Author's Note: Hello everyone, got your chapter 11! We have some conflict coming up in this installment. However, it is relatively short with less than 3000 word-count (yes, that seems to be short for my writing). Title of the chapter comes from Volbeat and supposed to signify a type of limbo that these two are settling into.

As always, let me know what you think! Review, follow, favorite, or drop me a PM - it all keeps me going. :)

Enjoy!

Chapter 11: Heaven Nor Hell

Clarke POV:

Three Days Later:


Although leaving the rest of the group was difficult, Bellamy and I had saddled up some horses and rode to the general direction of Polis, hoping that we weren't being lead into a trap.

As the long days and cold nights continued, I found that it became easier to strategize an upcoming plan to diplomacy opposed to living in the moment with cramped legs and awkward smiles. It provided a great distraction from the family I left behind and the stupid-handsome man beside me, and the seemingly impending doom that was sure to come.

Before Anya and I parted the night of the disastrous dinner, we discussed more about what peace might look like between Arkadia and the Grounder clans. She explained the full extent of how the coalition of the thirteen clans operated. She claimed that Ice Nation – Azgeda, she had called them – was once a part of the coalition for many generations but with their most current queen taking a violent turn against the Commander, it was no wonder that the other twelve clans elected to banish them from the coalition's territory and trading routes. Over time, even before Princess Anya was declared 'dead,' there was no treaty between the two power entities and a covert war had begun.

And today, the role of the thirteenth clan was available, and maybe Arkadia could take its place. Instead of taking from the Grounders, we could also give back and help – just like with the small villages we passed to get to the Inn. If Bellamy and I played our cards right… maybe we could score that spot. This was how we got to peace. This was plan A through Z, and I was unsure of what to do if this plan were to fail. "You think this'll work?" I pondered aloud while riding up closer to Bellamy. I wasn't pretending any more than he was that I knew how to properly ride a horse, but neither of us had fallen off or died yet. However, the dull ache between my thighs was becoming overwhelming as the pain in my side turned sharp with each gallop. My wound would surely never heal properly what with the hell I'm putting it through. However, I could only imagine the discomfort that Bellamy was in.

"If we try," he smiled. I want to believe you.

"I just keep thinking that Arkadia could be the thirteenth clan and – I don't know – make it work," I stated hopefully. But then my expression became grimmer. "And then I think about the shit storm we'll have to endure to get there… if we get there."

"Never said it would be easy Princess," Bellamy defended.

We trekked uncomfortably on the horses for a little while longer, the aches becoming worse with every step my stead took.

It truly felt as if we were nearing Polis, but any 'giant-tower-that-you-can't-miss' was still not yet visible.

We had barely spoken to each other and neither of us complained about the silence thus far. There were times I wanted to converse with the man at my side, yet something held me back. I felt like I was expecting too much from him, yet I was angry for what he had given me – kisses, a yearning for more, a little piece of heaven.

I could see the same restraint in his eyes and posture when riding. He would sometimes turn to me or smile slightly as if he were going to say something but then the corners of his lips would turn down into a frown and he would bow his head almost shamefully, picking at his horse's saddle. And nothing would be said. We were walking on egg shells at this point, willing to keep them from breaking any further, stuck in a type of limbo.

Nevertheless, we found a steady rhythm. We rode, one person took watch for several hours and would wake the other for second watch. We left mid-morning and then resettled down just before sunset.

Today was no different as we pulled off to the side of the beaten-down path and pushed further into the dense forest to make camp for the night.

"You set up the tent?" Bellamy asked as we came into a small clearing, surrounded by seemingly thicker trees than before. This journey so far made me think back to when the Ark first landed as Myranda, Wells and I explored the new terrain with no cares in the world, our young minds' allowing us to believe we were invincible. How I missed them both dearly – the boy who wanted to live among the flowers and the girl who didn't live long enough to develop any relationship with Earth.

I merely nodded my head absently as I hopped down from the horse, careful to not fall or startle the gentle creature. I tacked the beautiful black stead to a nearby sturdy branch and Bellamy did the same, taking out a container to pour them water. I grabbed the equipment to pitch our tent while Bellamy went to collect small sticks for a fire. It was in these moments that I took peace in his absence.

I felt more frustrated than grateful towards his insistence on traveling with. The less people on this journey, the better it would turn out; yet, Bellamy had to risk himself and the mission for some foolish concept of chivalry. And even more so, I was frustrated with myself for letting him come on this mission. I should've tried harder to get him to stay where he was safe with Octavia and our people.

Hell, I didn't even need protection! There had yet to be any signs of hostile Grounders, dangerous animals, or Progressives. A win to behold in my book for sure. We were a long way from Arkadia by now, so it was natural to think that the Progressives hadn't traveled this far out. While Arkadia knew about Ice Nation, I was unsure that Pike or any one Arkadian knew of Polis.

However, what was to be said about Raven's Inn? She housed open trading there. Anyone could pass through and cause harm and she was within the Porgressives' radius, and from what I observed, she was lacking in security or self defense detail. It was dangerous to rely to much on the goodness of people, even though I had counted on it many times until this point. What if they needed one of us there? What if we both died without any of our family knowing?

To reiterate, it was dangerous to rely of the goodness of people – even family.

We could fail, or die, or both most likely and no one would know. They would be left merely with an inkling suspicion.

And with that, I realized that Bellamy Blake was a selfish, selfish man.

Putting up the tent, I thought of the place I once called home, my mind running off on another tangent; not just Arkadia, but simply the home that my parents had built. My father being an engineer for the Ark and Arkadia and my mother being the chief doctor, we were very well-off. We were given the chance to design our own home and that's precisely what we did. It was a comfortable four-bedroom house with all the amenities that any other household was granted. My favorite part of the house was the large bay window that faced towards the woods along with the little window seat. That, and the wrap-around porch just outside the front door where I could draw the landscape from any direction I wanted. Even with the threat of Grounder attacks prior to the treaty, Wells and I spent many times in those woods, taking care to be wary of threats. After his death, Octavia and I spent most days hiking and exploring the trees and different plants, ranging from making each other flower crowns to throwing mud at each other.

Now, I found that my home rarely revolved around the physical place that I lay to rest or played a game of tag in. My home had become my people – my family. And right now, my home was somewhere in these woods right now, collecting firewood. I smiled to myself despite the shrewdness I currently felt for him.

And then I felt something completely different as I popped off the pouch of my long knife and took hold of the hilt, letting my fingers dig into the soft leather as I pretended to dust off some dirt on the tent, my attention on the unknown discrepancy behind me. Stay frosty Clarke.

Rule #1 of Marcus Kane's self defense class: if you feel like you are being watched, chances are that you are. Stick with your gut.

My breathing stilled as I whipped around, expecting to be met with force. Instead, a group of black crows flew from the thick branches. Their loud flapping and horrible caws frightened me, my heart leaping with trauma never to come. Should I be relieved that they were nothing more than crows or worried for the bad omen that a murder of crows often brought?

From my right came another loud crash as I gathered myself into a defensive stance.

"Ow, Jesus! This fucking brush is thick," came Bellamy's voice as he emerged from the bushes, rubbing at his forearm where a thin but angry red mark marred his otherwise perfectly tanned skin.

I visibly relaxed as he fully came into view but still held my stance, knife poised and ready to strike out. He held a sensible amount of firewood under his arm, while his other reached out to part the branches and thorns blocking his way.

"What's wrong?" he asked while setting the wood down in a neat pile.

"Nothing… I guess I just got spooked," I stated, looking away while slipping the knife back into its holster. An uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach remained.

He grasped my elbow slightly, concern evident in his dark eyes. "Anya will come through," he stated soothingly. I wanted to believe that so much. "You sure you're okay?"

A small flare of anger made itself present at the distant thought of his protectiveness and pushiness. So, I shook his arm away and stared daggers at him, my previous fear completely forgotten. "I'm quite fine, actually." My mind raced and zeroed in on one thought: selfish, selfish, selfish!

Bellamy looked taken aback by my abrupt attitude change. The slight outburst had been manifesting for days now, even since the day on the beach. Now, my frustration with him along with endless days on horseback and dwindling supplies was starting to boil over.

You'd think by now that I would learn how to deal with stress better. Guess not.

The sun fell completely shortly after as we ate our small dinner in a tense silence, a small fire between us, just barely lighting the contours of our faces.

Although the fire would have been nice to have going all night, we couldn't risk anybody spotting us. The fear of the unknown became a real possibility the closer we got to Polis.

"You figure out what you wanna say when we get there?" Bellamy asked as he tended the slowly dying embers.

We both knew our time in the woods – yet again – was coming to an end. It was time to figure out the right things to say when presented to the Commander. However, I would not lie to my coleader. "No, nothing seems right," I said almost shamefully.

He sighed and glanced away. "Better figure it out then."

"Don't you think I know that?" I exclaimed with annoyance. "Why are you trying to start shit right now?"

That got him riled up. So many times, Bellamy and I had fought over the most trivial topics. But that was a long time ago, and we were playing different games.

The stakes – the cost – was much higher now.

My head told me to stop before I got too far ahead of myself while my heart oh-so begged to go on, excited for the nonsense fight that was about to commence.

"I'm starting shit…" Bellamy laughed in disbelief. "I'M STARTING SHIT?!" he raged on. His eyes flashed with anger against the fire as he stood, storming over to me. He yanked me up by my upper arm and held me in a tight grasp. "I'm just trying to make sure YOU don't go and get yourself KILLED," he nearly yelled in my face.

I pulled out of his grasp and gave him a rough push away from me. and then another push for good measure. Although I had been taught to fight by one of the greatest fighters in town, Bellamy still towered over me and weighed a great deal more. He barely moved backwards at my shoves. "ANYONE, literally anyone, could have escorted me. Hell, I could've saved everyone the trouble and escorted myself!" I yelled in his face. "I'm not just some… child you can push around – we aren't kids anymore. EVERY choice we make from here on out will affect our future."

"I know Clarke!" Bellamy said hotly. "But we need to go in there as a united front. We need a plan of action," he calmed down significantly.

"Then why was it not two minutes ago that all the pressure was on me?" I asked while breathing heavily. "Why is this all so fucking complicated?" I asked more to myself, resigned.

"Are…" Bellamy began but was hesitant to finish his thought. "Are you still talking about meeting with the Commander?"

I took a moment to answer, trying to compose myself as tears began to blur my vision. "No, I suppose I'm not."

"Oh," was all he said.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked, only a small impish hint of desperation in my voice.

"Why did you kiss me back?" he repeated, his brown orbs pleading with me.

I took a moment to answer. Really, there were several things I could have said. Because I wanted to know what you tasted like.

Because I wanted to know how your lips felt against mine.

Because I wanted to stake my claim on you and live the life two twenty-something year olds should.

Because I think I love you… I think I'm in love with you.

Instead, "Because I care." I care about you.

And dammit, if I wasn't a selfish, selfish woman to be even remotely happy that it was Bellamy on this journey with me.

"Well, I care too," he immediately stated back with no hesitation, reaching down to kiss me. He was already cupping my cheek in his warm hand, his thumb running against the frail bone beneath. The movement was mesmerizing, a hypnotist's best trick. His nose bumped into my own and I felt his breath caress my top lip, a silent plea for an invitation. I so badly wanted to oblige. And yet –

"But we can't… not right now," I whispered as a tear slid down my cheek. I rested my hand against his chest to stop any further movement, feeling his shoulders slack in grief. I looked into his eyes to find a great deal of disappointment in his dark orbs. "I'm so sorry Bellamy."

An awkward silence fell between us, neither wanting to make a wrong move, or a wronger move than what had been previously made.

"I'll take first watch," he said while sitting back down and poking at the fire. "Get some sleep."

Suddenly, I missed the way my nickname rolled off his tongue and the way his hands held me so dear.

I discreetly wiped the unshed tears before they could fall and turned away. "Goodnight Bellamy," I barely whispered.

No response.

I took up space in the sleeping bag under the glorified tent, which more resembled a protective tarp. I could still see Bellamy's silhouette from my position.

The last thought I had before drifting into a fitful sleep was that the sleeping bag smelled like Bellamy Blake – something I took an annoying amount of comfort in.


"Clarke!" Bellamy yelled from the ground as I sat up quickly in the blanket, my eyes adjusting to the darkness quickly. His chest was pinned down to the ground, a boot heavily resting against his back.

I attempted to hastily remove my knife from its holster as Bellamy was knocked upside the head by our attackers.

I threw my knife and hit the target in the side of the neck, a pained gurgling noise coming from him as he reeled away from Bellamy, falling to the ground.

Before I even had time to register my first kill – the first time I ever murdered someone – someone else attacked me, punching me across my face.

I fell to the ground and the last thought I had before being hit in the back of the head was: Grounder.

The fire was completely burned out, the scent of smoke filling the air around. My vision blurred as I attempted to reach for Bellamy. I felt one more crushing blow to the back of my skull and passed out.


So what'd you guys think? C'mon, I couldn't simply make this an easy journey for our protagonists. All types of conflict going on in this chapter, AND MORE TO COME! Just need to get the next chapter edited, but it is written and HEAVY! Keep it classy, guys!