She was in a dark room, a strange room - one that was only slightly less rundown than the shit hole she was renting in Soho. Normally, waking up in a strange place with no memory of the night before would cause her no mind but her surroundings was the last thing on her mind. All she could think about was the pounding in her head, reminiscent of a freight train crashing repeatedly into the front of her skull. Breathing was pain and the only noise in the room was the excruciating stretching of every muscle and tendon in her body. What was the time? Time for her next hit that was for sure.

Her hair was wet and from the smell it wasn't from a shower. The shower. That was where her stash was back at the flat, inside the mirror cupboard, next to her toothbrush. She moved her head to the side, looking for a door. The movement was enough to make her heave and before she knew it she threw herself over the side of the bed, nearly hurtling onto the floor with bile pouring from her throat. She was coughing uncontrollably, dangling from the bed, so out of it that she didn't realise she had been magically bound to the bed post by her wrist.

She felt everything, every beat of her heart was a hand crushing her windpipe and she felt as though she were drowning under the sweat drenching her skin. She was floating through darkness until she wasn't. Suddenly sat up right in bed she was, shrouded by light and air so fresh it was pure euphoria sliding into her lungs.

"Vally, you're awake!", a voice called to her from her left. She turned sharply, not a hint of a headache as she did so. A little boy sat at her bedside, no more than 11. She knew this boy. He was peaky, a light scar slightly marring his jaw but with childlike excitement in the green eyes that stared back at her. "I'm going to Hogwarts tomorrow! Won't you miss me?".

Valerie looked at the Hogwarts robes gracing his weedy frame, so looking forward to the day that awaited him that he was already in his uniform. "Hogwarts?", she asked uncertainly, her usual raspiness gone. It had been years since she had graduated.

"I got my letter, don't you remember Vally? Don't worry, you'll be there too soon!", the boy jumped up and down in his seat before placing a reassuring hand on her arm.

"Remus?", she asked him. The lovely face of her cousin turned up in a smile and he nodded his head enthusiastically. The innocent joy of the child so contagious Valerie felt herself relaxing. Yes, she would be going to Hogwarts soon, to be with Remy and her friends. Soon she would be old enough, her mother had said so.

"Aunty Agatha said you've been ill", the young boy continued to smile at her, "But you'll be better soon. It will get better soon, you'll see". Such cryptic words weren't befitting of a child so young, but at the sound of her mother's name she couldn't help but feel reassured. Her mother. She hadn't seen her for years, no she had seen her yesterday when she had brought her medicine. She'd be back later. Valerie looked around the was her room. The green walls and flowery bedspread so familiar yet so far out of reach, the muggle ballerina posters and pictures of kittens reminiscent of a childhood that she was living yet was worlds behind her. This innocence comforted her just as it simultaneously made her skin crawl.

That wasn't supposed to be there. That dark forest at the bottom of her bed, with the man standing at the front, looking at her with icy blue eyes. It cut her room in two, the shadowy dark oozing into her childhood like tar, destroying her lampshades and wallpaper as it went. She felt fear, so much fear.

"Remy, who is that?", she pointed towards the silent man but her cousin didn't turn, his smile never dropping. He sat on her bedspread, gripping her hand, "When you feel better, don't let him take us. When you are better". Valerie could only stare back and forth between her cousin and the man at the end of her bed, grinning at her with sharpened teeth. She tried to speak but before she had uttered the words, Remus began to shake in her arms, three bloody slashes cutting across his face before he opened his mouth in a silent scream. His young body tore and morphed before her eyes, a snarling werewolf in his place.

Valerie clamped her eyes shut. She had seen this before. She wished to be away, to not hear the howling, that soul-destroying howling. It broke her heart.

"Open your eyes, Valerie.", a woman's voice this time. "You don't have to hide anymore".

She opened her eyes, one brown, one green and looked at the young woman with long red hair, that was holding out her hand. They were standing in a hallway, lanterns lit on either side and clear the night sky visible from the window in front of them. They were in Hogwarts, she was sure. When she looked down, it was confirmed; there were her Gryffindor robes.

"You need a better nights sleep and at least 3 pumpkin pasties I think", the redhead laughed at her as Valerie took her outstretched hand. It pulled her up into standing position. It was Lily.

"Where is Harry?", she asked confused, Lily looked the same as when Valerie had last seen her, before that night, but her husband and young baby were nowhere in sight.

"They'll be along now", she replied, a motherly smile sat on her smooth face, not a one in sight. Not a hint of worry of what was to come. As if on cue, James Potter approached from down the hall, a wriggling, chubby baby clasped in his arms. The dark haired beauty called out for his mother and instantly Lily's arms were opened wide, the baby nestled in her chest.

Valerie couldn't contain herself. She sank back to her knees, knowing what would come next and her sadness streamed out of her uncontrollably, "I tried". She weeped loudly.

Lily and James merely shook their heads and offered sympathetic smiles. They began to walk away from her, back down the hall, "Some things can not be changed".

Valerie closed her eyes for the next part. She didn't need to watch to know who waited for the loving family at the end of the hall and their screams were enough to remind her of the events of so long ago. Her whole body ached again, her breaths coming in ragged gasps and every cell in her body screaming out for another hit. Another dose of sweet oblivion. Faces of the dead flashed behind her eyes, every person that the war had taken yelled at her with such ferocity it sent her reeling. Back floating down into the darkness where she felt so beyond help.

/|||\\\\\

"Where is she?" Sirius asked, slumped into an armchair facing the fire, trying not to be irritated about being in a house that he hated and in the company of some he despised even more.

"Upstairs, drying out. Your mother's room actually", his cousin, Tonks, replied, her amusement at the last part clear in her tone. Sirius himself couldn't suppress his smirk. Oh how she would of loved that. Take that mummy dearest. Her boudoir being used as a personal rehab for a recovering addict. And a half-blood to boot.

"How long?", another voice shot from the side of the room. Mad-Eye. He leant on his staff in the darkest corner, his magical eye scouring the room as its counterpart was fixed firmly on Dumbledore, who sat in the other armchair adjacent to Sirius, puffing on his pipe.

"The calming draught should keep her sedated until this evening, but then she will need more treatment, perhaps months of rehabilitation", was the snivelling reply that came from Snape, hovering at the door. He was aware of how unwelcome he was.

"I thought you were a potion master, Snivelly. If we knew you'd take your jolly good time doing your job, we would of asked someone else", Sirius retorted, his back turned to his nemesis.

"I do not need to remind you that I am neither a healer or a miracle worker. I can attend to her physical ailments, see her through the worst of her withdrawal but I can not treat the wounds within", Snape folded his arms, the distaste he felt for the ex-convict clear in his voice.

"Yes, the mind is a magic all of its own. You should know better than anyone, Sirius, that it is not something that can be fixed in a day or two", Dumbledore weighed in thoughtfully.

"Those muggle potions are tricky things, I've never seen destruction like it", Tonks replied sadly, ignoring the disagreeing scoff that came from Mad-Eye's corner of the room. Nothing could change her mind - the pitiful thing laying upstairs that was all that was left of her friend had secured this.

"One does the unimaginable to escape their pain and Valerie has suffered more than most. The lengths at which she has gone to hide from hers is not for the faint hearted", Dumbledore paused to take another puff of his pipe.

"You called us us what you intend to do with the girl.", demanded Mad-Eye, paranoid at how long he had remained in one place.

"Her Seer abilities were vital in our last success against the Dark Lord, I have no doubt they will be equally beneficial this time. Regrettably, however, we have lost the element of surprise as Voldemort is very much aware of her power", the old headmaster replied calmly.

"Your little rat friend saw to that", Snape sneered at Black, "Also, there is no telling how much damage the girl has inflicted upon herself in her efforts to suppress her abilities. There is a slight chance that she will not be able to regain them at all".

"At the very least, we will have kept her safe from harm if that is the case. Even when broken, Voldemort would not allow such a weapon to exist. Only time will tell", was Dumbledore's concluding statement. With all matters of business neatly finished and tied up in a bow, the group departed, leaving Sirius alone in the sitting room.

He bristled with anger, the hatred he felt towards the man that had betrayed his friends mixed with the sadness he felt for the woman upstairs that had been suffering all her life, who had not regained proper consciousness in 3 days. Not only had Peter been responsible for the murder of his best mate and his wife but now he wanted to add a third to his list. He should have splattered him all over London like they said he did. He had been the passive audience to Valerie's screams since she had got here. He had given up a room in his house willingly to the Order when they had said a member needed his help but never did he imagine that it would be Valerie Lupin. Truthfully, Sirius thought she had vanished during the First Wizarding War and obviously being in Azkaban, nothing was said to make him think otherwise. He wasn't even aware of her status of a Seer and the role she played as one of Dumbledore's secret weapons until he had been filled in yesterday. He hadn't had the chance to see her but he was told she was a sorry sight, nothing like the girl running about Hogwarts or the young woman that would accompany her cousin to their gatherings. It was all especially hard on Remus. He had wanted to be there when she woke up and he hadn't left her side since.