Vikings is tonight! Looks like a good time to post part two of the current chapter. Again, this is in Lilith's perspective, and it has an important ending.

A few more notes will be at the bottom.


Memories, Part II

Lilith woke from a strange dream to discover the room around her nearly pitch black even as Edda held her securely. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Lilith remembered her dream. There had been blood and screaming, Lagertha had been sad and angry at the same time, and Gyda had been scared. But there had been so much blood. Blood everywhere and Lagertha at the middle of it.

What did it mean?

She knew her moon blood was still a few weeks away, but maybe this didn't have anything to do with that. Lilith had always had dreams, and she always tried to decipher them on her own before involving anyone else. She wasn't sure she could do that this time.

She heard someone talking outside her room with Gyda and their handmaidens, and without waking Edda, Lilith stood up to leave the room as quietly as she could. It was still cold here at night, even in the summer, but Lilith left behind her cloak, needing to investigate this talking. Then she would go back to bed.

The main room of the long house was still bright and warm from the hearth fire, and around it, she found Athelstan as he sat with Olaf. Edda had told her that Olaf used to do what Athelstan did now, looking over the other slaves. Lilith hadn't realized Olaf was an older man, like the one who had begged to go to England with Ragnar.

Slowly, she made her way to where Athelstan sat, bringing his attention to her as she came closer, and he stood up to face her.

"Lili, it's late," he said even as he caressed her cheek. "You should be sleeping. What's wrong?"

"I had a dream," she simply said, and he sighed, removing his cloak and draping it over her shoulders so she could sit on the bench beside him.

"What was this dream?" he asked and eased her hair from her face.

She sighed softly, laying her head over his arm. "There was blood and screaming," she whispered, glancing at Olaf as he watched her. "I had never seen so much blood, and Lagertha was crying. She was sad and angry at once, and it frightened me to see her that way. But there was so much blood."

Athelstan sighed softly, holding her closer to him and kissing her head. "It was just a dream, Lili," he whispered, consoling her. "You've had many dreams before that did not come true. And I'm sure you miss Ragnar, as do I. But I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise you."

Lilith wrapped her other arm around him, missing his warmth and wishing she could sleep out here with him next to the fire. She'd become accustomed to Edda holding her at night, and they had already begun practicing her English when they were alone. But Lilith wanted no one except Athelstan to comfort her. No one else could quiet her fears like he could.

"You're the Earl's lawful daughter," Olaf said, and they both looked at him. "I remember seeing you the day Ragnar Lothbrok brought you here from his first raid. Dear child, do you dream like that quite often?"

Lilith lifted her head, looking at Athelstan. He nodded that it was all right, and she answered Olaf. "I do, sir. And yes, I am Ragnar's lawful daughter. Edda told me your name is Olaf."

He laughed softly. "Oh, she did, did she? Well, she would be correct. And I can already see now that you and Athelstan are very close. It must be true what they said that you both came from the same place in England."

"It is true," she nodded. "From where do you come?"

"Lili," Athelstan chastised.

"No, it's all right," Olaf said. He lowered his eyes to Lilith's. "My dear, I am from a place called Denmark. It's quite a way from here, though not as far as where you're from. Your protector here has become very astute in his position, and he's related very well to the other slaves. But he has quite a close friendship with you, and I can see that it deepens every day."

"Well, Athelstan raised me," Lilith told him. "I've known him every day of my life."

Olaf nodded. "I see. Well, it is time for me to retire. I should think the two of you need to as well. Good night, Athelstan. And good night, Lilith."

He stood up without saying anything else, disappearing out the front doors and leaving Lilith and Athelstan alone in front of the hearth.

"Edda says he is worse than the Seer when he talks in riddles and makes people act like idiots," Lilith said as she stared at the doors.

Athelstan sighed. "Lili, that's not fair. Now, come on. Is your dream the only reason why you can't sleep?"

She held onto him tighter. "No," she said softly. "I'm worried about Ragnar. And so is Gyda. What if something happens to him?"

"Nothing will happen to Ragnar," he assured her. "He's gone raiding before, and he's always come back, hasn't he?"

Lilith pulled in a deep breath and nodded.

"Then there's no reason why he would not come back now. And besides, even if something did happen to him, you have a lot of people here who care for you and would look after you. Not just me. You have Lagertha and Gyda, and Edda. The two of you have gotten close, and I am grateful for that. There are many people here who are not happy about it, and I don't want you to get hurt. Everyone in this house will protect you. Even Siggy and Thyri, despite being so new."

The mention of Thyri's name reminded Lilith of the day she'd seen her in the barn with Roald, and the fact that she and her mother were now back in the long house just didn't feel right to her. It just felt strange.

It was quiet another minute as Athelstan held her closer, and she stared into the fire, thinking about Ragnar and Lagertha and her dream and wondering what it all meant.

"Lili," Athelstan said after a minute, "I know you're still uncomfortable around Thyri. Why does she make you uncomfortable?"

Lilith sighed again, sitting up straight as she still looked into the fire. "Why does it matter?"

He rubbed her arm gently. "It matters because I don't want you to feel unsafe here. And if she makes you uncomfortable, then I can have Ingrid assign her something that will keep her from the long house most of the day. What happened? Did she do something or say something?"

She shook her head. "It's not like that. I just – I– I saw her doing something, and Gyda said to talk to Lagertha, but I never did. I thought I had forgotten it, but then she came here with Siggy, and now every time I look at her, I think about it. Like I think about my dreams. It just feels strange."

Only a second or two passed before he let go of her and turned her to face him, his hands claiming her shoulders so she could look straight at him. "Lili, did you see Thyri with Roald, from the kitchens?"

Lilith nodded.

"And did you see them – Were they – Lili, did they see you?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

He took a deep breath, as deep as she'd ever seen him, and he pulled her closer to hold her against him. "Come on," he said after a long second. "You should be in bed."

She didn't argue with him, allowing him to pull her to her feet and following him back to the private rooms.

"Are you going to sleep?" she asked as they walked.

He squeezed her gently. "I will do my best, dear girl."

They arrived at the door to her room, and he turned her to face him before letting her go inside.

"Lili, I need you to keep what you saw to yourself, all right? If you talk to Lagertha about it, don't tell her what you saw. Please? It's not something you need to be learning just yet. Okay?"

It was so strange for him to ask her not to tell Lagertha this one thing, but Lilith knew he was serious, so of course, she agreed and nodded. He moved forward and kissed her forehead.

"Go on to bed then. I'll see you in the morning."

She barely hesitated, moving back to her bed with Edda and laying down before he left, but she stayed awake a long time after he was gone, thinking about how strange it was that he acted like he'd seen the same thing she had.

Lilith eventually fell asleep, but she did not sleep long, awakened by screaming that was the most horrible screams she'd ever heard in her life. More screaming followed, and then Lagertha cried for Asa. She cried for Athelstan, and Lilith got up just as Gyda did. They woke Þórunn and Edda before leaving their room, stepping into the main room of the long house as the other servants scrambled around.

"This cannot happen! It cannot! Help me! Please!"

Lilith took Gyda's hand as they moved forward, and she glanced back at Edda and Þórunn before moving forward.

More screaming followed, and then grunting and crying, and Lilith felt her heart in her throat as she got closer to the partition that separated Lagertha's room from the main room of the house. The doors to the house sprung open to reveal Ingrid and Kindra hurrying through with basins of steaming water, but neither of them saw Lilith or Gyda.

Finally, Lilith could see inside Lagertha's room as Asa and Athelstan scrambled around the bed with Lagertha in the middle of it. They moved together as they held Lagertha up from the bed, and Ingrid and Kindra pulled the furs and linens from the mattress. Lagertha screamed again, and Lilith felt the tears in her eyes slip down her cheeks.

That was when she saw the blood covering the linens, and she knew something was wrong.

"Athelstan," she said so softly that she did not think anyone would hear her.

Somehow, he did, looking up to see her there and hurrying around the bed to where she was standing with Gyda.

"What are you doing out here?" he demanded, his hands clamped around her arms. "You can't be out here!"

"What's wrong with Mother?" Gyda cried. "Why is she screaming?"

He stood up then, the hard expression on his face not fading at all. "None of you needs to be out here. Go on back to bed now!"

Lagertha screamed again, and he shoved Lilith away from him.

"Go back to bed now! All of you! Thyri!"

She appeared behind him, and he nudged her toward them. "Take them back to their room. Now."

She didn't hesitate, moving to be in front of Lilith and taking her shoulder. "It's all right. Come on."

Though she didn't fight Thyri's pull, Lilith glanced back at Athelstan, seeing that he had blood all over his tunic and up his forearms. She looked down at her gown and discovered his hand prints over the sleeves.

"What is happening?" Edda asked as they were rushed back to their room.

"It is not for any of you to worry over right now," Thyri replied. "When it is over, they will come to get you."

"But Athelstan was covered in blood," Gyda exclaimed. "Is Mother having the baby? Was she supposed to be screaming like that?"

Thyri did not respond to that, urging them all forward.

More screaming followed, and while Þórunn and Gyda both accepted Thyri's abrupt dismissal, Lilith couldn't sit still. Every time Lagertha screamed, she would squirm, and Edda would hold her hand tighter. At one point, she stood up from where she'd been made to sit and paced, trying to hear something else even if nothing else was so loud as the sound of Lagertha struggling.

It was morning before Ingrid came to their room alone. She was still in the clothes she'd worn the day before, except now her eyes were red and her hair was so out of place that several strands were already falling around her pale face. She looked at Thyri and nodded for her to leave, and then she turned her attention to the four girls in front of her.

"What's happening?" Gyda demanded, taking Lilith's hand in hers and gripping it tightly.

For another minute, Ingrid said nothing. She struggled to find the words for so long that Lilith knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"Lagertha has lost the baby," she said as gently as she could.

Gyda began to cry as soon as the words were spoken, turning to Lilith and burying her face in her sister's shoulder. Lilith held Gyda as securely as she could, never looking away from Ingrid.

"How?" she pleaded.

"I do not know," Ingrid shook her head, covering her mouth as she let go of a soft sob. "The midwife said she was doing well last week, and last night, she woke up screaming. We may never know why this happened. It is sometimes the will of the gods that these things happen. I am so sorry, dear girl." She reached for Lilith's hand and then Gyda's. "It will be a few hours before she will be able to see anyone. I will send Asa to get you, all right?"

She stood up before Lilith called her back.

"What about Athelstan?" she pleaded. "Is he all right?"

Ingrid stood up straight then, clenching her jaw before she spoke. "He will be fine," she snipped. "All of you stay here."

She gave them no chance to argue, hurrying away without another word.

Lilith huffed, holding Gyda closer to her. Edda and Þórunn sat with them, but for several minutes, no one spoke. What were they supposed to say?

Despite knowing she was supposed to wait for someone to come and get her, Lilith couldn't sit still long enough for that to happen. There were so many people in the long house whispering and running around, and she had never experienced anything like this. It was impossible not to go looking for the one person she knew would be able to tell her what she wanted to know.

Gyda didn't stop crying all morning, and Þórunn comforted her as best as she could. Lilith bid them to stay where they were, and when she left their room, Edda naturally followed her. Lilith didn't stop her, taking her hand after a few seconds so they could walk together.

"I just want to talk to Athelstan," she reminded Edda as they walked. "No one else. All right?"

Edda nodded silently.

The long house, while vacant of most people who did not need to be there, was a flurry of activity as slaves busied themselves with as many random duties as they could find. Lilith didn't care about any of them. She didn't care that she was still wearing her night gown or that it was still stained with the blood from Athelstan's hands. She only cared about making sure he was all right.

Most of the people around her ignored her, which was fine with her as she pulled Edda through the main room of the house, and then beyond the main doors, she saw him outside. His tunic was still bloody, but his arms had since been cleaned. He stood alone as people walked passed him, and he took a deep breath before turning to come back inside. Then he saw her.

Whatever anger he'd had in him earlier had vanished completely. He hurried through the doors to where she had stopped, and instantly, she was in his arms as he held her more securely than he ever had. Her feet left the ground before he cradled her head and then kissed her cheek, whispering softly.

"I'm so sorry, Lili," he cried. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I was trying to protect you, but I didn't want to scare you. Are you all right?"

He leaned back to look at her, easing her hair from her face, and when she nodded, he kissed her cheek again and set her down on the floor. She got a better look at his face in the light from outside, seeing his eyes red and the remnants of blood over his cheek. He noticed how she looked at him, taking her hand and kneeling in front of her.

"Did Ingrid tell you what happened?" he asked softly, finally seeing Edda there and reaching for her hand as well.

Lilith nodded. "She said Lagertha lost the baby. How did it happen?"

He took another deep breath, holding their hands a little tighter. "I'm not sure. Asa said she had never seen it happen like this, but she has seen it before. Lagertha lost so much blood. We did not know if she would survive. That's why I didn't want you to be out here. Lili, I'm so sorry."

She looked at Edda, seeing a sympathetic expression on her face and turning back to Athelstan. "It's all right. I was just worried about you. Are you all right now?"

He bowed his head just a little, closing his eyes and then lifting them again to look at her. "I'm tired," he admitted. "And I'm worried about what this means. But for right now, I'm all right." He lowered his eyes to her gown, seeing the blood on her sleeves and rising to his feet. "Edda, take her to change," he half-commanded. "Then bring her and Gyda back out here. I'll see if Lagertha is up to seeing them."

Edda didn't hesitate, taking Lilith's hand again to pull her off. They only got a few steps away before Lilith ran back to him and threw her arms around him. He sighed against the top of her head, kissing her gently and squeezing her tightly. For a few precious seconds, it was quiet other than the two of them standing there, and when he let go of her again, he leaned down to kiss her before sending her and Edda to complete their task.

They were almost to the first partition when Lilith glanced back at him, noticing that while he was standing there by himself, Thyri was off in a corner of her own, watching him. She didn't know what it meant, but it made her distrust of Thyri grow just a little bit more than it already had.

Whatever happened next, it would be something no one was prepared for, but Lilith knew she would do whatever she could to get through it. She knew she would do whatever she needed to help Athelstan get through it as well.


I seriously thought about not writing Lagertha's miscarriage, but I felt like it needed to be written to fit into the rest of the story. So like many things, it's just a little different.

I might be changing my posting day to Wednesday since I still need a week to get the next chapter ready. Ironic that it happens to be on the same night as Vikings!

Until next time!