A/N: Update sooner than 5 days b/c i wanted this chapter and the last to be close together (they were technically supposed to be the same chapter, but the themes didn't quite fit in my favor). Comments/Reviews mean the world to me so if you have I love you and if you haven't I will pledge to you my first born child if you do lolol


Chapter 16:

What's In a Name?


"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved." –George Macdonald


Steve hated not being in the loop. It was one of the worst parts of being associated with a secret agency like SHIELD. Natasha and Clint had gotten a lot better about being open with missions and what was going on, especially after the HYDRA inside SHIELD incident, but there were still lapses. Like today. Today was a giant lapse.

"The world was going to be decimated by a magic, alien mist and you guys just thought, 'hey we'll just let them know about this over family night dinner'." Tony scoffed. He was sitting in his usual seat in the Conference room. He didn't look up as he spoke, continuing to sketch out a blueprint, "Or were you just gonna add it to the monthly newsletter?"

"Coulson and his team had been the lead of this issue from the start. We only got pulled in today, and we made the call that we could handle it." Clint shrugged.

Tony glanced up and pointed to the blueprint paper where he was designing a bionic hand, "This was before Coulson got his hand chopped off, right?"

"That would've happened whether you were there or not." A deep voice argued. Steve glanced over to where a man named Mac was standing with his arms crossed. His axe was still strapped to his back, and he had a stern look on his features. "Coulson grabbed the crystal—"

Steve held his hand up, "The point is we should've known."

"If you had known, you would've come." Natasha argued. "There's having back-up and there's having too many people on one mission. This was the latter."

Steve shook his head, "And that's a decision we could've made together. As a team."

Dr. Cho opened up the door to the conference room and stepped in. She glanced around, taking in the awkward tension in the air, and shook her head, "I just wanted to update all of you on the status of our patients."

"Are they still stable?" Bruce questioned.

"They are. I'd like to keep Bobbi Morse here over night before she's transferred to a hospital for her knee surgery, and Coulson is doing well. The shock of losing a limb and blood loss were the only reasons he loss consciousness."

Agent May raised an eyebrow at her, "Pretty good reasons."

"He should wake up at any moment." Dr. Cho added.

Steve nodded in thanks and the Korean woman stepped out again. He let his eyes trace over the room. Tony was back to being solely focused on the sketch in front of him. His hand dancing across the blueprint paper with the same confidence and precision as his own hand when he sketched in his notebook. Bruce stood a little behind Tony, with his arms crossed, and he waited for Tony to ask him questions so he could weigh in on the prosthetic they were designing for Coulson. Mac and May both stood over by Clint and Natasha. They had all been in this room for the last twenty minutes arguing in circles.

"Alright." Steve let out a sigh. "Moving past the fact that we should've been in the loop, where are we when it comes to HYDRA? Coulson mentioned he was working on that as well."

May nodded, "We got a map of HYDRA bases from when we raided List's hide out. They aren't very descriptive though. We won't know which one belongs to Von Strucker unless we go and knock on their doors."

"I'd be more than happy to go on a tour of the HYDRA bases. I hear Europe is nice this time of year." Clint smirked.

Natasha gave him a look before dragging her eyes back to May, "Any hint on what we're going to find on this…tour?"

Mac and May gave each other a knowing look. Again though, May was the one who finally spoke up, "Von Strucker is still trying to crack the super soldier serum." Steve tensed at this statement. These days it felt like it always circled back to that. "But with List's help, he's now stretched his hobbies to include creating inhumans."

"Creating inhumans?" Bruce narrowed his eyes. "He's putting descendants through terrigenesis?"

Mac shook his head, "From what we found, it looks like he's taking normal humans and just enhancing them. Somehow. Skye's been working on hacking into the files we picked up, but then we all got a little sidetracked."

"By the mission we weren't allowed to know about, right?" Tony glanced up. It seemed he only had the time to glance up and add to the conversation if he had a dig to dish out. Steve actually found himself alright with that right now.

He glanced over the hallway to see Aj was still with Skye in the medical lab. Fitzsimmons had disappeared for the moment, but he was sure they were still around. With everything happening today, no one had really gotten the chance to make sure she was still doing alright. Between showing her scars to Clint and then the mission's results showing up on their front door, it was quite the adjustment. Besides, this was the first time Aj was seeing them as not just her friends, but the actual Avengers.

Steve shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. At least now, they had a lead. The lead was going to keep them busy as hell for the next few months, but at least now they had a direction to move in. Steve didn't care if the map they found had a hundred bases scattered on it. He'd personally go to every single one if it meant stopping Von Strucker.


I had one arm crossed over my chest with the other elbow resting on it so I could use that hand to cover my mouth. It was the classic, 'oh shit, what the fuck has my life spiraled into?' pose. Skye, on the other hand, stared back at me in a kind 'oh shit, what the fuck did I just say?' way.

We were both struggling here.

"They think…I'm inhuman?" I asked again, for the ninth time.

"I'm gonna be honest, I didn't know it was a secret." Skye shook her head with a frown, "Shit, I'm sorry. I thought…It's not something to be ashamed of. It's shocking, I know, but—"

I pulled my hand away from my face to wave her words off, "Right now, I'm not even really registering the inhuman part. I'm kind of just…" My lips twisted together in disappointment. "They didn't tell me any of this."

"I really am sorry. I wasn't trying to cause any trouble." Skye pushed herself up off the medical bed. I could tell she really was bummed that she spilt the beans, but this wasn't her fault. She didn't know that the Avengers were hiding a sort of huge, giant secret from me. She set her hand on my shoulder, "I have to go back to the Playground now, but after I deal with the rest of that I'd be more than happy to talk to you about being an inhuman."

"Are you leaving now?" I asked and she nodded. Without hesitation, I added, "Can I come?" Skye's eyes widened and I continued, "I mean, if I'm allowed to. I know it's a super, secret base or whatever."

Skye chuckled with a sad smile, "You're allowed to live in the Tower with the Avengers. I think that means you have clearance. Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I grinned. "I could use a little air."

She shrugged and motioned for me to follow her. We walked out of the medical lab and I paused to look into the conference room where they were still arguing about the mission details. He must have felt me staring because Steve tore his eyes away from Bruce who was talking to catch my gaze. His eyes widened slightly in surprise then he tilted his head in question, his eyebrows scrunching together in concern. I forced a smile and gave him a quick thumbs up. Steve smiled in return and I turned to leave. Did he know about the inhuman stuff too?

"Fitzsimmons, we're heading back to base. You coming?"

Fitz glanced over Skye's shoulder at me and motioned to us both, "We?"

"Did you just refer to them collectively as one name?" I chuckled.

Simmons smiled at my question and then shook her head, "I want to stay here until Coulson wakes up."

Fitz glanced at Simmons then back to use with a quick nod, "Me too."

Skye pulled both of them in for a quick hug and then the two of us walked out to where the quinjet was parked. I assumed she knew how to fly this thing because I definitely did not have any sort of idea. This was the first time I was even inside one of these. Well, maybe that wasn't true. They had to get me back to the US from Russia somehow and this was probably it.

I sat down in one of the seats against the wall and watched as Skye went to the cockpit. She pressed a few buttons, the back hatch closed, and suddenly we were rising in the air. Skye came back after a minute and sat down in the seat against the wall across from me.

"So, it just flies itself?"

Skye nodded, "Yeah, it's got an autopilot program."

I tapped my feet together, "Obviously I'm not here for the quinjet experience. Can you tell me exactly what you heard from Coulson about me?"

"I…" Skye hesitated briefly, then shook her head, "Coulson said that Clint and Natasha met someone in an illegal fighting ring. She got caught up in a SHIELD mess and that led to her…"

"Getting her ass kicked in Russia?" I guessed.

Skye nodded, "Based on the file, it has a copy of your medical records, you should very much be dead. Like, brain put in a blender, bleeding in a dirty prison cell, super dead."

I twisted my lips. She was not wrong. I knew that. I knew I should be dead. Bucky saved my life by taking care of me, but even with him looking over me…I should not have survived that. My brain should just be a puddle of goo in a Russian ditch. I shrugged, "I heal fast."

"And really well." Skye added. "SHIELD thinks that it's a sign of you being inhuman. Your gene being so strong that it's starting to show even without something like terrigenesis to kick start it. You've been like this your whole life?"

I nodded, "Long as I can remember. I've been fighting, real fighting, since I was 16… Do you think I'm inhuman?"

"It wouldn't be the craziest thing." Skye shrugged. I didn't reply that it very much was. This was next level crazy. Me? An inhuman? That couldn't be right. And why hadn't Clint and them told me about this? Was it just because they thought I was fragile and didn't want to make me panic? Skye continued talking despite my internal war, "SHIELD is kind of desperate for help right now too. You could be inhuman, or they could just be seeing what they want to see because they need a new field agent."

A new field agent.

"A new field agent?" I didn't realize the words fell out of my mouth.

"That can't be too surprising, right?" Skye replied. "Isn't that why you're with the Avengers? Training with them?"

They had been training me. Clint and Natasha were hard at work to train me, and I loved it. I loved it because I love fighting and I loved hanging out with them, but this entire time had it just been them working with the new field agent? It felt like my head was spinning. My SHIELD file came to be after Russia, after I survived the un-survivable, and that's when Clint 'adopted' me. I always assumed it was a natural progression, but was it just because they wanted to keep the 'inhuman field agent to be' close by?

Part of my brain screamed at me. It screamed that I loved them, that we were really friends, that we were really family, and that I was just being paranoid. Every action, every touch, every laugh, it was proof that I was more than just a recruit. My brain demanded I understand that and believe it, and I wanted to.

More than anything I wanted to.

But, there was a small voice at the back of my mind that wouldn't shut up. It whispered that I was a fool. That I had been tricked by a group of superheroes and secret agents who were more than capable of pulling the wool over my dumbass eyes. It whispered that I was just so desperate to be loved that I was grabbing for it in any shred that I could.

Logically, I knew that whispering voice had to be wrong, but life had fucked me over too much for me to completely ignore this. It had been unrealistic for me to go from being a less than nothing, trash fire, street fighter to a suddenly well-dressed, rich, professional employee of the Avengers. Shit like that didn't just happen and it sure as hell didn't happen to people like me.

The worst part of it all was that it reminded me of Boss. It reminded me of the control he took out of my life. He made decisions for me. He told me what I would do, what I would become, who I would fight. Is that what SHIELD wanted to do? What the Avengers wanted to do? Turn me into a full-on inhuman and then throw me at the enemy of the week?

"Aj?" My eyes snapped back to focus on Skye who looked more than concerned, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I replied. "Just a lot to process."

"I get that." Skye chuckled and leaned back in her seat. "This has felt like the longest day of my life."

Suddenly, I remembered that she had gone through some wild shit today. I was so focused on my problem of the moment that her own issues completely slipped my mind. I shook my head, "Do you need to talk about it?"

"I'm fine." Skye shook her head. We sat in silence for a few minutes, just listening to the faint whistling sound of the air outside the quinjet. I was in the process of trying to block out every single thought in my skull when Skye broke the silence, "What do you think of the name Daisy?"

My eyebrows furrowed at the seemingly randomness, "Um, it's pretty? Whose name is it?"

"Mine." Skye said softly. I bit my tongue and let her quietly think to herself. She focused her eyes on me. "It's the name my parents gave me, but I never knew. Only found out recently. Do I look like I could be a Daisy?"

That felt like a loaded question. I rolled it around in my head trying to think of a helpful answer. Finally, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, "Aj is just a nickname. My actual name is Aimee." I paused. "I was Aimee for a long time, but… I realized I couldn't keep being her. Aimee was soft and sad and she missed her family—her sister... It's why I became Aj." Skye kept her thoughtful gaze on me. "Aj was bitter and angry, but she was tough and that's what I needed. It's what I still need."

Skye nodded and her eyes darted to the floor. Her gaze was heavy with her thoughts. I chuckled, "Names are important. They're more than just what people call us, it's what we identify ourselves with. Where did you get the name Skye?"

"I chose it." Skye glanced back up at me with a small smile. "Bounced around orphanages, aged out, and… I chose to be Skye."

"Because you needed to be Skye." I shrugged. "What does the name Daisy mean to you? How does it make you feel?"

"It reminds me that I was loved… even when I thought I wasn't."

It was hard to ignore the similarities we shared. Maybe the two of us could start some kind of club. It'd be a really depressing club, but we could get cool jackets and drink together. That'd be worth it. I gave her a grin, "Skye did you a lot of good, but maybe it's Daisy's turn for a spot in the sun." Skye leaned her head against the wall behind her and mumbled a quick thank you in my direction. I smirked, "So…Hi. My name is Aj, and you are?"

She chuckled and nodded, "I'm…Daisy. I'm Daisy. It's nice to meet you."


Tony was there when Coulson finally woke up. The man still looked a little pale, even with the blood transfusions, but Tony was sure that would pass soon. He shifted forward in his seat and grinned, "Agent. Finally."

"Stark." Coulson groaned and tried to sit up. Tony helped him, but with every second that passed the agent was regaining his strength. He shook his head and glanced around the medical lab, "I'm in the Tower?"

Tony nodded, "Your crew rushed you in. You lost a lot of blood on account of the…" He motioned to the wrist that was wrapped in gauze and missing a hand. "Guess it was quicker to come here than back to your base. We didn't mind offering you a helping hand." Coulson blinked at him in exhaustion. Tony's smirk grew, "Get it? Helping hand? Because you, you know, are missing one?"

"Yeah, I picked up on that." Coulson replied dryly.

Tony snickered to himself, "You won't be for long, don't worry. Bruce and I are working on a replacement already."

Coulson nodded though he wasn't surprised by Stark's kindness. Iron Man acted like he was all snark and dry wit, but Tony couldn't resist going the extra mile to help those around him. He chuckled, "Thanks, Stark. How's…?"

His words drifted off as he noticed Bobbi unconscious in the bed beside him. Hunter was passed out in the chair beside her. Despite sleeping, his face still looked taut with fatigue. Tony noticed where Coulson was staring and cleared his throat, "She woke up a little while ago. Dr. Cho says she's going to be fine. She'll stay here tonight and then tomorrow she's heading to the hospital for knee surgery. The rest of your team is doing good too."

"Thank you, Tony." Coulson sighed in relief. Tony's words put him at complete ease. The last thing he remembered was fighting Gordon, the eyeless inhuman who was trying to break the lethal crystals into the helicarriers fan system, and then he was watching a crystal fall to the floor. Coulson knew if it smashed against the ground that everyone in that room, him, Fitz, Mac, and Natasha, would be exposed to the mist. He hadn't thought. He dove forward, caught the crystal, but the relief was short lived.

Watching his hand turn to stone had been jarring.

Watching Mac cut his hand off with an axe was downright traumatic.

It had saved his life though.

Coulson had passed out soon after that. Waking up alive had been great but waking up and having Tony tell him his team was still alive and the world was kicking was fantastic.

"I was already going to put in a collapsible disco ball, do you want it to glow in the dark too?" Tony asked. Coulson shook his head with a chuckle. Tony grinned, entirely serious about it. He was going to put every bell and whistle in the prosthetic him and Bruce were designing.

Tony picked up his phone to shoot off a text that Coulson was awake. Most of his team was cleaning up and unwinding from the mission, but they would all want to swing up and see Coulson awake. Clint and Natasha would want too as well.

"Have you been here the entire time?" Coulson asked.

Tony nodded, slipping his phone back into his pocket, "Yeah. I'm waiting for Bruce to get done with his half of the designs. Plus, I wanted to stick around and make sure you didn't slip away and then lie to us for months about being dead."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Coulson groaned.

"Absolutely not. I'm—"

The medical lab door swung open and they both glanced over to see Steve stick his head in. When Steve spotted Coulson awake, he stepped into the room completely with a nod, "Coulson. It's good to see you up. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good all things considering." Coulson lifted his gauzed wrist.

"Good." Steve gave him a firm smile, but Tony could see a shimmer of concern in his eyes. Tony lifted his eyebrow in question. Steve cleared his throat, "Have you seen Aj?"

A brief flash of panic washed over Tony. He was still on edge about anything surrounding the topic of Aj. She had calmed him down, talked him off the edge he had been on, and that kept him storming down to the federal prison and beating that piece of shit she called Boss half to death, but—That didn't completely quell the absolute rage Tony felt buzzing under his skin like a live wire.

Tony stood up, "She was looking over applications when I last checked? Is she ok?"

"JARVIS and Fitzsimmons say she left the Tower with Skye. To the Playground." Steve replied.

"Then you know where she is, at least." Coulson replied. "The Playground is secure. They're safe there."

Steve shook his head, "She's not answering any of my calls or texts."

"Has anyone else tried to call her?" Tony pulled out his phone and answered his own question by immediately calling her phone. He pulled it up to his ear and just listened to it ring. Steve shook his head and crossed his arms. The moment he heard her voicemail, he hung up and tried again. It happened again. Voicemail. Tony stuck shoved his phone into his pocket, "I'm going to the Playground."

"Tony—"

"I'm getting in the suit, and I'm going to the Playground." Tony snapped.

Steve grabbed his arm before he could push out of the room. Tony went to yank his arm out, but Steve held tight. He shook his head, "Maybe she just needs space, Tony. After what she talked about with Clint and then all of today—"

"I don't give a damn." Tony said slowly, emphasis on every word, "I'm not letting her run—"

"We don't even know if that's it. She was helping Skye, and maybe she just wanted to see the Playground." Steve said firmly and Tony scoffed. "Today is the first day she's seeing anything SHIELD or Avengers related around here. It shook her. I saw it in her eyes."

Tony shook his head, "All the more reason to go check on her."

"Tony, we can't smother her." Steve replied.

"You brought this to me. Why would you—"

"I was hoping maybe it was just me she wasn't answering." Steve sighed. "I was hoping she was talking to someone, at least."

Coulson cleared his throat, "I can get in touch with Skye. Tell her to keep an eye on Aj."

There was a tense moment where Tony considered shoving Steve off him, getting his suit, and flying to the Playground without hesitation. He knew Steve was right though. They couldn't smother Aj, she was no prisoner here, and today was the first she was witnessing them being the actual Avengers. The shock of it could've just stunned her. Maybe that was why she went with Skye to the Playground and why she wasn't answering any of their calls. The rationalization of that didn't make him feel any better.

"Thirty minutes." Tony said. "If none of us hear back from her in thirty minutes, I'm flying out to the Playground. You won't be able to stop me, Rogers."


Coulson's Playground was in the middle of nowhere and was partially underground. It was everything I expected of seeing a super secret spy base for the first time. Sky— Daisy had promised me a tour of the base after she dealt with the fallout of everything that occurred today. I wasn't in a rush. She needed to deal with her father, and I was mostly just here because I didn't want to be in the Tower right now. We both got what we wanted.

My phone buzzed again against the table. This time instead of Steve, Tony's caller ID flashed on the screen. It was a picture I snapped of him after he passed out in his lab and Clint drew on his face with a marker. I sighed and flipped the phone over, face down.

"Usually it doesn't stop until you pick it up."

I glanced over to see an unfamiliar face standing in the arch in the glass wall that lead into this break room type area. Daisy had left me here, telling me I had free reign over their fridge, but instead I had just dropped down at the table and moped.

"Me picking up won't stop them." I mumbled in reply.

The guy, a tall blond with light eyes and scruff on his jaw, crossed the room to join me at the table. He flinched a little as he sat down and I guessed it was because he had been a part of today's earlier fight. The scuff mark peeking out from under the neckline of his shirt was more proof. He gave me a quick nod, "I'm Lincoln."

"Oh, nice to meet you." I replied. "I'm Aj."

"I know."

"Wow", I sighed, "Coulson just told everyone about me, huh?"

Lincoln chuckled and he shook his head, "Nah, Daisy just told me about you." He must have talked to her recently if he knew to use that name over the name Skye. "She said you were kind of going through an existential crisis, of sorts. Asked me to talk to you about it."

"Existential crisis? She used that phrase? Damn." I grimaced, then mumbled, "Thought maybe I hid it better than that."

Lincoln nodded, "It's normal, you know? Finding out that you're—"

"We don't know that I am." I quickly corrected. He raised and eyebrow at me and I shrugged, "SHIELD is guessing and yeah, admittedly, the evidence is not in my favor, but…we don't know."

"Ah."

I flinched, "Did that sound offensive? Me quickly denying being an inhuman in front of an inhuman. I assume, you're an inhuman and that's why Daisy sent you to me."

"I am." Lincoln laughed dryly. "But I promise I didn't take it offensively. Like I said, I know it's a crazy concept to try and wrap your head around." I nodded in agreement to that and he tapped his hand against the table. "Do you wanna know why Daisy asked me to come talk to you?"

I shrugged, "You picked the short straw?"

"Before…Before today, this was my job. I was called a transitioner. I helped people transition from living as a human into accepting their abilities. Accepting their fate." My ears perked up at the use of that word. Fate. He continued, "Do you know how we could tell someone was inhuman before terrigenesis?"

I narrowed my eyes, "Well, for me, I think it was the not dying after being beaten to death. That's what I hear, at least."

"That's definitely one clue." Lincoln smirked. "One more specific to you. One trait that we all tend to share, is feeling like there is a void in our life." My eyes widened slightly. "Before I transformed, I felt empty. Nothing, no matter what I did, felt right. I used alcohol to try and fill that void and as you can probably guess it never really did. In the moment, it would help, but…"

A void. That was a good description of the way I felt sometimes. That hole in my chest that I desperately tried to smother. I had always assumed the hole came from being abandoned and all that fun shit, but maybe it had been more. Fighting was my alcohol. I fought to fill that void and it felt great in the moment, but I was always left at the end of the night with cuts and bruises and an aching vacuum in my chest.

"This void…What does it have to do with fate?"

"The inhuman abilities fill that void, and each ability is hand designed by fate to fill a role." Lincoln replied. The words he said sounded like fortune cookie mumbo-jumbo and I must have made a face that showed it because he laughed, "Yeah, I know. I know how it sounds. Right now, to be honest…I'm questioning it a little myself too."

I chuckled, and my phone buzzed again, and I sighed and mumbled, "They're adamant."

"Why are you avoiding them?" He questioned.

"They…" I hesitated for a second, "They talked to every person on the planet about me being—maybebeing inhuman, but I didn't make that list. I had to find out from someone else and I don't… I don't like people keeping secrets from me. Even if they think it's to protect me I just—I hate that. I hate being left in the dark."

Lincoln nodded, "That's understandable. I'm sorry that happened to you. Is that all that's bothering you though?"

"No." I mumbled. Quickly, I pushed my phone further away and then rested my arms on the table, leaning toward him, "Let's say I am an inhuman. For argument's sake." Lincoln chuckled and nodded. "That means every single fight I've won, every obstacle I've overcome, it was just because of my alien genes giving me an extra push. It wasn't me. It was some weird superpower I didn't even ask for."

I hated the idea of my skills being taken away from me. In my life, I had two or three skills I was proud of and fighting was one of them. If the only reason I was good at fighting was because of some alien bullshit what did that leave me with?

Lincoln shook his head, "You're looking at it wrong, Aj. You're looking at this like your abilities are some kind of outside source. If you are inhuman, then what you can do comes from who you are. Everything you've done, everything you've accomplished is still you."

"Thanks, Lincoln." I replied. His words did help a little.

"No problem. I know how tough this can be." Lincoln replied. "Besides, I owe Daisy. This is my last favor for her."

"Last?"

Lincoln nodded, "I'm leaving. I need…I need to step away from the inhuman community right now."

I raised an eyebrow, "Well, that's not a selling point."

Lincoln laughed, "I know. I'm sorry. I've just… I feel like I've been disillusioned for a while. I don't know how much you know about what happened today—"

"I know enough." I replied. "I got the summary."

"The leader of Afterlife, the inhuman community, we—I looked up to her. Finding out that everything she told us, everything we thought we were fighting for was just a lie…A lie she was using to exact vengeance? I was just a pawn in her plan for revenge and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

I nodded, "I get that."

"One thing I do know though, is that I haven't felt empty since I went through terrigenesis." Lincoln said. My phone buzzed against the table again. He motioned to it, "I don't know why they didn't share any of this with you. I don't know them. But terrigenesis is your decision. I don't feel empty anymore, but I spent a yearafter terrigenesis feeling like my blood was on fire." He set his hand on the table, palm up, and I watched as sparks of bright blue electricity danced from finger to finger. "Afterlife may have ended up being built on a lie, but I wouldn't have survived without having them there to help me. Whatever you decide, make sure you have a support group first."

I gave him a firm nod, "Thank you, Lincoln. This really did help." Lincoln stood up from his seat, and I gave him a smile, "Whatever you plan on doing now… good luck with it."

Lincoln reached out to squeeze my shoulder once before turning and leaving how he came in. I stared at the empty arch for a few minutes before flipping over my phone and letting the screen light up. Multiple missed calls from Steve, Tony, and Clint. A mix of texts from nearly every Avenger. With a sigh, I unlocked it and sent a quick text to the group chat telling them I was fine and would be home soon. The last thing I needed was them blowing off Coulson's front door because I ignored too many calls.

I rested my chin in my hand and closed my eyes. These days the void wasn't so gaping and aching. That had to be a good sign, right?


"Did she say when she was coming back?"

"You got the same text we all did, Stark." Natasha replied back. Bruce could feel the tension in the air today. Between the secret mission and now Aj distancing herself, it had everyone on edge.

Tony scoffed, "I just thought since you were in a secret keeping mood today that you might, I don't know, might be hiding something."

Natasha glared up over the magazine she was flipping through and if looks could kill Tony would be a pile of smoldering ash on the floor right now. Bruce rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh, "I'm sure she'll be back soon, Tony. Relax."

Tony rolled his eyes and moved to head up to his lab. They watched him go, but no one moved to stop him. Everyone knew that a little time in his lab blowing off steam would do the entire Tower some good. Fifteen minutes later, Steve came back in with Clint and the archer glanced around.

"Oh, is Tony still pissed?" Clint questioned.

"Yes." Bruce replied.

Clint smirked and rubbed his hands together, "Ok, I'm gonna go cheer him up."

Bruce watched as Clint raced up the stairs to the lab. Clint was sometimes very good at cheering up Tony and sometimes he was very bad at it. Honestly, it was a 50/50 split. Nobody stopped him from trying though because it was a high risk, high reward kind of situation. The odds were, sort of, in their favor.

"Aj, not back yet?" Steve questioned.

"Do you see her here?" Natasha snapped. Steve raised an eyebrow at her, and she let out a small sigh. She shook her head, "Coulson said he'd send her back once they got back to base. They left five minutes ago, so it's only a matter of time."

Bruce stood up from the couch and gave them a smile, "Dinner? Any suggestions?"

He knew, from experience, that days like this happened. They were a team, a family really, but that didn't absolve them of arguments. In fact, it probably worsened them. At the end of the day though, no matter how upset they were at one another, they also knew that the people around them had their backs to the very last fight. Clint and Natasha may have kept this mission from all of them, but Bruce also knew that the two of them would battle to their very last breath for any of them.

"Pizza?" Natasha suggested and Steve nodded in agreement.

"I'll place some orders. The usual?" Bruce motioned to them.

Natasha grinned, "Yes."

Steve pointed at him, "Make sure one has bacon and mushroom, yeah?"

Bruce nodded and moved toward the stairs. Clint and Tony weren't screaming at each other yet which was a great sign. From the looks of it, Tony also wasn't strangling Clint. Two points for Clint. Bruce pushed the door open and stuck his head in.

"Barton, you have the mental stability of a one legged pigeon. I don't want to hear it." Tony scoffed with humor.

Clint, who was sitting on the lab table in front of Tony, smirked, "That must be a real smart pigeon."

Bruce chuckled, "Hey, I'm ordering pizza. What do you guys want?"

"Oh, get some—"

"No." Tony interrupted Clint, "You don't get to pick toppings anymore."

"That's prejudice."

"No, it's common sense. You wouldn't recognize it because you don't have any."

"I'll just get the usual." Bruce mumbled with a laugh while they continued to argue over pizzas. Food was the best kind of peace offering the Avengers had for one another. Moments like this didn't call for soft apologizes. It was more of a 'order food, drink beer, and move on' kind of argument. Tomorrow it would be forgotten.

Bruce pulled his cell phone out to order a pizza, but it buzzed in his hand at the same time. A text from Aj again. This one saying that she was on her way home. He smiled at the screen. Tomorrow things would hopefully be completely back to normal.


Being alone in the quinjet was kind of creepy. Daisy had set it up for me, showed me how to close the back hatch, and then wished me a good trip. This was the Avenger's personal quinjet anyways, so it needed to go back to the Tower. According to Daisy, Coulson had woken up and was doing well. Him and the other agents were in the air heading back to the Playground right now. I'd probably pass them mid-air.

Rather than sit in one of the chairs, I picked a spot on the floor and let my back lean against the wall. What was I going to do? The bad answer was very, very easy and I hated that. My natural instinct, the part of me that I let make decisions for the past five years, was trying to kick in. It was kicking and screaming in my skull for me to run. Drop everything and run.

It would be so easy.

Like breathing.

It used to be easy, at least. I'd like to believe that if I really set my mind to it that I'd be able to leave without even the temptation of looking back. Logically, that's how it should work. I had only been here, known them for a little over two months, and that was nothing. That was nothing. A blink of an eye. They were nothing and I could run. I could run. I could run. I could run until I hit the first illegal fighting ring I found and then things would make sense. If I could just throw a punch right now, break my knuckle against the face of some poor stranger, then maybe things would make a little more sense. My brain wouldn't be clouded and muddled.

Like an addict who hadn't had a hit in weeks, I was itching. Ignoring it had been easy before, but the moment confusion and self-doubt hit, I was lost again.

While one part of my brain formulated an escape plan, the other begged me to stop. Stop and breathe. Take a minute. If I was just being trained into a super, field agent then how come Natasha snapped me funny photos every day and combed her fingers through my hair while we hung out? If I was just some potential inhuman, then how come Bruce went out of his way to take his tea breaks with me? If I was nothing but a tool in SHIELD's shed, then how come Sam traveled all the way from DC just to make sure my brain wasn't imploding on itself? I thought of Steve ordering take-out and watching Netflix with me no matter how much I annoyed him with hypothetic questions. I thought of Tony lashing out in his lab, boiling in rage, at a man he never met just because said man put his hands on me. I thought of the look in Clint's eyes when I showed him my scars, the way he held me while I cried.

With a sigh, I pulled my legs up and leaned my head on them. This wouldn't be easy because they weren't nothing. Two months sounded like a drop in the ocean on paper, but those two months were filled with tons and tons of moments. From big ones to the tiny ones. They all collected and every single one meant the world to me.

Just like I had told Daisy, I became Aj because I needed to be Aj to survive. Right now though, I wasn't the same Aj who was born in that Alabama fighting ring. I had changed a lot. A slow decline for the past five years with a sharp incline in the past two months. Who I was now…? I liked her. I liked who I was right now. I still needed the sharp edges that Aj had, but if I ran today I would be leaving behind a huge chunk of what I've become.

If I was really being honest with myself, I'd do it. I'd be a field agent for them. Not because I really wanted to. I actually had no interest in being an agent of any kind, I already knew I didn't do well with authority, but if they asked me to… if they asked then I would. I'd do anything for them. In the same way that I would still take a bullet for Aubrey, I would throw myself on a grenade for them. The only difference was that I don't think I'd ever trust Aubrey again. But them…?

I trusted them.

Love would come and go in my life, emphasis on the latter, but rarely did I ever trust. For me, trusting was harder than loving. If you expected the worse, if you looked for the signs, then hit the road running the moment things began to go south you avoided so much pain. Losing love was painful but losing love from someone you thought would never hurt you was agonizing. It was the kind of thing I knew I wouldn't survive again.

Was I really ready to risk it for these people?

The jarring motion of the quinjet landing shocked me out of my thoughts. The trip to the Playground was quick, they weren't very far, but it had gone by in a blur for me. I stood up and rubbed the sweat on my palms onto my pants. It took one more minute of me just standing there before I was able to move and hit the button to lower the back hatch. I quickly moved out of the jet and across the jet to try and get out of the biting, cold air.

I had run for far less in the past, and right now I had the biggest red flag staring me right in the face. The me of three months ago would've already been sprinting down the streets of Manhattan.

The penthouse doors opened for me and when I stepped in I was greeted by the smell of pizza and the rumble of laughter hanging in the air. The Avengers were moving around the dining table. Bruce and Natasha were already seated in chairs, Clint was sitting on the table, Tony was carrying pizzas to the table, and Steve was a step behind him with a few beers.

"Kid! You're just in time!" Clint cheered right before Tony slammed the side of one of the pizza boxes against the side of his head, knocking him off the table, "Motherfuck—"

"One on the right has mushrooms and bacon for you." Tony called out while sliding a few of the other boxes on the table. Steve set down the five beers he had and moved back to the kitchen. "Watch out though, because the box in the middle is an abomination."

Natasha threw the top of the box open, "I like pineapple on my pizza. Bite me."

"It's a slight against nature!"

Bruce shook his head with a sigh, "Do we have to have this argument every time we order pizza?"

"Tasha is right. Pineapple on pizza is a win." Clint had crawled up from the floor to grab a few slices for himself.

Tony scoffed and sat down, he cracked the top off the bottles and began to pass them around, "I have seen you eat pizza with hot dogs and beets. You have no right to an opinion, bird brain."

"I stand by that pizza and—" Clint in his passion of the argument ended up dropping his slice of pizza onto the floor face down, "Aw, pizza, no."

He bent over to pick it up and every Avenger at the table yelled out, "No!"

Clint scoffed, "Twenty second rule."

"I get it, I'm 96-years-old, but I'm pretty positive that isn't accurate." Steve called out, walking back to the table with another bottle. He came over to me with a small smile and offered me the bottle in his hand. It was a hard cider. I wasn't a fan of the beer they kept here, but the hard cider Tony had ordered was my favorite. "Welcome back."

I took the bottle with a chuckle, "Did I miss much?"

"The usual amount of arguing." Steve replied.

Steve pulled out a chair for me before taking the seat between me and Clint. Tony slid the fifth bottle down the table and Steve caught it before it went toppling over. Tony scoffed, "By arguing he means Clintasha broke rule number 4."

"Rule number 4?" I questioned.

Bruce spoke up, covering his mouth with his hand, his voice muffled by food, "No hiding world ending missions from one another."

"You guys needed a rule for that one?" I questioned with a laugh.

Clint snickered, "Rule number 7 is Tony isn't allowed to be the race car piece in Monopoly."

"The race car incident was your damn fault." Tony snapped back. "I still want to appeal that one."

"Denied." Everyone at the table chorused at once.

Tony mumbled a string of grumbling curses under his breath. I watched as the conversation focused back on Clint and his pizza. He had turned around to pick up the slice on the floor and everyone was trying to keep him from eating it. Clint though was adamant that this slice was more important than the multiple boxes of pizza in front of him. I couldn't help but grin while listening to them attack Clint and his decisions in life.

The question of the day was: Would I be willing trust the Avengers and risk the agonizing pain of betrayal from them?

And the answer was, without a doubt, yes. Absolutely, yes.