A/n: why does this ch feel like the end of part 1 of this?

Notes: 4740 words. Waffles&fluff featuring flower language and some Demi-ace feels. Enjoy a thing I wrote as a pick-me-up a couple months back. Song is Rebecca Sugar's.

As an artist I am tempted to recreate what Aizen's notebook might look like... but first I rest and recharge.


Chapter 28: A Love Like You

Aizen groaned as the sunlight hit his eyelids. Gods, getting wasted yesterday was a stupid idea. Quite possibly one of his stupidest ideas to date. If his pounding head and killer headache were anything to go by. He'd rank himself quite high on the idiocy scale, if such a thing existed. This was the last straw. After this, he'd never touch another drop of alcohol. And if he did he most certainly wouldn't down the stuff like tea. He wouldn't make that mistake again in a hurry. No, sir.

He buried his face in the pillow to hide away from the sun and its infernal blindingness. Hating the natural light source. Feeling certain that this must be how vampires feel.

"Fucking sun," he muttered, his words muffled by the pillow. He huffed a long, aggravated sigh, willing the pain in his head to go away. Even though the only way to actually make it disappear was to brave the blinding sun and venture out of the comfort of his bed in search of water and painkillers.

Well, that's what you get for drinking yourself into a stupor like that. Kyouka chided. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture, though.

Fuck off, will you? I learnt my lesson already.

Hm, I suppose. She answered, though very begrudgingly. He knew he'd hear about it later though. No doubt she had a whole lecture planned for him. Good god he hoped not.

He closed his eyes and tried to bury further under the duvet. Partly wishing he could fall back to sleep again. But it just wasn't on the cards. So he resorted to just trying to tune the rest of the world out. An old standby mechanism for when he wasn't feeling up to facing the outside world. He'd almost succeeded in tuning it completely out when a soft voice quickly brought it back into sharp focus. Though not painfully so.

"Oh. Yer awake."

Aizen still had his face hidden in his pillow, but he felt the smile even in his bones. I know that voice.

He slowly shifted his body and lifted his head up to see Gin standing by the side of the bed, already washed and dressed, holding a mug of tea. Smiling softly down at him.

I know that smile, too.

"I brought you tea," Gin said softly. Still smiling. Filling him up with warmth. Looking for all the world like an angel, the way his body blocked out most of the sun.

"Thanks," Sousuke smiled, then winced at the soreness of his throat and the gravelliness of his voice. It made him wonder if he looked a wreck too. He certainly felt and sounded like one.

Thankfully Gin was kind, and didn't bring it up.

"S'alright," he answered as he set the tea on the bedside table. "I won't ask ya how yer feelin'." he added, with a little sheepish smile. "I know right now yer prob'ly feelin' like ya been hit by a truck."

Sousuke managed a chuckle. "Yes, that sums it up very accurately," he smiled through the pain. "A very big truck. Or perhaps a train."

"Ouch, a train. Ya must need painkillers then."

"If you wouldn't mind," Sousuke answered, somewhat sheepishly. Gin didn't have to babysit him, after all.

"Course I don't mind." Gin smiled brightly. "Where are they?"

"Bathroom cupboard. Top shelf."

Gin nodded and left to fetch them, only stopping for a moment in the doorway to turn back and tell him, "Don't you go anywhere."

Sousuke laughed then. "As if I could," he joked. Because really, he couldn't even move. Gin seemed to appreciate the joke though, because he snickered a little before he set off on his mission to find and retrieve his pain relief.

. . .

Gin managed to find the bathroom without too much trouble and found the cupboard hiding the painkillers. Actually getting them though was a bit difficult, because he had to stand right on his tippy toes just to be able to reach. And gin refused to go and drag a chair in here to stand on. He might be a bit vertically challenged (for the moment, at least) but he still had his pride, dammit.

Anyway, after some effort, he'd retrieved what he sought and filled a glass of water to take back with him. You can't take pills with tea, after all. And the best thing Aizen-sama could do for himself right now was stay hydrated. So he carried both water and medicine back to his intrepid patient who'd placed himself in Gin's hands. Maybe when Aizen was feeling up to it, Gin could draw him a bath.

But first, he had to give the patient his medicine.

. . .

"Are these em?" Gin asked as he walked back into the bedroom, trying to make it look like he was reading the dose information on the box instead of giddily oggling Aizen's big smile that appeared the moment he set foot through the door. He didn't know how successful he was though.

"That's them. Thankyou, Gin."

Gin nodded and handed him the box so he could take them. Knowing that, like him, Aizen would be suspicious of pills not in their packages. Not that he'd ever drug Aizen against his will, but growing up Rukon made you suspicious of a lot of things.

Gin watched Aizen swallow two of the pills with the glass of water.

"You need anythin' else while I'm up?" Gin asked.

"No, no I-" Aizen began, but the loud grumbling of his stomach interrupted him. Gin tried his best not to snicker at his embarrassment.

"Some food maybe?" Gin offered.

"Some food sounds good, yes." Aizen answered.

"Kay. What ya want?"

"Surprise me," Aizen smiled. Gin just nodded.

"A'ight." he said. "Be right back."

. . .

Aizen lay back in his bed again, quite pleased with his current situation. Well, not the hangover, that was awful. But the rest of it – Gin staying the night, helping to look after him, even making him breakfast – the rest of it was lovely. Another goofy smile spread across his face as he looked up at the ceiling.

Well, I'd say you've done very well for yourself, Kyouka Suigetsu teased. Aizen opened an eye.

What are you talking about now?

You know what I mean, she said. Your new boy-toy looking after you.

He sighed. If you're planning a lecture-

No lectures, she said gently. I was just going to say it's nice. That you've got him to look after you.

She let that sink into his mind, not saying anything else.

"Yeah," he said, after a few moments of silence. A soft smile tugging the corners of his lips upwards. "It is."

. . .

Gin was looking through the cupboards and the fridge, taking a mental inventory of the food Aizen had in, when Shinsou's voice hummed in his mind.

Ohhh, check you being a little housewife for the day and looking after loverboy, he teased, snickering.

Gin groaned internally. Apparently one day without any sarcastic remarks from his zanpaktou was just too much to ask for.

Shut up, he answered. Hm, there was bacon in the fridge. Perfect. He could make them both bacon sandwiches

What? Shinsou feigned innocence. I think it's cute.

S'not cute. S'bein' a decent person, Gin answered. Taking the bacon out of the fridge.

Ha! Yeah, I believe that for like, two seconds. Shinsou snorted. You care about him.

Gin rifled through more cupboards until he found a frying pan. Shut up.

Pfft. You only say that because you know I'm right. The fox said smugly.

Shut up.

Case in point. Shinsou grinned. Gin just sighed and turned on the stove to fry the bacon. Wishing he could trade in his snarky little shit of a zanpaktou.

. . .

Aizen was dozing quietly when Gin returned, plated sandwiches in hand. He was probably awake, or at least half awake, but Gin thought he'd better announce himself. Couldn't have his patient having a heart attack now, could he?

"Hey, I'm back," he called gently, in as light and sing-song a voice as he could. He surprised even himself with how soft and... affectionate his voice sounded. He didn't dwell on it though. "I brought food," he added, holding the plates up as Sousuke dragged himself to a sitting position.

"Hope you don't mind, I used the last of your bacon," Gin said, handing over one of the sandwiches; the one without the black edges on the bacon.

"It needed using anyway," Sousuke smiled at him. "Thankyou."

"S'alright." Gin shrugged, though he could feel the heat in his face already. At least thankfully Aizen didn't comment on it. But then, he was probably feeling too rough after his day of being the town drunkard to comment on his skin colour.

"You've gone very pink." Sousuke smirked at him. Which of course made Gin blush even more. Well, maybe not too ill to embarrass him after all. Sousuke just chuckled.

"Jus' shu'up an' eat yer sandwich." Gin told him.

Aizen tried to suppress a little snicker. "Yes dear," he smirked. Gin shot him a glare, and after that Aizen went quiet and did as he was told.

Good, Gin thought. Maybe now I'll get a break from the teasing.

Shinsou snorted. Ha! Not likely.

Gin groaned inwardly and bit into his own sandwich.

. . .

When the sandwiches had been devoured, Gin carried the dirty plates downstairs – much to Aizen's disappointment, because he'd been very obvious about wanting to cuddle. But too many years of living in the squalor of the Rukongai and the fact this wasn't his house compelled Gin to clean up the mess. In his defence, he'd never washed up so fast in his life before going back up the stairs.

Sousuke's face was a picture (if a picture could look very pleasantly surprised).

"That was fast," he smiled.

Gin shot back a smug smirk of his own, crossing his arms for effect; a trick he'd learnt from the master himself sitting in the bed. "Told ya I'd be quick. "Ya look so surprised."

Sousuke's smile broadened. "Very pleasantly surprise, I assure you," he said. Patting the empty side of the bed next to him. "Care to join me?"

Gin walked across the room and climbed onto the bed, settling himself under Sousuke's arm. Resting his head on the man's chest. Doubting that anyone else had been allowed this close. Gin was so close in fact, he could hear Sousuke's heart beating, the small center of a universe separated from him by a fragile layer of skin, muscle, and a cage made of bones. If only he could reach in and touch it... take a hold of the beating organ and keep it somewhere safe. Maybe even hold it hostage until it developed Stockholm Syndrome and grew to love him.

"Comfortable?" Sousuke asked, gently pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Mmm-hmm." Gin nodded. "So comfy could fall 'sleep."

He heard Sousuke laugh softly, feeling the sound reverberate through the man's chest. "You can fall asleep if you want. I don't mind."

Gin smiled to himself. He could swear he'd heard the smile in Sousuke's voice as he spoke.

"'kay," Gin nodded, closing his eyes slowly. "Bu' don' lemme sleep too long."

"I won't." Sousuke answered. Gently sighing and stroking Gin's hair. And pretty soon Gin was lulled into sleep by the heaviness of his body, Sousuke's warmth, and the gentleness of the hand on his head.

. . .

Gin woke up what felt like several hours later.

He slowly hefted his body up, ready to grouch at Sousuke for letting him sleep so long, but he stopped when he saw the man, too, was fast asleep. Gin sighed. He couldn't berate him when he looked so peaceful like that. So instead, Gin just very carefully extricated himself and crept out of the room. He made his way back down the stairs to make himself another cup of tea. Thinking this might be a perfect opportunity to do some exploring. See who Aizen Sousuke was as a person when the world wasn't watching. And what better way to do that than snooping around his house?

He made himself a mug of tea and took it with him on his journey through Sousuke's house and his life.

He started in the living room and worked his way through the house, looking for the good stuff. The personal stuff. The things that told him who Sousuke was.

You know, you could just ask him, Shinsou said, and Gin could feel his zanpaktou roll his eyes. Instead of sneaking around.

Ha, yeah, an' have him give me the varnished version? Gin asked, skeptical. No thanks.

Have it your way, Shinsou sighed. Just don't whine to me if he catches you and gets mad.

He won't get mad, Gin told him. But Shinsou had stopped listening. So he turned his attention back to his snooping.

He decided the piano room would be as good a pace to start as any. Particularly since by his own admission Sousuke hadn't shared his music with anyone else but him. And there were bound to be things in there Sousuke was determined to keep secret. So he went in there. But carefully; he didn't want to make any loud noises and wake the man up. He needed his sleep. And besides, Gin didn't really fancy having to explain himself if he got caught.

So he was careful, and quiet. And was very cautious about leaving everything just as he found it.

It was a small-ish room, sparsely furnished. The main features being of course, the piano, and the bookcases holding various novels, folders, papers, and surprisingly even a few notebooks. Duh, of course he has notebooks, Gin chided himself. He's gotta write his own songs down somewhere.

He reached up to take one off the higher shelves, only to send three more tumbling to the floor. Gin heard the series of loud thuds and winced at the noise, quietly praying Aizen was a heavy sleeper.

He bent down and picked them up, hoping to put them back in the right order on the shelf. He was about to do so when he caught a glance at the covers of the notebooks. The covers were plain, but in the top left corners they were numbered. 'Book 10', 'Book 11', 'Book 12'. Accompanied by a set of dates. The date the book was started and when it was finished and filled. Gin looked at the dates and picked book 11, because it was the most recent, and also because it had no end date. Sousuke was still in the process of filling up this one. It totally didn't have anything to do with the fact the dates on the cover overlapped with when Gin first met him. Not at all...

Psh, liar, Shinsou smirked, calling him out. Gin felt heat creep up into his face at that, but said nothing. He had more important things to do than get into stupid arguments with his zanpaktou about stupid things. Like reading the contents of the notebook he had in his hands. He put the others back on the shelf and sat on the empty piano bench to read the as yet unfinished book.

Gin hadn't really known what to expect when he opened the book, but nonetheless he was pleasantly surprised. A good chunk of the pages were filled with Sousuke's beautiful handwriting. Page after page covered in words written in ink – Sousuke seemed to favour the colour black, he noticed. On some pages there were poems. On others, notes on lyric structure. Story ideas filled others. And songs. Every other page had a song. Sometimes single verses, with sketched in music bars holding notes. On other pages, there were fully written pieces.

Gin was amazed. It was so much like looking through one of Rangiku's sketchbooks, only this time the beautiful art was made up of words. And music that evoked a story. Okay, fair enough, Gin couldn't actually read the music... yet. But even so. He had fun imagining what the background music to some of the verses might be. If they would be light and fast or slow and melancholic. The possibilities were endless. Gin just wished he had a talent like that. Well, he used to tell Ran bedtime stories when they were younger, made up tales of adventure to escape the hell on earth that was the Rukongai, even if just for a little while. But it was one thing telling stories and quite another recording them all somewhere. And each time he tried, he worried the words would come out of the pen wrong, and get all jumbled, so in the end he gave up trying. Rangiku hadn't been very happy about that. And he doubted Sousuke would be, either. But what could he do?

He chose to be in this moment instead, looking through Sousuke's notebook, getting a sense of who he was. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there just reading through, turning the unlined pages – which only made Sousuke's neat and straight handwriting look more impressive – but time seemed to stand still. It was quiet in the room, too. Soundproof? Gin wondered.

Probably, Shinsou answered.

Gin just shrugged and turned the next page, blinking when he looked at the title of the song. Firstly because of the sudden genre change; most of the songs before this had been darker, melancholic almost. The one about the circles especially... well at least the notes about that one, obviously a piece still in its inception, ready for fleshing out. But this... this was different. And it had been written after they'd met and started dating.

Well, lookie what we got here, Gin grinned, casting his eyes over the title, and al the beautifully written words underneath it. Unable to help his smile broadening and warmth suffusing him as he read.

If I could begin to be,
Half of what you think of me,
I could do about anything,
I could even learn how to love.

When I see the way you act,
wondering when I'm coming back,
I could do about anything,
I could even learn how to love like you.

Love, like you...

Gin felt the warmth the song carried, the hopefulness. The desire to be a better person. It was a song he related to, because how often had he walked next to Sousuke, held his hand, and wanted to be all those things Sousuke said he was. He knew right now, he wasn't, but... he would be. In time, with Sousuke by his side, he would be. And if not, then, well, he'd certainly try to be.

He read on, utterly enthralled by the song. Even though he could only imagine the sound of it.

I always thought I might be bad,
Now I'm sure that it's true,
'Cause I think you're so good,
And I'm nothing like you.

Look at you go,
I just adore you,
I wish that I knew,
What makes you think I'm so special.

Gin read those last verses carefully again. This... was this how Sousuke really felt about him? Truly? Because if so, it was eerily like looking into a mirror. Looking at himself. Because hadn't he been concerned since the day they met about being 'enough' for Sousuke?

It struck a chord with him, and somehow, in some twisted way, it warmed his heart a little. Because Aizen was battling the same insecurities as him. It made Aizen seem more reachable, more... human. And that was the part of him Gin liked. He'd seen that part of Aizen before, on the night they'd eaten the Rukon stew together. But here it was in writing. In black and white. Documented, irrefutable proof it existed. And that was all Gin needed to see.

He read on.

If I could begin to do,
Something that does right by you,
I would do about anything,
I would even learn how to love, like you.

Love, like you.

Gin sat silently with the notebook on his lap and then gently closed it. Handling the book like it were a sacred object, he rose to his feet and placed it carefully back where it came from on the bookshelf.

He left the room with an altered perspective. His heart quietly digesting his newest discovery. Feeling his heart thaw a little with the warmth flowing through him. Instantly he thought of peppermint. Warmth of feeling. And the thought occurred to him that perhaps he wasn't being fair. Perhaps he wasn't giving Aizen enough credit. That maybe he was being too frigid towards the man. Especially with that lavender. Mistrust.

Flowers that would follow them forever now, because of him. Gin winced. He wasn't too sure how he felt about that.

But perhaps it wasn't too late to fix it.

He moved quietly back through the house again and found himself back in the living room, opening his bag – still where he'd left it yesterday – searching.

He knew what he was looking for. He just hoped they wouldn't be too damaged or dehydrated from spending the night in his bag. If they were he'd have to go and get fresh ones, and to do so he'd have to find a way to excuse himself without looking like he was making an escape, and he didn't think he could do that.

Thankfully the flowers weren't in too bad shape, and Gin sighed with not a small amount of relief at that. Now all he had to do was find a vase or a glass or something and let them rehydrate before he gave them to Sousuke.

Gin carried the flora into the kitchen, feet padding softly on the floor as he walked. The floor cool on his bare feet, which was an undeniably pleasant sensation. Especially now the day was warming up.

He set the peppermint and white poplar branch on the counter and opened up the cupboards in search of a glass to put them in. Finding a tall drinking glass that would suit his needs, he filled it at the tap and put his flowers in it. Then he set the makeshift vase on the counter near the window and waited. Wondering how long it generally took for slightly wilted flowers to come back to life again after being given water. Although may as well ask 'how long is a piece of strong?' because he supposed it would depend on the plant and the amount of water.

He studied the flowers with a soft gaze and let his mind wander. Trying to guess how Sousuke would react to his latest floral offering. Gin imagined he'd be thrilled. But he'd take pleasantly susprised if thrilled was too much of a stretch. If nothing else, he'd be amused by the attempt to win him over. But he reasoned with himself. This was what Sousuke wanted. And for the past however many weeks, Aizen had been doing his best to get him to warm up to him. To thaw out, if only just a little bit. Any progress on this front would doubtlessly be well received. Gin would be a fool to think otherwise.

That's exactly what I've been trying to tell you! Shinsou sighed, exasperated. But you never listen.

Gin snorted. Well I aint gonna listen if all ya do's nag me, he huffed. Now shu'up an' lemme daydream.

Fine. Shinsou huffed, and lapsed into silence. Leaving Gin to his thoughts.

He stood in the kitchen for a little while longer, lost in his musings of Sousuke and flowers. Leaning over the counter on his elbow and holding his chin in his hand. Eyes fixed on the flowers in the glass.

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there for, because time seemed to stand still agan. Or at least it felt like it did, standing in the sunlight. Basking in its warmth like the cold blooded thing he was. Thawing out his frigid heart as the peppermint rejuvinated.

Daydreaming about Aizen Sousuke, like he used to do.

He had to smile at himself. Apparently some things never changed.

It was kind of funny, that.

He smiled at the flowers on the counter and laughed very softly. Perhaps he really was thawing. Perhaps he really was warming up to Sousuke.

Maybe he really was opening up, finally, to the idea of a relationship with the older man.

His smile softened. Yeah, he definitely was.

"Oh, that's interesting."

Gin jolted, started. Of course it could only be one person. He turned his head sharply to see the man himself standing in the kitchen doorway, looking very pleased with himself.

Gin swallowed, feeling completely wrong footed. Very much caught off guard.

Oh no.

Ooh dear god, no.

This was not how it was supposed to go down, no.

Gin swallowed again. He was supposed to just quietly leave the flowers for him to find somewhere. Not this.

Sousuke pointed to the flowers in the glass and smiled. Looking for all the goddamn world like a happy little adorable puppy. If he had a tail Gin knew it'd be wagging furiously. Heat rushed headlong into his face, and he heard Shinsou snicker.

Busted!

Sousuke's smile broadened. "Those are for me, aren't they?"

Gin's face – no, his whole body – was on fire.

"Yes," Gin answered. "Who else would they be for?" he added, with as much confidence as he could muster. His voice was a little unsteady, but he thought he managed it. "The tooth fairy?"

"Touche," Sousuke smirked. "Can I see?"

Gin reached out and grabbed the flower glass, trying not to die of embarrassment in the process. Though he couldn't tell how successful he was. He held it out to Sousuke and watched his face carefully. "Here."

Sousuke took the glass carefully. Almost as if it would detonate if he moved too quickly or held it with too tight a grip.

Gin watched his face change, almost seeing the gears turn inside the man's mind as he decoded the message. Flicking through his mental cipher.

Gin watched too, as the message registered in his brain. Saw hs amused smile fade into something a lot softer.

"Oh."

It wasn't the thrilled reaction of pure unadulterated joy Gin had been thinking of. But he knew Sousuke did things very subtlely.

Well, that and, the man was probably in shock. It would probably take a bit of time for it to properly sink in.

Once it did, Gin was sure the man would be appropriately thrilled by this.

The softness of that smile told him so.

And the fact that the light of it actually reached his brown eyes, lighting him up like the sun certainly did help.

Gin smiled, saying nothing. Choosing instead to let the moments pass as Sousuke digested this new move. Alright, it wasn't the declaration of undying love Aizen might have wanted, but it was a start.

It was a small step in the right direction. All Gin could realistically give at this moment in time. He wasn't one to fall in love at first sight. Neither was he lured by physical beauty. Gin was someone who had to really know a person before he could say he desired them. He had to have a deep, meaningful connection with them. And there was no way in hell he could climb into bed with someone he didn't know. Didn't love. Didn't trust. It was just the way his brain was wired.

But if Sousuke could give him time, and patience, maybe Gin could get to that place with him.

Peppermint and white poplar.

In time my feelings will warm to you.

And the gentle, somewhat awed expression on Sousuke's face told him his message had been understood.

"Thankyou, Gin," Sousuke said softly. As if speaking too loud would shatter both the glass in his hand and the moment.

Gin just smiled in answer. For the first time in a long while, happy.

"Yer welcome, Sousuke."