I do not own Young Justice or any of the characters.
Aftermath
A week. It had been a week since the training exercise fiasco. Batman hadn't made them return to the Batcave since, and the liveliness that had once filled the Cave and made it feel like a home was gone. Everyone was still shaken by the exercise, and hardly spoke. Cassius, Cassandra, and Rose were all the most competently functioning members of the Team, but only because their training as Shadows allowed them the chance to learn how to handle stress and trauma a little better. Cassius still sparred with Cassandra and Rose, and they both still sparred with each other, and he still continued both of their lessons, but even among the three of them, things were strained. And Cassius's memories weren't helping. They hadn't all returned, but a large amount had. Enough for him to know that Robin was right, and to know that he missed his family horribly. Enough to feel guilty for just throwing his sister into the ocean instead of burying her.
And then, there was Black Canary. She'd been assigned to give them counseling, or maybe she volunteered, and was, at best, struggling to help them. Cassius wasn't planning tell her, or any of the other Leaguers, that he remembered who he was, and had asked the others to also keep quiet about it, including Manhunter, who had agreed when he'd made the argument that he couldn't deal with that on top of everything else. He hadn't told anyone who didn't know.
"How are you feeling?" Black Canary asked as Cassius sat down in the chair across from her for his turn for a counseling session.
"Like shit," Cassius said. "But I suppose that's to be expected."
"You're much more...grounded than the others about what happened," Canary said. "The others I've talked to have hall tried to deflect it, or pretend they weren't hurting."
"Running from pain doesn't make it go away," Cassius said. "Charging headlong into it also isn't always good. You have to know when to let it in and when not to. Something I learned being beaten to the brink of death by the Shadows." He sighed heavily. "What happened sucked. The down side of letting yourself care about people, is that you also get hurt when you lose them. These are the first friend's I've had since I lost my memory, so...yeah, I'm in pain because I thought I lost them."
"Some more than others," Canary said.
Cassius grimaced. "Yeah. I suppose that's fair. Yes, I...lost my composure when Cassandra died, then when Rose died I lost whatever was left. They...They were the first bright spots in my life after I lost my memories, so...somewhere along the way, they became the most important things in my life. Keeping them safe means everything to me, so...I didn't know how to handle it when I lost them. I still don't."
"Do you view them as your children?" Canary asked.
Cassius frowned. "No. Not my children. Not siblings either. It's...complicated. It's not romantic, if that's what you're trying to get at. Shazam tried to pull that one a couple days ago. It's not like that. It's just..."
"Complicated," Canary finished.
"Very," he smiled tiredly. "You have...no idea."
"What do you mean?" Canary asked.
He hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily. "How much of the exercise could you all see?"
"Well, it was through Manhunter's telepathy, so we only know what he told us," Canary said. "We know about you and Wally's extreme reactions to specific team members' deaths, we know who died and in which order. And we know that there are parts he promised not to tell us because it wasn't his place to."
Cassius nodded. "I...remembered who I was before. Before Void. I don't remember everything, but I remember enough."
"And who is that?" Canary asked.
Cassius shook his head. "I'm sorry. I just...I'm not ready to share."
"Are you not proud?" Canary asked. "I thought you said you were a hero before."
"Oh, no, I was definitely considered a hero," Cassius said. "That hasn't changed."
"You were considered a hero?" Canary caught. "Not you were a hero?"
Cassius frowned, memories drifting through his head. "Have you ever done something you're not particularly proud of, but because of it, you were praised?"
Canary nodded. "Yes, I have."
Cassius nodded. "I was considered a hero. It sure as hell never felt like it."
"How are you handling remembering?" Canary asked. "Do you feel any different?"
Cassius snorted humorlessly. "Right now, I don't even know who to feel differently as."
Canary nodded and Cassius sighed heavily, resting his head in his hands for a moment.
"Can we call it here?" Cassius asked.
"Sure," Canary nodded. "If you want to talk again, or need to, I'll be here."
Cassius nodded and thanked her, then left the room, heading out to the beach, letting Manhunter know where he was going on the way. Once he was there, he sat in the sand, staring out to sea for a moment with his knees raised and his arms looped around the tops of them. Then, he shifted so he could press his forehead into his arms and began to cry silently, his two lives warring in his head as they fought to determine who he should be. And all the while, the memories of those he loved dying-his sister being shot in the head in front of him, suffocating his own wife and children, watching Cassandra and Rose be disintegrated-all of it pushed its way to the forefront of his memory, playing over and over again, his heart being crushed more and more with each repeated death.
Cassius stared out at the mirror, his former appearance staring back at him. Then, he shifted to his newer one. Then back. And again. And again. This went on for nearly thirty minutes before he finally settled somewhere in between. Tan skin, hazel eyes, and dirty blonde hair halfway between his old golden blonde and his new brown. He stared at his new appearance in silence for a long while before sighing, resting his head against the mirror, closing his eyes.
"Why couldn't you just stay gone?" Cassius sighed. "I was happy without you."
Someone knocked on the door and Cassius took a deep breath before turning and opening it, Robin's eyes widening slightly before he cleared his throat.
"Are you coming to training?" Robin asked. "We...uh...We're all worried about you. You've been shut in your room for the last couple weeks."
"I don't...I don't know," Cassius said.
"Well, I think you should," Robin said. "Cassandra and Rose are worried sick. They're both convinced they did something wrong."
He turned, walking away, and Cassius sighed, resting his face in his hands for a moment before leaning against the once-again-closed door.
"And here I was thinking I could handle stress and trauma well," Cassius muttered. "Okay. Two weeks is enough. Time to get over yourself Cassius. Your girls are worried."
He reached for the switch to open the door only to stop, frowning at himself. After a moment, he shook his head, opening the door and walking out of the room. He walked to the briefing room, where Robin was sparring with Kaldur. As he arrived, he looked around, only seeing Rose and Cassandra watching.
"Where's everyone else?" Cassius asked.
"Megan and Connor went grocery shopping," Robin said, he and Kaldur making no move to stop sparring. "Wally, Artemis, and Zatanna went to help."
Cassius nodded and walked over to kneel down in front of Rose and Cassandra. "Hey girls. I'm sorry for worrying you."
"Sorry," Cassandra said.
Cassius shook his head, smiling and taking one of each of their hands. "You two didn't do anything wrong. I just needed time to work through my memories from my old life. I'm sorry for pushing you two away and worrying you. Can you forgive me?"
Cassandra nodded, smiling, and Rose did the same, both of their eyes watering.
"We forgive you," Rose said.
Cassius smiled and nodded tugging their hands. Both stepped forward to give him a hug, and just as he moved to wrap his arms around them, there was a blinding light and they were gone.
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