Okay, so a few years ago I started a Joker/Harley kid series….and lost all interest. This is the re-write of that series, with better writing, storyline and characterisation. J
Please read and review J
…
"Does your Dad know you're here?"
Jesse glanced up at Penguin, a cheeky beam on his face as the older man rolled his eyes and allowed him inside.
"Jesse… does the Joker know you're here?"
"Nope!" Jesse span around in circles, his arms out wide, "He was too busy thinking of ways to kill Batsy, and wasn't playing! So, I came here… is Jerry home?"
Oswald sighed, "It's really not a good time Jesse… I'll ask Gabe to drive you home."
Before the large bodyguard could grab the over-excited five-year-old, Jesse practically danced away, laughing as he raced upstairs.
Ignoring Oswald's frantic cries for him to stop, Jesse ran towards Jerry's room on the upper levels. Whilst he couldn't read the name on the door, he knew exactly which one it was…. The one covered in chess pieces stickers, scrabble letters and a large Rubik's cube poster.
"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jer-"
The door flew open and Jesse was dragged inside, giggling as he went. "Hiya Jerry, what's- "
"SHHHH!"
Jerry's face was pale as she dragged Jesse further into the room, "What are you doing?" the other boy asked, "You shouldn't be here!"
Jesse frowned, "Why?"
There was a loud crash from the bathroom, causing Jerry to flinch, jumping up into the air. "It's just not a good time!"
Before Jesse could ask any further questions, the door slammed open again and a taller, curly-haired teen raced in, closely followed by Victor Zsasz. The older teen grabbed a small notebook that was hanging around his neck, scribbling on it for a couple of seconds, before showing the picture to Jerry and Jesse.
It was a rough scribble of someone who looked like Ed. The figure was clearly angry, with smoke coming out of his head and his fingers like claws.
"I know Martin…" Jerry whispered, "… that's why I'm not leaving this room."
Jesse glanced between the pair, a question on his lips, which Jerry noticed.
"Sorry Jesse, this is my brother Martin… he can't speak, so you just have to look at the pictures if you can't understand sign language."
"I know one sign!"
Jerry raised an eyebrow, only to gasp when Jesse clenched his fist and stuck his middle finger up. "You can't do that!"
"Try and stop me!"
Before Jerry could even try to stop him, there was a bellow from just down the corridor.
"OSWALD!"
Everyone, with the exception of Victor, flinched, with the two five-year-olds racing towards the door to try and see what was happening. The opened the door just a crack to see Oswald limping past the room, heading towards the large ornate bathroom.
"Come on!" Jesse hissed in curious glee, grabbing Jerry's hand and pulling him out of the room, "I wanna see what's going on!"
"Jesse, no!"
Jesse didn't listen. He crept along the corridor, almost acting like a cartoon character as he went. When he reached the bathroom, he hid behind a plant pot and listened to what was happening.
"Don't' think I don't know what's going on!" he heard Edward growl, "Don't think I don't know about you and Victor!"
"We're not together anymore Edward!" Oswald replied, "You know this! We used to be, and now we're not! We raised Jeremiah together for a couple of years, and then you decided to swan off and leave!"
"And you killed the woman I loved!"
Oswald stormed out of the bathroom, closely followed by Edward. "You didn't love her!" Oswald sighed angrily, "You only thought you did! You left us behind because you wanted the perfect life with your Miss Kringle double!"
Edward snarled in pure anger, grabbing Oswald by the throat and pinning the shorter man against the wall, "Take. That. Back!"
"Never!"
"Take. That. BACK!"
He slammed Oswald's head against the wall a little harder, prompting the younger man to grunt in pain. At that tiny grunt, Jerry's bedroom door slammed open and Victor strode into the corridor, two pistols aimed at Edward's head.
"Time for you to leave I think…" the hit-man smiled menacingly at Edward, although his tone was polite, "… bye bye Eddy!"
"You can't make me leave my own house!"
"Actually…" Oswald used the bird head on his cane to hook Edward's arm and wrench it away from his neck, "… I own this entire club. Every single brick, whereas you own nothing! Now get out!"
Edward rubbed at his, now sore, arm. "Fine… you'll be begging me back soon enough."
Without even looking at Jerry, Edward stormed away, sneering as Victor kept his guns on him. After the front door slammed shut behind him, a tense silence filled the air… until Jesse started making cuckoo noises.
"Wow…" he muttered, "… and I thought my Dad was crazy!"
Oswald groaned under his breath, pushing himself away from the wall and rubbing his throat. "Jesse…" he croaked, "… time for you to go home."
"But- "
"- Now!"
Jesse scowled at him, before rolling his eyes and storming off.
"Stupid penguins…" he muttered under his breath as he left the club, sticking his special sign language up at the cameras above the door, "… stupid, stupid, stupid."
…..
"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Joker scowled, lounging in his chair and throwing daggers at a picture of Batman, "Liam's been looking for you."
The five-year-old scowled, "Weren't you?"
"Couldn't care less… I thought you getting hit by a car would teach you a valuable lesson."
Jesse paused, before shrugging and clambering onto his Dad's lap (ignoring how the older man complained), "I've news about Eddy…" the kid sing-songed, smirking when his Dad perked up, "… did you know he and Oswald aren't together anymore?"
Joker raised his hand in dismissal, "Everyone knows that, it's not a secret."
"Did you know that creepy Victor guy and Oswald were sleeping together?"
Now this caught Joker's interest, "Penguin and the Hitman…" he started to cackle maniacally, "… oh that is just perfect! I bet Eddy is fuming!"
"He attacked Oswald today… pinned him against a wall like you do to Mummy!"
"Really fuming then… what did Baldy do?"
"Aimed a gun at Edward's head and pretty much told him to fuck off!"
Joker whooped in glee again, "I love it! The perfect wedge between Ozzy and Eddy… all it'll take is one little push and we'll have a war on our hands! I love it!"
He lifted his son up, so he could look the child in the eyes, "And you're going to be my little spy, understood?"
"Yes Daddy."
"That's my boy!"
