I walk with as much dignity as I can muster. I have to wonder if I'm being naive about this. Xena's right though, I am just a farm girl from Potidea.
The thing is, I'm surprised by this too. There was never any intention on my part to be more than just her friend. The first time I saw her, I could see the pain and loneliness. I'm afraid now that I've lost her. I've run headlong into this thing without even looking.
Once In my room, I change into the shift the servant left for me. Its texture is smooth and slippery, and I never knew material could feel this good. Laying back I stare at the ceiling. Morpheus takes his time in coming to me.
Xxxxxxxx
I find myself wandering through the vineyard. We trained without a word between us, then I bathed by myself. Her face was one of indifference the whole time we were together. The Generals have been showing up all afternoon in preparation for their meeting with Xena. I wonder if I'm still invited?
So here I am walking to the furthest point I can, mumbling to myself the whole way. There's an ocean around here somewhere, and as I've never seen it before, that is my current destination.
It takes the better part of the morning to arrive at cliffs. The ocean below is the bluest I've ever seen. Well no, Xena's eyes hold that color, and with greater depth. The air smells of a salty brine, and the wind blowing off the water is cool. I edge closer, listening to the sound of the waves breaking upon the shore below. The gulls cry out as they swoop back and forth. The beauty here is breathtaking until the earth literally drops beneath me.
The first thing I notice is pain, the second is the cold. My eyes open to darkness, and for a moment I think I've lost my sight. Then I notice the moonlight glinting off the water. I make an excruciating attempt to sit up, it takes what feels like hours. My head aches, my sides hurt, and my ankle may be broken. Trying to figure out if I'm bleeding is almost impossible. The ocean water covers half my body, and I'm soaked through. I shake from the cold, but also the pain I'm in. How am I going to get back up there?
Looking up, I can see moonlight shining off the edge of the cliff. it's so far up, and with my injuries I'm not entirely sure I can make it. But I have no choice, I'm not ready to die here in the cold. Why hasn't Xena come to look for me? Have I fallen so far from her grace that she no longer cares?
I can't wait here for someone to rescue me. Thanks to a bit of luck, my staff sits behind me so I grab it, intending on using it to support my ankle. Hand over hand, I use the wood to pull myself to my feet. it's obvious I'm not getting up the cliff this way, I"ll have to find a better route. With agonizing slowness, I hobble to my left. I could possibly walk the whole coast and not find a way up,but I better keep moving.
I'm not sure how long it takes before I find a somewhat gentle slope up the cliff. Staring at it I wonder if I can make it up at all, but I just know the pain has become so great, that if I stop now I will never get back up. So I half crawl, half drag my body up, little by little. Each movement a reminder of the injuries I incurred, as sand and dirt imbed into my wounds.
My surroundings begin to lighten with the coming of the sun, and I'm very nearly to my goal. As I make it over the precipice, tears fall freely from my tired eyes. Finally I let them close, too overcome with exhaustion to care about anything else.
"Gabrielle!" A scream of horror is the only thing that causes me to stir. With great effort, I open my eyes to see Xena running full tilt towards me. I guess she did care.
"Gabrielle, what happened?" I haven't heard her say my name so much at once. Her hands fly across my body, taking stock of my injuries. "What happened?"
"I fell." I can't help the laugh that comes out. Xena looks at me with such confusion, I laugh even more.
"You have a head injury." Her fingers are delicate at my scalp.
"The cliff gave way. I spent all night making my way back up here."
"How did you even…" She looks down at me, and so many emotions flutter across her face, I don't catch them all.
"Is it that bad?" Tears threaten to spill from her eyes.
"Gabrielle, why were you even out this far?"
"I like it when you say my name." My head is so fuzzy I'm just saying everything aloud.
"So this is the girl we've been looking for." A man's voice, somewhere out of my vision, sounds annoyed. I want to close my eyes.
"Stay awake."
"I don't want to."
"Fetch me a litter!" Xena yells, her fingers are on my cheek. "Stay awake." She looks intently into my eyes, but I'm having a hard time focusing.
"I fall a lot. Once I nearly fell into a well." I giggle.
"What hurts?"
"Everything."
"What am I going to do with you?" She whispers.
"Don't make me leave." I can't keep the blackness away, again darkness consumes me.
Xxxxxxxxxx
Once again I find myself in a position that I'm not used to. When she didn't come to dinner, I tried to write it off, to assume it was for the best. But there was this nagging feeling that something was wrong. I sent Alexius for her, and when he came back with no sign of her, well …..
The darkness built in me that evening as we searched the land. Why? Not out of anger, or the need to kill. I felt fear for the first time in as long as I can remember. The fear gripped me with powerful talons because I thought Gabrielle was lost to me, and she very nearly was. I look down at her, hair still matted with blood, gashes everywhere. Everywhere.
I sigh. In my bed she looks so small, so fragile. But she's far from that. Gabrielle is so much more than I imagined. Alexius is at the door.
"What is it?"
"The Generals Lord, they are eager to meet or get on their way." They no doubt see me as weak.
"Assemble them in the courtyard. Has Damon returned with the healer yet?"
"No lord."
"Have fresh water and some clean cloth brought up." He bows slightly and leaves. I give it a few moments before I leave for the courtyard, finding it hard to leave her side.
The generals are milling about, talking when I come before them. They don't even bother to stand at attention.
"Is this how you greet your commander!?" I let the beast within have free reign, these men need a lesson I think. Some, the smarter ones, immediately fall in line. Others, however, choose to continue their open display of disrespect.
"Is the Lord done with her little plaything?" A young general laughs, looking around trying to get other men to laugh with him. When he turns back I am upon him. The fear in him is palpable. My dagger is at his neck, a thin prick of blood already trailing down his skin.
"Do you want to see what I do with my playthings!" I spit the word at him. Swallowing hard, the General shakes his head. Looking around I find that every man is now at attention, eyes carefully diverted. "If I ever find you talking that way about her again." I grab him by his groin. "You will lose something precious to you. Do you understand?"
"Yes Lord Conqueror." He squeaks. I let it sink in before letting him go and stepping back.
"You need to step up your recruitment. I want your ranks to swell twofold in a fortnight." There is some uncomfortable shifting. "I also want your men training twice as hard."
"Is there a war on?" A man questions from the back.
"We have Cesar on one front, and Xerxes on the other. I'm increasing our ships on the coast, and I fear an invasion is imminent." I look each man in the eye. "I will not let anyone take Greece from us! This is our land, our people. I will go down fighting to keep this soil Greek!" The men raise their swords in a cheer. I dismiss them before returning to my room. The healer has shown up and is bent over Gabrielle.
"Will she be ok?" I'm almost afraid to ask. But the look he gives me causes my heart to drop. For a second I don't move.
"I'm sorry Lord." It can't be? Pushing him out of the way I pull her into my arms.
"Gabrielle!" My voice is choked with sobs. Her body is limp and I can't feel her heart beating. Laying her back down I start pounding on her chest.
"Lord, she's gone." The healer's words mean nothing to me.
"Come on Gabrielle!"
"Lord." But he doesn"t finish his protest. Gabrielle sucks in a lung full of air. I put my ear to her chest and can hear the steady pound of her heart. I collapse, wrapping my arms around her, unable to stop the tears.
