Chapter 20.
I'm getting ready as fast as I possibly can, even though I'm still half-asleep. I didn't want to wake up this early today, considering yesterday I stayed up with Anna way past my usual bed time (which I don't regret at all, by the way). But… unfortunately duty calls.
Gerda came to wake me up not too long ago, saying that the Queen required my presence. At first I was delighted, thinking maybe she just wanted to see me earlier than usual so we had more time to… kiss (Wow, just thinking about it makes me blush so hard I surely look like a tomato). But no. When I asked, Gerda told me there was an urgent situation Anna needed to attend, and that she'd requested my help on the matter. I can't say I didn't feel disappointed.
But anyways. I guess duty is first. And besides, hopefully we will be able to talk about our feelings once this urgent matter is over. Or at least kiss. I like her kisses.
Just when I'm starting to drift off (again) as I recall with utmost detail the events of last night, however, the door opens and I jump slightly in my chair, blushing when I realize I had been staring into my reflection without even starting to brush my hair for a few minutes. Then I see Anna's reflection as she enters my room, and blush even more. I've been thinking about her and how sweet and wonderful her lips are ever since we parted ways yesterday. I even dreamt about her! So it's no wonder when I finally have her in front of me, I proceed to stare at her like I've never seen her before.
And it's not really my fault. She looks stunning in a dress composed of a copper skirt, green bodice and black sleeves. Those really are her colors. They help highlight her shiny greenish eyes and red hair. So of course, all air leaves my lungs as I let out a dreamy sigh at the impressive sight of the gorgeous queen, and continue to openly gawk at her.
I'd feel bad, except that she's doing the exact same thing. She's standing just a few feet away from the doorway, apparently frozen on the spot, as she eyes me with both desire and doubt; longing and hesitation. To be fair, I probably have the same expression. I want to get up, cross the room and kiss her passionately on the lips. I want to feel her mouth against mine again. I want to hold her close to me, and caress her body with both tenderness and lust… but… she's the Queen. As much as it pains me, she's the Queen before she's Anna. And as a Queen, she can't just be kissing me when others could see us. I am a Northerner, after all.
"Uh… Hi." She says after a few moments, heat rising to her cheeks. "Uhm… you're not ready yet."
"I was just brushing my hair. I'll be ready in a minute." I assure her, finding it really cute that she gets so flustered just by seeing me. Though, judging by the rising temperature of my body and the fast beating of my heart, I'd say I must be equally flustered. But at least I didn't stutter. Yet.
"Good." She gives me a smile and then goes to sit on my bed, waiting for me to get ready before we go have breakfast. We stay in silence, but it's so tense. I don't think I've ever been silent with Anna before, and it's getting on my nerves. I try to search for something to say as I put up my hair in a bun, but the seconds pass and my mind continues to be completely blank. Well, not completely. I kinda want to tell her how beautiful she is, and how much I want to kiss her and love her for the rest of my life, but… maybe that'd make things even more awkward between us.
Is it too soon to be saying things like that to each other? Would it sound corny? What if she gets scared by my eagerness? What if…?
Okay. I need to calm down. Anna loves me… I think. She is in love with me, at least. Well, she likes me? Or she likes kissing me. Or… Damn, I'm so nervous! I can't think straight. And now the silence is even more awkward. All that can be heard is Anna's fingers playing with my covers as she looks anywhere but me. I briefly wonder if she regrets what we did last night. That is, until she finally looks up, sighs and speaks.
"Elsa?" She asks, and I hum in acknowledgment, not trusting my voice to speak normally. "Uh… about last night…"
I feel my stomach drop at her words in dread, but, despite myself, when she doesn't continue talking, I have to prompt her so I don't die from the suspense.
"Y-yeah?" I stutter.
"I mean, we kissed and all, but… we didn't really talk about it?" She ends her statement as a question, sounding oddly insecure. I turn to look at her and saw her staring at the floor and adorably biting her lip.
"Uhm… yeah. We didn't talk much." It's the only thing I can come up with, despite wanting to do something to reassure Anna. Perhaps I need reassurance myself.
"Might be because our lips were…" She coughs awkwardly before she can finish the phrase, but I still understand what she was going to say, and blush madly at this. So does she. "Anyways." She continues, clearly embarrassed. "So, I was wondering what kind of relationship you want us to have?"
"What do you mean?" I ask. I thought I had made my intentions pretty clear.
"Well… it'd be too soon for us to get engaged, or something like that." She chuckles nervously, dismissing the possibility. And though my love-struck mind feels a little hurt about it, a more rational part of me knows that it's true. "And we can't exactly continue to be just friends, right?" I nod, when she looks at me for confirmation. "Well, I thought maybe we could court each other, even if the council may not approve of it."
"W-why wouldn't they?" I ask, suddenly feeling nervous. I don't know much about this courting thing after all.
"Because you're supposed to be a noble from a kingdom that's already our ally." She shrugs. "If you were, say, from the Southern Iles, a relationship between us would be potentially beneficial for my kingdom."
"I see…" I answer, wondering if Anna is questioning whether or not it's convenient for us to be in a relationship.
"Though, if you were the Ice Queen, we could stablish an alliance through marriage…" She trails off, blushing at her own words. "Uh… in the future of course."
"Don't you think they'd be even less likely to approve of our relationship if they knew I'm a Northerner?" I question.
"I don't know. Probably." She answers thoughtful. "I think I could still form an argument though. If you wanted to reveal your true identity, that is."
"I don't." I quickly answer, fearing very much what would happen if they knew about my powers. They'd probably demand for me to be executed on the spot. And I doubt even Anna could protect me from all of them. More so if I turn out to be the Ice Queen.
"Okay." She sighs. "It's your decision. But I have a feeling this will only get worse the more we wait."
"As your counselor, I disagree." At my answer, she only nods slightly disappointed. I wish I could be as sure as she is that I won't die if we reveal I'm an ice-wielder. But I'm not. And I do appreciate my life very much.
"I knew you'd say that. But I still urge you to think about it." I nod briefly as a response before she continues talking. "Now, about our relationship… we could maybe court in secret? At least for a while, until we come up with something to convince the council it's good for us to be together."
"Sounds good to me." I answer, but what I really mean is 'I'm fine with literally anything as long as we're together. Please don't leave me'. Of course, I'd prefer not to have yet another secret to hide, but… I guess that's just not possible at the moment.
"Great!" She exclaims, getting up from the bed in one jump, wearing that big genuine smile that I was starting to miss. "I leave you to continue combing your hair then. I'll see you in the dining room." And with that she turns around and starts walking to the door. I'm disappointed, to say the least that we didn't even share a good morning kiss, but… I guess our relationship is still new, and we have to be discreet if we don't want to be caught, but… I really want to kiss her again! I literally dreamt about it the whole night!
Just when I'm about to let out a big disappointed sigh, however, Anna pauses before opening the door, glances briefly at me and then runs to where I am, taking my face in her hands and placing a passionate, yet brief kiss on my lips. It all happens so soon that I don't even have time to close my eyes, yet when I see her cheerful smile and her eyes so full of joy staring at me just inches away from my face, my heart does a little happy dance and a pleasant sensation runs through my whole body. But before I can say anything, or kiss her again, she disappears through the door.
The atmosphere is a lot less tense when we have breakfast, and also when we ride on the carriage, but there's still no kissing and little to no flirting, almost like nothing had happened last night, which… I don't know, maybe I could just take matters in my own hands and initiate said actions myself. But again, we have to keep it secret. And besides, I'm afraid she wouldn't answer as I'd hope, which of course would hurt me greatly.
It also doesn't help that there are some very serious issues to think about right now, instead of our barely blossoming relationship. Like the fact that General Haugen says he has evidence that Northerners are much more dangerous than we think, and is going to prove it to both Anna and the council before they make a decision they regret. Of course, this news disturbed us greatly, as we suspect he actually captured a real Northerner this time… and he plans to execute them in the main plaza, since that's where he asked us to meet him.
Anna could have sent a messenger with a letter, telling him not to do it, but she figured it was much more reliable for us to go in person. Plus, if we don't accept his request to see him, maybe he'll do something even more drastic in order to get the Queen to listen to him. So yeah. We better go. I better be on the defensive though, in case this is a trap. I have to be careful about what I say and do. I have to control my emotions. Conceal, don't feel.
Of course, the whole ride to the plaza I keep doing the same thing I shouldn't be doing; worry. I worry he's just going to piss me off in front of the whole kingdom, so my powers get out of control and I end up exposing myself. I worry he really has a Northerner this time, and that I won't be able to save them from him. Not without causing a massacre, that is. I worry he'll, one way or another, convince everyone ice-wielders are even more dangerous than they already believe. I worry he'll provoke a war with the Northern Lands.
And all this worry makes my powers grow even more agitated, which only makes me worry even more. My hands start to get sweaty and cold, forming frost inside of my gloves. My breathing becomes swallow and quick, and I soon see mist coming out of my mouth. And my stomach twists so painfully that snowflakes start falling from the carriage's ceiling.
But just when I think maybe I should just say I'm sick, excuse myself and let Anna deal with this, I feel a warm hand place itself over mine, and I look up to see Anna's concerned eyes.
"Are you alright?" She asks, though she must already know the truth based on all the ice and cold. So I don't bother trying to lie.
"I'm nervous." I admit with a grimace.
"Come here." She says opening her arms as an invitation for me to hug her. I don't waste any time doing just that, and instantly feel relief as a wave of warmth washes all over me, placating my powers and thawing the ice. I guess it's good knowing Anna is still willing to show me her affection and support in public. Just to a certain extent.
"I'm scared too." She admits after a moment, and I separate from her hug just enough to look into her eyes, but her gaze is lost, like she's thinking about something that requires her whole attention.
"Anna…" I'm searching for some words that will reassure her when suddenly I feel her lips over mine. It's brief, and when it ends we both look to the windows, to make sure no one saw us, but nevertheless it fills me with warmth and joy. Suddenly, I feel like I'll be able to take whatever the General has in store for me as long as I have Anna at my side. And she apparently feels the same, because now she's looking at me with love and a great amount of confidence.
Before I can kiss her again to relive the feeling though, the carriage comes to a stop and I look at the window to see we're at the plaza. My stomach twists instantly at the sight, but I force myself to swallow my fears and separate from Anna to allow her to exit our vehicle. I follow her soon after, with Kristoff helping me out, and we look around to find the General.
He's just a few feet away, standing proud and tall next to his own carriage. At his sides, all the councilmen stand, most looking disoriented and curious, but some appear to already know what we're doing here.
It's midday, and the sun shines bright in the sky, reflecting on the white stones that form the pavement and the church in a blinding way, so it takes me a few seconds to adapt and be able to distinguish the curious crowd that's surrounding us, being kept at a prudent distance by the soldiers. Aside from that, everything seems quite normal; the temperature is warm, as expected of a summer day, but a light breeze keeps us fresh enough. In the distance, the voices of many citizens are heard, as well as the sound of hooves hitting the pavement. People are just going about on their normal life all around us.
Weird. I don't see anything unusual. No Northerners in sight.
"My Queen." General Haugen bows to Anna as greeting, before addressing me with a court nod. The others follow his example and, once we've all exchanged pleasantries, Anna finally asks what was it that required her presence so urgently and in such short notice. By her tone, I can tell she's not amused.
"Well, you see, your majesty. I captured a Northerner." He promptly explains, and at his words, some people let out surprised gasps, while others just stay silent in shock. I try not to look too angry. I hope this isn't another mistake like last time. And even if it isn't, I'll try to make him free whoever he captured.
"Really?" Anna asks skeptical, and even angrier than me. "Is it for real this time, or are you just capturing innocent people again?"
"See for yourself." He simply answers, and at his signal, two soldiers open a carriage that was just a few feet away from our spot. From there, they pull out a man in chains with his head covered by an old sac. He is dressed with the uniform of Arendelle's army. "He was a soldier who worked near the northern border, but all this time he fooled us, making us think he was one of us, when in reality, he was born in the Northern Lands."
I feel a shiver run down my spine. I have no problem believing that story, seeing as I myself escaped the Northern Lands and found a new life here, hiding on plain sight. And if he's indeed telling the truth, he'd have no problem making everyone paranoid. They'll believe everyone is a potential Northerner, and the witch hunt will start again. Many innocents will die, not only ice-wielders. Just like it happened when king Agdar ascended the throne.
But what can I do? Trying to stop him from revealing the truth about this man will only seem that much more suspicious. And if I get too angry, I could end up exposing myself. No, I have to think of something better before acting.
"How do you know that's true?" Anna questions, obviously trying to sound skeptic, but a small waver in her voice reveals how nervous this situation makes her.
"He confessed." The General answers with a proud and malicious smirk, knowing that if the man confessed literally nothing can save him. "And I bet he'll likely do it again, so you can hear it too."
At this, the soldiers holding the man bring him to the Queen and make him kneel in front of us. Then, they remove the sac from his head and reveal a man in his twenties with brown hair, blue eyes and a beard that looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days. He's not an ice-wielder, which I guess is why he isn't wearing ice-proof shackles, and he looks really scared. This enrages me quite a bit. It's another injustice, just like the last time.
"He's not an ice-wielder!" Anna yells angrily to the General before I have the chance to do so. But he doesn't even flinch at her outburst, and continues to wear an arrogant smirk.
"I thought you already knew not all Northerners are ice-wielders?" He asks, clearly amused when Anna opens and closes her mouth, apparently not knowing what to say in response. Honestly, I don't have an answer for that either.
"I-I… w-well… is that true?" She settles for talking to the prisoner, which I guess is the only way to prove General Haugen is wrong. "Are you a Northerner?"
"Y-yes, your majesty." He stutters, so nervous it's very evident he's trembling. "My mother was an ice-wielder, but she escaped the Northern Lands when I was very young. She got wounded, however, and died soon after. I somehow managed to get to a village and was raised at the orphanage. Then, I decided to become a soldier." All of this he says looking to the ground and with a broken voice. As he gets to the last part, tears threaten to fall from his eyes. "All I ever wanted was to serve my kingdom. Please don't kill me." Now he's openly crying and the sobs shook his body. I can't help feeling sorry for him; his life couldn't have been easy, and now he's being arrested for having escaped the Northern Lands. I shoot Anna a worried glance, and she returns it, together with a questioning look. Her face says it all, she doesn't have to ask the question out loud. What are we going to do?
As her counselor, I should have an answer. But I don't. I'm too shocked right now, and all I can do is thinking how sorry I am for this man, and how mad I am with the General. My powers threaten to burst out, but I make a conscious effort not to let them. The Northerner's sobs don't help much either. I think maybe we should calm him down and interrogate him later.
"Is that true?" I ask, placing my hand on his shoulder. This seems to give him enough focus to look up and stop crying so badly.
"Yes, but please. I'm a citizen of Arendelle. I'm loyal to Queen Anna, I swear!" I kneel down to be at his level, and I'm about to assure him that we believe him and he'll be treated fairly, when before I can process what's happening, his hand quickly moves and grabs my hair. Instinctively, I take a step back, but I end up falling on my butt because he's still holding firmly my hair. I feel a few strands being pulled, and let out a little squeak of pain. Finally, when I'm able to process what happened, I look up at him and see… he has my wig on his hand. And a malicious expression on his face.
I hear surprised gasps from the councilmen, and the people who are close enough to see me, and I feel my heart rate accelerating as a rush of adrenaline courses through my veins. I get up quickly, instinctively knowing I'm more vulnerable sitting down, but… when I hear the shocked murmurs of the crowd and the voices of a few people calling me a monster and abomination, I realize it was a mistake. Now every curious observer can see me.
I shoot a panicked at the General, and see him wearing a triumphant smile and giving orders to the nearby soldiers. Then I stare at the councilmen, who mostly have outraged expressions, though others seem to still be trying to process what just happened.
I myself don't quite believe this. It has to be a nightmare, right? A terrible, terrible, nightmare. Except I know it's very real, and it only gets worse when my fear gets so intense, it starts manifesting in the shape of frost forming under my feet.
"Capture her!" The General tells his men. "She's attacking us!"
"No!" Anna yells, but it's too late; the soldiers are already coming for me. I try to get away from them, only to realize I'm trapped between them and an angry crowd that would probably be very happy to kill me here and now.
My powers instantly grow more agitated, and ice spikes form in a protective circle around me, just like when I was first captured in the little village so many weeks ago. Only this time they are larger and more menacing. And are rapidly spreading around me, almost impaling some of the soldiers.
Knowing a death will only make things worse, I try to regain control, but I can't. The crowd is barely being contained by the few soldiers who didn't go after me, and some are starting to throw rotten fruit and other nasty things at me. Most don't reach me, but soon a tomato lands on my shoulder and paints my fine dress of red. I can't concentrate like this! Not with the soldiers seconds away of getting killed in front of everyone!
"Please, stay away!" I warn them, fearing as much for their lives as I fear for mine, but they don't listen, and are soon breaking my ice with their swords.
The sight makes my legs tremble. This won't end well. I start breathing more rapidly, and my heart beats so fast I start feeling light-headed, and for a moment I think I'm going to pass out.
Then, I feel something hit my back, and then my stomach, and I also start feeling enraged. Betrayed. I fought for them! I stood up against the General when he was taking innocent people. And yet there they are in the crowd, demanding I'm killed just because I have ice powers.
Before my rage can also manifest and cause more damage, however, I feel a searing pain in my right arm, and let out a scream, clenching the spot where the wound is and feeling a warm liquid emanating from it. Hurt and angry, I search for my attacker, and see various soldiers holding crossbows, all pointed towards me.
I raise my hand and prepare myself to disarm them (or kill them, I'm not all that sure right now) but… before I can do anything, I feel something hit my head and stumble backwards, almost getting impaled with my own ice. I feel blood also falling from my forehead and I hear a rock hit the ground. Someone must have thrown it at me.
I decide to ignore it, seeing as the crossbows are the greatest danger at the moment, but when I try to aim, everything turns blurry and I find myself unable to focus on anything. The pain on my forehead intensifies slowly but surely, to a point where I just want to curl up on the ground and wait for it to stop. I know I can't do that. I know my life is in the line, but I just can't fight it. Much less while trying to dodge flying objects and arrows.
I feel my mind starting to get numb, like I'm drifting off to sleep. I tell myself that I can't let that happen. Not now. That if I fall asleep I will never wake up. But it's beyond my control, and soon I fall to my knees, still trying to stay awake.
Just when I think everything is lost, however, I hear ice breaking at my side. At first I think it's a soldier coming to finish me off, but then I see a copper skirt that I know all too well, and realize it's actually Anna holding a sword that she probably stole from a soldier.
"Stop!" She yells as she comes to protectively stand in front of me. I instantly feel relief like I've never felt it before. My heart rate evens out, as well as my breathing, and snow stops falling from the sky.
Just then, Kristoff also comes and positions himself next to Anna, together forming a human barricade between me and the soldiers.
"Stop!" Anna yells again and, apparently realizing it's a direct order from the Queen, the soldiers instantly stop trying to murder me. The citizens are slower though. It takes about a minute, but when they all realize just who is talking and what she's saying, they do obey and stay silent, waiting for Anna to talk.
The Queen is shaking badly, the sword looking like it's about to fall from her hand. At first I think she's scared or nervous, seeing as she never liked speaking in public, but then I hear her voice, and come to the realization she's mostly angry.
"Y-you should be ashamed!" She yells with such fury I bet even the soldiers are intimidated. "You should all be ashamed!" She continues, trembling even more, if possible. "How can you all just try to kill an innocent woman the moment it's revealed she's an ice-wielder?!" She pauses, sobs interrupting her speech. "She didn't have a choice, you know? That's just who she is! Are you really going to murder her because of something she had no control over? I believe everyone has a right to be judged by their actions, not their appearance, or their possession of magic. And Elsa has done nothing but help me become a better Queen, and look out for your interests! She defended you from the General just the other day! And yet you turn your backs on her at the first opportunity!" She sobs some more, apparently unable to contain it. "I honestly thought the citizens of Arendelle were good, honest people, but it looks like I was wrong. It looks like they are all ungrateful murders. And if that's who you are, I don't want to be your Queen." She concludes her angered speech with a trembling and a sob, as she wipes her tears with her hands.
I am honestly impressed by the way she talked so coherently even in a situation as precarious as this. And honestly, the joy of seeing her defending me with such passion and conviction, even if she had to stand against her whole kingdom, is probably the only thing that kept me awake. Now that it's over, I feel my eyelids start to get heavy again. I continue fighting it, but I know I won't be able to do it for long. Not even when Anna kneels in front of me and takes my face in her hands, a look of utter concern clear on her face.
I don't even hear when she starts calling my name. I only see her teary eyes and scared expression before my vision turns completely black and I lose consciousness.
A/N: Clifhanger! Muahahahahaha! Sorry for the delay though. I hope you liked this chapter, and if you did, please leave a review telling me what you think of it, and what you think will happen to poor Elsa. Reading your comments always encourages me to write more. Thanks for reading and see you soon (I hope).
Thanks to my beta reader moonwatcher13 :)
