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ATP

They have their plans for the crossing.


Full of fears

Maester Aemon's face is shining. He waves Dany closer, so she pulls her chair to the bedside.

His left hand, the same he touched Drogon for the first time with, reaches for her as if he finds her the same sort of miracle.

Even now, he seems more of an illusion than something real. A fading memory from a better time.

Dany holds his hand and tightens her grasp.

"For this day, it has been worth living all these years," he says. "You are silent."

"I'm awed, uncle." Which is true.

"So am I. If that were all, we could keep sitting here in a pleasant silence. But I know all kinds of silence. And yours is different."

Dany does not reply.

"Through my life I have been guarding secrets of hundreds. I can take yours as well, if you wish."

Through her life Dany has been keeping secrets of her own from everyone. Secrets of the past and present she has learnt to share recently, but it meant a fight with herself every time. She felt dread and troubled and defenseless.

Secrets of the future, generally, are something she locks even from herself.

But at Aemon's request, she forces herself to think of it.

"Just a few days from now we will siege King's Landing."

Aemon smiles, believing he understands her.

"Are you afraid of the battle?"

"I'm afraid of the victory. Taking what I needed, what I wanted, always came easy for me, but ruling seems… complicated. I don't know how to do it right."

"Good."

He cannot see her raised eyebrows, the confusion and the astonishment in her features, so she has to ask.

"How would this be good?"

Aemon's smile widens. Her indignation amuses him.

"Those who believed they had all the answers were the worst rulers of our history."

"And those who had no answers were not rulers at all, only by name. They were weak. I cannot be one of them."

"Allowing others to dictate your every step is weakness but recognizing good advice and listening to it, is wisdom. And acting this way often demands courage, no little of it."

"It still seems complicated," Dany notes with a slight smile, although, her heart is a bit lighter than before.

"It is, I'm sure." Aemon nods. "And if you follow that route, most of the time, it will prove to be rather a sacrifice than a blessing. So it's important that neither as the Queen, nor as Daenerys, you must not choose solitude, bearing all the burden. Do you have people you can trust?"

There are people – like the Unsullied or the Dothraki or Missandei – who would do whatever she prays them for. They believe in her judgement, in her decisions, in… Dany herself. They worship her.

They would have never questioned or resisted her or disagreed.

Not even when they should.

Not even on behalf of Dany.

Trust – the kind Aemon asked her about – is something more. Something much more disturbing and uncomfortable and dangerous.

And, just like everything depending on people, is so delicate.

Still, so precious.

The answer for his uncle is the most terrifying and the most beautiful at the same time of her secrets.

"I have."