Author's Note

The chapter contains a brief depiction of violence.

A subtle, pleasant breeze carried the sweet scents of trees from a small forested area near the prison's location. Singing birds and the occasional stray spirit could be seen among the thick branches. The sun was warm over her cheeks, paler than customary due to the extended involuntary time indoors, yet the dark-haired prisoner didn't appear to notice the pleasant weather or the clear, cloudless sky. She was walking around the prison yard with a paused, measured pace which allowed her to follow the content of the letter without jarring movements. Kuvira and the letter's author didn't really share what could be considered a relationship.

They initially crossed paths when one was a captain of guards and the other guest of said captain's superior. In this capacity, the former Zaofu officer battled courageously against the Red Lotus. She even saved the Southern Water Tribe's chief's life. Said chief also happened to be the Avatar's progenitor. Their most recent interaction had put them at opposite sides of a ferocious, intense fight, culminating in the dramatic showdown that altered Republic City's skyscape forever. Over two years into her incarceration, Kuvira had the opportunity to know more about her former enemy than in all the previous years put together. That could explain why the content of the letter made her feel sorrowful, and yet there was a sense of cautious expectation at the same time, a paradox she was struggling to understand.

In short, simple yet poignant lines, the Avatar had explained what happened after her scheduled meeting with her girlfriend Asami Sato at Korra's homeland. Even with Korra's best intentions and Kuvira's best wishes, the relationship between the friends turned lovers had taken an unfortunate turn that led them to the difficult and painful decision of breaking up, or how the Southern Water Tribe native put it "to take a break as romantic partners" but agreeing to pursue the friendship they steadfastly maintained for years. It made sense they attempted to salvage what had brought them together in the first place, but it was still an unfortunate scenario, one in which the former captain was sure it overwhelmed her friend with a sense of profound loss and sadness. Was it right to call her "friend?" Kuvira wondered. At this stage of her life, Korra was the only person close enough to her to be that, one of the few positive highlights of an otherwise exceptionally harrowing experience. She wondered how much harder her incarceration would be if she couldn't count on the unexpected support of the Avatar. She suspected that her state of mind and spirit would be sunk in a far worse situation. Perhaps she might not even be here at all. The war was over and yet Korra still kept Kuvira's lease on life.

"Time's up Great Uniter!" the gruff voice of the veteran guard brought her out of her contemplative state. Kuvira waited for the guards to approach her. As part of the daily routine, they would inspect her binds, flanking her at opposite sides to begin the long trek towards her cell. Another guard stood at the gate and once the access to the yard was secured, the guard would join the escort to deliver the prisoner back. It was a routine that had been dealt with quickly, efficiently, and without incidents since Kuvira had been granted yard privileges.

"Today was much nicer than yesterday," the female guard commented. "It must feel good to see more than the confined space of a musky cell."

They were transitioning now from the part of the building that held the regular prison population to the underground cells and dungeons which separated the population from more notorious inmates, including the former dictator herself.

"It does…" Kuvira appreciated the guard's attempts at small talk. Most of the time the journey was made in silence, with only the sounds of heavy boots against the ground accentuated in the dimness of the narrow corridors. The former captain caught something different from today's scenario. She was used to the mostly quiet guards behind her, a severe, wide chested veteran and a gaunt, younger one. The female guard was new to this duty. The metalbender had previously noticed her presence as one of the guards on patrol duty on the sector her cell was at, but she was a fairly recent addition to the team of guards in charge of keeping her monitored. She sounded young but was as tall as the older guard and seemed to be very fit judging by her broad shoulders and confident stride.

"Tomorrow we should have another nice day. It's finally summer," the guard replied.

"I hope so" the prisoner replied as all four approached the lift that would take them to the lowest level where Kuvira's cell was situated. The veteran guard pushed the lever to take them down, but the lift shook and refused to move down. He pressed again with the same result. The veteran cursed under his breath. The younger one looked confused, but the female guard kept her composure. At the third attempt, the older guard let out a frustrated sigh.

"There's no use. This thing's busted. We'll have to lower it manually. Zan, Irri, and I will escort the prisoner while you lower us. And you…" he pointed at Kuvira "don't try anything funny."

"Even if I wanted to, which I don't, I can't. Remember, platinum handcuffs, platinum lift." She lifted her bound wrists for emphasis.

The guard named Zan began the manual process of lowering the lift which made the ride downwards even more rackety and noisy. Kuvira let out a relieved exhale when they arrived at their destination in one piece. Between the slow pace, the wobbly rattle of the cage, and the dim illumination, she was impatient to get to the safety of her cell. The contents of the letter and her confused thoughts still burdened her mind. In fact, she had been so distracted that she failed to notice when the lift reached ground level. As the small group stepped out to make their way towards the cell, the veteran guard was suddenly hurled forcefully back, his body violently hitting the metal structure of the lift. The man slumped downwards, seemingly unconscious with a stream of blood slipping from his forehead. The next thing she saw was a very familiar flash, that of a bladed object approaching her at an alarming pace.

"This is for my brother!" the woman screamed as she directed the edge towards the prisoner's chest. Kuvira barely managed to avoid the blade but was pushed violently against a wall away from the lift by a sudden burst of water.

"You're a waterbender?" the former captain realized in alarm as she fell, hands and knees dropping hard to the ground. With the corner of her eye, she saw that the guard was preparing another attack. As she pulled back, she heard the impact of hardened icicles hitting the space where she had been seconds ago.

"You're not so much without your army or your bending, aren't you?" Irri taunted as she let out a new volley of weaponized ice. Kuvira managed to avoid the new attack but realized in horror that her balance was hampered by her manacled arms. She had to do something and fast before she ran out of space and strength.

"Irri isn't it? What did I do to you and your brother?" the former Earth Empire leader asked with a calm voice that concealed the inner panic that had invaded her. She was grateful that due to years of training, subconsciously combat instinct took over her panicky state and her feet stood firmly in a defensive stance.

"You know quite well what happened to people like us in your Empire. I escaped, but my brother… he bought me time while fighting one of your mecha soldiers. He never stood a chance…" Irri spewed, rage seeping every word, her face contorted into a rictus of anger.

Kuvira felt a chill run down her spine. This was personal, too personal, and if the guards did not arrive anytime soon, this girl was about to succeed in avenging his brother. The dim light made it harder for her to read the guard's movements in an attempt to anticipate the next attack. Deprived of her bending, she was left to use evasive maneuvers until either her or the guard tired. Or worse, that she could no longer muster to sustain a defense.

"I'm sorry for what happened to you and your brother, but now I'm here paying my debt to society."

"My brother's life can only be paid with another life, and that's yours!"

Irri let out another barrage of iced shrapnel against the metalbender, some shards succeeding in finding its intended target. Drops of blood soaked her prison uniform. A thin stream escaped from a cut near her left eye, which she struggled to wipe clean with her bound hands. Crimson fluid tinted the puddles of melted water on the ground as agitated, pained breathing echoed against the narrow corridor. Kuvira was leaning her weight precariously against a wall, barely on her feet as Irri prepared to launch another attack as water turned into ice at the motion of her hands.

Suddenly, Kuvira leaped, throwing her entire weight against her attacker with a tackle as both fell hard to the ground. The guard struggled underneath the prisoner who was straddling her, attempting desperately to hold Irri's neck down with her shackles. Irri was frantically trying to dislodge Kuvira from over her and freed one of her pinned hands, reaching for one of the ice spikes from the ground. Sharp, intense pain exploded from Kuvira's left shoulder where Irri had driven the ice blade. The metalbender felt her sight clouding but did not relent in pushing her platinum binds against the guard's neck. Her left arm began losing strength and the grip on her left hand became numb but when she feared all her strength had been drained, the guard ceased struggling underneath her until her body moved no more. Kuvira's right hand went to her pierced left shoulder, which pulsated in agony at the touch. Kuvira groaned, forcing her own body to distance herself from the attacker's limp corpse, leaving a bloody trail behind. Her weakened legs folded beneath her and she got a glimpse of the panicked guards approaching before her mind faded into black.

Almost three months had gone by after the assassination attempt. Nobody had perished although of the three injured, Kuvira had fared the worst with the nasty wound on her left shoulder and several cuts from the shrapnel in different parts of her body. The veteran guard suffered a concussion, but he was already back to work. Irri took more time to recuperate, narrowly escaping suffocation, and was now living in a cell of her own. Security had been tightened but not as a response from the prisoner's dangerous state but to prevent any who wished her ill to reach her.

The days after the attack had been pure agony for the former military leader. First, it was the real possibility that the injury would damage her shoulder and arm past the point of recovery, which filled her with genuine dread over the possibility that in the future she could no longer have proper use of her limb. Once her body began the slow, torturous process of healing, it was then her emotional state which frayed. This attacker might have not succeeded in killing her, but more fuel had been added to feed her nightmares with the torturous images of watching herself tied and injured at fate's fancy. Hadn't she been injured already, she would have returned to the vicious habit of venting her rage against the walls. The fact that she had been almost helpless to defend herself tortured her psyche. It was even worse than being deprived of liberty. Her life was at the mercy of the circumstances, and she was unable to do anything about it. The timid yet real attempts at a more positive approach to her situation that had been achieved until before the attack were replaced by sullen suspicion and worry, fearing threats that could arise from the least expected source. She hadn't been particularly talkative with her captors, but the brief social interactions with the guards ceased altogether. Kuvira now spent her days withdrawn, dreading the prospect of another threat that could spring from anywhere.

This was the scenario Korra encountered when she dropped by for a visit. Upon her return to Republic City, she had been informed of the attack and wanted to see the prisoner as soon as possible but was advised to allow the deposed leader some time to recover. She suspected Kuvira herself had requested this, probably her pride not tolerating to be again in presence of the Avatar in a broken, defenseless state. After a couple of weeks, the prisoner had been deemed recovered enough to restart the daily outings to the prison yard, and she was just returning from her latest hourly respite when she found a visitor waiting inside her cell.

"Hey… I hope you don't mind I stayed here while you were away." Korra watched as the guards removed Kuvira's handcuffs. The door was locked and the former leader stretched her arms and sat down on her bed, her expression neutral.

"How's your arm? I was told the injury went deep and that you were unconscious for a couple of days from the blood loss,

"Korra queried, concerned as she observed the sliver of white wrappings underneath Kuvira's prison garb.

"Arm's doing better. The area is still sore but taking into account what happened, I consider myself lucky I can still use it."

The Avatar listened intently, noticing Kuvira's reserved, sullen demeanor.

"I'm glad to see you're recovering. So you're back to visiting the prison yard. The fresh air should help you get better too."

The metalbender nodded in affirmative almost absentmindedly. Korra rose from the chair and approached her.

"May I?" she said, pointing at the opposite side of the bed.

"Suit yourself."

The Avatar sat down. "Kuvira, I think I have an idea of how you feel right now."

"You do?" the deposed leader replied with derision. "So you know about how it feels to be stuck here pretty much helpless, judged every day for what you did, not that it makes a difference because I do that to myself all the time. Or is it that you know what's not being able to rest because the moment you fall asleep, the accusing voices return. Now I've added a couple of angry waterbenders to my nightmare selection who delight in hunting me. But do you know what the worst is? The worst is that they have every right in the world to want me dead! These people…my enemies, even Su, Baatar, and her family… and you!"

Korra replied calmly. "If I wanted you dead, would I be here now?"

Green eyes were shimmering now. "I just don't know what to do…I understand there are things that can't be forgotten, much less forgiven but do I have to live every day for the rest of my life convincing everyone that I wish I wouldn't have done some things?" The metalbender's voice was breaking now.

Korra stood up and began walking around the small cell, keeping her gaze over the prisoner.

"Yeah, pretty much… You'll be constantly judged by what you failed to do and what you didn't do right. But you have no choice but to learn from it and move on. You can only change who you are today."

Kuvira brought her hands to her face, struggling in vain to keep tears from escaping. Korra was standing right in front of the metalbender now. "When I said I understood how you felt right now it's because I've been like this, helpless. I felt exactly like that when you beat me in front of your whole army."

The memory made the former captain's head turn sharply towards the Avatar. "I didn't realize…" she stammered. For the Great Uniter, defeating Korra that day was evidence of her enemy's weakness. With the benefit of hindsight, she could understand now that Korra was not only fighting her, but she was also fighting her own demons at the same time. Knowing what the Avatar could do now, she realized how foolish and deluded by power she had been in her challenge. If she had wanted to, Korra could have ended her life right then and there effortlessly. And now the same woman she had beaten and humiliated so soundly was in her prison cell but not gloating over her defeat and failure, but instead helping her. It was something that surpassed mercy or forgiveness, something Kuvira couldn't even fathom understanding, and it made her feel small and repentant and ashamed and grateful, all at the same time.

"I'm sorry for what I did…" Kuvira offered apologetically, her voice low and slightly unsteady. She couldn't dare to look at Korra's eyes now.

The Avatar took a knee, so now she was leveled with the deposed leader. "I accept your apology. What you did hurt me when I was still struggling to become whole once again, but it was a turning point for me. That feeling of helplessness and weakness just made me more determined to look for a way to get better. I didn't know it at the moment, but I needed to reach bottom before I could get back up and face head on what was holding me back. I thought it was the poison, but it was more complicated than that. When I did, I got better, not only physically but emotionally as well. The person who I was before wouldn't have been able to deal with what was to come. The fact that I can be here sharing this with you is because of the lessons I've learned after being literally beaten and broken down. Through my own suffering, I'm in a position that I can empathize with yours. I don't claim that it is a good thing to go through with this. Every day I've wished none of what was done to me happened, but the fact is that it did happen. Who I am today is the result of the struggle I had to overcome."

Kuvira realized her hands were trembling, and she balled them into fists over her knees.

"Of all the fights I've had, of all the battles I faced… even when fighting against you, I'd never felt fear the way I felt it when that guard almost killed me because I couldn't fight back. I'd barely managed to defend myself and it almost cost me a limb. The other moment I've felt this dread was when the Spirit Cannon pointed at me, but even then I'd almost welcomed it."

The verbalized admission stunned both Korra and Kuvira herself. The metalbender realized that the instant her giant mecha had been destroyed; she was already past sanity and understood she would not be able to prevail in her original intent. Instead, a nihilistic instinct took over which propelled her to engage in the utter folly of operating the weapon directly, which only resulted in more wanton destruction. She would have obliterated the city from the face of the Earth if it hadn't been by her own weapon turning against her, and for a few instants, she didn't care anymore. It would be over for her and for everyone else and it wouldn't have mattered anymore. Perhaps death would spare her the misery of feeling abandoned and helpless for once and for all.

"I'm always fighting because I can't stand feeling helpless. Nothing has changed since I was the little girl who was left behind." The dark-haired woman directed a dejected glance towards Korra who in turn, offered in return a reassuring smile.

"It has. Only in recognizing and admitting what is hurting you, you can then move on to get better and it seems you've done just that."

The prisoner nodded, her face slowly releasing the tension that spoke of the tormented state she had been struggling with. Korra caught the change with a sense of relief. This brush with death had faced Kuvira with her own weakness and mortality. Compounded with her defeat, the isolation and the burden of the judgement of the world, she had now truly hit bottom. Now the only option was to get better or to wallow in misery, but the Avatar sensed that her former enemy's determination and fighting spirit would now drive her towards the goal of getting better. Perhaps because they were alike.

Kuvira winced and instinctively brought her right hand over her left shoulder. The wound would throb occasionally, the toll of the injury over an exhausted body. Korra noticed the movement and made the gesture to get closer.

"You want me to check your wound?" she offered with concern in her voice. The former leader managed to reply with a small, grateful smile.

"That won't be necessary, but I can take you on the other offer if you have the time."

Korra stared at the metalbender somewhat confused.

"What you said about meditation some time ago. I think I should get serious about it if I want to overcome what's bothering me."

The Avatar smiled. "Let's get started then."

About an hour later, a more calmed Kuvira was completing the first round of meditating instruction. The exercise had allowed her to clear her mind and soothe her spirit. She felt strangely refreshed.

"Try to make it a daily habit," Korra instructed. "If it helped an impatient dork like me, it'll probably help you too."

"Guess it doesn't hurt to try" the former leader replied as she untangled her legs from the cross-legged position and stood up. The Avatar was already standing up and was now leaning against a wall.

"Korra…" Kuvira approached tentatively, "may I ask a personal question?" Korra stared at her intrigued.

"Sure…don't know if I'll be able to answer it but go ahead."

"How you've been holding up, you know since… well, since the subject you wrote me about."

Korra was definitely not expecting this question based on the bewilderment and the discomfort that flashed over her face. The metalbender upon noticing the reaction immediately regretted asking. "Never mind. Sorry I brought that up."

"It's okay. I was the one who told you. It is still a difficult subject for me, but I really appreciate your concern."

"The day I read your letter was the same day I was attacked. I had planned to write to you when…" her body reacted in instinct to protect her battered side.

"It's okay. You know what? Guess you saved yourself that stamp."

Kuvira despite the rather serious subject couldn't help but chuckle at that. The Avatar, wanting to leave the melancholy mood behind, joined in, adding her laughter to Kuvira's.

"I must get going now." The Avatar closed in on the former captain and was now standing in front of her. "Next time I drop by I should be bringing the latest news regarding your case. I've heard that advisors from the other nations are being requested for counsel, which means my presence will be required too."

"That should be interesting," Kuvira commented, her attention piqued by the subject.

Korra grimaced, not very amused by the prospect of enduring long hours of listening to people argue and philosophize. "I'd rather not deal with the politics side of keeping balance, but I guess it comes with the territory and it can't be avoided. Anyway, continue with what you've learned today until the next lesson. Oh, and another thing."

"Uhuh?"

"Sometimes to feel better, you just need someone to comfort you" and adding nothing else, Korra hugged her former enemy who stood at her wits' end for a few moments with her arms at her sides.

"Go ahead…" the short-haired woman encouraged the metalbender until she returned the gesture hesitantly, remembering how pleasant and comforting it had been when she had found herself in her embrace while they slept. Moments later, Korra pulled back and couldn't help but smile at the embarrassed face Kuvira displayed at that moment.

"I'm a hugger, so you better get used to that if we're going to remain on friendly terms."

"Okay…" the former leader managed to mumble.

With a wave, Korra left the cell, and soon Kuvira was by herself again. As she waited for the afternoon meal, the once Great Uniter had the certainty that today marked a beginning in her life that would allow her to leave uncertainty and fears behind. For the first time in months, Kuvira felt ready to follow the path that was being laid up in front of her.