 'gang of lesbians'?"

"I mean, aren't you—"

Robyn rolled her eyes. "Oh, I get it. You think that just because I run a group of strong, independent women who are tough and strong, therefore we must all be a bunch of butch lesbians hanging around, right? Because obviously, we can't just be a bunch of female friends who believe in a good cause. No, we have to be a collection of hyped-up dykes, right?"

Weiss stammered awkwardly. "Well, like… that was the general vibe you were giving off. Wasn't it?"

Robyn shook her head, disappointed. "You know I have a husband, right?"

Winter gasped in surprise. "You do?"

"Yes," Robyn said affirmatively. "His name is Jeffery, we've been together for three years, and I love him very much. And it's not just me. You know Fiona, the adorable little sheep girl?"

"She's not a lesbian either?" Weiss said, stunned.

"Straight as an arrow," Robyn confirmed. "Not only that, but she actually has some pretty troubling views on bisexual people."

"Wow," said Winter, placing her hand to her mouth. "I never would have guessed that."

"It's because you rich Atlas people are a bunch of stereotype-loving bigots!" Robyn declared. "Seriously, all masculine-leaning women have to be gay to you. We can't just be ourselves. Disgraceful. I'm out of here."

Weiss stepped in front of the radical again as she tried to leave, thinking as fast as she could for how she could convince her to stay. "Wait. You have to come join our lesbian orgy porn shoot. We weren't kidding when we said the fate of the entire world depends on it."

"I don't care about the entire world. I care about protecting the citizens of Mantle," Robyn said sternly. "And I'm not going to have all my friends humiliated by forcing them to partake in a porn shoot so you and your friends can get off to it."

"But… but… don't you want to see my sister take it up the ass?" Weiss said suddenly. Winter stood up in protest, but Robyn could not help but be intrigued by the proposition.

"Winter Schnee taking it up the ass?" Robyn said placing her thumb to her chin.

"Not just Winter," Weiss said, very much without her sister's consent. "She has an entire elite troop of female guards who serve her every whim. They mainly do security, but there's at least a dozen of them and we can get all of your Happy Huntresses to fuck them up the ass as well!"

"That is… a lot of anal sex," Robyn said sincerely.

"And think about it like this," Weiss proposed. "While we're making our porno, we can also shoot a little propaganda video. Do you want to establish your dominance over the Atlesian elite? Demonstrate to our people that you have the strength to be their leader? Let's release a video of you literally fucking over the hierarchy of this Kingdom, and you'll see a massive boost in popularity with the 18-49 male demographic!"

Robyn crossed her arms. "Hmm. That is a demo we've been struggling to reach with our marketing," she noted. "And it would serve as an incredible boost of morale after we lost that election."

"Exactly!" Weiss exclaimed happily, even as the concerned calls of her sister grew louder next to her. "And since you don't have to put your mouth on a single pussy, it could be seen as totally straight! Even Fiona wouldn't mind."

"It would make that homophobic bitch happy," Robyn mused. "But I'm still not sure. It would be pretty embarrassing overall."

"Yes!" Winter screamed quickly. "It would be embarrassing. That's why you shouldn't fuck me in the ass."

Weiss ignored her sister. "What if you also fucked me in the ass? And my mom?"

Fun fact: Weiss did not really want to get fucked in the ass. She also found it rather morally questionable to be putting up her mom as an offering of sodomy to a random lady for their fun lesbian porno video without her mom's consent. Then again, she found all of these circumstances morally questionable. She was of the sound mind that her team should be trying to minimize the amount of crazed sexual contact they had with each other. But two things propelled her into her new wild adventure. One: if Pyrrha's insane plan actually worked, then it would result in world peace and the erasure of all Grimm. Two: she would be able to spend at least some of the porn shoot having sex with Ruby, and that would be pretty fun. But to do that, she had to be willing to make some sacrifices. If getting her asshole pierced by a giant strap-on could help save the world, then by the Gods, she was going to take that rubber up her ass like her life depended on it.

"So, what you're saying," Robyn said interestedly, "is that if we join you, this lesbian orgy film of yours includes a scene where all of the Happy Huntresses take the Schnee ladies, line them all up and fuck them in the ass over and over again, and we get to edit that footage and make our own propaganda short film about how we conquered you sexually? And you'll be okay with doing that?"

"Sure!" Weiss said with a big fake smile. "It'll be great!"

Winter, no longer willing to stand by and listen to her body get sold away, grabbed Weiss by the shoulders, and pulled her away from Robyn, who smile was growing wider by the second.

"Hang on a second, Weiss," Winter said hastily. "I never agreed to this! There's no way I'm having anal sex on camera, especially not next to my own sister and mother."

"Hey, incest isn't cool in my book either," Weiss said understandingly. "Trust me, that's Blake's shit. But this plan could save the whole world, and we need your help."

"Why?" Winter asked desperately. "I don't approve of you doing this in the slightest, but aren't you and your friends enough?"

"But you're so hot!" Weiss pleaded. "I mean, not like I want to have sex with you, but just objectively speaking, you're absolutely stunning. We need you to have sex on camera for us or the whole thing will fall apart."

Winter pouted. "I'm… I'm just not sure."

Weiss quickly thought up a new plan. She couldn't afford to let Winter fall through her fingers. Plus, if she could get Winter, their mother would almost certainly agree to join as well, and she already promised her body up to Robyn like a plate of hot sausage. "Okay, okay… what if we fulfilled one of your kinks during the shoot, too?"

"One of my kinks?" Winter asked with surprise.

"Yeah," Weiss nodded. "There has to be some fetish you have that we can include. A hot lady you've always secretly wanted to bang. A fun bit of roleplay. Something fun."

Winter pondered that question long and hard, scratching her chin. "Well…" she said very cautiously. "To tell you the truth, I've always wanted to be involved in doctor-patient roleplay."

"See, that's something!" Weiss said excitedly. "How about this? After Robyn gets through fucking you, you'll probably be very sore. So, we'll have someone else come by in a sexy nurse uniform and take care of you, if you know what I mean."

"That would be something. But we'd need to add to it," Winter said, starting to get into the swing of things. "It needs to be a very slutty nurse costume, worn by someone with very large breasts."

"Of course."

"And also, since we're not indecent, you and I are going to have to stay as far away from each other during the orgy as possible."

"Right," said Weiss. "We don't want to accidentally end up sleeping with each other. That'd be disgusting."

"Precisely," Winter said with a laugh. "Thankfully, that's never going to happen. We will not ever end up having sex."

"Right," said Weiss. "Never ever."

"And this isn't foreshadowing," Winer noted. "This won't be one of those situations where it's super ironic because we do end up having sex."

"Nope. We're not fucking. That's for certain."

"We are deadly serious about that."

"Never going to bang."

"Nope."

"Nuh-uh."

"We ain't doing it, so don't expect it."

"If you think I'm going to sleep with my own sister—or my own mom—then you've got another thing coming."

Weiss laughed.

And Winter laughed.

And Weiss laughed.

And Winter laughed.

And they looked at each other.

And they sighed.

And they became silent.

Very silent.

Weiss cleared her throat. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"


While the meeting occurred in the board room, its occupants were unaware of the guard patiently waiting outside with her ear pressed to the door. The short woman listened intently, taking in every word with a great amount of awe. When she heard the final details of the plans being discussed, she smirked to herself and slithered away, moving swiftly down the endless corridors of the mansion. There was a slight skip in her steps as her mind raced with possibilities. She hurried to an abandoned wing of the mansion, where her partner in crime waited patiently for her. When she entered, she saw Cinder standing idly by, a glass of champagne in her hand, and when the guard closed the door behind her, her form changed into the far more devious umbrella-wielding criminal mastermind feared by all.

"Have you learned anything in your reconnaissance?" Cinder asked evilly. Neo laughed.

"Ooh, bitch, you got no idea," she said gladly. "Those Huntresses are planning some steamy shit."

"Are they now?" Cinder asked with interest. "Tell me all the details."

So, tell the details Neo did. All of the details. Every goddamn word of it. Cinder hadn't really known what to expect. She hadn't checked in on her nemeses since the Battle of Haven, and apparently, an entire universe had changed since that point. She thought that she was still playing by the normal rules all this time. She could not be more mistaken. Neo told the story in a fairly formal cadence, which almost made Cinder not believe her. It just couldn't be. Team RWBY: filthy sluts? Impossible. Improbable. And yet, there was such certainty behind Neo's voice that Cinder could not help but believe it.

And that gave her hope.

"So… they're going to be hosting this orgy soon? And the guards are invited to partake?" Cinder said, her scheme beginning to form.

"Yep. It should happen sometime in the next two weeks, right here in this very mansion," Neo stated. "Why? What are you planning?"

Cinder laughed deviously. She looked at Neo with a malicious grin, and the criminal suddenly felt very uncomfortable. "That depends, my short-statured companion," Cinder stated. "How comfortable are you with anal?"


It was a relatively quiet day in the castle of darkness when Mercury stormed into Salem's chambers.

"Lord Salem, I have important news to share!" he screamed, immediately freezing in his tracks when he entered the room.

It had been a long many weeks since Salem returned from the cabin, defeated and dejected and rejected altogether. It had been very hard for her to cope, and the new Salem that Mercury had grown accustomed to was quite different than the evil, cruel Salem of old. The new Salem was lying face down on a massage table in the center of the room, completely naked, every inch of her pure white skin glistening with oil. There was a half-drunk bottle of wine by her side, and her hair was flowing off the sides of the tables as she sighed contently with her place in life. The nudity was something Mercury had grown accustomed to, and so was the wine, and so was the hardcore gangster rap music that she kept playing on a constant loop on a Scroll by the bed. Ever since she returned, she claimed she was going to live a freer, more truthful lifestyle. Like a hippie, she said. All that really amounted to was sulking around and downing ice cream as she cried herself to sleep thinking of Jinn, the love she had lost once again in her life. Mercury expected all of that; what he wasn't expecting was Emerald, also completely naked and covered in oil, smoothing her hands up and down Salem's ass as she hummed along to the gangster rap. When she noticed Mercury's presence, she scowled at him.

"Dude! Fucking knock next time!" she screamed at him. He did not cower, instead stepping forward, unfazed.

"Why are you also not wearing clothes, Emerald?" he asked. "I thought you were above this."

"Hey, I don't want to get any oil on my clothes. That stuff was expensive," Emerald claimed.

"Then wear your underwear, at least!"

"That was also expensive! Lingerie is hard to come by out in the middle of an evil wasteland!"

"Okay, but why are you also covered in massage oil?"

Emerald rolled her eyes. "Because our Bad Bitch boss is paying me, that's why! Have you ever heard of a Nuru massage?"

"A what?"

Salem picked up her head, smiling in bliss. "It's when the masseuse uses their entire body to massage you instead of just their hands. They climb on top of you and run themselves up and down—"

"Okay, I don't need to know these details," Mercury said, kind of actually wanting to know those details. "Do you want to hear an update on the status of Team RWBY?"

Salem groaned, placing her head back down into its rest on the table. "Oh, who gives a shit anymore? Let them do whatever the hell they want? I'll just try to conquer the world again in eighty years when they're all fucking dead."

"Well, that's the thing," Mercury said unsurely. "It seems like they're not really doing any Huntress work right now. Instead, they've spread out across Remnant trying to recruit people for a big project."

"A project?" Emerald asked, grabbing two big handfuls of Salem's ass and kneading the mounds of flesh thoroughly. "What kind of project?"

"Um, how do I put this?" Mercury said. "Based on the reports from your Seers, it seems they are trying to get as many sexy ladies together as they can for a… pornographic video."

Salem picked up her head once again, surprised. "A pornographic video, you say?"

"Yes, ma'am. Directed by Nyrrha Pikos."

"Ah, Nyrrha Pikos," Salem said quietly. "That's a good get. The Guzzler had excellent cinematography and… hey, wait a minute…"

Before anyone could say another word, Salem's eyes went wide and she leaped off the table even as Emerald was trying to massage her ass. The sudden motion knocked the green-haired girl off-balance, and she fell onto her face as Salem stormed over to the window, her fists clenched.

Mercury awkwardly glared at her. "What's wrong, My Lord?"

"Those fucking bitches!" Salem growled. "They're going to try to destroy me, aren't they? They're going to gather up as many whores as they can and create a lesbian porn so provocative that it unites the entire world! Then, once the world is horny at the same time, they'll summon the Gods back to the world and have them remove my immortality! That's their plan to finally defeat me, isn't it?"

Emerald looked up from the floor. "Uh, Salem, no offense," she said hesitantly, "but something tells me that they aren't trying to do something so… how to put this… stupid."

"No, that's exactly what they would do!" Salem declared, raising her fist into the air. "It's the perfect way to spite me after all we've been through. I just know it. They can't defeat me physically, so they'll conquer me sexually. Miserable cunts! I knew I should have killed them all when I had the chance. Those sluts think they can destroy me with the power of the female orgasm? I'll show them. I'll take their little porn video and turn it into the world's greatest snuff film! I'll crash that film shoot and kill every last one of those whores and shove their failures up their goddamn asses! Quick, Emerald, how comfortable are you with anal?"

Emerald quickly rose to her feet, waving her hands out in front of her. "Whoa, whoa! How did we get to anal all of a sudden?"

"It's always anal time, motherfucker!" Salem screamed. "My revenge will be glorious. I will prove once and for all that I am the baddest bitch on this planet, and everyone will bow to me. Mark my words: Team RWBY will not achieve an orgasm as long as I'm around. Now, Mercury, tell me. Where are those tramps headed off to recruit their partners in sex?"

Mercury looked at Emerald, trying not to gawk at her blindingly hot figure, and she merely rolled her eyes back at him. Honestly, when they agreed to be evil, they didn't sign up for this shit.

"Well," Mercury began to explain carefully, "they've all split up across the Kingdoms, but we've kept tabs on each of them and who they've tried to convince to join them. Who would you like to start with?"