Unintentional Hero

Author: Nightstar Fury of Nightstar Productions

Rated: M for a variety of things that will happen

Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid

Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD

22: No Man Left Behind

After Hayden had passed out against Toothless from the gunshot wound, no one understood what had happened to make him actually hit the ground, crying and yelling out as loud as he did. It hadn't just been the squadron who saw him do it, it was also the Division, Brigade, Regiment, Battalion, and Company leaders who had rushed over when the extraction plane landed. It had only been a small plane that held a platform of sorts, something used to transport vehicles but it had been the only thing available to rescue an entire platoon of forty-eight men, forty-seven actually with Ritka not being present. They knew Ritka was dead, Hayden told them that when he reached the plane and also knew Ritka had apparently saved Hayden but that still didn't tell anyone what had happened and everyone wanted to. Unfortunately, Hayden blacked out from what was being assumed as blood loss or exhaustion. The medics hadn't been to sure-given how upset he was before blacking out, it could have been a mixture of both things.

Hayden was taken right to the med tent, his arm treated and wrapped but yet he remained unconscious for a while. His squadron was in and out in small groups to check on him, even some of the Ember Fire platoon had done so too. Still in Hayden's hand was Ritka's dog tags: it was as if he refused to let them go even in his unconscious state. That mission had been a full day ago and Hayden showed no signs of waking up so they were actually getting ready to send him to the hospital, thinking there might have been more damage than they thought. The leaders of the different sections agreed that if Hayden didn't wake up by the end of the second day, they would airlift him to the nearest hospital. It was just after lunch time on the second day as Theo, Lennox, Jasmine, Samantha, Matthews, and Tarelto were standing around watching him.

"I hope he's okay." Jasmine said.

"Don't we all...everyone is confused about what happened before he got to the extraction point...We know we lost Ritka and he became a POW but...why did Hayden hit the ground and just freak out like that...?" Tarelto asked.

"His sister, father, and girlfriend have been calling his phone since this morning. Major told us to ignore it but I feel like someone should tell them Haddock was shot and has been unconscious for two days..." Holgerson sighed.

"He holds himself together so well but I really think he's suffering a lot," Lennox mentioned.

"We've only seen him cry once before yesterday, and it was when he got that letter from I think his Dad...and now this with Ritka. Something really bad must of happened to make the Lieutenant ignore his shot arm and hit the ground yelling out."

-Hayden's Nightmare-

He was wandering through the darkness:it was completely silent. "Where am I?"he asked. Suddenly there was a gunshot: he whipped around and saw the kid he'd shot the first time he ever killed anyone since deployment. Another shot rang out as he saw Richards get got in the neck, blood squirting and him falling to the ground dead. It was an endless reel of people dying or Hayden with his gun raised and shooting people. He stood in darkness, in front of a field of bodies. Friends he'd lost or enemies he'd killed. Hayden backed up shaking as the gun dropped from his hands.

"Haddock!" he heard someone shout-it sounded like Ritka. Hayden turned to find him, laying down with his arm up. "Help...me...Don't let me die here..." Ritka pleaded with him.

"I-I won't! I'll get you free and we'll all get out of here, Ritka. I promise!" Hayden told him as he tried to pull him free, then a shot rang out and he froze. In his hands was his pistol, recently fired.

"Had—dock...Why?..." Hayden's eyes widened as he saw where his pistol was aimed-at Ritka's chest and now he was bleeding profusely, coughing up blood. Hayden dropped the gun and backed up in fear. "Why did...you...kill m-me...I thought...we...were...friends..." The last word was a weak whisper as Ritka died there, then went up in flames, disappearing from Hayden's sight.

"Steven! Steven! We...are friends! I would never...hurt you!" Hayden called out, a dark figure stood over him wearing a black cloak. "Who are you, what do you want? Where am I?"Hayden demanded.

"Me? I'm someone you know. I know all about you, Hayden Haddock..." The figure ripped off his cloak and Hayden was only staring at himself. "Because I am you...I came to show you who you really are...You're a murderer. Look at all the people you've killed, or have been killed because of you. They were your teammates, your friends...And under your command...they died. You abandoned Oivind after promised to have his back. You let mere privates roam an area you didn't secure and lost Richards and Parkins when you were over fifteen minutes away. All these people died because of you, or by your gun. You killed a mere child too." The shadow Hayden told him.

"I-I didn't have...a choice. He was going to shoot Matthews, and...kill me..." Hayden said quickly.

"You had kicked him off you and got his gun away. You could have run and made the chopper...But you killed him instead. A young child no older than yourself, now how do you think his family feels? Is it fair you get to live and see your family again but not him? And what of Ritka...The soldier you killed." The shadow Hayden remarked.

"I didn't...kill Ritka...He died in action, he was trapped and told me to run! This isn't real, I didn't kill him. I didn't shoot him! He saved...my life!" Hayden yelled out.

"But you left him to die there alone. You could of kept forces back, you could've called for backup, you could of done anything in the world...but you chose to leave him there."

"He told me to leave! I didn't...kill him..." Hayden whimpered now.

"No matter how you look at this, it's the same. A man who says he leaves no man behind and you left one of your own teammates to save yourself. You might not have shot him with your gun, but you left him to die and because of you, he is dead now. His fiance and and daughter lost him, can you face them like Ritka asked you to? Can you tell his fiance that she won't be marrying him because you left him there? Can you tell his daughter that her Daddy isn't coming home because you left him to die in the building? He was still alive when you left him Hayden...He was still alive and fighting for his life but you abandoned him and then the building was blown to hell while you you made it away safely. You killed him, Hayden...Ritka is dead because of you."

"No...No! It's not...true! I didn't kill him!" Hayden hit his knees crying and holding himself, "I didn't...kill...him..."

"You're no soldier...You're just a murderer playing dress up in a soldier's uniform." The voice became distant. "No one made you pull the trigger, Hayden...You chose to do it. And when someone chooses to kill, it makes them a killer. You chose to leave Ritka behind...You killed him, it's your fault he's dead now. You're a killer...Nothing more than a heartless killer." The voice faded as Hayden was left in the darkness, staring at the lifeless bodies of the people he'd killed or had died...because of him.

He covered his head with his hands before, "AHHHHHHHH!" Hayden yelled out loudly.

-End Hayden's Nightmare-

He'd yelled outside of the nightmare and he shot up from the medical cot in a cold sweat, panting hard. "Woah! Lieutenant, what's wrong?!" Theo asked quickly, Hayden took a moment to realize where he was and who was around. He wasn't in the darkness anymore, he was in the medical tent with members from his squadron around. How had...he gotten here? Pain shot through his right arm as he held it tightly, cringing.

"Are you alright?" Jasmine asked inching towards him but Hayden pulled back from her reach.

"St-stay back..." he said quickly and she stepped back from him. He tried to calm himself, it had...just been a nightmare. He wasn't in the darkness or surrounded by bodies of fallen friend or enemy soldiers anymore. Just a nightmare...That's...all it was. "I'm...sorry I just...didn't know where I was for a minute..." Hayden admitted.

"It's alright...Are you okay? How's your arm?" Jasmine asked.

"It just hurts...I've been shot before, it's nothing...I can't handle. Where's...Toothless?" Hayden asked, remembering that his dragon had been beside him when he returned from the missions.

"At the barrack...he's been worried about you. You've been out for nearly two full days," Lennox said, "Major Huntington was getting ready to have you to airlifted you to a hospital if ya didn't wake up."

"I have?" Hayden asked now.

"Yeah, you...blacked out after we got back. You...hit your knees crying and then yelling out as loud as you could, just like now when you woke up. Oh and your sister, girl, and Dad have been calling non stop about 6am their time," Tarelto informed him. It was then Huntington, and Naylor: the Battalion leader walked in calmly.

"Good to see you're awake, Haddock. How you feelin?" Lt. Naylar asked now.

"Not sure how I should feel after everything, if you want complete honesty, if you want a lie...I'm perfectly fine." Hayden remarked.

"We prefer honesty. Can you tell us what happened?" Major Huntington asked him. Hayden looked down, he felt the cold metal of Ritka's dog tags in his hand still as his eyes closed. He didn't want to talk about it, he just wanted to go to sleep or go flying. He wanted to clear his head but he doubted after apparently breaking down after landing from extraction because of Ritka's death-which none of them knew what happened, that they'd let him just go relax and think for a while.

"Can I...call my family first, and let them know I'm okay...?" Hayden asked. He knew it was a stretch but he wanted to try anyway.

"You have ten minutes, Lieutenant Haddock. We need to know what happened out there," Lt. Naylar stated, Hayden nodded with a thankful head bow almost as Theo took his phone out and handed it to him. Hayden checked the time, it was about 2pm for them so it had to be 11am in Berk. She'd be in the middle of class but he didn't know if he'd have time again so he might as well try. Hayden pressed the contact name and tried to lift his arm but he couldn't and he refused to let go of the dog tags so he just put it on speaker phone.

"Hayden! Thank Thor...Avery, Dad, and I have been calling since 6am...Where have you been? We haven't heard from you in a week almost..." Camille's voice came through the phone.

"Sorry sis...I was busy, I don't have the same free time here as I did in Afghanistan...Am I going to get you in trouble for talking on the phone at school?" Hayden asked.

"No, I'm at the doctors with Avery right now," Camille replied to him and he frowned: why were they at the doctor's office?

"Why in the name of Thor are you in there? Is it for you or Avery, are you both okay?" Hayden asked quickly, worry filling his tone.

"Avery doesn't feel good is all. Dad dropped us off and will be back when the appointment is over," Camille informed lightly.

"Put her on..." Hayden asked. There was some shuffling before a very sick-sounding Avery was heard.

"Hey...babe...I'm glad you're...okay. Been so...worried." Avery mumbled, and Hayden could tell she was trying to keep from throwing up too. Now he really wished he was home.

"Ssh, I'm sorry about that. Been on...a lot of missions lately." He wasn't going to tell them about being shot right now. Avery was sick as it was and Camille would have a fit. "How are you feeling, what's wrong?"

"Started...after a little after...waking up. I just felt so sick and went to the bathroom...I threw up, mom told me to go to the doctors so Cami and your dad brought me, Doc said I have...a fever of 103.5...Ugh...Hold on..." She moaned before the phone dropped and Hayden as well as a few others standing with him heard her throwing up.

"Yeah this is like the fifteenth time she's thrown up since 8am..." Camille's voice came through now.

"If that fever gets any higher, take her to the hospital. Ya understand me sis? That's not good. It's...11am there and if she started throwing up at 8am then she's now throwing up stomach bile and that's bad," Hayden said quickly.

"Don't worry bro, she'll be okay. I'm sure a visit from you would make her feeling better though..." Camille tried as Hayden rolled his eyes.

"Don't use Avery being sick to get me to come home. Unless someone dies, I'm not getting sent home right now...Just tell her to drink water, and eat saltines. That should help with the nausea," Hayden sighed softly.

"Of course but out of...curiosity...You two didn't like...do anything before you left right? I'm not gonna find out she's pregnant or anything?" Camille asked.

"CAMILLE!" Avery shouted.

Hayden's eyes widened at what his sister was assuming. Camille thought Avery might be pregnant?! "Are you fucking kidding me, Camille? You saw me the day I left! Yeah, I snuck back into Berk from Fort Titanwing, had sex with Avery and now six months later she's pregnant. If I got her pregnant, don't ya think it would have been a little more obvious before now?! No, we didn't sleep together, Cami. Gods! I'm not going to when I'm this active in the military, I wouldn't do that to her. And I'm a little appalled you would assume I'd do such a thing!" Hayden said firmly.

"I was just kidding..." Camille whimpered.

"I'm not laughing. I don't find it amusing and right now, I'm not in the mood. I got enough shit going on without you assuming I knocked Avery up on a one night stand, then bailed to Iraq the next day for Thor only knows how long," Hayden growled out.

"Haddock...Times up." Major Huntington stated now.

"You can just wait a Goddamn minute. What fucking happened two days ago isn't going anywhere, I wish I could forget but I can't. So just chill out! Gods, why is everyone taking shots at me today? I just fucking woke up after being shot in the arm and having probably the worst night of my entire life..." Hayden scoffed.

"You got shot...AGAIN!?" Camille screeched.

"Are we really going to do this again? It's the military, happens a lot to everyone. Least I'm not dead, Cami. I'm fuckin fine...Don't make a big deal out of it. Look, I gotta go. Keep me updated on Avery...Tell her I love her and hopefully, I can call back later," Hayden said.

"Okay...Love you bro and I'm sorry for making you mad," Camille said.

"It's fine. I'll talk to you later." Hayden sighed before hanging up and glancing to his Major who he had unintentionally snapped at in his rage. "Sorry, Major Huntington...I wasn't mad at you just...worried for my girlfriend and..." He stopped when his Major shook his head.

"It's alright son, don't worry about it. I've been yelled at before, I only pushed the time thing because with what happened to you...Well, there's a lot of paperwork and whatnot that we have to go into it. You returned injured and broke down on the ground...and we need to know what happened to cause that. You know the procedures..." Huntington said calmly.

"I do...just...didn't mean to snap at you. It's hard enough being away from everyone without knowing my girl is sick and I can't be there to take care of her..." Hayden sighed.

"It's alright. Will you tell us what happened on the mission, and...what happened to Specialist Steven Ritka?" Hayden clutched the dog tags tightly with his eyes closed.

"Everything had been fine for four hours after arriving. Nothing seen, no enemies around. There were only a few sectors left to check when Sharp Four called in that they were under fire and requesting back up. Then Sharp Three called in about us losing three jeeps to an RPG. With two units about twenty minutes from one another under fire, I did what I could. I sent all units close to either one to get there and help out. My unit went to Sharp Four, got them clear then we went to help the others. All grouped together...I got shot in the arm and...Ritka said he was going high to cover until the extraction bird arrived. I sent the team to the extraction bird and I went for Ritka on the building but it was hit by an RPG. I radioed for Ritka and he answered me...I found him trapped under a bunch of rubble. Only his body from the waist high was free of it..." Hayden took a breath as Samantha handed him a cup of water.

"I tried to move the rubble myself but with one arm it was useless...And then...he told me to get out of there. I stayed and kept trying but he stopped me as I was about to radio for help but he told me that it would only get the platoon killed to bring them back in, and we'd lose the extraction window...He kept telling me to leave him behind...He told me to save myself and the others and leave him. He...asked me to tell his fiancee and daughter that he was sorry...He gave me his tags and told me to leave. He told me to run and get safe, that he'd cover me. He pushed me away from him, told me to keep my promise to him...then he started firing at enemies to cover me. I got ten feet away before another RPG hit the building and it just crumbled down. I just ran away...I couldn't save him or even get his body back...He was...alive when I left him and not even two minutes later he was killed in the explosion. He died to save me and the squadron..." Hayden explained.

"We know it's hard. It's hard to lose a brother in the field, to bear witness to them becoming a POW...You can't blame yourself, Haddock. You did what you could and he knew it wouldn't matter so he made sure everyone got out safely. It happened to me in my first deployment days. You said he asked you tell his family?" Hayden nodded to his Major. "Then you and Strike One will return on a five day pass to inform the family. And you Lieutenant...will be heading his burial service."

"What? M-me?!" Hayden asked quickly.

"It was his wish for you to do it. And we try to grant those last wishes...He asked you, so we're sending you and your unit to handle it...You have to give the news, then be present for the burial. I'll have a carrier plane prepared...You all have a place to stay?" Naylar asked.

"Yeah..." Hayden gave a nod to him.

"You leave tomorrow at 0500. The arrangements will be ready by the time you arrive." Huntington said. "Is that okay with you, Lieutenant Haddock? I will send someone else if you can't handle it? I understand it might be ha-" Hayden stood up from the bed.

"I made a promise to him. And Hayden Haddock doesn't break his promises. Ever...I'll go." Hayden said firmly before leaving the tent to get to his barrack then getting on his bunk and laying there a minute then getting back up and going outside. "Toothless...Let's go." Hayden said.

"Wait...where are you going?" Lennox asked.

"There's something I gotta do...Stay here. That's an order!" Hayden got on Toothless's back then sped off with his dragon's signature whistle.

"HADDOCK! Get back here, no one is authorized for..." Lieutenant Naylar began but felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back to see the Division leader, Lt. General Evans there.

"Let him go, Lieutenant. He lives by a code of honor, of vows...Believe me, if he says he has to do this...then let him. He'll be okay," Lt. General Evans said softly. They watched as Toothless flew out of sight.

(An Hour Later)

A loud roar was heard as many of them rushed out while Toothless landed with Hayden on his back and laying motionless in his arms was Steven Ritka's body. "You...found him?" Theo asked.

"No man...left behind. I might not of been able to save his life, but I won't let his body rot on enemy lines with those fuckers. I fought twenty soldiers with Toothless to get his body back, and it was worth it because none of them stood a chance in hell of stopping me. Steven Ritka will be taken home. He died a hero, and he will return home as one too," Hayden said firmly as he carried Ritka's body to where it had to be-a section of the base where coffins rested for situations like these, the coffins that would return home and flag-draped. Hayden let the people do what they had to do to dress him to return home, then he was placed in the coffin. "You're going home my friend," Hayden whispered to him before the lid was closed. Hayden returned to his barrack and ignored everyone, he just laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. When night fell, Hayden didn't eat much and then went to bed around 9:30pm. The next few days were going to be hard but he had to do it, for Ritka, because he promised he would and Hayden never broke his promises. No matter how hard they were to fulfill.