Notes: No real notes today. Just more of the flower language and hints at future chessboard. And Ran with her shipping goggles on :)
Chapter 15: Thinking up an Answer
Gin sighed as he lay on his bed, pouring over the flower meanings in Rangiku's dictionary. Searching for the perfect reply. Rangiku had given him a shortlist of amiable, encouraging replies, but Gin knew going with any of those would ultimately end with Aizen getting bored and finding someone new. Gin refused to let that happen. He had to find a way to catch and keep his attention and win some amount of control over him. Keep him intrigued and entertained enough long enough for some feelings to develop. And that would be challenging. Gin knew it would take all of his wit and intelligence to do this, and even then, it still might not work. Aizen could still cast him aside, and everything he'd done could blow up in his face. But it was a risk Gin was willing to take. He couldn't deny there was a spark between them, and Aizen was a beautiful man. And Gin could certainly do a lot worse than Sousuke.
He'd be good to you.
But Gin wanted to be his one and only. The person he loved above all others. Gin wanted the monopoly on his heart. Anything less, and the man wasn't worth bothering over. So his next move in the game had to be chosen with care. Gin frowned at the pages in the book. It didn't help that there were so very many to choose from.
Gin was about to give up and curse the very name of whoever invented this overly complicated language when Rangiku knocked softly on the door of his bedroom.
"Gin?" she called out to him.
"Yes?" he closed the book and set it on the bed beside him.
"There's someone on the phone for you," she told him, her voice laced with the same excited undertones as before, "Someone important."
Gin smiled, "Are ya gonna tell me who it is?" he called back to her, his voice light and amused at her bubbly excitement.
"Come and find out!" she said teasingly.
Gin grinned and shook his head, getting up from the bed and walking over to the door. Lemme take a wild guess who it is, he thought.
Walking into the living room, he found Rangiku speaking eagerly into the phone, ushering him over with her hand.
"Yes, yes, he's here," she waved him over again. Apparently he wasn't moving fast enough for her liking, "I'll pass you over now."
She held the receiver out to him, and slowly, he took it from her. Gin took a deep breath in through his nose and sighed softly before speaking.
"Hello, Sousuke."
He was rewarded by Sousuke's voice, purring and seductive in his ear, and a shiver of pleasure ran through him. It was as if the man were right there, leaning over his shoulder.
"Gin," Sousuke greeted him, right before lowering his voice and asking, "What are you wearing?"
Gin's face turned about ten shades of red, which only prompted a lot of quiet giggling from Rangiku in the background. And Gin swore he could hear the smug smirk on Aizen's face when the man added, "Because I'm not wearing anything!"
Gin was too embarrassed for words. Though Shinsou was already snickering inside his mind again, whispering teasingly. You're thinking about his penis again...
Gin's face flushed even redder. It was true. He could just imagine Sousuke lying on his couch, completely naked, smirking as he held the phone receiver to his ear.
"Ya don't hafta sound so proud of yerself!" Gin blurted out. But the man just laughed.
"There's no need to be embarrassed, Gin. I know you're thinking about me. Wondering what I look like without any clothes on."
Gin could feel his face burning. What is he? A mind reader?
"Ya don't hafta sound so smug about it, either."
That only earned Gin another laugh.
"You know, Gin, there's nothing wrong with having confidence and feeling good about your body."
Gin sighed at the remark and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The man knew exactly what he was doing. He was only pretending to pass it off as a harmless comment about body confidence. But Gin could hardly call him out on it while Rangiku was watching and listening to every word he said.
"I suppose," Gin said, begrudgingly, "But a more important question is how did you get this number?"
Aizen's chuckle then was softer, "It was in the phone directory. It was easy enough to find you."
"So why are ya calling?" Gin asked him, "Or did ya just phone me up to embarrass me?"
"Well," Sousuke answered him, "I called to check if you got home safely. But you know me, I love to make you turn pink at every possible opportunity. Especially if it leads to situations like this morning."
Gin remembered that morning. That gorgeous mouth kissing and tasting him, pleasing him with what seemed like very little effort. Sousuke's eyes looking at him like he were the only being in the world. The only one worth looking at. Gin couldn't help the smile that crept across his face as he thought of it.
"Well," Gin grinned, "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me."
Rangiku was mouthing questions at him. What? What happened? What are you talking about? Tell me! But Gin ignored her, shushing her so he could focus on Sousuke.
"Oh, Gin," Sousuke sighed contentedly, "It was."
Gins smile widened and softened at the remark, and he took a moment to feel the moths fluttering about inside his stomach. Feel the surge of power the words gave him. It was a step in the right direction. If only there was a way he could keep Sousuke's attention, so that they could stay together for longer than the one night all of Aizen's other sexual partners got.
"By the way," Sousuke said, interrupting Gin's train of thought, "How is your tulip? It hasn't wilted yet, has it?"
Gin took a quick glance at the red tulip, still in its vase on the coffee table.
"It's fine," Gin told him, "Still alive at any rate."
"Did you put it anywhere nice?"
"Yeah, it's on my coffee table... in a little vase."
"So you can see it when you walk in every day?" Sousuke asked him. If Gin didn't know any better he'd say the man sounded hopeful.
"Yeah, something like that." Gin admitted. "I know what it means, though. In the flower language you mentioned."
"Oh," Sousuke said, amusement and intrigue saturating his voice, "You do?"
"Yeah. Ran told me. She looked it up. She has her own little flower dictionary."
"And what does it mean?" Sousuke asked, "A red tulip?"
Gin inhaled deeply in through his nose and out again quietly out of his mouth in a soft sigh. "A declaration of love."
"I knew you'd work it out." Sousuke told him, a touch of pride in his voice. "In that case, I shall eagerly await your response."
"Yeah, yeah," Gin answered him, "I'm- I'm working on it. I just... I gotta pick the right one, ya know?"
"Ah, of course." Sousuke said gently, "When communicating with the language of flowers, one must choose their flowers carefully and with thought. You take your time. Don't rush."
"It's okay." Gin answered, "I won't. Rush, I mean."
"Perfect." Sousuke said gently, "Well, I'll let you get on and enjoy the rest of your evening. I look forward to your response to my tulip. Goodnight, Gin."
Gin smiled, though Sousuke wasn't there to see it. "Goodnight, Sousuke."
Gin slowly and gently put the phone down after that, softly smiling to himself as he placed the receiver down in its cradle, thankful that Rangiku was giving him a moment before she barraged him with questions and comments. After a few moments, she grinned at him and began her questioning.
"So?" she cooed.
Gin eyes her suspiciously, "So what?"
"So, what happened?" she asked teasingly, "What did he say?"
Gin smiled at her, which only made her even more curious. So much so that she playfully swatted him on the arm. "Don't just smile, tell me!"
But Gin just kept smiling. "He called to check in on me. See if I made it home okay. Oh, and to embarrass me."
Rangiku covered her mouth as she giggled. "Yes. I saw. What did he say to you?"
"Well..."
"And what did you mean when you said you hoped it was as good for him as it was for you, hm? What were you talking about?"
"Ah, um. Ya see... ya see..." Gin stammered, flailing to find an explanation that wasn't the truth. A plausible explanation. One that Rangiku would buy. Because he really didn't want to have to say, out loud, 'Sousuke sucked me off this morning'. That was his private business and not a topic for the gossips to gossip about. And that aside, Ran would never let him hear the end of it if she knew. Never.
"Umm..."
"It's okay," she told him sweetly, "You can tell me."
No, I can't. Gin thought. Not that! There's no way in hell I'm telling anybody that! Not fer all the money in the world.
"I was talking about the kiss." Gin said. Only half a lie, because he did really hope Sousuke enjoyed their kiss as much as he did. Particularly the first one, after the magical moment with the piano and the music. His very first kiss, deep and passionate...
"I wanted to know if he liked it as much as I did."
That part was the truth.
He smiled as he remembered it, watching her face crack into a really wide grin. "Aww, that's so cute. What happened afterwards?"
"Nothing!" Gin blurted out, just a little bit too loudly. "We just kissed. That's all that happened."
"Hmm," Rangiku rubbed her chin, her smile morphing into a more devious version of itself. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"You don't look like you're sure."
"I'm sure." Gin repeated. "And even if anythin' else did happen, I sure wouldn' tell you."
She pouted and folded her arms across her body. "Aw Gin, you're mean. I told you everything about me and Shuuhei. You have to reciprocate!"
Gin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ran, there is such a thing as too much information, ya know."
She frowned. "Psh. Killjoy." She muttered. "Well, I suppose it's okay you just kissed for now. You don't want to rush into anything. You'll only regret it later if you did."
"Exactly." Gin agreed. "I don' wanna throw meself at him like a whore. I wanna be sure I love him and he loves me before I do that."
He glanced up at her, only to see a really wide, really sappy smile on her face. Much like the one she wore when she watched her telenovellas and something utterly romantic was happening. Gin studied her, more than a little worried.
"What?" he asked.
"I just think that's really sweet."
"What is?"
"That you wanna wait til you love him. Til you're sure."
Gin had to laugh a little at that. "Why?" he asked, a little incredulous, "Don't people do that anymore?"
"I'm not sure," Ran answered, "But still, I think it's really good you want to wait."
"Says the girl who wanted us to rip each other's clothes off not five minutes ago." Gin smirked.
"I never said that." she smiled playfully.
"No," Gin conceded, "But you were thinkin' it."
"You know me too well, you do." she smiled.
"Mm." Gin continued to grin at her, "Unfortunately."
She swatted his arm, pretending to be offended, and the both of them burst out laughing.
"Alright, come on, let's have some dinner." she smiled, "you can tell me more about last night and this morning."
"Well you were eavesdropping for most of last night, but if you insist." Gin grinned.
. . .
After dinner, Gin retired to his bedroom for the rest of the night. He'd already told Rangiku as much as possible without going into too much detail – particularly about the events of the morning – and now he was exhausted. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with that woman. Especially her enthusiasm for his newly found love life. But still, he was glad she was happy for him, because he was sure there would be more than a few disapproving looks from other people when they looked at the age gap between him and Sousuke.
He sighed slowly, changed into his sleeping robes and crawled into his bed. Grateful he could finally have time to think. About Sousuke, his feelings, and what sort of answer he was going to give to that tulip.
Gin thought about the flower and sighed. That tulip. That damn ridiculous tulip, complicating everything with its meaning in a dead language. Gin frowned. He supposed it was too much to hope for that a flower would be just a flower and the gift was just a nice gesture of affection. But then, this was Aizen Sousuke, who never did anything without purpose. And Gin should have known better. This tulip was just another move in the game. That's all it was.
And yet, Gin could still feel the way his heart had thumped in his chest when that fool gave him the red flower. Still feel his throat go dry and his knees go weak at the man's smile. For you, he'd said, and Gin had taken the flower off him and felt the fluttering of a thousand moths taking flight all at once inside his stomach when their fingers brushed against each other.
He could feel those moths now just thinking about it.
Good god, what was happening to him?
He sat up, pulling the duvet close around him and fluffing his pillows up behind him so he could sit comfortably. He had a feeling it would be a long night. He reached for the little flower dictionary and began looking for the perfect answer to the tulip sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Bracing himself for an onslaught of information, Gin took a deep breath and opened the book, letting his eyes scan down over the alphabetical list of flowers and their meanings. He spied the suggestions Ran gave him in the list. They jumped out at him as he turned the pages.
Ambrosia: love returned.
Coreopsis Arkansa: love at first sight.
Garden daisy: I share your sentiments.
All of them feelings he wasn't ready for. That he wasn't feeling yet. And as for love at first sight, well... that didn't even exist. At least, that's what Gin believed. Because love took time, and love took work. Nobody could fall in love with anyone just from looking at them. There was infatuation, sure. Lust at first sight, yes. But not love. Not the sort of love Gin wanted that led to a lasting relationship.
His eyes landed on the entry for cedar tree. Constancy, everlasting love. Yes. That was what he wanted. But he wasn't sure if Sousuke could give him that. In fact, Gin was sure the a was simply toying with him.
He flipped a few more pages and found another section of the book where the flowers were categorised by the emotions and feelings they conveyed. That's when he saw it.
Pink hyacinth. Game, play.
"You toy with me."
Yes. How highly appropriate, Gin thought. I could send that and say he's toying with me. Playing with me. Because he is.
He sighed again, turning more pages. He'd outright refuse the man now. Send a striped carnation and be done with it. With him. Because striped carnation meant extreme refusal. "I cannot be with you."
If it weren't for those damn moths, and those lips, and that tongue, and the way the idiot made him feel. Those things alone were enough to make Gin think twice about casting him off.
His eyes moved over the entries, finding apricot blossom. Doubt.
Gin frowned. Huh. So there is a flower for that. That one's appropriate, too.
Garden marigold his eyes landed on next. Uneasiness.
And that one. Ugh, think, Gin. What can you reply with?
He scanned the pages, frowning, trying to decide how he felt about it. Doubt, unease and mistrust all swirling about inside him. Shinsou stirred and groaned loudly.
Ugh, you know you're overthinking this far too much. The zanpaktou grouched. You know your first instinct is usually the right one.
Gin blew the air our of his mouth, trying to think. It certainly didn't help that there was a flower for every possible emotion one could feel. Love, doubt, anger, hatred, indecisiveness, infidelity and betrayal, joy, kindness, confusion, desire for intimacy both physical and emotional... Gin was overwhelmed by choice. And he didn't want to give Sousuke the wrong idea either, so that was an added pressure. He didn't want the man to think he was easy, or another one of his 'floozies', as Ran put it. But if things carried on the way they had that morning, that was the idea Aizen was going to get.
Gin sighed again. He was doing that a lot today. What'm I goin' to do?
Listen, Shinsou said, growing frustrated with his master, Men want what they've never had. So far, he's never met with any resistance. Resist and you'll pique his interest.
Gin thought about it for a moment. Hm, that might work... I guess I could try it.
Great. Shinsou answered, though Gin couldn't miss his sarcasm. You're welcome. Now can I get some sleep?
Yeah, sure. Gin told him. Grateful when Shinsou settled down and went to sleep. After which, Gin could mull over the idea in peace.
Resistance, huh? Maybe Shinsou has a point. Because it is a game, isn't it? A battle of wits and intrigue to see who will fall first.
Yes, he reasoned. It was a chess game, and the flowers in Rangiku's little book were the pieces. Gin just needed to find and move the right one to get things moving in his favour.
Because if Gin had learned anything today, it was that Aizen-sama liked games.
He returned to looking through the flower dictionary for an appropriate response. Now he knew what to look for, it would be easier to narrow it down to a few choices.
That was when he saw it, and the smile spread slowly across his face, full of deviousness and cunning.
Yes, he thought, studying the flower, making a mental note of the name of it. Yes, this's perfect.
He had to fight the urge to laugh maniacally, grinning like a Cheshire cat. If ya wanna play with me, Aizen Sousuke, he thought, Then let the game begin. Let it begin for real.
. . .
When monday morning rolled around, Gin woke up early and headed off to the communal garden the people in his apartment block shared in search of his chosen reply. He'd done some more research on sunday and found out what the flower looked like, where to find it, and what time of year it bloomed. Now he just had to locate, cut, and deliver it.
He found it without too much trouble. And since the flowers were small and had thin green stems, he grabbed a handful of them. Severing them from their roots with Shinsou. Satisfied with his find, he smiled and made his way towards the school with a spring in his step. His next stop; Aizen-sama's classroom. But first, a visit to the cafeteria to get a glass of water for the flowers to sit in.
. . .
Gin opened the door to the classroom, relieved to find it both unlocked and empty. He didn't know what he would do if Aizen were already here sitting at his desk. Gin liked to think he'd march straight over to him, plonk his impromptu vase of flowers in front of the man, and say "My reply". And then walk right back out again with confidence and purpose. But in reality, Gin knew he'd be a babbling, nervous mess and most likely make a fool of himself. Mostly because he felt a bit silly giving another much older man flowers. Because tradition dictated that women got flowers. But he also knew he'd probably make a fool out of himself because of those damn moths inside his belly that took flight whenever the man so much as looked at him. It was getting ridiculous.
Thankfully there was no-one here yet, and Gin was saved from embarrassing himself. Again. Because it was bad enough Gin puked on their date after they'd kissed without anything else on top of that.
Gin walked through the room to the teacher's desk and set down the flowers in their glass down on the coaster Aizen used for his mugs of tea, and examined the purple blooms, hoping they'd get the message across. He then thought idly how strange it was to be in an empty classroom – a room usually full of people and chatter – and how oddly peaceful it was, when he heard the whistling. And not long after, the footsteps of the person doing the whistling outside in the corridor.
Quietly, Gin cursed under his breath, grabbed his bag, and slipped out the door. Just in time to see Sousuke in passing. Gin greeted him with a quick "hello", and flashed a very forced smile before walking off very quickly down the corridor and out of the building.
. . .
Sousuke watched Gin go, slightly perplexed. What was that all about?
Maybe he's come up with an answer to your tulip, Kyouka Suigetsu ventured. Maybe he came in early and left it for you because he didn't want anybody he's nervous about your reaction.
He shrugged. Well, only one way to find out.
Aizen opened the door to his classroom and walked over to his desk, setting his bag underneath the wooden piece of furniture. He had to smile when he saw his darling's reply to him, sitting in a glass of water, right on top of his coaster where he put his morning mugs of tea.
His face broke out into a huge grin as he eyed the handful of small purple flowers, no doubt cut by Gin's zanpaktou because he could feel Gin's spiritual energy all over the flowers in front of him. A personal touch, he mused as he pulled out his chair and sat down. Taking one of the flowers out of the glass and inhaling its calming scent. Keenly aware Gin's beautiful fingers had handled it not that long ago.
Lavender. He thought, quietly mulling over the meaning of the flower. Mistrust.
He smirked to himself, highly amused.
Ah, so, my darling. That's how you want to play.
