Published June 18, 2018

Takes place throughout Season 3

"Playing with the Big Boys"


"Did you say the stars were worlds, Tess?"

"Yes."

"All like ours?"

"I don't know; but I think so. They sometimes seem to be like the apples on our stubbard-tree. Most of them splendid and sound—a few blighted."

"Which do we live on—a splendid one or a blighted one?"

"A blighted one."

"'Tis very unlucky that we didn't pitch on a sound one, when there were so many more of 'em!"

"Yes."

"Is it like that really, Tess?" said Abraham, turning to her much impressed, on reconsideration of this rare information. "How would it have been if we had pitched on a sound one?"

~ Thomas Hardy, Tess of the D'Urbervilles


One of Pidge's greatest fears was of the unknown—not mere variables, which were a matter of course in the scientific method, but completely unexpected factors, circumstances and developments that cast a different light on everything you thought you knew, forcing you to shift your paradigm and uproot your previous understanding of how the world worked.

After the discovery that aliens were real and had kidnapped her family, the biggest surprises were that Zarkon had once been a paladin and that there were Galra fighting Zarkon from inside his empire. As weeks went by in the aftermath of their fight with Zarkon, Pidge kept a running list of the many other surprises that came their way.

One: Shiro disappeared for no discernible reason. They had no evidence, no data to work with, only hypotheses they could not test.

Two: The Black Lion wanted Keith, of all people, to be the new head of Voltron. If pressed, Pidge would have guessed Allura to be the best candidate, since she was the group's diplomat and decision-maker. Keith was a skilled fighter and could pull off amazing stunts, but he was antisocial and hot-tempered—the kind of person best fit for a spy or a special agent, not the kind you wanted to lead negotiations or charges into battle.

Three: Zarkon had a son. The paladins did not want to think about how that could have happened, but Pidge was too much in the habit of developing hypotheses and theories to stop herself. They had known that the Empire would not collapse when they killed Zarkon, but they had not known of an heir apparent.

Four: Multiple realities existed. It was not clear whether each reality was its own universe within a larger body (a multiverse?), or there was one universe containing multiple realities. Pidge and Hunk spent hours afterwards discussing theoretical physics and trying to reconcile their knowledge with their experience.

Five: Shiro returned, saying he had again been captured by the Galra, and again not knowing exactly how he had escaped. Pidge wondered if they were in a time loop, something Allura had confirmed was real. Had they stumbled into one of those during or after their reality-jumping adventure? Because Shiro's sudden return and inability to remember what happened in his absence was suspiciously similar to how he returned after Ulaz freed him. This time, though, he seemed to be in even worse shape. He smelled awful, having been confined to that tiny pod without a bathroom to wash up in. The worst body odor Pidge had ever smelled was Matt's scent after his workouts, back when she was helping him get physically fit for the Galaxy Garrison. Shiro's smell was far more pungent.

Pidge hung back while Keith and Coran practically carried Shiro to the infirmary. She could not do much in the way of medical treatment. She was of more use analyzing the data they collected on their missions. But she and everyone else frequently checked on Shiro's status to see how he was doing.

She had sometimes imagined bringing Matt and their father back home to her mother. Colleen would probably hover over them, asking what they needed, offering anything they might want. The paladins and Alteans were the same way, though they tried not to be overbearing about it.

At Keith's insistence, they all took turns sitting with Shiro as he recovered. Keith did not want him to be left alone, ostensibly because Shiro was in such a shaky physical and mental condition, but probably also out of fear that, if left alone, Shiro might disappear again. And maybe it was also to keep Shiro from feeling as alone as he had been the past week.

When it was Pidge's turn, Shiro was asleep. She brought her computer with her, thinking to continue working, but now that she was in the same room as Shiro, she found herself unable, or unwilling, to draw her attention away from him. She reached out and held his left hand, his only remaining human hand, which lacked the glove he used to wear on it. Pidge's hand was tiny in comparison. Her fingers were slender, nimble from typing and working with delicate scientific instruments; his were rough, strong from fighting in gladiatorial matches and paladin missions.

When Shiro woke and found Pidge holding on to him this way, he squeezed her hand, which was one of the most reassuring things Pidge had ever experienced. She swallowed to keep her emotion at bay. "Hey Shiro," she managed to say casually.

"Hey Pidge."

That greeting made her heart almost ache. For one thing, it was the same way Matt used to greet her. For another, it had been a long time since she had heard Shiro say her name, and during that period she had not been sure she would hear it again.

Shiro seemed to notice her emotions despite her efforts to hide them. "You okay?"

Pidge found that question, coming from him to her, laughable. "After—everything—you're asking if I'm okay?"

Shiro blinked, then shrugged, mumbling something. "What?" Pidge asked, afraid she had said something wrong.

"It's … easier, I guess … at least for me … to worry about other people instead of myself."

That fit what Pidge knew of Shiro's caring personality, slight hero complex, and leadership ability. He had supported all of them through their training and other adventures—Pidge's search for her family, Keith's discovery that he had Galra family—while dealing with his own trauma from the Kerberos mission.

For a long moment Shiro just lay on his side, looking at her. Pidge returned his gaze until it felt, to her, awkward, and she glanced down, only to look back at him again. When she spoke, she tried to keep her voice gentle, almost nonchalant. "I know you didn't leave us on purpose, but try not to let it happen again, okay? I already lost one dad and brother." Shiro had sort of filled in for both in their absence, sometimes acting like a brother, sometimes like a father. "Losing you was like having it happen all over again."

Shiro nodded, both understanding her feelings and agreeing to her request. "Have you made any progress searching for them?"

"I analyzed the footage from Beta Traz, and went on some research trips, but I've been at a standstill the past couple weeks. Since Lotor showed up I haven't had enough time to investigate." Pidge regarded Shiro's long, unkempt hair and beginnings of a beard. "You look so different, and you were only gone a few months. I can't imagine how they'll look after being away for over a year. Not that it matters, but, you know. It shows how a lot has changed."

"Yeah." That one syllable sounded hard for Shiro to say. The silence that followed it felt heavy. It seemed as though Shiro was looking inward on himself.

To diffuse the solemn mood, Pidge rambled, "I can't decide if I like your hair or not. I mean, if you washed and brushed it, it might look cool. But maybe I'm just jealous because I miss having long hair."

That brought a partial smile to Shiro's face. "I missed you, Pidge."

She could no longer keep her tears back. "I missed you too." She leaned over and hugged him, which was a little awkward because he was still lying down, but he put his arms around her and held her as best he could. Though still tired, he was not as feeble as he had been when Keith found him, and he had the same warmth Pidge remembered. At least that had not changed.

Six: The next surprise was the discovery of Lotor's teleduv pieces and his ship made from the trans-reality comet's ore, coupled with the fact that Lotor was fighting Zarkon's forces rather than commanding them. What kind of leader was he trying—or pretending—to be? Whose side was he on—the Galra Empire, their enemies, or his own third party?

After their run-in with Lotor and his generals in the Ulippa System, the paladins and Alteans held a meeting to assess their information and come up with a working hypothesis. Shiro insisted that Coran tell them the full story of how Voltron was made, so they could figure out what Lotor was doing with the same kind of ore.

The thing about the story that made Pidge uncomfortable was that she understood, and could almost agree with, Honerva's perspective. When you found out about something new, learning more about it made it less frightening. But there were ethical boundaries that one had to follow, like not endangering people who were unaware of or unwilling to help with an experiment. All the Galra should have had a say in what to do about the rift on their planet. Honerva had been wrong to take such risks without their consent, and Zarkon had been wrong to support her with his political and technological power.

But the story finally helped the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Now they had a fair idea of Lotor's goals, which meant they might be able to anticipate his actions and not be so caught off guard in the future. Pidge just hoped no more proverbial wrenches or curveballs would be thrown their way.


Music: "Playing With the Big Boys" from Prince of Egypt, by Hans Zimmer, Stephen Schwartz, and John Powell.