A/N: The fifth book was very interesting to me in terms of Sirius and Harry's relationship, as well as Sirius's characterization and flaws. I'm going to touch on a lot of those themes in this fanfiction, one of them being how negatively Sirius is affected by Grimmauld Place, and how that affects his godson. Though we don't get much of Sirius's childhood in the books, I've come up with a back-story of my own to explain why I believe Sirius despised his family home so much. This (short) chapter is the start of that: Enjoy!

Life at Grimmauld Place was completely different than life at Hogwarts or the Marauder's Mansion; most of the days were spent cleaning up the house to make it inhabitable. Harry was slowly going back to his normal self, but often strayed off to his father's room if the loud noises throughout the house became overwhelming. Despite this, Harry was thoroughly enjoying spending time with all of his favorite people everyday.

Sirius, on the other hand, was less than happy about his living situation; being stuck in the house of his childhood abuse was taking a toll on him, and he often left the house for hours at a time during the day to get away from the overwhelming memories that had begun haunting his nightmares.

Harry noticed this almost immediately - he often found refuge in his father, and Sirius leaving the house every day began to worry him. After a couple of weeks of Harry watching his father leave after breakfast and return hours later for dinner, smelling of firewhiskey, he decided to discuss it.

That night, after all the kids had gone to bed, Harry snuck into his dad's room to wait for him to come upstairs; he felt like he barely spent time with him anymore, and he was beginning to worry that being in his childhood home was wearing Sirius down.

He heard the door open as Sirius walked in, and then it was quiet for a moment; Harry suspected Sirius was surprised to see him sitting on his bed and not tucked away in his room where he had left him.

"Pup?" Sirius asked, his voice gentle.

Harry looked up at him and tried to make his facial expression mimic the one of concern that his father wore. "Dad?"

Sirius smirked. "Can I help you, Mr. Potter? I'm trying to go to sleep and-" Sirius plopped down on the bed beside his son and threw an arm over his shoulders, "seeing as you're taking up my bed, it's going to make it quite difficult for me."

Harry smiled despite himself and leaned into him. "What's wrong, dad?"

Sirius was taken aback. "What do you mean? You're the one that came to my room." Sirius said, poking Harry once in the ribs. "I should be asking you that question."

Harry shook his head. "I'm pretty content here - my friends are here and I'm living with my father. But I didn't grow up here and…" Harry trailed off and Sirius immediately knew what his son was implying. With a sigh, Sirius removed his arm from around Harry and Harry frowned. His dad had never denied him affection and his change in demeanor bothered him greatly.

"Puppy, I appreciate the concern, but don't worry about me. I'll be okay… you go get some sleep." Sirius said quietly, though his eyes were looking away and he was turning to leave the bed and go somewhere else.

"No, dad-" Harry said quickly, grabbing Sirius's arm. Sirius turned to him, his facial expression one of surprise and slight hurt. "You leave every day, I see that you're hurting and you hate it here. I-I want to help. Please let me, Siri."

Sirius's anguished expression softened slightly and he sat down again on the bed, but made no move to get close to Harry. "Kiddo, it's not your job-"

"Why can't it be? You've helped me so much, Sirius, it's my turn. I thought we told each other everything?" Harry said, scooting closer to his father.

"We do, I already told you about my family last year, remember? It's not a topic I really want to talk about often…" Sirius mumbled, looking down.

Harry grabbed Sirius hand and squeezed it before placing his head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for some time before Sirius finally, quietly spoke. "The reason I don't cook here is because my parent's used to lock me in the kitchen cupboard - similar to what the Dursley's did to you. Only… there was a banshee or a boggart they often left in the cupboard and I was wandless and… and… " Sirius trailed off and shivered, as if remembering bad memories.

Harry squeezed his father's hand again and waited. He didn't want to make Sirius talk about his bad memories, but he did want him to feel better and enjoy the rest of the summer. The best way for that would be for him to face his demons.

"I avoid the drawing room as much as possible too - it has the family tapestry for one thing, and I have no desire to remind myself that I got burned off of it… but also, if you look on that old rug in there, you'll see a small dried blood stain. I won't give you details, but that was my blood from when they…" Sirius took a deep breath and tried to steady his shaking hands - Harry held on tight to the one intertwined with his hand. "I told you I ran away to live with your dad right? That stain is from the day I ran away."

They sat in silence again for a few minutes, but this time Harry broke it. "You really hate it here, don't you Siri?"

"I despise it." Sirius mumbled, sounding uncharacteristically bitter.

"I just… I miss you." Harry mumbled, looking away. He was feeling torn - he didn't want to ask his father to stay in a house he hated more often than necessary just to keep him company, but he also didn't want to spend the entire summer only seeing him at meals. He had never had a father, and he didn't want to lose him so quickly.

"Then I'll stay here," Sirius said quickly, looking down at Harry with sincerity in his eyes.

"Can't I go out with you?" Harry asked hopefully.

"You know you can't puppy," Sirius said sadly. "It's not safe with Voldemort after you, even if I'm with you. If they outnumber us in an attack, you'd be gone for sure. I won't take that risk with you."

"My dad and you took that risk when you were my age," Harry said, looking down angrily. It wasn't fair for Sirius to tell Harry not to be rash when Sirius was twice as bad as a child.

"And Mr. Potter tanned both of our hides afterward; I don't want to have to do that to you. Besides, it was different… James nor I had a huge price on our head in Voldemort's eyes, not then at least. You, on the other hand… he'd do anything to get to you. I won't lose you," Sirius said fiercely, pulling Harry into a tight hug. "So, the only option I see is for me to stay here. Okay?"

Harry was hesitant to agree - the pain and hollowness in Sirius's eyes at the thought of being trapped in Grimmauld Place was evident. "No, dad. Forget I said anything."

"What's the matter? I want to spend time with you too and the only way we can do that-"

"We eat dinner together and hang out at night, it's alright." Harry said pulling out of the hug and looking down. "I can't condemn you to stay here. It'd be like you asking me to stay at Privet Drive with you. I would do it, but I'd hate every minute of being there."

Sirius smiled sadly. "This is rubbish."

Harry nodded his agreement.

"Well, I've got to go to Diagon Alley to purchase some stuff tomorrow anyway - I've kind of just been stalling time the past few weeks that I've been going out. After tomorrow though, I'll limit my excursions to once a week and if that becomes unbearable, you'll be the first I talk to, okay pup?" Sirius said, ruffling Harry's hair.

Harry smiled and shook his head. "I don't want you to be here more than you have to be… I don't want to be a burden."

"Harry, you'd never be a burden. Besides, you make this hell hole bearable. We'll have fun this week here, and I'll avoid the rooms that bring back the worst memories, okay? If things get too bad you and I can talk about the options, but I'm going to spend as much time with my boy as possible. I'm sorry if I made you feel alone this week." Sirius pulled Harry back into a hug and the two stayed like that until Sirius reluctantly sent Harry back to bed in his room to get some sleep.


"Here, puppy." Sirius said the following afternoon, walking into Harry and Ron's shared room and dumping three bags of clothes on the floor. "New from Diagon Alley - I think I got everything except formal robes since you bought those last year. Get rid of the old clothes that don't fit you anymore and bring them downstairs when you get a chance."

Both Harry and Ron sat gaping in front of their game of Wizard's Chess. "Dad, you didn't have to buy me all that! You just bought me clothes last year when I left the Dursley's."

Sirius sat down beside Harry and smirked. "Yes, I did, but in case you haven't noticed, you've grown about four inches taller and I think I've managed to fatten you up a bit. See, look… your pants are way too short and that shirt's just out of style." Sirius poked Harry's ribcage and Harry pushed back at him with a smile.

Sirius stood up and ruffled Harry's hair. "Go through your old stuff and bring it downstairs to me sometime tonight, okay?"

Harry nodded and smiled at his father's retreating figure; Ron, on the other hand, looked slightly jealous at Harry's new wardrobe. "Must be nice to have a filthy rich godfather." He mumbled, standing up and walking over to his bed.

"What?" Harry asked, taken aback.

"You know - sweets whenever you want them, new clothes instead of hand-me-downs… a Firebolt, for crying out loud!" Ron exclaimed, flopping down on his bed.

Harry sat for a moment in shock. "W-well, I mean, it does sound great and all, and I'm really grateful that he gives me so much, but honestly, we could be living in a cave for all I care… really." He added the last part at Ron's speculative glance.

"Sure… you don't know what it's like, always wearing your brother's old clothes, only getting sweets on special occasions." Ron mumbled, looking away angrily.

Harry felt his face fluster - he knew Ron got slightly jealous over money, and he had been very careful for four years not to flaunt his family's small fortune in front of his best mate; however, he felt this was going too far.

"Really, Ron? I've told you about my childhood. I didn't have parents, or any guardian that loved me like you had. Not to mention, I hadn't even tasted chocolate before I got on the Hogwarts Express - I was lucky if I got a decent meal as a kid, much less sweets. I wore Dudley's hand-me-downs my entire life, and trust me, they didn't fit nearly as well on me as Percy's old jumper fits on you! The only reason Sirius gives me all this stuff is because he realizes how bad my relatives treated me." Harry huffed and went over to the first bag to see what Sirius had bought for him, moreso as an excuse not to look at Ron.

"Mate," Ron mumbled sheepishly. "I'm sorry… Sirius and you get along so well, sometimes I forget that you haven't been with him for your entire life. I didn't mean that, it's just… hard…"

He trailed off and Harry nodded. "Forget about it, I understand."

Ron shook his head. "Blimey, I'm an oaf."

"No kidding," Harry said, grinning at his friend. Ron threw a pillow at his head, and just like that, the argument was forgotten - though Harry did not miss the longing glances Ron occasionally shot the pile of clothes that Harry was hanging in his wardrobe. Harry resolved to occasionally buy Ron a new shirt or jumper and place it somewhere he would "find" it throughout the year, if only to give Ron something nice to brag about.