A/N: Thank you to everyone who are continuously following this story! Whether you're active in reviewing or a silent reader, please know that I appreciate the effort (and patience!) you're exerting in reading this work.
Anyway, I had fun reading all your comments on the previous chapter. As requested, here's some jelly Shelly! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
CHAPTER SIX: THE BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
URGENT HIRING: BOYFRIEND
Qualifications:
- Must have a Ph.D. In any field of the academe
- Eloquent and has great social skills
- Has adequate knowledge about dancing
- Willing to go on family reunions
- Can play any musical instrument
If you think you are qualified, please drop your resume at Room 202 of the Biology Department. Accepted applicants will undergo further evaluation through a series of interviews and compatibility tests.
For other concerns and inquiries, contact Amy Farrah Fowler via email: affowler .
Sheldon looked intensely at the flyer before him, still shocked by what he just read. He was certain that the Amy he knows would never post something as scandalous as this in a public area. However, if it was really Amy's doing, there must've been a reason behind it. Without another thought, he grabbed the flyer on the wall and marched his way towards the biology department.
The moment he reached her door, he did his signature three knock ritual. Upon hearing the familiar knock, Amy opened the door, expecting to see her friend.
"Hello, Sheldon. What brings you here?" Amy asked as she swung the door open. She opened her palms and urged him to come inside her laboratory.
Amy walked towards her working table where a freshly dissected brain is currently sitting. She put on a pair of latex gloves then grabbed her scalpel. "Would you mind if I continued working while you talk? I really need to finish dissecting this one right now."
"It's fine." Sheldon replied while he situated himself on the chair beside Amy's working table. "I'm sorry for the sudden intrusion. I just went here to clarify something."
"What is it?"
Sheldon quickly searched the flyer he placed on his pocket earlier. He spread the paper open, presenting its content to Amy.
"You've seen that, huh." Amy chuckled as she gazed upon the flyer.
"Mind explaining why you posted such a scandalous poster in a public area, little lady?" Sheldon pried with a hint of disappointment clearly visible in his tone.
Amy sighed out of defeat. Sheldon did not care about other people's personal affairs and yet, she knows that he had been keeping a close eye on her for the past few days. Due to his persistence, Amy knew that Sheldon would know what she was up to eventually. Even though they've built a friendly relationship with each other, Amy was aware that their friendship is only on an intellectual level. Sheldon would never listen to her personal dilemmas unless it's about work so she had to resolve things by herself.
"I think I have mentioned before that dating is my annual obligation to my mother. Two weeks ago, my mother messaged me, saying that she had already arranged a blind date for me this year. The past dates I had with the people my mom recommended didn't work well so this year, I challenged her to a wager." Amy looked at Sheldon, who was listening to her attentively. "I said that if I'll be able to send proof that I've dated someone before the day of my supposed date, she'll call off the agreement she had with the guy I was ought to date."
"But the flyer says that you're looking for a boyfriend, not a date. Why is that?"
Amy glared at the man beside her, uncertain of how to explain relationships to an emotionless person like Sheldon.
"Look, Sheldon, I've devoted the last 33 years of my life to the advancement of science. While everyone I know is already getting married and having kids, I was in the laboratory, trying to unravel the mysteries that this world has to offer. Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I just want to experience new things that even science can't offer me."
A wrinkle formed on Sheldon's forehead upon hearing her words. "But Amy, how can science be boring? Science is the center of everything, it explains the reason why everything exists and—"
"I'm talking about love, Sheldon." Amy let out a small smile. "I know this is a lot to take in but believe me, I know what I'm doing. And besides, the flyer helped me get in contact with some promising boyfriend candidates." she winked as she opened her drawer and revealed a small pile of papers.
"My 'flyer experiment' had proven itself to be a massive success. For the last four days, I have received 16 resumes from various people around the university. I was planning to keep the flyer on the announcement board for a week, but I was afraid that the HR might notice it if I placed it there for that long." Amy took the flyer from Sheldon, causing a surprised gasp from him. "Thankfully, you got rid of the evidence for me."
Sheldon reached for the pile of paper that Amy showed him to know the people who applied to be Amy's potential boyfriend. Amy was a noted scientist in her field, so it wasn't a surprise to Sheldon that a lot of people wants to take their shot with her. As he continues skimming through the papers, a familiar name caught his attention.
"Barry Kripke." he whispered with contempt, but Amy was able to hear him.
"Oh, you know him? He seemed nice when he personally handed me his resume. Don't tell anyone, but he was one of the few guys who passed my initial assessment."
Sheldon suddenly felt his blood boil. He could not believe that out of all the applicants, Amy is considering Barry Kripke, his mortal enemy, as a potential boyfriend.
"He's nowhere near nice, Amy! He's my research partner and believe me, he's not as good as you think." Sheldon exclaimed.
"Let me see it for myself, then. If I were to assess everyone based on their resumes alone, he'd be the best candidate."
"Have you been listening to everything I just said?" Sheldon angrily pulled Kripke's paper from the pile. "You have to dismiss his application."
Amy put down her scalpel and tried to get Kripke's resume from Sheldon. "My personal deadline for resumes is this afternoon. Unless someone better than him comes along, you have no choice but to accept the fact that I am considering Barry Kripke as a potential boyfriend."
Despite the adequate amount of oxygen in Amy's laboratory, Sheldon still felt like he was suffocating. He knew that he needed to get out of there before a panic attack befalls him.
"You know what, date whoever you want. I don't care." Sheldon gave Kripke's resume to Amy and walked away as if nothing happened.
Sheldon went back to his office, surprised to see that his mortal enemy was back.
"Hey, Cwooper! Didya get my mwessage?" he asked as he momentarily stopped writing equations on the whiteboard.
"Yes. Did you have lunch already?"
"Uh, nope."
"Good, grab some food first before we commence our work. It's not appropriate to work with an empty stomach, am I right?"
Kripke looked confused, but he eventually decided that Sheldon did have a good point. "Vewy well, I'll see you in thwirty minutes."
After successfully shoving Kripke out of his office, he praised himself for exhibiting a huge amount of self-control around Kripke after the situation in Amy's laboratory. He could have punched Kripke in the face upon laying his eyes on him, but he didn't. Unfortunately, despite of his façade earlier, he was nowhere near calm. He still had a job to accomplish, that is to make sure that Amy doesn't end up with his mortal enemy.
With a plan mapped in his mind, Sheldon turned on his laptop.
Sheldon stared at the blank document for a moment, dubious of what to do next.
Amy is my friend. I'm doing this to save her from future pain.
After making up his mind, he started filling the blank document.
Sheldon Lee Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D.
Theoretical Physicist
Caltech Institute of Technology
Pasadena, California, USA
Twenty-five minutes was all it took Sheldon to finish a 10-paged resume. Amy never mentioned what time her deadline was so he just simply assumed that she'd accept resumes before her shift was over. He hastily printed his resume, afraid to let Kripke see what he had been working on for the past twenty-five minutes. After printing his resume, he went to Amy's laboratory immediately. Once he was sure that no one was looking, he dropped the printed resume on her mailbox and ran as quickly as he could.
Sheldon had expected Kripke to come back from lunch break, that is why it shocked him to see that his office was still empty. Since Kripke wasn't there, he continued his work gleefully.
A few minutes after, a knock resonated within his office. "Ugh, what is it, Kripke?" he asked, irritated.
"It's Leonard." Sheldon stopped writing upon and turned to the bespectacled physicist after hearing his name. "Something happened in the cafeteria, I thought you'd want to witness it for yourself."
Sheldon let out a groan. "What could be more important than exploring string theory?"
"Just trust me."
Sheldon sighed and crossed his arms. "This better be good, Leonard. Or else, you'd be violating section 8, article 3 of the Roommate Agreement which states that we are not allowed to interrupt each other during work hours."
Leonard rolled his eyes as they continued walking towards the cafeteria. Sheldon immediately noticed a lot of people clumped around the door so they had to go through a lot of people before they were able to enter.
"What are you talking about? She's mine, dumbass!" a tall and tan-skinned man shouted as he swung his fists into the air. Sheldon wasn't able to see his face due to his constant movements but given his voice and physique, it was probably Raj.
"She's not yours!" Kripke exclaimed, trying to dodge Raj's fists.
"Hey, don't forget I'm also here!" another voice said, coming from a man with a beard. After looking closely, Sheldon recognized him as Bert from the geology department.
Much to everyone's amusement, they continued brawling like 10-year old kids. Punches were being thrown one after another, causing the crowd to scream in delight. Sheldon looked at Leonard who was currently taking a video of everything that is happening.
"I can already think of an appropriate title for this video. 'Hopeless men with Ph.D. desperately fight for a woman's affection'" Leonard giggled.
Just when Sheldon thought that their fight would never end, a woman in a black dress approached the three men.
"Dr. Koothrappali, Dr. Kripke, and Dr. Kibbler." she uttered, causing the three men to stop fighting. "Come to my office, NOW."
A thick air suddenly filled the entire cafeteria. When the woman started walking away, they decided to follow her.
"That's what you get for bending the university rules." Sheldon proclaimed.
"Says the guy who had been summoned by the HR department three times in a row for removing the suggestion boxes that President Siebert had placed around the university." Leonard said as he tugged Sheldon's shirt, signaling that it's time for them to get back to work.
"I did that so that President Siebert wouldn't have to receive bad reviews from other people."
"Yeah, right." Leonard rolled his eyes once again.
"On the bright side, Kripke is out and I can now resume my work in peace. I do hope he'll be suspended for a few months so that I wouldn't have to endure his annoying presence in my office." Sheldon said as he grasped the doorknob of his office.
Leonard wanted to say more but decided that it was better to keep his mouth shut. Sheldon wasted no time when he got back to his office. He grabbed the marker sitting on his desk commenced his date with the most interesting person in the world, Mother Science.
Sheldon was clearly in the 'zone' that day. Thanks to Kripke's absence, he was able to accomplish a lot of things. He told Leonard that he wanted to go home earlier than usual today so they can stop by Stuart's coming book store to check for new releases. He was already packing his things when a knock disturbed him. He didn't answer the knock, hoping that Kripke would get the idea that he had already gone home. However, he heard the door creaking slowly as if someone was entering his office.
"Go away, Kripke!" he shouted. When he didn't hear a response, stopped fixing his bag to see who the intruder was. Much to his surprise, the intruder wasn't Kripke. It was Amy.
"O-Oh, forgive me. I didn't know it was you." Sheldon apologized.
"Sheldon." Amy stared at him intensely, making his skin crawl. "I have read your resume."
Sheldon suddenly felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He knew that she'd eventually ask about the resume, but he didn't expect the confrontation to be this soon. He still wasn't prepared to explain to her the reason for his actions.
"I was called by the HR department while I was skimming your resume. I didn't know why they asked me to come there at first, but after hearing what happened today, I think it is safe to assume that my experiment had its own weaknesses." she explained without a hint of emotion visible in her face. "15-year old Amy would've been happy to know that men are fighting over her affection. But 33-year old Amy? She'd be furious. Really, really furious."
Amy crossed his arms before she continued. "After seeing how they acted without thinking today, I can no longer push through with the experiment. However, since you decided to turn up your resume earlier, an idea struck my mind."
Sheldon gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"Those three were the ones I was considering as a potential boyfriend. Now that they're on each other's throats because of me, I could not choose between them. Given that the deadline of my mother is rapidly approaching, I have a proposal to offer you. You can act as my fake boyfriend for the meantime to halt my supposed date."
"And how is this supposed to benefit me?"
Amy grinned mischievously. "You won't unless you want our social group to know that you sent me a resume for my boyfriend application experiment?" Amy winked, evidently blackmailing Sheldon.
Sheldon contemplated about her offer. If he looked at it in another perspective, Amy's proposed experiment would also benefit him because it will drive away the persistent Ramona Nowitzki.
"Counterproposal. I will agree acting as your fake boyfriend if you will drive everywhere without whining. In case I need your assistance, I want you to drop everything you're doing (unless they're of utmost importance) and immediately attend to my needs."
Amy let out a smile in response. She stretched out her arms and offered the lanky physicist her hand. "Seems like you've got yourself a deal."
Sheldon took Amy's petite hand and started shaking it. "Before this goes any further, I'd like you to personally ask me to be your fake boyfriend for formality."
"Do I have to? We already agreed to the terms."
"You know how much I need closure, Amy." he smirked. "Just say the word and I am all yours."
Amy shot him a look of disbelief. The audacity of this man!
Despite of irritation, she knew that she had no choice but to oblige him, or else, he'll continue to pester her. After taking a deep breath, she collected all the courage she could muster.
"Sheldon Lee Cooper, can you be my fake boyfriend?"
