Unintentional Hero
Author: Nightstar Fury of Nightstar Productions
Rated: M for a variety of things that will happen
Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid
Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD
15; Drill Sergeant Haddock
After Hayden left the school with Toothless, he just flew wherever he could to get away. Having Ethan ask him what it was like being overseas in Afghanistan, asking what he saw and did: those were not things that Hayden wanted to share or think of when he was trying to be happy by spending time with his sister, friends, and now girlfriend. He knew he'd never forget what happened over there but he didn't want to have it come to him all the time either. Hayden just wanted to forget it all, it was painful to think about and he instantly reacted to thinking the base was under attack when the school bell-which sounded like a war horn, rang to signal students to get to their next class. Hayden knew his sister and probably Avery were concerned for him seeing he kind of blanked out after Ethan's question. But after the bell, no. Hayden had to get out of there and fast. He couldn't let himself think he was at war again, he was safe again, he wasn't on the front lines anymore. Hayden told Ethan the truth about the front lines without revealing details though: a lot happens and know that it can never be forgotten, unseen, or undone no matter how much you wanted to change it, unsee it, or forget it. And that was Hayden's problem, he couldn't forget and he desperately wanted too.
Hayden checked his watch, it was about 2:00pm, still thirty minutes of the school day remained so what did he do with half an hour of free time? Continue flying on Toothless, he loved being up in the air with him and right now he could fly without fear of being shot down. By now he assumed Camille had probably told their father he was home for a day then had to return to Fort Titanwing on Visithug Isle. He really didn't want to see his father, but he wouldn't be an ass to the man no matter how many fights they got into he still loved his old man. Maybe he could go see Craig for now, Gobber as Hayden had always called his Godfather. Craig Borkson, Hayden's unofficial uncle figure who was best friends with his father. Hayden turned Toothless and headed to the diner hoping Craig would be there. Landing in the parking lot, Hayden saw the diner to be open but quiet, Toothless laid down a sunny spot while Hayden entered the diner taking his hat off out of respect. "Can I help you?" Asked the hostess.
"The boss man here?" Hayden questioned.
"Sure is, I'll get him for you. Name to give him?" The hostess asked.
"Just tell him his Godson is here, he'll know who I am." Hayden replied with a soft smile. The hostess nodded as Hayden found a seat at the counter and sat down.
"Can I get ya something to drink?" Asked one of the waitresses with a bright smile.
"Coffee please?" Hayden said, she nodded and grabbed a mug and placed it before him-then grabbed the coffee pot and filled it for him, she put it down on the burner and slid him the sugars and creamer. "Thanks." Hayden offered a smile to her.
"No trouble at all sir. And thank you for your service." The waitress replied as she then ushered off the take care of other customers. Hayden closed his eyes, his service? He hated being thanked for his service, hated being thanked for the things he'd done. Hayden sighed as he looked into his coffee mug, into the almost black liquid and saw Gobber standing behind him.
"It's good to see yew again laddie." Gobber offered a smile, Hayden turned his head to see the man he saw as his uncle standing there with his standard smile. Hayden stood up and hugged him, Gobber hugged back tightly. "I've missed ya."
"I've missed you too, Gobber. It's good to see you again to." Hayden sighed, finally a little comfort. Gobber had always been there for him in so many ways before and after his mother had died. Gobber was his and Camille's legal Godfather, he was also their unofficial uncle since he he'd been around since before they were born. He was Gerald's oldest friend too, having been friends since their elementary school days. Gobber was a veteran, he lost his arm in his early dragon training days, then his leg in one of the older wars because of mine field saving a friend. Hayden knew if anyone could help him cope even just a little right now, it would be Gobber. The two split apart and sat back down at the counter, Gobber being given a coffee by the waitress who had given Hayden his.
"How home ya here for this time?" Gobber asked him.
"Just today, I gotta go back tomorrow. My tour ended on the 10th, finally. Stationed in Visithug right now, bought to turn two hundred civilians into soldiers with BCT..." Hayden replied gently.
"Ah, twenty-four hour pass eh?" Gobber chuckled, "I remember those." Now Gobber saw Hayden's eyes, they looked sad and deep in thought. "Alright...Talk to ole Gobber. What's on yer mind?"
Hayden could tell him the truth, that he felt like his mind was being torn in two with being unable to forget everything in the last eighteen months. "How do you do it, Gobber?" Hayden asked, "How do you live your life normally after war?"
"I just do, lad. It's not easy and I know what you're goin through but I can tell ya right now that bottlin it will make it worse." Gobber told him. "Tell me what happened?" Hayden sighed heavily now looking at him.
"There's just...so much I've seen, done, heard...and it never stops." Hayden stared into his coffee again, still seeing images flash across his mind.
"I know but you've done good. Yer father told me about you earnin the Dragon Heart and Distinguished Service Cross." Gobber added as Hayden just closed his eyes again and sighed heavily.
"Gobber, do you know how I earned the Dragon Heart medal..." Hayden asked, Gobber shook his head. "I shot a soldier point blank range when I was seventeen years old. And that soldier was a kid...A fuckin kid just like me, my age and I killed him...And I was awarded a medal for it." Hayden clenched his fist, closing his eyes tightly. "And now every time I got to sleep, I see me shooting my pistol and hitting that soldier and when I get up...I only see myself laying dead on the ground."
"Hayden, I know it isn't easy but the Dragon Heart is awarded to a soldier who was wounded in hostile enemy forces. You didn't earn it because you killed someone." Gobber told him.
"Yeah...I got shot by that kid saving my teammate from being shot, and then I shot that kid to save myself...I killed a kid, Gobber and I earned medal for getting shot and shooting that kid...I killed him and I feel like I...only killed myself." Hayden lowered his head now as Gobber put a hand on his back.
"The first is never the easiest to get through, lad. And I can tell by your eyes that not only have you killed but you seen death too. Of your teammates, friends...And it scares you." Gobber patted his back.
"I lost one of my BCT buds four months into deployment...And it kills me remembering him hold my hand and saying it was a pleasure to work and serve with me, and then he said so long. He was airlifted...and died that night." Hayden closed his eyes tightly.
"I know, I saw on TV...You held a nice ceremony for 'im too. You know he's buried here in Berk at the Military Angels Cemetery, don't ya?" Gobber said, Hayden looked at him now and nodded.
"And I can't bring myself to go. I couldn't on leave and I can't now..." Hayden looked down. Gobber rubbed his back.
"It'll be alright kiddo, you're a tough one like yer mother and I. You'll be alright in time, just remember why you do what you do and it'll get easier over time. Also...talk about it. Maybe with your dad?" Gobber suggested.
"I haven't talked to him since my eighteenth birthday. I talked to Camille, Seth, friends but not Dad because all we do is fight about me being in the military." Hayden mumbled now, his mood altering.
"He's boar-headed and stubborn, Hayden. Always has been since he was a wee 3rd grader when I met 'im. But that doesn't mean he loves yew or yer sister any less." Gobber told him.
"I really wish he could prove that, Gobber...But every conversation is a fight with him. Tellin me what I'm doing is wrong, that I'm gonna get killed, that the military isn't for me and God's after that whole fiasco where my team thought I was a POW and almost was if not for Toothless...After that, my father just argued with me. Didn't ask if I was okay, nothing...Just started yellin at me so I haven't talked to him since. We spoke five minutes on the phone when I called to wish Camille happy birthday and haven't talked since." Hayden huffed.
"It's hard for him lad. He lost your mother who was also a POW, so was Cloud Jumper. Ya gotta see his side of things with knowing at the time that his sixteen year old son left high school and joined the military, and then was immediately deployed. And he only got to see ya for a week after ten months before you were rushed back for what...another eight months?" Gobber asked.
"Yeah...Now stationed in Visithug at Fork Titanwing." Hayden nodded. "And I know he lost mom...I know he's scared but is telling me what I'm doing is wrong, that I won't survive, that I shouldn't be there...Is that anyway to express his fear? Because it sounds a lot like anger to me that I'm not livin his kind of life. He thinks I should be a lawyer, defend people. Well fuck...I'm in the military and defend the Archipelago, why isn't...that good enough for him, Gobber...Why aren't I...good enough for him? Why can't he be proud of me?..." Hayden asked keeping his head down and eyes closed.
"He is, he's just scared and that's why it comes off as anger...But he does love you and just wants you to be safe. You can't blame him for worrying about you when you've been shot three times, and were almost a POW yourself. He almost lost you like he lost your mother. He knows you're doing the right thing, but he is still human..." Gobber said lifted Hayden's chin making him look at him, "And he still gets scared when he thinks he might never see his only son again." Hayden looked back to his coffee now. Hayden knew Gobber was right, his father was scared and his father wasn't good at showing any emotion other than anger but it still hurt Hayden to know his father couldn't just give in to his emotions and show him he cared, just once.
"I know Gobber...But just once...I wish he'd swallow his pride and showed me he cared, told me he was proud of me and that...he supports me." Hayden sighed.
"He will one day, he's just stubborn and as for everything else...I know it's not easy to continue to see, and I know it's hard to be here where it's safe when you were in a place for so long that wasn't. I know you still react to loud sounds, and you flash back often. I'm gonna tell you something about that and I want ya listen carefully...okay?" Hayden nodded to him looking at his Godfather. "I've been out of the army fer almost ten years now...And I promise you that you will never forget any of what you see, hear, or do. I can still taste the powder from the barrel of my gun, and I can hear my Sergeant screamin 'Run, Soldier, Run'. I can feel the backpack on my shoulders. God, it weighed a ton. And I see death in every single thought. They taught me how to put that uniform on...I just can't get it off. You see lad, when you become a part of the military, it becomes a part of you. And it stays with you, forever. You'll never forget what happened, and all you can do is hold your head high and know that what you did was for a good cause and know that you saved more lives than you lost or took." Gobber put his hand on Hayden's shoulder now.
"Thanks, Gobber...I really needed to hear that." Hayden nodded as he hugged his uncle again. "I better get goin, only home til tomorrow. Promised Camille I'd see her after school." Hayden got up putting down a few dollars for the coffee that he hardly drank.
"Yer welcome laddie and if ya eva need to talk, yew know how ta find me..." Gobber said with a smile.
"I'll remember." Hayden nodded as he hugged Gobber again then left the diner and whistled for Toothless as he sped off to the Haddock house where sure enough his father was home, so was Camille. He assumed Avery, Rachel, Felix, Seth, and TJ were all at their own houses. Hayden knew he'd have to see Avery again before he left but thankfully he still had until about 7pm of the next night before another two hour flight back to Visithug. Hayden sighed as he dismounted Toothless and sent him off to the barn to relax while Hayden reached the door and walked in seeing Camille immediately rush to hug him.
"Thank Thor you're alright, Hayden. Avery and I were so worried when you rushed off...Don't worry, she slapped Ethan for what he said...And then got herself suspended until Tuesday." Camille mumbled the last part. Hayden's eyes widened a bit, Avery slapped Ethan for what he'd said to him and was now suspended from school for it. He sighed, he'd definitely have to go see her now.
"I'm fine sis just...I'm gonna need time to adjust to being...safe again." Hayden remarked. Camille nodded understanding, now Gerald stood in the room leaning against the door frame that connected the kitchen to the living room. "Dad." Hayden stated.
"Hayden." Gerald replied, the two stayed silent now before Camille stood between them.
"Alright you two, enough. Every time you stand in the same room as one another I feel like war is gonna break out." She saw Hayden flinch at the word war and she mouthed an apology to him. "You're his father, and you're his son. He's your father and you're his son. Can you two please not fight? This is the only time Hayden gets to be home and I don't want to spend another night where you two are arguing and then Hayden doesn't contact anyone for months because he's mad at you, Dad..." Camille stated.
"I didn't start it." Hayden remarked.
"You started it the day you joined the military without telling anyone until the night before you left." Gerald scoffed.
"You started it the day you decided that I'd never be good enough no matter I did. I'm not gonna stand here and fight with you again, this time...I'll just leave." Hayden warned, Camille glared at her father but they were pleading eyes for him to stop. Gerald-who had been about to say something just sighed heavily and closed his eyes.
"I'm glad you're home, Hayden. Even if it is just until tomorrow night." Gerald said calmer, "Making your favorite for dinner. Shepard's Pie." He added.
"Thanks, I guess. Didn't have to go through the trouble though. Anything is better than MRE's for eighteen months." Hayden stated.
"Craig and yer mother have told me they aren't that good." Gerald forced a laugh, Hayden wanted to mumble but at least his father was trying so he supposed he should too.
"They suck...Vacuumed packed food, definitely became an acquired taste..." Hayden shrugged with a small smile. Camille sighed in relief now, at least they were getting along...for now. A few hours later, they'd all be sitting around the living room talking about how life had been for Camille and Gerald on Berk but Hayden didn't talk a lot about his time in Afghanistan. Around 6:30pm, Hayden left to go see Avery and actually thanked her for what she did to Ethan but also added that it wasn't necessary. They hung out until maybe 9:30pm when her parents said that Hayden had to go for the night and since he was now her boyfriend and understood why she slapped Ethan they said the two could hang out for the day tomorrow given Avery was suspended and Hayden had to return to Visithug the next night. When Hayden got home, he went right to bed having been exhausted.
(The Next Day)
Hayden picked Avery up right after Camille went to school and the two went out for a walk together in the park, then got lunch together on Hayden's treat of course and talked about anything they could. Hayden even took her for a short flight on Toothless and they just enjoyed the day together. When school let out at 2:30pm, they all hung out at the Haddock house until Hayden checked the clock on the wall seeing it was 6:45pm and that meant it was time to leave to get back Visithug. Camille saw him look a the clock and then get up with a sigh. "Time to leave already?" Camille asked gently.
"You know I only had twenty-four hours...I gotta leave at 7 to get back for 9..." Hayden sighed as he went to his room to change back into uniform, this time it was he green and black full dress with the metals and name tag that read: Lt. Haddock. Hayden grabbed his backpack and got it on his back looking at all of them. "Alright come on, take your hugs while ya can." Camille hugged him first as she tried not to cry against him. Next was Seth, TJ, and Felix with fist bumps or high fives. Rachel gave him a short hug, so did his uncle Samuel and aunt Melody-then it was Avery's turn and she hugged him tightly.
"Gonna miss you." Avery told him.
"I'll miss you too but we'll talk as much as we can okay?" Hayden told her, she nodded they shared a light kiss then split apart. Avery stood with Camille as Hayden faced his father and offered a handshake to the man. Gerald reached his hand out to shake Hayden's then pulled him in for a tight hug and closed his eyes.
"Don't be a stranger...Keep in contact, son..." Gerald said softly. Hayden-though shocked ended up hugging his father back, "Stay safe, okay?" Gerald added after the hug ended and Hayden stepped back with a nod then prepared to leave the house to get Toothless. They followed him outside as he adjusted the saddle and jumped on it preparing to take off. He looked back once to see Camille and Avery trying to smile but still crying. Seth, TJ, Felix, and Rachel just stood smiling to him. His uncle Sam and aunt Mel were waved lightly with smiles, then his eyes fell to his father and they stated at one another before Hayden rubbed Toothless's head getting a warble from him.
"Ready bud?" Hayden asked, Toothless crooned in response preparing to take off in a crouch and his wings up for launch. "Alright then, let's hit the sky and get to base!" Hayden called out with a grin. Toothless roared out as he launched finally and took to the slow darkening sky heading North towards Visithug.
(Two Hours Later)
Finally landing at the base at 8:59pm, he dismounted and stretched his back while rubbing Toothless's head. "Good work bud, go on and relax. There should be some fish in there for ya." Hayden smiled, Toothless licked his face and rushed off while Hayden reported to Major Masons first to say he was back and then he went to his barrack. "I'm back boys!" Hayden announced with a grin.
"Welcome back, Haddock. How was the time off?" Matthews asked first getting off his bed.
"It was fine, got to see everyone I wanted too." Hayden replied as he went to his bunk to unpack and get ready for bed given he was tired as shit still.
"And you got a girlfriend, she cool with the whole distance thing?" Theo chuckled a bit.
"She said she was so we'll see happens, I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't want to stay together though. Military life and relationships don't work if both aren't in it fully. I know I can deal with it but I don't know how she will, especially if I get deployed again." Hayden sighed as he kicked off his boots and pulled off his shirt to change into simple light tan and he was wearing gray sweatpants while laying in bed.
"So this girl, she's the one we met on leave eight months ago?" Lennox asked.
"Yep. My Sky Eyes...She's the blond haired, blue eyed goddess who goes by Avery Hofferson." Hayden smiled closing his eyes. "And I'm still mad at all of you for how you acted when I was on Berk, don't do that shit again...Seriously, some respect if you wouldn't mind. I'm going to sleep...Good night." Hayden huffed rolling over and ignoring them.
"We were just teasing!" Theo stated quickly.
"I know you were but that doesn't make it any less disrespectful. I got work to do tomorrow morning, good night." Hayden said again. They stayed quiet about ten minutes until they saw him fast asleep and being it was almost ten at night, they all turned in too. Tomorrow was a new day with all new recruits coming to For Titanwing to become soldiers.
(The Next Day)
Hayden was up at the crack of dawn to shower and get dressed in his BDU, today started Basic Training for new recruits and Hayden was going to be one of the Drill Sergeants to a whole new squad of twenty-five men. He'd always be leader of Alpha Fire though, that group was already told that every deployment they would be together and that would be their name because it was a pain in the ass to change it just because they went somewhere. So Hayden would always have the Alpha Fire with him for anything and he was grateful too, he loved his friends even if they did piss him off sometimes. His squad was up around 7:30am to get ready too. When they were all set, Hayden led them to the mess hall for breakfast and then they were sent back to the barrack while Hayden and the other five Drill Sergeants were debriefed about the new recruits coming today.
There would be two hundred of them and there were six Drill Sergeants so twenty-five each. Hayden's group would be placed in the barrack near Alpha Fire's so he could keep an eye on them too. Just like with his own BCT, today would be the same. The recruits would be sent off the bus, grab their bags and head right to the main building to check in, get their uniforms, bags, hygienic things, and more. It would be a long day and then they'd be grouped to their DS. What joy for Hayden to go through again only this time...He was the DS and not the recruit. The recruits arrived while it was down pouring around 11am. The whole process went through bringing them to around 4:30pm when they were getting assigned barracks and a Drill Sergeant. The other DS's were actually lower rank than him so that made Hayden just about in charge of the 88th Visithug Infantry-Titanwing Company. The name of his recruits squadron was dubbed Nightwave so when he saw these twenty-five boys and girls before him, he honestly only grinned remembering his own Basic Training when he got to the D barrack, this group was B barrack beside A.
"Hello boys and girls!" Hayden greeted with a grin to them as he stood at parade rest. "Welcome to Fort Titanwing! Good for you joining the military, you just became apart of an elite group of people who stand up to defend the Archipelago... And for the next ten weeks, your sorry asses belong to me while I turn you from civilian to soldier. My name is Lieutenant Hayden Haddock and you will call me Drill Sergeant Haddock."
