quick note: before you get started on this chapter i just wanted to address two things.

1. Jess fans- the story isn't over yet.
2. The end of this chapter isn't exactly graphic per say but, read cautiously if pregnancy or changes regarding it make you uncomfortable.

as always, thanks so much for reading and for your kind words. appreciate everyone who has clicked on and continued on so far!

curious, how many of you are OG Gilmore Girl fans? I actually didn't start watching until I was in college (approximately three years ago) but have already rewatched the series including AYITL four times! It's my go to feel good show. :)


"Hey! Glad you called… I was thinking about heading into Stars Hallow tonight and just working remotely if you want me too…"

This was really how he was going to answer the phone. He really knew how to pull the heart strings of a pregnant lady!

"Jess, I have something I need to say…" She cut to the chase, trying to be ruthless at least for the moment, "And I need you to just listen and try to understand!"

"What are you going to say?" He was all knowing even when he was miles away. She could sense in his tone that he knew exactly what was coming.

"Logan came to visit me. He broke up with his fiancé and-,"

"And you're back together with him?" He was angry. So, so angry. She could sense the tension, angry that he was so damn confrontational. Why couldn't he be a normal person who just agreed and then bitched to his friends in private?

She signed audibly, "It's his baby Jess. I can't just dismiss that fact!"

"Yeah that he didn't even know about! How did he even find out?" She wondered if he cared about the answer or just wanted to ask questions to ask questions.

She grumbled, "My grandma ran into his mom at a function. Jess I am so, so sor-,"

"Don't be sorry! I get it. But Rory?" He was surprisingly calm in the moment, "Don't call me again. Ever. I'll avoid family Christmas at your place, I'll avoid the two of you. You're free of me. For good."

"Jess! You're the one who wanted me to contact him and tell him! What did you think would happen?" The Yale fight song played in the back of her head as she pushed back at his anger even though she knew that she was the one in the wrong.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I didn't think you'd go right back to him. You can be a father without being in a relationship with the mother!" He remembered his own dysfunctional family and thought about how Luke had managed to successfully co-parent his daughter after not knowing her for years. He imagined that's how this situation would have unfolded. Clearly, he was wrong and he should have known that. Rory was always indecisive over men, over him especially. She had juggled her feelings between Dean and him for years always waffling back and forth. Maybe it was that she was too nice to hurt anyone's feelings up front, instead she'd end up leading on all parties until the absolute last moment. Maybe she was just too optimistic that things would work out if she just let the chips fall naturally. Whatever it was, it really fucking sucked.

"Jess I don't want my kid to grow up seeing their Dad just on Christmas!" She recounted her own childhood with a Dad who loved her but was the firm definition of flakey and unavailable especially during the pivotal years. Despite being happy with just her mom, she had nothing but fond memories of times that the three of them shared together. It made car rides, dinners, and even trips to the hospital better when they were a unit.

He understood that. He really did. His own father hadn't exactly won any awards for outstanding service in that department- maybe that's why Jess felt so oddly betrayed by her taking away a baby that wasn't even his. Maybe this wasn't even about Rory but instead about his want to have his own family and get the whole family ties thing right. He sighed, "Rory I get it but you have to get where I'm coming from when I say that I cannot be in your life then." He was stern and firm, angry but okay.

"Jess that's not what I want!" She felt herself getting emotional, "I still love you and-,"

His sharp inhale shook half the state, "Don't do it. Don't say that."

"You've been in my life for so long. Longer than Logan and I can't imagine being without you…." A few tears rolled down her cheeks, staining the surface in front of her, "I still want to be friends!" Jess and her were connected through books, and through life lessons. They had both went through some hard ones together. They were like these two matching pieces that sometimes lost sight of each other but always came back and formed the most mismatched yet perfect union. Imagining a life without Jess was the worst outcome imaginable in this situation.

"I can't be your friend Rory! I've never been able to be just your friend. You know that."

They paused, silence pulsing through the main line as they tried to find the words that would connect them in any way possible.

"Goodbye Rory." Jess couldn't stand to be on the phone for another minute longer. He wondered if Logan was there, at the apartment, moving out the furniture he had helped Rory pick out and put together. If he was looking at the ultrasound picture that he saw in person.

"Bye Jess…." She set the phone down on the table next to her, releasing full inconsolable sobs that were laced with heartache and hormones. She wasn't sure if Logan was right. She wasn't sure if Jess was right. She wasn't sure if anything happening at this moment was right. The universe had given her some hard hands but this one was the worst yet.

She glanced at the window to see Logan chatting with someone outside. He would be the type to run into somebody and immediately befriend them. He was charming like that and even got more so with age. Back when they were dating she would have smiled at the thought of him enjoying Stars Hallow but seeing him here with a grocery bag, imagining him chatting with Taylor- it felt weirdly wrong,

Maybe it was the Italian leather loafers that he was wearing or maybe it was the fact that this had been her world for so long. Her grandmother always hated the separate world talks but it was the harsh reality of growing up in the SH.

She stood up to unlock the door for him, her eyes lingering back at her phone. Hoping it would go off with a call from Jess or her mom or anybody who could make her feel better at this moment.

Something else caught her attention besides a loud ringing or a lit-up screen.

The color red? On white? What had she been eating?
Nothing.
Was it blood?
Oh god.
It was blood.

She touched her growing stomach in a panic. People always said that motherly instincts would kick in but in the moment, all she could think was that she wanted her own mommy. She crawled to the bathroom unsure if the cramps in her abdomen were from anxiety or from something worse.

She noted the drops that lingered behind her. They weren't large, only about the size of a dime. She hadn't got to that chapter in her pregnancy books yet. Maybe that was large when it came to this. She didn't have her phone on her and she wasn't sure she wanted to crawl back to get it but she desperately needed to talk to somebody. Her ears perked at the sound of the door clicking.

"Logan!" Her voice cracked, shaking the walls of the house.

"Ace!" He called back, "You okay?" He could feel the tone, his own eyes noting the spots lining the floor until he found her sideways on the bathroom floor. He jumped into action, a regular EMT in a tie, "Did it just start?" His hand lingered on her stomach, pressing, feeling for a movement.

She tried to hide the convulsions running through her body but he steadied her with his arms, lifting, and helping her up, "Let's go for a little ride to the hospital, huh? Just to make sure!" He smiled without flashing his pearly whites. A signature look for him. He was so calm. How was he so calm?

She squeezed his hand, "I need to call my mom."