Okay, so a few years ago I started a Joker/Harley kid series….and lost all interest. This is the re-write of that series, with better writing, storyline and characterisation. :)
Please read and review :)
…
"WHERE IS SHE!" screamed the Joker, throwing knife after knife at his cowering henchmen. "WHERE ARE THEY?!"
"W-we're getting them Boss!" stammered one of the men, "They'll be here soon I promise!"
The final knife was thrown into the ground as the Joker stormed over to his 'throne', "Tell me when they arrive…" he ordered, "…and if there is even one bruise on her not put there by me, then there'll be hell to pay!"
"Y-Yes boss!"
As the door slammed shut behind them, Joker removed one of guns from his side table and opened fired at the door….where a picture of Batman was hung up.
"Bad Batsy…"he muttered angrily, "…bad, bad Batsy!"
When he ran out of bullets, he simply chose to scowl at the door, waiting semi-patiently until his Harley and heir were returned to him.
Several hours later, the henchman re-entered the room, gently pushing Harley into the room. "Puddin'!" sobbed the young lady, rushing to her lover…however, before she could leap onto his lap, he back-handed her across the face, sending her to the ground.
"WHERE IS HE?!" He screamed, grabbing her by one of her ponytails and pulling her up'
"I-I'm sorry Mista J…but the Bats got him. They wouldn't let me keep Jesse with us!"
"You dumb bitch! What were you thinking, taking Jester with you on a shopping spree?!"
Harley whimpered when faced with Joker's anger, "I-I thought it would be fun!"
"What about now?!" The Joker back-handed her again, "Is it fun now?!"
Harley did nothing but whimper, flinching when a glob of spit landed on her.
"Get up…." Snarled Joker, "…We're getting him back. TINY! FETCH MY COAT!"
….
Liam, a young Irish immigrant orphan, scowled as the cries from the baby next door increased in volume. "Ain't that bloody thing gonna shut up?!" he snarled angrily to the room of teens and young adults.
"Liam…" chuckled James, who was a few weeks away from his eighteenth birthday and therefore leaving this place, "…it hasn't shut up to sleep or feed, I think we can safely assume by this point that it isn't gonna be quiet anytime soon."
The screaming continued well into the night…..
…..
The quivering women sobbed as the Joker leaned over her, "P-please! I don't know!"
"You don't know?" hissed the criminal, "Your pitiful little organisation received a baby, my son, and you don't know where he was sent to?!"
"P-p-please! We p-place lots of infants in orphanages or in care every day! I-I can't remember specific ones!"
She let out a little scream of fear as the Joker pulled out a switchblade and held it to her throat. "Let's see if I can't jog that memory hmmmm?" he whispered, his permanent grin widening as the smell of piss punctured the air, "This little baby would have been brought in by a certain flying rodent! The Batman!"
The woman continued to sob, however, she began to nod. "Y-yes! Y-yes I remember! I swear!"
"And?"
"S-social services g-gave him to the l-local orphanage! The P-p-Pinkey orphanage!"
The Joker beamed at her, moving the switchblade to her cheek and patted it with the flat side of the blade. "That's all I wanted…" he crooned, "…now, smile for me darling!"
From outside of the room, all that could be heard was the screams and begging of the woman…and the cackling of the madman inside.
…..
Liam desperately tried to cover his ears with his pillow as the screaming continued. "I swear, if he doesn't shut up soon, I'm gonna-"
He quickly cut himself when the door to his room creaked open, signalling that the landlady was checking to make sure that everyone was asleep. Feigning sleep, Liam remained still and silent until the door closed and the light from the hallway disappeared.
And yet the screaming continued.
Liam couldn't take it anymore. He rolled out of bed and crept to the door, peeking down the corridor both ways, before tiptoeing towards the toddler ward. Toddlers and babies were always snatched up very quickly, so the room was almost always empty…but now, there was one cot in the room.
He strode over, fist clenched in preparation to explode at the child….but when he looked at the toddler, he realised that he looked familiar. The child had his eyes squeezed shut as he screamed and screamed, but the dirty blonde hair and its style was familiar.
Vaguely, Liam remembered spending a drunken night in a local club…the Joker's club, a couple of weeks ago. Thankfully, most clubs in Gotham had the 'If you can pay, you can drink' policy. However, this toddler had been just wandering all over the club and dimly, Liam could remember the Joker's threats.
'If anyone steps on my kid, they can kiss those little piggies goodbye!'
"Shit…" whispered Liam, reaching into the cot and pulling the toddler out, "…hey…James?"
The kid continued to scream.
"John?"
No response.
Liam squeezed his eyes in a desperate attempt to remember the kid's name….the name that the hot blonde had called him. However, he had been very drunk that night….it definitely began with J though.
"…Jeremy? Jimmy? Jesse?"
At the last name, the kid quietened down and stared at the older teen. Liam grinned in relief, "Thank god…" Then he winced, "Shit….we've got Joker's kid."
…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE GOT TRANSFERRED?!" screamed the Joker, pinning the receptionist's hand to the desk with a knife.
The lady screamed, taking deep gasping breaths.
"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!"
"W-we didn't have enough room here…" she sobbed, "….s-so we had to send him somewhere else!"
Frustrated at the lack of answer from the young lady, the Joker wrenched the knife out of her hand and slammed it into her shoulder. "WHERE IS MY SON?!"
"G-Gotham City Orphanage! Please! STOP!"
Twisting the knife around, Joker eventually removed it from the woman's shoulder…before slicing her throat.
"This is turning into a wild goose chase!" he growled, spinning around to face Harley and a couple of other minions, "Come on! Before Bats starts sniffing around!"
"P-puddin' I-i-"
"SHUT UP!"
…..
"This is such a bad idea…" whispered James, as he and Liam crept down a nearby alleyway, "…what if the Joker just decides to kill you after he gets his son? How do you even know this is the Joker's kid?!"
Liam, who was giving the toddler a piggyback ride, shrugged. "Haven't really thought it that much to be honest…but do you really want to be in the same building when the Joker comes looking for his kid."
"…Good point."
The pair walked on for another few minutes, heading in the direction of the club. Suddenly, there was the sound of yelling and begging from an alleyway nearby.
"STUPID WHORE!"
There was the sound of a slap and a woman crying out, "P-puddin' please!"
Before Liam and James could investigate, Jesse slapped Liam on the side of the face. "Go! Go! Mummy! Daddy!"
James winced, "Isn't it a bit worrying that he recognises his parents from the Jokers abuse?"
"Are you going to volunteer to give Joker a lecture on domestic abuse and all its evils?"
"Not a chance in hell."
Warily, the pair crept to the end of the alley and peeked around the corner, both wincing when they saw the Joker grab Harley by a coloured pig-tail and pull her to her feet.
"We have been to every corner of this fucking city!" yelled the Joker, "And still we don't have my heir! And it's all your fucking fault!"
"I-I know Mister J, I-I'm sorry!"
"Sorry isn't bringing my son back!"
As the Joker raised his hand to hit Harley again, James and Liam couldn't take it anymore. "Wait, wait!" cried out Liam, darting out from his hiding place and waving his hand to try and stop the man….however, he was met with several guns pointed straight at him.
James, who was straight behind him, then spoke up frantically. "No wait! We have your son!" he cried out, lifting Jesse off of Liam's back and holding him in the air, "He was in our orphanage, so we're bringing him back to you!"
Almost immediately, Joker gestured for his men to stand down, ignoring Harley as he knelt to the ground and held out his arms. "Come on Jester…" he giggled, "…come to Daddy!"
James quickly placed the toddler on the ground, and watched as Jesse practically ran towards his Dad, stumbling a couple of times before falling into Joker's chest. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
"Well done kiddo!" The Joker then turned his attention back to the two young adults, and narrowed his eyes, "You two can leave now."
James quickly turned away, not wanting to remain there any longer, but Liam didn't move an inch. Instead he chose to straighten up and looked the maniac straight in the eye. "I-I want to talk to you."
"Liam what are you doing?!" hissed James, but Liam just pushed his hand away and stepped forwards.
"I-I need a job…" stuttered the teen, "…I'm not wasting my life in that orphanage when I could be doing something else."
The Joker rose an eyebrow, "You don't wanna wait around for the perfect little family, with the white picket fence and yappy dog?"
"I have…anger issues. Nobody's gonna want me, so I'm gonna help myself!"
There was silence as Joker handed his son over to one of his minions (ignoring Harley entirely) and strode over to the teen. "Anger issues…." He hummed in curiosity, "….ever killed anyone?"
Liam flinched at this and avoided looking the Joker in the eyes. "I-I…almost." He stuttered, "There was a kid in one of my first foster homes who really pissed me off….he was in a coma for three weeks after I was done with him."
This caused the Joker to burst out in hysterical laughter, "Three weeks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kid, you have potential!"
"S-so, you'll give me a job?"
Flinging his arm around Liam's shoulder, Joker pulled him close and practically marched him over to the rest of the criminal group, "Yeah kid…I gotta job for you. Tiny! Reckon you can get him beefed up a little."
A large man, dressed in a smart but simple suit, sunglasses covering his eyes, stared at Liam for a while. Eventually, he nodded. "Yeah boss, I reckon I can get him in shape."
"Excellent…" the Joker pushed Liam forwards, "….congratulations kid. You've just been hired as my son's official bodyguard!"
"P-pardon?!"
The Joker shrugged his shoulders, "After recent events, I've realised that my son needs protection…." The maniac glared at Harley, "….which means you'll be with my son twenty four-seven when he goes out and in the club. Agreed?"
Liam didn't even hesitate when he agreed, straightening up when the Joker clapped his on the shoulder.
"Good choice!" The Joker then turned to glare at Harley, "Hear that Harls? Now there won't be any more of these….incidents. You're lucky this nice young gentleman found Jesse and brought him back huh?"
Harley, who was still cowering on the ground, nodded silently. As Liam went over to the other bodyguards/thugs, James stepped forwards. "Liam…" he begged, "…don't do this!"
Not even turning to look at his 'friend', Liam sighed. "I'm not like you James….I've not got a future outside of being adopted! I've not got the grades, or the college scholarship. This may be my only chance to having a life of my own!"
James was silent for a few seconds before nodding. "Okay…" he whispered, "…okay Liam." He turned to walk away, before glancing back. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
"…Yes. I'm sure."
Though he clearly wasn't pleased with this, James nodded in acceptance and turned away, striding into the distance. Liam watched as the older teen disappeared around the corner, before turning to the Joker (who seemed to find it all quite funny).
"So…" began Liam, wanting to break the awkward silence, "…what would you like me to do?"
Joker grabbed his son and thrusted him towards the teen, "Congratulations….he needs changing HAHAHAHAHA!"
Liam watched as Joker dragged Harley to her feet and strode in the direction of his club, closely followed by his bodyguards. One sniff told Liam all he needed to know….Wearily, he followed the group, trying not to breathe in too deeply.
O what a glamourous life.
