A/N: HERE IT IS. YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING. I really, really hope it lives up to the hype lolol. It's long as hell, nearly 22k words, and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear some feeback from y'all. This was a beast and a half to write lol.


Chapter #29:

B-SIDE


"When he felt her fingers, he flinched; he had not been touched with such gentleness since his childhood. He was no stranger to women and had felt their hands on all parts of his body, but her touch made him feel like he belonged some place." –Melina Marchetta (Finnikin of the Rock)


[2015-03-09] [14:09:11] [45.657976, 25.601198]

"Hey! Wow, I was really hoping you'd pick up the phone, hah. That's okay though. So, um, funny story. Last night's party was a total shit show, that's why I didn't call FYI, but today I—uh—well, like I said, this is so funny you're going to laugh. I am on my way to Romania? Which, I don't know if you know this but when you're not on a quinjet the travel time is like 10 hours. Absolutely ridiculous, right? I've been spoiled. Um, back to my earlier point… I know about where you are and I'm flying there. Well, to the nearest airport at least. Sam found a lead, someone found you and sent it to him, but I…I panicked. It's a long story I just wanted to warn you. The front counter lady is yelling at me to get on the plane and I—um, well, it's… 8 in the morning here so I'll probably be landing in Bucharest at like 6 in the evening so—okay! Jesus, lady, I'm coming!— Sorry. I really gotta go. Um, I'll either see you soon or I won't? I thought about it and it's okay if you don't wanna see me. That's on me for panicking and buying a plane ticket I just… I don't know, be safe and know that someone out there knows where you are, Buck. Okay. Bye."

The voicemail had ended, but Bucky still hadn't lowered the phone from his ear. Aj was on her way to Romania? The Avengers let her out of their sight while her psycho abuser was still out and on the loose? He finally pulled the phone from his ear to check the time. It was 2 in the afternoon right now. She had been in the air for 6 hours already. Bucky mumbled a curse under his breath.

He should've answered the damn phone.

The thing was, Bucky knew that his location had been compromised. He had felt eyes on him a few days ago, and whoever their lead was hadn't been subtle. It was why he had spent most of today traveling. He had felt his phone vibrating earlier, but he figured it was just Aj calling about her party last night and that after he found a new spot to hide out he could call her back. Fucking hell.

Bucky hated that he hesitated. He hated that a small voice in the back of his head told him to keep running. He couldn't be found, not by anyone, and going to pick up Aj at the airport was worse than just being found. It was being seen. It was being seen by blue eyes that knew way too much about him now.

The line of thought only lasted seconds though.

Bucky was on the move. Today's travels had brought him all the way up to Brasov which was a lot further away from Bucharest than his old hiding place. It would take him 4 hours to get to Bucharest now. That just barely gave him enough time. He'd be cutting it real damn close. Bucky stormed up to a man, sitting on his motorcycle talking to a few women, and without saying a word he ripped the guy off his seat. The women screamed, but it didn't deter him. Bucky took off down the street in a hurry. Stealing a motorcycle from some poor stranger wasn't the proudest of moments for him, but he needed to be at the airport right now. Aj was coming to Romania, while people roamed the Earth looking to hurt her, and he'd be damned if a single one got their hands on her.


[2015-03-09] [18:34:21] [44.570732, 26.084412]

Tony Stark absolutely ruined me. My peasant ass had gotten used to quinjets and private planes so sitting in coach between two strangers talking over my head for 10 hours was the literal definition of hell. For most of that time, I contemplated purposefully choking on my complementary peanuts just to get the reprieve of death or unconsciousness. It had to better than this. It was my own fault anyway. When buying the ticket I forgot I was now considered a rich asshole and just picked a coach seat because it was better priced. Then 23 minutes and 17 seconds into the flight when I asked to be bumped up to first class, the stewardess informed me that all first class seats were occupied.

So, like most tragic instances in my life, I only had myself to blame.

When the plane finally landed though, and I was free of that cursed, metal tube, it took all my strength not to kiss the Romanian airport floor. The lady behind the desk was already shooting me an odd look and, damn it, I refused to lose what was left of my dignity.

Just like in Paris, my passport gave me special treatment. I assumed it was a rich person thing and it made going through customs an absolute breeze. I had that going for me in life at least.

Now, I stood in the main lobby of the airport, not knowing a single word of this language, and also not knowing if Bucky was even going to be here to meet me. Slowly, it began to dawn on me just how poorly I had planned this sub-par, sort of rescue operation. The burner phone felt like a one-hundred-pound weight in my jacket pocket that was calling out to me like a siren. I wanted to grab it, flip it open, and call Bucky, but I couldn't do that right?

Obviously if he wasn't here that should be message enough. I didn't have any missed calls or texts on it from him. Realistically though, the only thing that really mattered was that Bucky got my message and knew he couldn't stay wherever he had been. Above all else, I wanted him to be safe. Not that I thought Sam would hurt him if the man found him, but I figured if Sam was that close to finding him that meant HYRDA might be too. At the end of the day, seeing him and convincing him to come home with me would've just been an added bonus.

People bumped into me as I drifted aimlessly around the busy lobby. I felt eyes on the back of my neck, but I figured that was just a bunch of Romanians looking at the lost American girl. I glanced around to look for a sign leading me towards the help desk. The ticket I bought to get here had been one way so now I needed to buy a ticket back. Was it pathetic that I was planning my exit the moment I actually got here? Very much so. That wasn't lost on me.

I turned around a corner and spotted a large, noisy crowd gathered under a large plasma screen television mounted on the wall. The news anchor was talking in a panicked fury. I didn't understand any Romanian, spoken or read, but I did recognize the giant, green behemoth throwing cars down the streets of an unsuspecting city.

"Fuck!" I cried out, catching the attention of a few people around me, and dug through my bag for my real phone. With shaking hands, I turned off airplane mode and watched as multiple calls and messages came through. Most of them were from Beth and Maria Hill. The first was asking me to chime in on how to deal with this PR nightmare, and the second was telling me exactly what I needed to say to the public about all of this. I took a screenshot of Maria's text, sent it to Beth as an answer, then immediately hit the number for Tony Stark.

The phone rang a few times before Tony picked up.

"Aj? Is everything okay?"

"Tony what the hell is going on!? Is Bruce okay? Are all y'all okay? On the news—"

"We're fine. Mission went… well, mission went to hell and that's putting it nicely." Tony groaned. "Are you just now hearing about this? Hulk's been on a rampage for about…12 minutes now? Ish. I was tied up with Ultron and everyone else was…"

I couldn't exactly tell him that I didn't notice it before because I was on a plane with no service. Instead, I focused on his second statement, "What about everyone else?"

"The enhanced girl did a number on them. She's the reason why Bruce hulked out too." Tony sighed. He grunted once and I watched as the Veronica suit landed on the street on the television. "Listen, I gotta let you go. Hulk wants to kick my ass. Stay safe."

"Be careful." I said quickly, but the line went dead. On TV, Hulk sprinted down the street and tackled Tony. I spun around so I wasn't facing the screen. I couldn't watch. I just couldn't.

That feeling of helplessness bubbled up inside of me again. My family was in Africa getting their asses handed to them and I stood in Romania doing absolutely nothing. Was this my life now? Constantly glued to a TV or hidden behind a pillar waiting to see if the people I loved would come back to me? The crowd behind me was getting rowdy, I could hear them talking loudly, but I still couldn't bring myself to turn around and see what it was.

With shaking hands, I desperately glanced around the room looking for something in English to help me get where I needed to go. At least if I went back to New York I could work with Beth on this PR train wreck. Another plus side was that no Avenger knew I had come all the way out here so that meant the only people who knew how pathetic I was, was me and Bucky.

I tapped my phone against my hand a couple times before sending a couple more texts to Beth telling her what angle to take. Maria Hill was requesting to keep everything vague and to not mention Ultron at all. Beth said Twitter was not being kind to the Hulk right now, and I was almost afraid to check it myself.

This was a mess. A mess and a bad idea. Two things I exceled at.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and went back to looking for the front desk. My eyes scanned the room looking at faces. I was mentally trying to pick a Romanian to pull aside and try to get help from. What did a Romanian who also spoke English look like?

All of that was interrupted when my eyes drifted over a familiar face only to snap back in shock. Across the room from me, straight ahead of me actually, was a tall, broad man in a baseball cap and red henley. He had on a dark blue jacket, black gloves, and he was staring just as intently as I was. Even from here I could see the familiar shade of stormy gray blue eyes.

Bucky.

It was Bucky.

Bucky was here.

My heart fluttered in my chest and my breath caught in my throat. It was so weird to see him in person. The last time I saw that face, not in a picture, I had been concussed and dying of sepsis. This was better. This was so much better. I was running before I even knew I was running. My body slammed into his and it was like hitting a brick wall. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and buried my face into the crook of his neck. This was Bucky. The man who saved my life. My first real friend in a long time. The man who spent countless nights talking into a shitty flip phone just to stave away my nightmares.

Bucky's shoulders were stiff, and I suddenly realized what I was doing. I quickly released his neck and took a huge step back, "Oh my God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't think. You're just—You're here." His eyes were wide. Bucky's hair was tied into a low bun under the rim of his hat. There was more scruff on his jawline, and he looked bigger. "You're… You're Bucky."

A slow smile cracked on his features. He chuckled, glanced down briefly, and then met my eyes again, "Hey, doll."

"I didn't mean to tackle you. I got excited." I shook my head. "I should've asked first but—I—Hey, can I hug you? Again? You can say no. I won't hold it against you because I know I probably seem a little insane right now. The flight was really, really long."

Bucky hesitated for a moment before nodding his head once with the corner of his lip quirked up into a small smile. I pushed myself up onto my toes, wrapped my arms around his neck again, and hugged him tightly. He tensed again, only for a few seconds, and then I felt his arms carefully wrap around me. As if I'd break if he grasped me too tightly. In response, I just held him tighter.

It was Bucky.


[2015-03-09] [18:41:12] [44.570732, 26.084412]

He couldn't remember the last time he hugged someone. In fact, this was the closest Bucky had someone in God knows how long. The entire time he raced here, he knew he was racing to Aj, but seeing her was different. Bucky loved hearing her ramble over the phone but being able to see her eyes light up and see the glow of her smile was so much better. Aj shifted in the hug and when her cheek pressed against his bare neck he sucked in a sharp breath.

Bucky hated to admit how much he liked the way she felt in his arms. It was honestly pathetic of him. To be reduced to a mental puddle just at the touch of this small, reckless woman. He couldn't help it though. For the past three months she had become an anchor in his life. Her voice seemed like a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. Something to keep edging him on, and to finally see that light in person? God, he was starstruck.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up." She mumbled into his shoulder in an amused tone.

The words snapped him back to the moment though. He dropped his arms and she responded in turn by pulling away. Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and took a large step back. Distance. He needed to keep distance. He was a cursed man. Everything he touched turned to rubble. For the last 70 years, all his body knew was blood and pain. Aj was relatively safe over the phone, but standing in front of him here? She was in danger. He was dangerous.

"Are you insane?" Bucky said. He kept his voice soft, but his tone firm.

She smirked at him and raised a finger to point in his direction, "It's kinda funny you ask me that because Steve just asked me the same question last night so…"

Bucky shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, "Aj, I'm serious. Coming here was a mistake. Do the Avengers know you're here?"

"I think you know the answer to that question, Bucky."

"You shouldn't have done this. You should've just called me, given me the news, and then stayed in New York." He scolded her, but her smile hadn't faltered. Aj just beamed up at him. "You have dangerous people after you, I have dangerous people after me, not to mention the fact that I'm—Doll, what are you smiling at?"

Aj just chuckled and shrugged her shoulders, "I'm just really happy to see you, Bucky."

That was all it took. One smile, one line. He felt his stomach flip, and his irritation and worry melted away. Bucky really had gone soft for the dame in front of him if that was all it took. He couldn't bite back a small smile of his own. Aj saw him break and her grin widened, something he didn't think was possible.

She had on plain clothes, something to help her keep under the radar, and Bucky couldn't help but be amused by the tiny, embroidered 'Captain America' shield on the front of her baseball cap. Aj still had on his jacket. Just like it had in that cold, Russian bunker, it dwarfed her small frame. Bucky took in the details that he hadn't really seen before. The tabloids he saw her in didn't have high quality photos and the last time he saw her in person she was bruised and bloodied. Aj had freckles, light and barely there, they dusted the bridge of her nose. She had a crescent scar under her right eye, and he remembered that wound clearly. He knew it would scar.

"You're staring, you know." Aj teased. She lifted her hands to grip the straps of her bookbag. He saw maroon and gold matching bracelets on either wrist. She rocked onto her heels then forward again, "See something you like?"

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, "You are just as mouthy in person as you are on the phone."

"Well, of course. That's part of my charm." She winked.

"Sure, doll." He replied. Bucky let his eyes glance around the room nervously again. They were in a very crowded area and that made staying on guard more difficult. He looked back to her, "When's your flight back home?"

Her eyes widened, "You're already trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm trying to get you to safety."

Aj took a step forward, so he was only half a foot away from her now, and tilted her head a bit, "I'm always safe when I'm with you, dummy."

"You're doing it again." Bucky argued. "Giving me too much credit."

"You're doing it again." She countered. "Selling yourself short."

Bucky took in a slow breath, glanced around again, then settled back on her, "Is there any version of this argument where I win?"

"Nope." She popped her 'p' with a smug grin. He held her gaze and watched as her smile faltered for the first time. Aj tried to maintain it, but it didn't reach her eyes anymore, "Plus, all my other friends are out fighting a psycho robot and I think staying on the ground to hear an update on them would be better than being blind in the air."

Psycho robot? Had she just said psycho robot? Yeah, never mind, fuck that. She wasn't leaving his side until he knew for sure that some metal man wasn't gonna drop out of the sky to hurt her. The future was ridiculous.

"Come on." He motioned his head to the side. "Let's get out of here."

Aj shot him a thankful smile and followed him out. Bucky shoved his hands into his coat pocket and stayed a step ahead of her to scan for threats. Halfway to the airport exit he felt a hand loop through his right arm as Aj pulled herself closer. He knew he stiffened at the sudden contact, but she hadn't seemed to notice it. Bucky glanced over at her to see her walking casually like she hadn't done anything at all. She must have felt his gaze because Aj glanced up at him curiously.

It took a second for realization to dawn on her, and the moment it did she ripped her arm away from him. Aj cleared her throat, "Sorry, just a habit."

Bucky wanted to tell her it was okay. Human contact was foreign to him these days, but with Aj it didn't feel so strange. He could get used to it all too easy. However, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve her soft and comforting touch. Bucky was like a sharp edge. A bush of only thistles and thorns. Aj would only bleed if she reached out to him, and Bucky couldn't stomach the thought of hurting her.

They quietly left the building and Bucky led her to the parking lot where he left the stolen motorcycle. He didn't really have an actual plan. He was still just trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aj was standing beside him. Aj. She was actually here. In Romania.

"Nice bike." She commented.

"Thanks, I stole it." Bucky replied. Aj laughed and he wasn't sure if it was because his comment was funny or if she just thought he was joking. He got onto the motorcycle and nodded, "It's late. I figure we should find a place to stay in the city tonight. Lay low then figure out the rest in the morning." Aj nodded in agreement. "Do you need help getting—"

Aj stepped forward and got onto the motorcycle behind him. She put her feet out of the way and wrapped her arms around him. More contact, but this time it couldn't be avoided. Bucky wished he had a helmet to give her. Maybe he should've stolen that too. He turned his head to speak.

"When we turn I need—"

"Lean when you lean, hang on tight, keep my feet on the footrests, and do not wiggle around." Bucky turned to meet her eyes and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged. "This isn't the first time I've ridden on the back of a motorcycle."

Based on the extensive list of rules she knew, he would bet the other person she rode with was Steve. He nodded once then got the bike going. The airport was north of the center of the city and he knew the best place to keep out of sight was going somewhere heavily crowded where they'd be hard to pick out. The sun had already set which was no problem for his eyesight, but he knew Aj was riding blind. It was a shame. Bucharest was actually pretty and after coming back from Paris she talked for days about wanting to travel and see different places around the world.

Ten minutes into the drive, she tapped on his stomach, "Bucky!"

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked quickly, slowing the bike a little more.

"You drive like a grandma! I could walk faster than this, Barnes!" Aj shouted to be heard over the wind, but Bucky could hear her as clear as a bell. He chuckled to himself used one hand to turn the cap he had on backwards so it wouldn't blow off. Then he used the same hand to grab hers. Bucky squeezed them together and she got the message to hold on tighter. Then he pulled back on the throttle and let the bike roar to life.

Bucky could handle this speed easily. If it got any darker he might start having a hard time, but right now there was just enough light that he could see the entire view in front of him. He also knew he'd be able to make quick decisions on the bike if need be. The only reason he had gone slow was because he didn't want to spook Aj, but he should've known better.

The woman was a hurricane. Undeterred and unstoppable. A thrill seeker who fed off adrenaline. She let out a cry of excitement as he weaved around cars with ease. Aj was an agent of chaos in the best way possible.

Going their new speed, it took only ten more minutes to get where Bucky planned to go. It was a more…run down part of Bucharest, but he knew the motels and hostels around here would give out rooms cheap and they didn't ask questions. He pulled the bike into the lip of an alley to hide and he felt Aj peek around him.

"That's where we're staying?" She pointed to the building ahead of them.

He understood her tone. The building was coated in graffiti, there were bars over every window of the four story place, and the stray dog wandering on the sidewalk outside was definitely eating a dead bird.

"We'll be safe here." Bucky shrugged.

"No, we're gonna get murdered here."

Bucky glanced over his shoulder skeptically, "Doll, if you think I'd ever let you get murdered…"

She smiled sweetly at him, "You won't have much of a say in the matter if they murder you first." Aj glanced back at the building, a sad look filling her bold eyes, then looked back at him. "Bucky is this how you've been living?"

Bucky cleared his throat in embarrassment. He was suddenly hyper aware of her hands still being wrapped around his abdomen. He shrugged and focused his gaze ahead, "Not so bad. You get used to it. I don't need much."

Aj hummed to herself then pulled one hand away to reach for something. She was quiet behind him for only a couple minutes before she reached forward again and showed him the screen of her phone. It wasn't the burner phone he sent her. It was one of the fancy, modern ones he saw everyone carrying.

"Drive here. Follow the directions."

"Where is it taking us?" Bucky asked skeptically.

"To an actual hotel where we won't get murdered and/or catch some horrible, rare disease." She replied. Bucky stiffened, opened his mouth to argue, but she leaned sat up and leaned forward to put her chin on his shoulder. "Please? Just for tonight. Let me take care of you. You trust me, right?"

Bucky sighed and let the bike roll forward back onto the road. He did trust her. There were two people in this world right now that he trusted. Steve and her. Bucky didn't even trust himself. Even on the days where his memory was a little hazy and he couldn't remember the details he wanted to, he always knew that he could trust Steve and he could trust Aj.

It took five minutes to get to the hotel her phone led them to and Bucky felt out of place. This was in the heart of Bucharest. It was where tourists would go and stay on vacation. The streets were well lit, and people still wandered down the streets socializing as the night had just begun. The only reason he hadn't immediately turned around was because he could hear Aj gasping in awe as she whipped her head around to look.

"Okay, pull up there." She pointed to the front of a glowing, castle of a building that they were apparently about to stay in. He felt himself stiffen in panic. "Turn your hat around, and if you have sunglasses put them on."

"It's night." He argued but pulled out the cheap pair he had in the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Trust me." She whispered back.

Bucky pulled the bike right up to the front following a few other cars around them. The moment he came to a stop a man in a bright red vest hurried up to them. Bucky assessed the man quickly. He was a low-level threat. No weapon on him and short in stature. While Bucky continued to assess everyone around them he suddenly felt Aj climb off the bike. She had pulled her cap down as far as it would go and put on a pair of sunglasses herself. Aj reached toward him, snatching the keys out of the ignition, and he watched in a mixture of shock and awe as she pulled out a handful of cash.

"English?"

"Yes, ma'am." The Romanian man nodded.

Aj handed him the keys along with the cash and shot him an award winning smile, "The tip is yours if you park the bike under no name. I'll give you the same tip when we come back for it tomorrow morning."

The man's eyes widened as he stared down at the cash then he grinned and nodded, "Of course, ma'am! Right away!"

Bucky hesitantly climbed off the back and stepped toward Aj. He nodded once at her, "Look at you, doll. You're high class."

Aj leaned forward and whispered, "Hey, can I put my arm through yours? Just until we get our room key and then I'll let go. Promise. Is that okay?"

Bucky was touched she asked first this time. Apparently, she did notice how he stiffened under her hands. He nodded and she looped her arm through his just like she had at the airport. People glanced their way as they walked into the ornate lobby and Bucky felt the hair on the back of his neck stand in panic. As Aj led them to the front desk, he let his sunglass covered eyes look around the room. He assessed people and counted the exit strategies.

"Can I help you?" The woman at the front desk asked in English.

"Yes, I'd like a suite for the night." Aj requested.

The woman shook her head, "The only suite we have available right now is our platinum suite they go for—"

Aj pulled out another wad of cash. Where the hell was she keeping all this? She handed it over the counter with another kind smile, "Thank you. The name is Jane Doe. You can keep the remainder as a tip. I really appreciate the work you do."

The woman's eyes lit up, "Why thank you, Ms. Doe. Let me get your suite key cards."

Another tense moment of feeling eyes on his back and the woman finally handed Aj a packet. She wished them a lovely stay, and he pulled them away from the desk. Being on the move felt so much better than standing there under the spotlight. Aj pulled her arm away from his as they boarded the elevator and went up to the 7th floor.

Bucky followed her quietly and waited for something to kick down a door and grab them. The building was too crowded, too well-lit, too accessible for anyone who wanted to do them harm. He didn't even notice they had reached the room until Aj opened the door.

The suite was elegant and large. The door opened into a short hallway that opened up into a large living area with couches pointed toward a television. In the corner of the room was a dining table that could fit four. To the left was a full kitchen and to the right was the bedroom space. There was a large bed, a dresser, a desk, and a set of double doors that he assumed went into the bathroom. Straight ahead were glass doors that led out onto a balcony.

Bucky could fit 10 of the apartment he stayed at in Alexandra into this room. Seeing the items of luxury, he kind of forgot this kind of world even existed. As he looked around though, he couldn't help but feel out of place. Someone like him didn't belong in this world. He always had that sneaking suspicion but standing here and feeling the contrast made it more evident if that were even possible. On the other hand, Aj just set her bookbag down without blinking an eye. This was her world now. He had sent her off with the Avengers and now she was used to this. It made him happy. He was glad she had this kind of life with them.

Aj was a force of nature, a blinding white light at the end of his tunnel.

Bucky was just a dark smudge at the end of a book that had already been closed and put away.

The two didn't belong side by side. He knew it, but seeing it hurt all the same.


[2015-03-09] [19:11:48] [44.425477, 26.076585]

The room was really nice. Excessively so, but Bucky deserved to be pampered for at least one night. Hopefully, I could turn this into more and get him home with me, but that was like step 12 of my plan and I was still at step 2.5. I tossed my bookbag to the ground by the couch and took off my sunglasses. With all the cash I was tossing around, I was glad I had made the stop in the New York airport to take so much out of an ATM. I didn't want to use my debit card unless it was a real emergency.

I turned to look at Bucky and noticed the dazed look in his eyes. If he really was staying at places like the one he tried to take me to then it was understandable. He would adjust though. The room was nice, we could order in a good meal from room service, he could take a nice, hot shower, and maybe I could even get him some new clothes or—

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

"I'm turning into Tony Stark." I breathed in disbelief. Bucky shot me a confused look, one eyebrow raised, but I just gaped at him. I was being a whirlwind of money with good intentions, but poor Bucky was left scrambling. I knew exactly what that felt like. To have everything you were used to flipped upside down so quickly. I was literally acting like Tony. He could never know about this. I'd never live it down.

"Bucky, I am so sorry." I said quickly and his confusion only grew, "I didn't even think—"

My apology was cut short when my cell phone began to ring. Quickly, I pulled it out and the picture of Clint with his face smushed up against a glass filled the screen. My eyes widened and I looked up at Bucky. He nodded, "Take it."

"Just—Just one second. I'll be right back." I said and hurried over to the glass doors that led out to the balcony. I was praying Bucky didn't make a run for it while I was on the phone. I dropped down into the chair they had out here and hesitated. Was this good news or bad news? Swallowing my fear, I answered, "Clint?"

"Hey, kid." I heard him sigh. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that, Clint." I replied quickly, not hiding my worry, "I saw Bruce on the news and…"

There was a beat and Clint filled it, "We're alive."

My face twisted in annoyance, "I'm happy to hear that, but that's not entirely what I meant. Clint… Are you guys okay?"

It was silent again and this one lasted longer. My fear was palpable as I waited to hear his voice. Clint sighed, "We… We took a hit today, kid. A pretty bad one."

A curse slipped my lips and that feeling of uselessness hit me again hard. I rubbed my face with one hand, tired from the long flight and bottled up worry, "What can I do? Do they need to talk?" I was desperate to help in some little way. Anything. "Just put them on the line and I'll—"

"They're not really in a talking mood yet." Clint said softly. "Don't worry about us. We always bounce back."

"Clint, that's not as comforting as you might think it is." I said as firmly as I could.

"Fair enough. Hey, I also needed to tell you that we aren't gonna make it back to the Tower tonight. We're on route to a safe house right now."

Shit. Was it really that bad? The public was probably destroying them in the media too which didn't help anything. This time when I spoke I couldn't bite back the quiver in my voice, "Clint…"

"Just—Just focus on the PR work for us. We made a big mess for you to clean up." Clint joked, but it only made my heart ache. I couldn't even do that for them because I had left the country. The one thing they explicitly told me not to do. "Just promise me you'll stay in the Compound." This time my heart just sunk like a rock in water. Guilt mingled with the worry and fear already bottled up in my chest. "Aj?"

"Yeah, okay. I will, Clint." I lied. "Don't worry about me. Just focus on y'all."

Clint gave me a soft affirmative and then we said goodbye to one another. I hung up the line and just let the phone sit in my lap. My family had taken a blow today and not only could I not help them, but I didn't even really know what was wrong. I had gotten to talk to Tony earlier and now Clint, but what about the others?

I sucked in the chilly Romanian night air then forced myself to stand. One problem at a time. The Bucky issue I could at least work with. I stepped back inside the room to see that Bucky had shed out of his coat, leaving him only in his hat, red henley, and jeans. He was sitting on the couch, which was also a good sign, but when I looked past him I saw he had jammed a chair under the knob of the front door. If anyone else had done that it'd give me chills, but I knew Bucky wasn't about to murder me in this expensive ass hotel room.

I quickly crossed the room and sat on the couch beside him, leaving the middle cushion between us open, "I'm sorry for dragging you here. I wanted to do something nice, but I realize now it made you uncomfortable. We can leave."

"No, it's okay." Bucky replied quickly. "You already paid, and you need rest."

There was an awkward pause of silence between us and I didn't know what to do with it. We never had awkward moments over the phone. Conversation always flowed so easily between us. He felt like an old friend to me, but right now it just felt… tense.

"It's weird me being here, isn't it?" I asked with a frown.

"It's not weird." Bucky argued.

I shook my head, "Bucky, it's super weird. I'll admit I didn't think this plan entirely through. It was a little…spur of the moment. The word reckless should probably be thrown in there too." He chuckled lightly. "I just wanted to make sure you were safe…"

That was one reason. I wanted to make sure he was safe. I also wanted to convince him to come home. More than that though? Finding him, winning him over to Team New York, gave me something to do. If I was at the Compound right now working on PR it'd be driving me crazy. To see the damage in media, to see the carnage from their fight, but not be able to do anything other than send out a tweet? It was torture. At least with this I was busy.

I was useful.

"Aj, I don't want to hurt you." Bucky said suddenly. I turned to look at him with a frown, but that didn't deter his words. "Your chances of getting hurt by me are a lot higher right now compared to when we just talk on the phone."

I shook my head and turned in my seat to face him, "My chances of getting hurt by you are zero."

"Be realistic." Bucky argued firmly. He turned to face me as well. "I'm serious—"

"So am I!" I said. "I don't know how I know it so confidently, but…" I tried to find the words but failed. It was a feeling. A gut instinct. "You can't hurt me, Bucky." Disbelief and disappointment painted his features and I hated it. That's not the emotion I wanted to bring into his life. I nodded once, "Let's just go back to the usual."

"The usual?"

I rooted around in my jacket pocket and pulled out the burner phone. He gave me a skeptical look, but I just called his number like I had a hundred times before. The sound of Bucky's phone going off filled the air and finally his lips twitched up into a small, amused smirk. Bucky reached down to his own bookbag and pulled out a matching phone.

Bucky flipped it open and brought it to his ear.

"Bucky?" I asked and heard my voice echo through his own line.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, "Hey, doll."

"How're you doing?"

"Well, I was in the middle of arguing with a brick wall when you called." He shot me a look then smirked, "So not so great."

I groaned in good nature, "God, isn't that just the worst? Funnily enough, you mention arguments, I'm actually 2 for 2 in my arguments today. Won them both. You want some pointers?"

Bucky leaned back in his seat, only amusement in his pretty eyes, "You got any pointers on how to deal with a pain in the ass?"

"Bucky!" I gasped. "My virgin ears can't handle that kind of crude talk!"

He hung up the phone and pointed it me with a chuckle, "You're impossible. You know that? I pity anybody who tries to stand in your way."

I flipped my phone closed and stuffed it back into my pocket with a smirk, "Then get with the program and stay on my side, Barnes."

Bucky pulled his cap off, undid his small bun, and then ran his right ungloved hand through it. He still hadn't taken off his left hand's glove, but I didn't press the topic. I had something else to talk about now.

"What is going on with your hair?" I scoffed. It went well past his shoulders now, "Your hair is longer than mine was when we first met."

Bucky narrowed his eyes at me, "My hair when we first met was longer than yours then even."

"Okay, it was the same length if anything." I mumbled with a pout. Before I could regret my decision, I scooted closer to him on the couch. Bucky didn't flinch or tense so I took that as a win. He had nice hair, but if it got any longer he'd be tripping over it.

Bucky shrugged, "Going to a barber hasn't been high on my list of priorities."

"Want me to cut it?"

Bucky seemed taken aback, "Huh?"

"Cut it?" I lifted my fingers to make the cutting motion. "I used to cut my hair anytime it got longer than my shoulders. I can't do anything fancy, but…" I tilted my head looking at him at different angles, "Hell, yours will probably be easier than mine because with me I had to use a lot of mirrors and guesswork."

Bucky shook his head, "Moving into the future you should maybe work on your sales pitch, doll."

"Duly noted." I chirped.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand then shifted in his seat a little, "Um, yeah. Can you? Please?"

"Hells yeah, let's do this. I haven't cut hair in forever."

"Again, with the sales pitch."

I jumped up and walked over to the kitchen. The knife set was missing the scissors, but after digging through a few drawers I finally found a pair. The quality was poor considering the kind of room we were staying in, but they'd work perfectly fine. They just had a little rust around the hinge. Like someone left it in the sink for too long.

"Come on." I motioned for him to follow me toward the bathroom. It'd be easier to clean his cut hair in here.

The bathroom was excessively nice as well. White marble floors with a black trim where the floors met the wall. The shower was closed off and hidden in a decently sized room with a glass door separating it from the room. Beside that was a large jacuzzi tub, and on the other side of the tub was a large counter with two sinks. I set the scissors on the counter and pulled my own hat off while Bucky stepped into the bathroom hesitantly. I rolled my eyes, "I'm not gonna murder you in the bathroom with a pair of scissors, Fabio."

Bucky shot me a look, "I don't know who that is so your joke is a waste.

I chuckled and pointed for him to sit on the edge of the jacuzzi tub. Then I quickly undid my ponytail to put it up into a messy bun that was much more loose and comfortable. I shrugged out of my jacket and replaced it with the scissors on the counter.

"I was gonna cut it to like the nape of your neck. Is that okay?"

"Do what you want, doll." He shrugged.

Quietly, I focused on his hair and went to work. It really wasn't hard to just trim off some of the length, but, like I said, it had been a while and I wanted to make it look nice. He had a handsome face. It'd be a huge bummer if I paired it with a shitty haircut. Bucky just sat there, stock still, as I worked. I had noticed his aversion to touch pretty quickly and felt honored he let me get this close. Just like in the bunker, when he told me he had to do something good just to try and offset some of the bad in his life, I understood him on this. That was something I always liked about Bucky. It was one of the things that made talking to him or being around him easy. We understood one another.

I stepped into the tub to cut the back of his hair, humming while I worked, and he finally spoke up, "So, psycho robot?"

"Oh. Yeah." I paused in cutting for a second to gather my thoughts. "Long story short, Tony and Bruce accidentally created a robot that wants to annihilate the Avengers? I was a witness. They didn't really create it though. It was more like… they created an opening for Thor's magic staff to take advantage of. That's my theory at least."

"You were a witness? Were you around the thing?"

I went back to cutting, "Yeah, I like watching them work so I was in the lab with them. Then I was there when Ultron, that's the psycho robot's name, attacked the first time." Bucky suddenly turned and I hissed in annoyance, "Hey, I'm gonna mess up your hair!"

"They let you get attacked by a robot?" Bucky demanded.

"Let is a strong word." I replied. "It was the night I never called you, remember? The party?" He nodded. "We were hanging out and it attacked all of us. They told me get out and hide but…"

Bucky narrowed his eyes at me with a knowing look, "But?"

"But I maybe didn't." I mumbled back. Bucky groaned and I shot him an apologetic look, "If it makes you feel any better, Steve ripped me a new one. We've argued before, but that was the first time he ever yelled at me."

Bucky snorted then turned back around so I could keep cutting. I questioned him about it, and he chuckled again, "It's nothing. I just think the idea of Steve 'Let me pick a fight with every man in Brooklyn'Rogers yelling at someone for being reckless is kind of funny."

"That's actually a good point, and I wish I had thought of it before." I nodded and focused on his hair, "Though if I had said something like that to him he probably would've had a heart attack."

"Probably."

I finished up at the back and moved back to the front to make sure both sides were even and level. The right side was a little longer than the left, but I didn't want to trim too much and then end up having the left side be longer. I snipped at it a little at a time determined to get it just right. I glanced at the left side again quickly, but on my way back to looking at the right side my eyes caught his gaze. I hadn't realized how close I had leaned in toward him, but now I was acutely aware that I was only a couple inches from his face. Bucky didn't move or react in any way. He just stared at me with a soft look in his eyes. It was hypnotizing.

In fact, it was so hypnotizing that I didn't realize I had stabbed him in the neck with the scissors until he hissed in pain.

"Shit!" I yelped and threw the scissors in the tub. There was a small nick on the side of his neck that was bleeding. I grabbed the hand towel behind me on the wall and shoved it against the side of his neck. "Oh my God, I stabbed you!"

"If you were trying to kill me you missed my jugular." Bucky chuckled.

"Shut up!" I pressed the towel against his neck harder trying to ignore the warmth filling my cheeks. "First, I try to kill Captain America with his own shield and then I stab his best friend in the neck with a pair of rusty scissors."

Bucky's chuckles turned into full body shaking laughter. As embarrassed as I was, I couldn't help but stare in awe at the grin on his face. Yes, he was laughing at my expense, but at least he was laughing.

"Well, I'm glad you're amused." I scoffed.

He shook his head and focused his gaze back on me, "How do you do that?"

"Fuck up so consistently?" I replied. "I have no Earthly idea. I've been asking myself that my entire life."

"That's not what I meant." Bucky said warmly. It was quiet as I soaked that in. Nothing more had to be said. He reached down to scoop the scissors out of the tub and then placed them back into my hand. Bucky smirked at me, the way I imaged he did so many times while we were on the phone, and the look on his face could only be described as charming, "Come on, finish up. I'm not walking around with a lopsided haircut because you got lost in my eyes, doll."

I knew I was blushing. The smile, the voice, the charm. Motherfucker knew exactly what he was doing. I set the slightly blood-stained towel aside and then pointed at him with the end of the scissors, "You know what? Now, I kind of hope you get tetanus."


[2015-03-09] [20:11:10] [44.425477, 26.076585]

There was something religious about a hot shower. Bucky had never thought that before, at least he didn't remember ever thinking it, but the steaming hot water running over his head and down his body definitely felt like a holy experience. The shower back in his apartment in Alexandra hadn't been terrible, but the water lost heat usually pretty quickly and the pressure was somewhere between dripping faucet and water fountain spray.

He let his hands run through his hair and lifted his face to the shower head. Words didn't describe how grateful he was for his haircut. His hair had gotten really long, longer than he liked, but Bucky never got around to trying to cut it himself. Bucky actually didn't get around to doing a lot for himself now that he thought about it. He'd do the bare minimum, keep himself alive, but anything beyond that seemed like too much.

Between the haircut, the hot shower, and knowing Aj was out in the living room ordering an excessive amount of food for them, Bucky felt like an actual human being again. He knew he didn't deserve it, that indulging in this moment was selfish, but it felt so nice. To pretend like he was normal. That all of this was normal.

Bucky shut off the water and stepped out of it into the steamy bathroom. He tied a towel around his waist and used a smaller one to dry his hair. As the mirror began to clear his eyes landed on his metal arm. Bucky flexed it a few times and flinched when his entire shoulder ached. The scars from around where the metal dug into his skin was angry and red. HYDRA had built the arm into his shoulder. It wasn't removable and it needed constant upkeep. Nobody had worked on it since he went into hiding. Not that he wanted HYDRA to work on it. He didn't want to be anywhere near them ever again, but he couldn't deny that he didn't need some kind of help.

With clenched teeth, he set his right hand on the left shoulder and rolled it a few times. Something clicked anytime he moved, and he was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to do that. As his eyes landed on the mirror again it reminded him that playing pretend wasn't possible for him. He wasn't normal and he couldn't even act like he was. Bucky's missing arm would always be a reminder of what he was.

"Bucky?" Aj knocked on the door. "The food is here? You almost done?"

He cleared his throat before answering, "Yeah. Be right out."

Bucky stretched his shoulder one more time. He wasn't really sure what he hoped he'd get from doing so. Maybe one of these days he'd stretch and the pain would magically be gone. He scoffed under his breath and grabbed the change of clothes he had brought into the bathroom with him. Gray joggers he had stolen off a clothesline and a plain white t-shirt. Bucky's eyes darted to his exposed arm hesitantly. Aj said she wasn't bothered by it, but she hadn't seen the entire thing before.

He couldn't stay in the bathroom forever though.

Bucky stepped out and he couldn't deny the nervous energy that bristled under his skin. However, Aj hadn't even noticed him come out of the bathroom. His eyes widened at the ridiculous amount of food stacked on the dining room table but worry hit him when he saw Aj sitting at the table zoned out. He cleared his throat and her eyes snapped to attention.

"You okay, doll?"

"Yeah, sorry." Aj forced a chuckle. "Just worried about the others. Got stuck in my own head, you know?"

He did know. Bucky was more than aware of where a mind could go if left to it's own accords. He didn't need any more reason to enjoy tonight other than his own selfish desire, but if pretending to be normal would take away Aj's worry he wouldn't hesitate.

"Are you sure you ordered enough food?" Bucky joked.

"Listen, I'm a professional at ordering food for super soldiers, okay?" Aj replied with a smirk. Her eyes left his gaze and traced the metal of his arm. Bucky stiffened despite trying his best not to. Aj's eyes widened and Bucky mentally began to prep an apology and go searching for his henley shirt with the long sleeves. "Oh my God, hang on!"

Aj jumped out of her chair and crossed the room to get to her bookbag. She dug through it for a second before finding what she looked for and then walked over to him. Bucky shot her a curious look, but she just reached forward and grabbed his arm.

"Look." She chirped and he glanced down to see the magnet with Steve's face sitting on his lower bicep. Bucky shook his head as a laugh of relief left him. "Nice, huh?"

Bucky nodded, "Real stylish."

"Now, come on. Let's eat before the food gets cold!"

Aj dragged him to the table and his first normal night in a very long time commenced. Admittedly, he had felt nervous and a bit awkward when they first walked in, but it only took a few more beats before they were talking like they always did. It was easy. Too easy. Talking and laughing with Aj was like breathing. It just felt natural to him.

Every meal she ordered tasted amazing, almost too rich for him, and he was caught off guard with the amount of food she put down. Although now she leaned on her elbow on the table moaning complaints of being too full.

"No one told you eat the rest of the cozonac." Bucky motioned to the plate where the Romanian sweet bread had once been. He laughed when Aj just moaned again and pouted in response. "Don't be a baby."

"Bucky…" Aj whined. "Show me more concern."

"You know what? You're right I'm sorry." Bucky leaned forward to scoop up the Romanian cheese doughnuts, a popular dessert in this area, "I'll eat all the papanasi to protect you."

Aj sat up and shook her head, "Wait, no, no. I want dessert."

"I thought you were dying?"

"I've made a miraculous recovery." She replied. Bucky chuckled and set the plate down between them. Despite all her moaning and groaning before, she dug in eagerly. After taking a few bites of the dessert, she pointed at him with her fork, "So tell me, have you been working out or something? You're…for lack of a better word…" Aj lifted her other hand up and with both she vaguely motioned to him, "…thick."

Bucky smirked and leaned forward, "You checking me out, doll?"

"Yeah, and what if I am?" Aj stuck another bite of food in her mouth then shot him a look of challenge.

He shrugged in response, not letting his amusement slide, "I'd tell you to start using your hands instead of your eyes."

The response was instantaneous. Aj's eyes went wide, her face dusted with a blush that went down to her collarbones, and she sucked in the bite of food that had been in her mouth. As she began to choke, Bucky laughed and pushed a water bottle toward her. Teasing her over the phone was always fun. Teasing her in person was addicting. There was nothing that could be compared to watching the surprise fill her features as her blush took over. Bucky always knew she'd have a cute blush, he just knew it, and seeing it confirmed his theory.

"You're an ass!" Aj said when she finally managed to stop choking. He laughed again and she reached forward to shove him as hard as she could. "See if I ever pay you a compliment again."

Bucky's amusement simmered down to a few last chuckles. He shook his head at her and casually shrugged, "I'm not working out." He probably couldn't. With his arm in the state it was? It was better to save any use of it for emergencies. "But I know what you mean."

"Oh, you know you're thick and handsome?" Aj scoffed.

His smirk returned, "You just added handsome yourself." She mumbled something under her breath, something along the lines of 'smug bastard', and chuckled again before continuing with a shrug, "I think it's because I'm eating more. I was living under the radar with little to no money, and it wasn't much, but I finally had a consistent source of food."

Between the murders and being wiped, Bucky didn't remember a lot of gourmet meals. HYDRA had to have fed him. That was common sense. Still, he didn't actively remember eating. If they had fed him he had a feeling it had been via tubes during the time he was frozen or just little scraps here or there to keep him functioning. Saying it out loud like this, and seeing Aj's smile fall, made him realize this was probably a trauma that needed to be added to his growing list. Bucky hadn't really thought of it before. Compared to some of the other stuff he had on his list, not being fed properly didn't seem like such a big deal.

The way Aj reached forward to set her hand on top of his right one though, the one he had casually set on the table so he could turn his body to entirely face her, made him realize it was a big deal. Bucky quickly shook his head, "It's okay."

"No, it's not." Aj said firmly. She squeezed his hand and Bucky could only focus on how soft and warm her skin felt against his. "Now excuse me, I'm gonna order like 12 more meals for you."

He laughed and when she pulled her hand away to rise from the table, Bucky reached out to catch it and tug her back towards him, "I do not need 12 more meals, crazy. I'm full as is."

"You're just saying that to keep me from ordering more food." She argued.

She was right, but Bucky wasn't going to admit that now. He put on what he hoped was a charming smile and threw in a wink that felt foreign to him. Bucky knew he was a little out of practice and prayed he didn't look like he was seizing or something, "Nah, I'd just rather have you, doll."

Rather than falling apart like he hoped, Aj leaned forward with a sly smirk and half lidded eyes. Her voice was a whisper, "Oh, Bucky, I don't think you could handle me."

Bucky felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widen as he began to sputter out the start of a sentence that never finished. Hearing his name like that in her voice? Having her literally within his reach? It did something dangerous to him. Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest, his breath caught in his throat, and warm desire curled in his abdomen.

"I think that's a point for me?" Aj leaned back triumphantly. "And with that victory, I shall retire to take my shower before you can beat me again."

Fuck, she was good at this.

As she left to shower, Bucky rose from his seat to clean the table some then dropped onto the couch with his bag. Now was as good a time as any to jot down his thoughts from the day. Lord knew he had plenty. The bag Bucky carried had his essentials, but those essentials could be whittled down to a few changes of clothes, a sheathed hunting knife, and his notebooks. There were three notebooks he had been filling for months now. One had memories from his past that he couldn't bear to forget again, one kept track of his present moments he couldn't bear to ever forget, and the third held memories he wished he didn't have. Bucky didn't like keeping track of that last one, but he felt like he had to. It was his hands that committed the crimes, he should be forced to remember it.

By time he finished jotting a couple things down, Aj breezed out of the bathroom freshly washed. She had changed into a baggy, gray t-shirt that had the words 'MIT Alumni' on it and a pair of shorts. At least he assumed there were a pair of shorts on under the long length of the shirt. His eyes traced her legs once before mentally cursing himself and tearing his attention away from her.

"Oh", Aj sat on the couch with him, one cushion away, and dried her dark hair with a towel. Her hair looked nice with it long like this. "Are these your notebooks?"

"Yeah." Bucky cleared his throat. He knew he had mentioned them to her once, but he was surprised she remembered. Aj's eyes darted down to one and then back to him. He could see the question in her eyes, but it also looked like she wasn't going voice. Bucky nodded, "You can look if you want."

Aj shook her head, "No, you don't have to—"

"I don't mind." Bucky grabbed the one with the Winter Soldier memories and shoved it into his bag. A lot of the stuff in the other two notebooks she already knew about anyways. Aj picked up the blue covered notebook and just flipped through a few pages. "That's stuff they made me forget. I'll remember something and write it down so I never forget again. Usually, it's stuff about my mom or Rebecca or… or Steve."

Aj grinned, "There were so many times I wanted to make fun of Steve because of a story you told me, but I had to hold back. My self-control should be rewarded."

Bucky chuckled to himself, but guilt hit him as well. He was reminded that because of him Aj had been forced to lie to the blond. A lie of omission really, but Steve never differentiated the two. A lie was a lie and he had always been a stickler for honesty. Bucky also wondered what exactly was going on between the two. From stories alone, he could tell Steve had an interest in the woman in front of him, but he wondered if Aj felt the same or if Steve had ever made a move of any kind. Could he just ask outright? That would be weird though. Wouldn't it?

During his internal argument, Aj had set down the notebook and he watched her reach for the other. Bucky's left hand shot out to stop her. Aj's eyes widened as he left his metal hand on top of hers. Before she could apologize, he shook his head, "I don't mind if you look I just…I should warn you that…" Bucky could feel warmth flood his face in embarrassment. "—that you're in this one. A lot."

"Me?" Aj asked in surprise. He nodded and moved his hand so she could pick it up. She shot him one last look before starting to flip through it a little.

"It's the day to day stuff." Bucky said and he watched as a small smile flittered across her lips. "Important stuff that I don't ever wanna forget."

One of Bucky's biggest fears was losing pieces of himself again. He was already so shattered and broken, he couldn't afford to lose anything else of himself.

Aj chuckled and held up the notebook to show one thing he had wrote down ages ago, "Really? The fact that I accidentally broke my classmates' arm in the third grade while on the playground then cried for days about it afterwards is an important fact that needs to be remembered?"

Bucky nodded once, "It is to me."

Her amused grin softened a degree and Bucky tried to mentally memorize the look. He wished he had a camera. Something to capture moments like this to put in his notebook. Nights like tonight, he never wanted to forget. He never wanted to forget anything that involved the woman sitting on the couch beside him.

Aj handed him the notebook and Bucky slid both back into his bag before tossing it to the side. She shifted closer, only half a cushion away, and he stretched out his left arm out onto the back of the couch so the weight of it wouldn't pull on his shoulder. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against the back cushion while facing him entirely, "Can I ask you something?" Bucky nodded once. "You can say no if you don't like the question." Aj's eyes darted to his metal arm and for the first time tonight she did more than just acknowledge it. She studied it. "Does it hurt?"

"The arm?" Bucky clarified to buy time. She bobbed her head and he took in a slow breath. "Yeah. It does." A look of sadness flashed in her eyes. Bucky shook his head and lied, "I've gotten used to that though."

Bucky shook his head and changed the conversation topic back to something light. He didn't want to make Aj sad, especially not for him. They only talked for another thirty minutes before Bucky could see her eyes start to grow heavy.

"I think it's time for bed." Bucky said softly.

Aj shook her head and rubbed at her eyes, "I'm not even—" She yawned. "—tired."

Bucky smirked, "Very convincing."

"Shut up." She pouted. "I just… I don't wanna waste any of the time I have with you. This is so much better than a phone call."

He didn't voice the fact that he very much agreed. Bucky watched as she yawned again. He couldn't imagine why anyone would give up sleep or time for him. The selfish part of him wanted her to stay up. The selfish part of him wanted to take every second of seeing those blue eyes that he could, of watching her nose scrunch up when she laughed too hard, of seeing the mischief in every smirk she fired at him. Bucky wished he could pause time right here in this moment. A moment where he didn't have to think about his past or the murky future or of his blood coated sins.

"I like talking to you too." He finally admitted. "You make me feel—" Not like some monster. Not like the devil. Not like an unforgiveable sinner. "—normal."

"Bucky, you're not normal." Aj scoffed and he felt his heart drop. Her heavy eyes fluttered once more time and she gave him a soft, tired smile, "You have the jawline of a Greek god, eyes the color of the sky after a storm, not an ounce of fat on your body—" Bucky barked out a laugh and she paused before continuing, "And, you're a really, really good man."

He shook his head, "Aj—"

"Nuh uh." She interrupted him and closed her eyes while leaning her head on the back cushion of the couch close to his hand. "You're a good man with a good heart. I have spoken."

"I didn't realize you were the authority on that." Bucky joked.

"I am, and I have decided. You are a good man." Aj said, her eyes still closed, and he could tell she was fading fast.

Bucky let his eyes trace her features and he replied quietly, "Talking to you makes me feel like I could be, doll."

"Hmm", Aj hummed, her voice heavy with exhaustion, "Fine. If talking to my dumbass is the only way for you to know that, then I guess we'll have to keep talking to one another for the rest of forever."

A few seconds passed and he watched her officially doze off. Bucky should've gotten her up and to the bed before she passed out, and now he should just move her himself, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to spend one more moment on the couch together. Bucky couldn't lie. Not even to himself. The idea of talking to Aj for the rest of forever sounded like a dream. The kind he'd be okay never waking up from.


[2015-03-10] [09:12:32] [44.425477, 26.076585]

It was the smell of coffee that woke me up. Good coffee too. Had Tony or Clint come down to my apartment or had I fallen asleep in the penthouse? They were the only two in the Tower that made a decent cup of coffee. Natasha didn't drink it often enough to make it, Bruce only drank tea, and Steve couldn't make a good pot of coffee to save his damned life.

I sat up in bed, groggy, and it took me a second to place where I was. Romania. None of the Avengers were here, but…

"Morning, sleepy head."

I blinked once, trying to clear my vision, and spotted Bucky in the kitchen space pouring coffee into a mug. Bucky Barnes. A slow smile spread across my face. He was still here. A part of me thought all of last night had just been a weird dream and the other part thought Bucky would slip away in the middle of the night. I rubbed my face, "I wanted to wake up before you today."

Bucky walked over with the mug and offered it to me, "Well, it's a little after 9 in the morning so you didn't do a very good job at that." He nodded once to the coffee in my hands, "Two sugars, no cream."

"I could get used to my own live in barista." I joked and took a quick sip of my coffee and pulled my legs in so I could sit crossed leg. Bucky sat down where my legs had been. He had already changed from his sleep clothes back into the same outfit I had seen him in yesterday. "Do you not want any?"

Bucky chuckled, "To be honest, I already had two cups. They got the good stuff here."

He had told me ages ago that he had always been a coffee guzzler. It was back when I told him that I only started really drinking coffee when I came to the Tower. There was something about living with Tony and Clint that just turned you into a caffeine fiend if you weren't careful.

"Oh hey, hold this." I handed him my coffee and crawled off the bed to get to my bookbag. Somewhere buried under my change of clothes was his birthday gift. Considering this trip was impromptu I didn't really have an actual gift for him, but the flight had been very, very long. I came back to my seat and took my coffee from him while also handing him a folded-up piece of paper, "Happy Birthday, Bucky."

His eyes widened slightly, "W—What?"

"Happy birthday!" I repeated with a shrug, "Don't tell me you forgot it was your birthday."

"No, I remembered… I just didn't think you would." Bucky mumbled out the last part while staring at the paper in his hands like it was a ticking time bomb. "What is this?"

"Your gift, dummy." I scoffed and lightly kicked my foot against his thigh, "Come on, open it."

Bucky, still keeping his eyes in his lap, unfolded the paper until a blue and white braided piece of string fell out onto his hand. On the plane, I had kept busy by braiding his and my own. It was probably stupid and childish, but I wanted to give him something with meaning. Natasha seemed to really like hers, and she was a deadly assassin so I had to have been onto something there.

"I didn't really have time to get you anything real. I mean, I guess I could've gotten you an airport shot glass, but…" I said and his gaze lifted to meet mine. I couldn't read the look in his eyes and I nervously shifted in place and began to babble, "I made Natasha one for Christmas. Technically, you guys have matching bracelets now because I chose my colors to be white and that light blue." I stuck out my left wrist to show him the two bracelets that now sat above my watch, "The red and black one is Nat's and the navy and light brown one is you. Steve told me your old uniform on the Howling Commandos had been navy and brown…" Bucky still didn't say anything, and I felt my cheeks begin to heat up. This had been stupid. "I know it's dumb and silly, but I just wanted to give you something on your birthday and the magnet was your Christmas gift so I couldn't use that—"

"I love it." Bucky shook his head quickly. He must have noticed my nervous energy, "Doll, I absolutelylove it. I just… I'm shocked to get anything."

Bucky glanced down at it again and the corner of his lips curled into a soft smile. It was my favorite of his. The charming smirk was a good look on him, and was stiff competition in this case, but there was something about that soft smile, that slow curling of his lips, that made me warm inside. He held it out to me, "Can you…?"

I grinned and set my coffee down on beside table and grabbed the bracelet to tie around his right wrist, "I'm glad I made it long so it could fit around your thick ass wrist." Bucky chuckled at my words and I finished tying it. I held out my own wrist. "The reason I made Nat one was because we saw it in this random movie we watched on girls' night. The characters said something about how anytime they saw their wrist they'd think of the other person no matter how far apart they were. I liked the idea of that. Always having someone to think of you."

"I don't need a bracelet to think of you." Bucky replied. "But I love it all the same."

With a smirk, I rolled off the bed again, "Lemme get dressed and then we can go out and celebrate your birthday right."

"Celebrate?" Bucky questioned. He furrowed his eyebrows together, "I don't think that's a good idea, Aj. Not with the people we have after us."

"Oh, come on!" I argued. "Boss is still in California, Coulson would've sent me a text if he wasn't. Ultron isn't after me technically, and if HYDRA did come looking for you they'd be looking in Alexandra or that other place you had been in before you came for me in Bucharest. You said so yourself last night."

Bucky shook his head, "Still…"

"Please?" I pleaded. "We gotta do something for your birthday. We can find a park and just hang out. No crowds, no enclosed spaces, and we'll be careful. Yeah?"

There was a pause where I could see Bucky rolling his options around in his head before he let out a sigh and nodded, "Alright, but if I say we need to leave, we immediately leave. Got it?"

"Yes!" I chirped and grabbed my clothes out of my bag. I glanced around the open room then shook my head, "I'll get ready in the bathroom."

Bucky chuckled and rose from the bed, "For as much money you spent on this room, you'd think there would be more walls."

"It's a style, Buck. It's called studio."

"Call it what you want, you got ripped off."


[2015-03-10] [12:22:13] [44.445559, 26.126784]

Maybe there were stronger men out there who could look Aj in the eyes and tell her no, but Bucky was fully aware that he was not one of them. So, when she asked him to celebrate his birthday out in the city he had no chance. None at all. She had asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday, a day he had no intentions of even acknowledging, and truthfully he would be content with finding a quiet spot in Bucharest and keeping out of sight. However, Bucky knew a spot on the other side of the city that she would love so that's where they were.

It was an outdoor market he had found ages ago during a visit to Bucharest. Stands lined a couple blocks of the city and they sold everything under the sun. Fresh fruit, street foods, knick knacks, jewelry, clothes. It was crowded and loud, two things he usually tried to avoid, but those things didn't bother him much right now. Not when he saw the glowing smile of wonder and excitement on Aj's features as she bounced up and down the streets dragging him along.

"Just two please." Bucky ordered from the man working the tea stand. He glanced over to see Aj admiring oriental rugs hanging up at the stand beside him. She let her hands lightly trace the intricate pattern of the rug in front of her. Aj's dark hair hung loose around her face, tucked behind her ears, and falling to a little below her shoulder blades. It was one of Romania's warmer days in March so she had stuck the bulky green canvas jacket into her book bag and left on a white tank top and thin, blue cardigan. His attention snapped back to the man in front of him when two drinks appeared. Bucky thanked the man, handed him some money, and walked back over to her, "I got the same as you so this better be good, doll."

Aj took the iced drink from him and grinned, "Strawberry green tea is amazing. Especially iced. You should try some of Bruce's teas though. He has like a million different types."

They wandered down the street casually again. Aj stayed close to his side, but he noticed she was making the effort not to reach out and grab him. Bucky never had her pegged as the cuddly kind, but it was little details like that that Bucky was eager to learn.

"You know, I made plans with Steve today." She hummed.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh yeah?"

"He has this tradition." Aj glanced over at him with a small, sad smile. "He spends the day out in Brooklyn on your birthday." Bucky felt his heart clench in his chest. "He did the past two years at least and this year he invited me. He was gonna give me the grand tour of all y'all's old hotspots. The ones still there at least… I hope he's okay."

The last few words were mumbled in a soft whisper that he might not have heard over the noise around them if it wasn't for his super hearing. Bucky hoped the same. Steve mourned on his birthday and that filled Bucky with guilt. It was a reminder that he was hurting one of the only two people that gave a damn about him on this Earth. He was hurting his best friend, his brother, his family, his…well, his everything. There was no part of his early life, the moments he could remember, that didn't involve the blond. Steve was always there, and Bucky couldn't even be there for him now in return.

"You hear from your friends at all today?" Bucky questioned. He had seen her checking her phone every once in a while, and the look she had was usually that of disappointment.

Aj shook her head, "No. I think no news is good news though. At least, I hope it is. There's nothing in the media about them right now. Other than the stuff that's already happened."

"I'm sure they're okay." Bucky tried to reassure her. She looked up at him and he pasted on a tight smile. "I mean, they're the Avengers, right?"

Aj snorted, "Yeah. Earth's Mightiest Dumbasses."

"Speaking of," Bucky cleared his throat, working up to the question he had rolled around in the back of his head since yesterday, "You and Steve." Aj blinked curiously. "You and—and he… uh, are the two of you…?"

For fuck's sake, he used to be good at this. Bucky used to be smooth but stammering out his question right now had him feeling like a 16-year-old Steve Rogers. All Bucky's teasing had come back to bite him in the ass it seemed.

"Oh!" Aj chirped finally understanding what he meant. She shook her head with a chuckle, "We're just friends. Don't you think I would've mentioned it to you if I had suddenly started dating your best friend?"

Bucky chuckled, "Fair point."

She lightly elbowed him in the arm then motioned around them, successfully switching conversation topics, "So, birthday boy, what's on the menu for lunch? You craving anything?"

Bucky listened as she pointed out different options that she spotted around the market. There was a small bubble of relief at hearing that her and Steve were only friends, but it was short lived. He wasn't allowed to have thoughts like that. Bucky was a selfish guy, it was why he was out and about today enjoying her presence, but even he had drawn a line in the sand. Steve was the perfect kind of guy for Aj. He would treat her right. Steve could offer her the damn world and she deserved it. There was a future there for her whereas Bucky was more of a dead end.

He knew Aj was trying to convince him to come back with her. She hadn't outright said it yet, but he wasn't an idiot. The dangerous part of this was he wasn't entirely sure he could tell the woman no on this topic either. What would that look like? He'd get more days like this with her. He'd get to be a part of Steve's life again. Hell, maybe he could even talk the blond into finally making a move. It would suck to watch, and Bucky already felt his chest tighten at the thought, but it was undeniably the better option.

"I can't read Romanian, but it looks like that stand is selling meat on a stick." Aj's voice brought him back. "I have no idea what meat, but that's part of the fun, I think."

Bucky was getting very good at playing pretend and he wondered if the return to reality would actually kill him. He cleared his throat, "That's the beauty of a market. We can grab a little of everything."

They bounced from food stand to food stand for the next half hour. Street food didn't seem to bother Aj at all, but he figured it wouldn't. He had heard about a few of the places in New York that Clint Barton had dragged her to. If she could handle those spots then these were an absolute breeze. Bucky balled up the trash in his hands, taking hers too, and turned to walk the few steps away to throw it all away.

When he turned back around, he lost sight of Aj. Panic welled up in him as his eyes scanned the crowd. Worst case scenarios hit him hard, but when he finally spotted her standing in front of a stand trying to talk to the older woman behind the table, he felt the air leave his lungs in relief. Bucky stormed over with the intent of arguing with her on the importance of not leaving his side right now, but it was lost as soon as he got beside her.

"Bucky! She's trying to tell me something, but I can't understand." Aj said and pulled him closer.

The older, gray haired Romanian woman looked up at him and smiled warmly, "Oh, I see, she is not alone then? You are with her?"

"Yes, ma'am." Bucky replied in Romanian with a nod.

"I was trying to ask if she was by herself. It's not safe to wander alone with no knowledge of the area." The woman finished.

Bucky chuckled and turned to Aj, "She was worried you were out here all alone."

"Aw." Aj cooed. "If only she knew I could destroy any man that tried to walk up and mess with me. How do I say thank you?"

Bucky said the word and Aj repeated a few times before looking to the woman and saying it again. She butchered the word and funnily enough he could hear her southern drawl through the word.

The woman chuckled, "You are so very welcome." Bucky nodded to her and began to pull Aj away, but the woman spoke again. "Wait! Take a look here", she waved to the jewelry that covered her table. Most of it was gold or silver, "My husband and I make it by hand."

"They're beautiful, but we really don't need anything." Bucky replied. Aj's phone rang and she pulled it out to glance at the screen. She pointed to it, he nodded in understanding, and then she stepped a little bit away to talk. Bucky turned back to the woman, "Thank you, but—"

"But nothing! The two of you are such a lovely couple." She cut in and Bucky blushed. Before he could correct her, she kept on, "Buy your lover something as beautiful as she is!"

Aj was nowhere close to being his lover, but he did like the idea of buying her something. She had already gifted him so much already. The funny magnet, the thoughtful bracelet, and the warmth of her presence. Aj deserved everything and more, but maybe he could start with at least this one little thing.

Bucky glanced over the various pieces of jewelry on the table. He had never bought jewelry for a woman before. Bucky had given other gifts, sure, but back then he had always assumed he'd be buying jewelry when he found the woman he'd wanna spend the rest of his life with. One of the few memories he had of his mother was of her showing him the bracelet and necklace set his father had gifted to her. She always said he had given them to her on only their third date, but he claimed it was the moment he knew she'd be his wife one day.

Bucky's life was over. There was no wife in his future, no white picket fence, no anything. His future was as bleak as a black hole on his worst days.

"Anything catch your eye?" The woman urged. Bucky had no idea what Aj liked in jewelry style, but his eyes landed on a charm near the back. He pointed to it, asking to see it, and the woman picked it up to show him the charm clearly. "Fine taste. Sterling silver with 14k filled gold. The sun and the moon."

He nodded to the woman and said he'd take it. The woman chirped in excitement as he pulled out the limited amount of money he had in the first place. Aj had been spending her money most of today. She had given him a handful of cash and refused to budge on it. He couldn't spend her own money on this gift though. It wouldn't be the same.

Bucky wasn't sure if the necklace was the kind that a woman would ever want. It seemed very simple. Silver chain with a charm the size of a nickel that had a crescent moon on one side then the sun on the other. For all he knew, it would be considered gaudy, but he couldn't pass up on that charm.

The sun and the moon.

That's what he felt like around Aj. She was his sun. Meeting her in that bunker had been the first sunrise of what he thought was going to be an eternal darkness. Bucky spent his days lost in the dark, trying to sew together a frayed mind, but when she was around he felt illuminated. Bucky wasn't cured. He wasn't sure he would ever be cured. He wasn't sure if he would ever fully feel like he was in control of his mind ever again. There was a more than good chance that he'd spend the rest of his life trapped in the recesses of his own mind, but… The warmth that radiated off Aj, the light he never seemed to grow tired of basking in, it made him feel like he had a chance. At the end of the day, that's all he really wanted.

Bucky just wanted to believe that maybe he could heal eventually.

The woman handed him the necklace, he thanked her again, and stepped away with the necklace in hand. Aj, who was only a few feet away, stared down at her phone with a distressed look on her face. Worry hit him at the sight, and he crossed the space quicker.

"Hey, everything alright?" He pressed.

Aj shook her head, tapped on the screen a few times, and then flipped the phone around for him. His eyes narrowed at a man dressed in an ostentatious orange suit who was speaking to a few other news anchors at a desk. "—and they seem entirely alright with this—this criminal living in their building and handling what I have to assume are top secret missions. Look at this woman. Look at her!" A picture was brought up of a stone faced Aj. Her eyes were tired, her busted lips drawn in a frown, and bruises sprinkled her features. It was a mugshot. "I wouldn't trust her to make a cup of coffee let alone run and direct the Avengers entire PR department! And she was a personal assistant before that! This is a dangerous precedent to set and if we just let this slide—"

Bucky reached out to lower the screen. He had seen enough. Aj stuffed the phone back into her pocket and crossed her arms unhappily, "The entire world knows about me. About who I really am. A criminal that hit the lottery."

"That isn't true. That isn't who you are." Bucky argued.

"I only got these jobs because Tony is too lazy to hire an actual professional, Buck."

"You got those jobs because they trust you. Because they can see your talent and intelligence." Bucky shook his head. "And from what I've seen and heard, you're damn good at it."

Aj shrugged in response. She twisted her lips after a second, "A part of me hoped nobody would ever find that info on me. I knew it was unrealistic to hope for it, but…"

"I'm sorry." He said softly. He wished he had more to say or offer.

She shot him a small smile then nodded towards him, "What is that?"

Bucky glanced down at his hand to see that she had been nodding toward it. He cleared his throat then held it out to her with a smirk, "Happy Birthday."

Aj rolled her eyes, "You know my birthday is in June, and I know you know this because I saw it written down in your notebook."

"Can't I just buy you something to buy you something?" Bucky replied.

"You didn't have to though, Buck—"

"I know I didn't have to." He said softly. "I wanted to, doll."

Aj's sad smile slowly regained it's warmth as she chuckled. She took the necklace in her hands and gazed down at the charm in awe. Her finger traced the curve of the moon, "It's gorgeous." Aj looked back up at him, "You didn't pay too much did you—"

"Shhh." Bucky interrupted and motioned to her. "Just say, 'thank you, Bucky, you're a total dreamboat'."

Aj laughed and nodded, "Thank you, Bucky. You're a total dreamboat."

"Don't forget it."

She held it up to him, "Here, clasp it for me."

Aj turned and pulled her hair away from her neck and his eyes widened in surprise. After recovering, he stepped toward her and slipped the necklace around her neck. His eyes darted down to her exposed shoulder where an 'x' shaped scar sat. Bucky quickly clasped the golden necklace and stepped back.

She spun back around and lifted the charm to glance down at it again, "The sun and the moon. Why'd you pick that?"

"Just seemed fitting." Bucky replied, his eyes glancing down at the charm sitting on her skin. Bucky held out his right hand to her, the one where the blue and white bracelet was tied around his wrist, "Come on."

Aj beamed at him happily and took his hand without hesitation. Bucky always felt cold, and the warmth of her skin as her fingers tangled with his was an intoxicating relief.


[2015-03-10] [17:01:57] [44.433785, 26.143704]

I think the only reason I didn't lose my mind today was because of Bucky. He was a very, very good distraction from the fact that I hadn't heard from anyone other than Beth all day today and the last time she had contacted me was about my criminal debut in the media. Though, like I told Bucky earlier, no news was probably good news. Even more good news, I think I had a real chance of convincing Bucky to come home with me.

As we sat at a small metal table in a large park plaza I felt hopeful. Today had been the perfect kind of day and he had to see how much it helped him. Living alone and on the run wasn't going to help him heal. It was a lesson I learned the hard way myself, but if I could spare Bucky any of the pain I went through then it would have been worth it. I never really started to heal until I let him and the Avengers in. Bucky had to do the same or he'd be stuck in stagnant water.

Now I just had to figure out how to bring the topic up. The trash of our dinner was pushed aside on the table and my hand rested right by his. The back of mine touching his own. All around us you could hear the sounds of Romanian life. People walked the park paths, there was a few children screaming happily as they played on a jungle gym not far from here, and there was music playing from somewhere just faint enough for me to hear.

"Thank you." Bucky said suddenly.

I blinked and tried to backpedal to see if I had missed something, "Huh?"

"Thank you." He repeated with a soft smile. "Today was… It was a really good birthday thanks to you."

"You deserve that kind of birthday." I replied. He looked like he wanted to argue, and I figured this was as good of a segue as I was going to get. "You deserve so much more than you think, Buck." I had so many things I wanted to say, so many things planned out, but it was like they were all gone from my head. I scrambled for words, "I know you feel like you don't because of…of what happened, but—"

"Shh." Bucky snapped.

"Bucky—"

"Aj." Bucky grabbed my hand tightly and it was only then that I noticed something was wrong. His shoulders were tense as his eyes darted around us. I tried to spot what he was seeing, but nothing set off any alarms in my head. "We gotta go."

He pulled me up out of my seat and began to drag me away from the table. We got a few feet away when my eyes finally did spot something. A familiar face was sitting on a park bench not even thirty yards away. Vincent was leaning back, his arms outstretched on the back of the bench, and his legs crossed. He had traded the leather jacket get up for a black blazer, white button up, and slacks, and there was some bulky metal brace around his arm under the sleeve, but it was him.

"Oh my God." I breathed. I dug my heels into the ground and Bucky nearly pulled my arm out of the socket.

"Aj." Bucky said firmly and the look on his face told me he was contemplating just picking me up and carrying me if I didn't start moving now.

Vincent gave me a smug smirk, lifted a hand in the shape of a finger gun to point at us, then bent his thumb forward with a wink.

That's when the gunfire started.


[2015-03-10] [17:02:48] [44.433785, 26.143704]

They had followed Vincent and his crew across Europe wondering the entire time why he would be heading to Romania and what he wanted in Bucharest specifically. Daisy's confusion only grew when they closed in on him at a park. There were too many civilians here for them to try and take in Vincent or the six henchmen he was running with. The plan had been to keep following him until they reached an area less populated or if they were forced to engage. Still, none of them could figure out why Vincent was out here. That is, they couldn't figure it out until they spotted Aj Bradshaw in their line of vision.

Oh, Clint was going to be pissed. Clint was going to kill them and then kill Aj.

"Move in now!" Mac barked over the comm line. "Fitzsimmons get the quinjet here now for pickup. I want evac the moment we're clear!"

"Copy!" Simmons chirped.

Daisy ran out of her hidden spot and threw her hand out at a gunman who turned to fire on her. Civilians were trying to clear the area, running wildly about, and Aj was pinned inside a concrete snack stand that was now taking fire. Another gunmen faced her and she threw her hand out again. Across from her she watched as Mac took out two men himself with gun in hand. Did Mac want to use his special shotgun, the one with an axe welded to the end, probably yes, but since they needed these men alive to question both of them were stuck with the stun guns Fitzsimmons had designed ages ago.

Daisy pulled out her own Icer and took aim around the area. She fired on one gunmen and kept looking for Vincent who had somehow disappeared in the chaos. Daisy hurried forward, dodging a couple of people, "Get out of here!" She didn't know if the people around her understood her, but the tone should have given it away. "Run!"

"I got eyes on Vincent and an unknown!" Mac called out over the line. Daisy made the decision to get to the snack stand. If Mac had Vincent that meant she was on Aj duty. "Might be an inhuman?"

"Vincent?" Daisy cried.

"No, the unknown."

"What makes you say that?" Daisy questioned and ducked behind a fallen table before rising and firing two stun rounds from the Icer.

Mac replied quickly, "Well I just watched the unknown punch our guy, and Vincent flew back about a dozen feet. That was my first clue."

"I'm almost at Aj." Daisy yelled back. "Don't approach the potential inhuman without me!"

"Wasn't planning on it, Tremors!"

Daisy fired a few more rounds into the space ahead of her as cover fire as she sprinted for the snack stand. She slid in and Aj spun with a hand raised and ready to fire an Iron Man styled repulsor right into her face.

Aj's eyes widened and her hand dropped, "Daisy? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I think I should be asking you the same!" She snapped and Aj at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Are you okay? Are you injured?"

Aj shook her head, "No, I'm fine. Daisy you gotta get out of here. Vincent—"

"We're here for Vincent." She replied. "Mac, Fitzsimmons, and I. Coulson is following Strucker and youshould be at the Compound!"

"Can we lecture later?" Aj pleaded and peeked around the corner of the concrete building. Daisy yanked her back as a spray of bullets hit the space around them putting dust into the air.

Daisy nodded, "I have hands on Aj. Fitzsimmons, swing in for pick up."

"No, I can't leave!" Aj argued.

"This is not something we are arguing about, Aj!"

"I lost sight of the potential inhuman, but I'm closing in on Vincent." Mac kept her up to speed.

This mission had too many variables. She grabbed Aj's upper arm tightly and planned to run out to where she knew Fitzsimmons would be parked when a large man entered their space. Daisy threw her arm out on instinct and blasted the man right in the chest. With an audible 'oof', she watched the guy fly back and land amidst the mess of overturned tables and chairs.

"No!" Aj yelled and tries to run out after the guy. "That was—he's a friend!"

Oops. Daisy shook her head, "I'll get you to the jet then I'll come back for him, okay?"

"Fuck." Mac called out. "There are more. There's more than six. Fuck, Daisy fall back. Watch out for crossfire, the Romanian police have arrived. Fitzsimmons, we need you now!"

The air was filled with more gunfire and Daisy steeled herself to make a run for it with Aj. Any plan she had went to shit when she looked at the woman in her grip though. The blue eyes had regret in them, "I'm sosorry. Please don't tell the Avengers I'm here, okay?"

"Wha—" She didn't get the word out before Aj slammed her elbow into Daisy's nose. Her grip loosened enough for Aj to slip away from her. Daisy barked out a curse and rose to chase after, but ricocheting bullets forced her back. It didn't just force her back either. It forced her to stand behind the safety of the concrete and helplessly watch as Aj got hit. It was too fast. She didn't see where, but she heard the woman cry out, saw the spray of red, and watched as she hit the ground beside the man she had ran out to.

Daisy raised her Icer to enter the fray, her nose aching and blood dripping down her face, but a screaming Romanian officer cut her off with a gun raised to her chest. Fuck. Daisy set her own weapon down and raised her hands signaling surrender. The man holstered his own weapon and brought Daisy face down on the ground to handcuff her. When she looked ahead, both Aj and the mystery man were gone.

"I'm getting arrested." Daisy barked into the comm as the man read her rights in Romanian. "Anyone have eyes on Aj or Vincent?"

"Negative." Mac replied.

"Good news", Fitz called out, "It looks like we have—seven, eight, nine—nine of the ten gunmen accounted for and Romanian police are arresting them as well. Bad news, I don't see Vincent or Aj among the crowd."

Daisy groaned and set her forehead against the cool ground.

This was not good.


[2015-03-10] [17:24:10] [44.399193, 26.06489]

There was something to be said about the fact that the guy running the front desk of this shitty hostel didn't even blink an eye at the fact that a large, sweaty Bucky carried me in bleeding. He just threw us a key and kept flipping through whatever magazine he was looking at. The hostel was the same one Bucky tried to get us to stay in earlier and I was proud to say that I had been right in my initial assessment. This place was most definitely the kind of place people came to get murdered.

"Shit." I hissed as Bucky set me down on the old mattress pushed against a corner of the tiny, filthy room. He replied back a rush of apologies before throwing our bags down beside me and hurrying to the bathroom tucked in the corner. My eyes darted around the room skeptically. The walls had peeling wallpaper, the floor was gray carpets that I prayed started as gray and not white, and the only pieces of furniture was the mattress I sat on, a love seat couch in the middle of the room, and a broken dresser. In the opposite corner of me was supposed to be a kitchen I think. There was a microwave there at least. The room had a glass door that led outside to a balcony though so there was that.

Bucky rushed back out to me with a bowl of water. He dropped it by my feet, water sloshing free, and his eyes met me. For the first time since we raced away from the shoot out on his bike we stopped. Bucky's eyes looked wild and panicked. He had thrown his hat aside already, his hair a mess, and he also ripped his one left-handed glove off.

"I'm okay." I tried to reassure him. I gave him a grin that I hoped didn't look overly pathetic, "It's just a scratch!"

His eyes hardened and he grabbed the wet rag to press against my shoulder. I hissed in pain and he spoke, "No, it's not. It's a damn bullet hole."

In my attempt to get to him, I had gotten hit in the shoulder. Of all the places to get shot in that area, I was thankful it was my left shoulder and not like my head or something. Still, it was bleeding profusely and hurt like a motherfucker.

Bucky peeled my blue cardigan off me and set it aside. It was stained with blood just like the white tank top I wore. Bucky cleaned the blood from my shoulder again then pressed the rag hard against it. I sucked in a sharp breath, he mumbled an apology, then he leaned forward to peek over my shoulder.

"Thank God." Bucky mumbled

"What?"

"It didn't go through. Bullet is still in there."

My eyes widened, "That's a 'Thank God' moment? Isn't that bad? I've seen the movies!"

Bucky shook his head, "Exit wounds are worse than entry wounds. Less chance of infection with only one wound too. My only worry is the location of the bullet."

I blinked and sucked in a breath trying to focus. With clenched teeth, I tried to move my shoulder. Bucky grabbed my arm and I shook my head, "No, I can do this part. I can figure this part out. Just wait. I gotta—" I tried to take another calming breath. There was too much adrenaline and pain bouncing inside my brain. "Okay."

I glanced down at my left hand and flexed my hand a few times. I bent my arm at the elbow a few times as well. Then I took my right hand and traced my fingers over the skin covering the front and back of my hand then up my arm.

"I think I'm okay." I breathed. "If the bullet had severed that bundle of nerves in my shoulder then I either wouldn't be able to move something or feel anything. Or both." I glanced back to his eyes to see relief there. I gave him a small smile, "Plus, I haven't passed out or died of blood loss yet, so I think that means I didn't hit an artery either."

Bucky groaned and muttered something in Russian. He ripped open his bag and pulled out a bunch of first aid materials. "I have some too."

Bucky reached over to where he had dropped my bag when we came in and pulled out my first aid kit. There wasn't much, but it'd be fine. He suddenly stopped and shook his head, "There's a shower in the bathroom. How about you clean up some before I wrap up the wound? It needs to stay covered until you see a doctor."

"Yeah, okay." I said and Bucky helped me up to my feet. I paused by my bag to grab clothes to put on and soap I had stolen from the nice hotel we left. My eyes spotted my dark screened phone. In an attempt to keep Daisy from tracking me, I had turned the phone off and popped out the sim card for good measure.

It only took me a couple minutes to shower. In fact, it took more time trying to take my clothes off with one moving arm than the actual shower. I didn't take my time with it though. I just cleaned the grime off my body. Afterwards I changed into clean clothes, but the tricky part was going to be the upper half. I was planning on putting the bloody tank top back on so Bucky would have access to the wound but getting my bra on was damn near impossible. I couldn't just leave it off either because the tank top was loose enough to show everything.

So, now I had a choice.

Show Bucky my back or just risk flashing him.

It was sad that I actually had to take a moment to make this decision.

With a grunt of pain, I pressed the front of my bra against my chest with my arms through the straps. The only person who had seen them were Clint, and mentally I was handling the scars much, much better, but… The thought of revealing that part of myself, to actually be seen, was daunting.

"Bucky." I called out softly through the closed door.

He was there in an instant, "Aj? You alright?"

"Yeah, I just. I need your help getting dressed." I replied with an embarrassed sigh. There was a pause that I tried to fill. "If it makes you uncomfortable I can—"

"Open up, doll." Bucky said.

I tightly pressed my hand to the front of my bra to make sure it wouldn't flop loose then opened the door. Bucky, ever the gentleman, didn't let his eyes leave my own. It was almost funny the amount of concentration I could see in his features. I chuckled, "I'm gonna turn around for you to clasp the bra, but… you should know that…" Bucky's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I sighed, "Just don't get angry, okay?"

He looked like he was going to question my request, but I just spun around. It was answer enough. Bucky didn't make a sound. He didn't even suck in a breath like Clint had when I showed him. It was painfully quiet, and I wanted to step to the side just so I could look into the mirror and see his face over my shoulder.

Finally, I felt a soft finger trace against my skin.

"It was Boss." I said. "I told Clint and them so now it isn't so bad talking about it. Kind of. Long story short, he'd carve a line into me when he was upset at me breaking some unwritten rule of his."

Bucky's hand pressed against my back and I finally heard him let out a slow exhale. His metal hand joined, the cold of it making me jump, and I felt him grab the sides of my bra to clasp. After though, he left hand one hand over the lines.

I let my right hand drop from my front since it wasn't holding anything up anymore. Bucky still hadn't said anything, and I felt awkward about just standing here in my bra and shorts. Usually showing skin never really bothered me. It was just something I had gotten used to over the years, but right now it felt weird to me.

"They're pretty ugly, huh?" I chuckled.

Bucky's hand left my skin like he had touched something hot. He took my right elbow in his hand and turned me around. His face looked blank. I couldn't read the look in his eyes again, and I wanted nothing more than to see into his head. Bucky, his eyes never leaving mine, reached back with his right hand to grab the back collar of his shirt and my eyes widened when he pulled it over his head.

Unlike gentleman Bucky Barnes who did not ogle at me, my eyes immediately shot to the defined, muscular lines of his abdomen and chest. Heat flooded me, but it drifted away when my eyes landed on where his metal arm entered his skin. A small gasp left my lips. The metal really was his entire arm. The flesh began above the end of his collarbone, where it should meet his shoulder, and all of it was red and angry. Linear scars marked the front around the rim of the joint. Lines that suspiciously looked like nail marks. Like the kind of marks someone would get from clawing at their arm.

My right hand raised to touch him, but I hesitated. My eyes darted back to his and he just nodded once. I let my fingers brush against the red, inflamed skin and he hissed. Slowly, I let my fingers trace over his collarbone where I could feel more metal sitting right beneath his skin. I followed the edge of this piece of metal and the size of it startled me. The metal implant was also most of his collarbone and it circled the outside of his pec muscle and down his side a bit. I stepped closer to him, nearly against him, and let my hand trace around his side and up his back still following the implant. It was his entire shoulder blade and I could feel something rough under his skin lead all the way to his spin and neck.

"I…" I shook my head, "I had no idea that you…"

"That the arm was so invasive?" Bucky chuckled humorlessly. He nodded, "When I lost my arm, I kind of lost all the workings that go with it. My shoulder was… Anyways, this was what they had to do to make me functional. To have the strength it does they had to bind it securely. To get innervation they had to connect it to my actual nerves."

"Bucky…" I breathed.

"Are mine ugly?" Bucky whispered.

I let my hand flatten against his back, eyes narrowing, "God, no."

"Then neither are yours." Bucky replied firmly.

We stood there for a minute just staring at one another. That was the case wasn't it? Our scars weren't ugly. What they did to us was.

Bucky nodded once, "You're bleeding onto your bra."

The words snapped me out of my daze, and I took a quick step away from him. I glanced down at my left shoulder to see it was indeed dribbling blood still and the blood was dripping down to the edge of my bra. He chuckled and led me out of the bathroom while putting his shirt back on. I watched his face twist in pain when he used his left arm. It was bad. It was really bad, but Tony could fix it. I knew he could. He'd probably need outside help, but we'd get Bucky out of pain.

Bucky motioned for me to sit back on the mattress as he grabbed my first aid kit to pop it open. Some of my blood had already stained the damn thing and honestly there were worse stains on it.

"This reminds me of how we first met." I said with a smirk. "Just, you know, a little less Russian."

Bucky scoffed with a grin, "Really?"

"All I gotta do is get septic and it'll be déjà vu."

"You're killing me, doll." Bucky chuckled and ripped open a few alcohol swabs to clean the skin around the wound. My nose scrunched every time he got close to the torn flesh and he mumbled more apologies under his breath. "Here, lie down."

Bucky set a hand on my back and laid me down. I didn't understand why I needed to lie down for him to wrap up my wound. Wouldn't it be easier if I was sitting up so he could—

Rubbing alcohol was poured straight onto the wound and I let out both a startled yelp and cry of pain. Bucky held down my other shoulder, more apologies from his lips, and I grit my teeth then shook my head. I let out a chuckle, "You handsome bastard."

"Sorry, doll." Bucky smirked and helped me sit up. "Thought it'd be better if I caught you by surprise."

"Mmm, it hurt about the same I think." I replied.

Bucky went to work on wrapping up my wound and I quietly watched him as he worked. His face was still blank, but there was a small wrinkle between his eyebrows as he focused. When he got nearly done, I spoke up, "You know, I'm okay, right?" Bucky's eyes darted to meet mine before cutting back to his working hands. "Forreal, Bucky. I'm okay, and today was my fault—" He scoffed, and I forced his hands away so he had to look at me. "It was. I was the one who pushed us to go out, I'm the one Vincent was coming after!"

"Aj—"

"Seriously, and to be honest." I chuckled. "My brain only had room for Ultron, HYDRA, and Boss. Until he started shooting at us, I kind of forgot Vincent existed."

Bucky shook his head at me, "I can't even take you to the emergency room because of who I am."

"I hardly need an emergency room." I scoffed. "This is perfectly manageable here."

"That isn't the point, Aj!" Bucky suddenly rose. He took in aggravated breath and turned his back to me while running his right hand through his hair in frustration. I pushed myself up off the mattress with a muted grunt and stepped toward him. I heard him mumble under his breath, "Steve could take you to the hospital."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Bucky."

He turned to look at me and the weight of his gaze nearly made me crumple like a stack of cards. I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and took another step toward him, "I don't regret anything about today."

Bucky groaned, "Can you please just use a little common sense? You have to have at least a shred of it." I opened my mouth to argue, though I didn't have much of a case to plead on the topic, but he continued. "Can't you see that being around me is only going to bring you pain? Either directly or indirectly?"

"What does that even mean?" I pressed. "Bucky—"

"Stay right here." Bucky said firmly. His eyes didn't waver from mine, "Do not leave this room. I'm going to make sure no one followed us here and grab some food. I'm serious, Aj."

I nodded, "Okay, I won't leave."

Bucky held my gaze for a second longer before leaving the room with a nod of his own. With a sigh, I dropped back down onto the mattress and flinched when my shoulder jostled around. This was going to get annoying fast.

I shifted back so I could lean against the wall. My mind drifted to thoughts of the others. Were they doing okay? More than anything I wished we could all be back in the Tower for family dinner or game night. Something normal. Something non-life threatening. More than anything I also wish Steve were here. He'd know what to say to Bucky. He'd know what to say to me. Steve would have answers to this whereas all I had was a bullet hole in my shoulder.


[2015-03-11] [00:24:56] [44.399193, 26.06489]

Crying blue eyes.

Bleeding red blood.

The smell of gunfire.

The sound of screaming.

"Ready to comply."

"Finish it, Soldat."

He woke up in a cold sweat. He didn't know this room. He didn't know. He didn't know. His eyes darted around quickly. Locked door. No weapons. Bloody mattress. A woman. His mission? Eyes focused on the face sleeping on the couch beside him. No. No. Not a mission. Fuck. It was Aj. It was Aj. He was Bucky. She was Aj.

Bucky shoved himself up from the couch with a sharp breath and buried his hands in his hair. Oh God. The nightmare had been his worst fear instead of a memory and somehow, tonight, that was worse. Bucky hadn't woken up entirely himself and he was so close—too close to Aj. He turned on his heel and hurried over to the glass door. It took him a second to force himself to open it rather than just crash through it.

The cool, night air helped.

Bucky took in a few deep, long breaths.

His name was James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. His sister's name was Rebecca. His best friend's name was Steve Rogers. He was in Bucharest. Aj was here. Aj was here with him.

Bucky leaned his arms against the balcony railing and folded his body in so he could rest his head on his forearms. As if seeing Aj get shot hadn't been enough to convince him to stay away from her that dream sure as hell was. He hadn't even meant to fall asleep. Aj picked the couch over the wet and bloody mattress. Bucky was going to stay on guard, just in case, but hours after she had passed out he took a break and just sat beside her. He didn't remember dozing off.

He remembered the nightmare though.

Bucky felt his chest tighten as he lost his breath. It was happening. He was falling apart. He was caving in on himself. This was why he stayed away. This was why he ran. What if this nightmare had been one of the ones that woke him up violently? What if he had lashed out and attacked? Bucky was a monster. Bucky was a monster cursed to wander this Earth and relive his sins, and he had accepted that fact. He'd force himself through every terrible memory because he deserved it.

The thought of hurting Aj made him ill. The thought of him putting his hands on her or Steve? The thought of his arm, the weapon of mass destruction welded to his fucking skin, touching Steve or Aj with intent to harm? He couldn't survive that. He wouldn't survive that. Bucky would throw himself into the depths of the ocean and live at the bottom of the sea if it meant no harm would befall either of them.

"Bucky?"

He felt his entire body stiffen at the soft voice behind him. Bucky clenched his jaw and pressed his forehead to his arms harder. He wished he could disappear. He wished the darkness of the night would just bury him alive so she wouldn't see him.

A hand pressed to his back lightly and a ragged gasp left him.

"Look at me."

He shook his head.

"Please?"

The gentle hand shifted to his arm and began to lightly pull. Bucky followed the tug and turned to face her. Aj looked tired. From where he stood the moonlight over his shoulder illuminated her features and it seemed fitting.

"Bad dream?" Aj asked softly.

Bucky shook his head, his voice sounded like gravel, "No. A reminder. A reminder of what I am." Aj's frown deepened, but her hands lifted to his face. Her hands cupped either side and the softness of her hands, the gentle way she moved her thumb against his skin, was staggering. It felt like a physical blow. Bucky took in another shaky breath, "Go back inside. It's safer inside for you."

"Not without you." Aj replied. He shook his head again, tried to pull away, but her grip tightened. "Listen to me. Listen to me, James Buchanan Barnes." He stilled and she loosened her grip again. Aj shook her head at him, "You are not what HYDRA made you do."

It felt like someone took out his knees. Bucky's hands griped the side of her arms desperately as his head drifted forward. Aj shifted her hands to the back of his neck and brought his head down on her good shoulder. Bucky closed his eyes and just focused on the caress of her thumbs on his neck.

"You are not what HYDRA made you do. You are a good man." Aj whispered again.

God, he wanted to believe it. More than anything. Bucky had never been more desperate for something in his entire life. Aj mumbled something else, pulling his head off her shoulder, and then began to lead him back inside. He kept his hands on her, afraid that if he let go she'd disappear.

Aj sat down back in her spot on the couch and brought him down beside her. Bucky was caught off guard when she pulled him down so his head rested in her lap. She leaned back in her seat and let her fingers rake through his hair. The feeling made his body melt into the couch.

A moment passed and he could hear her humming something under her breath. Bucky blinked up at her lazily, "You gonna sing me a lullaby, doll?"

"Maybe." She chuckled. "You got a request?"

"Dealer's choice." He whispered back.

Aj softly sang a song he didn't recognize, but the tune was hypnotizing. That might've just been her though. After a minute, Bucky spoke but he chose to speak in Romanian, "You're beautiful. Inside and out. It's no wonder I can't help but fall for you." He let his lips twitch up in a small smile, "I wish I could've met you before they broke me."

"That's Romanian, right?" Aj glanced down at him. "I like the way you sound when you speak it. What did you say?"

Bucky reached up with his right hand to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. He brought his hand back down on his abdomen and spoke in English, "You don't have to stay, you know? You can leave me. You should leave me."

He wanted Aj to leave him. Bucky wanted her to make that decision to protect herself. He wasn't sure he'd ever be strong enough to quit her, but if she asked him to stay away he could do it. He could do it for her.

"I love the sound of your voice so much, but I swear to God, Buck, if you don't shut up and go to sleep I'm gonna elbow you right in the face."

Bucky chuckled in response and she went back to mumbling the song. As time passed he could feel her fingers begin to slow. He watched as her eyes fluttered close and her head dipped. Bucky lifted his hand again to push her head against the couch so her neck wouldn't be sore in the morning light.

His eyes traced her features, wishing that he could live in this one moment, but it shattered when his eyes landed on the necklace she wore around her neck. Dried blood stuck to the gold of the sun and it seemed like as much of a sign that the heavens would give him. Bucky's selfish desire to hold her close, to keep her in his life, was going to get her hurt. He was going to be her downfall. He left his head in her lap and didn't untangle her fingers from his hair as he closed his eyes.

Tonight, he'd be selfish for one last time.

Tomorrow, Bucky would let go.