I don't think I've moved in hours, I'm too afraid to. Her eyes have opened once but fell closed again. I'm just sitting here, watching the movement of her chest up and down. They all looked at me like I was crazy when I wouldn't let anyone touch her. I cleaned her myself, dressed wounds and reset bones. Raking my fingers through my hair I sigh heavily.

"Lord." Alexius calls from behind me. I ignore him. "You need to eat."

"Is it my fault?" I ask, not expecting a truthful answer.

"What do you think Lord?" I turn in my chair to look at him.

"Yes."

"You can't control how the earth behaves." He moves forward, handing me a tray.

"I can control the actions that led her there." Alexius shrugs.

"But that time has passed, that can't be changed. You can change what's to come." He gives me a little nod and backs out. I eat the pitas and hummus for lack of anything else to do, and I continue to wait.

"So it's true." My mother's voice startles me, I was actually half asleep for once. I choose, however, not to turn and look at her.

"Who should I have killed?" Who had the guts to send for her?

"Well, I'm told she already died once."

"She wrote to you?!" I whip my head around. My mother simply nods.

"She has a way with words, she made me feel guilty. And here I thought that was my job." She sighs and gives me a tired smile. "But maybe she's right." Walking forward she puts her hand on my shoulder. At this simple gesture I break down. For the first time since I was a child, my mother pulls me into her arms, and I hug her with all the strength I have.

"Go, clean yourself up. I can watch her." My mother suggests after I collect myself.

"But….." I can't. I don't admit it out loud but she knows.

"I"ll send for you if there's any change, good or bad. Go." The only reason I give in, I think, is because my mother is speaking to me like she cares. There are so many things happening to me at once, I can't decide if it's good. I walk to the bathhouse, forgoing my private bath for today as it's in my room. The hushed whispers of the servants follow my every step, but I hardly care at this point. As I recline in the water, I fall asleep almost at once.

"Lord." Damon's voice causes me to go into fight mode. It takes a moment for me to realize that I'm actually still in the bathhouse. Hades.

"What's wrong?" I go into panic mode, dressing quickly. He bows, handing me a sealed letter. I could kill the man for the way my heart is racing, but I don't . Sending him away with a dismissive wave, I rip the seal open. Cities along the coast are reporting Persian spies, trying to poison supplies and destroy crops. Looks like I'll be dealing with Xerxes sooner rather than later. I make my way back up to my room, only to hear my mother talking very quietly as I reach the door.

"She's very stubborn, but who am I to talk?" She chuckles. I can't hear the other voice.

"Oh no need to apologize sweetheart. You were right, I just needed someone to say it out loud I suppose." My heart is racing. I'm afraid to open the door now, but I push it open anyway. My mother is holding Gabrielle's hand as she sits on the side of the bed. She turns, noticing me.

"I'm going to see what food I can find." My mother gives my shoulder a squeeze before closing the doors behind her. I move to Gabrielle's bedside in one swift motion, grasping both her hands in mine. Her face still has hues of green, purple and yellow. The rest of her body is much worse.

"What were you thinking?" I can't help scolding her. I was scared, I still am.

"I'm sorry, I was being stupid." Her eyelashes are fluttering as she attempts to move. Pain is causing sweat to break out on her brow.

"Don't move, you'll make it worse."

"I feel like death." She croaks. Those words cause a sob to escape me unbidden. "I'm sorry." She says again, reaching out for me. I grab her hands in mine, kissing them over and over as tears begin to fall. There's no point in trying to hide it, I can't .

"You died Gabrielle." It doesn,'t even sound like my own voice. There's too much pain, too much emotion and fragility.

"What?" Her lungs rasp.

"I almost lost you. I did lose you." I crouch down next to the bed, her hands still grasped in mine. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you again."

"It was my fault." Her voice is weak and tremulous. "I'm just a stupid farm girl." She's struggling for air but still manages to give me this weak smile.

"You are so much more than that." Raising up slightly I kiss her forehead. "You need some rest." Gabrielle smiles the smallest of smiles then succumbs to the pain. I stay crouched, committing to memory this moment. I know for a fact, she will be the undoing of me. Walking to the door, I pull it open to see who's waiting outside.

"Damon, get the healer." He nods and takes off in a run. Her chest rattles with each breath in. I stand here by the door, watching the rise and fall. As long as it continues to move I will be ok.

"Lord?" The healer arrives, asking for entrance. Moving to the side, I practically shove him past me. He bends over Gabrielle, putting his ear to her chest listening to the noises within. His hands touch her neck, her arms, her chest and stomach. "We are going to need to sit her up otherwise she might drown in her own fluids. Her heart beats strong though my Lord, I don't think there is much need to worry. I do carry leeches with me if you feel…"

"What I feel," I cut him off with a growl. "Is that you don't deserve the title of healer. Get out of here." I wave him away in irritation. The man has the wherewithal not to argue or even hesitate as he leaves my room. Cracking my knuckles, I take a deep breath.

"What do you need?" My mother's voice pulls me back from the precipice inside.

"We will need to wrap her chest tight, and I'll need a poultice to help her cough. I'm afraid if she doesn't cough she'll get worse." Without speaking my mother walks to the bed and pulls the sheet down covering Gabrielle. She sucks in a lungful of air, attempting not to gasp at the sight of the battered body. Resolute, I grab some cloth I had torn already, and we get to work. Then, once again I'm left to wait, to sit by and watch as she struggles to breathe. My mother puts a poultice on her chest, helping Gabrielle to cough up what's in her lungs.

"What is she to you?" My mother asks after a prolonged period of silence. I shrug, unwilling to admit even to myself what she truly is in my heart. But of course, to think she has any place in my heart at all is a big admission in itself. "Is this who you really are?" She asks, intent on probing my inner demons.

"How?" I ask, avoiding the question.

"You care?" The question hurts more than it should.

"Despite everything, I still have a heart." I have to push these words out. "I don't want to be a monster anymore." If it was anyone other than my mother, I probably wouldn't be confessing this.

"I feel like I'm partially to blame. I pushed you away, I made you a villain." There are tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She comes to me, wrapping arms around me as we both start to cry.