Disclaimer: I do not own the characters within this story. All rights and much respect go to Crown Media, Hallmark, Brian Bird, Michael Landon, Jr., the actors, creators, and writers of the show "When Calls the Heart."

Note... Any reference to Dr. Phil is only for story purposes. I do not mean to imply that he has the beliefs as those discussed in the story...

Chapter 17- You Are My World

She handed him a glass of scotch and he swallowed it quickly. He sat the glass back down on the table.

"Refill?" She asked.

"No, maybe coffee instead?" He replied as he began fidgeting with his hands.

"Jack, I don't see you for so long, and then twice in one week. What's going on?" She asked as she handed him a cup of black coffee.

"Thanks, I needed to talk with someone who understands," Jack responded as he brought the cup up to his lips. "Where's Marco? I just talked to him and told him I was coming over."

"I'm sorry. That would be my fault," she admitted. "I forgot to stop for gas on my way home from work. I have an early shift at the hospital and he doesn't want me pumping gas in the dark. He just ran up to the gas station and will be back any minute. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I'm not sure," he hesitated. He took a deep breath, "Amy, when you and Marco were dating, did you ever run into conflicts with his job?"

"Did she ever," Marco stated as he entered the den. "Hell, we even broke up for a couple of months."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Jack looked down, losing himself in his cup of coffee. He sat the cup down on the end table and started pacing. His hands rubbing hard up and down his face as if the next time he opened his eyes, all of his concerns would have miraculously disappeared.

"What happened? Did you and Elizabeth have a fight?" He asked.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not sure but she thinks I'm seeing another woman."

Marco laughed… "Yes, that would be a fight."

"It's not funny. She actually asked me if I was seeing someone else," Jack replied.

"I'm sorry but the thought of you with someone other than Elizabeth is quite comical. So, what did you say?" Marco asked.

"I told her not to be silly," Jack shook his head and exhaled hard, realizing just how patronizing that sounded.

"Oh, that went over like a lead balloon, I'm sure," Amy shook her head and looked back at Marco.

Marco offered him another drink, but Jack turned him down.

"I need advice, not more alcohol…" Jack remarked.

Amy excused herself but before heading back to bed she asked, "Jack, Marco has told me a little about her and she seems quite special. It's obvious that she has flipped your world upside down. Do you want my advice, or do you just want to talk to Marco?"

"That's why I'm here, Amy. I want a woman's perspective. I need to know how you felt back then," he took a deep breath and settled in, hoping to gain a better understanding of what Elizabeth is feeling.

"Jack, do you care about her? I mean do you see a future with her or is she just someone to pass the time with?" She asked.

Jack's face lit up, "Just the thought of her makes me smile. I think I fell in love with her the first time we met." Jack kept talking but he was looking passed Marco or Amy, just staring off in the distance, through everyone, as if Elizabeth was at the end of his focal point. He smiled as a slight laugh escaped his mouth in the form of an exhale, "I love the way her lips curl up just slightly when she starts to smile; the twinkle in her eyes when she thinks she's won an argument, and the warmth she spreads to each and every one of her students." His voice softened and he looked down slightly, "I love her kindness, her compassion for others, and her lips…her lips are so soft, pillow like and I just want to fall into them…"

"Ah hem… Jack, we're still here," Marco announced, snapping him out of his self imposed trance.

"Sorry," his face reddened slightly. He sat back down on the sofa.

Amy sat on the sofa beside him, "Jack, have you told her how to feel. I mean deep down how you feel?"

With raised eyebrows and a slight shoulder shrug and head tilt he replied, "I have told her I love her."

"Well, that's a start. Jack, women want to feel that we share things, everything with you guys. 'I love you' is wonderful to hear, but if the actions fall short, then they just become words," Amy stated with an equally soft voice.

"I love everything about her," Jack began.

"No Jack, don't tell us; you need to tell her," Amy advised.

"Did you tell her anything about your undercover assignment?" She asked.

Jack looked back at Marco, "No, I told her I was going away for training."

"Hmm, why?" She asked.

"Because I didn't want to worry her," He replied as he twiddled his thumbs.

"Hmm, I see. Well, how is that working out for you?" She asked with a short harsh breath.

Jack exhaled hard and shook his head, "Apparently not too well."

Amy sat on the sofa next to Jack, "Don't waste any time, Jack. Be completely honest with her. I'm sure that she will surprise you. If you hide anything from her and she finds out, she'll never trust you again.

"I'm afraid that she's already there," he replied.

"Are you seeing someone else?" She asked.

Jack looked shocked at the absurdity of the question, "Of course not…never!"

"Jack, if it was Elizabeth who were going out of town for an unknown amount of time, and you asked to come see her and she was evasive, what would you think?" Amy asked.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't think she was seeing anyone else," he remarked. Jack looked across the room as if the words he was looking for were written on the wall above Amy and Marco's wedding picture. "I understand, Amy. I would think she was hiding something from me."

She looked over at Marco, "Precisely…Marco learned never to keep me in the dark again. We broke up, and I had actually started dating someone else before he came to his senses. I mean, sometimes you guys are dense," she exhaled sharply. "How are we supposed to know what's going on in your heads when you don't tell us. Then you cover everything in a veil of secrecy, and the only thing you end up doing is cause us more worry. We aren't stupid, and when something seems off it usually is."

Jack stood quietly encouraging Amy to continue, "I would ask a question, and it was worse than pulling teeth to get him to answer. Finally it seemed that we fought more than we laughed, and I said enough was enough. We were apart for about two weeks, and a guy I went to college with came into town. He asked me out and, well I didn't want to go, but I was trying so hard to forget about him, so I went."

The look on Jack's face showed that he had also visualized the same happening with Elizabeth. Amy had his complete attention.

"I'm a macho guy, but I have to tell you Jack, I was torn up," Marco admitted.

"Jack, I tried so hard to forget about Marco but the more I tried, the angrier I became at him for pushing me away. All of those feelings were right on the surface," she admitted.

"How did you two get back together?" Jack asked.

Tears welled up in her eyes as Marco walked around to the back of the sofa and wrapped his arms around her. Jack could tell that whatever happened, it was quite emotional.

"I don't think you guys even knew each other yet, but when everything went down, Marco was shot…"

Jack spun his head in Marco's direction, "You were shot? How come I didn't know that?"

"It's not something that I enjoy reliving," He stated.

"I hadn't seen him in almost a month, and knew nothing until he was brought into the ER. I was working in pediatrics at the time, and I switched my shifts around so I could sit with him all night when the other officers were home with their families. One night, I fell asleep holding his hand with my head resting on the side of the bed. He woke up and I heard him talking to me. He told me how sorry he was, and how much he loved me. He thought I was asleep but I lost it when he prayed that the Lord wouldn't take him before he could tell me everything in his heart. I heard it all, every glorious word."

"What happened with the other guy you were dating?" Jack asked as he got up and walked over to get a closer look at their wedding picture.

"It was always Marco. I fell in love with him the first time I met him, and no matter how hard I tried, no one could take his place." She reached her hands across her chest and placed them on Marco's arms. "You know Jack, he told me about his undercover assignments. Well, not everything about them, but I knew some things. My problem came from him initially trying to hide things. Once I felt he was keeping secrets, I questioned everything he said, and that included him having told me that he loved me."

Amy stood up, walked over to Jack and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you like a brother, Jack. You are truly a great guy, and you deserve the best. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting her, but she has to be special to have turned your world upside down. I've never seen you like this over a girl. No matter what Marco says, talk to her. Don't go away with her feeling uncertain. If you do, when you come back, she will have moved on without you."

Jack leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, "Thanks sis for the pep talk. I needed to hear everything you said."

"Good night guys," Amy stated as she headed for bed.

"Good night Sweetheart. I'll be there in a little while," Marco called out.

"Good night Amy. Thanks…" Jack responded.

"Hey Jack, I have to ask, isn't Jamie still in Charlottesville?" Marco asked.

"Why are you bringing her up?" Jack asked as he picked up his empty glass.

"Want another?" Marco asked with the scotch bottle in his hand ready to pour.

"No, I'm sticking with coffee. I need to think clearly right now," he stated.

"So, do you have to go to Charlottesville on assignment?" Marco asked.

Jack grabbed his keys off the table, "I think they are pulling people from Charlottesville, but I have to go to Alexandria."

"So, you didn't answer me… Is Jamie still in Charlottesville?" Marco asked again.

"We were over a long time ago, Marco. Truth is, we were over before we even got started," Jack admitted.

"Does she still work for the Charlottesville PD," Marco asked.

Jack started walking toward the door, "Yes, as far as I know. I haven't kept up with her. Her parents still live in Croatan and I see them occasionally, but I haven't asked about her."

Jack turned the door handle, "I need to go. Sorry to bother you so late. Tell Amy I'm sorry. I hope I didn't keep her awake."

"She's fine, Jack. She's used to it," Marco advised.

Elizabeth lay across her bed but her sleep was scattered and scarce. Every time she drifted off her next dream was more torturous than the one before. She tossed and turned playing in her mind between victim and perpetrator, with neither role bringing comfort. She sat up, wiped her eyes before crying some more. She pulled out her journal hoping that her words would put her feelings into perspective…

"Dear Tummy, I apologize for the influx of butterflies. Dear Pillow, I'm so sorry for all of the tears. Dear Heart, I'm sorry for all the strain. Dear Brain, no matter what you've told me, I pray it's not too late to fix things."

She continued…

"How can I say that I love you unconditionally when at the first test of its stability, I cast you aside, doubt your word, and seem willing to simply walk away. I find myself walking a thin line, so fine that I have no idea that I've lost my balance until it's too late. By that time I fear that I have risked pushing you so far away that you find it easy to live without me. Please close your eyes and listen to my heart; I didn't want to say good night, and I especially don't want to say goodbye. For saying goodbye means that you are going away, and no matter the length of time, I fear that you will forget me."

Jack slipped into his truck and looked at his watch…1:15 am. He pulled out his phone and sent out a text…

"u awake…?"

Elizabeth heard her phone chime and grabbed it hoping it was a message from Jack.

"Yes, can't sleep…"

"I'm sorry…"

"4 what?"

"4 upsetting u. If I call will u answer…?"

"Yes…"

Almost simultaneously as she sent her response to the text, the phone rang…

"Hello," she answered nervously.

"Elizabeth, I love you."

"Jack, I love you too."

It was a good thing that they were no longer texting as both of them were experiencing shaky, numb fingers.

"Unfortunately there are things I'm not at liberty to tell you," Jack began, "but you should know by now how I feel about you."

"Jack I know what you've said, but your actions tell me something entirely different," she was holding back the tears making it difficult for her to speak.

"I can't leave here with you thinking that there's another woman in my life. You couldn't be farther from the truth," he stated as he opened his heart and allowed the emotion to pour out.

Elizabeth remained quiet…

"Are you still there?" He asked.

"Mm hmm," she allowed the sound to pass her lips as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"Say something," he said.

"Jack, I'm sorry too. I'm just scared. I've never been involved with anyone in such a dangerous job. I know you can't tell me everything about your work, but it worries me. I can't help it," she explained.

"I know it's late, but can I come over? I'm not sure when I'll have to leave, and I don't want to go with things like this between us," he asked.

"I'll be in the courtyard…" she replied.

Before leaving her room, she pulled out her journal; still feeling a flood of emotions, she felt the need to capture them…

"Our emotions wash over us like the waves of the ocean, knocking us down, leaving us feeling like we're going to drown. We pick ourselves up, only to be brought to our knees over and over again. However, with each new wave, we pray that our heart becomes stronger, resilient enough to push past the uncertainty, sadness and fear, eventually allowing the joy to find the light again."

She closed her journal and sat it on the table. She slipped on her shoes and walked toward the door. Suddenly she was angry…angry that she pushed Jack away; angry at her friends for instilling doubts of Jack's love in her head, and angry at herself for allowing those same doubts to blow through her like a punishing wind. She walked out to the courtyard and took a seat on top of one of the picnic tables.

Once he arrived at her apartment complex, he headed through the courtyard. Off in the distance he saw her, sitting alone on a picnic table. "Elizabeth," he called out to her not wanting to frighten her.

She glanced up; her eyes were red and puffy; her affect was flat, and she looked emotionally drained. "Jack, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make things harder on you. I'm just confused. My emotions are all over the place. I want nothing more than to be with you, and then I feel you being secretive, and I'm afraid that this is falling apart," signifying with her hand going between the two of them.

He approached her, standing in front as his hands reassuringly rubbed her arms. He spoke softly, "Were we ever strangers? I don't believe we were. Even as unusual as it was, I think there was something special between us from the first time we met. I am consumed by you, totally and completely consumed by you. When we aren't together I wonder what you're doing; I worry about your safety, and I look forward to when I can wrap my arms around you again."

She reached up and wiped an errant tear that slipped over his bottom lid and down his cheek.

"Elizabeth, I don't know where you've gotten this idea that I'm seeing someone else. You're everything to me, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that," his voice was soft and he could see her body soften."

"I was listening to some of the girls talking at school," she stated, now feeling silly as he had previously remarked.

"They were talking about me? Us? Do you tell people about us?" He asked.

"No Jack, they were talking in general terms," she clarified. "I'm sure you and your friends talk…"

"But not about us. I don't kiss and tell. People seem to have a clear understanding of how everyone else should live their lives. Unfortunately, they're not clear on how to handle their own," he remarked.

"Jack, on Dr. Phil there was a segment dealing with relationships. Melissa watched it and said that if you are in a relationship and the man is not sleeping with you, then he's sleeping with someone else. You aren't sleeping with me, so that would mean that there's someone else, right?" she asked, clearly confused because Jack did not entertain Dr. Phil's theory.

"Is that what's bothering you? Okay, let's go," he reached for her hand.

"Where are we going? It's really late," she added.

"We're going inside to have sex, unless you'd rather do it out here…" He stated as he took her hand and jokingly pulled her toward the building.

It appeared to take a moment for his comment to register in her mind, "Oh Okay…wait…what?"

"I'm kidding Elizabeth, but only because I'm not rushing you in that step, not because I don't want to, because I do," he closed the distance; the soft warmth of his voice melted her and her smile soon returned.

His hands gently framed her face. His touch was like softly played musical notes, a beautiful melody that she wanted to last forever. He gently stroked her cheeks, wiping away her tears with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away…" she began.

He took a seat on the picnic table beside her, "You ask me what you need to know and I'll tell you."

"Where are you going?"

"Alexandria…"

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure, but I hope to be home within a few weeks," he replied.

"Is it possible for me to visit you?"

"I don't think so. I would love for you to visit, but it may jeopardize my position. Do you understand?"

"I do. Can you call me or text?"

"We'll see…"

"Promise me something?" She asked.

"Anything…"

"Come home to me…"

He wanted to answer her, but he had to be honest. As a police officer he always faced the possibility of not coming home, and he wouldn't intentionally lie to her. He stood up and turned to face her. His arms enveloped her, swallowing her whole as he inhaled and more of her scent permeated his brain. He drew her close against his body; his mouth pressing firmly down upon hers. His kiss was hot and demanding; as satisfying as his favorite meal. Each one was afraid to say goodnight for fear that it would end up being goodbye. He wanted to take in everything about her; he needed to take in everything about her. When alone and away from her, he had to be able to close his eyes and be brought back to a moment when each one felt the love of the other.

Recognizing that he did not answer, she asked, "Is it dangerous? Please be honest." She wrapped her arm through his and buried herself deep into his chest.

He released a harsh breath, "Elizabeth, walking across Virginia Beach Boulevard can be dangerous; working as a clerk at 7-11 can be dangerous, and you jumping Bugsy over almost four foot fences is definitely dangerous."

"Jack, you know what I mean. I'm afraid of losing you," she looked up at him, without further words her eyes expressed what fear she felt.

"Elizabeth, I will do everything in my power to come home to you," he promised.

He looked at his watch, 2:30am, Come on, let me walk you home. It's late and you need to get some sleep." He held out his hand and she willingly accepted. As they walked toward her building, Jack stopped walking and turned to face her, "I love you and I cherish you more than you could ever know. I was afraid to talk to you about everything. I guess in my mind I was thinking that what you didn't know wouldn't scare you. I know now, that's wrong, and I'm sorry for not respecting what we have together enough to let you in."

"Jack, is it dangerous?" She asked again, determined to get an answer.

"No more so than you having to deal with an angry parent," he replied.

"Only in my case, they aren't waving a gun in my face," she remarked.

He walked her to her door, leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, "Are we okay? I can't leave here unless I know you and I are okay."

"So if I say no, does that mean you will stay in town?" She asked with a smile that was forced.

"I wish I could," he stated.

"Jack, I love you. We're okay," she assured him. "You won't leave without saying goodbye, right?"

"It's not goodbye. It's more like, I'll see you soon," he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers. "I'm going to miss you," he said emphatically.

She stood in the doorway and watched him walk down the hall. She couldn't help but worry for his safety. She closed the door behind her and headed for bed. She pulled out her journal, hoping that expressing her emotions would help put her at ease…

"Living in fear is like being in restraints; it's a knife in your stomach unmercifully twisting; it sits quietly, waiting to take your courage, your strength, your true sense of who you are. It's a feeling of being suffocated by an invisible hand. Its irrational thoughts, it's living in the shadows when you're too afraid to step out into the light. Though difficult, it is important to realize that fear only takes what you willingly give. Make the choice to stand firm, because much like the ghosts in children's nightmares, fear is simply an illusion."

Elizabeth settled into bed. Before she knew it, her alarm was screaming for her to wake up. Although it was chilly outside, she sat up in bed, and could feel the warmth of the sun streaming through the slight openings in her blinds. She had always felt that things looked brighter the next morning, but there was still a grey mist hanging over her. Only this morning she chose to cast it aside, believe with her heart and not just her head, and trust that their love will pull them through whatever comes.

She dressed, grabbed a cup of coffee, and headed out the door. She made her way to school, checked in at the main office, and then made the long walk to the other end of the building to her class. Elizabeth sat her bag beside her desk, finished her coffee, and waited for her students to arrive. Suddenly her phone chimed…

"I hope u made it 2 school on time…"

"Here now. Waiting on students…"

"Sorry I kept u awake…"

"Don't B. We needed 2 talk…Do u know when u r leaving…?"

"Sarge isn't n yet. Want u 2 know my assignment is as a married man…"

"Who's playing ur wife…?

"Funny, it's just a job. Saving myself 4 u…"

"R u making fun of my virgin status…?"

"Never, luv u for feeling so strong about that. U r a special woman…"

"Always heard guys want 2 marry 1, but don't want 2 leave any…LOL"

"May B some guys…"

"Oh, Sarge is walking n now. Talk later… Luv u…"

"Luv u back…"

Elizabeth took a deep breath and attempted to calm the perfect storm that was raging inside. She couldn't imagine having no contact with him for weeks at a time; not knowing if he was safe, or when he would return. She had a few moments before the children arrived. Although she was scared for Jack, she was not worried for them as a couple. She felt a hesitant smile, pulled out her journal and stated to convey her feelings on paper…

"Sometimes the beats of my heart are shallow, and other times it beats so strong that I fear my chest will burst. It pounds; it races, leaving me struggling to understand its significance. Then I realize, although it keeps me alive physically, you are truly what warms my blood, making each day worth facing. My dearest Jack, whatever comes, I will remain strong. Even in silence, our hearts will speak, and we will never truly be alone."

The door flew open and children started rushing in…

"Good morning Miss Thatcher," the group of them called out in unison.

"Good morning children," she replied with as much cheer as she could muster.

The children went through their regular routine of hanging up jackets, and putting away their lunch boxes before taking their seats.

Elizabeth sat at her desk as the children worked independently on their reading assignment. She kept checking her phone, hoping for some word from Jack.

"He promised not to leave town without saying goodbye," she thought. Each time she checked her phone, she felt herself suffocating, choking on the air, and having to remind herself to breathe. Each time she closed her phone down, having received no new message from Jack, she wasn't sure if she should be excited or depressed, because no news meant that he was still in town.

Halfway through their morning reading lesson, Paula Cooper approached Elizabeth's desk…

"Miss Thatcher, you look unhappy. When I'm sad, my mommy rocks me in her big chair," she said as she hugged Elizabeth's neck.

"That is so thoughtful of you sweetheart. I feel better already," Elizabeth stated.

Paula hugged Elizabeth again, "I know my mommy gets sad when my daddy has to go out on the ship. Sometimes she stays sad until my daddy comes home. Is your daddy on a ship?"

"No he isn't, Honey. I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," Elizabeth assured her.

"Miss Thatcher, you need a boyfriend so he can make you happy when you're sad," Paula mentioned before turning around and heading to her seat.

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at the small child's evaluation of what is needed for happiness. She watched her walk back to her desk, a young child with few cares and a simplistic view of life.

She glanced out the window, catching a glimpse of the early morning sun as it brought its warmth into the classroom. How could something that has the ability to warm everything in its path make her feel so cold? How could something with the ability to light the world choose to plunge her into darkness instead? And, how could something with such a magnetic pull, actually work to push them apart? She had been falling through space and time, clouds and stars, for days and weeks and months. Jack was always there to catch her, until now. For with this new day also came the realization that she may need to say that which she found so difficult. It wasn't 'take care' or 'see you later' or even 'I'll miss you." With the possibility of 'goodbye' on the horizon, she felt sick, and she didn't want to let go.

Lunch time came and went, still nothing from Jack. Afternoon lessons were started and completed, and still nothing from Jack. She put the kids on the bus and slowly walked back to her classroom. Elizabeth sat at her desk willing the tears to stop forming when she heard her phone chime. Her heart stopped as she reached for this small gadget that most likely held news of her future.

"R u done 4 the day…?"

"Yes, just dismissed the kids…"

"I love u…"

"Please Jack; don't hold me in suspense…"

'I'm here by your Jeep. Can u come outside…?"

"B right out…"

She suddenly felt nauseous, and her stride was short and slow, as if she were on her way to the dentist for a root canal. She reached the door, "just pull the tooth, I can't take the pain," she thought.

She opened the door and headed for the parking lot. She scanned the area trying her best to smile, even if it was forced. She wanted him to feel safe leaving without fear of losing her. She wanted to prove that she was strong and capable of being the woman he needed.

Suddenly the world fell away, drained of all color, but him, standing in the sunlight. In his hands he held two roses, one red and one white.

She smiled, realizing that this was it. They would be apart for however long it took, but she would smile. She wouldn't be able to see him or most likely contact him, but she would smile. She promised herself that she would smile in company, but cry alone.

"Hi Jack, I guess you're leaving?" She asked.

He reached out his arm, offering her the flowers, a symbol of his true and pure love. He smiled, "Well actually, my plans have changed…"

To be continued…