"Are you nervous?" Matilda looked at Santana on Sunday night.
"A little bit." Santana nodded.
"Where's Britt tonight?" Matilda asked.
"She's stayed at her apartment because she's out at four am for a morning shoot in this music video. Quinn and Kitty are coming by tomorrow morning to take you guys to school and pick you up from around the corner. I'll be back at around six-ish I think, so Quinn said she'd bring you guys back here and wait until I got back." Santana sat
down on her bed.
"You need to calm down," Matilda said. Santana sighed and flopped back against the pillows.
"I'm just so tired, Til. I want it all to be over and the court dates to be done so we can just move on with things." Santana said.
"Did Emma say when they were?" Matilda lay back with her.
"In about a month. She didn't say the exact dates, just in a month. All of us have to go. You guys will be in a separate room and over like a video chat or something so your parents can't try and coerce you." Santana
said.
"Do you have to testify?" Matilda asked.
"I think so. Emma said there was a chance but I was the one who told her about the abuse so yeah, probably." Santana shrugged.
"Are you scared?"
"About testifying? I've been in court before, so no." Santana said.
"Testifying against your brother." Matilda corrected her.
"Oh. That." Santana said. She hummed and shook her head. "No. I mean, it's going to be weird but he deserves it. I lost all my respect for him when I got called to the social services office to claim custody of you three." Santana said. Matilda rolled onto her side and looked at her aunt.
"Why did you take us in?" Matilda asked. Santana rolled to look at her properly.
"Because it's shit being left behind," Santana said.
"You said you were taken off your mamí by social services," Matilda said.
"I was sixteen. Mamí had been a mess since I was six and your dad left. My dad changed from working in the state to working away when I was fourteen, so it was just mamí and I alone in the house. We'd argue all the time, mamí was drinking herself into an early grave, we never heard from papí so we didn't know if he was even alive wherever he was deployed. It was just a big mess and I guess the school got an idea of how bad it was when mamí turned up at school one morning drunk. She'd drove over to the school and nearly knocked some kids over. She'd come inside and we had some massive blowout in the hallway. We ended up in the principle's office and next thing you know, I'm in foster care. I mean, I'm so lucky that I got to stay in the same district because I don't know what I would've done without Quinn or Kitty, or even Rachel and Kurt. Mamí went to rehab and when I was eighteen, she gave me a college fund she had been saving my whole life for and I moved to New York with everyone. I speak to my mamí once a month to just check-in and that's the extent of our relationship." Santana said.
"What was your foster family like?" Matilda asked.
"They were nice. They had a daughter who was a year older than me, Rosa, and they were also Spanish. Rosa is a police officer in Brooklyn, actually." Santana said.
"Why did they live in Ohio?" Matilda asked.
"I dunno. Rosa just decided to go to New York and then I went a year after she did. I should probably call them actually, I haven't since the whole thing started." Santana mumbled to herself.
"See them tomorrow," Matilda said.
"I could but they don't like surprise visits and they're in work during the day anyway. It's fine, I'll just ring them on Tuesday." Santana said.
"Can we meet Rosa?" Matilda asked. Santana hummed and nodded.
"I don't see why not. We can take the subway down to see her after school one day." Santana said.
"What's she like?" Matilda asked.
"She's quite closed off. She hates talking about family and stuff and she's dead private." Santana said.
"Like you then," Matilda said.
"I suppose," Santana said. Matilda hummed and rolled onto her back, looking up at the photos on the ceiling.
"I like the photos on the ceiling thing. It's Tumblr." Matilda said.
"Quinn and Kurt did it for me when I moved in," Santana said.
"What's your favourite photo?" Matilda asked. Santana stood up and looked at them carefully. She nodded to herself and pulled one down. She sat down and handed it to Matilda. "Who's this?" Matilda pointed at the boy in the photo with Santana.
"Matías," Santana said.
"Dad mentioned a Matías once," Matilda said.
"Did he say anything else?" Santana asked.
"No, just that he missed him." Matilda handed the photo back to Santana. She stood up and stuck it back on the ceiling.
"Matías is my twin brother," Santana said. Matilda nodded slowly.
"Where is he?" she asked. Santana looked down at her knees. "You don't have to answer. I'm sorry. I'm pushing you for answers and I didn't even realise." Matilda placed a hand on Santana's.
"You're curious, I get it," Santana said. She checked her phone and sighed. "I best be sleeping or I won't wake up to go to the airport," Santana said.
"What time is it?" Matilda asked.
"Midnight. I have to be up at six and at the airport for seven." Santana said.
"How far is the airport from here?" Matilda asked.
"Ten minutes in the cab." Santana shrugged.
"I'll leave you to sleep. Goodnight." Matilda stood up and walked to her bedroom door.
"Night Til." Santana yawned. Matilda smiled and left the room.
--
"Hey, Santana." Will greeted her once she had landed in Ohio.
"Hey Will," Santana said.
"How was the flight?" he asked.
"Fine." Santana shrugged.
"Let's get this over with, yeah?" he said.
"Yeah." Santana nodded and followed him to the doors of the airport. They got into the car and she plugged her headphones in, trying to listen to the playlist that reminded her of Brittany so she wouldn't panic.
"We're here." Will pulled into a spot. Santana got out of the car and followed him into the prison. They signed in and a guard nodded at Santana.
"Follow me, Miss," he said.
"I'll wait here. Just come out when you're done, there's no rush." Will said.
"Okay. Thanks." Santana said. He nodded and sat at the table in the waiting room. She followed the guard down the hallway and to a small room.
"I'll be right outside in case anything happens. It is a double way mirror so there will be people behind there supervising, but it'll be private," he said.
"Okay. Thanks." Santana sat at the table. She tapped her fingers against the cold metal and looked around the room. It was pretty bare, just a mirror across one wall where Santana knew someone was watching her. She sighed and checked the time on her phone. Ten forty-nine in the morning. She shot a quick text off to Quinn asking if the girls went to school okay and then one to Britt to check how her morning was.
"Sit." a guard pulled a man in and sat him opposite Santana. He handcuffed the man to the bars on the table and then left, closing the door behind him. Santana looked at him carefully. It was Alejandro, but he looked so different. He was only thirty-five but looked to be about fifty. His brown curls had gone, he now had a shaved head which showed he had a few scars in his head. Santana could only guess what they were from. His brown eyes were empty and they looked worn, the wrinkles around them looking quite prominent. His nose was flatter than Santana remembered, probably because he had given himself a deviated septum with all the sniffing he had done. His cheeks were hollow and he looked smaller in the orange jumpsuit than she had ever seen him look. This wasn't her brother, Alejandro Lopez jr, the quarterback of the football team, the captain of the basketball and rugby teams and her hero. This was an empty shell of him and it made her feel ill.
"I almost didn't recognise you without your missing teeth and your pigtails," he said. His voice was hoarse and croaky and deeper than she remembered.
"It has been twenty years since you've seen me," Santana said.
"I know. You've got the kids, the man said. Will." Alejandro said. Santana nodded.
"They live with me in New York," Santana said.
"Do they like you?" he asked.
"Yeah," Santana said.
"It's Matilda's birthday soon. She'll be seventeen on Christmas. It's your birthday as well, twenty-seven." he said.
"When are Francesca and Cambria's birthdays?" Santana asked.
"Francesca's is on the twenty-ninth of March, Cambria's is the first of
August," he said.
"Thanks." Santana made a mental note of their birthdays in her head. She hadn't even been told by Emma.
"Cambria is named after you, you know. Cambria Santana Lopez," he said.
"What?" Santana raised her eyebrows.
"I gave the girls a middle name after someone special. Matilda Alma, Francesca Maribel, Cambria Santana. Well, Matilda is named after Matías, cause she was born on the same day as him. I was gonna do Matilda Santana but that's a mouthful, so Cambria got it instead. They don't really flow but I felt like it was right." Alejandro said.
"I haven't seen Abuela or mamí in a while," Santana said.
"Cause you moved? I would've thought that they'd be all over their little Santana taking New York by storm." he chuckled slightly. Santana sucked her bottom lip into her mouth.
"Abuela disowned me and I got taken off mamí and put into foster care. I haven't spoken to Abuela since and I barely see mamí." Santana said.
"What? Why? When?" Alejandro frowned.
"Abuela disowned me when I came out when I was fifteen. Mamí went crazy after Mat. She became an alcoholic and she turned up at school when I was sixteen and caused a big scene. I was in foster care the next day." Santana said. Alejandro looked even more confused.
"You're gay?" he asked.
"Yes," Santana said. He hummed and shrugged. She felt a wave of relief pass over her that he accepted her. There wasn't much he could do if he didn't, anyway, but she did feel better with his approval.
"I suppose you want answers from me," he said.
"Well, yeah. That's why I came." Santana crossed her arms.
"Ask away," he said.
"Why did you leave?"
"I couldn't stay. I knew papí hated me and mamí and I would always argue. It was best if I just left, so I did." he shrugged.
"Why didn't you stay in touch with us? I mean, you got married and didn't tell us and had kids and didn't tell us, but you know about Mat." Santana scoffed.
"He was in the news, Ana. It's a little bit different than me telling you guys. If I remember right, nobody bothered to tell me about Mat or papí." he glared at her.
"How was I meant to tell you? You dropped off the face of the Earth. You left no number or anything for us to talk to you and mamí wouldn't tell us anything. I just thought you hated us and gave up on us." Santana glared back at him.
"Fair enough. I dunno. Mamí always called me a fuck up, not that she was far off, and I guess I didn't want to pass it on to you guys." he said.
"So you passed it onto your kids? Do you have any idea how damaged those girls are? Cambria had an accident the other night because she had a nightmare about something and when I went to help her, she begged me not to hurt her. You've physically hurt your children, Ale. You're a monster." Santana leaned slightly towards him.
"I'll admit, I've done things I'm not proud of," he muttered.
"So have I! I've never hurt someone or injected myself with some drugs or sniffed something to take the edge off! I deal with it like a normal person!" Santana shouted.
"You don't understand! I've had so much shit happen to me and drugs were the only way for me to feel better!" he shouted.
"And I haven't had shit happen to me? I lost you, I lost my twin brother, I lost mamí, I lost Abuela, I lost papí, I had to bury my baby and you know what? Not once did I turn to drugs. You're a coward. You hurt your kids to feel better about yourself but you're just a coward and you're not my brother." Santana stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going to fight for those girls, Ale, and I won't rest until you're behind bars paying for everything you've done to them," she said. Alejandro nodded slowly.
"You would've been an amazing mother. I'm glad you get to be one to my girls. They deserve it after everything I've put them through." he said. Santana's glare dropped and she bit her lip.
"Yeah, they do." she turned and walked out of the door. The guard led her back to Will and she looked at him. "Let's go. I'm done here."
Santana said.
"Did you get your answers?" he asked.
"Not all of them but I'd heard enough," Santana said.
"I get it. Let's get you back to New York," he said.
"Thanks, Will," Santana muttered. He nodded and led her out of the building.
--
"You're home!" Cambria jumped at Santana as soon as she walked through the door. Santana picked her up and lifted her onto her hip. She walked to the kitchen, seeing Francesca and Matilda were talking intently with Brittany about music. Quinn and Kitty were in the kitchen putting plates of food at the table.
"Hey, Satan. How was it?" Quinn asked. Santana shrugged.
"I'm not hungry, so don't worry about making me a plate," Santana said.
"You need to eat," Kitty said. Santana gave her a look and she shrugged.
"I don't give a shit what happened today, you need to eat or you'll starve and die," Kitty said.
"Please tía?" Cambria pouted. Santana put her down on the island and walked to her bedroom. She closed the door and stripped off, jumping in the shower. She washed herself clean of the events of the day with Brittany's soaps so she could smell her girlfriend all around her. She dried off with Brittany's towel and she pulled on Brittany's pyjamas. She went out to join her family and sat at the table with them in silence.
"Hey, baby." Brittany kissed her cheek. "They're my pyjamas. They look cuter on you. Keep them." Brittany smiled. Santana gave her a half-smile and took a bite of the pasta.
"I helped them cook, tía! Quinn said if I ask very very nicely that you might teach me how to cook some traditional Latin dishes." Cambria said.
"That's great, Cam," Santana mumbled.
"How was your flight back?" Matilda asked
"Fine." Santana nodded.
"Did you see anyone you knew?" Francesca asked. Santana shook her head.
"I told the girls about Rosa. They're dead excited to see her." Matilda said.
"We can go on Friday." Santana took another bite of her pasta.
"Are you going to call in advance? You know Rosa hates surprises." Brittany laughed slightly. Santana shrugged.
"Rosa would just say no if they wanted her. You know what she's like." Kitty smiled.
"I love Rosa. I might come and see her too." Quinn said.
"She'd freak if we all turned up," Kitty said. Santana pushed her plate away and stood up. She walked to her room and dropped down on her bed, curling herself up into a ball.
--
"Hey, baby." Brittany slid into bed behind Santana. She wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. Santana shuffled back into her and sighed.
"Hi Britt," she mumbled.
"You were a little bit off at dinner and the girls were a bit worried. I put them to bed and told them you'll be okay and I'd come and help you. Quinn and Kitty send their love but they had to get back before Puck trashed their apartment." Brittany said.
"I'm sorry. Seeing him just really shook me. He made me think about things I haven't thought about for a while and it was just stressful." Santana said.
"I'm here for you if you want to let anything out," Brittany said.
"There's so much Britt, we'd be here all night." Santana sighed and turned so she was facing Britt.
"I don't care. I'd stay awake for months if it meant making sure you were okay," she said. Santana smiled and kissed her lips softly.
"I love you more than anyone in the world," she whispered.
"I love you more, baby." Brittany smiled.
"I guess I'll start with Matías then. Matías was my twin brother. We were inseparable until we turned ten and then we both started getting interested in different things. I joined cheer and dance and gymnastics and he joined the comic book club and glee club and debate team. He got bullied really badly and whenever I tried to step in, he'd get angry with me and tell me it just made it worse. I remember once going to the football players and begging them to stop and they said they all wanted to make out with me and they'd stop. I was only thirteen but I hated seeing him upset so I did. I'm quite lucky Quinn was my first make out before they were." Santana smiled slightly.
"You made out with like twenty guys so your brother wouldn't get bullied. That is kind of adorable." Brittany laughed.
"Yeah, he didn't think so at the time." Santana laughed. Brittany smiled and Santana continued. "It stopped for a while and things got better between us. Then Quinn and I fell out with a girl on the cheer squad and she gave all the football players a handjob to make them bully him again. She was fourteen and gave like, twenty boys a handjob, so you can imagine how well that went over with her parents when they found out. Anyway, they bullied him again because a handjob trumps a make-out session." Santana rolled her eyes playfully. "But it got really bad. We turned fourteen on Christmas and by the January, he hated going to school again and he would try and skip all the time, but everyone knew where we lived and they'd follow us home and be horrible to him. Nobody ever said anything to me because I wore that stupid cheer uniform. He went missing on Tuesday. He didn't go to school and he didn't come home. Mamí got the police involved and we all stayed off school and work to look for him." Santana said. Brittany stroked her cheeks and gave her a sad look.
"You don't have to carry on," she said.
"I do. One of the football players said something to Quinn about how they told him to go and jump in front of a train. She rang me straight away and told me to go and check by there, in case he had, you know, done it. So we went and we didn't see anything. The police were talking to my parents and I snuck away into the forest. I got a bit in and saw Mat's batman backpack by a tree. He wouldn't let it out of his sight, especially since I got him it for our birthday." Santana sniffed and wiped the tears on her cheeks. "I found him a few trees over. He had hung himself with his hulk belt because of how horrible people were to him." Santana whispered. Brittany sighed and pulled her against her chest.
"I'm sorry, baby," Brittany whispered.
"It's not your fault, Britt. It was like, twelve years ago. I've come to terms with it. Anyway, I stayed off school for a month after his funeral. When I went back, everyone knew and the police got involved with the boys who had made him do it and they all got excluded and it's on their permanent record. Quinn and I got promoted to head cheerleaders and we decided to make the best of our situation by joining the clubs that Mat was in. We thought if we were in the clubs, the head cheerleaders and popular girls, then the people in the clubs wouldn't get bullied and do something like Mat had done. We won nationals with our glee club, we went to comic con every year with the comic book club, we joined the debate team and got a few things changed in our school, like the anti-bullying policy. We got counsellors in for people with issues and bullying rates went down a shit ton. I hate that we had to lose my brother to sort things out but god knows how many more people we saved by doing the things he did all along." Santana said.
"I'm so proud of you for telling me and for everything you've had to overcome." Brittany kissed her gently.
"Thanks, Britt. There's so much more I need to tell you but I can't tonight. I feel terrible about seeing Ale and how rude I was to the girls and I'm exhausted." Santana said.
"They understand," Brittany said.
"They don't, but thank you for being here for me." Santana kissed her again.
"I'd do anything for you, baby," Brittany whispered. Santana smiled widely and hugged her tightly.
"I'd do anything for you too,
Britt." she whispered.
