Well, I'm on time tonight, even if it is a little late in the day. We're moving ahead a little bit into the winter of the story, adding a few new characters and hopefully adding to the story as it progresses.
This chapter is split between Lilith and Athelstan, in order to get both their perspectives going in. I hope you like it as much as I do.
I also have a small announcement, but at the bottom.
Read on!
Comfort
The first time Lagertha showed Lilith and Gyda her growing belly, winter had already begun to set in over the entire town. The hearth burned brighter every day, and more people began congregating in the Great Hall during the day to stay warm. Sometimes, there were even people who slept there. It didn't seem to bother Lagertha or Ragnar, or Athelstan for that matter, since they didn't sleep in the Great Hall. Lilith was still uneasy about being around so many people, but Lagertha always assured her it was safe.
"This is simply the way it is," she said as gently as she ever did. "When Earl Haraldson was here, he would have done the same. As a people, we should all be able to rely on one another. Is that not how it was where you came from?"
Lilith shook her head. "No," she sighed. "By the time I was ten, only a few of the monks in the monastery could tolerate being around me. I mostly had to stay with Athelstan, and even then, it was never at night. After he found out what Father Cuthbert had done, he never left my side. And then we came here."
Lagertha sighed with her, cupping her cheek and rubbing it gently. "And now you are home," she said and smiled. "You both are. With us. And you always will be, my daughter. Hmm?"
Lilith smiled. "Yes, Mother."
The same surprise that had been on Ragnar's face just a few weeks earlier appeared on Lagertha's face, and she wrapped her arms around Lilith tighter than she ever had. "I was wondering when you would give me the gift of calling me that after you spoke to Ragnar," she gushed and kissed Lilith's head lightly. "And now Gyda and Bjorn truly have a sister they love and care for as only brothers and sisters can. And I know you will love this child as much as you love them."
She leaned back with a bright smile on her face, laying her hand over her belly and prompting Lilith to do the same.
"It is amazing that you have a baby growing inside you," Lilith marveled. "Gyda once said that a woman's body was the only one that could do it, but she never said how it came to be. How does it happen?"
Lagertha laughed softly. "Did Athelstan never tell you?" she teased.
"No, of course not. He only knew what he did because of his own mother and his older sister. And I knew why it happened before he did. He has always tried to protect me." Lilith paused and looked up at Lagertha. "How does it happen?"
"Well," she said and sighed, "the first thing you must know is that a child is a gift from the gods. So you mustn't squander it. And you are still so new to being a woman. The closer you are to being married to a man you love, the more you will learn about such things. But I will tell you that when a man and a woman love each other very much, when they join together as husband and wife and promise themselves to each other, the gods bless them with a child. And it is a beautiful and amazing love that I know the gods will bless you with when the time is right. It is the same love I have with Ragnar."
Lilith eased her hand over Lagertha's belly. "When will the baby come?" she asked softly.
"A baby takes nine full moons to come, and I believe this child will be born by the time the summer flowers are in bloom. Not an easy time to have a child, but it is what the gods have decided. That means that you and Gyda will have a new brother by the time Ragnar comes back from his raids in the West if he still chooses to do so. That also means that soon, we will all have new responsibilities and duties to perform here and in town. I'm sure Athelstan has already told you how different everything has become."
"He did," Lilith nodded. "And so far, he has been right. Just like always."
Lagertha laughed again, tucking a lock of Lilith's hair behind her ear and stroking her hair. "Well, you know, he has proven himself to be very wise. I think we will all benefit from his presence in the future. Now, it is nearly time for supper. Go and find Gyda, and I will have something important for you both before you take your reading lessons with Athelstan."
Hesitating just a little, Lilith stood from the bench by the hearth, leaving Lagertha slowly to do as she had been told.
In the last several weeks, since learning from Elisef for the first time, Lilith and Gyda had begun helping in the kitchens a little more. The older woman was a patient teacher, just as Athelstan had been to Lilith when she had been little, and she always gave them a good portion of food at midday. It was more than any of the monks at the monastery had done, save the one who had raised her. And sometimes, at the end of their lessons, which were only every few days anyway, Leif would come in from training and accompany them back to the Great Hall for supper.
Lilith liked Leif. He was funny and smart, and he was braver than nearly anyone else in Kattegat. He was also stronger than anyone she knew, even Athelstan, and he never shied away from making sure the men in town knew not to mess with Ragnar's two young daughters. In a way, he was like big brother to her, even joking with her when they sat around the hearth with everyone else after supper.
Lilith found Gyda where she usually did before supper, in the stables where the male servants tended to the horses and goats. Her sister had already begun watching men, especially ones she didn't know, and honestly, it was becoming tiresome. All Lilith wanted was to do her chores and help with supper so she could sit down with Athelstan and read. But she was obligated to keep her Little Sister out of trouble.
The side door to the stables was cracked open, allowing only a slip of light inside, and Lilith stepped inside as discreetly as she could, finding her sister in the corner with her face pressed to the wood that overlooked the main floor of the building. "Gyda!" she hissed.
Her sister waved her off just a short second before waving her forward, and Lilith followed her request, stepping up beside Gyda to see what she was seeing.
Though the stables were usually filled to the brim with male servants when it was time to feed and clean the animals, Gyda had already seemed to have latched onto a specific one, who along with his friend didn't appear to be much older than she or Lilith were. Of course they had to be working with no tunics on their backs, and one had long brown hair that he pulled back with a series of braids. The other had his dark hairer shaved like Bjorn's hair so the back of his head was exposed. They both glistened in the low light of the stables, with their muscles tensing as they went about in their duties.
"Mother's waiting for us," Lilith whispered to Gyda, who promptly pressed her finger to her lips.
After another minute, Gyda got on her toes and looked down inside the stall they were just above. Lilith followed her. Inside the stall, two people, a man and a woman lay together very closely, moving and kissing. Lilith didn't know what they were doing, despite living in a house with Ragnar and Lagertha, and when Gyda noticed, she laughed softly.
"They're having sex, Lili," she whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible. "It is what people do when they are in love. Surely, you've heard mother and father in the long house at night."
Lilith blushed without meaning to, and Gyda took her hand to pull her closer. They looked over the edge again, watching the man and woman. Lilith had heard these sounds before, and yes, it had come from Lagertha and Ragnar's rooms. But this was completely different. And this time, she could hear the man and woman speaking together.
"We lucked out really that Earl Bjarni didn't last very long," the man grunted as he moved against the woman with a steady rhythm. "Your mother doesn't waste time on those things at all."
Lilith looked a little closer at the couple, recognizing the man's face from the kitchens. Ingrid had said his name was Roald. He was supposed to be close to Athelstan's age, which given their current situation seemed fairly common. But the woman. Lilith knew her face as well. And her words further confirmed her suspicions.
"Yes, well, it wasn't even her idea to marry me to him," she moaned as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "My father should have known better than to think he could sell me off like cattle."
It was Thyri.
"I did not tell my mother that I also made a sacrifice to Odin," Thyri panted and held his body closer to hers. "For him to make a sacrifice of my father for his duplicity. And it looks like I got my wish."
Lilith looked up at Gyda, seeing the same realization in her eyes and knowing they had seen enough. Slowly, they stood up together, slipping out of the stables and immediately faced with Athelstan and Ingrid.
"What are you two doing out here?" he asked them in his usual commanding tone. It usually meant he'd had to go looking for them, and he was never happy when he had to do that.
Ingrid didn't look happy to see them either.
"I was coming to get Gyda for supper," Lilith lied as smoothly as she could. "Mother said she had something important for us in the Great Hall."
Athelstan eyed both of them suspiciously, almost seeing through Lilith's lie and opening his mouth to say something before Ingrid spoke instead.
"All right, then, go on to the Hall," she ordered them. "You have responsibilities to see to, just as we do."
Lilith grabbed Gyda's hand, and together, they hurried off to the Great Hall. Lilith glanced back once, seeing Athelstan and Ingrid arguing about something, but she couldn't tell what it was. Ingrid dropped the issue abruptly, walking away, and Athelstan looked up to see her watching him. With just a nod, he sent her on, turning to keep going himself. She and Gyda had just about rounded the corner to the Great Hall when she stopped and watched Athelstan slip into the stables through the same door she and Gyda had come from.
So on top of this important thing from Lagertha, Lilith would prepare herself for a long talk with Athelstan after supper.
The Great Hall was already filling up with even more people than the days and weeks previous, and Lilith side-stepped all of them to make it to the head table where Lagertha was talking with a dark-haired woman dressed similarly to Ingrid but with kinder eyes and a gentler smile. Their mother saw them and nodded for them to come to her, and as they got closer, Lilith saw Þórunn there with another girl who was about their age.
"Girls," she said and took them both under her arms, "this is Asa. I have chosen her to be my handmaid. She will help me when it is time for the baby to be born."
Asa faced both Lilith and Gyda, bowing her head. "My Ladies, it is an honor to serve your mother, and you as well."
Lagertha rubbed Asa's shoulder, nodding just once before she extended her hand to Þórunn and the girl standing next to her. They stepped forward together, looking up at Lagertha and then at Lilith and Gyda.
"You both remember Þórunn," she said and touched her shoulder gently. "She has already proven to be an able assistant to Athelstan, and she will continue to do so." She reached for the other girl whose hair was so blond that it was almost white, and she stepped closer to them. "This is Edda. She is the same age as you, Lilith. So I have decided to make her your handmaiden. In the same way that I have decided to make Þórunn a handmaiden to you, Gyda. They will both help each of you in any way you need, but remember, you are all just girls. I want you all to look after each other."
Lilith lifted her eyes to Lagertha, questioning only momentarily before her mother nodded that it was all right. She stepped in front of Edda and reached for her hand, smiling when Edda met her halfway. "It's wonderful to meet you, Edda," Lilith said as genuinely as she ever had. "I hope one day that we'll be friends, at least."
Edda looked to Asa for guidance, and when the older woman smiled the same way Lagertha had, she looked at Lilith and bowed her head. "I hope that as well," she said and smiled.
Lagertha squeezed Lilith's shoulder, kissing the side of her face before she did the same to Gyda and nudged all the girls toward the back. "Go on and get ready for supper. I will set new places for our new girls, and we will have new beds brought in for them. Quickly now."
Lilith squeezed Edda's hand gently, pulling her along as she glanced back at Gyda and Þórunn. They followed quietly, leaving Lagertha and Asa to finish setting the table for supper.
The noise of the Hall died down as they all stepped into the partition in the back to change out of the dresses they had both been wearing all day. Gyda and Lilith quickly took off their shoes, and while Gyda turned so Þórunn could untie the back of her dress, Lilith did the same with Edda, pulling her hair over her shoulders without saying anything. Almost as soon as the strings holding her dress together came undone, Lilith heard Edda gasp softly.
It took no time for Lilith to realize, and by then, it was too late to cover up. Gyda hurried to help, but Lilith stopped her.
"It's all right, Gyda," Lilith said and faced Edda. "It's all right."
"What happened to you?" Edda almost whispered.
"The place where I came from wasn't a very nice place," Lilith said and sighed. "At least not for me. And this is what they did to discipline me."
Slowly, Lilith pulled her arm out of the sleeve and showed it to Edda, allowing her closer to touch it.
"Did – Did the Priest – Did he – "
"No," Lilith said quickly, shaking her head. "Athelstan was the only one there who cared for me. And he always did what he could to protect me. Now that we're here, he doesn't have to do it alone anymore."
Edda's fingers came over the scar that rounded Lilith's shoulder before she accepted it, helping with the rest of the dress so a clean one could be put on in its place.
The new dress was tied into place before Edda spoke again, her voice stronger and clearer. "I am sorry that happened to you," she said, adding, "but I am glad that you are here now. Very much."
The smile on Edda's face made Lilith smile with her, and they nodded together.
"I'm glad as well," Lilith agreed.
Despite making it obvious that a talk was coming all through supper, when Athelstan sat down with Lilith and Gyda afterwards for their reading, he only had one thing to talk about, and it wasn't what either of them were expecting.
"The two of you can't go off like you've been doing," he told them over the materials in front of him. "It's getting colder, and soon, the winter snows will start. I talked to Lagertha, and she agreed that it's better for you to stay close to the long house. The last thing we need is for either of you getting caught away from town before a snow storm."
Gyda was more visibly disappointed than Lilith, sighing over the table and pouting as she looked over at Bjorn who didn't seem to care about what was being said. Athelstan noticed Gyda's face and moved around to her side, glancing at Lilith at he did so.
"I know this is a new place," he said and looked at them both. "I've found myself curious as well. But new places can also be unsafe. In the Spring and Summer, before Ragnar plans to go raiding, we can all go exploring together, when it's not so perilous to be out after it is dark. Please?"
Gyda, though still disappointed, nodded slowly, and Athelstan wrapped his arm around her to comfort her. He lifted his gaze to Lilith as he did so, and she noticed something different in his eyes that she had never seen before. She remembered the look he'd had upon finding them at the stables, but this was even different from that. Was it that he wanted to talk to her about what she had seen and simply didn't know how?
Lilith had already seen so many new things since coming to this place, even before they had come to Kattegat as a family. She knew she would see and hear more different things, and whether it happened now or later wouldn't make that much difference to her. It obviously mattered to Athelstan, even when he didn't know how to bring it up. Did she need to bring it up for him?
Instead of doing that, Lilith decided it was better to wait until Athelstan could do it on his own. That was what he always taught her. Until she could talk about it, then she wasn't ready for it. Maybe she would ask Lagertha about it again, since she was a woman and would know what to say.
After they finished their reading, Lilith and Gyda walked back to their room where Þórunn and Edda were already putting out their sleeping gowns. Since it was late, they both just changed and laid down to sleep. When Þórunn laid down with Gyda, Edda laid down with Lilith, and that was that.
Since coming to Kattegat and being put in charge of the servants that had been part of Earl Haraldson's household, Athelstan thought he would feel overwhelmed more than he ever had in his life. But he didn't. It was strange.
Kattegat was not like any place Athelstan had ever been, and he could honestly say he had been many places now and encountered many different people. Of all those places, Kattegat was still the most foreign, and therefore, the most dangerous, especially since he was regarded as a foreigner.
After many weeks, navigating this new world had naturally become easier, especially with his knowledge of the language and with Lagertha's help. Sharing the news of her pregnancy had allowed her trust in him to become more evident, and she always took long walks through town with him when Ragnar was being especially Ragnar-like. They usually had Lilith and Gyda with them, so no one looked at them strangely, but those walks never failed to put Athelstan's nerves on edge.
With winter upon them, staying close became the most important aspect of the days and nights, and despite making it very plain to Lilith and Gyda that they couldn't go roaming anymore, he knew the lure of a new place would be too much for them to ignore. So he had to employ different methods of making sure they weren't left alone.
Only a few weeks after speaking to Ingrid and finding common ground where the children were concerned, she had become a little more receptive to the idea of giving Þórunn and now Edda more freedom as far as tasks to do around the long house. They still had their disagreements, especially when it came to Lilith lying to cover for her sister, but for the most part, he took care of the daily chores while she handled everything in the kitchens.
That's where he found her the morning the first snow threatened to keep them all inside.
"What can I do for you now, Athelstan?" she asked from the small hearth where meat was already cooking.
"I wondered if I might speak to you about the girls," he said, watching her sigh before she stood up and moved to his side. "I hate to bother you, but what happened the other day will keep happening unless I can — we can find a way to make sure Lili and Gyda are safe. I hoped you would be able to help me."
Wiping her hands on her apron, she gestured for him to go ahead of her, and they left the kitchens together. "Exactly what do you believe I can help you do?" she asked. "Those girls know you far better than they know me. I doubt they will listen to anything I say at this point."
He turned to her once they were in the main part of the house as it set mostly quiet. "Perhaps not, but you know the other girls here. Now that Lagertha has essentially assigned Þórunn and Edda to them both, they at least have someone to sit with at supper and keep them warm at night. Of which I am exceedingly grateful. But Þórunn and Edda will surely have other responsibilities once winter sets in, and that will leave Lili and Gyda with time on their hands I do not want them to have to go outside alone. Would you know any of the other girls who are close to Lili and Gyda's age who might be able to help as well?"
"Well, of course, I know the other girls," she snipped, exasperated. Athelstan sighed heavily, and then she did, thinking silently before she spoke again. "The only ones left I can think of are Gerda and Amma. Gerda is now eleven, and Amma is fourteen. All the others are women grown, and they have harder work to do with the grain stores and the animals. Gerda is only just learning to help in the kitchens, but it should be simple enough to change that. Amma is a little stubborn, but seeing that the children all seem to respond to you, perhaps she will as well. You will ask the Mistress before you make changes to their duties, yes?"
Athelstan nodded quickly. "Of course. Thank you. Their safety will be as important to me as Lili and Gyda, and Þórunn and Edda, of course."
The suspicion in her blue eyes appraised him for only half a minute before she nodded as well. "All right, then. I will find them and send them to you before breakfast."
She left with a bow of her head, stepping back to the kitchens to complete the task he had interrupted.
Thankfully, Lagertha had no problem allowing two more girls attend Lilith and Gyda, especially since it kept them inside most of the day. When Athelstan found her with Asa, she was in better spirits than he'd seen her since meeting her.
"You have made me happy in your devotion to my daughters' safety," she said as she dismissed Asa and moved to his side, taking his arm in her hands. "I am already dreaming what it will be like to have a new babe in the house, and you come up frequently in my dreams, Athelstan."
He blushed helplessly, and Lagertha squeezed his arm gently.
"Not like that," she insisted. "I dream of us as a family, and you are a part of this family. Just as Lilith is."
They stepped out of the back, and Athelstan spotted two girls waiting with Ingrid. Lagertha released him with a nudge, and he bowed his head, making his way to his two new charges.
Ingrid bowed her head just a little when she saw him, holding the girls in her arms as she spoke.
"Athelstan," she said and looked at the smaller girl, "this is Gerda." Then she looked at the taller girl. "And this is Amma. They will be your responsibility every day until it is time to start supper. Girls, you will do whatever Athelstan assigns you to do. No arguments."
Gerda looked up at Ingrid, waiting for a nod before nodding herself. Amma had to be nudged a little before she agreed, and Ingrid left them all quietly. Athelstan waited until she was gone to give all his attention to his new charges.
"Athelstan," Gerda said, her brown eyes inquisitive as she gazed up at him. "You are the one who is in charge of us now. Like Olaf was."
Her statement turned out to be an acknowledgment, and Athelstan nodded.
"That's right, Gerda," he agreed. "But I do not want you to think of me as someone who will punish you if you do something wrong. I will help you learn as best as I can, and eventually, I would like for us to be friends."
Gerda smiled and nodded, the auburn hair on her head bouncing as she did. "All right."
Athelstan bowed his head. "Now have either of you eaten breakfast?" he asked and looked at Amma.
With defiant blue eyes, she turned her gaze to Gerda, and when they both shook their heads, Athelstan sighed.
"That's all right," he said. "Lili and Gyda will be back soon with Edda and Þórunn, and I will make sure you both eat with them this morning."
Amma stood up straight and clenched her fists at her sides. "We are not meant to eat until after the Earl and his family," she argued.
"And that was before today," Athelstan said as calmly as he ever had. "Today, all of that changes. And no one else can change that except for me. All right?"
She didn't say anything for a minute, almost like she didn't believe him. But he didn't back down from what he said, and slowly, she accepted it.
"Amma," he said, and she took a deep breath, "you will sit with Gyda and Þórunn, and Gerda, you will sit with me and Lili and Edda. Now both of you, go wash up."
Neither of them argued, moving off to the side where a wash bowl waited.
Athelstan sighed as softly as he could, glancing toward the back and discovering that Lagertha had watched the whole thing with a smile on her face. She said nothing, bowing her head and turning to go back to the private room and collect Ragnar for breakfast.
The two newest faces at the breakfast table garnered only enough attention for Ragnar to be told their names, and after that, no one mentioned it or questioned it. Lilith and Gyda accepted their new friends just as easily as they had the first time, and Athelstan was more relieved than he could say, hoping this would further assist him in keeping them both out of trouble.
After breakfast, Lagertha sent the girls to their lessons with Ellisef, and Athelstan had Þórunn show Edda, Gerda and Amma how to clean the stones they practiced writing on while he spoke to Ragnar about accommodating them all with a new room that would be large enough for them all to sleep in.
"You seem to have become very interested in my daughters and their well-being," Ragnar teased as he sat at the hearth in the Great Hall. "I wouldn't be surprised if the other men around here became jealous of you."
Athelstan rolled his eyes, even as he took a deep breath and began again. "Well, it is my responsibility to look after Lili and Gyda, and Bjorn, and the girls are becoming increasingly curious about the world around them. It is my hope that the less they are left to their own devices, the less likely they are to be caught outside when it snows. And I'm hoping to find someone for Bjorn to be friends with as well, but I do not know any of the male servants here. Not yet. Right now, I'm concerned with Lili and Gyda's well-being. So will you agree to them having a room of their own then?"
The thoughtful expression on Ragnar face didn't mean that he was thinking about what Athelstan said. Always, there was a teasing comment or a harmless jab to be made by Ragnar in situations like this, and Athelstan was only just now becoming accustomed to it. He prepared himself for that very thing, knowing he would need his own facetious comment as a response.
"As usual, you have expressed your wisdom to me," Ragnar said, surprising Athelstan thoroughly. "And of course, you always see things that need to be done to ensure the safety of my children. That is why I gave you this responsibility. So yes, I will agree."
Athelstan was relieved, nodding just once and rising slowly before Ragnar could change his mind.
"But," Ragnar said, stopping him, and Athelstan huffed softly, "I still require something of you myself. So please, stay a moment. We have many things to discuss this morning."
Although he knew he would regret it, Athelstan took a deep breath and did as Ragnar said, sitting back down at the hearth as the man passed him a cup of ale. Though the prospect of being drunk again wasn't appealing to Athelstan in the slightest, he took the cup and then took a sip, being rewarded with one of Ragnar's happy smiles.
"It has been a while since we talked about England," Ragnar said as he took his own gulp of ale. "There is still so much I want to know. And when I return there in the summer, I want to explore much more of the land than I already have. Surely, by now, you understand that my gain is also yours, as it will help us survive more winters together."
Athelstan inhaled a short breath, nodding. "I understand," he agreed. "I will tell you what I know. Especially since you have asked this time."
Ragnar tilted his head, still grinning and pouring more ale into Athelstan's cup. "And perhaps if I succeed, I will bring you more things for you to use to teach my children to read and write. How does that bargain sound to you?"
Athelstan laughed softly. "We have made do these last weeks. I'm sure we will continue to do so. As long as you come back to your children and your wife, that will be bargain enough."
"To them and to you, Priest," he still teased.
"Of course," Athelstan said and nodded.
Ragnar nodded and took a gulp of his ale. "Good. Now tell me. Tell me about King Alle. You once said he was a great and powerful king. Tell me more about him. Tell me if he can be bargained with, and if so, how do I bargain with such a great and powerful king?"
Athelstan thought of everything that had been said to him by the other monks, remembering how they had all been impressed with the king. "I only know what I heard," he said and bowed his head a little. "Father Cuthbert always said he was a wise and generous man. And the other monks who met him only had positive things to say about him. He always sounded like a good man, but I was young when I heard these things. I don't know much from personal experience. I believe if you are fair, he will also be. But he is a king. And it's been my experience that kings do not always behave as you expect them to."
It looked at least like Ragnar listened, pouring more ale into Athelstan's cup. "Does this man have a family?" he asked, his curiosity obvious.
"He has a wife," Athelstain said and nodded, adding, "a son and two daughters. And he has brothers as well, though I don't know their names."
Ragnar stayed quiet for a minute, taking another gulp and groaning softly. Athelstan remembered that he was still healing from his ordeal with Earl Haraldson, and he moved to stand up.
"You're still healing," he said obviously. "You need to rest."
"What do you think I have been doing all these weeks?" Ragnar nearly demanded, lifting his annoyed face to meet Athelstan's. "My wife, my son, even my friends all nag at me to rest, and I am sick of resting. Now you will sit down and speak to me, and when I am finished, then you will go do something else. I want to talk about this now. Before someone else comes and tells me that I need to rest."
Athelstan blinked, realizing this was a command from his Earl, and he sat back down, feeling his heart in his throat as Ragnar nodded to his cup. He drank a little at first and then more until Ragnar smiled again. Athelstan remembered what Lilith had said after the funeral of Earl Haraldson, and that clearly would have to be rescinded in this instance.
"King Alle sounds like a reasonable man," Ragnar said. "But as you say, he is a king. So I will have to be careful when dealing with him. If I can negotiate with him, then we will all reap the benefits of such a thing. And I might even think of another way to reward you for your help. You have done so much for me already. Continue to do that, and your place here will always be secure."
With another gulp of his ale, Athelstan reasoned that he would have to be even more careful with Ragnar now, and that meant he had to relinquish even more information than he previously had. It wasn't that he didn't want to. He had no real connection to that place he'd come from anymore, not with Lilith beside him and this family that had taken them both in without question. But he had to bargain with his own conscience, knowing he would be allowing his own countrymen to be killed if they didn't want to deal with Ragnar. And he had to think carefully about the information he did give Ragnar. He wanted the man to return to them, after all, and the more accurate the information he gave was, the better.
The first major winter storm came just after the first of February, testing Athelstan's resolve to keep Lilith and Gyda inside with their own handmaidens even as the other servants continued to tread outside to perform their duties. The men especially tempted them to try leaving the long house and the Great Hall, where most of the people in town began to congregate because it was the warmest place in town. It wasn't easy bringing Elisef to the long house for her to teach the girls, but when Athelstan explained the trouble he was having, she understood.
Ragnar continued asking Athelstan about King Alle and about Northumbria. Some nights, they would talk long after everyone had gone to sleep, and sometimes, Lilith would find them there and lay on the bench beside Athelstan to sleep in front of the hearth. It only partially interrupted Ragnar, and then once she was asleep, he would continue asking questions. On these nights, Ragnar practiced his English with Athelstan, learning new words and lighting up almost the same way the girls and Bjorn did when they learned new things. It was almost like he had gained another student.
Along with talking about England and King Alle, Ragnar also allowed Athelstan to ask questions about the land he'd begun to call his home. Most subjects were able to be spoken about when the Hall was filled with people from town, because they all knew these things that Ragnar explained to Athelstan. The one thing Ragnar would not talk to him about was something called Ragnarok. In fact, no one would ever speak about it. It was strange that these people, who boasted about their gods more than any other culture Athelstan had ever encountered all seemed to know that this was the one thing they never spoke of. He couldn't even get Helga to tell him about it when she and Floki began staying in the Great Hall with everyone else.
Of course if he had known it would be such an endeavor for him to find out exactly what Ragnarok was, Athelstan probably would not have asked, since doing so involved being intoxicated with something stronger than ale that left him with a headache worse than he'd ever had being hung over from drinking. No one prepared him for what it would feel like to hallucinate for the first time in his life, and when he woke the next morning, he not only had a headache but also a bruise on his shoulder like he'd never had in his life.
Had he fallen out of bed in this night? Had he run into something that would make such a mark on him? He didn't dare ask Ragnar, since he knew that wouldn't produce anything more than another bout of teasing from the man. But he had to find out from someone, so he asked Lagertha when he saw her before breakfast.
When she looked upon his shoulder, she didn't look concerned, at least until she touched it and watched him withdraw from her.
"Are you in pain?" she asked him.
"It hurts a little," he acknowledged. "That is why I needed someone other than Ragnar to look at it. I know I am still learning about this world, but how can I do that if no one here will tell me? I cannot learn all of it through experiencing it alone. And then how will I prepare Lili for these things if I do not know them myself? How will I protect her when she needs me to?"
Lagertha sighed, taking him by the arms and shaking him a little. "You do not need to worry about Lilith being unsafe here," she assured him. "I know Ragnar can be intimidating at times, but he loves her the same as I do. And he cares a great deal for you. You will have to forgive his way. He was the same with Bjorn back on the farm. Ragnar always feels that learning is best done by doing, and in some way, I agree. With the sword and ax and shield, it is always better to learn by doing. It seems while we have expected you to adapt to us, we have still not adapted to you very well. Wait here," she nodded. "I will bring you something for the pain."
She gave him no time to argue, leaving quickly and returning with a small bowl that had strong-smelling ointment inside.
"Remove your leather and your tunic," she commanded.
Athelstan knew to obey, unclasping his belt and shrugging out of the leather jerkin before he lifted his tunic up and over his head. Suddenly, he was naked from the waist up as he stood in front of her, his heart hammering in his chest and causing him to blush.
The ointment was cool to the touch but quickly warmed as she began rubbing it over his bruised skin, and as she worked, his embarrassment faded. She noticed how he relaxed, grinning as she produced linen strips to lay over his shoulder.
"You are still so innocent, Athelstan," she commented. "I think I will be sad the day that is no longer the case."
"Why?" he asked softly.
With a deep breath, she stepped back and folded her hands over her growing belly. "Because then a small, bright light will have gone out in the world, and I will mourn. But I hope that even when that happens, you will still retain your ability to always see good in the world. It is your most endearing quality. Now, how is your shoulder?"
Gently, he flexed the muscle, feeling most of the tenderness gone. "Better," he nodded.
"Good," she said and picked up his tunic. "You will need to apply this to it once a day for about a week, and then you should be all healed, my friend."
Athelstan took his tunic, struggling to lift it above his head and stammering a little when she moved forward to help him. Her body brushed up against his, the fabric covering her belly meeting his just as the babe inside her moved. Lagertha 'oof'd softly, laying her hand over her belly and stepping back with a small grin on her face.
"That was not expected," she giggled and looked up at him. "I think even this child inside me likes you. Come. Feel."
Before he could protest, she grabbed his hand and lay it over her belly. Athelstan had never touched a woman's body in his life, and he was certain he should not be doing it now. But he had never seen Lagertha so happy, and he couldn't refuse her request.
And then the most extraordinary thing happened when the babe inside her moved against his hand. Athelstan gasped softly, lifting his other hand to the other side of her body and feeling it again. Lagertha laughed softly, holding her hands over both of his.
"That's amazing," he whispered and then laughed himself. "When Lili came to the monastery, she was already in a blanket. And my closest brother was nearly three years older than me, so I never saw any of my siblings be born. My only sister was old enough to have been married herself, but I was sent away to the monastery before that happened. And then a man from our village came to tell me that she was dead, along with the rest of my family."
Despite being happy just a few seconds earlier, Athelstan felt sad thinking of his parents and siblings. Every time he thought of them, he felt so much loss that not even the presence of all the people around him could fill that loss. Sometimes, even Lilith could not fill that space inside him.
"What was her name?" Lagertha asked softly.
He lifted his gaze to her, still holding her belly as she held his hands. "Who?"
She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. "Your sister. What was her name?"
Athelstan had to think for another moment, having only recited his sister's name in his mind since he'd gone to the monastery and having not truly thought of her until Gyda had asked him about her so many weeks after arriving here from the monastery. If he thought hard enough, he could still see her face and hear her voice, and when he looked at Lagertha, he spoke as plainly as he ever had.
"Her name was Wynflæd."
Just as she had with his name and Lilith's name, Lagertha furrowed her brow, forming the sounds on her lips before she accepted it, just as she had with him and Lilith. The babe inside her moved again, surprising Athelstan so much that he let go of her and took almost a full two steps back before she stopped him.
"I am sorry for what happened to your family," she said gently. "And I will pray to the gods for them to find peace with your God. I have been blessed by your presence, and I shall not ever squander that blessing. And perhaps one day, you will be able to honor them by doing good in this world. Yes?"
Though he hesitated a moment, when she tipped her head forward, prompting him to agree, he did so easily. Once he was smiling again, she did as well, picking up his leather jerkin and handing it to him.
"Before you know it," she began, "Spring will be upon us, and we will have many things to do before Ragnar leaves for England. And I know I can count on you to help me where there needs to be help."
Athelstan bowed his head, pulling his jerkin on and replacing his belt. "Yes, my Lady. And thank you for tending to me. I will see you at breakfast."
She nodded just once, and he left quietly, lifting his eyes to the heavens and praying for as much strength as he could at that moment.
I hope a few of the character moments weren't too much, especially where Thyri and Lagertha were concerned. It all goes into the ending of this part of the story.
Now, for the announcement. I'm getting really close to the last several chapters, and while I have them lined out, one of them still has to be written, and many of the will need to be re-written. I want to make the ending as good as I possibly can.
So I'll post the next chapter in a couple of weeks, so keep your fingers crossed that I'm able to do it.
Thanks to everyone who's following this and putting it in their favorites. Dropping a line or two wouldn't hurt either.
Until next time!
