quick note: I am amazed at how split everyone was over Logan and Jess. I'm Team Logan for life but the chemistry between Rory and Jess on the show is undeniable. Even though this is a Jess chapter, Logan will be making an appearance sooner than later because our girl can't just have a happy ending! :) Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following!
Jess hadn't said a word the entire trip to the doctor's office. He had spent minimal moments walking the linoleum floors and staring into eyes of somebody in a white coat. In fact, it made him mildly uncomfortable. Not authority but the germs, the questioning, the smell of sanitizer, the people in wheel chairs. Maybe he got that from Luke who also cringed in that sort of environment. Like uncle, like nephew!
Rory however had gotten surprisingly used to it. She knew the drill.
1. Walk in.
2. Check in with crabby nurse at the front. If you're lucky crabby nurse is on break and you get the nurse who could easily be your Grandma. Not your as in Emily Gilmore but like a generic Grandma who smells like sugar cookies and perfume.
3. Sit in uncomfortable waiting room chair for one single eternity.
4. Get called back by somebody who isn't possibly old enough to work here.
5. Let her measure all sorts of bits and pieces of your being and ask you what you've been eating.
6. Lie and say you've been craving nothing but raw spinach smoothies and fresh fruit.
7. Say the chips in your tote are your mothers/brothers/friends/the person sitting next to you in the waiting room. Literally anyone but yourself.
8. Lift your shirt up in a very exposed manner.
9. Hate your life as they put cold goo all over you and then use a cold wand to get a little furry black and white image.
10. Get emotional at the image because it's your kid even though it kind of looks like an abstract bean.
11. Wait for another person to come in- the actual doctor, the gyno- who knows, they never really introduce their actual title.
12. Verify that baby is still very much so alive and growing. Your pants not fitting and your forming cankles didn't make that obvious.
She had some new steps to add to the list this time. Watching Jess squirm uncomfortably, become increasingly pale, and actually gag audibly at one point were all unexpected treats that accompanied this typically mundane visit.
"Was it the growing part?" Rory asked as she slid her shirt down and grabbed her bag, "Is that what upset you?"
"I wasn't upset!" The dark-haired boy of mystery defended his reaction, "It's kind of Alien you have to admit!"
"Oh, it is completely. It's so creepy!" She steered him toward the small coffee shop that sat right to the side of the waiting room.
"So, when do you find out if it's like a boy or a girl?" He ordered for them, whipping his wallet out.
She shut him down, "I insist! You came with me after all!" He wasn't going to fight her. She sighed, "Next visit…. I'm not really ready either way I guess!" She was grateful to be holding a cup of coffee in the moment, gave her something to focus on other than the growing problem inside of her.
"You'll do great with either!" His tone was so genuine.
"You think?" She wasn't near as confident in her abilities as he was with her.
"I know so! Now, you said I got a take-out dinner if I'm not mistaken!" A man lying on a hospital bed rolled by, audibly in pain, "Not that I'm particularly hungry…"
"Chinese? Italian? Burgers? INDIAN?" She chimed, "Your pick!"
"Nothing says Stars Hallow like Chinese food!" He grinned, opening the door to the car for her.
She couldn't agree more, "Hey do you think that you could like tell what that image was? When they showed it?"
He bit his lip, visibly uncomfortable with the idea of remembering that moment, "What do you mean? Like could I tell that it was an ultrasound?"
"I guess so!" She shrugged, "It just looks like a blob of nothing. You know that episode of Friends where Rachel starts crying because she can't see it. That's how I feel all the time. But I don't have anybody to point it out to me when I get home!"
"Well you could…." He cracked his neck nervously, shifting in his seat, "You could call the father?"
It was weird hearing Jess of all people acting as the one who was pushing her towards communicating with another guy. He had always been the one requesting she didn't get with that dirt bag or that jack ass or that whatever. He had always wanted her to himself and now that they were in this car together, that they had been spending more time together- he was constantly forcing her elsewhere.
She wondered if the feelings that had been their once before had completely diminished.
They hadn't on her side now that he had stumbled back to her life.
Sure, she spent years not thinking about him- moved on, thinking about other people and other things but she always came back to Jess because he was so similar to her in every sense. Nobody else could calm her like him, rile her up like him, create this new persona within her, like him.
"This is the turn!" She pointed to the sign that said Peach on it and he audibly laughed.
"You think I don't remember the streets! I have been here a time or two…."
"Sorry! Sometimes I still head straight to my home, home and forget to turn to my new home, home!" She exclaimed, laughing with him, smiling with him.
"It looks great!" He shut the car off and peered at her window where he could see in to reveal an empty picture frame and a silhouette of the couch.
"Well that's super creepy! Remind me to keep my blinds closed!" She led the way upstairs to the small two bedroom that was filled with bright lights and bright white décor. It was sterile, yet homey. Neutral. Plain like a dulled version of the style she wore daily, "Ta-da!"
He dropped the small weekender bag that he brought with on the couch and smiled at the furniture that he had so carefully helped her pick out. It had truly come together.
"This is the living room obviously and that's the fireplace that I haven't figured out how to work yet and these and then just to your right here is the kitchen!" She led him through the hardwood hallways to reveal her own touches on the historic property.
"Very nice! Perfect for cooking!"
"Because I do so much of that!" She agreed, "And off the kitchen we have two bedrooms, this one is mine and this one is…." She stood at the doorway staring at the emptiness, "This one will be for whatever…" Her breath staggered as she imagined the lack of sleep, the constant night light, the sound of a mobile coming from this very room. It was overwhelming- she wondered if it would ever stop being that way.
"This is your bedroom?" He changed the subject quickly, grossly unsure of how to deal with the emotion she was displaying. He waltzed in to the room covered in clothes, shoes, and unpacked boxes that were left half open. On the bed with a plush comforter, tucked perfectly into the corners. She had even managed a throw pillow. How was the rest of her life chaos but her bed organized? He was drawn to the bookshelf where she kept heaps of novels, short stories, poetry, and old textbooks.
"I'm working on alphabetizing it!" She stated as he picked through everything.
"Of course, you are!" He smiled and picked up the first book he had ever given her. She had kept his notes just as they were, in the margins, "I don't know if I can stay tonight Rory…" His heart fluttered thinking about sleeping feet away from her on the couch. It would be all around too much for him to handle.
"Oh… well…" She wanted him to stay so desperately. She wanted to talk and laugh and forget and just enjoy somebody who wasn't doting on her for being a baby maker but instead for being an avid reader, writer, and human being. She wanted to spend time with somebody who made her feel alive in an authentic way and not a superficial small talk way, "You can at least stay for dinner, right?"
She was plopped perfectly criss crossed on her bed, hugging a pillow to cover her growing stomach. She looked radiant in the natural light coming in from the large bay window that faced the town square. It would be a perfect reading nook. Jess could already picture her sitting and watching the snow fall over the streets.
In a perfect world, he'd greet her with a cup of coffee, steal a kiss between pages, and cozy up next to her with a candle burning. It had always been what he wanted and for a minute, she had too. He should have taken more advantage when he was able too.
"You okay?" She extended a hand to pull him next to her. He happily obliged.
"How come we never got the timing right, Rory?" Goosebumps traced her arms when he whispered her name.
She was nervous, visibly shaken, "What do you mean?"
He steadied her with the lightest grip of her bicep, "We were always on a different page or in a different stage of our lives? It seems like it's going to continue that way now…."
"Jess I-," She paused unsure of what to say, wanting to- for lack of better words- jump his bones straight back to Kyle's party senior year but she felt that it was no longer her place to initiate. She understood if he didn't want anything to do with her romantically and she was okay where they were, "I'm here right now! My timing is open and I'm open and I'm really confused and scared and I'm grateful for-,"
He cut her off, his lips gracing hers as he forced her onto her back with the weight of his body. She obliged, removing the pillow from in-between them, hoping that her belly wasn't enough to ruin the moment. It didn't seem to be as he ran his hands up and down her torso, gently- respectfully. He was being a true gentleman, something he had previously struggled with. She pulled back to get a good look in his eyes, to make sure he was serious about this. After all, this moment had been a long time coming and neither were sure it was going to happen.
"Are you?" Her chap stick left a mark of gloss on the edge of his lips and she wiped it away gently.
She nodded and pulled him closer, "Am I what?" Her voice was low, like her mother was in the next room and could hear them or something. Nomad mentality!
"I can't just be a one night thing with you. I need to know that you're…." He didn't know how to word it without sounding obnoxiously cliché, "Are we going to give this a try?"
"If you want…." She whispered.
He nodded.
He had wanted this for a long time.
