WARNING: EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT BETWEEN TWO MALES!
Chapter 13
Dean found himself getting lost into those perfect eyes, feeling just how much he really was loved. The feeling started to become overwhelming and the sudden urge to run from it pushed forward. It didn't feel wrong, the way Cas was looking at him was so right, as though this was where he was suppose to be all along.
Cas brushed the back of his hand down his cheek, the gentle touch, soothing and caring, making his breath hitch. With a feather light touch, Cas pushed his t-shirt up and over his head, discarding it behind him somewhere. Dean didn't care, all that mattered was how this angel was looking at him, how he was making him feel. A warm feeling exploded in his chest and he found himself leaning forwards, catching Cas's soft, pink lips with his own.
Cas hummed, closing his eyes in pleasure. He knew he should close his own eyes, knew he should revel in his own pleasure at the contact, but he couldn't, he was too mesmerised by Cas's reaction. Cas was the one to break away first, a small, shy smile playing at his lips. Slowly, cautiously, he bent his head, placing his mouth into the crook of Dean's neck, sucking gently while he ran his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean threw his head back, allowing him to gain better access as goosebumps travelled at an alarming rate across his heated skin. A shiver tore through him and he moaned with the pleasure of it. He'd never once been on the receiving end like this, never once had he ever felt this way during a sexual moment. This feeling was just so…. Euphoric.
He stumbled backwards as Cas started pushing him further towards the bed. He'd expected the panic to set in again, like last time, but it never came. He was enjoying this too much. He was enjoying the feel of Cas caressing him with his mouth.
The back of his legs hit the bed and Cas gripped his back to stop him from falling backwards. Cas lifted his head and placed another kiss on his lips. How did he know to make him feel so good? Dean hummed into those perfect, plump lips as he felt one of Cas's warm hands grope at the button on his jeans, and this sudden need overcame him.
He pulled back, his eyes wide and his heart hammering hard. He tried to slow his breaths, tried to regain his thoughts. "Cas, wait."
Cas froze, his eyes catching his. The look there completely took Dean's breath away, and not in a good way. His chest started to ache at the panic he saw written upon Cas's features. "Dean?" He knew what Cas was asking. He knew what Cas needed to hear.
Dean brought his hands up to cup the angel's face. "I love you," he whispered. He needed to say it, needed Cas to know that he really does. He watched as Cas's eyes widened for a moment before filling with pure happiness, a crooked smile on his lips. In answer he placed his lips on Dean's again and continued with the button on his jeans. It was a closed mouth kissed, with a slight pressure and Dean groaned deep in his throat with the feeling of it.
Once his button was undone, Cas pulled back. Crouching down, his eyes not leaving Dean's, his fingers gripped the waist band of both the jeans and boxers and started to slide them slowly down his legs. Dean held his breath. This was the moment, this was the moment where they crossed that invisible line. He was slightly shocked by how much he was okay with that. He watched his cock spring free from its tight prison, the cool air hitting it full force. His eyes snapped back to Cas's, but he was now looking at his leaking erection. His tongue darted out and licked his lips. When Cas looked back up, his eyes had darkened with lust making Dean's cock twitch with anticipation. "Sit, Dean."
Dean did. No hesitation. No panic. Nothing but arousal and love filling him to the brim, making his heart bounce with need. Cas very carefully pulled his clothing from his body and tossed them away He was now completely naked, completely vulnerable, completely exposed. Cas stood and stripped himself, so very slowly of his own clothes. Dean watched with fascination as the angels own cock sprung free, his mouth dried up and his hands twitched, he wanted to touch it. Perhaps he should have been shocked by wanting such a thing, but he really wasn't. Cas gripped his shoulders, his intent to push him down was evident, but Dean didn't want that, not yet. Without thinking it through properly, without thinking about what he was doing, he gripped Cas's hard cock in his fist. He heard the hiss leave Cas's mouth, and Dean locked his eyes to those blue ones again. The angels eyes were wide, his mouth parted.
Slowly, he started to move his hand up and down the shaft, his thumb swiping across the head, feeling the slickness of the pre-cum. Dean thought he would have been horrified by the thought of holding another man's penis, but he wasn't. He was enjoying watching Cas come apart at the seams. He enjoyed watching his head tilt back. He enjoyed watching his eyes roll into the back of his head. He enjoyed hearing those small little moans of pleasure. And it was all because of Dean.
Dean stated to move his hand a little faster and Cas snapped his head back up, the hunger radiated off of him now and Dean gulped. "Dean, that feels so good." His voice was thick with arousal.
But Dean stopped. He didn't want Cas to come like that. He didn't want it to end there. Cas looked at him with confusion, the panic came to his eyes again and Dean gulped past the lump in his throat. Had he really done him that much damage? It was going to take a long time for Cas to stop thinking he was going to run every time he pulled away.
He knew what he had to do. He hoped he could do it. But he had to show Cas that he was in this completely, that he didn't want to run no more. Ever so slowly he moved up the bed, his eyes said everything they needed to and it only took Cas a moment to understand what Dean meant. He crawled up and over him, his lips finding Dean's again.
He could do this. He could do this for Cas, for him, for them. He gripped Cas's bare shoulders and pulled back. "I… I need you." Cas tilted his head in confusion. Dean coughed nervously. He didn't want to say it. So instead he grabbed the angels cock in his fist again. Cas groaned with the pleasure of it. Dean smiled and spread his legs, placing the cock at the hole. As Dean pressed it hard, he felt the burning pain already. He tried to distract himself from the pain by kissing Cas again, but Cas pulled back, his eyes wide with shock.
"Dean, are you-" Dean nodded. Yes he was sure. He needed it and he needed it now. His heart dropped when Cas pulled away, releasing his cock from Dean's grip. He smiled lovingly down at Dean. "Okay, have you got anything?"
Dean felt his heart lift at those words. He wasn't pulling away, he wasn't changing his mind. He pointed to the night stand, and Cas immediately reached over to it. For a moment the only sound was Cas searching through the draw, but Dean could have sworn he could his own heart beating. Was he really going to do this? Before a few weeks ago, he'd never even entertained the idea of having sex with another man. Now here he was opening his legs for not just any man, but his best friend. Before the panic started to settle in, Cas was back, lube in hand. Dean closed his eyes. He could do this. He could definitely do this. A cold sensation pricked at his hole and Dean snapped his eyes back open. There was a small pressure there and Dean knew it was Cas's finger. Dean sucked in a sharp breath.
"Are you sure, Dean?" Was he? Was he sure? Before he could comprehend what he was doing, he was nodding. That same finger breached his hole, entering him ever so slowly. Dean couldn't breath as he felt a slight sting. Once Cas's finger was completely in him, he held still. "Breath, Dean."
And Dean did. He felt his muscles relax. Fuck, he had a finger up his ass. He couldn't wrap his head around it. Then Cas pulled it almost all the way out and the pressure was gone for a moment, but not for long as Cas pushed it back in. Dean gasped at the sensation. His cock twitched.
Cas pulled his finger out again, then pushed it back in, his pace picking up. Dean moaned, rolling his head. This wasn't that bad. It actually felt kind of nice. But he knew it was only going to get worse or better from here. "Ready for another one?" Dean nodded. He felt another finger prod at his hole. When it pushed past the tight ring of muscles, Dean gasped with pleasure. There was no burning this time, just pure pleasure. His eyes locked with Cas's. Cas was looking at him with awe. It was so intense that Dean couldn't look away. He felt the fingers pumping him, the speed quickening, hitting something delicious inside him.
"Fuck, Cas..." Cas smiled, his other hand reaching to his Dean's cock, pumping it in time with his fingers. "Cas, shit. That's so good." His skin tingled, his heart hammered, his mouth dry, his breaths coming in short bursts. This felt so amazing, better than anything he'd ever felt before. Why had he been so apprehensive about this? It didn't seem to make sense any more.
"I'm going to add one more." Cas's gruff voice sent a thrill through him. He felt another finger push at him. This time he felt the burning, but he forced himself to relax. He was desperate for the pleasure again. Once the finger was completely encased by his hole, Cas started to push them in and out again. Dean's hips bucked as they hit his prostate, pure pleasure made his stomach wrap up in knots.
"Cas, don't stop… Fuck." Cas sped up and Dean started to push his hips against those talented fingers, needing more, needing so much more.
Then he was left feeling empty, so very empty. He watched as Cas slicked up his cock. Panic started to set in again, but he pushed it down. He could do this. What they had just done felt so good, he knew this would as well… eventually.
He watched as Cas crawled up and over his body. Their faces only inches apart now, their breaths mingling into one. Dean licked his lower lip, making Cas moan, leaning down and placing his soft lips against his. Dean hummed. "Are you sure, Dean?" Pure love exploded within him. Cas was giving him one last chance to back out, and as Dean gazed into those bright eyes, he saw understanding. Cas would understand.
But he didn't want to stop. He wanted this so badly, he needed this. "I'm.. I'm sure."
Cas offered him a small smile and then he felt a something prodding at his entrance. He held his breath in, waiting for that breach of no return. Cas reached up and stroked Dean's flustered cheek again. "Breath." That one word sent thrills shooting through his stomach, sending a huge breath out in a rush.
Cas pushed the tip of his cock past the muscles and Dean instantly felt that burn. It made him want to retreat, to push away. This was way worse than Cas's fingers. He closed his eyes, trying hard to concentrate on relaxing his muscles, trying hard to stay still. He gripped the angels shoulders, digging his nails into his smooth skin, trying to ground himself. Cas held still, waiting patiently, waiting for Dean to give his approval of more. Suddenly he didn't know if he could do this. He opened his eyes, needing to tell Cas that, but when he caught Cas's gaze, he knew he couldn't back out now. Cas was looking as though it took everything in him to hold still, to wait. If Cas could hold back like that, then he could do this.
He took a few steadying breaths, feeling the burn lessen slightly. He knew it wouldn't completely go, not yet. He nodded. Cas pushed in that little bit further. More burning. Dean couldn't take it any more. He didn't want slow and careful. He needed him now, needed to feel the angel's cock fill him. He wanted to ride him, bring them both to explosion. So what if it hurt? Maybe it would be like a band-aid, fast is best.
He reached up, his head leaving the pillow, placing a hungry kiss on Cas's lips, his tongue slipping inside. Cas gasped in surprise. Then he pushed against Cas's shoulders, rolling them over so that Dean was on top. Cas pulled back, shock and lust filling his eyes. Dean smirked. In one movement he sunk down onto his cock. His mouth fell open at the burn, his insides were on fire. He closed his eyes against it, swallowing thickly. Cas moaned in pleasure and that was enough to snap his eyes open again. He held still, hoping that this feeling would disappear soon. Cas gripped his hips and Dean knew that he was trying to keep a hold of his restraint.
A few minuets later and the burning dulled to an ache. Dean rose up till the cock's tip was just inside his hole, and then he sunk back down, filling himself back up. The pleasure overtook the burn and he groaned, so did Cas.
He rose again, slowly, and then suck back down, his hips rolling. He caught his angels eyes. They were so full of pleasure and hunger, Dean couldn't hold back any more. He picked up the speed, the huge cock touching that pleasurable spot deep inside him. He leant down and kissed Cas again.
When he leant back up, he pulled Cas with him, their hips now joined, that cock sitting deep inside him. He started rocking his hips, his breaths coming fast, his moans mixing with Cas's as he felt Cas wrap his arms around his back, feeling him. He leant his forehead against Cas's, their eyes locking.
Never had he felt anything like this before, and not just the pleasure, but the connection. He'd never felt this type of connection with anyone. He started moving faster. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge. He hadn't even been touched properly yet, and he didn't think he needed to.
He tried to hold of his climax, not wanting this amazing moment to end. He rocked faster and faster against Cas's hips. "Dean, I'm so close."
Those few little words sent a shiver through Dean. He was bringing his angel to the end, he was doing this to him, making him fall apart. "Come for me, Cas."
A few more rocks and he felt the explosion deep within him as Cas screamed his name in ecstasy. A few more rolls of his hips and he was squirting his own come between them, it hitting both their chests. "Fuck, Cas," he screamed, his eyes never leaving the angels. He slowed his movements as his body shook from the aftershocks. He closed his eyes and kissed Cas again.
That had felt so amazing, so right. Cas fell back against the bed, bringing Dean with him. Dean could feel his own release squelching between them but he didn't care. He felt so content, so loved in that moment, he didn't want it to end, didn't want to break it, didn't want the reality to come crashing around them.
He could feel Cas's chest rising and falling and he was trying to get his breathing under control. He loved how he'd done this to him, loved how it was all him and nothing else. He looked down at the man he was so in love with and kissed him with just as much passion and hunger he'd felt before. This feeling was never going to go away, he knew that now.
Cas rolled them over. Dean felt Cas's cock slip wetly from his gaping hole and he moaned at the loss of it. It felt so right having it fill him like that, and now he just felt empty. As Dean lay on his side staring at him, he wanted to say something anything. But what? What did you say after something like that? Cas watched him with guarded eyes, scared eyes. Dean gulped past the lump in his throat again. Cas was scared he was going to freak out. The ache in his chest returned. This is what he'd done to him. He'd made him guard his feelings, made him terrified that he was going to run.
He cupped Cas's face in both hands, determination filling his eyes. "I'm so, so, sorry." Cas's eyes filled with a mixture of panic and confusion. Dean needed to clarify what he was trying to say. "I'm sorry for hurting you so much."
Cas's eyes softened at his words. "Dean-"
"No. I was a shitty person. You deserve so much better than me, but… but I'm too selfish. I can't give you up." Tears welled in his eyes as the truth poured past his lips. He placed a kiss on Cas's again, this time a short, sweet, loving one. Cas hummed.
When they broke apart, Cas gripped his hands while they still cupped his face. "You deserve everything, Dean."
Dean smiled, happiness filling him, a warmth spreading across his body. Cas truly believed that. "I love you." He would never get tired of saying those words. He will make it his mission to tell the angel every chance he got.
Cas smiled and kissed him. "I love you so, so much, Dean."
A knock sounded at the door, breaking whatever spell they were under, sending reality crashing in around them. Dean jerked in surprise, panic filling him up, making him want to run. But he forced himself to stay put. The look Cas was sending him making him want to stay, making him not want to run. He was pleading with him.
"Dean?" Sam's voice sounded muffled.
He had to lick his lips before answering. "Yeah?"
"I think I found us a hunt." Dean rolled his eyes. He didn't want to leave this bed, didn't want to leave Cas. But duty calls.
"Be out in a minute." Before the last word was out of his mouth, Cas was pulling away, moving out of his embrace. He didn't want him to leave.
Cas looked at him with so much love and understanding it hurt. "It's okay, Dean. Go. We'll just have to resume this when you get back."
"Come with us?" He didn't know what made him ask that, didn't know what possessed him. But as soon as the words had mixed with the air, he knew he didn't want it any other way.
A sad look passed over Cas's face and Dean felt a tight fist grip his heart. "I would love nothing more, Dean, but I must ensure all the angels are okay, especially after Naomi. There will be too much chaos."
Of course. This didn't mean anything. They still had their own responsibilities. So of course Cas had to leave. Cas was leaving. For how long? Would it be days or weeks before he saw him again? He felt the pain reach inside him and twist painfully.
He swallowed thickly, ignoring it. Putting his walls back up. Cas couldn't stay. Cas would never be able to stay. This was never going to work. Dean nodded his understanding, slowly shutting himself off from the pain that was threatening to swallow him whole. He rolled over and climbed out of bed, reaching for his boxers.
"Dean?" That voice sent a thrill through him again, but this just angered him. He didn't want to feel this way no more. He didn't want to feel that pleasure, this love, not if it meant he'd have to keep saying goodbye. He didn't think his heart could take it.
"Just go, Cas." He rushed out of the room, heading towards the shower room, not allowing Cas to answer.
He showered slowly, not wanting to return to that room, fearing that he'd still be there. But when he entered his room, towel slung around his hip, and he found the room empty, he found his heart droop with the amount of pain it now held. He hadn't feared that he'd still be there, he'd feared that he'd leave.
He glanced around the room. There was no sign that he'd ever been there and the emptiness engulfed him.
Dean knew. After putting his heart on the line, after the most amazing sex he'd ever had, after feeling that connection, tears sprung to his eyes, falling down his cheeks because he knew.
This was never going to work.
-SUPERNATURAL-
