Earthshine Ch. 3

Moira picked up a smooth, small stone and chucked it towards the lake. It skipped twice before bottoming out. She sighed and sat down on a log near the lake's bank, putting her chin in her palm. She'd been at Hogwarts nearly a week already and she was feeling a bit down. It was like she remembered, and yet not at all. Hogwarts had always had a special place in her memory. She came from a muggle family and had felt out of place until she got her letter when she turned eleven. During the school year she was unstoppable—she always felt like she was walking on clouds. She could be who she felt she was supposed to be. Her parents weren't exactly disapproving—they just didn't understand. How could they really? At least they accepted her.

But Hogwarts was different when one was working there. Sure, it was still magical and she found herself exploring hallways she never knew were there before. She was still learning shortcuts and secret passages, and there was nothing quite like the walls of portraits speaking to you as you walked by. But she had a job to do, and it was clear at the end of the first week that it was a more demanding job than even Poppy was used to.

Moira felt a chill envelope her, and her heart filled with dread. She cast her eyes towards to sky, trying her best not to move much or appear bothered. There they were. The reason her job was a heavier burden than it would be normally.

The dark, spectral creatures hovered high above her, sending little spindles of ice across the water's surface. She pulled her coat tighter across her body. It was a coat practical for September weather—not the weather induced by dementors. And all of this for Sirius…

She shivered, but whether or not it was from the sudden iciness in the air or from the thought of the criminal she could not determine.

Sirius. She thought bitterly, blowing on her hands in a sad attempt to warm them.

She stood up and turned to make her way back to the castle. A dementor lingered in the sky above her for a moment before letting her be. She hated feeling watched, especially by them. They were foul. Despite their presence at the school the subject had not come up yet with Remus. Well, at least not the reason for them being there. They had, of course, discussed the dementors more generally. It was no secret that Remus was brilliant at Defense Against the Dark Arts, and she had wished to brush up on her Patronus charm. Admittedly she had had little practice with many defense spells since leaving Hogwarts, and now seemed as good a time as any to hone in on the skill.

It seemed to come to Remus so naturally, and she had to admit to being a bit jealous about that. Sure, she had skills of her own. But his skills seemed so relevant in the moment, and it had taken a lot of courage and humility to ask him to tutor her. She felt like she was a teenager again asking him to help her practice before her O.W.L.s. She smirked at the thought. Remus was humble by nature, but she could tell as he guided her arm in the correct motion for a Patronus that he was bubbling with satisfaction at being able to show off a bit.

As she passed by Hagrid's hut she waved at the half giant. He was tending to his garden and examining large pumpkins, probably the largest she had ever seen. Hagrid was always kind to her, though they did not know each other well by any means. At any rate, it was good to have a friendly face among the dementors who stalked the grounds. He waved back, nodding jovially.

When she reached the hospital wing she started to shrug into her uniform but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw someone staring at her from across the room. He had his arms crossed and his head tilted to the side. His face bore the same expressionless (or perhaps disinterested) quality it always had.

"Severus." Moira mustered a smile and finished donning her nurse's apron once she had regained composure. "Nice to see you again."

He walked towards her, stalking like a great black vulture. A sickly Hufflepuff second year boy cowered in his bed, his blanket pulled up to his neck.

"Pomfrey came by my office earlier." He began slowly, waiting for the words to register with Moira. When she gave him a blank look he continued. "She said you had been in need of some flobberworm mucus and salamander blood, but I didn't have it for you a couple weeks ago."

"Oh." Moira blushed. Of course she should have realized that her lie would have come back to bite her. "I—"

"Wait." Severus shook his head. "Let's continue this where there aren't any eavesdropping students…" He turned back to the Hufflepuff and cast him a dark look. The boy looked away quickly. Moira and Severus stepped outside the hospital wing and into the hall.

"Look—I'm sorry I haven't stopped by to say hello Sev—"

"I didn't tell her you hadn't come by." Severus said. "I played along. You should have everything you need for your brew now."

"Thank you, Severus." She sighed in relief. "I've been needing to refresh our store of wiggenweld potion."

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Severus asked in his deadpan monotone voice. Moira swallowed hard. Clearly this wasn't a simple chit chat session.

"I haven't exactly been avoiding you…I just…well. There's been rumors, Severus."

"Rumors?" He arched an eyebrow.

"I'm sure you know. About you and…and You-Know-Who." She sighed. "You were a Death Eater. I trust Dumbledore to make informed decisions and all, but I didn't really know how to confront that myself. I didn't know what I'd say to you, I guess."

He didn't look one bit surprised. In fact, this looked as though it was the answer he was expecting and had prepared himself to hear.

"Well you are saying all you need to now. Dumbledore does not hire people lightly, and seeing as I've been here for quite some time now, I question why you doubted me."

"We were decent friends, Severus. You and I were brilliant Potions partners. But after what happened with Sirius," Severus grimaced and scowled, "I never know what to think."

"That lowlife." He growled, finally breaking past his stony expression.

"Yes, I'm not particularly fond of him myself." Moira said. "These dementors give me the chills. I can barely stand the sight of them."

"I suppose that's why you're here, then. Another pair of hands for the hospital wing?"

"Yes, mainly. I've also wanted to get a bit of hands-on training under my belt. I've been doing odd jobs here and there. Working for apothecaries, researching with other potioneers…I've been trying to diversify my skillset." She nodded. "Hogwarts gives me a chance to try my hand at more focused healing and specific medicines, along with a different range of clients."

"Have you not really figured out what you want to do?" Severus asked. She couldn't tell if he was being unkind or not.

"I have to admit that after what happened a few decades ago my progress was a bit…stagnate. I mainly worked retail selling ingredients. Surprised I didn't see you much, actually. I was wickedly depressed. I honestly couldn't find the motivation to pursue something more intensive. I know it sounds pathetic. After some time, I think I've decided I'd like to work more on development of new potions and cures, and perfecting and advancing ones we have now."

"Sounds rewarding."

"I hope so." Moira smiled softly. "Hey!" She exclaimed. "That reminds me! Poppy said that you're going to be making a certain potion for a certain someone this year. How did you get that job, eh? I'd be more than willing to take that responsibility off of your hands. I'm quite skilled with that potion. I worked with Damocles Belby and his crew for a bit when I was heavy into research and lab work."

Snape looked down at the ground awkwardly. It was not often he broke his cold demeanor.

"Hm. Well, how to put this…Poppy thinks you may be too close to the situation. And I may have supported her decision to not make that part of your duties."

"What does that mean?" Moira asked sharply.

"Poppy approached me before term began and asked me to help with this. I said that maybe her new assistant could do it, but then I found out it was you. And we both agreed you may not be the best fit, seeing as you have a relationship with Lupin."

"A relationship?"

"In whatever capacity it is."

"To be frank, I'm not quite sure myself. He hadn't spoken to me in ages."

"Regardless, Moira," Severus drawled, "It's probably best that you not have this responsibility distracting you from your more important work with the students."

"As I recall, Severus, you and Lupin did not have the best relationship yourselves. Why should you be the one to maintain such an important thing for him when you could not care less about him?"

"Sure, he was not my favorite classmate. But at least he was not as insufferable as the others." His lip curled in disgust just thinking about James and Sirius. "Credentials or not, Poppy and Dumbledore ultimately tasked me with this."

"Don't let it slip through the cracks Severus." Moira said darkly. "I know you dislike Lupin. But if we still have any kind of rapport with each other, you won't do that to him, for my sake at the very least."

"Trust me, it brings me little joy to take on an additional task, especially for someone I don't have warm feelings towards. But I also wish to keep my position, and to maintain my relationship with my fellow colleagues and Dumbledore."

"Well good then. Now that that is settled. Perhaps you and I could have tea soon. I'd like to discuss some of the developments I've learned about over the past few years as far as ingredients are concerned, and I think you may be the only person who would appreciate it."

"If I didn't know better, I would have pegged you to be an insufferable, pretentious Ravenclaw."

"I thought you'd like to talk potions with someone!" Moira's mouth popped open into a surprised and offended 'o'. "You and I always liked to talk about it."

"I'm only poking fun." Severus smirked. "Tea would be nice. Perhaps when the year has settled in more."

"Sure." Moira nodded. Her new post had been a lot to get used to, and she could do with a couple more weeks to get the ropes down before she got too comfortable.

"I expect I'll see you at meals now that you're not avoiding me anymore."

"Yes." Moira blushed, embarrassed that as a grown woman she had been avoiding someone she had once called a friend.

Moira practically bounced her way through the halls of Hogwarts, a small smile on her face. Her wiggenweld potion had turned out beautifully (though for such a beginner potion, that was to be expected at her skill level) and it had worked wonders for a few ailing students. Her first two weeks at Hogwarts had been filled with rewarding successes, but also anxiousness and wariness in the presence of the dementors and all the talk about Sirius Black.

All day she had been looking forward to surprising Remus with some candy she had fetched from Hogsmeade the night before—chocolate frogs. They were their favorite to share during study sessions or at quidditch matches. She had imagined his face lighting up as they opened the box to see which wizard or witch they had collected, just like when they were teenagers.

She gripped the Honeydukes bag in her hand, the rolled-down paper crinkling in her grip. With her other hand she knocked on Remus's study door, rolling back and forth on her heels as she waited.

But he didn't answer. She paused for a moment and glanced at the watch on her wrist. Surely, he should have been settled in for the evening by now.

She sighed, feeling deflated. The chocolate frogs suddenly felt like heavy weights in her hand. She waited a few minutes and knocked again, thinking perhaps he was napping after a long day of lecture. No answer. She glanced down at the candy bag and shrugged, placing the bag outside his door and abandoning the mission. She was not feeling up to eating all that chocolate on her own, and her stomach had turned in disappointment. The childlike excitement that she had felt on her way to his study was gone, and she walked through the halls defeated.

It was a Friday evening, and most of the students were either out on the grounds or getting up to shenanigans in the common rooms. The halls themselves were quite empty, and Moira realized just how lonely she was feeling. She'd spent most of her time with Poppy so far, aside from the few hours here and there with Remus practicing her patronus. Poppy wasn't exactly the most delightful company. Moira had been heading back to the hospital wing when she took a sudden sharp left. She tucked her hair behind her ears and walked with determination. She would not spend another Friday evening alone and sad in her quarters.

She knocked briskly, trying to pep herself up. The door creaked open.

"If you'll have me, I'd like that tea now." She said assertively, knowing that was the best way to conduct herself around Severus.

He didn't say a word, but opened the door to let her in.