Note: Thanks for reading this incredibly weird sex comedy. It means a lot. It keeps us sane in dark times. Enjoy.
Oh fuck.
"So, you've certainly been enjoying yourself," Cinder said mockingly.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
"A little bit too much, if you ask me," Neo added.
Weiss was freaking the fuck out. Cinder. Cinder Fall. Right in front of her. Not dead. Very, very not dead. The last time she had been in a room with Cinder Fall, the bitch through a spear through her liver. The time before that, she "murdered" Pyrrha Nikos with an arrow to the heart. How Pyrrha managed to return and become the sensational porno director she was today was still a mystery, and Weiss doubted I was a feat that could be repeated. Weiss was completely screwed. Aside from the fact that she was naked, cum-drunk, and pouring semen out of her asshole like it was tap water, she didn't have her weapons. She had her summons, but would even that be enough against Cinder's Maiden powers? Plus, with Neo stepping on her sister's neck, there was no way she would be able to put up any real fight without putting Winter in harm's way. She was so, so, so so so fucked.
"What… what are you doing here?" Weiss asked fearfully.
"Oh, me?" Cinder said innocently. "I heard that a large number of sexy women were gathering together to shoot an orgy, including my favorite team from Beacon Academy. I figured: I'm a person with certain seductive qualities. Why not stop by and say hello to my old friends?"
"Please, don't kill me," Weiss begged. She looked around the room to the fallen bodies of the Happy Huntresses. They had been taken out like they were no threat at all. She could maybe try to run and get help, but honestly, would she even make it out the door?
"Bitch, you're not in the position to negotiate," Neo taunted her. "By the way, fucking your own sister? Taking two dicks up at the ass at once? That's pretty fucked up for a proper Schnee heiress, isn't it?"
"Hey, nothing wrong with a little butt stuff," Weiss said defensively. "But also, I did not fuck my sister."
"Your mouth was literally on her vag."
"That was an accident!" Weiss claimed. "I would never intentionally have sex with her! Don't you see my cool Incest-free line on the bed?"
"You mean the duct tape?" Neo said, pointing to the line of duct tape. "Yeah, real effective. About as effective as Kanye's presidential bid."
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Kan… ye?"
Neo slapped her own forehead. "Oh, shit, do we not know who that is? I'm sorry. I keep having this problem where I'll make pop culture references to something that doesn't exist."
Weiss's fear subsided as sheer bewilderment took its place. "That is a very strange problem to have. Like, my problem is that I keep trying and failing to avoid incest, but that at least makes sense given the current circumstances."
"Yeah, it's weird, ain't it?" Neo said with a nod. "Like, I don't even understand how something like that could even happen. Or what the point is. Really bizarre—"
"Hey, shut it!" Cinder barked, silencing the two girls and returning Weiss to her panicked state. Cinder grinned evilly. "Anyway, Weiss, we don't want you to worry. I'm not going to kill you. That would be wasting all of your… potential." Cinder's gaze suddenly shifted to Weiss's heart-shaped ass, and a new terror took hold of her… and a sudden spurt of confusion hit Neo.
"What… what are you going to do to me?" Weiss asked in fear.
"We're at an orgy, correct?" Cinder laughed, tugging at her collar. "It would be such a shame for me to arrive and not partake in the fruits, wouldn't you agree? Especially when I have such a beautiful piece of fruit right in front of me."
Neo raised a concerned finger. "Uh, Cinder?"
"Please, don't do this!" Weiss pleaded, but Cinder merely laughed at her misery.
"Oh, you don't even know what I'm fully planning," Cinder said dismissively.
"Don't know? You're going to rape me!"
Neo stammered nervously. "Uh, Cinder? Cindy? Cindy Mindy?"
Cinder continued, laughing maniacally. "Rape you? My dear Weiss, I'm going to do more than just that. I'm going to fucking destroy you. Me and Neo are going to grow the largest cocks you've ever seen, and then we are going to fuck every one of your orifices until you bleed. We're going to find that bitch Ruby Rose and drag her in here with the rest of your team, and make her watch as we fill you full of so much cum that it's coming out of your pores. And then, not only will I sodomize you… I'm going to impregnate you."
"Impregnate?" screamed Weiss.
"Impregnate?" screamed Winter.
"Impregnate?" screamed Neo.
"Impregnate!" screamed Cinder in delight. "I'm going to shoot my DNA deep inside of your womb until every one of your eggs is infected with my seed. I'm going to take your entire team and force them to become my sex slaves, fucking you every minute of every day as your bellies swell and your breasts lactate, and then once you give birth, I'll fuck you again and make you keep pumping out child after child until the world is populated with my spawn. And Ruby Rose? I'll cut out her goddamn silver eyes keep her there too, but never fuck her. No… I'll bind her in the corner and merely let her listen to the sound you getting fucked every day. She'll hate herself as she gets turned on by the sounds of her friends being abused, and she'll beg me to finally let her cum to the sound of me fucking you. But I'll refuse. I'll always refuse. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that miserable cunt never achieves an orgasm again. Victory—complete, total victory—will be mine at last! I will be the queen of your bodies and souls! I will be—"
Neo, having heard enough, grabbed onto Cinder's arm and started dragging her into the corner. "Okay, timeout!"
"Hey, what the—" Cinder protested as Neo planted her in the corner of the room, as Weiss stared at them scared and kind of really confused. Neo threw her arms in the air and whispered harshly.
"All right, what the fuck, girl?"
"What?"
"That was a very detailed rape fantasy!" Neo said through gritted teeth. "Like holy shit was that messed up. Seriously, that was just fucking awful."
"What is your problem?" Cinder asked disrespectfully. "This is what we've talked about."
"We haven't talked about this!" Neo said furiously. "I never agreed to sexually assault anyone, let alone enslave and impregnate them! That's beyond fucked up!"
"This has literally been the plan since we started this," Cinder stated, crossing her arms. "It's what you signed up for."
"I signed up for killing these people," Neo explained. "I thought the orgy would just add to their humiliation. I didn't know you were actually going to force yourself on them."
Cinder rolled her eyes. "Neo, darling… I'm evil. I literally murdered dozens of children at the Fall of Beacon. You've murdered dozens of children. You're going to draw the line at this?"
"Yes! That's completely different!" Neo shouted, ignoring the fact that she was supposed to keep her conversation secret from Weiss, who was only gradually becoming more perplexed. "Being a murder doesn't mean you have to automatically be cool with raping people. That's like saying that you can't be a killer without also being a racist."
"I am a racist."
Neo blinked. "What?"
Cinder looked at her strangely. "I'm… I'm racist, Neo. Insanely racist."
Neo didn't know what to make of that. "You mean like… like against Faunus or—"
"Blacks," Cinder said with a nod. "Can't stand 'em."
Neo stared at Cinder with wide, stunned eyes. "Oh."
"Yep."
"I… I did not know that."
"I hate people whose skin is darker than mine."
"But…" Neo said in disbelief. "Isn't Emerald your best friend?"
"Yes. And that's supposed to mean what exactly?"
Neo shrugged, realizing the fallacy of her argument. Having black friends didn't mean someone wasn't a racist. Obviously. Individual relationships did not preclude the possibility of thinking one group of people was inferior or advocating for policy positions that negatively affected marginalized groups of people. It was just like wanting to vote Obama for a third term? Wait, Obama? Who the fuck was Obama? Where were these references coming from? What the hell was wrong with her.
"I guess I just never knew that about you," Neo said quietly.
"Why do you think I agreed to join Salem?" Cinder noted. "She's literally the whitest person there is."
Neo gasped. "Wait, are you serious?"
Cinder smirked. "Nah, I'm just fucking with you. I joined because of the genocide."
"Oh. That makes sense."
"Yep. Still evil."
"Do you hate gay people too?"
"Yes. And I love socialized medicine."
Neo gasped. Again. "Oh no! Wait a second… socialized medicine? I'm not sure… Does that make you evil?"
"I don't know. Does it?" Cinder asked menacingly. Neo gasped again, again, understanding in full.
"Oh, I get it! You're igniting intense political discussion in a place where it doesn't belong! That's the true evil!"
"Exactly!"
"Incredible!" Neo said excitedly, though she stopped herself. "I've never seen someone so intensely dedicated to being awful!"
"Thank you, Neo," Cinder said graciously. "Now if you excuse me, I am going to complete my evil by fucking that dumb bitch and her sister until they're raw."
Cinder took a confident step forward, but Neo quickly stopped her, still upset.
"Oh, no you don't! You're not getting away that easily."
She threw herself between Weiss and Cinder, causing the latter to get even more irritated and impatient than she already was.
"Come on, Neo! You're being a massive cockblock," the Fall Maiden protested, a glimmer of fire appearing in her eyes. "My revenge must be completed."
"I'm not trying to deny you revenge," Neo grunted. "But I'm not going to be complicit in nonconsensual whore banging. That's not my style." Suddenly, a brilliant idea came over her. "Wait… what if convince her to fuck you willingly?"
Cinder's face contorted in revulsion. "Ew. That's way worse."
"No, it's way better!" Neo explained. "Picture it: Ruby walks into the room, expecting to see Weiss waiting for her like a perfect holy virgin. But instead of seeing her crying and in pain, she instead sees her in gleeful orgasm wrapped around you like a rubber band. Imagine Weiss moaning your name in ecstasy, willingly cheating on her girlfriend as she says that you are the greatest fuck she's ever had. Ruby's heart will be obliterated. Sure, you could dominate Weiss physically, but romantically? Oh, my dear Cinder, nothing is eviler than stealing the heart of someone else's love."
Cinder considered the idea for a long moment, and while she initially was disgusted by not being as evil as possible, the longer she thought about it, the more delicious the idea became. Sure, extracting tears of misery from Weiss Schnee was an absolute dream, and forcibly impregnating her and the rest of her team would certainly be a wonderfully fucked up fantasy. But having Team RWBY beg her to do those things to them, winning over their love with her wit and her charm and a huge artificial penis? Oh, that would be a delicacy that even she could not deny. She looked at Weiss with hungry eyes, and she raised a Grimm-like finger triumphantly into the air, exuding pride and evilness with every word.
"All right, then! I'll fuck her consensually!" Cinder declared. "Weiss Schnee, I will seduce you with my impeccable romantic charm, and then, you will willingly become my eager cocksleeve!"
Neo jumped into the air. "Hooray for consent!" she screamed excitedly. "Hooray for adultery!"
As Cinder and Neo celebrated the fact they were going to not commit extremely horrifying acts onto Weiss's body, however, they were forgetting that they had yet to get the actual approval of the most important person in that decision. Poor Weiss had no idea what was going to happen to her. It was just supposed to be a normal day: she would eat a bunch of strangers' pussies, then spend a romantic evening with her cute, big-tittied girlfriend as the rest of her teammates participated in a world-saving orgy of epic proportions. See? Totally normal. But now everything was flipped on its head. She had cum pouring out of her ass like a spout, and she didn't exactly hate the feel of it, and she had accidentally eaten out her own sister's pussy, and she really, really didn't hate that, which quite bothered her, and now her two mortal enemies—well, one of her mortal enemies and a girl she had met, like, once, but who had still tried to kill her—were talking about fucking her and turning her into a willing sex slave. Everything was falling apart, and she was rapidly losing control of herself. She was absolutely terrified to know what would happen next—but she wouldn't let that stop her. She had fought so hard to get to where she was. She had fought to be free of her father's control, to become a Huntress, to journey around the world and stop Salem's forces. With a sudden rush of determination flooding through her, she pushed herself up to her feet and stood on top of the bed, ready to fight back against her aggressors.
"Stop right there!" Weiss said with force, silencing Neo and Cinder. She tried to seem as intimidating as possible, even though the odds were stacked against her, and even though the cum from her asshole was now dripping down between her inner thighs. "You aren't fucking anyone!"
"Um, yes we are," Cinder stated with a grin. "I'm going to have consensual sex with you, whether you like it or not."
"Yeah," said Neo, until she suddenly realized what Cinder just said. "Wait a second… Cinder, you do understand the concept of consent, don't you?"
"Of course I do," Cinder said. "It means she has sex with me willingly. And she will, even if she doesn't want to."
Neo looked at Weiss, and Weiss looked Neo, and then Neo looked back at Cinder.
"Okay, so you said that you get it, but then what you just said implies otherwise."
"What? I get it perfectly. Have sex with her, and make her like it, and she doesn't, then make her."
"Okay, I think you're confused on this pretty basic concept."
"I'm only confused about why she hasn't agreed to have sex with me yet," Cinder said slyly.
"Because I don't want to," said Weiss.
"Oh, yes you do," Cinder countered. "You just don't."
Weiss blinked.
"That… that doesn't make any sense."
"Oh yeah?" Cinder taunted, gripping her collar with one or her hands and her stockings with the other. "Well, does this?"
With one fluid motion, Cinder pulled at her outfit, and suddenly entire ensemble flew off her body, leaving it naked and exposed like Weiss. Weiss got to take a long look at Cinder's nakedness as the evil woman basked in the freedom of nudity, and well, there was a lot to take in. It was easy to tell that Cinder's body used to be flawless once, but the damage from Ruby's silver eyes had taken its toll. There was obviously the black patch over her eye, and the Grimm arm which had extended above the elbow—but there were also wounds to the rest of her that were hidden under her clothes. Scars that scratched at her toned abs, a burn mark on her left side, wounds from blades and bullets that cut through her milky thighs and perfect breasts. The amount of torment that she had endured, not just from her battles with the Huntsmen, but from years of abuse under a monster like Salem, was visible on every inch of her skin. She was a warrior, a fiend, but more than that, a survivor.
And Weiss really, really, really hated to admit it, but even under all those scars and deformities… Cinder Fall was still pretty fucking hot.
"Uh… yeah?" said Neo, who was mostly unfazed by the nudity. "It doesn't make a lot of sense."
"Well, how about this?" Cinder asked suddenly, and without warning, she sprang onto Neo and pulled the tiny woman's pants down around her ankles. It was really a mistake for Neo to decide not to wear panties that day, but it was an orgy! How could she? Unfortunately, that meant her vagina and her small trim of pink and brown pubic hair became exposed to the Schnee sisters, and they both blushed as Cinder continued to wrestle Neo out of her clothes.
"Hey! Stop it!" Neo screamed.
"Consent! Consent! Consent!" Cinder ranted as she forcibly and nonconsensually stripped Neo bare. Soon, all of her clothing was discarded and scattered on top of the bodies of the unconscious Happy Huntresses, and Neo was left covering her breasts with one arm and her crotch with the other as she stood in front of the others in nothing but a bowler's hat.
"Christ! What is wrong with you?" Neo shouted. "And what the fuck is a Christ?"
"I'll tell you what it is," Cinder said, turning back to Weiss. "It's the sound of consenting the fuck out of Weiss Schnee!"
No longer waiting for anyone's permission, Cinder immediately lunged for the bed, beelining headfirst toward Weiss's pussy. Her victory was so close that she could taste it, and conveniently, it would taste exactly like a vagina would! Ruby Rose would finally pay!
However, just before Cinder could reach, a massive icy fist collided with her, and she was sent sailing into the nearby wall. She slammed against it hard, and she fell on top of the unconscious bodies with fury in her eyes. When she looked up, however, she saw that her attacker was not the sexy teenage Weiss, but rather the also sexy adult Winter, who returned to her feet and had summoned a massive knight of ice behind her, so massive that it could barely fit within the tiny bedroom.
"Winter!" Weiss said with surprise, and Winter jumped up onto the bed to join her sister.
"I was waiting for an opening to attack," Winter explained as Neo rushed to help Cinder to her feet. "These fools forgot that they were facing one of the best Huntresses in all of Atlas."
"I think you mean two of the best Huntresses," Weiss added with a cocky smirk. She quickly summoned a giant icy hornet, and the two sisters stood side-by-side on the bed as Neo and Cinder growled in frustration in the corner. The sisters looked at each other in pride. Yes, it was true that they were outmatched. Yes, they were vulnerable. But they were the Sisters Schnee, two master summoners and confident badasses. Working together, they could accomplish anything, and as they stared in each other's blue eyes, they realized they had a chance at winning, and they realized that they loved each other, and then Weiss realized that she totally had stains of Winter's squirt on her lips, and then she realized that Winter's face was pretty close to her, and then she realized that it would be pretty hot if she just leaned in and started making out with Winter and forced her sister to taste her own orgasm and—wait, no! Fighting Neo and Cinder! They were doing that! Yes! Only that! Nothing else dammit!
Cinder's hands erupted in a blaze of fire and Neo, though lacking any weapons, clenched her fists and readied herself for a brawl. Winter and Weiss nodded, and they prepared their summons to attack. The four of them stared each other down, waiting for the first one to strike in the cramped room filled with too many bodies to not cause collateral damage. It would be a fight for the ages—caught on film for all to see. Schnee Sisters vs Fall Maiden and criminal mastermind Neopolitan! Who would win?
Neither of them would get to find out, because just as they were about to begin brawling, Penny suddenly burst into the room, dressed in a skin-tight nurse's outfit and singing in a sunshine voice.
"Did someone order a nurse to heal their tired assholes?" she asked warmly, her eyes shut. She opened up her eyes, and then the smile suddenly disappeared from her face. She looked at Weiss, and then she looked at Winter, and then she looked at Neo and Cinder, and she looked at their naked bodies, and then they looked at her, and then they looked at each other, and then she looked at the unconscious Happy Huntresses with big throbbing penis, and then she looked back at Winter, and then Winter looked at her, and then Winter looked at Weiss, and then Cinder looked at Penny, and then Neo looked at Cinder, but Cinder kept looking at Penny, and so Neo kept looking at Cinder, and Cinder still looked at Penny, and then Neo slapped Cinder in the boob, and then Cinder looked at Neo, and then Neo looked at Winter and Weiss, and then Cinder looked at Winter and Weiss, and then Winter and Weiss looked at Cinder, and then Winter and Weiss looked at Penny and her sexy nurse's outfit, and then Penny looked again at their naked bodies, and then at Cinder and her naked body, and then at the floor, and then they all just kind of generically looked at each other.
"Um…" Penny said awkwardly. "I have a series of questions."
Weiss explained bluntly. "They all fucked me, I ate Winter's pussy, Cinder showed up, kicked their asses, wanted to rape me, was talked out it, still wants to sleep together, I said no, now we're fighting. And Neo's here too. She's the short one. You never met."
Penny paused for a moment, taking all the information in, and then nodded succinctly. "Okay."
"Wait," said Cinder, "I also have questions."
"Penny's memory core wasn't destroyed," said Weiss. "Now she's a sexbot. Winter has a nurse fetish."
"Oh," said Cinder. "That clears things up."
"Yep," said Weiss.
They all stood silently, looking at each other embarrassedly as they were naked and ready to kill each other. It was Penny who spoke first, giving a hesitant shrug.
"So… would anyone like a five-way?"
