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ATP
Jon would be a good king, I agree. The question is whether they should try to gain the throne. Three pretenders have already fought for it. They made their alliances. And they are really interested in being king. But what does the south mean to Jon?
The Starks can't forget that there is a huge wildlings army in their back either. (Or the Others' army if Mance said the truth.)
Of mothers
Catelyn finds herself watching Jon for days. She is watching and wondering which of his features he inherited from his Targaryen ancestors. His nose? His jaw? Whether his eyes are truly grey – or is there a shade of purple in them in the proper light?
This is foolishness, she knows. Jon is the same he has always been. Still… she cannot help it.
Perhaps, Jon has also noticed, but if so, he does not say a word about it.
Catelyn wants to tell him the true story of his birth, she has wanted since she spoke with Lord Howland. After all, he has more right to know than anyone.
And one moment is just as good as any other, she decides.
An afternoon Jon brings some ancient scrolls about the wildlings to her. Maester Luwin sends them for her request and Jon explains, quoting the old man, why he chose these works.
"Do you still think of her, your mother?" Catelyn cuts in.
Surprised, Jon remains silent for a while. "Sometimes," he admits. "But for years now I…" Suddenly, he turns his gaze away and does not finish the sentence.
Catelyn, however, knows what he wants to say and she would like to hear but maybe she is not ready for it. Just like Jon is not ready to say it.
"Why do you ask?" They have never talked about his mother.
"What if I know who she was?"
He raises his eyebrows.
"How? You didn't know before."
Looking for words, Catelyn does not reply immediately, and he realizes something.
"Who she was." Jon glances at her questioningly, then, he shakes his head. "I thought she was dead already." A moment later, he asks, "Did she die when I was born?"
"It happens many times."
Jon nods – he knows that – and takes a deep breath.
"What was her name?"
"Lyanna."
He gives her a small smile.
"Like my aunt."
"No. Not like her."
Jon looks confused. They are sitting side by side on a bench, Catelyn draws closer to him and puts her hand on his arm.
"Jon, your mother was Lyanna Stark. Which means your father is…"
"Rhaegar."
Apparently, all of the tales and songs about the Rebellion are running through his mind. He pales, the dread written on his face.
"I started it the wrong way," Catelyn says hurriedly. "Please, let me tell you what Lord Reed told me."
"It feels strange," Jon confesses. "Very strange. And overwhelming."
It is. Catelyn has her own experience about it.
"What do you want to do now?" She asks, although she is rather sure what Jon's answer will be.
"Guarding this secret. Marrying Jeyne," he declares. "Staying who I was an hour ago. It's good to know all of that though."
Catelyn nods but she must warn him. "Some would say you could be more, you should be." People, who would try to take advantage of him.
She does not have to say the words. Jon understands it. Of course, he does.
"They would try to take advantage of me, founding on obsolete rights." He shrugs. "But I have nothing to do with the south. And they have king already, more than enough."
True. It is also true that Jon belongs here, to the Starks.
From Winterfell, King's Landing, the iron throne… all of it seems no more than a distant dream. Dream of others.
"No one needs to know," she reassures him.
"No one will."
Save for Jeyne. Save for Robb. With them, he will share it, undoubtedly.
Amused, Catelyn smiles. It is much easier to keep a secret when you do not know you are doing it. Maybe, Ned was right about that.
Unsteadily, Jon stands up.
"I need… a walk, I think."
Catelyn bows her head, letting him go.
