Hello, all. I hope you are doing well and enjoying the story. For this chapter I find an author's note necessary.

This chapter contains discussion of rape. Please consider this a trigger warning if it is needed, and I apologize in advance for any discomfort caused. While rape will continue to be referenced at times throughout the story as a potential danger to women, I'll note now that in no way will this story contain abuse or sexual assault aside from said discussions, and I endeavor to make a more lighthearted reading experience in the future. Thank you for reading.

On a lighter note, am I the only one to imagine some of the bachelors in IkeSen as disaster bis (or disaster gays, what have you)? No, yes? Ahaha...

*Ieyasu Tokugawa*

A banquet. On the very night definitive news of war spread through Azuchi, reaching the ears of every person from the strongest soldier to the most naïve child, Nobunaga held a banquet. Of course I understood that the purpose was for it to galvanize the troops, but that didn't make it any less insufferable. It certainly wasn't helpful to have Mitsunari prattling in my ear.

"Why don't you come on over and pour for me, Botan my dear?"

I allowed my attention to be drawn by Mitsuhide's voice from across the table only because he was a hair's breadth more tolerable than Mitsunari. Botan knelt next to the sly fox, muttering incomprehensibly to himself as he nonetheless obeyed. So what, he had already become Mitsuhide's lackey? Not that it was any of my business or that I intended to pry, but it made me wonder what kind of information Mitsuhide had to make Botan so compliant. No self-respecting person would serve him without some blackmail in the mix. It was no longer so suspicious since Mitsuhide had been cleared of being the culprit behind the assassination attempt on Nobunaga, but still.

I'd figured out the cause of the emotion that was almost begrudging curiosity starting to wriggle inside me. Something was off about Botan. Not that this entire situation wasn't ludicrous, but there remained something I couldn't quite understand. But I didn't even know what it was to try to figure it out, so I had to assume I was only suspicious and on edge because of the budding war in our midst.

"What are you staring at, Lord Ieyasu?"

Mitsunari startled me, and I detested him even more for it because his voice was loud enough to get other people to look. "I'm not staring at anything."

"Is it the fish? Would you like seconds?"

"Help yourself!" Masamune declared. "I cooked everything here to be eaten!"

"Everything?" Botan piped up. "You made everything here? That's impressive."

"Of course. Here. You'll get used to eating well." Masamune laughed. "Come on and sit with me instead of Mitsuhide. He'll have you serve him all night if you let him."

The ronin tried not to look too relieved and failed. "Okay." Botan slipped to the other side of the table, squeezing in next to me too close for comfort. His shoulder was somewhat bony as it poked into my arm. He was a bit short, though not much shorter than I was. Not that I was all that short.

Masamune pushed dish after dish in front of the boy. "You're too small. Time to bulk up. Keep eating!" What was he now, Botan's mother? He and Hideyoshi could be surprisingly similar on rare occurrences.

"Okay, okay! I'm doing it!" Botan grinned, although it was clear he was trying not to. I found myself looking at his teeth again. On a woman or a child, that kind of flaw might be considered cute.

"I'll admit that I wasn't so fond of having to watch you attack Lord Nobunaga," Hideyoshi interjected. "But everything has worked out for the best, I think."

"It was less attacking from my point of view than just trying not to die," Botan replied with a laugh. "But I understand why he did it. He must love Mai very much."

"She challenges him, for better or worse. Regardless, it's always amusing," Mitsuhide purred.

"On that note, we don't have to worry about you getting killed for trying to sleep with her," Masamune said bluntly and with amusement. "Doesn't that make you feel better? You just have to make sure not to get killed by our enemies."

"It feels wonderful," Botan muttered.

"I picked you to hire in part because I was aware of your reluctance in terms of courtship," Hideyoshi said carefully. "But it never occurred to me that it was because you weren't attracted to women whatsoever."

"Are you not attracted to them at all? Not even a bit?' Masamune asked, peering down at Botan curiously.

The newcomer smiled. "Nervous I might set my sights on you?"

"Hah! I hadn't even considered that. But I can't imagine it. Have you ever seen a woman's body? It's one of the greatest wonders of this world. What's attractive about a man's body?"

Botan's cheeks reddened. He was just like a kid, as Masamune had called him, to be so embarrassed and immature in regards to this subject. "Well…" He frowned. "I don't know what to tell you, honestly. I'm inexperienced. I thought warlords would be too busy for such dalliances too, but… I suppose not."

"There's always time for a quick rendezvous," Masamune laughed.

"If that's what you want, I suppose. I hadn't thought about that." Botan's frown deepened as he seemed to start retreating into thought.

"Ah. You're one of those who wants the whole thing to be about love, aren't you? I respect it, I suppose, but I could teach you a lot about how to enjoy life."

Wait. Was Masamune… flirting?

"I really don't care!" Botan yelled. He tucked hair behind his ear before shaking his head and crossing his arms.

"I'm just joking with you, kid." Masamune patted Botan's back.

"How drunk are you?" I muttered. "Botan, slap him if you have to. Sooner rather than later."

The boy laughed nervously and pressed to my side a bit. I resisted the urge to shove him away, as Masamune was just as likely to shove him back and make the invasion into my personal space even worse.

"It's nice to see everyone becoming such good friends and being able to talk so honestly," Mitsunari commented with a saccharine smile.

"Yes, it's perfectly lovely," Mitsuhide agreed. He looked far too amused by the whole situation. Masamune was definitely drunk and hitting on the new guy, Hideyoshi looked like he was ready to drag Masamune out by the throat, and Mitsunari was perfectly content to keep sitting there being an idiot. All in all, a typical night. "Botan, dear." Mitsuhide beckoned him over by curling his finger. "Let's take a walk."

"Yes." Botan jumped to his feet and followed Mitsuhide outside.

""Stop it, Masamune!" Hideyoshi hissed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"What?" Masamune briefly feigned innocence but was laughing at Hideyoshi within seconds. "It's not like I'm trying to be cruel and tease the boy."

"You're not? Because that seems like exactly what you're doing."

"He's pretty. Since he's already said he's fine with men, why not? It won't hurt me to try."

Pretty. That's what was strange about Botan. He was pretty, approaching the realm of feminine. With some work, he could pass for a woman. Still, he wasn't the only male in the world that looked like this. It was just that more of these androgynous men turned to trades like kabuki theater or prostitution as opposed to becoming ronin. Most importantly, however, I wasn't interested in Masamune's personal life in this way at all. Time to leave and pretend that this was all just a terrible dream.

"Since when have you been interested in men?" Hideyoshi asked.

"Since I thought about it and it sounded fun enough."

"I think it's a great idea for Masamune to be friends with Botan. We should all do the same," Mitusnari suggested.

"No, no we shouldn't," I muttered. Of course, it didn't matter what any of them did in their spare time. I just wasn't particularly interested in hearing about it. Besides... Sex, love, any such attachment, they were all nothing more than a waste of time when all people were really good for was using one another.

*Sumire "Botan" Shinanoki*

"What is it now?" I asked as Mitsuhide sat down after leading us to a deserted hall with a view of the gardens.

"Don't pretend you're not grateful that I saved you."

I kept stubbornly silent for a few moments as the night breeze caressed my cheeks and lifted my hair from them. "I can handle myself. It's not the first time I've received an unwanted advance."

"Yes, yes, certainly. I have something I would like you to do for me." He paused. "Let us make a deal. You will do three major favors for me. Anything I ask, no matter what the trial, and then your general servitude will expire. If you agree, your secret will be safe. I'll even take steps to make sure you aren't discovered."

As if I had a choice or any real leverage to negotiate with him. "Agreed."

"No hesitation. I appreciate your good sense."

"Sure you do. What is it? Your first favor is coming now, right?'

"What a prophet you are."

"Please just get to the details and stop teasing me."

"Oh, but you're so quickly becoming my second-favorite person to tease."

"Second? How generous of you."

"It's nothing but a small bit of reconnaissance. There's a rat hanging around in Azuchi. I'd like for you to confirm my suspicions about him, since you and Mai are going into town tomorrow regardless. Think of it as a pleasant detour."

"How did you know we were going into town?"

"I know most things that go on in this castle."

"That's not unsettling at all."

"You'll find a young man in red clothes selling women's accessories in the market. I want you to find out who he is, exactly."

"And what makes you think he'll trust me, an armed man in his eyes, enough for me to get information from him?"

Mitsuhide grinned. "Because he won't see a male ronin. He'll see an innocent woman scared of the coming war."

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. "No. No. Additionally, no." I was doomed. Oh, I was so clearly doomed. "They'll find me out! Dressing as a woman is like asking to be discovered!"

"Please lower your voice, dear."

I glared at him. "Are you trying to get me killed?"

"Which do you think is more suspicious, a man who is afraid of the feminine or a man who is willing to embrace the feminine for the sake of duty?"

"Well I…" I'd never thought about it like that. "If you put it that way, then…"

"You're afraid of being seen as womanly when it's impossible for you not come across as feminine. It would behoove you more to embrace it, joke about it if you have to. Fear stands out more than anything else."

"Okay, I get what you're saying…" And of course he was insufferably correct. "Can I ask you for some advice?"

"Feel free."

"What should I do about Masamune? I mean… he's not the type to… force me, is he?"

"Masamune is many things. Callous, battle-hungry, violent. But he's no monster." Mitsuhide paused. "Have you?"

"Have I what?" My body felt cold all of a sudden.

"Been forced before."

I watched the roses of the garden sway in the wind. "My mother taught me that this world is cruel. She also said that beautiful things can come out of something cruel. So, no, I myself have never been forced, though in the start there were a few times where I was scared." I paused to breathe as I felt my composure cracking. "I never met my father, Mitsuhide. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do." This line of questioning was possibly the first time he had spoken to me without laughter in his voice.

"Anyone can be cruel. But I suppose I'm biased to thinking that men can especially be so. I'm scared of this world. That's why I decided to disguise myself as a man, and why my mother advised that, I think." I wanted to hold someone, for someone to hold me in that moment. I wanted to be comforted, but Mitsuhide certainly wasn't the right person to go to for that. "People become more violent in wartime. Women are property, things to be used. There's no… love, anywhere." I shifted to be sitting farther away from Mitsuhide. "Never mind. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore."

"What are you fighting for, Botan?"

I didn't want to be called Botan when I was revealing one of the deepest parts of myself. I wanted to hear my real name from someone's lips, I wanted to cry on a supportive shoulder.

"Botan." Mitushide's voice shocked me back to reality. "My question still stands."

"Survival. I also want to protect Mai. As a woman, she doesn't deserve to be caught in her lover's war." Well that, and… "My village, Mitsuhide." I'd proven myself in combat to Nobunaga Oda himself. Kind of. That earned me a mention of what had happened, at least. "Six years ago, men claiming to be Oda soldiers took my home away from me. I barely believed that before, but… Now, being here, I just know it's not true. But who was it? I want to know, but up until now it's been enough to make it day by day. With war coming, I don't think I'll find the answers. But I really would like to know."

"Why? What will it do for you to know?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe I'll be able to believe in justice again." I laughed hollowly. "But… None of this matters right now."

"I'll look into it for you. There must be word around on an attack at that time. Someone somewhere knows something. That's always the case."

"What?" Mitushide offering to do something generous and quite possibly fruitless? "What's the catch?"

"You do three more favors for me."

"So I'll owe you five after I do what you just mentioned in the market tomorrow?"

"Yes. You're very good at counting."

"Ha. Ha." I shook my head. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Just listen. I'm going to give you a few tips on gathering information."

"Okay." He took me through what questions to ask, what was the best way to act, whatnot. When he was finished and I confirmed that I understood, we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I've left some supplies in your room. I think they will suit you."

"I'm sure," I sighed, feeling exhausted now. I hadn't come here intending to spill my past to Mitsuhide. It was far too obvious that I wanted comfort. "I'll be going. I should check on Mai. I'll report to you when I get back tomorrow."

"Botan."

I stiffened reflexively. "What now?"

"I'm looking forward to seeing you all dressed up." He smirked. "Do your best."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away. "Goodnight, Mitsuhide." We weren't exactly friends, but he was a person who I didn't have to keep quite as many secrets from. That was enough.

As I was getting dressed for Mitsuhide's mission the following afternoon, Mai squealed to me from her own room. "I can't believe this!"

"Neither can I," I groaned. Of course I had told her about my mission, which forced us to take a detour on what had been meant to be a fairly relaxing trip to town.

"Is it bad that I'm excited? It is, isn't it."

"One of us should feel something nice," I said under my breath. Mitsuhide had dropped off a simple white kimono with a pink floral pattern and sandals with short socks in my room at some point the day before. A green shawl let me hide my chest, which I kept bound still. He'd also been smart enough to leave a necklace that covered the necessary part of my throat there. Only now did it occur to me how frustrating it was that he could afford to be so presumptuous. Of course he'd known I would agree to his request for today. "I'm ready. Let's go." I combed my fingers through my hair as I stepped into the hallway to meet Mai. It had been a long time since I'd worn it down.

"You look like a girl! Honestly!" She'd done light makeup before I changed and seemed quite proud of herself.

"That's the goal." It still felt wrong. I actually was a woman, but after so long disguising myself it was scary to not hide behind a masculine veneer.

"Oh, but your voice is still a little off. Not that it's bad, but… It's a male voice."

I cleared my throat. "Okay. Listen to this. Does this sound better?" My real voice. A bit deeper than a usual girl's, maybe, whatever usual was, but still a good deal higher than my forced male tone.

"If I didn't know you, I'd think you were a girl."

"We should go, then." As we walked down the halls, I heard whistling from behind us.

"Looking good, lass and lass." Masamune winked at me. It would have perhaps comical what with his other eye covered, since for all I knew he might have just been blinking, but he managed to make it look roguishly charming. Still, I couldn't help but be a bit uncomfortable around him.

"Live it up. Go ahead," I sighed. Ieyasu was at his side, scrutinizing me with nothing revealed in his expression. Would that I could be so stone-faced.

"Good luck on your mission, yeah?" Masamune smiled encouragingly. It was just as Mitsuhide had assured me. I didn't get the sense that he was a bad person.

"Er, yes." I dipped my head and turned away, then peeked at Ieyasu again. "Ieyasu. I have a request."

His eyes widened for a second before his expression sunk back into neutrality. "What?"

"Please teach me more about medicine."

"Why should I?"

"Protecting Lady Mai is my duty. Protection can fall under not only combat but knowledge of medicine as well. That way, if I fail in one category, I can still protect her by succeeding in the other."

"Hm…" He crossed his arms, thoughts clearly battling.

"The lass makes a convincing argument, you've got to admit," Masamune chimed in.

"I'm not a 'lass'!" I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks go hot in embarrassment and indignation.

"But you make such a cute one," he laughed.

"Fine!" Ieyasu barked loudly. "I'll teach you. But I'll expect every ounce of your discipline. Any less and you're on your own. Understand?"

"Yes." Once again, he'd saved me inadvertently from a conversation I didn't want to have just by being his cantankerous self. I smiled at him, conveying an appreciation I knew he wouldn't accept.

"You're insufferable," he muttered before turning away.

"Take care, lass!" Masamune threw over his shoulder as he followed his companion.

"They're…" I sighed.

"Insane," Mai supplied. "But I've actually never seen Ieyasu like that with anyone."

"Hm?"

"I don't know. He doesn't know what to do with you at all. It's almost refreshing to watch him so off balance. He was surprised by me being even mildly sassy at first, but now that he's used to it he just brushes me off. Not that he hates me, but he's not exactly affectionate either."

"I see." He did seem like the least likely of the warlords to let someone get closer, though they were all bound to have their own stories. "Erm, Mai?" I didn't speak again until we had crossed the threshold of the castle and were nearing market streets. I could smell tantalizing sweet and savory aromas, hear both good-natured and angered haggling between merchants and customers.

"Yeah?" Mai smiled at the sights that were doubtless familiar and comforting to her.

"I was wondering. What do you think of people who keep large secrets from the people they care about?"

She glanced at me before returning her gaze to what was in front of her. "I think it depends on the reason. Why?"

"I was wondering."

"Are you hiding something?"

"Yes. And I'm only telling you this because I sincerely want to protect you. I want to be honest, because for reasons of my own I really do care about you, even if it must seem very forward and too fast for me to say it. But if I have my way this secret will always be between us." She was Nobunaga's woman, after all. Not the first person I'd trust with the truth of my gender. Mitsuhide knowing was already too much. I felt a strong need to flee from Azuchi and its people. Hopefully this would be a quick war.

"I won't claim to understand you, and I can't promise that whatever it is holding you back won't bother me. But, as long as you're here and we're kind to each other, both fighting for the things we care for, I won't have a problem," Mai stated firmly before turning a warm smile on me. It was easy to see how the devil-king had fallen for her. "Is that enough for now?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. She was kind. Far kinder than I deserved. Something told me that she wouldn't hold my secret against me, but after hiding myself for so long it wasn't so simple to go around sharing. Never mind the humiliation of being so effortlessly revealed by Mitsuhide. I didn't have the confidence not to become more fearful if more people knew.

"That's him… The one Mitsuhide mentioned," I finally said. "Mai, stay close but let me talk to him alone. Please," I added apologetically. A young man with brown hair and red clothes, looking bored and uncomfortable while sitting before his stand. I took a breath, tucked hair behind my ear, and knelt before him.

"I haven't seen you around," I commented innocently. "Then again, I'm a bit new here myself. What brought you to Azuchi?"

"Merchants follow where the business goes," the man said gruffly.

Or, the more likely reason if Mitsuhide's intuition was correct, he had come to spy as the whispers of war had become louder. "Lord Nobunaga's lands are becoming vaster and more prosperous. It's not surprising you found yourself drawn to this area. Isn't Azuchi lovely?"

"It's as nice as any place."

"Um…" I lowered my voice, sounding fearful and weak. "Do you… carry a sword?"

His eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. "Why do you ask?"

"Didn't you hear? War is coming. With Shingen Takeda and Kenshin Uesugi. Can you believe it?" I shuddered. "Two monsters back from the dead."

The merchant nodded, though he certainly didn't look sympathetic to my supposed fear. "War is awful, to be sure."

I poked at a few accessories, admittedly attracted to a few of them. "I'm sorry to be gushing like this. And it's not like I don't have confidence in Lord Nobunaga's army. They'll surely crush anyone who tries to harm us. Especially cowards who pretended to be dead." I glanced over the boy covertly while pretending to still be perusing the items. His hands were clenched into fists. The night before, Mitsuhide had told me that physical quirks would tell me far more than a person's words would. Thinking of that, I noticed more. The boy's lips were slightly pursed, and his body wasn't relaxed at all. I didn't need him to say anything else. My taunts had revealed his sympathies to our enemies. That wasn't enough to declare him a spy for sure, but hopefully Mitsuhide would be happy enough with this much.

"Are you going to buy something? There's another customer waiting." The boy said sharply.

I looked over my shoulder and saw none other than Mai standing there, glaring down at me. I shouldn't have been surprised that she'd not stayed away as I'd requested, but I was. More surprising was her ire towards me.

"Are you okay, Yuki?" She asked.

So they knew each other? My guess was that Mitsuhide wasn't aware of that, and perhaps it would be better for Mai if it remained that way. But more importantly, she had called this man Yuki. A man in red with some amount of loyalty or at the very least sympathy to the Takeda-Uesugi alliance. A man named Yuki. So this was likely, perhaps obviously, Yukimura Sanada, another famed warrior thought to be dead along with his lord Shingen Takeda.

"I'm fine," Yuki clipped.

"I'll leave. Once again, I'm sorry. I just… needed to talk out my worries. I apologize." I bowed formally to the man before turning away. "… Mai?"

"I'll stay here." She didn't look at me as she bent before her apparent friend.

Great. Something else to worry about. The most pressing concern now was what, or how much, rather, to tell Mitsuhide. Seemed the princess's loyalties weren't exactly clear, if my suspicions were correct. Quite the job I'd gotten.