Author's Note: Hello everyone, good to be back! Here is chapter four that features Jasper' flashback as well as Bellamy's present point of view. The story will mostly follow Clarke, but it's important to hear some of Bellamy's thoughts as he is the second main character. This chapter is a well-known song by "The Fray."
This chapter is very fast-moving - it captures 2 years worth of history for Jasper, but I hoped that I was able to keep him in character and keep the story interesting. :)
As always, I really hope you all enjoy the chapter and PLEASE LET ME KNOW through review/follow/favorite. Thank you :)
Chapter 4: How to Save a Life
Jasper's POV (Flashback):
The good old days of high school were completely behind me. Sometimes I missed smoking random things that random people gave me; but looking back on the past, I'm glad to have gone down the path of righteousness. At this point in my young life, I was almost done with the residency training that Arkadia makes us go through to become doctors. Even just five years ago, I never would have guessed to become a doctor for our community. I knew I wanted to help people, but didn't know how to apply that to a job to support myself.
My parents and I came from a very poor background, and in Arkadia socio-economic status was hard to change. The higher ups thought that lower-class citizens were too lazy, and the lower-class thought that the upper-class were too entitled. Both on the Ark and down on the ground, both with Chancellor Jaha and Pike, status was hard to change.
Even though the people of the Ark grieved for Chancellor Jaha and his son's passing, the rise of Arkadia was an exciting prospect. With Chancellor Pike, the government was ran differently – the counsel was dismembered and people were given more of a say in the politics. Yet, the class issue was still an issue that was constantly overlooked.
When I came to this revelation, I had chosen to pursue a medical career, not as a nurse, but as a doctor. This decision was originally out of spite, and as I worked my way up the ranks, I wanted to bring attention to the lower-class citizens of Arkadia. I realized doing so would take too long, so I liked to think of myself as full time doctor, and part time social justice warrior.
Personally, I liked the ring to it, but our medical trainers did not. After each prospective resident finished their official schooling, they needed to complete a residency under a training specialist. When the trainers saw me, they immediately shunned away from me; they recognized the look of a lower-class citizen and didn't feel the need to waste their time on someone who was just going to be cleaning up their messes soon. Talk about no discrimination in the work zone.
I went one month without a resident trainer, before someone finally recognized that I had potential. The person who recognized me wasn't a trainer per se, but the chief of St. Jaha's Medical Center – Abby Griffin, one of the Ark's most trusted citizens and Arkadia's most senior medical physician.
"Why me?" I had asked several times.
"Because I see you," she would say. I guess not all upper-class people were entitled.
After about six months of training in St. Jaha's emergency room, I still didn't know if I wanted to specialize in any one particular area of study. Pediatrics and taking care of children was a wonderful experience and same with cardiology and neurology. I just couldn't pick one subject that really stood out to me and I went to Abby about this:
"I don't know what to specialize in. I love taking care of both kids and adults. I love cardiology as much as neurology. I love setting bones just as much as taking samples of tissue. I just don't know what to do!" I exclaimed. This was all just so stressful.
"Well, you could stay in the ER, you know that, right?" Abby had calmly stated. "On the Ark, I was the only doctor for a very long time. Sure, I had my nurses, but they could only help so much," Abby stated her story. "I was only one person, so training other individuals to be doctors was difficult and because of the sporadic scheduling, a lot of them quit. I learned to do a lot of procedures and diagnoses by myself. Jasper, I have never met a student as willing to help others as you are. Not only are you a good person, you are a good doctor – you know how to catch and observe behaviors of the people who come in here, prescribe them medicine, and send them off to the right specialists."
She paused for a long time, so I asked, "Ma'am?"
"Stay in the ER. We need more people like you there," she stated simply.
And I couldn't agree more. The idea of being an ER doctor suddenly made my heart race and I felt excited to have this profession. This was the one point of my career where I felt like I was doing more for myself as opposed to social justice. The thought felt good. This way, I could help people who couldn't otherwise afford to be helped by a specialist.
My specialty is to help people.
I was going to tell Dr. Griffin that I wanted to formally accept her offer, but someone interrupted me at this time. "Dr. Griffin, we need you," said a man named Jackson. I believe he was mentored by Dr. Griffin as well.
"I'm a bit busy, Jackson," she said in an annoyed tone. "Can you get someone else to take care of it?"
"No, Abby. We need you," Jackson repeated once again, giving Doctor Griffin the you-should-know-what-I'm-talking-about eyes.
I gauged her reaction and her feelings of understanding finally showed through. "Oh," was all she stated. And then, "Jackson, stay here. If anyone asks where I am, tell them I am doing paperwork."
"I know the drill," said Jackson, like this had been rehearsed before.
"Jasper," she turned to my stunned looking face. "I need you to come with me but you need to not say anything to anyone, okay?" she said to me.
I just nodded my head and followed her out of her office door. We grabbed a basic first-aid kit from one of the supply closets and started heading down the flights of stairs to the first floor. However, we passed the door to the first floor and continued on our trek. "You have to promise that you will not tell anyone what I'm about to show you," Abby stated.
I thought this over in my head, debating if I should trust her and myself to keep whatever was going on between us. On instinct, "I promise, Dr. Griffin."
We walked into a closed off room. It was set up like the Emergency Room was but with significantly less technology and supplies. It was occupied by only one person; I didn't know who this person was but I could clearly see the tattoos and tanned skin of a Grounder woman. "What is she doing here?" I said with concern in my voice. After all, the Grounders were responsible for the death of the Jaha Family.
"C'mon, you need to help me with this," said Dr. Griffin.
"What? I'm not going to help with anything until you tell me what's going on!" I screamed. I felt bad for yelling at my mentor, but I couldn't imagine myself helping people that have killed so many others.
Abby looked conflicted between helping the patient immediately and telling me the truth. "We help those in need. Even Grounders," she stated while walking over to the patient. "Hey, hon. How are you doing? My name is Dr. Griffin, but you can just call me Abby. Can you tell me where it hurts?" she said in a kind bed-side manner.
"M-my leg… and my stomach," she timidly said.
At that, I could see Abby slowly moving her hands toward her leg first. Slowly but surely, I inched my way towards Abby and the unknown girl. Her dark eyes were calm, but there was a slight tremble to her whole body. She was probably scared shitless to be around us.
"Hi," I said coming up on the side of the bed that Abby wasn't on. "My name is Jasper, what is yours?"
"Luna," the girl stated simply.
"Can you tell us what happened?" I asked her as Abby put pressure on different areas of Luna's leg. One particular area made her jump back in pain and squeeze her eyes shut. I grabbed her hand for comfort.
"Hairline fracture on the fibula," Abby muttered.
"I was walking through forests I was not familiar with. There was a root I tripped over, and I fell into a rock," she stated as Abby moved onto the next of her injuries.
"Luna, we need you to let us lift your shirt up," Abby stated.
Luna looked to me a bit worriedly. I could tell she was uncomfortable with me seeing her body, so I turned around to face the other direction. My hand was still wrapped around her fingers and the only indication she gave when in pain was her tightening grip.
"Minimal bruising on her ribs. No fractures," Dr. Griffin stated. "Jasper, check the first-aid kit, see if we can't give her a few pain killers for the next couple of days."
I let go of Luna's hand to reach for the first-aid kit. "All we have is some Motrin and Ibuprofen," I said. I wish we could give this woman more, but they would still be of some help.
"The best we can spare is a few pills to manage the pain and…." Abby searched behind her. "And crutch for your leg." I could tell even Abby was disappointed with the limited resources we were offering, but Luna looked grateful as is.
"Thank you Abby and Jasper of Skaikru," Luna simply stated. "You are both good people."
After that experience, Abby told me that only her and Jackson knew about the medical treatment of the Grounders and asked if I wanted to add that as a responsibility of mine. "You trust me enough for that?" I asked a bit skeptically.
"Jasper, I would trust you with my family's life if the opportunity presented itself."
For the next year, I continued doing my usual work in the ER, while occasionally assisting Dr. Griffin or Dr. Jackson with Grounder patients. One day, I thought to myself, how could I ever hate such a calm people? I learned so much with them: how to communicate without speaking English, bedside manner, helping others with minimal equipment, and so much more.
Unfortunately, this was also during a time of great stress put on everyone. Tensions among camp were high; this medical center put priority of injury above all, but Pike's officers took advantage of their positions and used their status to get bandaged up before the common folk. Resentfully, Abby let it happen and we served them as such, but we were never happy about it. Neither were the many other patients who needed to wait "x" amount of hours because of the idiocy and entitlement of Pike's men.
The social justice warrior in me came out more and more every day as I continued aiding our people as well as the peaceful Grounders who we found before they did. I liked helping the people who deserved my help opposed to those who did not deserve my priority. Within time, I networked with people who felt the same way, and together we got more and more people to agree with us. Because she was the chief of the medical center, Dr. Griffin could not openly agree with us, but I could see her smiling on the sidelines nonetheless.
My group got so big that we held hospital-wide strikes, refusing to treat Pike's officers until everyone else before them was helped. Some of the officers – the kind ones – were okay with this arrangement and secretly gave us their support. However, the other ill-minded officers were nothing short of pissed at us when we refused to serve them first.
Later down the road, we held strikes to not aid the officers at all until the end of the work day. And then we held strikes to refuse to service them at all for the backlash we constantly received from them.
People should really be nicer to those who can keep them from dying.
Chancellor Pike tried to get involved and contact Abby. He told her to make us stop and she would relay to us what he said, but this was out of her control. She fully knew this, claiming to Pike that we were a forced to be reckoned with.
One day, Abby Griffin did not come into work. Working under her for the past two years, I learned that she never skipped a day of work – if the day was a holiday, she would come in. If it was her daughter's birthday, she would still come in. So, when Dr. Griffin did not report to work, I knew first hand that something was wrong.
"You've got to see this," said Jackson only a mere hour later. "This was broadcasted two hours ago."
He showed me a video posted to our emergency broadcast channel, "Whoa," I stated. "Is that Mr. Griffin?" This was all so confusing.
The video was a mere two minutes if that in which he explained to all of Arkadia that the Progressives, once used to service us, were modified by Chancellor Pike to enslave us and other Grounder nations should that course of action be needed. His video was a call to action to rise above and overthrow Pike without speaking those treasonous words.
This was the opportunity I was looking for, but I realistically thought about the fact that Chancellor Pike had strength in numbers, both with his robots and with his loyal officers.
Next up on the emergency broadcast was a picture of Abby's daughter, Clarke. I had never met her, but they shared similar features. "There is a warrant out for Clarke Griffin's arrest. If you know any of her whereabouts, alert the authorities immediately. She is to be taken into custody on the act of treason and anyone who withholds information of her whereabouts will be tried as accessory to treason," the monotone broadcaster alerted. Guess I know why Abby didn't make it into work this morning.
Still, life resumed and we did our jobs. Alerts about Clarke Griffin continued and neither Abby nor Jake Griffin were reachable. Some of my coworkers even said that the Griffins were being placed under house arrest by the Progressives.
That didn't stop our strikes though; if anything, the recent news only increased our want to not serve Pike's officers. Doctors are supposed to be level-headed, but I was angry. I had never been so angry in my life at our retched government. Something needed to change and something needed to change now.
It was another three months before we received more bad news.
"Guys," one of the female residents rushed toward Jackson and I. "We have a problem."
"What's going on?" I said immediately. Somehow, I knew that this news would be worse than anything having to do with the Griffin scandal.
"Rumor has it that Pike's men are going around and beating and killing all of the doctors involved in the strikes that have been going on," she said hurriedly.
"What?" I asked, full well knowing what she was saying. "Three of my ER residents didn't come in to work today, no previous word of it…" I mumbled more to myself than the little group we were in.
"They're aiming for people who were leaders of the strike…" she continued on. "Jasper, that includes you too. You have to leave. Get out of here, now!"
Before, I had never had to ask for time off to leave work early, but now it was unavoidable as I took off my lab coat and simply walked out of our breakroom door. "Be cool Jasper, just be cool," I said to myself while walking towards an exit of our camp. I can do this, just stay calm.
After taking care of so many Grounders with Abby, she showed me a secret exit to get out of camp without any guards seeing. Being distracted with trying to stay out of the limelight, I didn't even see that there were guards who recognized me coming my way. I had passed them, but now they were clearly following me.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What now? I tried to keep my head down, but I was breathing harder than ever – it almost felt like I was hyperventilating. If you run, you're committing a felony, if you don't run, you get beaten to death. But you've grown up here, you don't know what's out there! If you go out there, you might just die from getting beaten or slaughtered out there! My inner monologue was of absolutely no help today as my mind raced to catch up with my thoughts. Now or never, Jasper.
I took one last deep breath and began to run as fast as I could carry myself. "Hey! Stop there!" I could hear the guards screaming at me. I reluctantly made my way towards the intended exit and flawlessly slipped through the fence of Arkadia. They're probably gonna patch that up now, dammit. I wished so badly I could apologize to Jackson and Abby for that, but who knows when and if that would ever happen?
I made my way towards the forest surrounding Arkadia and dashed through the thick trees. There were no hunting traps on this side of the camp, but I remained cautious of the overgrown roots and thorn bushes that lined the ways.
I ran and I ran, and I ran some more. I was so unaware of the amount I could run and very impressed with myself! In my reverie and sheer tiredness of running for what felt like hours, I was not paying attention to my surroundings and almost ran into a sharp tree branch. My body missed it, but the swing in my left arm did not. I could feel the penetration of my skin and the blood that began to run down my forearm.
Don't stop, not now!
I kept going further and further into the woods until nightfall.
You're a god damn doctor, you should know better to treat that wound right now!
It was midday when I began my trek, and it was nearing dusk now. Hopefully, this would be a good stopping point for the day. At this point, I was able to get a better look at it and could see that the cut ran all the way from wrist to forearm. Some of it was already closed up, but the part of the wound that wasn't closed up needed sutures or cauterizing. I didn't have the tools to preform either of the procedures. Right now, I just needed sleep. I could practically hear the sweet embrace of sleep calling to me.
There was a fair chance that if I slept now, I would not wake up, but the more tired part of me was willing to take that sacrifice.
Just as I was about to lose all of my senses, I could hear multiple crunching leaves. This was either the sound of an animal coming to eat me or a human coming to probably kill me. I was already dying of blood loss if I couldn't suture myself, so if someone or something was simply coming to make the ride to death that much easier, I would let it happen at this point. "Help," I hoped I was loud enough to hear. "Help," I tried again. My voice was ragged from lack of water and the beginning stages of dehydration. "Somebody, please… help."
The crunching leaves became sporadic; when I wasn't talking, they started up, but they stopped whenever I did say something. It could simply be a bear. I was going to call out once more, but was stopped by a gravely female voice, "Oh God Bellamy… Help me over here!" she nearly screamed. "Hey, hey," she said in a softer tone. "Hey, I'm here. I can help you, don't give up. What's your name?" she frantically asked.
I opened my eyes a crack and saw the look of worry on her face. She was a very pretty woman; even covered in dirt and grime, I could make out the pale white face and straight blonde hair. I know I couldn't see her well because of the twilight but I was able to search out a sense of helpfulness in her features. "Jasper, Jasper Jordan," I said.
"It's nice to meet you Jasper, can you tell me why you're here?" she asked as her traveling companion finally made his way over to us. In comparison to her, he was tall and tan, with very dark curly hair – he was this woman's opposite.
"I need water and sutures for my arm or else it'll need to be cauterized," even though I was exhausted, I still went into my doctor mode. "I'm a doctor, I can walk you through this."
"We need to get him back to camp," the woman said.
"We can't, he'll know where we're at. What if he was sent out here to scout us?" the man with obvious trust issues said.
"Bellamy," the woman looked back to him with firmness in her voice. "We have to help him."
Bellamy POV (Present):
We were able to make camp on the side of one of the mountains. I would've liked to be higher up, but Clarke was my main priority right now. Carrying her through the thick brush as Ben lead the way, only one thing ran through my mind: How could I miss all of the signs?
I had known this woman for several years now. She started out as my sister's best friend, but we became inseparable since then. If I was being cheesy, she was the Yin to my Yang. In our little group, we had spats everyday about who should be leading what. I had control issues and she had control issues; but when one of us was not feeling up to the task, the other would pick up the slack. In this case, I was willing to pick up the slack, but I should've asked or blatantly known why.
She was acting so strange when she came back with Monty, how could I not catch this?
Currently, Jasper and I were in a tent with Clarke's unconscious body. As far as I knew, Octavia, Monty and Ben were reluctantly waiting outside.
Even when I had to let go of Clarke's cold body, I still held onto her hand, hoping that she would grasp it. I need you, Clarke. Please wake up. I just wanted my princess to sass me about holding her hand too tight or being too much in her body space, but nothing. Jasper was just finishing up stitching Clarke's side when he said, "Her wound is clean, but I can't determine if an infection will set in. We just need to make sure we change the bandages if bloods seeps through," Jasper felt the top of her forehead. "She has a slight fever… could be sign of an infection. We need to keep that fever down as much as possible until it breaks, okay? Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Truthfully, I wasn't listening too much until he demanded my attention. I just looked at him and stared daggers into his face.
"Don't give me that look, Blake," Jasper said. "What I'm telling you is for Clarke, so pay attention and keep her fever down until it breaks. Do you want her to risk infection?" Jasper sure did know how to put me in my place in this moment. He must've been taking lessons from Clarke.
"I'm sorry, Jasper," I said in a solemn tone.
"It's okay dude," Jasper reassured. "I know you care for Clarke, we all see the way you look at her."
"How do I look at her?" I inquired. I didn't even realize that I was looking at her.
"You look at her as if… as if she's the most important person in the room – hell, even the only person in the room. You love her, don't you?" Jasper pressed on. I did not answer him at first. So, he continued with, "Bellamy loves Clarke, Bellamy loves Clarke," in a sing-song voice.
"Yes," I simply stated, ruining his humorous mood. "I do. So much," I said with vehemence in my voice. "Just don't tell anyone yet."
"Well, tell her at least," Jasper said. I hated him for knowing my secret, but couldn't help my mind from praising his wise advice. I also received no verbal confirmation with whether or not he would keep my secret.
I didn't want to talk about this right now, so instead I went with, "So you and my sister?"
At this, he lost some of his previous confidence. "Uhh… Well, I was going to talk to you about it. Ummm," Jasper fidgeted. It was amazing to see how such a collected doctor could become a hot mess of a person in mere seconds.
I laughed for only a second, but decided to end his suffering. "It's okay…" I didn't want anyone dating my sister, but if it had to be Jasper, then I supposed it would be okay. "Just… don't break Octavia's heart… or else."
My menacing tone made Jasper visibly gulp. He has seen what I can do with my bare hands to the Progressives, and it wouldn't be that hard to hurt him either. "Or else… dually noted."
After he regained himself, he said, "Would you like to stay with Clarke?"
As if he needed asking. "Yes, just tell me what I need to do."
"Let me know if she wakes up, otherwise I will be back in the morning to change her bandage. Keep her fever down and try to keep her either on her back or the side that isn't wounded," Jasper stated, back in his doctor mode.
"Thank you," I said sincerely, not just for letting me know what she needed, letting me stay, stitching her up in the first place, making Octavia happy, coming into our lives, being our doctor, etc.. This man deserved my thanks on many occasions, and he knew that. I hoped this one praise would hold him over for a while though.
That night, I barely slept a wink. I wanted to be awake when Clarke woke up and I wanted to make sure that her fever didn't burn her up too much.
At one point in the night, she began sweating. The sleeping bag was barely covering her, but she was still sweating. I knew what was coming and could hopefully tell that her fever was breaking – she wouldn't get an infection after all! To help the process, I wiped the sweaty hair out of her beautiful face. Her eyebrows were scrunched and her plump lips were slightly parted, but she was still the most graceful creature I had ever seen in my life.
My original plan was to swaddle her in the sleeping bag, but how much would that help? I was conflicted in doing so, but I sat up straight and removed my shirt. "God, I hope she doesn't fucking murder me when she's able to," I muttered to myself.
Clarke was currently rested on her back, and I was able to maneuver the both of us so that she could remain on her back and I could climb in next to her. When we were nice and situated, I threw an arm across her body and tucked her into my front. "C'mon Princess, just relax for me," I muttered.
Throughout the night, we stayed relatively in that same position. Just before dawn started to break over the horizon, I could feel her body finally relax into mine and knew that her fever had broken. "Thank you Clarke," I said and longingly kissed the top of her head.
Knowing that her fever was under control, I began to drift off myself. It was so easy to fall asleep with Clarke in my arms. The last time I held her throughout the night was after Finn Collins had cheated on her and she needed a comforting touch. Sure, I could've left her on the couch or in Octavia's room for the rest of the night and went to my own bed, but I stayed with her throughout it all. I did it back then and I was planning on doing it now. She needed me in this moment. I would be there for my princess.
The next time I woke up, it was to the comforting touch of Clarke's slender fingers rubbing into my forearm. The touch itself sent shivers down my spine and I tightened my grip around her top half. Five minutes passed, and I was going to remove my arm from around her. I could be both hurting her and creeping her out right now. When I went to do so, she grabbed my forearm and said in a husky voice, "Please, just for a few more minutes."
I could sense the worry in her voice, as if my embrace held all of her emotions together in this moment in time. "Anything for you, Princess." Absolutely anything.
She continued to stroke my forearm as I cuddled her side. Eventually, she laid her head down against my chest, reciprocating the same comfort I had given to her. Even though there was imminent danger that awaited us, we basked in the moment of giving and receiving comfort long overdue.
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