Published December 5, 2016 for Matt Holt Week.
Revised and reposted on May 3, 2017.

"A Letter from Prison"


For rigorous teachers seized my youth,
And purged its faith, and trimmed its fire,
Showed me the high, white star of Truth,
There bade me gaze, and there aspire.
Even now their whispers pierce the gloom:
What dost thou in this living tomb?

~ Matthew Arnold, "Stanzas from the Grande Chartreuse"


The prospect of discovering life outside of Earth had always excited Sam and Matt. The universe was so vast, it seemed wasteful for Earth to be the only planet with sentient beings.

Now, instead of discovering aliens, they had been discovered by aliens; and it was, without a doubt, the worst thing that ever happened to any of them.

As he ran alongside his father and Shiro, a memory surfaced in Matt's mind: he and Katie used to chase each other, one of them pretending to be an alien in pursuit, the other a scientist fleeing abduction. How ridiculous that seemed, now that it was truly happening. It was more terrifying than they had ever imagined.

Be careful what you wish for. The Holt men had never found that old cliché truthful until now.

Shiro did not move, even when Sam and Matt were able to do so. After handcuffing the three of them, one of the purple humanoids removed Shiro's helmet to find out if he was still alive, and confirmed that he was. He regained consciousness while an alien who seemed to be in charge was delivering an audio-visual message through a screen. Somehow, the three astronauts understood what the aliens were saying—and it was not good.

In situations of conflict, Shiro's instinct was always to mediate, and, if necessary, to advocate for whichever party was not being heard or having its needs met. So he spoke, hoping that whatever translating technology allowed him to understand them would also work in reverse. "Please! We come from a peaceful planet." That might be a relative statement—they did not know how peaceful or violent other planets were by comparison—but Shiro followed it with statements he knew to be true. "We mean you no harm. We're unarmed!" His outspokenness was met with a blow to the head (maybe it was not hard by this alien race's standards, but they were strong), rendering him unconscious again.

They took Sam away for questioning first. Matt started to protest and tried to fight, but Sam told him to stop. "This is a way to find out what's going on," he said. Matt did not know if his father was being brave and rational, or trying to put on a brave face for his sake. It would be natural for a parent to hide his fear in front of his child, but Matt had come on this mission as his coworker, if not equal in rank, at least on a certain level of professionalism with him.

The huge purple guards led them down different hallways. One of them dragged Shiro behind him on the ground, while the one behind them pushed Matt forward. Through his helmet, Matt saw Shiro wake up. He turned his head from one side to the other, his eyes widening at what he saw. Matt's helmet and bent posture prevented him from following Shiro's gaze, but seeing that Shiro was afraid terrified him just as much as any of the current circumstances.

Once he got past the initial horror and incredulity of their situation, Sam tried to be rational, to view each moment the way a scientist would: observe, experience, analyze.

They had some strokes of luck, or providence, at least on a superficial level. For one thing, the air inside this alien race's vessels was breathable. They could not be certain of the long-term effects on their bodies, but for now, at least, they could accomplish that involuntary bodily function.

Sam made the younger astronauts wait while he slowly taste-tested the rations given to them, to see if the human body could ingest them safely. There were likely to be many more variables when it came to food: tolerance and digestibility might vary from one person to another, the same way allergies did. But after taking increasingly larger portions, Sam found that he was able to keep his food down, and told Shiro and Matt they could try it if they wanted. Eventually hunger won out.

When they saw how many inmates the Galra kept enslaved or imprisoned, they realized that they may not have been the first people from Earth to meet aliens. There had been other cases of astronauts going missing or presumed to have died in space. There may have been some who, like the Kerberos crew, were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Matt did not understand how Sam and Shiro could be so calm, handle everything so coolly. Even after the shock wore off, how could they not be terrified, angry, frustrated?

Sam tried to explain that he was just as scared, upset, and anxious to escape and find a way home (if that was possible), but also knew how to employ patience. It was something all scientists and military families, had to practice. It did not mean simply waiting for circumstances to change, though; it meant working toward a goal while accepting the reality that the process might take a long time and many failures. Shiro summed it up succinctly: "Patience yields focus." That was true, too: it helped them to think more clearly about each task at hand.

There were days when they felt the same high negative emotions. Shiro was frequently angered by the Galra's treatment of them, and of weaker prisoners. He also became indignant whenever he saw stronger prisoners taking advantage of weaker ones; he stepped in and set things straight.

Sam's anger was less frequent and less noticeable, but lasted longer each time. He knew how to hide his frustration, but it smoldered and threatened to weigh him down with pessimism. He was one of the smartest and most educated people on Earth, yet here he was treated as less than human—well, these other species weren't human either, but they seemed to have some distinction between people and animals. Despite all his natural intelligence and rigorous education, he could not protect his son, his crew, or his planet.

Learning to explore space had always made them feel empowered, but now, for the first time in their lives, they felt utterly helpless.

As the three humans learned more about the Galra Empire's aggressive expansion, they became fearful for Earth and its inhabitants. The Galra had already brushed the edges of the Milky Way; what if they explored that solar system further? Would they consider it worthwhile if only one of its planets supported life forms? Did the other planets have resources the Galra would want? Shiro tried to ask these questions when they had the chance, but their fellow prisoners did not know the answers, and their captors refused to answer. The uncertainty only increased their fear.

Shiro imagined how the Galaxy Garrison's training program might be different if they knew about aliens, particularly the hostile kind. Would they try to prepare students to face situations like this? Would they have any chance of success? Perhaps the best thing for Earth's overall welfare would be to end exploratory missions and focus on defending Earth against potential invaders.

Matt had once heard, in a history class, a story about five brothers who served in the American navy during World War II. They insisted on being assigned to the same ship, but the ship sank, so the family was left with no sons. From then on, the navy made sure to enforce its policy of not assigning immediate family members together.

The Galaxy Garrison had allowed Matt to go on this pioneering mission, despite his young age, because his father would be the one supervising him. But maybe that had been a mistake. If they had not have gone together, one of them would still be home to comfort the rest of their family.

Colleen would probably never let Katie become an astronaut now. She would not want to risk losing another family member, especially the last of her immediate family, her only remaining child, her only daughter.

Matt felt horrible for causing this end to Katie's dream, but then he had a thought that felt like a betrayal: maybe it would be better if Katie never entered space. He would never want her to be in this situation. Tough and smart as she was, these aliens were beyond anything she had ever experienced or imagined, in the worst way.

Was it right for them to hope that she never achieved her goals? Possibly, since she did not know what their achievement might entail.


History: The five brothers killed at sea were George, Francis, Joseph, Madison, and Albert Sullivan, who died when the ship they served on, the USS Juneau, was sunk on November 13, 1942. Like Matt, they left behind a sister, Genevieve.

Music: "A Letter from Prison" by Gilbert Hovsepian. I highly recommend its music video, directed by Joseph Hovsepian, produced by Sheryl Fountain, executive produced by Voice of the Martyrs Canada. When I hear about situations of injustice, especially persecution and genocide, it makes me think of stories like the Holt family and reminds me that these fictional stories have real-life counterparts.