Here is the slight angst I promised...(LevixPetra)


7. Losing Your Memory


Levi flat out refused when Erwin suggested that he would order some subordinate to clear out the rooms of Levi's Special Operations Squad and sort through their belongings to send them back to their respective family members and friends.

"I'll do it." Levi stated tonelessly, his eyes fixed on a spot just over Erwin's shoulder.

"But Levi-" The commander began, his thick brows furrowing together. He halted when he saw Levi's expression and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Alright, as you wish. I am truly sorry for your loss."

Levi couldn't help but snort, "What a typical thing to say."

"I am sorry about her." Erwin emphasized.

Levi closed his eyes for a moment before shrugging Erwin's hand away. "Don't be. Petra Ral was a member of the scouting legion and she was handpicked by me to serve as an essential part of the Special Operations Squad. She knew what was at stake and she had chosen to fight to preserve humanity. Think before you say it was my loss because it wasn't. It was a loss for humanity."

And it's my fault that I bloody well could not protect her.

Without another word, he whirled around and walked away. He saved her room for the end, going through Erd, Auruo and Gunter's belongings first and stacking them up neatly in separate boxes to send them back to their families. When he could not find a reason to stall any longer, he opened the door to her room, bracing himself as her faint scent washed over him.

It clung to her bed sheets, to the curtains. To the very walls of the room.

He found the key to her closet under her mattress. It contained spare sets of her uniform along with other clothes. Levi's eyes were drawn to a particular dress which she had worn to a ball inside wall Sina once. She had looked radiant that evening, even more so than usual.

A small box at the bottom of the closet contained letters she had received from her friends and family. Levi knew Petra has been well liked among her peers and was not surprised to see that she had many friends. Letter after letter contained mentions of his name.

I have decided to devote myself to him...

Captain Levi is my inspiration…

Levi can come across as unapproachable sometimes but I know him. I feel like I truly know him…

Another neat stack of letters was from father. He could not find the courage to open them and read them however, especially after his last encounter with Petra's father.

'I was thinking it was probably too early for me to insist she get married, you know…she is still too young and has her whole life ahead of her.'

Levi closed the box and slumped against the closet, remaining that way for the majority of the night, inhaling her scent which was bound to fade away soon and committing it to his memory. Even if it was pointless.

A day would come when he would not be able to recall her face with perfect clarity. When the lines would blur together to form a hazy image at best. When the sound of her ringing laughter would fade away. When her sheets would go cold and her scent would leave them.

A day would come when Levi would forget what it was to love her.