My men and I ride hard for the coast. I've already sent out orders for my fleets of ships off the coast to attack first. On either front we are outnumbered, the losses we'll suffer is too great to even think about. I didn't want to tell this to my mother or Gabrielle; to tell them I probably won't be coming back. There's no time to think about any of that now, though, I can't .

We make for the mountain pass at Thermopylae, our best chance to hold off their advancing army. If the reports I've been getting are correct, they number in the hundreds of thousands, while my men number in just thousands.

The thundering hooves echo within the narrowing mountain pass as I come charging into the camp. My general and his men aren't surprised to see me, in fact I think I see relief on their faces. My feet hit the hard packed earth as I jump from my mount. Tension is thick in the air as if Thanatos walks among us. My heart begins to beat faster as my body starts to tingle with the anticipation of battle. Death is not an option without a pile of bodies before me first. I look out at my men whose faces are drawn in fear.

"This is not the first time we have faced odds that seem insurmountable. This will not be the first time we will fall before those odds and let our fear defeat us. We are people of Greece. Some of you may not make it home to see your families but you will stop the armies pushing onto our lands who want to kill the people you love. Know that you fight for your land, for your family. For any man that falls here today your family will be taken care of. So fight! Greece depends on you. Today you will be heroes, you will be remembered long after we are all gone. Fight!"

The men yell uproariously, raising their swords into the air. The sound echoes off the rock, filling my body with a passion that unleashes my inner beast. I feel the growl rising up from my throat before I realize I've issued it from my depths.

Night is beginning to fall on us. I organize men at the cut off point Xerxes will push his army through. This narrow path will work to our advantage, forcing his army into a choke point allowing my men to fight in fewer numbers. Silence descends upon us as we wait in the inky darkness. A storm flashes out in the distance as Zeus makes his displeasure known. With any luck Xerxes navy will be diminished to nothing.

I close my eyes and open myself to every sense, letting sounds, feel, tastes flood into me. The wind has shifted towards us, with the heavy scent of animal sweat and leather. I can taste the dirt in the air that has been lifted by the marching of the army. The earth beneath my feet begins to tremble as a low grumble starts to build.

"Ready!" I yell as a flash of lightning unveils enormous beasts and an army that doesn't end. "Steady yourselves." This is going to be fun.

The only thing I know at this point is that days have passed and the attack has been relentless. The clash of sword against sword and wails of dying men begins to die down around me. We have to hold and wait for relief that should have been here by now. I'm down to a handful of soldiers who gleam red in the moonlight, blood dripping from greaves and armor. The night has fallen eerily quiet causing my hackles to stand. Something is wrong. There's an echoing of rocks falling somewhere within the small canyon. I jerk my head to the side, trying to let my ear hone in on the source.

"Fall back." I hiss at my men, physically pushing some of them back towards the entrance of the canyon in retreat. Footsteps and the clanking of metal whispers around us. I push my men to get out as I hold my sword ready, waiting for the last man to stumble away before my war cry echoes and I charge the Persians attempting to sneak in behind us. For many, this will be the last sound they hear.

xxxxxxxxxx

Screams. Screams wrench me from my sleep. My mind is racing, my body drenched in sweat. The dream was filled with blood. There were bodies everywhere. Greek soldiers climbing over Persian bodies, Greek bodies, so many bodies that they seemed to create a mountain. And Xena. She was there leading her men, pushing them to fight, her body slick with blood. She looked possessed, filled with a wrath that seemed unnatural.

I'm scared. The odds looked overwhelming. She fought as if she had nothing to lose, as if she knew she was going to die. It's just a dream Gabrielle. But I can't convince myself of this. The darkness is pushing in on me, choking my senses.

Breathe. God's what will happen if she…..

I can't even finish the thought. Turning my head, I can just barely make out the stars through the open doorway. If only I can get out of this bed, I'd crawl myself to that battlefield and wield a sword just for her. My jaw clenches as I swallow the tears that want so badly to fall.

The days have gone by like the dripping of tree sap. I stopped counting after a while. My staff leans against the wall next to the bed. I can't lay here so useless anymore. I reach out, turning my body in ways I haven't in days. It hurts, a burning pain searing through my veins in multiple places. But I keep reaching, breathing hard as sweat breaks out on my forehead. I swing my feet out to the side of the bed, holding the staff with both hands as my body slumps against it for a moment. The first step will be the most difficult.

"God's help me." I whisper to anyone who will listen.

Putting my weight on my one good ankle, I push up into a standing position. The room swims before me. Hades this is a lot of work, but I keep going. I hobble forward, nearly falling with the first step. I just want to make it to the terrace. It feels like hours pass as I hobble my way forward, my body slowly passing into the cool night air. As I lean against the railing of the terrace I look up at the bright stars. There are so many more than there were the last time I was able to see them. I wonder how many heroes have found new homes up there because of this war. I wonder if Xena is able to see these same stars or if she is among them.

This thought feels like an arrow piercing my chest. I can't breath suddenly, can barely keep standing as I struggle to find my way back to some semblance of control. There's something wrong and I know it. Torches begin to dot the horizon, slowly appearing one by one till it becomes a road of fire. A dragon twisting on the landscape.

xxxxxxxxx

I remember the way Gabrielle looked at the stars, how I wished I could look at them with such innocent eyes. They slowly blink away above me, replaced by the falling tears of the Gods. There's no point in crying but I seem to be anyway. Who would have thought the Conqueror could be defeated. It feels like a rock sits in my stomach. The tears come harder. I wanted so badly to give all of this up and now I wish I had more time. I could make things right, I could…. I want to scream in pain and anger.

The dirt turns to mud beneath me. What am I doing lying here? I'm not dead yet. My fingers scramble across the wet earth till they find my sword, then again till they hook around my chakram.

I break off the shafts of the arrows embedded in my right shoulder and left thigh in quick succession. My sword sinks into the mud as I use it to push the bulk of my weight into a standing position.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh." I let out a bellowing yell of frustration and anger. I'm surrounded by the bodies of my soldiers, Greek soldiers that gave their lives to protect this land. I can't even give them a proper burial. My only solace in all this is we held off Xerxes and allowed my forces to regroup behind us. The rest of his forces won't get very far.

The horses are gone. I"ll have to move slowly through the countryside and hope I can find a regiment or a horse I can conscript. Step by slow agonizing step I push myself through the thick mud, through the pouring rain. My body is covered in deep gashes that are beginning to burn now. Swallowing back the bile that is threatening to rise, I fight the swimming world and keep moving in the general direction home. It's home now because she is there. I have to make it home for her.

Push Xena, push. I think of the first time I saw her. God's I thought she was beautiful then. I stumble, nearly fall over, but I keep moving forward, past the pain that feels like it's about to consume me.

I never thought she was just a farm girl, I never looked at her so simply. Those words only came out because I wanted to protect her, to protect myself from what I was already beginning to feel.

Hades, the pain. I feel so tired.

She brought my mother back to me. She did something I don't even think the Gods could have done. A beacon of good sent to dispel the darkness in my soul. The night turns black, the ground a slippery obstacle course that I can no longer see.

Move Xena, move.

My mother can't lose another child. Before she wouldn't have cared, God's she would have celebrated it. Now…..it might break her again. I can't be the one to do that to her.

My foot hits something hard, jarring my body. Pain, nothing but pain. For a few fleeting moments the pain goes away but very quickly my senses come back as I find myself on my back once more. Pain is exploding under every inch of my skin. I'm breathing shallow and fast as my heart pounds against my chest plate. I'm not scared, I'm determined. With a lot of effort I turn to my side and release the contents of my stomach, which is not much. I don't even think I've eaten since the battle started.

Forget the pain Xena.

I claw my way up to my feet using a tree trunk, growling with each movement I make. Again, I use my sword as a cane and pick my way forward through the thick night. I manage to make it farther this time before falling. Possibly walking a few hours. The only soldiers I've come across are dead ones, and no one seems left to bury them. Why do I love this so much? This much death is pointless. I can feel them haunting me, pointing bloody fingers at me in accusation.

It's getting harder and harder not to pass out. I'm using every ounce of my will to move forward at a grueling pace. It will still take days at this rate and I may not even have that much time. My body is giving way. I don't want to stop but it is beginning to overrule me.

Don't stop. God's don't stop.

I feel like crying, as my body slumps to the ground. I can't even crawl. I roll to my back and look up to see dawn beginning to break. With every bit of my soul I wish Gabrielle was here with me right now to see how beautiful it is. My eyes begin to fall closed. It's still not as beautiful as she is.