Author's Note: Hey guys, I'm back again! Already had a good portion of this chapter figured out for a couple months ago, but had no idea how to end it. Well, I figured it out and I hope the ending leaves you guys wanting more. As always, please feel free to drop a review/follow/favorite or PM me if you have a question or comment you want to bring up to me. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: If You Only Knew
Clarke POV: (Present:)
"We got a couple rooms open that share the same floor, surprisingly enough," Raven commented a few minutes later, rummaging through paperwork.
"How is that surprising?" asked Ben warily.
"Well," Raven said as she started grabbing a few keys. "This is the most comfortable and affordable rest area between a lot of Grounder villages and Polis. We get a lot of traders here. Some of them don't leave and prefer to make their sales here, which is fine. Gets us more business. They usually set up shop in our main courtyard."
"Oh," I said. I had totally forgotten about money. Considering we had been taking hand-outs from strangers for weeks upon weeks now. "How much will we owe you?" I asked.
Raven looked to me with a slight smirk on her lips and said, "Since your mom practically saved my life? Consider your rooms and food paid."
Raven and I looked to each other and her smirk turned to a more genuine smile. My own stoic features relaxed into a slight grin of my own.
I looked to Bellamy then, and my grin turned into more of a smile, silently telling him that we could trust her. His eyes held the slightest bit of skepticism in them, but he trusted me. I know he trusted me.
"So what is Polis anyway?" Bellamy asked. It was a question that had been nagging me as well.
Raven looked taken aback for a moment, not realizing just how sheltered we were within the walls of Arkadia. "Polis would be the Grounder capitol. It's basically the largest city of Grounders, aside from Ice Nation." Now the brutal warriors of Ice Nation, I had heard about. If people of Polis were anything like those from Ice Nation, then I hoped that we would not run into any of its people.
As we all walked down hallways and traveled up a few flights of stairs – Raven begrudgingly doing so with her braced leg – we had arrived at a couple sets of rooms. If the rooms were as elegant as the hallways were, my group was surely in for a treat.
"Six rooms available and here are your keys," Raven started passing random keys out to everyone. "We have warm water so shower up, and dinner will be served behind the foyer at about seven tonight. Until then, relax and explore."
When Raven was going to hand Octavia a key, she politely declined and looked to Jasper knowingly. I pretty much had to restrain Bellamy from marching right over to his sister and gluing the key to her hand. I could see his resistance against Octavia and Jasper sleeping in the same room. He was reluctant to let them share a tent the few times they had. But, you couldn't really lock the tents and have it be soundproof. Plus, there were no plushy mattresses in tents.
When Bellamy finally took his key from Raven, he gave her one of the meanest looks I've ever seen. I had to give Raven props for not backing down with her customer-service smile. "Go," I said to Bellamy and nudged him in the direction of his room, which just so happened to be on the opposite side of Octavia and Jasper's room. I could hear a clearly annoyed sigh escape Octavia and saw Bellamy scrunch up his face in a 'What'cha gonna do now?' way. A little bubble of laughter rose in my chest and escaped after they both nearly slammed their doors in equal parts frustration and arrogance. All the while, I stayed behind with Raven.
"Is he always like that?" she asked, letting her polite smile drop into an annoyed sneer. She wasn't the first person to give Bellamy that same look, and surely wouldn't be the last.
"Not usually," I said to her. "The other girl, Octavia, is his sister," I pointed out and something in Raven's eyes seemed to click with clarity.
"Ah, and I take it that the goofy looking kid with the goggles is her boyfriend?" she asked knowingly while tightening her ponytail and its braid.
I nodded slightly and laughed at my group's awkward situation. She soon joined along in the giggles. I had only known Raven for a few minutes, but I could already tell that she was going to be a good friend. "Thank you… for this," I said.
"It's no problem. Truth be told, even if your mom hadn't helped me out all those years ago, I still would've done this for you," Raven said sincerely. "You're all over Arkadia's news alerts. Pike wants you arrested for treason for what your father did. He wants you arrested because he thinks you're going to rally up some type of rebellion."
I looked at her and widened my eyes in a 'yeah, so what?' fashion.
"So… are you?" she asked me.
I couldn't take her piercing gaze and looked to the floor, specifically at Raven's leg brace. It looked heavy, but it did the trick and allowed her to stay upright. "My leg is usually a little stiff by the end of the night, but it helps to get around. Definitely better than crutches and it would've been a lot worse had your mom not fixed me up."
"What happened?" I asked abruptly. My curiosity was justified, but I mentally chastised myself for asking the question so rudely. "Sorry, that was incredibly rude of me to ask," I stated to the slightly older woman.
"It's fine," she stated. "At least you came right up front with it and asked instead of half the people we get here. When I was back at Arkadia, I was a mechanical engineer. I actually worked with your dad a lot, but Sinclair was my mentor. They were like… work spouses; it was disgusting," she stated with an easy smile lighting up her face.
I couldn't help but smile as well as I thought about all the times Sinclair was invited to the house as he and my father rambled on and on about new projects and future improvements to make Arkadia a better and safer place to live. All the while, my mom and I would not-so-eagerly listen to them and roll our eyes at them.
Raven sat down on one of the decorated chairs in the hallway, likely to take away some of the pressure on her leg and I eased myself into the adjacent chair.
"Well one day, there was an issue with one of the machines inside the Ark. Something got disconnected but no one was small enough to fit into the tiny space to reconnect the chords. Sinclair and your father were off at Mount Weather, trying to get our two systems connected so we could radio them, and vice versa. I'm sure one of them would've come up with a better solution…. Well, Pike oh-so-graciously volunteered me to go and do the job. I didn't mind. I told him that we would have to turn off the power for a little while so that I could fit in there without being crushed by the other moving machines. Needless to say, his impatient ass couldn't wait for me to get out of the hole before turning the power on again and he just about crushed my spine," Raven said and she looked away from me, something resembling tears glistening in her eyes. "Your mom is the reason I still have one good leg, but the other one is pretty useless these days."
"I'm so sorry… I couldn't even imagine the -the" I stated, but was cut off by her.
"The pain," she deadpanned. "I still feel it every now and then, but it got easier, and I have Wick here to help out. Without him, I wouldn't have this handy dandy leg brace."
I noted the smile on her features and asked with a devious smile, "Wick is your...?"
"Husband," she said. "Coming up on a two-year anniversary here soon."
Would I ever have that?
"So if you don't mind my asking, how did you end up here? Why go to the middle of nowhere?" I asked.
She didn't seem phased by my questions thus far and merely smiled at this question. "I couldn't live by the laws of someone who showed no remorse for almost killing me. Wick and I were just dating at the time, but his impulsive ass came with me. We were just gonna keep roaming, but we found this place along the way and decided to settle down. Make a place of our own, and people started coming to us, asking if they could seek passage. We couldn't just turn them down."
"Who were they?" I asked.
"Some were Arkadians, looking to leave for the same reason I did. Mostly Grounders. A lot of Grounders that ended up coming this way because their village got burned down by the Progressives. There were so many mothers and children without their fathers… how could we ever turn away from them?" Raven asked solemnly, looking me directly in the eye.
I looked at her as well with a pained expression on my face. "You couldn't." And neither can I.
"And then we got some merchants here headed to Polis to sell their product. Some would set up shop and then leave the day after. We charged a small price for them to set up their areas in exchange for a small percentage of their earnings. A lot of them actually decided to stay because it's cheaper to rent a space in our courtyard than it is to rent in Polis."
"So that's how this place stays afloat," I said more to myself.
"We aren't taxed either. We're neither on Arkadia land nor Trikru. Food gets a little trickier, but we manage. Some of the traders will give us food instead of money, which works just fine. Otherwise, we hunt or go to Polis."
"This… is brilliant Raven. You and Wick really have made something special here and I'm happy to know that others appreciate your work," I said in astonishment. Living more so off the land than technology-based living must be difficult for the married couple, but they're doing it.
"Go relax, Clarke. You deserve it," Raven said while patting my shoulder slightly and making her way to the other end of the hallway. But did I? Deserve it?
I sat there for a few seconds contemplating her words, but my feet unstuck from the ground and I unlocked the door to my room. My real, live room. I didn't bother relocking the door. If one of my companions needed me, I wanted it to be like old times where they could just open the flap of my tent or yell to me if they needed anything.
I looked around the decorated room – it wasn't overly done, but it was nice and well-kept. I had my own bathroom – an actual bathroom and not just the backside of a tree! That in itself was enough to make me smile as I set my large pack on the ground next to the bed.
The bed…
I over-dramatically leapt onto the bed and buried my head into the plush pillows, laughing into the fresh scent of the sheets, but wrinkling my nose at the disgusting scent I radiated.
I hopped off the bed faster than I thought my jelly-like muscles could muster and looked at the bed, hoping to not find any dirt or grime on the bright white sheets.
I unpacked a moderately clean pair of clothes and underwear and sat them on the bed for later. Right now, that shower was calling my name.
I scrambled into the bathroom and took note of the shampoo and bar of soap that sat atop the counter by the sink. Next to it, a full-sized towel was hung up, and right across from that was my sanctuary.
It took a few seconds for me to adjust the shower nozzle and select my ideal temperature. It was just a few notches down from being the hottest temperature.
While the water continued to warm up, I began to unravel myself from my clothes. First to go was my shirt and then my pants.
The mirror in the bathroom allowed for me to see my own image in weeks. I was not impressed, and was quite surprised that Raven didn't turn us away at the door. My blonde hair was covered in so much dirt, it was starting to turn a light shade of brown. The rest of me was either severely coated in dirt and grime or still relatively clean from where my clothing would not allow the dirt to reach. Even so, those areas were still covered in a light shade of grime.
About the only area on my body that wasn't dirty was the wound on my side, which I was thankful for. It was starting to hurt again, and I didn't want to be in the shower for very long because of it.
I shed myself of my basic bra and panties, took one last look at myself in the mirror and turned away in shame.
How could someone accumulate so much dirt in so little time?
I stepped into the shower and all my tension began to go away, much like the damn dirt being washed away by the drain. I smiled into the hot water and tucked my head under the shower's nozzle, applying the no-scent shampoo.
About five minutes in to the shower, no more dirt flowed to the ground and through the drain.
About ten minutes after that, my pruned-up hands were telling me that I needed to exit the warm embrace of the water. That and my side was beginning to cramp up again.
Now, I wouldn't mind relaxing until dinner.
I wrapped my body in the short towel and opened the door. My stomach growled, and I couldn't help but wonder what Wick would cook for us…
"Oh my god!" I screamed and turned away. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" I whisper-screamed.
"What the hell, Clarke?" Bellamy asked from his place on the bed. "You spent god-knows how long in there, and you couldn't put some clothes on?"
I turned back to him, fully aware that I was most likely giving him a good glimpse of my ass and realized that he was as his dark eyes obviously shifted to meet my own. He gave me a cheeky smile. That bastard. "Are you gonna turn around so that I could get dressed?" I asked as water started dripping from my legs and hair.
"And why should I do that?" he asked smugly.
At first, I couldn't come up with a good excuse.
I didn't want Bellamy to face the other direction. But, he had to. That's how it had to be.
"Bellamy Blake, I don't need a reason. Just turn around," I said sternly.
Instead of just doing what I told him, he laid his back against the pillows and put his arms behind his head. However, he did have the decency to close his eyes after a moment.
After waving my hand in front of his face a few times to make sure he didn't react, I quickly stripped myself of the towel and changed into the clothes I had laid out. "You do realize that the clothes I was going to change into were sitting right next to you," I said when I was fully clothed again.
"Oh darn, wish I had seen them," Bellamy said with mock surprise.
So much for the blissful naked nap I was gonna take. A fleeting thought in the back of my mind annoyingly let me know that I could still do so with Bellamy there. Be naked, that is. In his arms. His own nakedness surrounding me….
"You should go relax," I said to Bellamy as I abandoned my train of thought. I tapped him on the foot, letting him know that he could open his eyes.
"So should you," he said back to me.
I stared at him and he mock-narrowed his eyes at me. "Whatever," I said while easing my way down next to him on the bed.
"Besides, your bed is way comfier than mine," he stated.
I looked to him at my side, really looked at him. He looked and smelled as if he had done the same thing I had done – showered and put on the cleanest clothes he had with him. Even so, his attire didn't differ from what he normally wore. "You smell nice," I said to him.
"You too," he said back in a whisper.
When I looked to him, he looked both contemplative and calm. It was a look only Bellamy could pull off.
"What's on your mind?" I asked, trying my best to turn facing towards him, no matter how much I strained to do so.
"Whoa, Princess, easy there. Don't wanna hurt yourself," he said while easing me down onto my back again. He himself hovered over me slightly, his hand resting against my shoulder as his thumb drew tantalizing circles against my skin. If I thought he smelled nice next to me, then his scent was almost overwhelming on top of me.
As much as I wanted him in the moment, I couldn't shake a thought from my head. It seized my mind and wouldn't let up. "Bellamy, what do we do now?" I asked in a worried tone. He looked at me quizzically and I continued. "My mom told me to come here. That's it. Nothing else. So… what now?" I asked.
"I wish I knew the answer, Clarke," Bellamy said to me, his eyes sincere as ever.
"The whole issue is that we need to get people to see that the Progressives are bad news. Sure, my dad's broadcast helped, but Pike's censorship will take care of that like it never happened," I said in a frustrated tone.
"We have people on our side. Everyone that gave us food and supplies while we were on the run… they are with us," Bellamy argued.
"It's not enough, and you know it. They don't have guns or weapons to help us" I said back at him, sitting up from my position. "It's not like the Grounders are going to welcome us with open arms either."
Bellamy mirrored my sitting up. "Clarke, slow down and –"
"No, Bellamy! I don't have the time to relax and slow down. My parents are in trouble, they're getting beaten because of Pike!" I all but yelled at him beginning to pace the room frantically. My nerves were on fire and my blood felt like it was boiling.
"Don't you think I know that? He killed my mother, Clarke!" Bellamy yelled at me as he stood up as well. "When he decides that he wants to go on another power trip, my people will be at the expense of that first!" he screamed while locking my arms under his firm grip, looking me dead in the eye.
We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity as he continued to grip my upper-arms.
"Then why are you here and not protecting them?" I asked him level-headedly, but anger still lingered in my voice. I needed to hear his answer – his reasoning as to why he continuously contradicted his own sound reasoning through this conversation.
"Because…" he paused for a moment as he pursed his lips, obviously hesitating. "Because of you and Octavia. And even though the both of you are too stubborn to admit it, you needed me – and I needed to be there for you."
My mind settled on his last statement and how he needed to be there for me. More importantly, I realized just how right he was. But, this conversation was getting too close to a subject matter that we needed to leave alone.
"Stop," I said and turned to him. "Just… stop."
"Stop what?" Bellamy said with confusion in his voice, but it didn't reach his dark eyes.
"Stop being so strong for the people around you," I said and gazed at his features. His eyes, his lips, his nose, his lips, his cheek bones, his lips. If it weren't for our proximity and his positively warm hands covering my arms, I would've laughed at my gawking at him. Besides, I was a little too old for a school-girl crush.
Although, maybe it wasn't just a crush. Maybe.
"Screw it," Bellamy muttered before finally covering his mouth over mine. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes at the sensation of being kissed – by Bellamy Blake, no less –- was the look of determination on his face. His hands still gripped my upper arms, but I hardly noticed it. I was stunned into a paralysis of some sort; I couldn't will my body to move of any sort. So, when Bellamy's warm lips moved away from my own after our chaste kiss, I could finally gather my thoughts and feelings as they all came rushing back. The moment I felt a cool, dull breeze against my lips and cheeks was when I realized that our moment was over.
All the while, I just stood there. Like an idiot. What was I supposed to do or say, for that matter? Thanks so much for the awesome kiss, it was better than I ever dreamt. You have really nice lips. Want to do it again?
No, not even Octavia was that up front with people.
Did that really just happen?
He physically moved away from me after I neither said anything nor did anything to reassure that I didn't hate him kissing me just then. His hands left my bare arms and his feet began to move backwards; it looked as if he was on the defensive from a feral animal.
"Oh," I whispered finally. I kept my eyes downcast, but continued to register his retreating form.
Did I really want the moment to end?
His hand was about to touch the door knob when I finally made up my mind.
"Wait… no," I stated and launched myself back at Bellamy, this time wrapping my arms around his neck and threading my fingers through his hair as my lips crashed to his in a fit of passion. My ramming into him pushed him back against the door with a thud, but neither of us cared as I trapped him between my body and the wooden door. Somewhere in this newfound moment, I felt his rough and gentle hands encircle my cheeks and jaw as our lips and nose smacked and rubbed against one another affectionately.
We didn't take it any farther than that, which was fine with me. The butterflies flapping away in my stomach were almost painful, aroused with the thought of what would happen next, yet afraid to take that step.
I pulled away from his mouth to breath, but kept my fingers laced through his now tussled hair. Together, we reveled in each other's presence as we stood in the near-silent room.
"Wow," Bellamy breathed out as he bent his head down to rest on my forehead. "That was…"
"I really liked it," I stated, ignoring the roughness of my voice.
Bellamy smiled lovingly down at me as his eyes lit up. "I really liked it, too… you don't even know how long I've wanted to do that."
And you have no idea how long I've wanted that.
I almost started laughing at how wonderfully absurd this whole situation was. "I'm sorry for basically pushing you into the door," i said while trying to hide my smirk into his chest.
"Hey," he said while lightly lifting my chin up. "I said I liked it, too. It was pretty hot if you ask me," he finished with a wink.
"Is that so?" I asked with a lilt to my voice that I couldn't seem to control.
"Yeah, it is," Bellamy stated huskily as he tilted his mouth down to my own again. This kiss was passionate, but slow - not the same rushed ferocity that it was before. And then I realized, I really liked kissing Bellamy Blake. A lot.
For the rest of the time before dinner, Bellamy and I stayed within the walls of my room, just basking in each other's company as well as the plush bed, kissing and whispering wishes and wants into each other's ears. Neither of us wondered about the looming near future.
God, this bed was wonderful.
By the time dinner rolled around, my group started filling in one by one. Bellamy and I got there fashionably early, so we witnessed Ben come in shortly after. Monty followed suit looking both clean and tired, as if he just woke up from a nap. And right on time, Jasper and Octavia came in hand in hand. Octavia looked slyly between Bellamy and I while giving a knowing smirk; although, I'm not too sure how much she knew.
Each one of us found a seat at the lavish table and sat down. Bellamy and Ben sat on either side of me, as if they were my body guards. Monty sat on his dad's side, his head resting on the table as Ben rubbed soothing circles into Monty's back. The poor kid couldn't even put up a fight with his dad. Jasper and Octavia sat across from us, Jasper looking anywhere that wasn't at Bellamy, and Octavia starring fiercely into Bellamy's challenging eyes.
We sat in the dining hall for a few minutes before anyone came. First, Wick with food. As he sat platters of different meats and vegetables and other side dishes in front of us, I began to salivate at the intense rush of smells that were wafting in the air.
"Compliments to the chef," Ben exclaimed as he dug in.
"I appreciate it, man," Wick said. "Raven should be here any moment now, but please let me know if I can get you guys anything. I'll be at the front desk, alright?" he asked looking to each of us.
We all nodded our heads, all sure that we would not need anything from him.
And true to his word, Raven came in moments after he left. But, she didn't sit down with us. Rather, she stood at the slightly-opened door, looking to us nervously and at whatever was on the other side of the door.
"Raven…?" I asked suspiciously.
I started to put my defenses up, the entirety of my appetite gone. This was it, this is where Raven was sure to turn us in to the Progressives and turn a pretty profit for her cooperation. Who could blame her? I wouldn't want a bunch of delinquents stirring up trouble in my place of home and work.
I reached under the table and grabbed for Bellamy's hand, needing his strength for whatever was about to happen next. He didn't look in my direction, but he let my hand squeeze his, his grip matching my own.
"So this is nothing bad, if that's what you're thinking," Raven started out with.
"Well forgive us for being suspicious…" Monty said as Ben slapped the back of his head.
"This… could actually be beneficial for you guys. Uhmmmm, yeah," Raven said awkwardly as she stepped aside and let the new stranger into the room.
Everyone seemed relatively unfazed by our new guest, that is everyone but me.
When trauma hits, the people involved will unfortunately have an almost picturesque memory of the people, places, and events that occurred. So when I saw the familiar sight of high cheek bones, dark blonde hair, and a deadly gaze that gave off no remorse for her actions, my heart sped up and not in the way that it did when I was kissing Bellamy.
"You!" I yelled as I stood up from my chair and began angrily walking to the figure standing in the doorway as Raven tried to step in front of me and block my advances.
I barely registered the feel of Bellamy's hand slipping from mine or when he tried to get ahold of my arm. I didn't even hear my chair hitting the floor. I didn't even hear Raven's "oof" when I pushed past her, nor did I see her form stumble to the ground.
No.
I only had eyes fixated on the person in front of me. My ears were perked, but all I could hear was a constant ringing. My hands curled into fists instead of remaining dormant at my sides.
I was brought back to a night I hoped would never make its way fully back into my mind again. It was the night that our dear Chancellor Jaha died. It was the night that Wells died.
And here stood in front of me the bitch who was responsible for it all. Yes, the fierce Princess Anya stood in front of me and I was ready for my revenge.
So what did you think? We got some new settings, some fluff, and a new development that will be sure to shift the story in a new direction. Drop me a review/follow/favorite, and the whole works! Have a good day/night!
